HOW TO GET PAST YOUR PAST | PAUL DAUGHERTY | JACOB SERIES PT. 3

Summary

Podcast Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Victory Church: Paul Daugherty
Episode Title: HOW TO GET PAST YOUR PAST | PAUL DAUGHERTY | JACOB SERIES PT. 3
Date: February 22, 2026

In this powerful installment of the Jacob Series, Pastor Paul Daugherty explores Genesis 29–33 to address the universal struggle of moving beyond one’s past. Using Jacob’s life as a template, Paul examines the complex interplay between blessing and baggage, trauma and triumph, and the ongoing need for grace, reconciliation, and personal growth. The message is both deeply scriptural and personally applicable, encouraging listeners to face their histories honestly and embrace God’s power to heal and reconcile.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jacob’s Burdened Journey (Genesis 32) [00:15–09:37]

• Jacob’s Past: Paul outlines Jacob’s tumultuous life, packed with mistakes—deceit, dysfunctional relationships, and unresolved conflict with his brother, Esau. Now in his 90s, Jacob’s past is “catching up with him” (02:32).
• Living with the Past: Pastor Paul uses a metaphor of “balloons tied up” to illustrate how we often believe we’ve let go of our past, yet it remains attached (03:11).
  • Quote: “You can run away from your past... But your past somehow still sticks around.” – Pastor Paul [03:11]
• The Battle in Our Minds: How fear, anxiety, and shame tie us to old wounds, leading to “thought bubbles” that persist (02:36).

2. Facing and Praying Through the Past [04:37–09:37]

• The Power of Prayer: Jacob’s transformation begins with prayer, showing the first step to dealing with the past:
  • Quote: “If you’re thinking about your past, take it to prayer. If your past is still haunting you, take it to the war room.” – Pastor Paul [04:58]
• Blessings and Brokenness: Even blessed people struggle. “I’m blessed, but…” becomes the refrain, as Paul highlights that everyone brings both blessing and baggage to God (06:48).
  • Quote: “You can bring your blessed butt to church. This is the best place to deal with your blessed but.” – Pastor Paul [06:52]

3. Identity, Weakness, and Grace [13:15–18:22]

• Identity Beyond Achievements: God’s blessing and healing comes not to “filtered” or performance-based versions of ourselves, but to the real us found alone before Him.
  • Quote: “God says, I can only bless the real you, not the you with all the filters... He wanted Jacob all alone.” – Pastor Paul [13:29]
• God Works With Weakness: Building on Jacob and Leah’s lives, Paul insists God works not through perfection, but through human frailty.
  • Quote: “God works with weak people. God is attracted to brokenness.” – Pastor Paul [17:45]
• Breaking the “Rachel Illusion”: The myth that some external achievement or relationship (marriage, money, children) will finally “fix” us. Instead, lasting satisfaction is only found in God (19:06–21:41).
  • Quote: “Your happiness is attached to what happens with your kids or your spouse or your money... you are setting yourself up for pain.” – Pastor Paul [22:44]

4. Cycles of Disappointment and the Path to Wholeness [21:41–26:00]

• Blame & Self-Blame: Pastor Paul presents four responses when life disappoints: (1) blame the object/person, (2) blame oneself, (3) blame life/hardened heart, or (4) accept that the heart’s true desire is found in God.
• Insecurity and Manipulation: Jacob’s family drama escalates—his wives manipulating, vying for affection and validation (mandrakes, children)—underscoring how inner voids can’t be filled by external wins.

5. Three Dimensions of Salvation [27:07–29:39]

• Justification: “We are saved from the penalty of sin” when we trust Christ [27:07].
• Sanctification: An ongoing process—God is continually at work in us.
  • Quote: “We’re all like the roads of Oklahoma. We’re under construction until death do us part.” – Pastor Paul [29:01]
• Glorification: Our future hope—“a day without sin, struggle, or pain” [29:48].

6. Returning & Reconciliation: Jacob Faces the Past [32:10–47:08]

• Cutting Old Ties: Rachel’s theft of household idols symbolizes how we can physically remove ourselves from our past without severing soul ties to it (33:17–34:42).
• Boundaries in Reconciliation: True reconciliation doesn’t always mean continued relationship; sometimes, it involves forgiveness and parting ways.
  • Quote: “You can reconcile with someone, but you don’t have to keep living with them.” – Pastor Paul [36:59]
• God’s Pursuing Love: “Everywhere Jacob runs, God runs after Jacob.” (37:45)
  • Quote: “God’s love is not based on my goodness. It’s based on his goodness.” – Pastor Paul [38:12]

7. Restoration: Jacob and Esau [47:21–52:13]

• Jacob’s Encounter: After wrestling with God—his name changed to Israel—Jacob is transformed but still anxious (47:21).
• Unexpected Grace: In Genesis 33, Esau runs to embrace Jacob, offering forgiveness, not revenge.
  • Quote: “The thing he was fearing, the paranoia, was waiting to embrace him with grace, and this is the gospel.” – Pastor Paul [51:12]
• Guilt and Grace: Esau refuses Jacob’s gifts for forgiveness:
  • Quote: “You don’t have to pay me for this mercy.” – Pastor Paul [51:24]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Personal Weakness & God’s Grace:
  “God is more impressed with a broken spirit than a perfect spirit.” – Pastor Paul [18:22]
• The Necessity of Honesty:
  “God can only bless the real you... not the you with all the filters…” – Pastor Paul [13:29]
• On Life’s Limps:
  “I don’t trust anybody without a limp because they haven’t walked through enough stuff to realize they need grace and need to give grace.” – Pastor Paul [41:35]
• On Prodigal Encounters:
  “He threw his arms around him and they wept.” [50:12] – The climactic reconciliation between Jacob and Esau, portrayed live in the congregation.

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Important Timestamps and Segments

• Running from the Past – Balloons Metaphor: [03:11]
• Jacob’s Prayer & “Blessed But”: [04:58–07:32]
• Identity and Being Alone with God: [13:15–14:31]
• Four Ways We Respond to Disappointment: [19:29–21:41]
• Three Stages of Salvation: [27:07–29:39]
• Rachel Stealing Idols & Remaining Tied to the Past: [33:17–34:42]
• Setting Relational Boundaries After Reconciliation: [36:34–37:04]
• God’s Pursuing Love for Jacob: [37:45–38:14]
• Jacob’s Wrestling and Confession: [41:05–42:33]
• Story of Forgiving an Abusive Father at the Altar: [44:15–44:31]
• Reconciliation with Esau: [47:34–51:28]

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Major Takeaways and Applications

1. Everyone Has a Past—And God Isn’t Finished With You

We all live in the tension between blessing and brokenness. No matter your age or status, the past can linger, but God’s work in your life is not complete.

2. Bring Your Past to God

Honest prayer is the first step to healing. Only when we bring our “blessed but” to God can we be realigned with His purposes.

3. God Uses Brokenness

Rather than seeking to numb or escape pain with achievements or relationships, recognize that God often does His greatest work in places of weakness and humility.

4. Face—and Reconcile With—Your Past

Sometimes, blessing on the other side of pain only comes from facing what (or whom) you’ve been running from. True reconciliation may lead to restored relationship—or simply to the release of a grudge.

5. Grace Is Free—for Yourself and Others

You cannot earn grace—neither for yourself nor from others. Forgiveness is to be received, not bought. Likewise, extend grace even (especially) to those who may have hurt you deeply.

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Conclusion & Call to Action

Pastor Paul closes with an altar call—a moment of collective honesty and surrender. He invites listeners to identify who their “Esau” or “Jacob” might be, and to ask God for the courage to forgive, release, or be reconciled. The service ends with prayer and worship, celebrating the grace that "covers the past and secures a future."

