Natalie's Extravagant Birthday

Summary

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VIEWS with David Dobrik & Jason Nash

Episode: Draft Episode for Dec 02, 2025
Date: December 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of VIEWS centers around Natalie’s birthday celebrations, extravagant spending, hilarious behind-the-scenes confessions, and the co-hosts’ signature dive into bizarre internet findings and philosophical hypotheticals. David and Jason, with Natalie and several friends chiming in, dissect birthday etiquette, recount wild party antics, and debate heavy moral dilemmas, all with their signature banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Natalie’s Birthday Dinner: The $7,000 Surprise

• Birthday Recap: The episode opens with the aftermath of Natalie’s birthday, marked by an expensive dinner and reflective banter about the night.
  • Jason admits he paid for the lavish meal, surprising Natalie who thought she covered her own.
  • “You didn’t know? You didn’t tell her? See, now, if I spent that much money on a dinner, I would make sure the person knew.” (David, 03:13)
• Expense Breakdown:
  • Jason reveals he paid $6,700 for the dinner, shocking everyone.
  • “Why am I buying a fuckin’ Corolla? We were in that dinner spot for like an hour.” (Jason, 03:42)
• Missing Friends & Party Dynamics:
  • Discussion about key friends being absent and how Thanksgiving weekend always competes with Natalie’s birthday celebrations.
  • Natalie accepts the cost, noting she saved by not traveling and wanted to enjoy with friends.

Timestamp Highlights

• [02:55] – The big reveal that Jason paid for Natalie’s dinner.
• [03:30] – The eye-popping $6,700 dinner bill.
• [05:09] – Jason explains the room wasn’t even ready for the expensive event.
• [06:15] – “Are you ever gonna run out of money?” (David)
  “Damn close. I’m on the fuckin’ brink of it right here.” (Jason)

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2. The After Party: Pole Dancing and Single Bills

• House Nightclub: Natalie describes a friend’s house decked out as a full nightclub, complete with a stripper pole and professional dancers.
  • “It’s probably the best parties in LA.” (Jason, 09:01)
• Making It Rain… A Lot:
  • Natalie accidentally withdrew $3,000 in singles for the strippers, believing it would go quickly like her friend Zane’s $300 batch.
  • “And I pull out $3,000 worth of singles.” (Natalie, 08:06)
• Philosophical Justification:
  • Jason and David riff on how spending at strip clubs is “giving back”—playing up justifications people use.
  • “I mean, it’s basically… you’re giving back. It’s incredible.” (Jason, 08:42)

Timestamp Highlights

• [08:06] – Natalie’s $3,000 withdrawal story.
• [09:15] – Description of the exclusive, police-proof afterparty setup.

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3. Strange Bathroom Rituals & TikTok Learnings

• Poop Controversy: Jason plays a viral TikTok where a guest claims he’s been “shitting wrong his whole life,” describing a bizarre wiping and catching routine.
  • The gang is stunned, questioning the point of a toilet if you never let anything drop in it.
  • “What the fuck is the point of sitting on a toilet if you’re not…” (Natalie, 13:00)
• Cherophobia: Jason shares a new TikTok discovery: churophobia, the fear of being too happy because you expect tragedy to follow.
  • “Yeah, my whole life.” (David, 14:27, about experiencing this feeling)
• Manifestation Skepticism: Jason doesn’t believe in manifestation for competitive activities; David finds it tougher as life gets more complex.

Timestamp Highlights

• [11:45] – The viral “toilet” TikTok.
• [14:15] – Jason introduces churophobia.

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4. Family, Parenting, and YouTube Antics

• Giving the Kids Everything?: Jason confesses that he’s rarely denied his children what they want, except massively expensive items—like a $3,000 keyboard.
  • “Natalie would eat that keyboard in 25 minutes.” (Jason, 17:19)
• The Car Prank: David and Jason joke about buying Jason’s son a car for YouTube—then taking it back because the reaction wasn’t good enough.

Timestamp Highlights

• [17:06] – Drawing the line on expensive gifts.
• [17:46] – The infamous car prank.

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5. Pop Culture Deep Dives: Harry Potter, Shrek, Marvel

• Harry Potter’s Enduring Magic: Jason is passionate about the films, awed by how the actors grew into their roles and dreams of a real-life Hogwarts.
  • “Why have they not used all the money that they’ve made and built a real-life Hogwarts?” (Jason, 20:37)
  • Solution proposed: A four-hour train ride from London ending at a scale Hogwarts.
• Universal Studios vs. Jason’s Vision: The group debates the merits of Universal's Harry Potter World vs. Jason’s immersive dream.
  • “It needs to be like its own mini country.” (Jason, 23:04)
• Franchise Rankings: Jason rates Marvel above Harry Potter and Star Wars, calling Marvel “untouchable.”

Timestamp Highlights

• [20:37] – Jason’s plan for real Hogwarts.

• [24:17] – Jason’s franchise rankings.

• Marvel News Obsession:

  • Jason nearly cancels a trip to see the new Avengers trailer during Avatar’s debut.
  • “Yesterday I spent an hour and a half thinking... we’ll lose a day on this trip, which will be tougher for the vlog and it'll be an extra $10,000...” (Jason, 25:41)

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6. Wild Birthday Surprise Ideas

• David’s Abandoned Birthday Plan: David confesses he planned on flying out Natalie’s ex-boyfriend as a, “surprise” but didn’t go through with it.
  • Natalie: “I would be mortified, but that’s the point.”
• Wishful Thinking: Natalie had hoped for Robert Pattinson instead.

Timestamp Highlights

• [27:28] – Reveal of the almost-birthday-ex surprise.

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7. Prison Stories & Morbid Hypotheticals

• Peanut Butter Prison Escape: Alex tells a Thanksgiving story about an inmate covering himself in peanut butter to sneak between bars for a sexual encounter.
• Inside Prison Life: Discussion about power dynamics, prison economies, and Jason’s favorite docuseries on world prisons.
  • “Some people have been there 15, 20 years. Still awaiting trial!” (Jason, 33:11)
• Biggest Fears: David confesses his “worst fear” is being wrongly accused of murder and imprisoned.

Timestamp Highlights

• [30:34] – Prison stories begin, including the peanut butter escape.
• [33:03] – Real-life prison horror: awaiting trial for decades.

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8. Deep Morality Games: Genocide & Trolley Problems

• Would You Kill Your Friend to Prevent Genocide?
  • Jason asks: If a cosmic entity guaranteed a friend would commit genocide in 30 years, would you kill them now to stop it?
  • Most agree it would be hard, despite the logic.
  • “Imagine having to do that. Like, you’re having the most boring conversation with John… and you know you have to do it.” (David, 36:00)
• Classic Trolley Problem:
  • Would you pull the lever to save five by sacrificing one?
  • Naveen prefers not to interfere and “let fate happen.”
  • “If it was John and Alex or 200 strangers, I’d save John and Alex.” (David, 41:08)

Timestamp Highlights

• [34:32] – Genocide hypothetical introduced.

• [39:36] – Trolley problem discussion.

