Finding Out You’re Someone’s Hall Pass

Summary

VIEWS with David Dobrik & Jason Nash

Summary: "Finding Out You’re Someone’s Hall Pass"

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

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Main Theme

This episode of "VIEWS" revolves around hilarious and often brutally honest discussions about relationships, love, awkward social encounters, and behind-the-scenes travel stories. The centerpiece is David’s uncomfortable experience at a wedding where he’s told he is someone’s “hall pass.” The conversation seamlessly weaves into topics like dating in LA, high expectations, exclusive dating, and prepping for a luxury adventure in South Africa. As always, David, Jason, Natalie, and guest Naveen blend unexpected candor with comedic banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Lost Episode and Sex Lists

• David and Jason joke about having to re-record the episode due to a technical glitch, noting their previous explicit discussion about "hall passes" and Jason's list of celebrities he'd hook up with if he could.
  • Notable quote:
    • Jason (02:25): “Yes, we went through all of them.”
    • David: “You listed 15 women."

2. Marriage, Weddings, and Finding Love

• Natalie brings up how weddings inspire thoughts on love and finding the "right person," while David resists, claiming it's nearly impossible in LA.
• Timestamps: 02:56–04:00
  • Natalie: “Don’t you think that it’s time for us to just find love? The root of everything is love. Finding your person, no matter what.” (02:56)
  • David: “[...] we go down this fucking dumb rabbit hole every three podcasts about finding love and how I go, it’s impossible in LA.” (03:10)

3. Why Weddings Turn People On

• The group discusses whether weddings make people especially “horny,” with Naveen suggesting women at weddings are often imagining themselves there.
• Timestamps: 05:04–05:54
  • Naveen: “I think women just think more. And when you're there, it's like, oh, the possibility of, like, oh, this could be me one day.” (05:10)

4. Wedding Etiquette and Dating Dynamics

• They delve into whether walking into weddings with an attractive friend ups someone’s social capital, to which David responds with typical awkwardness.
• Jason playfully grills David about his feelings when attending weddings with Natalie as his "date." (04:39)

5. The "Hall Pass" Story

[08:05–12:28]

David reveals someone at the wedding approached and said he was her “hall pass”—the one celebrity her husband would theoretically allow her to sleep with.

• David’s initial reaction is confusion and discomfort, unsure if the woman was serious or joking.
  • David: “Someone came up to me at the wedding and was like, you're my hall pass.” (08:05)
  • Jason: “That's the same thing as going, I want to fuck you.” (08:58)
• He is further flustered when introduced to the woman’s husband, unsure whether it’s a test or a genuine offer.
  • David: “If the husband is okaying it, you would do it. Yeah, if the husband's fine. I probably would—not this situation, but I think that's a really... it's like having sex on a plane.” (10:59)
• Natalie and the group analyze whether “hall passes” really mean anything and if celebrity attraction is always just for looks, not personality.
  • Natalie: “I don't think you're hall passing someone for their personality. You're hall passing someone...” (13:00)
• The group jokes about what it would be like if the situation actually went down, riffing on David’s potential awkwardness.

6. Dating Preferences, Commitment, and Modern Romance

[16:28–29:01]

• There’s a frank exchange on the challenge of building relationships in LA, with Natalie bemoaning the difficulty of meeting men who follow through, and Naveen providing her pragmatic strategy: casting a wide net.
• Naveen shares her intense year of dating: up to three dates a day, over 100 first dates in a year.
  • Naveen: "I was, like, literally going on, like, three dates a day for, like, a long stretch of time." (24:01)
• Importance of being direct: Naveen believes direct communication about wanting a serious relationship is key, while David suggests it’s refreshing and would actually attract many men.
  • David: “Like, if the girl was like, ‘I’ve had a lot of fun, but I’m only looking for something super serious,’ right now especially, I’d be like, fuck yeah. This is so exciting.” (22:39)
  • Naveen: “I went on a date with that, like, I liked every time I was forward, it was like, it just moved it forward.” (23:22)

