David Searches For His Manhood

Summary

VIEWS with David Dobrik & Jason Nash

Episode: "David Searches For His Manhood"

Release Date: October 24, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of VIEWS sees David Dobrik and Jason Nash, joined by Natalie and Alex, diving into wild stories, viral rumors, confessions, and big laughs. The main theme sees David confronting a long-standing (and absurd) rumor involving explicit internet speculation, plus a surprisingly vulnerable exploration of mistakes, growth, and what it means to be “a man.” Along the way, the hosts discuss gambling gone wrong, weird dreams, pop culture, and their ever-chaotic yet intimate friendship dynamic.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. David vs The “Ass Eating” Rumor

Timestamp: 01:00 – 06:39

• David addresses the Internet rumor started by adult star Sky Bri, who (according to a viral lie detector video) claimed she’d “eaten David Dobrik’s ass.”
• David explains the misunderstanding:
  • Sky posted a video of her with a different person in an elevator, but the man resembled David.
  • Sky needed to name someone when the real identity couldn’t be shared — so she jokingly picked David, which fueled years of speculation online.
  • “For the last four or five years, people have thought I was in the elevator.” (03:03, David)
• David recounts DMing Sky to clear the air and her playing along (even “turning on” the fireplace for comic effect when David visited, quickly turned off when she saw Natalie was with him).
• The hosts joke about recognizing performance and “method acting” in the whole bit.
• Jason: “Did you think it was funny or was there part of you like, wait, that didn’t happen?” (05:29)
• David: “I’ll play it cool with everybody — like, fuck yeah, it is.” (06:03)
• The segment ends with reflections about secrets, mythmaking in public life, and some classic Dobrik overthinking.

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2. Secrets, Power, and Presidents

Timestamp: 06:44 – 08:09

• The group speculates on how many big secrets people keep, referencing presidents.
• Jason mentions: “No one will ever know what the president knows. Remember Obama?” (07:20)
• They riff on conspiracy theories, “Book of Secrets,” and debate Nicolas Cage movies.

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3. Pop Culture & Inside Jokes

Timestamp: 08:10 – 09:59

• David shares a TikTok joke about alternate universes, riffing off the titles ‘Us’ (Jordan Peele) and ‘Wii’ (Nintendo):
  • “When you travel to an alternate universe where Jordan Peele didn’t direct a movie in 2019 and Nintendo didn’t release a console in 2006… Stop. There is no us. There is no we.” (09:15, TikTok joke)
• Jason finds it corny; David thinks it’s peak “2025 humor.”

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4. Craziest Casino Losses – The Terry Watanabe Story

Timestamp: 10:53 – 14:29

• David recounts the insane true story of Terry Watanabe, who lost $350 million gambling in Vegas over 2.5 years — making up almost 6% of Caesar’s Palace revenue one year.
• They play a TikTok explaining Watanabe’s downfall: from toy company mogul to bankrupt, suing casinos, and ending up without funds for cancer treatment.
• Reflection on the modern ease of massive financial loss and how, “They’ll never let someone lose that much again.” (11:34, David)

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5. David’s Personal Gambling Disaster

Timestamp: 15:37 – 22:40

• David confesses his own online gambling meltdown:
  • Built up account over months, lost over $275,000 in 15 minutes.
  • Natalie corrects his memory on the amount (after he tries to say “100 grand”): “Oh, yeah. It’s $275.” (19:22, Natalie)
  • “John is probably the worst person to sit next to while you're gambling…” (16:29, David)
  • Describes the emotional aftermath, deep stress, and how his “dead ass” rule helps him self-limit (i.e., when he says “dead ass,” he has to actually stop).
• Natalie: “When you told all of us the next day you were like presenting it like you murdered somebody.” (18:40)
• They joke about how much more it would’ve been worth if he hadn’t lost it in Bitcoin.

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6. Sports – The Shohei Ohtani Segment

Timestamp: 22:40 – 24:47

• Alex tries to explain Ohtani’s dual-threat baseball stardom (hitting three home runs and pitching a shutout in the same game) and why it’s unprecedented in modern pro sports.
• David jokes about men on TikTok always thinking they could do it themselves.
• Jason: “Pitchers just don’t hit. How frequently is a hitter a pitcher? Never.” (23:36 – Alex and Jason)

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7. Church Memories, Adolescence, and Embarrassment

Timestamp: 25:08 – 28:41

• David and the group share funny, awkward church stories.
• Jason tells an anecdote about accidentally taking communion as a non-Christian: “It’s just a cracker, bro.” (27:45, Jason)
• Natalie comments feeling left out for not being baptized.

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8. Aging, Manhood, & The Search for Identity

Timestamp: 30:07 – 38:23

• Running theme: Is David finally “a man”?
• Natalie: “Even though it’s like hard, you are a man right now. You were a little boy…” (30:17, Natalie)
• Jason reflects on how men “come into themselves” in their 30s.
• David doubts his adultness, worrying if people sense his manhood in handshakes; feels like a “shapeshifter” between boy and adult.
• Standout quote: “Would they feel like they’re shaking a little boy’s hand or like, oh, this guy’s a man?” (31:10, David)
• Discussion of moments when David had to “turn on” his adult persona — especially around celebrities like Leo DiCaprio.

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9. Natalie’s “Wet” Joke & Sexual Dynamics

Timestamp: 33:32 – 36:39

• The group recalls Natalie making raunchy, playful jokes (e.g., “All three of you could run a train on me right now” in an RV).
• They debate whether these in-group jokes work, their comfort levels, and Natalie’s role as the only woman present.
• Jason and David laugh about classic guy-girl friend energy.
• David teases: “Deadass. Are you wet right now?” — becomes a running bit.

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10. Dreams, Sleep Paralysis, and Sentimentality

Timestamp: 38:26 – 45:47

• Natalie shares a “sleep paralysis” dream (which the guys, laughingly, claim is just a regular anxiety dream).
• David recounts a reoccurring dream: selling his beloved house for a massive profit but feeling deep regret watching others live in it.
  • “I am in fucking tears looking across the hill at this house and seeing other people enjoy it… and my accountant is calling me, like, just wait four or five years, maybe they’ll move out…” (41:39, David)
• Jason analyzes the dream (“You just love this house so much”), connecting it to David’s sentimental attachment and fear of letting go, but David resists deeper meaning.
• Memories of the California wildfires and protecting the house: “This is my home. Yeah. I own, like, I own this home. I pay for. And I love it to death.” (45:22, David)

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11. Therapy & Friendship

Timestamp: 45:57 – 46:29

• David jokes (again) about getting too close to his therapist, with Natalie teasingly accusing him of crossing boundaries:
  • “You like fucking became her best friend. I’m like, that is not what’s supposed to be happening here.” (46:13, Natalie)

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12. Funny Finale: Who Would Win – Tom Brady vs LeBron James?