• World Peace vs. Billion Dollars:

  • Jason asks if you’d choose a billion dollars or world peace, with the caveat that you can’t profit from the act.
  • “It’s world peace. Without a question.” (Jason, 43:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jason on extravagance:
  “Why am I buying a fucking Corolla? We were in that dinner spot for like an hour.” (03:42)
• Natalie’s singles mishap:
  “And I pull out $3,000 worth of singles… at a house party!” (08:06)
• David on over-tipping:
  “Normally, when it says gratuity included, I still go 20%. Sure. But this time I’m like, that’s fuckin’ crazy.” (05:12)
• Jason’s Hogwarts Dream:
  “Why have they not used all the money that they’ve made and built a real-life Hogwarts?” (20:37)
• Churophobia defined:
  “Some people are actually afraid of being too happy because they believe something tragic will happen soon...” (Jason, 14:15)
• Trolley Problem Honesty:
  “If it was John and Alex or 200 strangers, I’d save John and Alex.” (David, 41:08)
• Jason on morality:
  “A billion dollars or world peace? That’s okay.” (43:30)
  “It’s world peace. Without a question.” (43:58)

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Episode Flow & Tone

• The episode is lively, candid, and consistently funny, blending wild LA nightlife tales with personal confessions and philosophical hypotheticals.
• The trio (David, Jason, Natalie) banter freely, with frequent asides, self-deprecating jokes, and a comfortingly chaotic energy.
• David’s dry wit pairs with Jason’s earnestness and Natalie’s grounded commentary to create a warmly entertaining episode.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:55–06:31 – Natalie’s birthday dinner expense story
• 07:09–09:49 – The wild afterparty & $3,000 singles
• 11:15–13:23 – The “toilet TikTok” and viral bathroom habits
• 14:15–16:44 – Churophobia & manifestation
• 17:00–18:03 – Parenting, YouTube pranks, and buying back a car
• 20:37–23:58 – Jason’s real-life Hogwarts vision
• 27:28–29:02 – The (abandoned) ex-boyfriend birthday surprise
• 30:34–33:42 – Alex’s prison story & prison reality TV
• 34:32–42:29 – Genocide morality hypothetical & the trolley problem
• 43:12–44:36 – World peace versus a billion dollars

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For New Listeners

This episode is packed with comedy, real talk, wild LA nightlife insight, and heady dilemmas. Even if you missed the birthday dinner or the afterparty, the hosts’ chemistry and tangential debates are reason enough to tune in.

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Transcript

[Commercial Voice]

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[Jason]

Every drop of Jack Daniels is mellowed through sugar maple charcoal, giving Jack its smooth taste. That's what makes Jack Jack. Please drink responsibly. Jack Daniels and old number seven are registered trademarks. Tennessee whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee. What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. This is a very special episode. Um, it's Natalie's birthday. Yay. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

[Natalie]

Thank you.

[David]

Let's go.

[Jason]

I'm so happy we got to celebrate her.

[David]

How was my speech?

[Jason]

Oh, at the birthday dinner. Not the best.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Not the best. I was trying and you bowed out really early. I thought you were going to give it more juice.

[David]

Really?

[Jason]

I could. Obviously it was very clear you don't care about Natalie.

[David]

Really?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Because I think I got like a nice uproaring, like, wow, that's so nice. That's how I think.

[Jason]

Because no one had anything to say that, like, even. Even you're like. Just by me speaking just by you.

[David]

That was.

[Jason]

Got people knowing what's up, Natalie? Everyone was like, aw.

[Natalie]

That's my least favorite thing at birthday parties is when people. I don't know who indeed.

[David]

Oh, you don't like that? I did. I covered the whole thing. Yeah. I think that if people don't make a speech and like, bring everybody together at one moment, I feel like it is a completely soulless event. And I felt at times at that party that everybody. People were like, on their phone and stuff. I was like, what's going on?

[Jason]

How come you got a little white stuff on your lip? You look like a soccer coach. There we go. So. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to ruin your train. About that. You just.

[David]

You just buried me.

[Jason]

No, but yes, it was. There was.

[David]

Well, you gave a good speech.

[Jason]

Natalie's core friends were missing.

[David]

Who?

[Jason]

Oh, yeah.

[David]

Like who?

[Jason]

Like, well, there's these three girls that weren't there. Oh, that. Like, they really round out the whole room.

[David]

They cook it up.

[Jason]

Their speeches would have been fucking.

[David]

Really?

[Jason]

And they weren't there, so I think it was a little bit awkward.

[Natalie]

Well, it's hard. My birthday always falls on Thanksgiving weekends. Like, nobody's ever here.

[Jason]

Right. I love how you've come up with Such a brilliant excuse for why people don't show up to your birthday.

[Natalie]

That's true.

[David]

Everybody showed up. Also, I mean, you guys gotta stop spending so much money. I mean, I wanna have a serious financial talk with both of you.

[Natalie]

Wait, why? What happened?

[Jason]

Also, your dinner.

[Natalie]

Why?

[David]

Yeah, it wasn't magically paid for.

[Natalie]

What do you mean?

[Jason]

It was expensive.

[David]

What do you mean? Don't they know it was Natalie's birthday?

[Natalie]

No, I paid for my dinner.

[Jason]

No, no, I paid.

[Natalie]

You paid for my dinner?

[David]

You didn't know?

[Natalie]

No, no, I had no idea.

[David]

Oh, my God.

[Jason]

That's why yesterday, when Emma was like, take her out to dinner. I was like, I already did.

[David]

You didn't know? You didn't tell her? See, now, if I spent that much money on a dinner, I would make sure the person knew.

[Natalie]

Well, I knew that, Like, I knew I was gonna have to pay for the dinner. And I put my card down. It'.

[Jason]

Yeah, I took your card back. I couldn't have you pay for your birthday dinner, even though I wish you did, because it was so expensive.

[Natalie]

Wait, how much was it?

[Jason]

I mean, it was a lot.

[Natalie]

Like, how much?

[Jason]

Okay, $6,700.

[David]

Oh, well, okay, so let's take David out of the equation. Let's say David had, like, 6700.

[Jason]

How are we.

[David]

We're gonna get back to you.

[Natalie]

Wait till we spend that much money.

[Jason]

It was insane. And I, like, I fucking hate when I get in that situation because I'm like, I know, I just gotta play it cool. I just gotta go with it. I'm like, why am I buying a fudgeing Corolla? We were in that dinner spot for like an hour. I never. This is going to sound like I regularly spend, like, money like this. No, I don't ever do that.

[David]

Wait, when you saw the bill, what did you do?

[Natalie]

Wait, that's so funny.

[David]

By then it's too late because they told me that.

[Natalie]

They told me that the guy that helped set it up got rid of the minimum spend. So I was like, oh, great. Like, I'm not even going to have to spend that much money. Like, I was, like, excited for my car to not be charged that much.

[Jason]

NATALIE laughs like, wow, that was zero dollars.

[Natalie]

U. Wow. That's crazy. Well, thank you.

[Jason]

Yeah, of course. Anything for you.

[David]

That's crazy. What did you do when you saw the bill? I would have lost it.

[Jason]

Well, it was just really funny because it was like, I saw the bill and then I was like, john, Julia, pull up the car now. And then I just sat in the car with him, just bitching, oh, my God. Who needs a $7,000?

[Natalie]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[David]

And who's to say? What if David didn't go that night? You should not be spending $7,000 on your fucking birthday dinner.

[Natalie]

Well, I didn't think it was going to be that.

[Jason]

I think something must have happened.

[Natalie]

Something definitely happened.

[Jason]

I feel like you should honestly loop back in with him and be like, hey, how did you do? Gratuity was included, and a service charge was included, which is like, double gratuity. I don't even know what that. What's the service charge? And then gratuity.