7. Exclusivity, Red Flags, and Building Relationships

• The group debates when couples should become exclusive—Naveen argues “by the third date, you should know.”
  • Naveen: “I think, like, third date you should know if you just want to see each other.” (28:26)
• She warns against constantly “swiping left” due to minor flaws in potential partners, advocating for a basic period of commitment before judging incompatibility.
  • Naveen: “If you're dating multiple people at once, when someone says something off [...] you're more likely to throw someone away for, like, a misunderstanding.” (27:51)

8. The Awkwardness of Bathroom Etiquette

[43:27–47:41]

• The hosts launch into a lengthy, hilarious digression about being self-conscious about pee sounds, with both David and Natalie admitting tactics to minimize stream noise.
  • Notable comedic moment:
    • David: "Her piss reached terminal velocity for sure. It couldn't have gone faster unless you shot out of a gun." (44:44)
  • Techniques include throwing down tissue first, aiming for the side of the bowl, and even imagining peer-to-peer reviews in public restrooms.

9. Upcoming Trip to South Africa: The Celebrity Safari

[32:41–43:41]

• David and Natalie detail an extravagant vacation organized by the "Beyond Group," including helicopter trips, feeding orphaned baby rhinos, playing with cheetah cubs, and stargazing with Africa's biggest telescope.
  • David: “We helicopter straight away to orphaned baby rhinos. We learn about the program, prepare milk feeds and feed the calves.” (34:56)
• Natalie notes that the "mobile safari" setup includes luxury tent camping, which David is reluctant to embrace due to past traumatic insect and bathroom stories.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being someone’s “hall pass”:

  • David (08:11): “And I didn't know. I don't know. She was, she's definitely, like, pretty... Like five foot four, brunette, brown eyes. I assume. Yeah, I'm describing Ally.”
  • Jason (08:58): “That's the same thing as going, ‘I want to fuck you.’”
  • David (11:16): “How many times does somebody say, ‘you're their hall pass’? That is like a strictly celebrity exclusive thing that happens. So not many people. It's like getting to walk on the moon.”

• On dating in LA:

  • Naveen (24:01): "I was, like, literally going on, like, three dates a day for, like, a long stretch of time."
  • David (22:39): “If the girl was like, I have. I've had a lot of fun, but like, I'm only looking for something super serious. Like right now especially, I'd be like, fuck, yeah.”

• On bathroom awkwardness:

  • David (44:44): “Her piss reached terminal velocity for sure. It couldn't have gone faster. Unless you shot out of a gun.”

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• The Wedding & Hall Pass Story: 08:05–12:28
• Modern Dating Advice & Strategies: 16:28–29:01
• Exclusivity & Red Flags: 27:51–29:01
• Planning the South Africa Trip: 32:41–43:41
• Bathroom Etiquette Riff: 43:27–47:41

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Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, uproariously funny, and laced with self-aware, sometimes crude observations. The group’s chemistry keeps the conversation casual, honest, and frequently unserious—even when discussing vulnerable topics like dating anxieties or feeling out of place. The playful ribbing between co-hosts makes even awkward or embarrassing stories feel lighthearted and relatable. As always, listeners get a window into messy, laugh-out-loud real-life conversations that happen off camera.

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For New Listeners

If you missed the episode, this is a wild, behind-the-scenes ride through awkward wedding moments, real talk about the struggles (and volume!) of dating, and prepping for luxury travel—with the brutally honest, clownish, and charming banter that makes "VIEWS" so distinct. The “hall pass” moment is a classic Dobrik story: simultaneously flattering, shame-inducing, and comic gold.

Transcript

[Natalie]

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[Narrator/Announcer]

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[Natalie]

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[Narrator/Announcer]

USA Inc. New York, NY fails to save the Universe is about Stuart Bloom, who ran the comic book shop on the Big Bang Theory and now has to restore reality after he accidentally causes a multiverse Armageddon on the Stewart Fails to Save the Universe podcast. Hear from the creators, cast and crew as they unpack each episode after it airs on HBO Max. Watch the Stewart Fails to Save the Universe Official podcast on HBO Max YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

[Natalie]

Views.

[David]

What's up guys? Welcome back to Views. We are back with a brand new episode.

[Jason]

Nice.