Timestamp: 46:33 – 47:11

• Jason poses: Who wins in a boxing match, Tom Brady or LeBron James?
• Universal consensus: LeBron, for sheer size, strength and age advantage.
• Jason wants to believe Tom would “find a way to win,” but the others think it’s not even close.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• David: “All I would envision [in church] is a shooter walking in…and me flying through the pews, literally like a superhero and blocking the bullets from hitting the priest.” (26:44)
• Natalie (correcting David's gambling story): “Oh yeah, it’s $275.” (19:22)
• Jason (on manhood): "Sometimes you’re manly and sometimes you're like a salamander." (30:39)
• David (on growing up): “I just feel like if I was to shake someone’s hand... would they feel like they're shaking a little boy’s hand or... this guy's a man?” (31:10)
• Natalie: “He like, fought the man from coming out of him.” (31:23, on David's shifting maturity)
• Classic exchange (on TikTok humor):
  • David: “That to me is like 2025 humor.” (09:42)
  • Jason: “If I worked in an office with you… I would fucking ask to move desks.” (10:30)

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Thematic Takeaways

• Rumor vs Reality: The challenge and absurdity of dealing with viral misinformation (“ass eating” story).
• Growing Up in Public: David’s struggle with growing into adulthood while documented by the Internet.
• Gambling and Impulse: Raw confessions about loss, addiction, and learning hard lessons.
• Friendship Dynamics: An open look at in-group roles, playfulness, boundaries, and emotional support.
• Sentimentality: The value of home, stability, and places that become a part of one’s identity.

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Episode Flow & Listening Guide

| Segment | Start Time | Key Moments | |--------------------------------------|:--------------:|:-------------------------------------------| | Viral Sky Bri Rumor | 01:00 | Clarifying the infamous rumor | | Secrets, Presidents & Nic Cage | 06:44 | Joking about secrets and movies | | TikTok/Pop Culture Humor | 08:10 | Inside jokes and generational disconnect | | Terry Watanabe Casino Story | 10:53 | Wild gambling stories | | David’s Gambling Confession | 15:37 | Hard lessons and financial loss | | Shohei Ohtani & Sports | 22:40 | Sports fan musings | | Church Memories | 25:08 | Adolescent awkwardness & embarrassment | | Becoming a Man | 30:07 | David’s identity crisis | | Natalie’s Sexual Jokes | 33:32 | Group dynamic and boundaries | | Dreams & Vulnerability | 38:26 | Recurring dreams & sentimentality | | Therapy & Friendship | 45:57 | Teasing and past counseling | | LeBron vs. Brady | 46:33 | Silly closing debate |

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Final Thoughts

The episode perfectly encapsulates the witty, honest, and chaotic chemistry of the VIEWS crew: no subject off-limits, a deft mix of self-deprecating humor, raw confessions, and pop-culture commentary. “David Searches For His Manhood” is as much about facing adulthood as it is about laughing at yourself—and bringing your friends (and listeners) along for the ride.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. We need to address this. I didn't know you're going there.

[A]

Sky Brie started a rumor. Let me give you the full details. It was in the last vlog, but I don't think I was clear enough in the vlog of what happened.

[B]

Not at all.

[A]

So I went to Skye's house because I've been seeing stuff on the Internet that's like Skype. Skybrew was doing a lie detector with the classic lie detector guy that everybody. Everybody books in the YouTube space. It's just one guy. It's kind of crazy. He must make a fucking.

[B]

Did you know there's lie detector lady?

[A]

It's his wife.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's married. He married a lie detector person too, and they go around together.

[A]

Well, it's the only way they can both be honest with each other. Right?

[B]

Yeah. You can't lie in that relationship.

[A]

No, no. Nothing's getting through. But. So Sky Brie, who is a.

[B]

Who is Sky Brie?

[A]

I actually don't know, like, where I know her from. The Internet.

[B]

Right.

[A]

She told me she used to do porn. What kind of Internet? Well, I genuinely do. Dead ass. Did not know her.

[B]

Do you know who she is? Like, is she a big. She's the biggest.

[A]

Maybe pretty.

[B]

I know that.

[A]

I know you know her as a porn star. Yeah. Oh, I just know her. I just know her as an Internet like personality.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

So I didn't. I didn't know that. But she did a lie detector test and someone asked her, did you eat David Dobrik's ass?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she's like, yeah, I did. Here's a stone. I was like, what the fuck? And then I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, okay, so maybe, you know, 20, 19. 20, 20 wild times. Something must have. Something must have slipped through the cracks, quite literally in Sky Bri. Must have slipped through my crack. That's what I was thinking myself. I'm like, okay, so maybe she did eat my ass. I hope somebody's eating during this. And then she told me the story of what actually happened, okay? She posted a video in an elevator of her actually eating somebody's ass, okay? And the guy just so happened to look like me, okay? And it went viral. And then she tweeted it. She, quote, tweeted it again, saying, my upper lip still smells like. And then it went viral again. Because that's a pretty funny thing to say.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then people started to say, is this David Do? And the person she did it with, where she was actually eating their ass, wanted to remain anonymous at the time. So she told me. She's like, who can I pin it on? And she goes, it. I'll do. David Do. So she just ran with it. And then that went viral. And then. Ever since then, people have thought I was in the elevator. There's a picture of this guy getting his butt eaten by Sky Bri. And for the last four or five years, people have thought that it was me.

[B]

And you're so stupid that you looked at the picture and you're like, 2019.

[A]

I didn't see the picture because again, it, like, it became, like, it became popular again on the Internet, right? And, like, resurfaced. And I didn't know there was a picture with it. And, like. And, like, Joe. Joe. Joe Vulpis was telling me. He's like, so, was that you in the picture? And every time he kept saying that, I thought he was just kidding. Like, I thought he was, like, adding to the joke. Like, there's some, like, photo of me getting my ass eaten, but turns out it was a real picture. But, yeah. So Sky. Sky did not. Yeah, she did not eat my ass.

[B]

And so you just DM'd her and was like, hey, I'm coming over.

[A]

I messaged her. Like, I got her number through a friend, and I was like, can I come by?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then she. I don't know if this was a joke, but when I came by, she had the fireplace on.

[B]

And then that's ass eating time, when.

[A]

Somebody turned it off because she saw I was with Natalie.

[B]

Natalie the buzzkill.

[A]

Yeah. What a. Yeah. But then. And I didn't think anything of it. I thought like, that was like part of the joke.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then she said it, like, in the vlog. She's like, I genuinely thought you were coming over here because you actually wanted your ass eaten.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Not saying that she would or anything.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But. But it looked like she was down to maybe figure it out. Yeah.

[B]

And you're like, why the fuck did I bring Natalie?

[A]

Let's see if we mesh. And I'm thinking to myself, do I really need to be vlogging at a time like this?

[B]

Natalie, go to the car. Gotta get to the bottom of this. The bottom of my ass. Deep, deep bowels of my anus.

[A]

Seriously. And Natalie told me, she's like. When I walked in, sky gave me a look like, oh, you're here too. So this is not ass eaten time. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

I think if I had to bet on it, she's not being funny. She was being.