[David]

A service charge is gratuity.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jason]

So there's both.

[David]

So gratuity was not included.

[Jason]

Normally, I'm the guy when it says gratuity included, I still go 20% sure. But this time I'm like, that's fucking crazy. This time I'm like, I don't think I can do over the 20%. I'm just gonna keep it. 20% tip. And what I thought was really weird about it is we got there, reservation was for 10:30. It was like a private room. And we pulled up with the 10 people that we were supposed to come with. Everyone was there, and the room wasn't ready to, like, 1115. And that's crazy for pulling up with 10 people and spending that much money for a dinner. Like, it should be ready. People should just be, like, hanging around. And then when we got there, they're like, we're sorry for the wait. We're going to get you a bottle of tequila. And then one of our bougie friends was like, 1942, please. Which is a funny thing to ask, but they were like, I don't think we can do 42.

[Natalie]

Yeah. Which is fucking crazy.

[David]

And then.

[Jason]

And then they just. Which I know this is like, I'm, like, nitpicking here, but, like, when you're spending $7,000, like, that's absolutely insanity. And, yes, the entire. The entire room was. They had a sewage problem, so it was like. It all smelled. Yeah.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God. That's really wild.

[Jason]

It was really funny.

[David]

I said to Dave, after he told me how much he spent, I go, are you ever gonna run out of money?

[Jason]

I go, damn close. This is my. I'm on the fucking brink of it right here.

[David]

Yeah. And also, don't.

[Jason]

It's a Chanel bag.

[Natalie]

No, for sure. I mean, I had fun.

[Jason]

No, you had a good time. I was like, I'm only being this dramatic because, 1. It was funny. With John and Julian 2. I even told John and Julian, like, at least I have something to talk about on the podcast.

[Natalie]

He's like, a bitch about Natalie's birthday. I was like, fully okay with spending. Honestly, in my mind, I didn't do a big trip, so I was like, okay, I'm gonna spend. I saved a lot of money in my head, even though I didn't actually end up spending it, But I was, like, comfortable spending a couple thousand dollars on the dinner and having a nice time with all of our friends.

[David]

That was wild.

[Jason]

I know. It's really funny.

[David]

A lot of cash.

[Natalie]

And then we went to an after party.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah.

[Natalie]

And the after party has, like, it's this guy. He has turned his guest house essentially into a nightclub.

[Jason]

Oh, that's crazy. You're sp. Spending money there thinking that you spent money at dinner. You were really balling out. I didn't even think about that. Yeah.

[Natalie]

And then I. So we went to. There's a. There's a section that has, like, a stripper pole, and they have, like, actual strippers there that come from whatever the strip club. And then you know that you can. You can at the house, take out cash, like singles. They, like, have somebody there that's doing that for you. And Zane was all excited. He's like, I'm gonna get singles. I'm gonna get singles. And I was like, hell, yeah, I get singles. And I thought that he got, like, $1000 or $1500 in singles, because that's what he said he was doing.

[David]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

And so. But he actually only got $300 in singles. And we went. We went through it really quickly.

[Jason]

Is like, what, 30 seconds?

[David]

Yeah. Three throws.

[Natalie]

Yeah. And so then we were out of the $300. So I was like, okay, let me get some. And I pull out $3,000 worth of singles.

[Jason]

That's crazy. At a house party.

[Natalie]

At a house party.

[Jason]

No one's in the strip club except me. You, Zayn. Yeah. Your sister and Paulina, another one of our friends.

[Natalie]

Because I thought that he got fifteen hundred dollars worth of singles. So I was like, okay. We went through that so fast. Like, I have to get.

[Jason]

That's really funny.

[Natalie]

And it went like that.

[Jason]

It was kidding. At least it goes to, like, a good cause.

[Natalie]

No, it was really fun.

[Jason]

At least it goes to, like, I.

[Natalie]

Have, like, a money guy, the stripper.

[Jason]

Like, it's. It's like it's going to, like, this big corporation. It's going to a girl.

[David]

Yeah, that's. It's true. Well, like, I always feel that way when I go to a strip club, Dave.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

It's girls who serve it.

[Jason]

You're talking to the guy who rationalizes strip clubs to no other. So like. Yeah, I mean, it's basically. You're giving back. It's incredible.

[David]

Sure, they have student loans and kids, but.

[Jason]

Yeah. So I think. I think it was a good call by Natalie.

[David]

What's this house like where a guy has a club in his house?

[Natalie]

Oh, it's incredible. It's like some of my favorite parties.

[Jason]

It's probably the best parties in la. Yeah.

[David]

Really?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

It's so fun.

[David]

Is it legal?

[Jason]

Yes.

[David]

Does he have like a permit and shit?

[Jason]

Well, actually, cops are always there every time, but there's never a complaint. Cause there's no noise. It's like. It's almost like in like a basement type thing.

[Natalie]

Yeah, it's all inside.

[Jason]

The noise is incredible.

[David]

How many people are there at most?

[Jason]

So probably 200. Yeah, two, 300. So he had. If you know anything about big house DJs. Yeah, he had Solomon DJ and Anima, which are two big, like house.

[Natalie]

That was. Who was DJing that night?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Oh, no way.

[Jason]

Together. And like everybody kept coming up to me. Oh my God, you have no fucking idea what a big deal this is in the house. Because apparently, like, to get them together is like a really big deal. So, yeah, they were DJing the entire night.

[David]

And it stays open as long as people stay like 7, 8am it could. People could be there.

[Jason]

Nelly was there to what, 7, 6am?

[Natalie]

No, no, I was there till like 5:30.

[David]

I don't know how you do it.

[Jason]

It's one of those places where I'm just like. Like Irish, goodbye. Because it's just like Natalie, Like Natalie's so good at operating that that late. But I'm just like. I could get dizzy and I just got to get out of there. But it is really great. Like, he'll have like, obviously like Diplo DJ, Swedish House Mafia. He'll have like really random cool DJs just in a basement for like 2, 300 people. Oh, wow.

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[Jason]

I was on TikTok, where I get all my information from. Obviously that's why I'm one of the more intelligent minds.

[David]

I know your mind is always cooking with great facts from TikTok.

[Jason]

Did you see this guy?

[David]

Who.

[Jason]

Who didn't know. This is. This is. This is on a real podcast.

[Commercial Voice]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And this guy basically has been shitting in the toilet completely wrong his entire life. Have you seen this?

[Natalie]

What?

[Jason]

I think I've shown you this. It's fucking incredible. I can't. I can't believe it. No, it's real. It's real. If you're seeing his face. Okay, listen to this.

[John]

We all touched shit before.

[Commercial Voice]

I've never shitted in a tissue, but.

[John]

You shit, you touch it every single day. If you like, you don't wipe yourself. It got shit in the tissue where you wipe yourself.

[Commercial Voice]

You don't know how to get. Why are you touching this? The tissue is for the shit.

[John]

That's what I'm saying.

[David]

You.

[Alex]

You grab.

[Commercial Voice]

No, no, no. You're not saying that you don't.

[John]

Yeah, you wipe and you grab this.

[Commercial Voice]

You don't grab.

[Jason]

Why are you grabbing?

[Commercial Voice]

Do you got stuck in your ass while you're thinking.

[John]

Are you telling me that y' all just let the doodle fall in the.