[David]

This is the second time we are doing this specific episode because the card got corrupted. Jason's wife is here. Does your wife have a mic? Oh yeah, his wife Naveen. That's weird. Jay that the episode where we talked about all the other women you'd have

[Narrator/Announcer]

Stewart Fails to Save the Universe is about Stuart Bloom who ran the comic book shop on the Big Bang Theory and now has to restore reality after he accidentally causes a multiverse Armageddon on the Stuart Fails to Save the Universe podcast. Hear from the creators, cast and crew as they unpack each episode after it airs on HBO Max. Watch the Stewart Fails to Save the Universe Official podcast on HBO Max YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jason]

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[David]

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[Jason]

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[David]

Anyone can build one.

[Naveen]

Even you.

[Jason]

Try it. Create your first Monday agent today at Monday.com.

[David]

sex with not your wife.

[Jason]

Yes, we went through all of them.

[David]

What happened? You listed 15 women.

[Jason]

I know, it's crazy.

[David]

From shortest to tallest in the last

[Jason]

it was a salacious episode.

[David]

And it was a good episode too.

[Jason]

Never hear it Naveen. Unfortunately.

[David]

I'm so sorry.

[Naveen]

It's okay.

[David]

You should have heard this man go off.

[Jason]

No wonder you can't get laid. Natalie, why on the biggest.

[David]

Yeah, yeah. Well, okay, so that's something we talked about. The card actually did get corrupted. All jokes aside, one of our main points that we brought up.

[Natalie]

Well, I was saying that how in the Spider man movie, my takeaway from Spider man was like, don't you think that it's time for us to just find love? The root of everything is love. Finding your person, no matter what.

[David]

Okay, can I just say, before we go down this fucking dumb rabbit hole, we go every three podcasts about finding love and how I go, it's impossible in la. And then you go, don't bring me down there, Dave. And I go, you have no choice. I own you. And then. Can we just not do that?

[Natalie]

Did it not make you feel that, though? We don't have to do that.

[David]

But I'm saying, like, I get it. And what's your fucking argument? Yeah, sure. Give me love right now somewhere. Okay. Yeah, he's ready. Not from that, but I'm just saying, like, why are you saying that? Why are you making it sound.

[Natalie]

Because right now, like, I have shut

[David]

the gate on love.

[Natalie]

Well, because you have. The fact that you verbalize it so often means that it's not an open gate. I'm saying the gate needs to be. I actually don't give a fuck what you do. I'm just talking about myself.

[David]

Well, this is. This is where we got into talking about it because we were recently at a wedding, and I was wondering, like, at weddings, apparently, like, the women are, like, super horny, like, love me swimming. Like, and I never feel that. I never feel that at all.

[Natalie]

Because you're, like, this, like, weird anomaly of a person where, like, you're constantly surrounded by, like, women, beautiful women. Like, you don't need to, like.

[David]

Are you trying to refer to yourself here?

[Naveen]

Yes.

[David]

You're saying. Cause I have.

[Natalie]

Because I'm here.

[Jason]

You are around him a lot.

[David]

Really? You think you're so hot that no woman could ever turn me on at a wedding.

[Jason]

Do you feel cool walking into a wedding with Natalie on your arm? Um, like, when she's all dressed up.

[David]

Oh, wait, what? No. Oh, wait. Yeah. Wait, I don't know how to answer this. Why am I confused?

[Jason]

You're like, wait, we're not dating. I can say whatever the fuck I want.

[David]

Yeah. For a second, I was like, oh, my God, I'm offending her. I was like, wait, Natalie, it's good

[Jason]

we have Naveen here today because she is like, really positive about this stuff.

[Naveen]

Yeah.

[David]

Well, Naveen, how do you feel women. Women, more so than men, get turned on during weddings?

[Naveen]

Well, I think women just think more. And when you're there, it's like, oh, the possibility of, like, oh, this could be me one day.

[David]

It's like, I wonder, like, what percentage of people actually end up meeting people at weddings. It's gotta be somewhat. Somewhat high.

[Natalie]

No, a lot.

[Naveen]

Really?

[David]

Wow. Okay. So then, were you on the prowl when we went to this last wedding?