[A]

I don't know how much of it is true. I don't think so. I think. I think, honestly, it was like a. She was playing the gag.

[B]

Yeah, she's doing a bit.

[A]

She. I think she was doing the bit. I think she turned the fireplace on as a bit. She turned it off as a bit. You know what I mean?

[B]

But I mean, what a great capper on her.

[A]

She was method acting the whole thing.

[B]

What a great capper it would be to finally really eat your ass and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And go out there. I mean, that's. That would be. That would be the end of a.

[A]

Beautiful story, I think. Yeah, I think it is.

[B]

As that was going on about you for the last like five years, was. Did you think it was funny or is there part of you like, wait, that didn't happen.

[A]

It wasn't. It wasn't that big of a rumor. It wasn't like a.

[B]

It really heated up in the last couple of weeks because I'll tell you something, I heard about it and I was like, I'm not going to embarrass Dave and bring it up.

[A]

Ernst asked me about it. Right. That's when I was like, what?

[B]

Right?

[A]

And then, then, yes. I had some friends, like, from my, like my going out days that were like texting me the clips and they were like, yo, is this true? And obviously they'll play it cool with everybody and be like, fuck, yeah, it is.

[B]

I think that's weird to send that clip to somebody and be like, yo, is this true?

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. But maybe I'm too, like, pent up.

[A]

A lot of people sent me the clip when the boom boys were on the airplane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Asking me if it was real, I was like, what? No, it's not.

[B]

You shot that?

[A]

Well, I guess, like, I don't even, like to ruin, like, the magic behind videos, but I feel like that is.

[B]

Obviously, the FBI called me and asked me if it was real.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, obviously, I don't want.

[B]

To ruin the magic.

[A]

Like, there's a SWAT team on the plane and they appear in three seconds. Like, I don't think we were trying to sell that as, like, real.

[B]

Tell us what you did with the boom boys. Tell us what you do with the Costco guys. It was a. It was a sketch.

[A]

Do you think. How many. How many secrets do you think that people have gotten away with till, like, till their death? Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

A lot. Like, I'm saying, like, what's the biggest secret? Do you think, like, probably have, like.

[B]

A gay relationship, a gay lover, like, you're a straight guy?

[A]

What I'm saying, you're trying to tell us something. I'm like, how long can I go without telling everybody but the true story of me and Sky? No, no. What I'm trying to say is, like, I always wonder, like, how many people, like, successfully, like, save the world from quite literally exploding or, like, terrorists attacking.

[B]

No one will ever know, like, what the president knows. Remember, like, Obama? They're like, they were asking Obama on a talk show. He's like, what did you see? And he's like, you don't wanna know what I saw.

[A]

No, he didn't say that.

[C]

He did.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. He's like, there's things once you become president they give you a book and you get to see.

[A]

You're talking about National Treasure, Book of Secrets.

[B]

No, I saw Obama say this.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is that what happens? I don't watch Nick Cage movies, but is that what happens to you?

[A]

Okay, that's fucking crazy.

[B]

I know. I know. I can't. I'm not a Nick Cage guy.

[A]

Wait, why?

[B]

He just. He seems like he's got.

[A]

It's kinda boring. He.

[B]

He does the same thing in every movie.

[A]

Yeah. Same. He does Nic Cage. It's incredible.

[B]

I get it. I know people love him. I'm just not a Nick Cage fan.

[A]

Oh, my God. He's so good.

[B]

Izzy. Maybe I gotta take another look. But it's always like, oh, this and that.

[A]

No. Yeah, but it's like, what are you talking about? I know. It's so good.

[B]

Give me an example. What's your favorite Nic Cage movie.

[A]

There's one where he's going, no, no, no.

[B]

Well, it's like Andy Sternberg's impression.

[A]

My favorite is, like, knowing.

[B]

Knowing. What's that?

[A]

Or, like, National Treasure. I love National Treasure. National Treasure is, like, right up my alley of, like, movies. I love, like. I love, like, things I love, like, Book of Secrets. I love, like, Area 51.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love things like that one time.

[B]

Naveen, she goes to me, she goes, hey. She goes, there's a new Nick Cage movie. It's a black comedy. It's about Nick Cage, and he has dreams, but he only sees black people in his dreams. And I was like, oh, that sounds fucking amazing. I'm like, are you kidding? And she's like, yeah, yeah, we gotta watch it. It's on Netflix. And then we, like, go to Netflix. And it does say black comedy, but that's not the plot at all. It's just a dark comedy.

[A]

Oh, okay. So it is a comedy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But isn't that a much better movie?

[A]

Well, I have. I actually have a question.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I don't know why that. What you just said kind of made me think of this, but tell me if you get this joke. Okay. Ready?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So this is a TikTok, but you don't need to watch it to understand it. So the caption is. This is the caption when you travel to an alternate universe where Jordan Peele didn't direct a movie in 2019, and Nintendo didn't release a console in 2006. Okay. And this is the video. Ready?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Stop. There is no us. There is no we.

[A]

What?

[B]

I don't get it. Do you get it?

[A]

It's so good. No. Oh, my God. I'm using it as a true test to see. To see who around me who sits on the TikTok all day, who's really good at humor.

[B]

Oh, get the hell out of here.

[A]

Just. Who is the king of comedy?

[B]

I'm the king of the comedy in the house.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna give you one more chance.

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

I'm gonna give you one more chance. Ready? When you travel to an alternate universe where Jordan Peele didn't direct a movie in 2019 and Nintendo didn't release a console in 2006. Ready? Oh, my God.

[B]

Stop. There is no us. There is no we. That's the kind of humor you like.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Is that so good?

[B]

If you. If I worked in an office with you, and I came in and you were like, the guy Next to me, I would. I would fucking ask to move desks.

[A]

Is that not really good?

[B]

It's. That's so corny.

[A]

No, it's not. That to me is like us and we. That to me is like 20, 25. Like humor. No.

[B]

I guess.

[A]

Did you hear about. Did you hear about that guy that. So there's this guy, his name is Terry Wat Tanabe, and he lost $350 million in the casino.

[B]

Good job on that last name.

[A]

Well, I'm reading it right now, even reading it.

[B]

Watanabe.

[A]

One point.

[B]

How much did he lose?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

How much?

[A]

$350 million.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

And the bulk of it was to Caesars. And not only that, but it was only in 2.5 years that all this happened. And he was living in the suite on property. So they're basically like they were taking care of everything. And he lost it in two years. Right. One of the years he lived there, Caesar's palace reported him as 5.7% of their earnings.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Was one man. And I think. I don't. I think there's a new law now where you can't. A casino can legally allow you to lose this much money.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Where? This is the most that'll ever happen in a casino.

[B]

So what happened to Terry Watanabe?

[A]

I don't know, actually. I really didn't watch it that far.

[B]

But let's just say that's the worst about Instagram. It's like we used to like, read stuff and you'd get the full story.

[A]

Oh, I think it's so cool.

[B]

But no, I want to know what happened to Terry Watanabe.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Let's look it up.