[David]

Toilet every time I am about to leave, bro.

[John]

How do y' all take a.

[Jason]

Wrong.

[Commercial Voice]

My stomach.

[Jason]

Hold on.

[John]

So y' all just sit there and. Right come right out.

[Jason]

What?

[John]

No way.

[Commercial Voice]

What happens if you got the runs or something like that? What do you do then?

[John]

You wash your hands. Why do you think people wash their hands?

[Natalie]

No way.

[Jason]

I mean, that's wild, isn't that?

[Natalie]

What does that mean?

[Jason]

Well, that. He doesn't let the tissue hit the water and. Or he doesn't let the hit the water. He catches it.

[Natalie]

But why?

[Jason]

And then he like wraps it up and.

[Natalie]

And puts it in the toilet and flushes it. Or is he putting it in the trash?

[Jason]

Some people. I've. I've heard this from some people. And some people Just throw it in the trash.

[David]

What do you mean you've heard this before?

[Jason]

I have heard this before. I don't know. I don't know.

[Natalie]

What the fuck is the point of sitting on a toilet if you're not.

[David]

You turn into a little mummy just.

[Jason]

For like the possibility of some getting into the under you. What? I don't know.

[Natalie]

What do you mean?

[Jason]

I don't know. Guys. I watch this crazy. It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen. And that TikTok clip I get, maybe I've gone about six times now. And every time I sit through the whole thing and every time I'm just like, wow, it really is as crazy as I remember it.

[Natalie]

That's wild.

[David]

That'd be like peeing.

[Jason]

But this man's like 35 years old. Like, how is he? How has he been pooping?

[Natalie]

Like no one's told him.

[Jason]

I don't know, but I guess. I guess private. Yeah, I guess who would tell you, right?

[David]

And your parents.

[Jason]

Yeah. But maybe as. Maybe as a kid. Maybe as a kid they had like a problem in like.

[David]

Maybe a plumbing problem.

[Jason]

Yeah. Maybe he didn't grow up in the best area, so, like, his parents were literally catching it. And then he just. He. And then maybe his parents. You know, my parents told me no one died during 9 11. Right?

[David]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jason]

So maybe it's the same thing. And they just did that to protect me. So maybe to protect him, they were like, everyone catches their shit, honey. But they didn't want to tell him, like, sorry, our plumbing isn't good enough. Well, regardless, that's something I've learned on TikTok. Also. Listen to this. This. I think I have this. There's this thing called churophobia.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And it's according to psychology, some people are actually afraid of being too happy. This actually, you may have this too, because they believe something tragic will happen soon. Have you ever gotten that?

[David]

Yeah, my whole life.

[Jason]

I. Fuck, yeah.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

It's like when things are going good, I fucking.

[David]

Yeah. What's it called? Cherophobia.

[Jason]

Cherophobia, wow. Cherophobia. Yeah. I feel like that's pretty. It's pretty good.

[David]

Mmm.

[Jason]

And you know what? You know which rule I hate? Oh my God. I haven't saying it out loud. The rules of the rule of three. Like, bad things come in three.

[David]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Jason]

I hate that.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Cuz it's so true. I remember one time I was on one and I was like, ah, fuck. There's no way there'd be two more. And then another one happened. And then sure enough, I was like that. This is as bad as it can get.

[David]

Well, I usually think they come in twos.

[Jason]

They come. You say they come in twos?

[David]

Yeah, they come in twos. Yeah.

[Jason]

They definitely never come in once.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Because it's just, like, lame.

[David]

I hate that. I hate that. I hate being, like, thinking bad stuff's coming.

[Jason]

Yeah. No, you should never think like that.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Do you believe in manifestation?

[David]

I know it works for a lot of people. I just. I can't do it, you know, I just don't. I've tried. I've tried so fucking hard.

[Jason]

Like, okay. Because I have, like, two. I have an example of where I don't think it works for me and where I feel like it. Like, I do think that, like, what you say to yourself every day will.

[David]

Will come true.

[Natalie]

Like, affects your psyche.

[Jason]

Affects your psyche. But, like. Like, the. The easiest form of manifestation I could. Like, I could grasp. And, like, the quickest reward is, like, when I'm playing a game of pickleball or when I'm playing tennis.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And I'm always manifesting that I'm gonna win the next game or the next point.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Or this match. And every time I do that, I lose every single time. Every time, imagining myself. Okay, these next two points are mine. Every time I'm putting myself ahead where I'm up, I lose every single fucking time. So I don't know if that's just because, like, I'm playing a sport and it's a little different there. But, like, that kind of freaks me out about manifestation.

[David]

Probably because you're better in the moment, going moment to moment than thinking about the future.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And pickleball.

[Jason]

Yeah. And I like, surprising myself. Like, I like, like under. I love. I love under delivering or under promising and over delivering.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Like, that's, like, my favorite thing. I feel like that's, like, something everyone should live by.

[David]

Manifestation is tough when you have kids and you're older. Cause it's like you can manifest all you want, but some. Something in life will come and just fucking wreck you. You know what I mean?

[Jason]

I mean, that's like.

[David]

I could. I could sit here and say, like, I'm gonna make a TV show this year.

[Jason]

I feel like that's. That's. That's very. A very you point of view, though, you know?

[David]

And then I'll be like, okay, I have the money together. And then all of a sudden, Charlie's got to go to camp. You know what I mean, and then, like, all right, well, there goes the money. You know what I mean?

[Jason]

Has there ever been anything that your kids wanted that you said no to?

[David]

No.

[Jason]

You've never.

[David]

No, no, I've said no to someone.

[Jason]

What have you drawn the line on? Like, what's the most exp.

[David]

Like, experience for Wyatt's instruments? They were so expensive. Like, I got him, like, a Nord once, which is, like, a really nice keyboard.

[Jason]

How much is that?

[David]

It was three grand.

[Jason]

Tef and Natalie's dinner. Natalie would eat that keyboard in 25 minutes.

[David]

Natalie would throw that keyboard at a stripper. It's hard to keep it.

[Jason]

Is this enough?

[David]

Yeah, those. Those things are expensive. Lessons were expensive. That's it. But my kids are good. Remember, we got him a car and we took it back.

[Jason]

Yeah. It's really funny.

[David]

I don't want.

[Jason]

We bought him a car and he didn't want the car.

[Natalie]

Yeah. For a video.

[Jason]

Well, what was the bet? The bet was, like, if he gives.

[David]

A good reaction, I'd pay for the car. David pays for the car. And he gave a terrible reaction.

[Jason]

So Jason returned the car.

[David]

Oh, my God.

[Jason]

You don't really want it. Right. But that was the bit in the video. It wasn't like we secretly recorded Returned a Car. I think we've talked about that.

[Natalie]

Yeah, that's really funny.

[Jason]

Yeah, that was. Yeah, there's something fun about that.

[David]

Did you see that TikTok? It's. Do you know the song Hallelujah?

[Jason]

Yeah, of course.

[David]

So it's, like, a really famous song that Jeff Buckley made famous, but it was. People tried to make it, like, famous for years. And Leonard Cohen wrote it originally, and the record company, like, wouldn't publish it, and then another guy tried to make it a hit, and he wouldn't pub. And then it wasn't a hit. And then Jeff Buckley tried.

[Jason]

Hallelujah.

[David]

And even Jeff Buckley tried, and it wasn't a hit.