[Natalie]

No, that's only because I was, like, so hungover from your birthday. So I was, like, really sad because it was like, this wedding was incredible.

[David]

It was weird how, like, I don't.

[Natalie]

Like, I was so tired.

[David]

Yeah. She was, like, sticking with me and normally she's like, I'm gonna go try to fuck somebody.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Naveen]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Like.

[David]

But, like, she was, like, right by my side the whole wedding.

[Jason]

Use that language.

[Natalie]

I, like, don't. I don't know why.

[David]

You'd actually be kind of surprised.

[Jason]

Really? Sailor mouth.

[Natalie]

Okay, well, I do say some stuff, like, just to be funny. Like, I'll, like, be in the. I'm gonna go fuck that guy, you know, just to, like, egg him on. I don't, like. I would never say that to, like, literally anybody else.

[Narrator/Announcer]

No.

[David]

No. Yeah. I mean, she's just like, locker room talking with me just to make. Just to make me feel at home.

[Jason]

If you walked into, like, your hotel room on a trip and Nat was in your bed with another guy, would you high five her?

[David]

High five Nat. She's, like, mid having sex.

[Jason]

No. Like, maybe it's done, but you just catch her. They're. They've got. They're covered.

[David]

Wait.

[Jason]

For sure.

[David]

Well, yeah.

[Jason]

Would you give her a high five? What would you do?

[David]

Well, I would. I love, like, the breakdown. Oh, like Alex kissed the girl the other day.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And we were all at. We were all sitting, like, before the movie started. And I didn't start the night, like, really religious about my movie nights, but I wouldn't start it because I was like, well, you know, give us the fucking play by play. And he was, like, really weird about, like, he, like, couldn't describe it. I'm like, well, who leaned in? What was the exact. Like, what were the last words before the first kiss happened? Like, how did that happen and how long was it? Was it like, lip lock or was it just like. And then goodbye?

[Jason]

You get the real breakdown. Are you hugging a pillow when you're asking this?

[David]

Yeah, I'm playing with.

[Jason]

Tell me everything.

[David]

Else I'm playing with myself. No, I, Yeah, I don't know. He didn't do a good job, which is kind of frustrating. He's like, honestly not. Cause he's, like, shy about it, but he just, like, didn't remember it. And I was like, what the fuck? What does that even mean, you don't remember? Anyway, sorry, I hate to sidetrack here. So this wedding, what was it making you feel like?

[Natalie]

Well, it was such a nice wedding. Like, these were two very wealthy individuals that were getting married and having a beautiful wedding.

[David]

And Natalie's all about the fucking, how deep the pockets are at the wedding.

[Jason]

If they were poor, would you have said that?

[Natalie]

I don't know if I would have been scouting at that wedding.

[Jason]

She's broke, motherfucker.

[David]

What the fuck? You have turned into a sick fucking individual.

[Jason]

I know, I know.

[David]

Okay, well, at least you're admitting it.

[Natalie]

No, I'm kidding. But. So I don't know. What the fuck was I thinking? I wasn't thinking anything. I was like, I'm so excited for her. She looks gorgeous. The wedding is stunning, but I am so hungover right now, I want to die.

[David]

Someone came up to me at the wedding and was like, you're my hall pass.

[Natalie]

Oh, yeah.

[David]

And, and I didn't know. I don't know. She was, she's definitely, like, pretty.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[David]

Like five foot four, brunette, brown eyes. I assume. Yeah, I'm describing Ally.

[Natalie]

It was Natalie.

[David]

It was Natalie. But she, yeah, she said it. She said, she goes, you're my whole.

[Jason]

Wow.

[David]

That's how she said it.

[Naveen]

Whoa.

[David]

And I'm like, oh, oh.

[Jason]

Like, the first thing she says is, you're my hall pass.

[David]

Like, right away, she like, you're. I'm. And I'm like, what? And she's like, you're. I, I, I told my husband that if I could have sex with one person, it would be you. Yeah, you're my help ass.

[Natalie]

That's crazy.

[David]

And then I'm like, starting to, like, I'm getting a little bit, like, panicked about it. I'm flustered.

[Jason]

That's the same thing as going, I want to fuck you.