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Memorable Closing Prayer:
“I thank you, God, that you never give up on Jacob...that you are writing a fresh story of forgiveness and mercy. God...that today, someone who's been attached to the past, someone who has been paranoid by the past, that today you are cutting ties in areas where there has been anxiety, fear, sin, old wounds...And I pray you would provide opportunities, God, on this side of heaven, where it's possible, for reconciliation.” – Pastor Paul [59:02–61:49]

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For Listeners:
If your past feels like a shadow you can’t shake—or you know there is reconciliation to be sought—this message reminds us: God is not finished, grace is always available, and the path forward starts with honest prayer and courageous facing of your “Esau,” trusting God with the outcome.

Transcript

[Congregation Member]

Foreign.

[Pastor Paul]

Come on. We've been in our Jacob series now for three weeks. If you got a Bible, go to Genesis 32.

[Congregation Member]

Whoo.

[Pastor Paul]

How many all were here last week? Last week, we talked about Leah and how God used the weak things of the world to confound the strong things, the. The foolish things to confound the wise. How God birthed Judah through Leah. The tribe of Judah that would produce the Messiah that would save the world came through the girl that nobody wanted. If you missed last week, you should go back and listen to it. Also, I wore a pink sweater last week, and that stood out to some people. They were like, interesting. And I was like, real men wear pink. Well, someone sent me a message on Facebook, and I just wanted to show it to you because it was kind of funny. And normally I wouldn't do this, but if you got that. That picture, just throw it up there. Said Paul, I love you, but give that sweater to Pastor Sharon, please, in Jesus name. I get messages like this all the time from some of our longtime church members. And they're so sweet. I love y', all, but that is so funny. I was like, I gotta share that with the church. I think they'll laugh. So, Mom, I'll give that pink sweater to you in Jesus name. Everybody say, in Jesus name. It was like a command. If you sent that to me, you are my friend.

[Worship Leader]

Thank you so much.

[Pastor Paul]

All right. Genesis 32. So this is an interesting moment in Jacob's journey because he's been dealing with all kinds of trauma from his past, things that have kind of been following

[Worship Leader]

him for a long time.

[Pastor Paul]

At this point in Genesis 32, he's in his 90s, and he's no longer, you know, young Jacob, who's wrestling with insecurity and dealing with the battles of comparison with his brother. He's no longer the man on a search to find a wife.

[Worship Leader]

He.

[Pastor Paul]

He already got married to two women, and he's. He's now got four baby mamas. He's got 12. You know, he's got a lot of kids, and he's got a lot of baggage. He's got a lot of stuff, and it's all starting to catch up with him. At some point, your past will start to catch up with you. And so I almost named this. This sermon when your past catches up with you, but I felt like the word for someone here today, and I don't know who it is for, but I feel like it's for someone, is how to get past your past. If you', knows, just write this down, how to get past your past. And so I want to start in verse 7 of Genesis 32, in great fear. I think that's really interesting. And great.

[Worship Leader]

Everybody say, great fear. There's always a battle between the ears.

[Pastor Paul]

In great fear and distress, Jacob was overwhelmed. He had all kinds of thought bubbles, all kinds of fear and worry and anxiety, all tied to his past. All tied to his past. It's interesting, you know, I got all these balloons tied up. And no matter where you go, you can leave your past. You could try to run away from your past. You can, let's say some of y' all ran from another state or another country or another church or another marriage. You could run away from your past. And you could say, I let go of my past.

[Worship Leader]

But your past somehow still sticks around. Your past is still attached to you, right?

[Pastor Paul]

Your past kind of has all of

[Worship Leader]

this connection to you to where you

[Pastor Paul]

let go of it. You try to get rid of those thought bubbles. You try to get rid of all this stuff that had happened between you and your family members, you and Esau, you and the people that hurt you and your family. And you let it go.

[Worship Leader]

But somehow it's still around.

[Pastor Paul]

Somehow it's still attached. And so Jacob, with great fear and distress, he's ran away from his past. But his past is starting to come back. Everybody say it's coming back. And the reason he's so afraid and he starts dividing things is because. Go to verse eight. He thought.

[Worship Leader]

Everybody say he thought.

[Pastor Paul]

This is where a lot of us live. Right here is in our thoughts. We live in our heads. We live thinking about who's going to

[Worship Leader]

try to get revenge on us or

[Pastor Paul]

who we're gonna get revenge on that

[Worship Leader]

hurt our families, that hurt us.

[Pastor Paul]

And in his thoughts, it's like his thoughts are still drifting around. He says, if Esau comes, if the guy that I stole the birthright from the inheritance from, if my past shows back up, and if he attacks one group, then the group that is left may escape. So he's scheming still.

[Worship Leader]

He's still strategizing.

[Pastor Paul]

But in the middle of his thoughts of fear and anxiety and worry and shame from the past. And shame really does keep you attached to the past. In those thoughts, he prayed.

[Worship Leader]

Everybody say Jacob prayed.

[Pastor Paul]

This is the cure.

[Worship Leader]

This is the first step towards dealing with your past, is if you're thinking about Esau, take it to God.

[Pastor Paul]

If you're thinking about your past, take it to prayer. If your past is still haunting you, take it to the prayer spot, take it to the war room. So in that place of prayer, Jacob starts thinking about all the hurts, all the wounds, all the people that he's let down.

[Worship Leader]

And he says, oh, God. God of my father Abraham. God of my father Isaac.

[Pastor Paul]

Lord, you who said to me, go back. Every say, go back. See, you could run from your past, but eventually, at some point, you're going

[Worship Leader]

to have to face it. The only way to overcome your past is to face it.

[Pastor Paul]

So God says to Jacob, I want you to go back to the place you ran away from. I know you haven't been there in decades. I know you've tried to avoid it. I know you've tried to run from it. But there's something connected to your future blessing. There's something on the other side of facing your past that you will only receive if you face it. So go back. And Jacob says, you're the one that told me to go back. And you said that I would prosper if I just face my past. That there is some form of prosperity connected to dealing with my past. In other words, there's a healing, there's a wholeness I haven't seen yet. Isn't it crazy that Jacob's in his 90s and he still doesn't feel like he's whole yet? Doesn't matter how old you are, there's still things in your soul and your heart that God still wants to deal with. Even in your 90s, God's saying, Jacob, you got all the money in the world. You got all the donkeys and camels and goats and all the wives you could want, and you got all the children and you got all that stuff, but somehow there's still something. It's crazy. You can be blessed. But he says, I'm blessed. But I still.

[Worship Leader]

Everybody say, but, but I'm blessed.

[Pastor Paul]

But I'm blessed with a lot of stuff.

[Worship Leader]

But I still deal with my past,

[Pastor Paul]

but I still deal with this feeling of unworthiness. But I still worry about my past eventually catching up with me. I'm blessed. But here's the good news. You can bring your blessed butt to church. This is the best place to deal with your blessed. But because all of us in this room are blessed. You are blessed if you got breath in your lungs. Somebody say, I'm blessed, and we show our blessing at church. We don't always show our butt. And that's not a. That's not a bad thing. I'm not telling you to show your butt, but I'm saying we all have a. But we all have a Another part of this where it's like, man, God has been so faithful, he's been so good.

[Worship Leader]

But there is one person

[Pastor Paul]

that. If I had an opportunity to reconcile

[Worship Leader]

with this one person that left the

[Pastor Paul]

church, if I. I am so blessed. God, you've been so good, God.

[Worship Leader]

But if Esau was to show up,

[Pastor Paul]

everybody say, blessed but.

[Worship Leader]

So he says, save me, Lord. I'm praying to you.

[Pastor Paul]

Save me from the hand of my

[Worship Leader]

brother who's become an enemy. For I am afraid. I'm afraid I ran away from this. But it's all coming back to me now. Celine Dion. It's all coming back to me. It's all coming back to me now. I tried to let go of the nightmares. I tried to let go of what I thought my brother was going to do to me. But I just. No matter how blessed I get, I'm still consumed. I'm still consumed with Esau and shame and hurts. No matter how. How far I get away from it, it's still right there. It's still connected to me. And he's going to attack me. I know he is.