[A]

This is Terence watanabe, and in 2000, he put his share of his toy company up for sale after working non stop for 20 years, which was eventually purchased for over 200, $150 million. But Terence found very little satisfaction after retiring. Is this cheating? Years old, stating that his job was his life and only focused on his company. Like, is this.

[B]

Sorry, is it cheating? Just playing a thing on your podcast.

[A]

He's just scrolling tik tok through the whole thing.

[B]

Guys, I'm going to go get a drink, listen to this, and I'll be back in a second.

[A]

That's so. All right, my turn. I'm going to pull one up. I know like Joe Rogan and stuff will pull up things or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But it does feel cheating, no?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I think Joe Rogan does it in like a smarter, more intelligent way.

[B]

Well, he'll actually sit there and like, you can learn.

[A]

No, I'm absorbing this.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

Okay. I'm going to finish it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Test feels really cheap.

[B]

Don't. Just don't edit the vlog because it.

[A]

Genuinely does feel like I could go anywhere right now. While it plays. All right. Terrence began to spend large amounts of money purchasing multi million dollar properties all across the United States. But everything changed for him when he took a trip to Las Vegas and started hitting the casinos. Terrence immediately be being well known around the casinos for being a high stakes player, which led to multiple casinos giving him exclusive benefits to stay at their resort. Terrence then fully moved to Las Vegas from his hometown in Nebraska, where it all came downhill from there. He began blowing hundreds of millions of dollars in Vegas from 2005 to 2008, where he eventually ran out of money and was sued by casinos for owing them money. The cases were eventually dropped and Terrance was forced to move back in with his family. As of Today, Terrence is 67 years old, battling prostate cancer without the funds for treatment. Where are they now? Wow.

[B]

So that's the interesting part.

[A]

Catch me up. I was getting a drink from the fridge.

[B]

Yeah, Dave, come on back.

[A]

It's the video over, but then.

[B]

So they just dropped the case. He doesn't have to pay the money. Like, what happens?

[A]

I think that's it.

[B]

But. So you can't go to jail. So I go to Vegas right now, lose fucking 30 million.

[A]

I think someone will come and kick your ass.

[B]

No, not. That's old Vegas. They don't do that anymore.

[A]

Okay, well, they're not gonna lend you that much money.

[B]

But.

[A]

But I think he had. I think he. He lost 250, 350 million dollars.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I. I assume he owed the casino probably another 10, 20 million. I don't think he owed them, do you? I mean, oh, if you're spending that much, they're giving you credit because they just assume it's gonna keep coming.

[B]

Oh, they're like, we'll take your 350 and let's just call it.

[A]

That's crazy. Is that not.

[B]

Yeah. There's something about ET2 like, when you lose that, isn't there a part of you that's like, hey, this isn't real? Right. Every story you love, every invention that moves you, every idea you wish was yours, all began as nothing. Just a blank page with a blinking cursor asking a simple question.

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[A]

Did I ever tell you about when I lost the money? Did we talk about that on the podcast?

[B]

I don't know which time you lost money? A couple times.

[A]

Well, I lost money gambling.

[B]

Yes. On the stream.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like a lot of money. And it was. I don't want to say how much, even though I've probably already said how much. I'm just gonna not say it again. Sure. Because it was a lot. And I remember I had money in my account and I was like, I'm just gonna play with it, I'm gonna double it. I want to buy this car. So I'm gonna get there. And me and John blew through it in 15 minutes on my bed. In 15 minutes, it's over 100 grand.

[B]

I wasn't gonna say it. Yeah, I'm not gonna say it, but.

[A]

I think you need it for. And it was. This was a couple years ago.

[B]

Sure. How did it make you feel?

[A]

It was one of the craziest experiences ever. How so? Well, so. So I put in money into like online gambling. I love it. I love doing that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I told myself, I'm not gonna put anything else in. I'm just gonna play with this. And to be fair, it started way lower, but I built it up to that over months. Oh, months of gambling. I brought it up to 100. Okay, a little more. And then one night I was like, I'm just gonna fucking double this bitch. And I didn't double this. I started betting and I chased my losses in blackjack and I've never in my life lost six hands in a row. And I lost six hands in a row. So I was doubling. I doubled my two thousand dollar hand to four thousand to eight thousand to sixteen to thirty two thousand dollar hands. And then you lost and then you're out. And it was in literally 15 minutes. And John, John is probably the worst person to sit next to while you're gambling. Like John and I did it so consistently where we were doing it like every week, like every week, three times a night. We were gambling out. You remember that? Like I was gonna say it was almost every night. I think it was every Night. I didn't enjoy what? Like, I would always go to bed, but I'm like, fuck, am I missing out? Yes. And all our hometown friends love gambling, so they would like, FaceTime. And it was like a big communal thing. Like, we weren't just, like, being degenerates. But. But, but then you get to the moment where you're like, ah, Mike is asleep in Chicago. Wouldn't it be cool to surprise him when he wakes up and be like, yeah, guess how much I won last night. You know, like, doubling my money. So. So I really went for it. And John's just horrible to sit next to because, Alex, everyone in the house trusted John to pull the laptop away from me if things got out of hand.

[B]

Why would you trust John?

[A]

No, I know, I know. And obviously that's on me. That's on nobody else. But. But, yeah, he's just.

[B]

He.

[A]

He would do, like, one of those things where he'd be like, no, don't bet that. Let's see what happens. Like, he would give me one of those. And. Yeah, and then we lost it. And then I remember. I remember I had to tell Natalie and Ilya the next day, and, like, I was like, really, like, I couldn't sleep and it, like, really hurt me, and I couldn't. Not because of the money, just because of the, like, addiction. No, it was just like. No, it wasn't like the addiction. I. I don't. I don't actually find a problem with the addiction. I, like, can do it properly. Like, I kind of just stopped after that. I'm not necessarily addicted. Oh, Nat, you're here. Nat. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, you. When you told all of us the next day, you were, like, presenting it in a way that you, like, murdered somebody. Exactly. And that's what I did. Nat. Do you remember, Nat, have we talked.

[B]

About this on the conscience you have, huh? You what? A conscience you have.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because most people would just be like, oh, yeah, fucking lost it. Well, but it weighed on you.

[A]

It was horrible. Now, do we talk about the podcast when I lost all that money gambling?

[C]

The 275.

[B]

Back the up.

[A]

Oh, Natalie.

[B]

Oh, Natalie, that was beautiful. You may have up David getting his ass eaten today, but that was wonderful what you just did.

[A]

You may have blocked me, right?

[B]

Yeah, we thought it was. He said it was 100.

[A]

Yeah, I said it was 100.

[C]

Oh, yeah, it's 275.

[B]

Oh, now I see why you're upset. 275 is a lot more than 100.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, okay, now that I'm being honest.

[B]

It was 475.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Now that I'm being honest, this is why it was a problem. It was. It was. It started at 100. Yeah. And then it got to 275. Got it from my gambling. But then I wanted to speed it up. I wasn't doing my thing.