[Natalie]

I mean, basically.

[David]

Basically, yeah. I also don't know, like, what was I, your hall pass? Like, five years ago when I was posting three times a week.

[Jason]

Hey, don't sell yourself short, man.

[David]

No, like, I don't know.

[Jason]

One would argue you're more attractive now.

[David]

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

[Naveen]

Right.

[Jason]

You're really growing into yourself. You had that surgery.

[Natalie]

I was trying to fuck you.

[David]

Yeah. And Natalie wasn't around me. I was alone at the bar.

[Natalie]

Well, that was the thing. David comes back from this interaction back to the table, like. Like he saw a ghost. Like, just mortified. And I was like, what? He's like, you need to come with me right now. And I was like, why? Like, I don't know what could have happened in the five minutes we were apart, maybe less. And he was like, this girl said, she's my hall pass. I need you to talk to her. And I was like, what the fuck am I going to say?

[David]

Well, I was all. I was also, like, wanted Natalie to talk to her because I was like, I need her to say it to another person. I don't know if she's fucking with me. And like, I think she was serious. I don't know if she was serious because that. Cuz that's some. Okay, this is what happened. Then her husband came over and she was like. She was like, babe, babe, this is. And then like, she started talking. I was like, I'm so sorry, I can't.

[Natalie]

And I just.

[David]

And that's when I left. I couldn't.

[Jason]

Did you tell him, Ben?

[David]

I could pack and then tell if

[Jason]

you want to fucking.

[David]

No, that's how I.

[Jason]

You walked away. You don't know what happened?

[David]

No, because as I was. As I was leaving. Yeah, she was like pulling me. She's like, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And I'm like, I don't know if you're kidding because you really fucking sold it.

[Natalie]

I just don't know why you were uncomfortable in that moment. Like, why I was so like, oh,

[Jason]

no, I'm totally with David. I'd be so uncomfortable.

[David]

Well, because I don't know how to react because I'm like, okay, listen, like, if this is like, real.

[Natalie]

Oh, you like, you're like. You're just like.

[David]

I'm like sussing and I'm like, this. I. If this is real, I could be down. Like, I need your husband to be like, I need this to be real. I don't need to. I can't be like, I don't want to go behind the husband's back.

[Naveen]

Yeah, I don't think you would.

[David]

Oh, no. If the husband is okaying it, you would do it. Yeah, if the husband's fine. I probably really not this situation. But like, I think that's like a really.

[Natalie]

In general.

[David]

Yeah, I think. I think that's like a fun. Like, it's like having sex on a plane, right? Like, it's like one of those things. Like, it's a crazy story.

[Jason]

A one off.

[David]

Yeah. It's like. Yeah. It's like, definitely, like, I wouldn't act on this all the time, but, like, how many times does somebody say, you're their host? That is like a strictly celebrity exclusive thing that happens. So not many people. It's like getting to walk on the moon.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Someone coming up to you and being like, hey, yeah.

[Jason]

Okay. So the husband's like, yo, man, you should tap that. Definitely.

[David]

It's.

[Jason]

It's her dream.

[Natalie]

When I came back into the conversation, I got brought back to the bar and the husband and all her friends were there. Now everyone's like, talking about the fact that David is in the hall pass. The girl's talking to me.

[David]

I don't think it was like that. Was it like that? Yeah. Yeah.

[Natalie]

Oh, God. The girl's talking to me and she's like, I think I scared him. Like, I'm just like that, you know? Like, I. You know. But he, like. I don't know. He doesn't need to be, like, freaked out. I'm not like a scary person or something like that. Like that. My husband's right there. Like, he's. He's really chill. He doesn't give a fuck. And I was like, okay.

[David]

Also, wait, what did you deter.

[Natalie]

And the husband was just dancing in the dance four months.

[David]

Did you think it was real? Because then the bride texted me like, a week later, which is a couple days ago, and was like, there was this girl. There was this girl there, and you were her hall pass. And I was like, what the fuck?

[Natalie]

I think that it definitely was real to some extent, which is why she said it.

[David]

And then it just kind of was like, it freaked me out. And then it's Arak.