[Pastor Paul]

He's going to come for me. He's going to kill me. I just know my past is. At some point, I'm just going to.

[Worship Leader]

It's going to be. The last chapter of my life is pain. And so Jacob is consumed with it. And he says, but Every say, but.

[Pastor Paul]

So there's always a but in the middle of your fear.

[Worship Leader]

There's always a but that God has another plan.

[Pastor Paul]

You have one idea, you have one thought bubble of how things are going to end up in the end.

[Worship Leader]

But God always has a better plan.

[Pastor Paul]

I'm so thankful that there's a but God moment. God says, I will surely make you prosper. I will make your descendants like the sand of the sea. Which can't. In other words, Jacob was reminding himself, even though I'm afraid I'm going to end in defeat. You've promised. But you've promised me that things are going to get better. You've promised me that things are going to increase. You promised me. This is not the final scene. And so look, it says he spent the night there. And from what he had with him,

[Worship Leader]

he selected a gift for his brother Esau.

[Pastor Paul]

200 female goats. It starts listing all of this stuff. He starts going through all the things he's going to give his brother. He's trying to come up with a plan.

[Worship Leader]

He's like, if I give him enough stuff.

[Pastor Paul]

So he's got goats and he's got rams. And he's got camels, and he's got cows and bulls. And you could read it. It's dark donkeys, female donkeys and male donkeys and. And then servants. And he tells them, he says, go ahead of me in verse 16, keep some space between the herds. In verse 17, he says, when my brother Esau shows up and he asks, who. Who do all of this stuff belong to and where are you going? Tell them they belong to your servant, Jacob. Notice he doesn't even say, I'm your brother, Jacob. He's. He says, I'm your servant because he's been humbled. Jacob's been through a season of humiliation. He's been cheated by his own father in law, Laban. I mean, Jacob met his match with Laban. Jacob was a con man. Jacob knew how to prosper and to cheat people. And then Laban does to Jacob what

[Worship Leader]

Jacob had done to his own dad and to his brother.

[Pastor Paul]

Laban cheats Jacob. And in the midst of that, God is using the hurts and the wounds of other people. God didn't cause it, but God knows how to use it. Aren't you glad that God doesn't cause bad things? But he can use bad things but for your good. God is not the author of sickness, disease, or pain or mistreatment. But God sure knows how to draw you closer to him when you walk through painful seasons. See, God doesn't just use the beautiful things in life to make me more like him. God uses the ugly things in my life. God uses the painful things, the moments where I don't want to announce it, I don't want to talk about it. But God says, that's where I was

[Worship Leader]

doing my greatest surgery. That's where I was working on you the most.

[Pastor Paul]

So Jacob is no longer the brother, he's the servant. In fact, he sees himself almost as a slave. He's like, in Jacob's mind, he's like the prodigal. I mean, he stole the father's inheritance, he took the father's money, the blessing, and he ran far away from home. And he made some foolish decisions along the way. And now he's finally coming back. And in his mind, he's coming back. I'll be a slave, I'll be a servant. You don't have to look at me. I'll do whatever I can. And so he's sending his gifts. He's sending his gifts. He's doing whatever he can to pacify. And he says this. He says, send all these gifts and tell Esau, when you meet him the same thing that the others tell him. And go to the next verse. He says, be sure to tell him, your servant Jacob is coming. For he thought, every say he thought,

[Worship Leader]

I will pacify him with these gifts.

[Pastor Paul]

I will earn his grace, I will earn his forgiveness. I will earn his favor by sending as much stuff as I can to try to purchase his forgiveness. Isn't it crazy how the gospel in the New Testament is seen in the Old Testament? Through types and shadows, we see glimpses of what's about to happen in the New Testament. As we're watching the Old Testament, we're looking at. We're going, this sounds so familiar. This. This kind of reminds me of this story. Jesus talked about two brothers and a dad, and one took the inheritance and he squandered it. And he's trying to figure out a way. He's scheming for a way to find forgiveness.

[Worship Leader]

Perhaps go back, perhaps he will receive me. Perhaps he's thinking to himself, perhaps my past can forgive me. So Jacob's gifts went ahead of him, and he was separated from his gifts. You are not what you do and you are not what you own.

[Pastor Paul]

So often we hide behind our gifts. We hide behind titles and positions.

[Worship Leader]

We hide behind salaries and houses and cars.

[Pastor Paul]

And I'm married and I've got kids, and I'm this and I'm that. And at the end of the day, God says, you are not what you

[Worship Leader]

do, and you are not what's been done to you.

[Pastor Paul]

You are not what you make, and you are not what you own. And you can get all of those gifts and you can separate them from you, but you. Because that's where God says, I can only bless the real you, not the you with all the filters, not the you with the house and the car and the positions and the titles and the salary and the stuff and the suit and the tie. He wanted Jacob all alone. Look at this. Next, Next verse, verse 22. That night, Jacob got up and he took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven sons, and he crossed the fort of the Jabok. And the next verse, after he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all of his possessions. So he gets all of his stuff. His marriage, his kids, his gifts, his titles, his talents. All the hats have been taken off. So Jacob was left alone.

[Worship Leader]

This is where God does his best work. This is where God wrestles with you.

[Pastor Paul]

This is where God reminds you who

[Worship Leader]

you really are, that you are not what you do, you are not what

[Pastor Paul]

you've done, your identity is not based on your activity.

[Congregation Member]

You are not.

[Pastor Paul]

Your identity is not based on what Esau has said about you, or what Rachel says about you, or what Leah says about you, or what Reuben says about you, or what Judah. You are not, how many kids you have or the lack of kids.

[Worship Leader]

Your identity is in Christ.

[Pastor Paul]

Jacob was finally finding himself at 97 years old. He was finally going, so this is me.

[Worship Leader]

And he wrestled with him till daybreak.

[Pastor Paul]

Lord, I pray that you would speak

[Worship Leader]

to us this morning, God, that we would leave changed, refreshed, challenged, encouraged, reminded that we can have victory over the past in Jesus name. Everybody said, amen. Thank you so much. We'll go back into worship in just a little bit.

[Pastor Paul]

Let's talk about the past for a moment. And we're gonna get to your future. We're gonna get to where God has. But here's the truth in this story. All of us in this room have a past. And all of us have been hurt or have hurt somebody in our past. In fact, I wanna do something. If you've been hurt by somebody and in your past, would you stand up? I want everybody who's ever been hurt by a person to just stand. This might be everyone in the room. Now, for the other people, you're going to represent the second category. If you have hurt a person, would you stand up? If you are the Jacob in this story, I'm going to get 100% participation. If you're not standing for either of those, we just need to check your pulse for a second if you're alive. The truth is, we've all either been Jacob in the story or Esau. We've all been the offender or the offended. We've all been hurt by someone, betrayed by someone, but we've also been the person that has hurt and betrayed. And the moment you think you're only one guy in the story, you miss the point of the gospel. Because the truth is, all of us come to the cross on level ground. There is no person that stands at the cross higher than another person more worthy of the grace. You. You don't earn the grace of God. It's a free gift. And you have to see yourself in the story of Jacob not just as Esau, the one that got hurt and

[Worship Leader]

disappointed and betrayed, but you also have to see yourself as Jacob. And you go, why do I have to see that? Because sin separates us from God. And the Bible says, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

[Pastor Paul]

So the moment you say, I've never

[Worship Leader]

sinned, I've never hurt.

[Pastor Paul]

I've never offended anybody. You offended God. So I'm going to ask one more time. If you've ever hurt someone, stand up.

[Worship Leader]

Or if you've ever been hurt by someone, stand up.

[Pastor Paul]

I'm looking for 100% participation.

[Worship Leader]

All right, you can be seated. You can be seated. I won't make it too difficult. You're like, how long do we got to stand?