[Jason]

Can I tell you what made it a hit?

[David]

He died.

[Jason]

Shrek.

[Natalie]

Shrek.

[David]

Oh, it's in Shrek.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

The Jeff Buckley version.

[Natalie]

Hallelujah.

[David]

Wow. I didn't know that.

[Jason]

That's where I heard it for the first time.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Oh.

[David]

Cause Jeff Buckley died, and then it became a hit nine years later. Maybe. It's probably when Shrek came out.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[David]

Wow.

[Jason]

I mean, Shrek also.

[David]

That's so interesting.

[Jason]

Shrek is incredible. It also blew up. Smash. Mout my opinion.

[David]

I don't know. Yeah, for sure.

[Jason]

Yeah, for sure.

[David]

Well, it was a hit when it came out.

[Jason]

It was a hit.

[David]

Yeah. But for you guys, it made it a really big. It solidified it. But when it came out, it was a hit. I mean, Smash Mouth was, you know, that was.

[Jason]

Oh my God. You know what I watched yesterday that I've been meaning to talk about? So we finished Harry Potter.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And I've seen the series obviously like back in the day, but we rewatched it again. It's awesome. So have you seen it? You don't like wizards?

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You're so fucking lame.

[Natalie]

Like wizards.

[Jason]

Don't believe in that.

[David]

What a sentence. You're so lame. You don't like wizards.

[Jason]

I just think. I think Harry Potter is so amazing. Just because of like they're so young when they start and just like, just like not, not even the movie itself just taking you out of it. Just watching these kids grow up is already like so fucking cool. And the fact that they got these kids that turned into like the perfect versions of the characters too. Yeah, like kids change and they look so weird. What are the chances that Hermione Granger was this cute little kid and then turned to be like a beautiful woman at the end of it? Like, it's just like kind of crazy. And Harry Potter is like this nerdy kid, but then he becomes like this like really like. I don't know, maybe it's also just their characters. Ron Weasley, everyone perfectly like evolves. Evolves, develops, whatever. I think it's sick. Now this is what pisses me off about Harry Potter is why have they not used all the money that they've made from all these Harry Potters and built like a real life Hogwarts like, like I'm saying, like in the somewhere.

[David]

Because magic's not real.

[Jason]

They buy $400,000 or 400 acres. 400,000 acres of land somewhere in the UK. I'm not talking Disney World or Disneyland. I know that's stupid shit. And I'm saying you take a Hogwarts train, you're on the Hogwarts Express. Like you're at a train station maybe actually in London. You start there and then it takes you out on a separate track across a bridge, just like to Hogwarts. And then you enter like a one to one replica of Hogwarts. You can have dinner in the hall where they all have food. You can go, you can attend classes, you can like sign up for classes there. You can watch a Quidditch match. What kind of classes?

[David]

How could they watch a Quidditch match?

[Jason]

What do you mean? Potion making. What?

[David]

How could you watch a Quidditch Match. It's not real. You can't ride around on a broom.

[Jason]

Well, that. That's what would be, like, Universal, like, studios, like. Or like Cirque du Soleil. Like that. That would be like a theater thing.

[David]

Is it a match? Or is it Cirque du Soleil or is it Cirque Dale?

[Jason]

No, it's a choreographed match.

[David]

Oh, a choreographed match.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

So they're on, like, motorized bro Drumsticks, and they're, like, flying around a little bit.

[Jason]

Yeah. I mean, isn't that, like. Is that so easy, like, just to have people on strings flying around?

[David]

Harry Potter theme park.

[Jason]

Like, in a tent. I feel like that. But, like, it's just like. It's not even a theme park. Like, I'm saying, like. Like Harry Potter Land, like, just.

[David]

Well, have you been to it at Universal? They have.

[Jason]

Yes, Jay. It's disgusting. It's in the middle.

[David]

They have a potion class. I mean, it's not a potion class, but you can go in.

[Jason]

But that's like. I'm saying, like, something that's like. Like, that's it.

[David]

You got it. That's what you imagine. Oh, straight down the street. You.

[Jason]

Honestly, you've been sucked dry of everything happy, have you? You just fucking. I really hope I'm never like you, man.

[David]

I really.

[Jason]

I never become.

[David]

I hope you're not. I hope you're not.

[Jason]

I'm miserable.

[David]

You keep paying for 7,000 dinners. $7,000 dinners. You're gonna be right here with me.

[Jason]

Yeah, okay. I'll never get to the point where I'm buying my kid a fucking $9,000 violin. I'd rather pay for dinners at a club. And 3,000. Okay. Yeah.

[David]

I mean, I'm just saying, like, someone. Like a theme park toe, dude.

[Jason]

Like something rooted in nature. Like, something, like, beautiful. Like, something like.

[Natalie]

Like a town that's actually like.

[Jason]

Like a real, Real.

[David]

Real working town.

[Jason]

Like a real town. I'm saying, like, like, on the map, like, this is the whole city of Harry Potter. How the fuck is that not done? And I don't care how far.

[David]

Who's gonna pay for it?

[Jason]

The franchise.

[David]

The franchise. They're all sitting on all their money, you know, sitting.

[Jason]

You know, bigger. Harry Potter would be if there was.

[Natalie]

This, like, actual experience.

[Jason]

If there was an actual experience, everybody on planet Earth would be watching Harry Potter 10X.

[Natalie]

Just like, they could have. They could have their own Disney World or their own universe.

[Jason]

I don't even think Disney World is fair. Like, it needs to be like, its own mini country. Like, In. And the good part about this is it could be with. With the fact that the Hogwarts Express is such a pivotal thing in the show. You can have a custom train track that goes from 9 1/3 the platform and takes you four hours out of London town and takes you into the most desolate area in London or in the uk.

[David]

You're taking over the whole country with this thing.

[Jason]

No, you just go four hours out where land is the cheapest in the.

[David]

Uk and then whatever it is. What happens when you get to the four hours out?

[Jason]

That's when you enter Hogwarts. Ah, you have the whole experience. The train comes and they could charge a ton because maybe it could be like a weak thing. You're like. Literally you go through the whole thing. You're selected whether you're in Gryffindor, Slytherin. Like it's a whole experience. It could be so fucking beautiful. Okay, you're actually enrolled in school maybe.

[David]

Right.

[Jason]

I don't, I just, I don't know why people like, why, why more money isn't put back into the magic of it. Like if I made Harry Potter, I'd be like, how do we make this thing fucking reality now? I don't know. That's just. That's my two cents.

[Natalie]

I love your passion for Harry.

[Jason]

Thanks.

[David]

Yeah, I like it. Is it surpassing Marvel Harry? No, no, no.

[Jason]

Marvel. I actually ranked all my. Well, we've only rewatched three things and that's Marvel. Sorry. Lord of the Rings is next. But Marvel, Harry Potter and Star wars and my rankings unfortunately is Marvel, Harry Potter, Star Wars.

[David]

Okay.

[Jason]

Star wars is a little low for me. Even though the first, the first movies I started on was Star Wars. I just don't. The fight me on this. I just don't think they hold up as much as like the beauty of like a Harry Potter or Avengers is unbeatable. Marvel is unbeatable, untouchable.

[David]

It is.

[Jason]

I mean, obviously it's not now where it was, but like up until what's coming.

[David]

What's coming from Marvel? Anything.

[Jason]

Well, here's my big problem.

[David]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Oh yeah.