[Natalie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David]

She thought it was Arak. We're having sex. She's like, arak. I'm like, oh, my God. Yes, it's me.

[Natalie]

Yes.

[Jason]

Can you go hide somewhere in the hotel? Can you sneak in? Can you sneak into the hotel for me?

[David]

That's really funny. Yeah.

[Jason]

I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think if I was in that situation, what I would do

[David]

if you were someone. Well, you're in a relationship, so it's gonna be a little tough for you.

[Jason]

Yeah. Or I'm trying to think like, Naveen, you have a. I don't know if you have.

[David]

Naveen has a hall pass.

[Naveen]

I don't have a hall pass because I genuinely believe I could sleep with anyone.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Right.

[David]

But you don't tell Jason that.

[Jason]

Yes, she does.

[Natalie]

She just told me.

[Naveen]

I think every. Like, I think if you have a hall pass, it's like, so someone. That's why it's so flattering that she had you. It's like, someone that. It's so. It would be so insane in the same room as this person.

[David]

Yeah.

[Naveen]

That if you do find yourself with them, sleep with them. Like, that's crazy.

[David]

Exactly. And that's why I was like. That's why I was like, either this isn't. That's why I really. I was like, this doesn't feel. It's keep real. Like, out of every human being.

[Natalie]

Well, that's the part where. That's the part that trips me up as well.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I was like, she doesn't know your personality, man. Huh.

[Naveen]

I don't know.

[Natalie]

I think I would just stop at the looks and then like, yeah, like,

[David]

if I. I have to. If I want a hall pass. I don't think you're hall passing someone for their personality. You're all passing someone.

[Natalie]

I'm like, oh, no offense, but I'm not looking at you being like, oh, he's gonna take me around town and give me a good time.

[David]

He's definitely not.

[Jason]

Yeah. But here's.

[David]

I'll tell you that if anybody has. If there's anybody that still has me,

[Natalie]

where they're all listed, which finger goes where and how many? Like, I don't know.

[David]

I use all five.

[Natalie]

Exactly.

[David]

I mean, it's like a game for me.

[Jason]

If it did. If it did happen. If it did happen, I could see it going like, okay, David's my hall pass. Oh, my God, David, I'm so glad. And then when you. When that. But when she got into the hotel room, it could go so weird and sideways, like, right away. Like, David, be like, is it okay if we put this light on, but that. This light off. Could we put the shades.

[Natalie]

Like this.

[David]

Hold on.

[Jason]

Is my breath. Let me put her out of the bathroom. Does my breath stink? Okay, let me. Let me get some gum. Let me chew this gum for a couple of minutes.

[David]

Wait, you're. You're saying that she would think that.

[Jason]

No, that, like, the reality of it. Like, she sees you online, she thinks you're a cool dude. But I'm saying the reality. The reality of it, when you were in that situation, all kinds of shit would go wrong. I'm sure, like, the awkwardness of it.

[David]

Oh, I think it's actually better.

[Jason]

You think he'd go in there and be Dr.

[Natalie]

Smooth so much pressure.

[Jason]

Yeah, you do. Well, you don't know him.

[David]

Wait, wait, wait. I'm so confused. I think it's backwards. I think she. And I don't even, like. I think online I would appear to know a little bit less. Like, I know what I would be doing. And then I'm not even trying to hide myself up, but I feel like if she liked me, I think she would like me, because she'd be like, oh, this guy's never.

[Natalie]

Well, walk us through it. Like,

[David]

I always take my socks off first.

[Natalie]

Shut the fuck up. My God.

[David]

And I go, screw it. Where you want this little piggy to go?

[Natalie]

Ew.

[David]

I'm kidding. That's disgusting. No, it's enough to talk about that. Anyway. Yeah, I don't get the same feeling of horniness at weddings. I don't know. I'm trying to think about, like, where I am the most turned on. I. It's probably, like. Probably like, a flight, but that's just the elevation.

[Natalie]

A flight?

[Jason]

Yeah, the elevation does do something to you.

[David]

The. Oh, oh, oh. Every time I land in the us

[Natalie]

that's when you're horny.