[Pastor Paul]

We're all a part of these two places where we've either been hurt in our past or we have hurt others

[Worship Leader]

in our past, which means that we need mercy and grace.

[Pastor Paul]

Bob Goff said, grace never sounds like a good idea until you're the one that needs it. Grace never sounds like an exciting thing to extend until you're the one that

[Worship Leader]

needs to receive it.

[Pastor Paul]

How many of you, all in this room, would be honest to say you

[Worship Leader]

need grace sometimes in your life?

[Pastor Paul]

Like, you don't always get it perfect? Yeah, most of us raised our hands. The rest of y', all, we got

[Worship Leader]

an altar call for liars in the room.

[Pastor Paul]

You could pretend like you're perfect, but we know you're not. You know, as we were talking about this last week, there was really three things that I said, is that God works with weak people. God works through weak people, and God

[Worship Leader]

is attracted to weakness.

[Pastor Paul]

That God, what we can see through Jacob's story is that God works with weak people. He works with people like Leah. He works with people like Jacob. He does work, even in Rachel. Rachel was beautiful on the outside, but she was barren on the inside. That was her weakness. Her weakness. She was blessed, but she was blessed with good looks on the outside, but she was barren on the inside. All of us have a but moment, and that's the place where God shows up. He says, I can work with your weakness.

[Worship Leader]

I work through weak people.

[Pastor Paul]

I'm so glad that God doesn't just work through perfect people. Strong people, functional families.

[Worship Leader]

Jacob's family was very dysfunctional, but God worked with them.

[Pastor Paul]

God is attracted to brokenness. God is more impressed with a broken spirit than a perfect spirit. Jacob had this illusion in his mind that once he married Rachel, it was going to fix everything in his past. When you get to Genesis 29, he was thinking, once I get married, my past will disappear. All my problems will disappear. And he had this. We'll call it the Rachel illusion. The Rachel illusion. We often believe that if we get a specific person in our life or achievement, once I get married, once I have kids, once I get this job, once I graduate college, once I can Drive a car. You know, once I have that, once I get a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever it is. It's this illusion that once I get

[Worship Leader]

this, my past will be fixed. But your past is still attached to you.

[Pastor Paul]

And then you wake up with the Leah reality.

[Worship Leader]

It's always Leah in the morning, right?

[Pastor Paul]

That when Jacob wakes up and realizes he was sleeping with a woman that wasn't Rachel and he's shocked that it was Leah. But then even after he marries Rachel, he's shocked that Rachel was not everything

[Worship Leader]

she was cracked up to be.

[Pastor Paul]

And we finally obtained what we wanted. But we realized it wasn't as great as we thought it was going to be. It didn't satisfy us like the way. And here's what it leads to. There's really four responses to this reality in our life. Number one, we start blaming the object. Tim Keller says this is like replacing idols with more idols. This is the fool's way. Maybe I need a better marriage. Maybe I need a better spouse. Maybe I need to marry another guy. Maybe I need to marry another girl. Maybe I need to get a different job. Maybe I need to leave this church. Maybe I need to do this or do that. And so we replace idols with more idols, thinking that the object is the problem. And then once we realize that those idols also disappoint us, those people also disappoint us, then we go to number two, we start blaming ourself. We fall into self hatred because you feel like a failure because you're not as happy as other people seem to be happy. So you're trying to find happiness in yourself. Maybe if I heal, maybe I can heal myself. By the way, you cannot heal you. You are the problem within you. The only one who can heal you is not you or another person. It's the great physician, the only one who can deal with the past in your life. The hurts, the wounds, the dysfunctions. So you can't read, you know, 20 self help books and find the healing for yourself and happiness and joy within yourself because the problem lies within you. And then we go to number three, we start blaming life itself. We become hardened to life and we go, you know what? I'm going to refuse to hope for anything. I'm not going to get my hopes up in a president or a girlfriend or boyfriend or a husband or a wife or kids. I'm not going to hope for healing. I'm not going to hope for prosperity. I'm not going to hope for. I'm not going to have any expectations. I won't have any Great expectations. I'm just going to expect everyone to hurt me and disappoint me, and it's going to be painful the rest of my life. So I might as well just become a cynic, a critic, and have a hardened heart, because everybody's going to let me down. And that, too, is a path of miserable living. Number four. This is the best way, is to accept the Christian way, realizing that your heart's true desire is for God and that earthly things are meant to point towards him rather than to satisfy you. There is nothing in this world that will ever satisfy me, which means that I am made for something that's bigger than this world. I have a hole the size of

[Worship Leader]

the Pacific Ocean in my heart.

[Pastor Paul]

And there's no person, place, or thing or drink or drug or job or money or like, whatever perks or titles or positions or achievements in life that will ever fill that hole the size of God. Only God can fill it. So I want to go to Genesis 30 because they're in this struggle to try to find the answer to their problems. And. And we left off last week where Leah birthed Judah. But in verse one of Genesis 30, it says, When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she comes to Jacob and she says, give me children or I'll die. Anytime you hear someone say, if I don't have this, I'm gonna die, it's an idol. Anytime you hear yourself, if I don't get married, I'm gonna die. If I don't have kids, I'm gonna die. If I don't get that job, if my kids don't get into that school, if my kids don't have a 4.0, if your happiness is attached to what happens with your kids or your spouse or even your money, I'm telling you, you're happy. Like you are setting yourself up for

[Worship Leader]

pain in the future.

[Pastor Paul]

Rachel was saying, if I have this. And then once she gets it, she's like, why did I ask for more kids?

[Worship Leader]

What's crazy is that Rachel dies from the very thing that she was crying out for. She dies from giving birth to the things she thought was going to give her life.

[Pastor Paul]

That's a while. It's a while. I mean, I'm not going to get into it today. But Rachel is saying, if I could just have. Fill in the blank. Leah is just. She's saying, if I could just have my husband's attention, then I would finally feel accepted and loved. Jacob is saying, if situations were better, I would finally have peace and God is saying, when are you going to look at me? Because I am the answer to all of your problems. Rachel and Leah and Jacob. And verse 13, so Rachel can't have kids. She starts telling Jacob, sleep with my maiden. Have kids with Bilhah. And then Leah realizes she can't have kids, and so she says, sleep with my servant Zilpah. So Jacob's sleeping. He's getting used back and forth by Zilpah and Bilhah and Leah and Ray. I mean, Jacob's just. It's crazy.

[Worship Leader]

That's the Bible right there.

[Pastor Paul]

And Leah says, after she gets another son through her maiden, she says how happy I am. In verse 30, 13. Now women will call me happy. If your happiness is attached to what people call you and what they say about you, you will never be happy. In verse 14, when the wheat harvest came, one of the kids, Reuben, was outside. And he was in the fields picking mandrake plants. As he was bringing these mandrakes to his mother, Leah, Rachel says, give me

[Worship Leader]

some of those mandrakes.

[Pastor Paul]

Now, mandrakes in this time were. Were. They were like an aphrodisiac. They were basically produced sexual arousal. Y' all should do a study on mandrakes, but not in church right? Now. Mandrakes actually made people aroused and fertile to have children. So when Rachel saw Reuben bringing mandrakes to Leah, she was like, give me

[Worship Leader]

some of those mandrakes. Come on.

[Pastor Paul]

These mandrakes, I mean, they had some sort of power to basically help produce children. And they were basically. They were used to create romantic, intimate encounters. We're going to sell mandrakes to all the married couples in the room that are believing for children in the bookstore. No. So Rachel, she's like, give me some of those mandrakes. She's trying to bargain for the mandrakes because she wants to have kids. And look at this. In verse 15, Leah says, Wasn't it enough that you stole my husband? Wasn't it enough that you took my man? He sleeps with me, but he's always looking at you. And now you're going to take the mandrakes. You're going to take the stuff that helps produce the. The only thing I got is those mandrakes. And Rachel says, he could sleep with

[Worship Leader]

you, but you gotta trade me your mandrakes.