[Jason]

I have a big problem. So it's rumored that at the beginning of Avatar, the new Avatar that's coming out, they're showing the trailer to Doomsday, the new Avengers movie. Oh, that comes out next year. There's been no trailers of it, no teasers really of it or anything. And apparently it's playing at. During the Avatar credits, like the beginning, you know, like when the ads come up before.

[David]

That's the one where Robert Downey Jr. Plays the bad guy. Right?

[Jason]

Plays Dr. Doom.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah. So my problem is we have a trip planned that same day. Okay. And. Oh, so now I can't go see Avatar.

[Natalie]

Dun dun dun.

[Jason]

But so I return my tickets. Now I bought tickets to an earlier showtime because you can't see Avatar any earlier because it's. We're leaving on opening day.

[Natalie]

David almost like canceled the whole trip just for this fucking trailer. I was like, our friends are going to be in the theater. They can just like text you.

[Jason]

Yesterday I spent an hour and a half thinking about whether or not. Because if I, if I change the tickets the next day. Yeah, we'll lose a day on this trip, which will be tougher for the vlog and it'll be an extra $10,000 for the tickets.

[David]

Oh, my God.

[Jason]

So I'm like trying to think, is that worth it?

[David]

Just so you can see that trailer.

[Natalie]

Like this, like, so now what? So stupid.

[David]

You could see it on the trip.

[Jason]

You're so stupid. So, so then what?

[Natalie]

I think, I don't think it does, brother.

[Jason]

The other option was that I go in, that I buy a 2pm ticket, which is the earliest time you could see Avatar.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And just see the trailer.

[David]

Yeah. And then leave.

[Jason]

And then leave. But now we've had to move our flight even earlier. So I'll even miss that.

[David]

Oh, my God.

[Jason]

But like, I understand why you think it's like a very stupid thing for me, but like, I don't make money for anything else other than the things you love. The things I love. And this is at the top, top, top of my list.

[David]

Oh, cool.

[Jason]

And this is like, this is like a cultural moment when if this trailer actually releases, I texted my Marvel guy and I was like, can you give me like the insight tea of when it actually releases? So I'm not like fucking my whole schedule up here just for this.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

But like, it is a life changing moment. I need to see this trailer and I need to see it. I need to see it with the crowd. I need to see people in their seats. I need to fucking feel the excitement from the people. I can't just see it on YouTube later or it fucking filmed on an iPhone for TikTok. I need to be sitting in those seats.

[David]

Well, let's cancel the trip.

[Jason]

Okay.

[David]

Wonderful.

[Natalie]

Wait, Speaking of my birthday, I totally forgot. David and I were sitting on the couch the other day and you told me you were like, I have this really great surprise for you for your birthday, but I don't think I'm able to get it done. You were going to tell me on the pod what it was?

[Jason]

Oh, yes. Okay. Are you ready?

[Natalie]

I'm ready. I'm so excited. But like it'll definitely never happen.

[Jason]

Like it could still happen if you wanted to. I already told Jay.

[Natalie]

Really?

[David]

No.

[Jason]

Yeah, Yeah. I was gonna surprise you. Well. Cause I know how you want a boyfriend really bad. I know, I know. It's how you're number one thing.

[Natalie]

It's not my number one thing.

[Jason]

Well, I was gonna make it easier for you. I was gonna fly out your ex boyfriend. Oh God. And just like surprise you with him at dinner.

[David]

Oh. And just he was so heated up Saturday night. He was talking to Naveen and I. And he's like, yeah, I'm just gonna fly him out and it's gonna be. I'm getting catch a little. I'll probably pay him like five grand to come out. And Naveen and I were like, this is gonna be a good surprise.

[Natalie]

That's insane.

[Jason]

That would be funny.

[David]

No.

[Natalie]

Are you in contact with him?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Shut up.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

Wait, what?

[Jason]

He's down.

[David]

Shut the fuck up.

[Natalie]

No, you're lying.

[Jason]

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[Natalie]

Oh my God.

[Jason]

That was my problem. That's crazy. Cause he's very like normal guy who like, you know, has his like.

[Natalie]

Yeah. There's no way he would ever do it.

[Jason]

No.

[David]

No. Okay.

[Jason]

But what would you think if I did it? If I surprised you with your ex?

[Natalie]

Well, I would kind of be like.

[Jason]

Mortified, but that's the point. But would it be like a funny mortified or would you.

[Natalie]

I don't like hate him at all.

[Jason]

I think that would be like really fun.

[Natalie]

My sister. Because you told. You told me that you told my sister. So I turned to her in the car and I was like, David told me that there's a surprise that's happening. But he was like, but he hasn't told me yet. I told him to tell me on the podcast. And she was. And she got so like flustered about it.

[Jason]

It's good that she kept the secret.

[Natalie]

She kept it really good secret. And I thought that you were going to surprise me with like Robert Pattinson.

[Jason]

She did. She did text me. She's like, you should surprise with Robert Pattinson. I was like, okay, yeah. Why don't I get. Jesus Christ.

[Natalie]

Robbie. If you're out there.

[Jason]

We find Vecna. We end this once and for all together on December 25th.

[David]

We have a plan.

[Natalie]

It's a bit insane.

[David]

Everyone in he knows where we are.

[Jason]

Watch out. Get ready for one last adventure.

[David]

We stay true to ourselves, stay true.

[Jason]

To our friends, no matter the cost.

[John]

Found you.

[Jason]

Stranger Things Season 5, Volume 2 begins December 25th only on Netflix.

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[Jason]

And Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual.

[Natalie]

Fascinating.

[Jason]

It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[David]

Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

[Jason]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[David]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company. Affiliates excludes Massachusetts. Alex came to our house for Thanksgiving. That was fun.

[Alex]

I did. You missed out.

[David]

Remember the prison. Remember the prison stories?

[Jason]

Crazy. What was the prison story?

[David]

He said that he's like a guard, and he said that there's an inmate who wanted to have sex with his daddy so badly that he covered himself in peanut butter. He saved up all this peanut butter, covered his body in peanut butter, slid through the bars, went to his. The other cellmate. Let the.

[Jason]

Let the one have sex with his daddy.

[David]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I don't know why he gave him that.

[David]

Well, that's like. That's like the term they use.

[Natalie]

That's what the guy called him.

[Naveen]

I kind of felt uncomfortable when you said it.

[Jason]

Why did you just throw that out to so normally?

[David]

Well, that's what. I think. That's like a prison term.

[Jason]

Wanted to have sex with his daddy.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

What the fuck? Why didn't you just say wanted to have sex with, like, another cellmate?

[David]

Focus.

[Jason]

Apparently it was. That's crazy. Wanted to have sex with this papa daddy.

[David]

So anyways, he goes and he has sex with another cellmate.

[Jason]

Okay.

[David]

And like, he has.

[Jason]

Are you the guy in the story?

[David]

Yeah, that's me.

[Jason]

You wanted to have sex with your daddy? Yeah. Okay, sorry, guys.

[David]

I have peanut butter all over the couch. And so he has sex with him through the bars, and then he can't get back into his cell because he's.

[Alex]

Naked, covered in peanut butter.

[Jason]

Oh, this is a real story. He slipped through the cracks, though.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

With peanut butter.

[David]

I guess. He was skinny.

[Jason]

Wow, that's amazing.

[Alex]

And he, like, he watched it on the camera.