[David]

That is when I am, like, most into wanting to hook up with a girl. I never want to hook up with anybody when I am just here doing my thing. But then when I land back, it's patriotic. Jason said. But then when I land back in America, this man loves this country. I think it's because I'm in foreign countries.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And I, like, really like the girls there, but I don't act on it.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

So like, that carries over to when I land, and I'm like, I gotta meet somebody.

[Jason]

But you act on it in foreign countries. I feel like. I feel like maybe like, Naveen read my chart, my astrological chart, and it said that the only successful relationship I would have would be with someone who wasn't born in the U.S. where were you born, Naveen?

[Naveen]

Lebanon.

[David]

Oh, nice, Nice.

[Jason]

But maybe that's true for you, too, because your roots are, like, somewhere else.

[David]

I don't know about that, Really. I don't like hooking up in different countries.

[Jason]

Okay, don't hook up. But I mean, like, maybe you're. You know, maybe you can meet a girl when you're on your trip sometime and stay in touch. That's all.

[David]

I mean, I can't do that, really.

[Jason]

Something tells me he would be with, like, a European girl.

[David]

I met this girl, it was, like, a year ago, and she. I talked to her, like, right before she left on a trip to go to she's going to Italy.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And she's going for a full month. And I met her five days before she left, and she texted me four days before she left.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

And she's like, hey, can we. Can we, like, like, grab dinner or something? Can we hang out? She, like, asked me out on a date. I was like, obviously, I'm terrified of dinner dates. So I was like, yeah, I'll pick you up. We'll just, like, hang out, whatever. And it went well. And I kissed her.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

And that was it. But then I told her. I was like, this is okay. So I was actually really transparent with her. I was like, maybe even too much. I was like. I was like, can we just hang out when you're back? Because I don't want to, like, like. And I know I'm, like, thinking too far ahead here.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And this was just, like, a girl I just, like, met out. I'm like, if there's any chance that I like you, I don't want to like you before you go somewhere for a full month.

[Naveen]

Oh.

[David]

So I was like, can we just do this?

[Natalie]

Like, wait, has she come back yet?

[David]

Yeah, she came back. This was a while ago, and. And she left, and then she texted me, and I just couldn't keep up. I was like, I couldn't do it. So I didn't talk to her for, like, a month. And then she came back, and I was, like, kind of already, like, my mind was, like, gone. And that's. Yeah.

[Jason]

It sounds like you're putting up some roadblocks.

[David]

No, there's no roadblocks. I just can't, like, keep up with someone from out of the country. I just. I don't like texting.

[Jason]

Right.

[David]

Calling is, like. Calling, I think, is reserved for someone that I actually, like, love. Love?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, when it gets down the road, I just can't do that. I can't, like.

[Jason]

But even long distance, even saying that, like, hey, let's do this when you get back. It's kind of like, why don't you just kind of, like, go with the flow?

[David]

Oh, I did. That's why I ended up hanging out with her before she left. Oh, sorry. And then, yeah, we hung out before she left, and I kissed her, and I was, like, really into her.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And I was like. I told her right there. I was like, fuck, this is exactly what I was talking about. Like, I'm so excited. I want to hang out with you, like, in three days. But, like, I know this is gonna evaporate the second you leave. And it did. I don't know. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe that's something I need to work on, but.

[Naveen]

Well, I think next time you have to, like, follow your gut and just not see them before they leave.

[David]

Yeah, I think that's what I'm gonna do next time, but. How's been your day in life? Dude, that's you.

[Jason]

Nat.

[Natalie]

Oh, shit.

[Jason]

We were talking to.

[Natalie]

I thought you're gonna be.

[David]

I was. That's why I said you.

[Natalie]

All right.

[David]

Hey, before your Q3 call, I've got the campaign brief ready. Built from last quarter's data and the competitive landscape.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Great.

[Natalie]

Did you include the differentiation angle the CMO asked for?

[David]

Already in there. Three angles. No competitors using right now. Just need your approval.

[Natalie]

Approved.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Thanks.

[Natalie]

Oh, agents. Where would we be without you?

[Jason]

Hmm?

[David]

Somewhere with a lot more tabs open.

[Natalie]

Create your first Monday agent [e-mail].