[Pastor Paul]

And so Leah. This is so Sad. In verse 16, when Jacob comes home from work that evening, Leah goes out to meet him in the fields, and she says, you have to sleep with me. I hired you for my son's Mandrakes.

[Worship Leader]

And so he slept with her that night, y'.

[Pastor Paul]

All. The Bible is filled with wild moments, matings and mandrakes. It was all manipulation to steer the course of their lives to control a future that only God can truly secure.

[Worship Leader]

These women were playing games, trying to

[Pastor Paul]

control and manipulate their future. But God was working even through the

[Worship Leader]

flaws of these women.

[Pastor Paul]

God was birthing the twelve tribes of Israel through a bunch of manipulation. God can use the people that manipulated you, that used you, that hurt you. He could use it all for something good in your future. If God did it for Jacob and Joseph, he could do it for you. So don't get worried if you're in the workplace and you feel like, man, people are using you, people are doing things wrong by you. If you'll give it to God. Everybody say, give it to God. So God is working. And then it says in verse 22,

[Worship Leader]

God remembered Rachel and he listened to her and he enabled her to conceive.

[Pastor Paul]

And she became pregnant, gave birth to a son.

[Worship Leader]

And she said, God has taken away my disgrace. So she named him Joseph. 1 get into Joseph later on.

[Pastor Paul]

But Joseph really meant that God remembers.

[Worship Leader]

God remembers. That God's working in my life.

[Pastor Paul]

Something I see through the story of

[Worship Leader]

Jacob is a picture of salvation in

[Pastor Paul]

the New Testament when we put our faith in Jesus. By the way, did you know you are saved by grace? You are not saved by your works. God chose Jacob because God loved Jacob. God saved Abraham, Isaac and Jacob because God. It wasn't because their character was perfect.

[Worship Leader]

It was because his character was perfect.

[Pastor Paul]

God didn't save you because you had the perfect behavior. He didn't deliver you. He saved you by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Friends, our salvation doesn't come from us. It comes from Jesus. And there's three things I wanted to point out to you in the process of not just dealing with your past, but reminding yourself, I am saved, I'm being saved and I will be saved. There's really three tenses of salvation. Number one, the first part of salvation is justification. We see in Romans 5, verse 1 that we are justified by faith. When we put our hope in Jesus Christ, that we are made righteous in that moment, it is a one time event. You aren't justified 50 times throughout your Christian life. You are justified when you put your faith in Jesus. What does justification mean? It means we are saved from the penalty of sin. You and I deserve death, hell and the grave. But because we put our faith not in ourselves, but in Jesus Christ, we are justified. We are Made right with God. Number two, this leads to sanctification. This is ongoing. This is a constant process. In 1st Thessalonians 4, verse 3, it says your sanctification should cause you to abstain from fornication. In other words, there's this process of becoming more like Jesus where you stop sinning, you stop running to the old ways of life, you stop going back to the old habits. Sanctification means you are being made holy throughout your Christian life. As a mom and dad raising kids, we're watching our kids put their faith in Jesus and continue to live out this sanctification process, which requires discipline, correction,

[Worship Leader]

sometimes a spanking, you know, but there's

[Pastor Paul]

this, like, it's not that they've lost their salvation, just like you have not lost your salvation.

[Worship Leader]

It's just that you're being saved.

[Pastor Paul]

You are saved, and you're being saved by the grace of God. We're being saved from the power of sin. How many are thankful that God's not

[Worship Leader]

finished with you yet?

[Pastor Paul]

How many think you're a finished product and God's all done and you're just kind of living until you're dead? No, no, no. The truth is, we're all like the roads of Oklahoma. We're under construction until death do us part. As Christians, the moment we crawl off the altar and say, I'm finished, God's done working on my patience with my kids. God's done working on my attitude. God's done dealing with my thought life. No, no, no. If there's breath in your lungs, God's not done. That's sanctification, that you're still in the process of becoming more like Jesus. How many y' all are still in the process of becoming more like Jesus? So when we look at the story of Jacob, Lee and Rachel, we can go. They're chosen by God, but they are

[Worship Leader]

very flawed in their journey of learning how to trust in God. And the third part of salvation is glorification. This is the future hope we have

[Pastor Paul]

that God predestined us. Those who he called he predestined, he justified, and he has a glorified. There is a day where we will be transformed. No more sin, no more death, no more struggle, no more temptation, no more cancer, no more abuse, no more corruption, no more immorality. None of that. We will be saved from the presence of and that is our future hope. But in the meantime, we're in the middle. And when you're in the middle, you're dealing with stuff. You're dealing with things that still show up in your life, Things that you thought you left behind.

[Worship Leader]

People, places, things.

[Pastor Paul]

And so Jacob gets wealthier. And he tells his father in law, he says, I'm ready to leave. I've always been a man that's kind of on the run. Like, I don't stay anywhere too long, so I'm ready to go. Laban says, don't leave, stick around. Just help us. You've been causing us to prosper. And so Jacob says, I know I've actually made your business even more wealthier just sticking around. I've caused you to have more animals, more livestock, more cattle, more servants. You're hiring more people. I want to go and start my own company. I'm in my 70s now. Let me go do my own thing, dad. Right? He's telling his father in law, like, I want to start my thing. His father in law says, no, just,

[Worship Leader]

just stick around a little longer.

[Pastor Paul]

So he sticks around. Jacob kind of moves a little bit further away from Laban and he starts growing his flock. He gets prosperous. If you read the rest of Genesis 30, you could see he has all kinds of schemes and ideas to increase the strength of his flock.

[Worship Leader]

But ultimately, it's God that makes his business grow.

[Pastor Paul]

No matter what you do, you can think that it's all you that's growing your business. It is the hand of God on you. Who gave you that breath and that lung. Who gave you that brain, who gave you that gift. Since towns don't think that it all came from you. Jacob is starting to wonder. He's starting to think, man, I'm kind of a self made millionaire. I'm kind of a self made success story. But ultimately, if you read in Genesis 31, it says, God was the one who protected Jacob. God was the one who gave favor to Jacob. God was the one who caused the multiplication for Jacob. So Jacob finally starts to Notice In Genesis 31, things have shifted in the relationship. In verse one, Jacob hears Laban's sons saying, jacob has taken everything from our family. Jacob has gained all this wealth from what once belonged to us as a family. In verse two, Jacob noticed. This is interesting. He noticed that Laban's attitude toward him

[Worship Leader]

was not what it had been.

[Pastor Paul]

What do you do when you start to realize something's changed in this relationship? The attitude has shifted. And in that moment, God gives Jacob this green light.

[Worship Leader]

He says, you can go, but you're going to go back.

[Pastor Paul]

You're not going to a brand new place. You can run, Jacob, but you can't hide forever. You're going to go back to the

[Worship Leader]

stuff you left behind, because that's where your healing is going to happen. It's going to happen in your hometown. So Jacob sent word to Rachel and to Leah. He says it's time to start going back. We're gonna get out of here. We're gonna leave. We're gonna leave this past to go back to another past that I left behind. And so in this moment, he leaves in the middle of the night. But watch this.

[Pastor Paul]

Rachel sneaks in and steals. In verse 19, Laban realizes Rachel had stolen.

[Worship Leader]

Someone had stolen the household idols to

[Pastor Paul]

take with Jacob on the journey when Jacob didn't know this, but Rachel had

[Worship Leader]

these idols that she had grown up

[Pastor Paul]

with, and these idols represented comforts from her past. So Rako, not Raykob. Rachel took Jacob. Rachel took Laban's idols with her. This is crazy. She's running away from her past, but she's still attached to it. She's still holding onto idols from her father's household. She's in a new marriage, but she still has the contacts of the old boyfriends. She still. Just in case things with Jacob don't work out, just in case this doesn't. That way I could just. I have a backup plan to call my ex, to call the guy that makes me feel comfortable and just the convenience to have those numbers in my phone and those direct messages. See, she wasn't ready to fully cut

[Worship Leader]

ties, and so she was still tied. She was still tied up.