[Jason]

Oh, my God. Crazy. Are you not allowed to fuck the other cellmates?

[David]

I don't know.

[Alex]

I don't know. But he was saying, like, have you seen Prison Break?

[Jason]

No, it just like the way that.

[Alex]

Prison is portrayed, how like the. The inmates run everything. Pretty much like that's actually how it is.

[Jason]

Like in a real prison.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I mean. Yeah. Right? What do you mean? Everything?

[Alex]

I don't. Like, there's 250 of them and there's six guards on staff at one time. And there. There's like four hours of the day where they just roam around and roam around the courtyard.

[Jason]

Roam around. Like Target.

[David]

No.

[Jason]

But one of my favorite shows on Netflix is that guy that was wrongfully incarcerated. And he goes, I've never seen a series where I've seen every episode. And this guy goes to, like, the world's toughest prisons. I think that's what it's called. World's toughest prisons.

[David]

Yes.

[Jason]

Have you seen that show?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Jason]

So good. And like. Yeah, a lot of it is. I mean. Yeah. You have to be like gang associated. If you're in a prison, you have to pick your side. And there's like, depending on where prison is, there's like economies in the prison.

[David]

What's something you remember from that show?

[Jason]

Well, there was one prison. I don't know what country was in and I don't want to like throw out a random country was a third world country.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And some of the people in that prison have been there 15, 20 years. Yeah. Still awaiting trial. Holy. Like just people that have been like, accused of something and arrested 15, 20 years and they haven't been given their trial yet. How fucking insane is that? And they said that there are moments where they go to trial and they're completely not guilty and that's it. They're just let go. Could you imagine being convicted for something that you didn't do?

[David]

That's my worst fear. That's my worst fear is like, Naveen will die and I'll be accused of murder.

[Naveen]

He keeps thinking I'm gonna die and then everyone's gonna like, think it's him and he'll have to go to jail.

[David]

You keep saying you're gonn.

[Naveen]

That I'm gonna die.

[Jason]

Heard this before. Naveen, you do say you're gonna die a lot.

[Naveen]

I think I'm gonna die before Jason dies. Yeah. Like, I do believe Jason will be a widow.

[Jason]

But Jay, I do. You are. Will 100,000% be suspect number one?

[State Farm Announcer]

Of course.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Naveen]

Like, if I just die, like 100%.

[Jason]

The fucking jealous old guy. Cause the young woman wanted to be with somebody else. Yeah. It's like fucking. The writing's on the wall. Honestly, I'd put you in prison now. Yeah, Just preemptively. Yeah. Healers. Premeditated. I have a question for you. Okay, here we go. This is going to be tough. Are you ready, Jay?

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Let's say take my roommate, John.

[David]

Okay.

[Jason]

How do you feel about him? Love him. Love. Sure. How much?

[David]

100%?

[Jason]

Yeah, so much. Sure. Now let's say a being came down from the heavens. Whatever. 100%. You're convinced this isn't real? This is a real being. It's giving you proof that it is a cosmic force. It is a God. It is something from the heavens. And it goes. John Castro in 30 years will commit massive genocide.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And you are the only one that can stop it by killing him today.

[Alex]

It has to be today.

[Jason]

No, it has to be the next year, bro.

[David]

That's like some Charles Manson. Manson did really? Yeah. He's like, you gotta go kill these people because they're like evil.

[Jason]

Well, I'm just trying to think, what would you do? Oh, but this isn't. This isn't.

[David]

So how do I know that the source is good?

[Jason]

No, no, you know, the source is good. How?

[David]

Who is it?

[Jason]

The source is good.

[David]

The source is good.

[Jason]

It's a fucking. Obviously it's a made up story.

[David]

Okay.

[Jason]

Do you. Do you do it? Yeah. Really?

[Alex]

I mean, you have to.

[Jason]

I just feel like I wouldn't be able to do it even if.

[Alex]

How massive is this genocide?

[Jason]

I don't think he shows you the genocide and I don't think he shows you. You don't see it with your own eyes, so you can't actually calculate it. You only know the John that you know. Yeah, of course you would still do it.

[David]

Imagine having to do that. Like you're having the most boring conversation with John. He's like, hey, what's up, pal? Not much. John, how are you today? Oh, you know, pretty good. Just going out with Tay. We're gonna go to Target and you.

[Jason]

Know, you seen Ellie's gone. Well, I think why I bring up the question is, cause John's like, hey.

[David]

Oh, by the way, these Jews, huh? Fuck these Jews. I mean, they just kind of bothersome, don't you think?

[Jason]

No, true.

[David]

He is going to commit genocide.

[Jason]

No, I think about that question is because I think about. I think about baby Hitler. Sure. And like everyone, everyone when they go, when they think of time travel, they Think of the baby Hitler scenario.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Like, would you kill baby Hitler? But if you go back in time and you murder baby Hitler, you're just killing a random fucking kid, like a random baby, right? And like, probably, I mean, yeah. And you, you have, you're gonna have enough resentment where you have. Would have no fear in killing this baby, but everyone around you would be like, whoa, this guy just fucking curbstant this four year old. Do you know what I mean?

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

So, like, I guess that is kind of my question. It's like, would you kill baby Hillary or would you kill John? I don't know where I'm going. But my answer is I don't think I could.

[David]

Hey, just. Captain Genocide. John, what's going on?

[Natalie]

John?

[Jason]

John's here.

[David]

John, what are you planning?

[Jason]

Let's ask John the question. John, come here.

[John]

Yes.

[Jason]

Okay, so, John, I proposed this question. You weren't here, okay, that, let's say, let's say cosmic force came down, okay? And went to Jason and was like, jason, and. And this is, this is 100% real force, right? Like, you could tell it's a God, okay? You can tell. There's no denying that it's a God. The heavens open up, he lands. He's wearing a robe, everything, the whole thing. He has parachute sheets on his bed. He's living life. Okay? Goes up to Jason and goes, jason, you don't understand this now, but in 30 years, John Castro is going to commit genocide and you need to kill him now.

[John]

Damn.

[Jason]

Yeah, okay. And I asked Jason, I was like, would you do it? Yeah. Jason said no. Wow. Right? You said no.

[David]

I don't think I answered, but I'd have a hard time doing it. Yeah.

[Jason]

Alex said yes, he would kill you. What would you do? What would you want me to do? Yeah, what would you want me to do in that situation?

[John]

Well, which genocide?

[Jason]

You know what I mean?

[John]

There's different.

[Jason]

It's not real yet.

[John]

I know which which ones.

[Jason]

Okay, this is freaky. Starting to make me think, would you.

[David]

Tell John before you're gonna kill him? Like, John, I'm so sorry, you just kill him and not even say anything?

[Jason]

This is why I'm asking him right now, because no one's come to me yet with this. And I have a feeling if someone does come to me, they're gonna put the rule up where they're gonna be like, you can't tell them about it, you just have to do it. So now I'm telling you, it's completely fair game that I'm telling You beforehand. What do you want me to do if this ever happens to me?

[John]

I mean, like, how many people?

[Jason]

You know.

[David]

Honestly, genocide overall, like, you know, a million.

[Jason]

Genocide's a lot. But I'm gonna go with over 10 people. That's already, like. Okay, 10.

[John]

That's a genocide's like 10, John, for 10.

[Jason]

Thank you, Al.

[David]

Yeah, I'm out. That 10 people. John can kill 10 people.