[B]

You were down to 75?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, you put in another 175?

[A]

No, no, no. I gambled from my 100 and I made $175,000.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Yeah. But, like, that's the problem is it was in my account on the computer. So when am I going to pull that shit out? You don't see it, so you're never going to walk away with it. And it's got to the point where I was playing every day and I had a system, and my system is actually, I have the most incredible, powerful gambling system in the world.

[B]

It's the word you DM me.

[A]

No, it's the word, coach. Right. It's the word dead ass. So I can dead ass myself to leave the table because dead ass is, like, my holy word.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if I'm like, dead ass, if I lose 10,000 tonight, I'm done playing. And this night, I said, no, dead ass. I was like, I'm not gonna dead ass myself. I'm just gonna go for it. That was stupid. So. So now I know.

[B]

And then when you came downstairs and presented it to Natalie and Ilya.

[A]

Yeah. How did I present it to you? I mean, I fucking.

[C]

Well, he was very, like, humble and, like, demure about it because he knew that he did something very bad.

[B]

He comes in the room, he says what?

[C]

He's just like. Like his, like, tail is between his legs, and he's just like, I did something last night, and you're not going to be very proud of it. Like, proud of it or whatever.

[A]

They were looking at me like, yeah. Like I literally killed somebody. And I was like, okay, this is good. This.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, he went.

[A]

You saw the purpose, right? 100%.

[C]

Sent us to the worst place ever. And I knew that he was, like, gambling a lot. And I was like, you should really, like, you don't need to be doing this. This is insane. Like, John does not need to be, like, facilitating the gambling.

[A]

Everything just burns here when Natalie leaves.

[B]

It happened so fast. It was 1600, and then it was 275. I don't. I don't know. It was, you know, just really tried to pull the laptop away, but, you know, he kept Saying, going, going. I said, okay, that's really fun.

[C]

But then. But he, like, before I, before anybody can even reprimand him, he was like, but I did ask myself, I'm not doing it. You know, he told himself that he was not doing.

[A]

So this. This is what John. This is what John told me. And Also, it's. It was 275 at the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Today it'd be like $700,000 because it was crypto. Because it was all. Because it's all in bitcoin.

[C]

Crazy.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah. Completely stupid. Whatever. We. We move on. We move on. But this is what I told John. I was like, well, they would have never stopped, like, and if we did this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If we did this for another week or two.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The loss would have been even greater because I would have built it up to whatever, 350, 400 at the time, and we'd have lost there. And. And it genuinely stopped me from gambling online. Like, I don't really gamble online also, Wasn't it? I have been playing with Steve, though, Loki, and it's kind of fucking lit. I may jump back into it just a little bit. I don't have a problem, which is. I want to make very clear that was a thing that I learned from that time gambling. And now dead ass. I'm going to use dead ass all the time as a stop, stop loss for myself so that won't happen again.

[B]

Hey, Alex is going to explain this baseball player to you. I think it's interesting.

[A]

Okay. I actually don't know that much, but we get. Let's do it. Okay. Well, I know a lot about Shohei Ohtani. Oh, yeah?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel bad about sports because I'm like, not into sports anymore. I used to be. I did acid when I was younger, so I don't, I don't like sports anymore.

[C]

And.

[B]

But. But then when I hear something like this, I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm missing out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Somebody like that. That's. Who's that great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so I looked into it and it was, it was. It was a game basically where he hit. Where he struck everyone out and he hit three home runs. Yeah. Which like, people don't do. Right. You either maybe get away with doing one or the other. Yeah. Like three home runs in a game maybe happens, I don't know, five times in a whole season.

[B]

Yeah. You're maybe your best offensive player maybe will have three home runs in a game. Not the pitcher.

[A]

Okay. Right.

[B]

Pitchers just don't hit.

[A]

How frequently is A hitter, a pitcher.

[C]

Never. Right.

[A]

Really, really rare. There's maybe, like, one other guy in the league that does it, and they're not. I just feel like I could do both.

[B]

No, you couldn't.

[A]

I'm kidding. I just wanted to get Maddie pissed off. I was just.

[C]

I just froze.

[A]

I was just like, you're so turned on.

[C]

So turned off. So.

[A]

No, no. Those are my favorite TikTok comments. When someone does something, the comment is, guess what my ego says. It's like, people saying that they can do it. It's always guys. So I was looking. Guys, do something stupid. Yeah. That's impressive.

[B]

It's really cool. Like, it makes me want to watch the World Series. It makes me want.

[A]

But all the comments were like, yeah, but his last game, he batted a 0.135. They were like, yeah, he's been really shitty in the playoffs. Okay. Okay. But maybe he's coming up now. Yeah, but he's. He's. He is the best player of all time, period. Right. Like, that's not really up for debate.

[B]

In terms of adversity. Not adversity. In terms of versatility.

[A]

Diversity.

[B]

Not diversity. Oh, diversity, too. He's Japanese.

[A]

Wait, did we go to Japan and did we see him, like, all over there? Is he, like.

[C]

I don't think so.

[B]

What happened? Did he play in Japan first or did he start here?

[C]

Yeah, no, he played in Japan first, and then he came over here.

[B]

Unreal.

[A]

Nat, where's the weirdest place you've gotten your ass eaten?

[B]

In this movie room?

[A]

Tech Week panel. Wait now. Have you ever had the panel?

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Did you do something at the Tech Week panel?

[B]

Tech Week was wild this year. People were getting their ass eaten in the green room.

[C]

I got crazy.

[A]

I had my speech at Tech Week.

[B]

Yes. How did it go?

[A]

We gave the podcast a little before. How was it? How do you think?

[C]

Did you give it a. I thought he killed it. He was so good.

[A]

Al, you were in the audience. Were you impressed?

[B]

Yeah, I heard he got laughs.

[A]

I mean, like you said, those conferences are just. They're really hard to listen to, especially if you're not in the business world.

[B]

Like, I tried, but they're just.

[A]

They're so hard to listen. They're so hard to listen to. It's like church, that. It is like church. I will say, though, I had a really cool priest in church, and he actually told good stories. Yeah, so you're like, the good priest. And I think we all. I don't think there's that many good priests. This guy was Fucking lit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I think he was, like, from, like, South Africa or something. And he had, like, really good experiences, like, to everything our priests, like podcasters.

[B]

Did he like you?

[A]

He told me bless up every day.

[B]

He did.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

That's what he would say.

[A]

No, I don't know if he likes you.

[B]

Did you cause trouble? Did you cause trouble in church?

[A]

No. No, no, no.

[B]

Really?

[A]

100%.

[B]

Oh, I can't. And I don't believe you.

[A]

What?

[B]

Dude, there's no way you didn't cause trouble in church.