[Pastor Paul]

You can leave your past, but you're

[Worship Leader]

still attached to certain things. This is why it's so important to cut ties, soul ties, these hidden idols.

[Pastor Paul]

By the way, any idol that you could put in a satchel, you know, she put these idols in a little satchel, and then she stuck it under her blessed butt between her bottom and the camel. And as she was riding off with Jacob, she was blessed. But she had idols under her. Any idol that you can sit on is no God at all.

[Worship Leader]

It's a false God.

[Pastor Paul]

There's only one true God. And so watch this. Laban catches up, and your past always catches up with you. Laban catches up, and he finds them on the way. He finds them in the middle of their escape. In Genesis 31, Laban pursues Jacob. And this is so interesting right here in verse. Let's go to verse 27.

[Worship Leader]

He says, why did you run away from me secretly? Why did you deceive me?

[Pastor Paul]

Why didn't you tell me? I could have sent you off with singing and music and joy. You didn't even let me kiss my grandchildren goodbye. You've done a foolish thing, Jacob.

[Worship Leader]

Jacob was running. Jacob was always running. He's always running.

[Pastor Paul]

Because it wasn't even that Jacob wanted to get revenge on Laban. Laban had done some bad things, but Jacob just wanted to get out. And it says in verse 31, he

[Worship Leader]

says, I was afraid because I fought. Where are your thoughts at this morning? Who are you thinking about? Who is your Esau?

[Pastor Paul]

Who is the person in your life that sometimes just lives in your head rent free? They're not even paying rent, and you think about them way too much. Who is that person that you go, I honestly am okay if I don't

[Worship Leader]

see them on this side of heaven.

[Pastor Paul]

I'll see him one day, and maybe it's okay if I don't see him in heaven. Some of you are, if you're honest. You're like,

[Worship Leader]

and yet they're still here.

[Pastor Paul]

They're closer than you realize.

[Worship Leader]

Laban says your wife took the household gods, the household idols. What are the idols that you're still holding onto? Who are you hiding in your mind? Who or what is still living in your heart? That God says, we need to deal with this. We need to deal with this. So Jacob actually sets up a stone, a Covenant.

[Pastor Paul]

In verse 45 of Genesis 31, he

[Worship Leader]

says, Listen, you and I need to have a contract in our relationship. We need to have a covenant, we

[Pastor Paul]

need to get some stones, and we're going to make this a place where you and I have worked through and we have had the uncomfortable, confrontational conversation of what it looks like to reconcile

[Worship Leader]

but to not stay together.

[Pastor Paul]

You know, you can reconcile with someone,

[Worship Leader]

but you don't have to keep living with them.

[Pastor Paul]

Jacob says, I wanna make things right

[Worship Leader]

with you, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna live with you the rest of my life. So they make this covenant where there's forgiveness, there's reconciliation, and there's a parting of ways. And Laban says, this is a witness between you and me today. And it was called Galid. It was also called Mizpah because he said, may the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. And so they part ways, and Jacob keeps moving towards esau.

[Pastor Paul]

In verse 1 of Genesis 32, Jacob also was on his way while he was headed back to his hometown. He's going to face his past, the angels of God meet Jacob. You know what's crazy is that everywhere

[Worship Leader]

Jacob runs, God runs after Jacob. Man, I'm so thankful that God runs after me.

[Pastor Paul]

I'm so thankful that I serve a God whose love is not conditional. It's not based on how good I perform, how awesome I am, how nice I dress. If I have a pink sweater on that should go to my mom, or if I got a suit and tie and I look just like my dad, God's love for me never changes. God's love is not based on my goodness.

[Worship Leader]

It's based on his goodness.

[Pastor Paul]

And so God chases Jacob down while Jacob's running, while Jacob's dealing with all the fear and all the anxiety, and Esau's getting closer, and his past is getting closer, and it's all starting to catch up with him. God meets him because God knows Jacob

[Worship Leader]

is way too paranoid to face what's about to happen here.

[Pastor Paul]

And so when Jacob sees him, I want the band to come out.

[Worship Leader]

He says, this is the camp of God. So he named the place Mahanaim. And Jacob sent the messengers ahead of him. He said, take these gifts. Take these gifts. Go in front of me.

[Pastor Paul]

Go. Go towards Esau.

[Worship Leader]

When you see Esau, just try to

[Pastor Paul]

slow him down from coming towards me. Try to pacify him with more gifts and more gifts. And when he sees my achievements. We were talking with our staff this last week, and I said, what in the message stood out to you and one of our amazing team members? He said, when you were talking about how there are things we try to do to win the approval of certain

[Worship Leader]

people, people who are committed to never really approving of us, that maybe this time. Leah said, maybe this time they'll accept me.

[Pastor Paul]

And one of our team members said, you know, there's this thought of, maybe

[Worship Leader]

now that I'm a pastor, my family will finally see that I'm worthy, that I'm not who I used to be. Maybe now that I'm sober, my family will finally see that I'm not the addict that they call me. Maybe now that I have a girlfriend, my family will finally stop saying the things they've said to me since I was little.

[Pastor Paul]

Maybe now that I'm married, my family

[Worship Leader]

will finally call me good enough.

[Pastor Paul]

Maybe now that I have kids, I will finally stop.

[Worship Leader]

And anytime we're connected to people who are never gonna.

[Pastor Paul]

I mean, Jesus realized this with the Pharisees, there were people Jesus could impress.

[Worship Leader]

Everybody except for the Pharisees. And Jesus realized he's like, you are committed to seeing the worst in me. You are committed to never actually loving me. And sinners loved Jesus, but the religious people hated Jesus.

[Pastor Paul]

They just couldn't they were. There was some form of jealousy, just weird vibes between the Pharisees.

[Worship Leader]

Ultimately, I think it was their jealousy that led to their scheming to try to crucify him.

[Pastor Paul]

But here we find Jacob, and he's kind of been living in this mindset of, at some point, I'm going to find peace. If Esau sees that I've achieved some

[Worship Leader]

stuff and I've earned some stuff, and I've got.

[Pastor Paul]

I've got children and I've got a marriage and I've got wealth and I've got donkeys and camels, and I'm a multi, multi, multi millionaire. Now I'm finally going to prove to Esau that even though I did some things I shouldn't have done, that maybe it was worth it and maybe he will forgive me and maybe if I give him enough gifts. And so that night, Jacob wrestles with God. And it says that when Jacob was wrestling with God alone in that moment, that the socket of Jacob's hip was wrenched so that his hip was out

[Worship Leader]

of place as he wrestled with the man.

[Pastor Paul]

See, God allows things in our life that bring us to a place of dependence on him. God allows us to get to a place of humility.

[Worship Leader]

God is attracted to weakness and humility.

[Pastor Paul]

David said in Psalm 51, it's not. It's not just, you know, outward praise that you desire.

[Worship Leader]

It's a broken and contrite spirit. It's this broken heart that says, God, in my limp, I find grace in you, in my weakness, your strength is made perfect.

[Pastor Paul]

I heard one pastor say, I don't

[Worship Leader]

trust anybody without a limp

[Pastor Paul]

because they

[Worship Leader]

haven't walked through enough stuff to realize they need grace and they need to give grace.

[Pastor Paul]

There was something about this limp that

[Worship Leader]

was causing Jacob to lean on God and to lean so much that he wouldn't let go.

[Pastor Paul]

And the man said, let go.

[Worship Leader]

Let go. Jacob says, I won't let go until you bless me. And the man says, what is your name? And I'm thinking Jacob's hearing his dad say that, because in Genesis 27, when he deceived his dad, his dad said, what is your name? Who are you? And Jacob said, I'm Esau. And he said, you don't sound like Esau. And he said, I'm Esau. And he was wearing a covering of skin and hair that wasn't his. But this time, Jacob said, it's me. It's me. Jacob was finally telling God, this is who I am.