[Jason]

No, no, no, I'm out.

[David]

You said genocide.

[Jason]

Okay? Guy comes down and he's like, john's gonna kill five people. Innocent people. I'm sorry. That's like. That's one. I don't know.

[David]

I don't know, man. John's a good time.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jason]

30 years. You know, like, have you ever heard that? Have you ever heard that? It's not a proverb. But what is it? That situation where there's. There's a train track.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And the train is hurling. Oh, we've talked about this here.

[Naveen]

No, I don't think so.

[Jason]

Where the train is hurling towards five people, it will kill five people. And you have the option to pull the lever and only kill one person. What?

[Naveen]

Do you remember that situation? Different, though.

[Jason]

What?

[Naveen]

It's like, on one side is your friend. It's. It's two people that you know, and the other side is like 200 people that you don't know them, but it's 200 people.

[Jason]

That's disgusting. That, like, makes my fucking bones irk. That's an impossible. That's impossible. Who are the two people? Is it Natalie?

[Naveen]

It's like the closest people to you.

[Jason]

Natalie and Ilya. Can I trade 100 for Natalie? Wow, that's really tough. Can I make it easier? Because I think the five two people is more realistic. Five. Okay. Five people. The train's going to Adam.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You can pull a lever and just goes towards one random person. What do you do?

[David]

Yeah, you. You pull it and it goes towards one.

[Jason]

But if you don't touch it, the whole thing behind this is you don't touch the lever. You have nothing to do with any of this. Right. But if you touch the lever, you are now an accomplice. You are not an accomplice. But you're like.

[David]

No, you're not. You were saving four people.

[Jason]

Okay. That's an interesting way to look at it.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Naveen, do you. Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, you're.

[Natalie]

So.

[Naveen]

You have the option to not choose.

[Jason]

Yeah. You have the option to not do anything. And just like, this is. But by design. This is fate.

[Naveen]

This is Oh, I would let fate. I don't mess with fate.

[Jason]

See? So that. That. I think people answer that differently now.

[David]

If it was John and Alex or 200 strangers, I'd save John and Alex.

[Jason]

Thank you. What?

[Naveen]

Yeah, I think that a lot of people would. And they don't admit that.

[Jason]

Yeah, I don't like thinking about that.

[David]

Dave, if you were there, it's you.

[Jason]

And it also depends how the train kills the 200 people.

[John]

Does it run them over?

[David]

Kills them quick?

[Jason]

Yeah. Okay. Does it run over 200 people like they're laying next to each other? Or is it.

[Naveen]

Yeah. And they're watching you choose.

[Jason]

Or. Or is it. Or is. Are. Are they all in a bomb strap building and the train hits the explosive and everybody blows up at the same time? Because that's different.

[John]

You see the first guy behind him, like, bang, bang, bang. It's like I'm 100 in line.

[Jason]

Like, John's starting to sound like he may actually be thinking about committing something. She walks the bone center.

[David]

Dave's on the.

[Jason]

And you stand on a mountain.

[David]

Dave's on one of the train tracks. And then there's 200 people. And I have to choose. And I'm like, the podcast.

[Jason]

I. I don't know what I would do. I have no answer to that. Even if it's hypothetical and it's, like, pretty lame for me not to answer. I have no idea. But, John. Okay, back to this. Yeah, back to this. God. Coming down. Okay. What would you want me to do? Committing genocide. I'm not gonna say how many people. Don't get caught up on that. Right, right. Okay. You're doing something really bad. Worker, middle horrible person in 30 years. I don't know what happened to your brain chemistry switches. Something happens. What do I do? What do you want me to do?

[John]

I said let me live for like, 10 more years.

[Jason]

No, can't be it.

[John]

Why?

[Jason]

Because the tourney port's gonna happen, and once I'm telling you I need to kill you through the next week, tell me quickly. What do I do it. Do it then. You know. Really? Yeah.

[David]

Hey, wait. Ask this question. Wait, wait, wait.

[Jason]

You are the person. Yeah.

[John]

He's like, not that guy.

[Home Depot Announcer]

Wait, what?

[Jason]

God was like, not that guy.

[John]

As your hands are, like, bloody.

[Jason]

No. Oh, like I killed the wrong John. No, no. It's for sure you.

[David]

There's only one John.

[Jason]

Yeah. You're one of a kind.

[David]

Wait, what was the question you asked me the other day? I. I felt guilty. How I answered it on the podcast. You said a billion Dollars. And I was saying, oh, world peace or a billion dollars?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And I felt bad how I answered it.

[Jason]

You said world peace.

[David]

No, I think you said a billion dollars.

[Jason]

You said a billion dollars.

[David]

Ask Naveen.

[Jason]

Naveen, would you rather have a billion dollars or world peace? And no one knows. You solved world peace, so you can't benefit off it monetarily.

[Naveen]

I think I would. If it was, like, my situation right now and I was with Jason, I would take the billion dollars, but. But help, like, so many people.

[Jason]

But world peace is, like, crazy.

[David]

But world peace, you would help way more people.

[Jason]

Wait, guys. I'm so sorry.

[David]

For sure.

[State Farm Announcer]

For sure.

[Jason]

I guess.

[Naveen]

I don't know, like, the parameters of.

[John]

Think about it.

[Jason]

Bill Gates has solved. Wait, guys, guys, guys, guys. This is insane. Am I just, like.

[David]

No, you're right.

[Jason]

It's like. It's world peace.

[David]

You're right.

[Jason]

Without a question.

[David]

You're right. I was just. I was just, like, answering Uber honestly guilty about it.

[Jason]

Okay.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah. You. You probably should. You should probably honestly reflect.

[David]

I have been.

[Jason]

That's a crazy thing. If you've truly solved world peace, it is genuinely world peace. It's not anything that anybody's uncomfortable with. It is genuinely divine. Holy, heavenly world peace. Like, all wars done, and there's no bullying done, and there's no reason for any of that. So I genuinely think it would be.

[Naveen]

Well, then, yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah, I think that question is, like, maybe one of the easiest layups of all time. A billion dollars or world peace? That's okay.

[David]

Billion's nice, though.

[Jason]

Billion is nice. But it would also.

[John]

World peace, like, does benefit you.

[David]

What are you talking about? You're gonna fucking commit genocide. Yeah, I'm not talking to you.

[Jason]

I want to be honest with you. I haven't had that conversation with anybody yet, so you're safe. Oh, thanks. Okay.

[David]

No one said anything to me about it. I had. No one's contacted me about it.

[Jason]

No one's reached out. I don't know why I'm laying in bed just, like, looking. He's on high alert for the next week.

[John]

If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen soon, right?

[Jason]

Dad sleeps with a knife under his face. I come in just to ask him, close the gate. He stabs me. You'd be here. This conversation actually leads him to spiral into genocide. No one could be trusted, especially the Slovaks. Dave asking me for water at the end of the night poisons it. All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Yeah.

[David]

Good job.

[Jason]

This was fun.

[David]

Good job today. What's the plan for tonight?

[Jason]

Celebrate.

[David]

Natalie, I'm stressed out, man. 10:30 party. I don't know what I'll do.

[Jason]

Well, you're gonna have to hang in there, Jay.

[David]

What do I do? What do I do?

[Jason]

We can talk off pod. It's over.

[David]

Okay.

[Jason]

All right. We'll see you guys later. Bye.