[A]

All I did in church was I would sit in my pew and I would take the little calendars, or not the calendars. They give you, like, a little, like, every week they have, like, a little pamphlet, and I would color in a bunch of things with pencil or colored pencil or whatever I would bring. That's all I would do. And then for the other half, when I didn't have to stand, I fucking hated standing in church. But when I got to sit, all I would envision is a shooter walking in to the church and me flying through the pews, like, literally, like a superhero and blocking the bullets from hitting the priest. That's all I thought about every John Wick. Every single time. No, not like John Wick, like David Dobrik. No, like Superman.

[B]

Superman.

[A]

Literally all I thought about.

[B]

Taking the bullets bouncing off your chest.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah.

[A]

And then, like. And then I'm just like. I'm just like, yeah, no, it's no worries, guys. Let's just keep this a secret. That's all I thought about every time in church.

[B]

I went to church once, and I was the only Jewish kid in my town, and they're like, come to church. We were all hanging out, having the best time, and they're like, oh, we.

[A]

Gotta go to church.

[B]

We gotta go to church.

[A]

And I was like.

[B]

And I was like. They're like, just come. Just come. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't want to. And they're like, come, come, come. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. And I'm like, in church, I'm like, sitting there and I'm like, I don't know any of this shit. And. And then they're like, we're going up for communion. And then they're like, I don't know what to do. And I went up to get communion. They put it in my mouth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And then afterwards, the guy was like. He pulled me aside and he was like, are you Christian? And I was like, no, I'm Jewish. And he was like, you should not take this communion. Really? And I got in a lot of trouble.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. That is the worst.

[B]

I was like, it's just a cracker, bro.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

No. Not being able to take communion is, like, the most embarrassing thing in church.

[A]

Wait, that's really.

[C]

Yes, because everybody.

[A]

You put your hand on your lip and he, like. He like, rubs your forehead.

[C]

Everybody in my family tells me to stay back in the pew. Everybody in my family is baptized. They all take communion and I stay back in the pew.

[A]

Why is that a problem? You could just sit.

[B]

Wait, you can't take communion if you're not baptized.

[A]

The worst is when you saw a hot girl at church. Sorry, I'm pivoting a little bit, but yeah.

[B]

Get a boner. Yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No, not a boner.

[B]

Sky. Brie.

[A]

No, it was just like. It's tough because you're just like. Because you're just like, you're with your family and you're like, in high school, and you're like, trying to be cool, but then you see the hot girl and you're like, I'm not here with my family. I'm here on my own. You're like, I'm not here on my own either. I'm not even here. So it's like, kind of tough. But then you're like, I am here. She loves church. So it's.

[B]

You're in the dorkiest outfit ever.

[A]

I mean, I look like a fucking loser.

[B]

You're big butt when you were 11. When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom's signature, and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone.

[A]

Learn [e-mail] this episode is brought to you by Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels and music are made for each other. They share a rhythm in the craft of making something timeless while being a part of legendary nights. From backyard jams to sold out arenas, there's a song in every toast. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org, jack Daniels and Old no. 7 are registered trademarks. Tennessee whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy.

[C]

Smart move. Another smart move.

[A]

Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor.

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[C]

It's funny how you have, like, morphed like you are. Even though it's, like, hard. It's like you are a man right now. And you were. You were a little boy, and that's.

[A]

What I know you are. I do struggle with that. That I am a man.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Finally.

[A]

Because do I have man, like, features? Like.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're weird. You're so weird, right? Like, so weird to look at.

[A]

No.

[B]

Really? Yeah. And you're so weird. You go back and forth. You're like a shapeshifter.

[A]

Wait, are you being.

[B]

Are you being dead serious? Because you know how memorized. I told you when I saw you on TV when you hosted the Kids Choice Awards, and I like. And I got to be behind the monitor, and I was like, oh, this motherfucker looks good. But then when I would. I would look at you on the tv, like, that looks really studly. And then I would go out and look at you in real life, and I'm like, But you pop on tv and then. Yes. Sometimes you're manly and sometimes you're like. You like, you're like a salamander.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I just feel like if I was to shake someone's hand.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, would they feel like they're shaking a little boy's hand or would they feel like, oh, this guy's got. This guy's a man.

[C]

It depends because you carry yourself. You, like, fight it. You, like, fight the man from coming out of you in some. I'm like, yeah, literally, in some scenarios, you will. Like if we're at, like, some Hollywood pish posh party or whatever, like, you will turn the man on.

[A]

No way. You've seen it?

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

At DiCaprio's party.

[A]

Where have I seen where. I've turned it on? DiCaprio's party for sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No, come on. Where have I been? Actually, like a man.

[C]

I'm just trying to like one of those, like, magazine, like Variety or Holly.

[A]

I was a man there.

[C]

Yes. Actually, you know what? You know, actually, I think it was the moment that comes to mind. We were at Chateau Marmont for some event.

[A]

The bar or the real Chateau?

[C]

The real chateau.

[A]

Oh, up top.

[C]

No, not up top. We Were down in, like, the lobby.

[A]

Next to Chris Evans.

[C]

No, we were talking. You were talking to Leo, actually.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

For, like. This is before.

[A]

Before the name dropped. Oh, I remember. I remember.

[C]

This is before. This was your first time, I think, actually ever interacting with him. We were just, like, in a little circle, whatever, and it was like some magazine was throwing some party and David got invited and we felt like. You felt like a fish out of water. And then somebody introduced you to Leo, and you, like, you had to, like, pull yourself together to, like, be mature adult and, like. And not, you know, you want it.

[A]

To come off like, that's really funny.

[B]

And I knew it. I knew that was funny.

[C]

And you conversated like a man. Like, you weren't just, like, a goofy little fucking weirdo.

[A]

Well, he's. He's. He's a man for sure, but he's also really cool and funny.

[C]

Yeah, he's.

[B]

Yeah, he's really funny, but I think.

[A]

You only get that when you're really his boy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is, like. Which is, like, pretty.

[C]

I wouldn't have advised you to go in goofy, like, your first meeting.

[A]

Wow. So cool. I was. I guess I did. Like a man.

[C]

Well, you can pull it together. You just, like, really try hard not to.

[A]

Were you super turned on?

[C]

I actually was, like. I was, like, really impressed. I was like, this is really fun.

[B]

I think there is something that happens to a guy in their 30s.

[A]

I love how I'm just, like, saying, would you. Would you just, like, glaze over me saying, were you super turned on? None of us thought that, like, people listening are like, wait, hold on. Are they dating? How did that just slip under the cracks?

[B]

But were you turned on in that moment?

[C]

I wasn't like, oh, my God, I'm gonna go home and try to fuck David.

[A]

Oh, my God. Natalie was horny the other day. Do you remember this? Yeah. You remember this?

[B]

No, I don't wanna talk about him. Oh, my God. When she does the classic, hey, should.

[A]

We all sleep together today? Like, every three weeks, she does that. No, no, no. That's how she said, we were in the rv. It was me, Alex and Zayn. And Natalie goes, isn't it crazy? All three of you can run a train on me right now.

[B]

Oh, that's what it was.

[A]

She said that.

[C]

That is my favorite thing to do because there's.