[Pastor Paul]

I'm chosen.

[Worship Leader]

But I don't always feel chosen. I'm blessed, but sometimes I still feel broken.

[Pastor Paul]

Who is that person that you go, yeah, I'm good. Like, I'm okay if I never see

[Worship Leader]

them again on this side of heaven.

[Pastor Paul]

And you're like, maybe not even in heaven. You're like, I'm okay if they go to hell.

[Worship Leader]

Let's be honest. There are some people you have written off, and God goes, can my grace reach them, too? If my grace reached this guy in the baptism tank, can my grace not reach your dad that abused you? You go, no, no, no, Paul, that's not fair.

[Pastor Paul]

How in the world is God's grace going to reach a man that was a monster?

[Worship Leader]

Who is Esau for you?

[Pastor Paul]

And if you're Esau in the room, who is Jacob?

[Worship Leader]

Who's the person that stole something that was yours?

[Pastor Paul]

We've been following Jacob's journey this whole time, but what we don't see is Esau's journey. And we're about to find out that the same God that was working on

[Worship Leader]

Jacob was working on Esau, but we didn't see it. What if God's working on the person that you need to reconcile with just as much as he's working on you? What if today, somewhere in another part of the world, God took that person

[Pastor Paul]

that you've not talked to, that ghosted

[Worship Leader]

you 20 years ago, that you ghosted

[Pastor Paul]

the estranged relationship with? What if God is working in them

[Worship Leader]

right now as we speak? And you go, that's not possible, Paul. They're in the grave. Then why are you still holding on to it? I feel like God is wanting to prepare hearts for reconciliation. There was a guy who came down to the altar in the last service, and he was down at the altar as I was praying for people. And he was saying, I hate you, Dad.

[Congregation Member]

I hate you, Dad.

[Pastor Paul]

I hate you, Dad. I hate you, dad. But I forgive you.

[Congregation Member]

I forgive you, Dad. I forgive you, dad.

[Pastor Paul]

And I was talking to the person who was praying for him.

[Worship Leader]

I said, what was that all about? He said, his dad's dead, and he was having his moment at this altar forgiving someone that on this side of heaven, he may never. He can't have an opportunity to reconcile. And he was getting it out. And in his hurt and anger, he finally was saying, I forgive you. I forgive you. I think Jacob was having a hard time forgiving himself. God was watching Jacob as he was journeying. And Jacob was like, man, I'm afraid I still deal with anxiety.

[Pastor Paul]

And Esau's getting closer.

[Worship Leader]

I can feel him. Feels like he's just a mile away. And my past is catching up with me. And the people that I'm afraid are going to hurt me and sue me

[Pastor Paul]

and come after me. I just feel it. They're just waiting to get their hands on me, their claws on me. God, I'm going under. This is me. I'm Jacob. I am Jacob. With all my flaws and all my thought bubbles and all my pain and all my shame and all my struggles.

[Worship Leader]

This is where I live. This is what's going on in my mind. There's so many things that consume me. Not just Esau, but my dad's disapproval of me. My mom telling me that I gotta act like my brother to be good enough. The hurts and the wounds that exist between my wives and my kids and my family. And the fear and the anxiety. I can't sleep at night. I've got insomnia. I just keep thinking about Esau wanting to kill me. And when God sees Jacob owning who he is, God says, you will no longer be called Jacob. What was God doing? God was popping all the thought bubbles that were in Jacob's mind. Daniel, you got a needle. This is what was happening.

[Pastor Paul]

See, Jacob had been living with all

[Worship Leader]

kinds of stuff that was consuming him. And God was saying, that's not you. I know that's what you've walked through, but that's not you. I know that's what your parents called you, but that's not you. You are no longer the deceiver. You are no longer the cheater.

[Pastor Paul]

You are no longer the con man. You are no longer ashamed. Jacob, you are Israel because you have

[Worship Leader]

struggled with God and with humans, and you have overcome.

[Pastor Paul]

So in that moment, Jacob's name is changed and he has this encounter with God. And he names that place Penile. It's the place where he meets with God and he has this beautiful moment with God. And he's got a new name.

[Worship Leader]

And

[Pastor Paul]

he goes into Genesis 33, and he's still got these feelings of sadness because he's like, now I gotta face it. My past is finally here. In Genesis 33, right after this wrestling match, he looks up.

[Worship Leader]

In verse one, it says, there was Esau. Everybody say, there was Esau. His past was finally catching up with him. I need someone to be Esau. Over there. Jim hall, will you be Esau? Jim, stand up, but don't come towards me yet. Keep your distance. Esau, I'm not ready to meet you yet.

[Pastor Paul]

This is Jim. He serves as an usher. He's a great, mighty man of God.

[Worship Leader]

And so Jacob looks up and he sees Esau coming. And Esau's got 400 soldiers. The whole section is with Esau over there.

[Pastor Paul]

And so Jacob divides the children up among Leah, Rachel, and the two female servants. He put the female servants and their children in front. Then he puts Leah. How sad is it that he puts Leah in front of Rachel? He's like, maybe the ugly one will get killed first. And then, I mean, Jacob is still dealing with dysfunctions, Okay? I mean, he puts Leah out in front. He's like, rachel, you go last with Joseph. You could just see that the favoritism of Jacob here. He's saved, but he's still being sanctified. How many y' all are saved, but you're still being sanctified?

[Worship Leader]

Sanctified.

[Pastor Paul]

Don't judge Jacob. Some of you have a little bit of that still that you're growing in. And as he's looking, he starts humbling himself.

[Worship Leader]

He bows down to the ground seven times. He's coming near his brother.

[Pastor Paul]

I just think about this prodigal son

[Worship Leader]

that Jesus talks about, this prodigal brother that's been away for a while. And he's just so humbled.

[Pastor Paul]

He's so discouraged. Just like a dog with his tail between his legs, just ashamed of himself.

[Worship Leader]

But when he looks up, Esau's not staring at him with arms crossed. The Bible says in verse four, but Esau ran.

[Pastor Paul]

Jim, I don't know if you feel

[Worship Leader]

like running this morning, but would you just take a run towards me? He runs towards Jacob,

[Pastor Paul]

and he embraces Jacob, and he holds Jacob, Jacob. And Jacob's saying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a failure. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

[Worship Leader]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The Bible says that Esau embraced him. And we won't act out the whole skit here because.

[Pastor Paul]

Give Jim a big hand. Thank you, Jim.

[Worship Leader]

He threw his arms around him and they wept. And Esau said, who are. Who are these people with you? Jacob said, these are my children. These are the gifts God graciously gave me. Liam, Benaiah, Mack, Ellie, Gianna, Reuben. Yeah, Joseph. He starts naming the kids. His brother never saw this part of his journey. I think Jacob, in his mind, was expecting Esau to punch him in the face, maybe to pull out a sword, to just kill him. The thing he was afraid to meet was running to embrace him. The thing he was fearing, the paranoia was waiting to embrace him with grace and this is the gospel, that when you feel like you don't deserve the mercy and the grace of God, he's running down the road. The only way to get past your past is to face your past with a prayer. Oh, God, save me.

[Pastor Paul]

The beautiful thing is that Jacob and Esau have this moment of reconciliation. And Jacob says, here's gifts. Here's more gifts. And Esau says, I don't need your gifts.

[Worship Leader]

I have plenty. You don't have to pay me for this mercy.

[Pastor Paul]

You don't have to pay me, Jacob.

[Worship Leader]

I've already forgiven you. The debt has already been paid. The debt has already been paid.