[A]

You may have heard this before, but this isn't a repeated story. She just said it literally five days ago. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, but I'm, like, very often in scenarios like, I'm with you guys, like, there's no women around. I'm the only woman. And I'm just like. With you guys. And you guys are always, like, talking. You're always. Men are just horny and I'm just kind of there.

[A]

An RV was a perfect drop for that. Yeah.

[C]

And you're not like, directing. It's never directed towards me. It's like we're always talking about other.

[A]

I wasn't really expecting that. She was like. It felt like the right moment. And I was like, really? Like, I'm just on the 101. I'm just, like, driving. Okay. I wasn't. I didn't even see. But we're, like, stuck together in this sweaty RV for three hours. Okay. I guess. I guess I kind of.

[C]

And there's a bed in the rv. Like, it's like, you know, everyone could take turns.

[B]

The joke really hits. Actually. Yeah.

[A]

I didn't know you thought about it.

[B]

I'm just kidding.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But I don't think Zane's heard it before, so I really want to just like, I want to try it out.

[A]

Zane was sleeping. You just said it to me and Al. Dude, you fucking free. I don't remember. Wasted it. That's not even what I was going to say. I feel like it's too gross. What I was going to say.

[C]

Yeah, disgusting.

[A]

It's too gross. No, it's too gross. Let's see. Okay. Natalie was really horny. Okay.

[C]

I actually wasn't. I just like. I didn't David.

[A]

On you.

[B]

Well, you. She loves to test to see if you're a man or not.

[C]

You get so riled up when I like, talk about, like, anything sexual.

[A]

She was talking about a guy and I was. And I was like, oh, my God, dude, you're, like, really into this right now. She was giving all these scenarios and stuff. I can't say it's really gross.

[C]

Wait, what? I don't even know if I know what you're talking about.

[A]

Yeah. I don't want to say it's too gross.

[B]

You're teasing the listener now.

[A]

No, no, no. I can't.

[C]

Wait. What? Just say it.

[A]

No, it's like, so gross. Okay. I was like, wait.

[B]

Deadass.

[A]

Are you wet right now?

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Dead ass. Are you. We should put that on a T shirt.

[C]

Dead ass.

[B]

Are you wet right now?

[C]

She didn't answer.

[A]

And then I was like, yo. I was like, dead ass. Dead ass. And she goes, you. And I go, dead ass. And she goes, dead ass. Yeah, it was crazy. And I was like, oh, my God. That's what happened? Yeah. It was insane.

[C]

Why is that so gross?

[A]

Because I just don't like saying it. It's gross. Anyway, what were we talking about? Natalie being a man?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

When have you seen Natalie become a man? When do you see Nat turn it on?

[B]

When do I see Natalie become a man?

[A]

No, no. What were you. What were we talking about?

[C]

You being a man with Leo.

[A]

Okay. At parties.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And not turning. Being a turn on.

[B]

But I do think there's something that happens. Like, it'll happen.

[A]

Oh, that's what you're saying? Yes.

[B]

And, like, it'll happen to you. Like, maybe in, like, two years, three years, maybe when you're, like, 35, you're just like, oh, fuck. Okay. Something. It happened to me. Whereas, like, I always. People always thought I was gay. People always. I was always like, I don't know about this. And then you're like. You just come into yourself. That's all.

[A]

I think so, too. I don't think I've hit. Like. I still think I'm like, you're still pretty young. I still think I'm in my 20s.

[B]

You are.

[A]

Even though I'm, like, ending my 20s, I still very much feel like I'm right in the middle of them. So. Yeah. But I definitely am waiting for the moment where it's like. Where it hits me, where I'm like, oh, fuck way.

[B]

I'm like, it's already happening.

[A]

I'm 40.

[B]

You're less fun and fun every day.

[A]

That is true. That's so true. But I don't know if I'm like, yeah, I'll have.

[B]

You don't have energy for things.

[A]

No. I don't even, like, stay downstairs to watch movies with anybody anymore. I just go to bed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just, like. I love going to bed at 9. We're up right now, which is kind of crazy. It's 11:30.

[B]

I always want to go around, do stuff with you. You're like, I don't have the energy.

[A]

I know. I feel really bad. Like, Alex Ernst was. Alex Ernst always says this, and it's so sweet. He goes, you want to go play?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Like. And that just means, like, you want to go, like, shoot the shit and maybe, like, get some VLOG stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm just like. I just like, al, if I'm. If I walk out that door, I have about 10 minutes of battery, and then I'll have to be back in here.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I just can't, like, I'm really Good at, like, when we're vlogging, like, give me a premise.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. And, like, we can go. And I'm totally down to go do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if we're just shooting the shit for six hours, like, we. Like, we did. We were 19 and 20.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm going to fucking gas out, like, really quick.

[B]

Okay. All right. That's the key. Give you a premise.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I don't have. I don't have the. The battery as.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

As we did before, but I had.

[C]

Sleep paralysis the other night. Yesterday, actually.

[A]

Whoa. Oh, my God.

[B]

I've had that, dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, this is funny.

[C]

What?

[B]

What?

[A]

Well, you don't remember the joke I said earlier?

[C]

I know. Yeah.

[A]

I just thought it was funny. I came down. I was like, I've had the craziest reoccurring dreams lately. Yeah. And then Natalie was like, I told my story of the dreams. And then I slept here last night. And then Natalie's like, I had sleep paralysis. And I'm like, oh, save it for the pod. And then I joked about how, like, I just didn't want to hear the story. And then I joked again that when she'd bring it up on the pod, I'd be like, just tell us in private. But. Okay. All right, the floor is yours. What happened?

[C]

Well, I don't really know. I don't really know how to interpret this one, but I was at, like, I was fully caught. Like, it felt very real. Obviously. I felt like I was there, and I was like. I was in control of, like, what I was doing, but I also wasn't at the same time. Like, I was at a house, an old, like, rundown house. My family was living in it, and my car. My new car was parked outside in the street, and somebody there was, like, a group of, like, hooligans.

[A]

Your new Ferrari?

[C]

Yes, my new Ferrari.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And there's a group of hooligans that had, like, broken it all, smashed it, and is in the middle of the night.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I, like, woke up my mom or my sister, and we, like, came outside, and I ran up to them, and I was, like, get away. Like, I was trying to shoo them away, and they were like. But I couldn't, like, get to them. And then I was, like, trying to run at them, but I was, like, frozen. Like, I couldn't. I couldn't run.

[A]

Okay, so where's the sleep paralysis, you dumb ass?

[C]

Well, I was just paralyzed. Maybe. I don't know what sleep paralysis is.

[B]

Well, for me, sleep paralysis is, like, when you wake up in the bed.

[A]

Yeah. No, no.

[B]

And you can't move and you're looking around, you're like, I can't move.

[A]

You just had a dream. You just had, like, a dream.

[B]

Should have saved it for the pod.

[A]

Should have saved it for somewhere else. No, no, no.

[C]

But, but I was like. But I. But I. Yes. But then when I woke, I was awake.

[A]

Oh, okay. There we go. There we go.