[Pastor Paul]

He says, keep what you have. In verse nine, he says, I have plenty, my brother. God's turning enemies into brothers. God's turning the people that you never thought you would reconcile with to a point of reconciliation. After this moment, they don't move in and become best friends and live the next 30 years together. This moment of recon, and this is the story of reconciliation for some of us, is that God will provide an opportunity to reconcile. And it may not mean that things

[Worship Leader]

go back to way they used to be, but it means you can move forward towards heaven knowing that you've done your part to forgive and apologize.

[Pastor Paul]

Would you stand your feet all over this place?

[Worship Leader]

Who is your Esau? Who is your Jacob?

[Pastor Paul]

Someone in the room?

[Worship Leader]

You are Esau. You have been wronged by a brother. You have been wronged by a father, maybe someone who's already died. They've already gone to heaven, but you still hold them in your mind. The thought bubbles still exist. The balloons are still right there.

[Pastor Paul]

Maybe they're 100ft away.

[Worship Leader]

But this morning they got closer. You started pulling that string down, going, ah, I haven't thought about that guy in a long time. Haven't thought about that family in a long time. Haven't thought about those people.

[Pastor Paul]

And if you would just pause, I promise I'll dismiss it. Just a few minutes.

[Worship Leader]

This is the most important moment of the service. This is the altar.

[Pastor Paul]

If you're here right now with heads

[Worship Leader]

bowed, eyes closed, and there is someone in your life that if God was

[Pastor Paul]

to

[Worship Leader]

open a door. For any kind of reconciliation, and you go, pa, I don't know. I don't know about that. But what if the Holy Spirit was saying, would you at least extend mercy and grace for the area where you need mercy and grace? Because the seeds we sow today will produce a harvest we reap tomorrow. And if we sow seeds of judgment, hatred, bitterness, a grudge, there will Come a day where you will be on the other side of either Esau, There will come a day where you will be on the other side of the Father as the prodigal brother saying, God, would you forgive me? God, would you give me mercy? In this moment I just hear the Lord saying, I'm preparing hearts for reconciliation. I'm preparing hearts for reconciliation. We see the, the, the, the side of Jacob's story, but we didn't see the side of Esau.

[Pastor Paul]

We didn't.

[Worship Leader]

As we were reading Genesis 20, 29,

[Pastor Paul]

30, 31, 32, we weren't reading about

[Worship Leader]

Esau, we were reading about Jacob.

[Pastor Paul]

My question is, what was going on in esau for those 20 plus years

[Worship Leader]

that he hadn't seen his brother? What was going on in Esau?

[Pastor Paul]

What we do know is that when

[Worship Leader]

Esau met Jacob with grace, we know God must have been working behind the scenes.

[Pastor Paul]

God is working behind the scenes in people that you have no clue. God is sending people across cross their path. God is connecting dots that you can't see. We are never in control of other people's lives. But God has a way of getting to other people. And if you will pray every time you think about Esau, pray every time you think about someone or something, every time you think about the past, take it to prayer with every head bowed, every eye closed. I, I feel like the Holy Spirit is really ministering to someone right now. And maybe this message was for one man or one woman, but you're here right now and you go, God, I

[Worship Leader]

really want to believe for mercy and grace and reconciliation in some family members,

[Pastor Paul]

some son, some daughter, some mother, some

[Worship Leader]

father, some uncle, aunt, brother, sister, grandson,

[Pastor Paul]

granddaughter, grandfather, grandmother, an old business partner, someone that used to be connected to you, an old friend. And you're going, God, I just need to release this to you. I just need to give this to you. To you. With heads bowed and eyes closed. If this word was speaking to you specifically in some, some situation, some area, some relationship, I want you to just raise your hand. Today is a day to just give it to God, to just surrender it to God. All over the stream, hands going up from the front to the back. You're saying there's some relationships, some people, some things that I just need to give it to God. I need God to pop some thought bubbles, some fear, some anxiety, some shame, some worry, some grudges, some anger, some hurt that I've been holding on to. If that's you, just raise your hand. Today is your day to receive it and release it. Secondly, you're here and you say, paul,

[Worship Leader]

I need to get right with Jesus.

[Pastor Paul]

I need to repent of my sins and surrender to him.

[Worship Leader]

If that's you, lift your hand up.

[Pastor Paul]

Today is the day of salvation.

[Worship Leader]

Today is the day of forgiveness.

[Pastor Paul]

If you raise your hand for either of those, or you just need prayer,

[Worship Leader]

would you leave your seat?

[Pastor Paul]

Come and join me at this altar. Come on. Today is a great day to take a bold step towards this altar. To say, God, I surrender this young man. God, I surrender this father. God, I surrender my. My mother. God, I surrender my daughter. Lord, I surrender my son. God, I surrender my daughter in law. God, I surrender my mother in law. Lord, I surrender the people that hurt me, the people that betrayed me. Lord, I surrender Esau. Lord, I surrender Jacob. Lord, I surrender the person that hurt me. Lord, I surrender the feelings of fear and anxiety and shame and worry about my past. And God, I give it to you. Let's just worship for a few minutes. Just give it to the Lord as you come to the altar. All across this room. Let's just allow God to minister to our hearts. Jesus. Grace in Jesus name. Grace in Jesus name.

[Worship Leader]

Peace in Jesus name that passes all understanding.

[Pastor Paul]

It's only by the blood. Blood. It's only by the blood. It's only by the blood. Only the blood of Jesus.

[Worship Leader]

Jesus,

[Pastor Paul]

I pray for your mercy, your grace, your forgiveness. Lord, we release who we need to release. And we receive the forgiveness that we need to receive. Lord, I pray that you would prepare hearts for reconciliation.

[Congregation Member]

Let me tell you, it's only by the blood. Does anybody want to be holy and righteous, purified and silence? Let me tell you, it's only my. The blood. Does anybody want to be worthy? Forgive just if I really live. Let me tell you, it's only by the blood. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. I know it was the blood. It could have only been the blood.

[Pastor Paul]

Grace. Grace. Grace. Mercy. Lord, I thank you that you run towards us, that you embrace us.

[Congregation Member]

God.

[Pastor Paul]

Lord, I thank you, God, that you accept us. Lord. You hold us, you carry us. God, you never leave us nor forsake us. You pursue us even when we're running. God, I thank you that you never

[Worship Leader]

give up on Jacob.

[Pastor Paul]

You never give up on Jacob. God, I thank you, Lord, that today you are writing a fresh story of forgiveness. You are writing a fresh story of mercy. I pray, God, that today, someone who's been attached to the past, someone who has been paranoid by the past, that today you are cutting ties in areas, God, where there has been anxiety, where there's been fear, where there's been sin, where there's been attachment to old wounds, old relationships, things God, that just need to be Lord, moved on. And I pray in Jesus name that you would provide opportunities, God, on this side of heaven where it's possible for reconciliation. And I pray in Jesus name God, that you would prepare our hearts not only to forgive, but to receive forgiveness. And God to extend your mercy. God, that we would be ministers of reconciliation. God, I thank you in Jesus name, Lord, that your face is turned towards your church. God that you bless our coming and our going going. You bless God as we are leaving today. I thank you, God, that you bless us on the way out. I pray in Jesus name, God, that we would walk in a greater level of wholeness, healing. God, I thank you just as you changed Jacob's name to Israel. God, that you change our hearts, God, from stony hearts, hearts that are cold, hearts that are hardened and broken God, to healed hearts. God, I thank you, Lord Jesus, that you are our Savior. Just pray this with me. Say Jesus, I surrender to you.

[Worship Leader]

Have your way in my life. Thank you Jesus, that you paid the price for my sin. I am forgiven, I repent and I receive your mercy. I receive your grace and I release your grace towards those who have hurt me. Jesus, I thank you that my past is covered by the blood of Jesus. I thank you that my future, my best days are still in front of me. Because you're not finished with me yet. In Jesus name, amen.

[Pastor Paul]

And Amen. Come on, give God praise. I love you. God loves you. Be blessed.