[C]

Yeah, but I was, like, frozen. But then I was like, I was.

[A]

Just making things up.

[B]

I don't know, Maybe.

[A]

Yeah, you could just tell. You're just fucking. Then I woke up and I was. I couldn't move. Jason. What did you say exactly? Sleep browser twice. Is that exactly what was happening to me? No. That is pretty crazy.

[C]

I'm so glad I can share it.

[A]

Wait, can I tell my story now? Because I want you to analyze. Because I brought it up earlier, okay. And Joe and Ferris were like, yo, you got to tell Jason that because he's. He's the master dream analyser.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

I've had this reoccurring dream, I'm not kidding you, three times now. And I remember it every time. And I know it's a dream when I'm in it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it still bothers me so much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That, like, I'm, like, crying in the dream. I'm in tears. I'm in tears.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. This is going to.

[B]

This is crying in the dream or.

[A]

Crying in real life is going to be the most first world dream you've ever heard of.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I can't wait.

[A]

No, it's very short. It's.

[B]

I couldn't find the key to my Ferrari.

[A]

It's very close. I'm in a new house in the hills, but it's not this house.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I think I sold this house because I was going to get a good deal on it and make a lot of money. That's. That is why I sold it. Because you know how I always say I could get a lot of money for this house and I'm going to. I got to sell it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I sold it for like 16, $17 million. So like $8 million over what I bought it for sure. Just to make money. And now I'm in this other house that's the same price as this house, but not this house. And I am in fucking tears looking across the hill at this house and seeing other people enjoy it, like, in tears. And my accountant is calling me, like, just wait four or five years, maybe they'll move out and I am just fucking, like, maybe they'll move out. Yeah.

[B]

Like, what?

[A]

They. They'll never move out. It's the perfect house. It's Alomar. They'll never move out. It's the perfect.

[B]

You haven't lived there, Jim.

[A]

No.

[B]

You haven't played pickleball.

[A]

They'll never be able to leave. Yeah, and it's. It brings me to fucking tears. What is that? I actually just described the dream as perfect as I've ever been able to, like, recite it. Did you feel it? Do you. Do you feel. Do you feel, like, why that's, like, really troubling to me. Yeah.

[B]

Cuz, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A long time ago, I would have analyzed this dream a lot differently and a lot deeper. But I know you really well, okay? And I know you're not that deep, okay? Okay? And it's just strictly, literally, strictly. You fucked up and sold the house, and you're pissed, okay?

[A]

But I didn't sell that house.

[B]

But you sold the house that you wanted, and you made a mistake. That's all right? That's what the dream is. You sold this house, and you're mad that you sold it.

[A]

Yeah, but how does that correlate to my real life? I think it's because you're obsessed with this house.

[B]

It doesn't. You're obsessed with this house.

[A]

Oh, that's it?

[B]

That's all I get? Okay, now, if you want me to dig deeper, I can, but that's gonna be an extra $50. I mean. I mean, if you want. Want me to dig deeper, I can.

[A]

Okay. But on the.

[B]

On the surface, yes. You love this house so much.

[A]

Do you understand why? This. This is like the. It's like, very bizarre dream for me to have. It happens every single time.

[B]

Oh, you've had it multiple times?

[A]

No, no, Jay. Jay. Multiple times.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

To the point where I wake up and I have to think, was there another house that I. I'm living in right now? Like. And, like, every time, it, like, confuses me because it always goes back to the same house. It's the same house that I'm back inside of, looking at this house. This is such a fucking lame life.

[B]

The only thing I can think of is, you know, you're under a certain amount of stress to live this life and to stay here in this house. In other words, this life that you've chosen for yourself, where you have to, you know, perform at a high level and make videos that, you know, make people happy and do well, it's a very stressful job.

[A]

I don't really like that.

[B]

Okay, all right, how do you read it?

[A]

I read it.

[B]

I knew it. I just fucking love this house.

[A]

I knew it.

[B]

How do you read it?

[A]

It's more so that. Like that. Like the offer of making the money over what this house means to me.

[B]

Oh, yes, very.

[A]

You should be rendered like, non existent. Like, there is no price to put on this home.

[B]

There's no price on the memories that you can have with Natalie and Alex and Ilya. John.

[A]

Like I'm really tied to this place.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes, you very sentimental.

[A]

Like, I'm telling you, I'm goofy about everything. But when the California fires were going on and, And John and Al. John was, for some reason, class clown that day. He was l L ck in the. In the great room. He's like, I'm going to fight off the fire with this sword. And he'd pick up random things. He'd get a pool stick and he's like, I'm going to fight off the pool stick. And I have never been the serious guy, ever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The only time where I've been like, guys, I. And I never say this. This is my home. Yeah. I own, like, I own this home. I pay for. And I love it to death.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, this is everything. Like, you guys can just move.

[B]

I know. You've gone full Marnie in here.

[A]

You could. I love this place, Jay.

[B]

Yeah, you went full Martin.

[A]

No, Jay, I don't know. Okay.

[B]

No, no, I. I get it. That's exactly what it is. Okay, that makes. That makes perfect.

[A]

So just if I ever get an offer to sell this house, make sure to remind me. I'm gonna remember. Cause I have the stream too often.

[B]

Tell John to take the laptop away from you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn.

[B]

I have.

[A]

I should go see therapist.

[B]

Oh, yeah. That didn't go well the first time.

[A]

Cause I had sex with her.

[B]

What?

[A]

You didn't know?

[B]

You ate her ass. Yeah, she ate your ass.

[A]

Nah, nah, I'm kidding. Natalie always.

[B]

You're not gonna see it.

[A]

Therapist Natalie always makes a joke that me and my therapist were in cahoots.

[C]

Yeah. Cause you were. You like fucking became her best friend. I'm like, that is not what's supposed to be happening here.

[A]

We were vibing together.

[B]

Yeah. She didn't look taxed at all when I. She was just like, okay, and tell me, Jason, tell me about Natalie. And I'm like, what.

[A]

What are the problems? All right, guys, that's all the time we have.

[B]

Hey, real quick, who would win in a fight? Tom Brady or LeBron James in a boxing match?

[A]

LeBron.

[C]

LeBron. LeBron.

[B]

I don't know. I think Tom would win.

[A]

It's like, not even, like, a question to me. Tom's older, he's shorter, fragile.

[B]

You think?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And LeBron's just, like, bigger.

[A]

Dude, LeBron's fucking huge. Are you kidding me?

[B]

He's. Yeah. But I feel like Tom would find a way to win.

[C]

He is.

[B]

He is the goat, right?

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Never mind.

[A]

Well, no, I love this.

[B]

I thought this would spur something.

[A]

You thought we'd go another 45 minutes?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Tuesday's done.

[A]

All right, guys, we'll see you later. Bye.

[C]

You didn't thank us.

[A]

Fuck you. Natalie and Doug. Here we have the Limu Imu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[B]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

[A]

Us? Cut the camera. They see us.

[B]

Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates.

[A]

Excludes Massachusetts.