[Jason]

We were talking to Natalie earlier about going out on dates and, like, casting a wider net. Like, going out a lot and, like, seeing, like, lots of people. That's what Naveen did.

[David]

What do you mean? What did you do?

[Naveen]

Well, I just, like, made a decision to, like, wait.

[David]

How long did you live in LA for? Sorry.

[Naveen]

Like, 15 years.

[David]

Okay. Wow. So you're dating here for a while?

[Naveen]

Yeah.

[David]

Okay, sorry. Go now.

[Naveen]

Yeah, but I took, like, two years where I was, like, I'm gonna be, like, so serious about dating. And so, like, I just said yes to everyone. And, like, I went on like, three dates a day sometimes. Like, I was just always out.

[David]

Are you still playing that game with Jason? Saying yes. Saying yes. That's why you're stuck with Jason.

[Jason]

Yeah, I usually leave in the middle of the day, go down to Starbucks, then she'll call me when she's done.

[David]

Wait, that's crazy.

[Natalie]

But, like, how. I don't even understand. Understand how you got to a point where there were even that many men that were putting themselves out there enough to ask you on a date? Because that's the thing is, like, I talk to guys. I mean, I know that Naveen's a different looking woman.

[David]

Well, no, no, I'm laughing. I just think that's, like, a funny way to.

[Jason]

Well, this is. This is a good question.

[Natalie]

Like, I don't understand.

[David]

Did you just ask her, like, why are guys approaching. Like, how are so many guys approaching her?

[Natalie]

No, it's not. Not even approaching. I get approached by men, okay? I'm not like, some fucking gremlin.

[David]

All right, chill.

[Jason]

But I think.

[Natalie]

But I just like to get them to act to Commit to asking you out is thing.

[Jason]

I think you have to really, like, guys are really dumb.

[Naveen]

And I think, like, yeah, the more you can be.

[Natalie]

Yeah, you have to.

[Jason]

You have to, like, tell them. You have to be like, this is great talking. If you want, you know, if you want to take me on a date, that's great.

[David]

I feel like you don't do that. Do you tell guys. Are you like, hey, listen, I'm just. I'm looking for something serious.

[Jason]

I'm looking to meet my person.

[David]

You should spook someone.

[Natalie]

I should just start scaring people.

[David]

Like, if a girl told me.

[Natalie]

I don't. That's fine.

[Jason]

I get.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

Oh, yeah, you should say that. Like, if. If, like, I wasn't just trying to hook up with someone at a bar. Yeah, if, like, a girl was just, like, straight up, like, listen, I think you're cool and I've had really fun, but I don't want to do this.

[Natalie]

You've really fun.

[David]

Wait, what?

[Natalie]

I've had really funny.

[Jason]

This is turning into a minion.

[David]

I had really fun banana.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Natalie, I'm getting laid.

[Natalie]

Excuse me.

[David]

What are you saying? Get away. Go get back.

[Jason]

The groom.

[David]

What? Anyway, yeah, if the girl was like, I have. I've had a lot of fun, but, like, I. I'm only looking for something super serious. Like right now especially, I'd be like, fuck, yeah. This is so exciting. Like, I don't want to. I like it. I like that you tell me exactly what you want. And it would actually. Yeah. And I'd be like. I'd be like, now I know I'm not wasting my time and you're not fucking around. And we're locked in here. Even though this is like, some stupid first date that we had. Like, it's just nice to know that, like, you're. You're not doing this just to, like, get a fuck. Like, you know what I mean?

[Naveen]

Oh, my gosh.

[Natalie]

I don't like that language.

[Jason]

Sorry.

[David]

Like, you know, I mean, don't go to.

[Natalie]

Okay, so what do you suggest? Like, what do I say? How do I be more forward? So I'm definitely not forward, everyone.

[Naveen]

I went on a date with that, like, I liked every time I was forward, it was like, it just moved it forward.

[Natalie]

No, I'm like, how did you get on the date?

[Naveen]

I. So I lived on Sweetser in West Hollywood. There's, like, a lot of single men on that street. But I also just forced myself. Like, I went out every day to do stuff. And, like, I would talk to people or dating apps I, like. I think I dated everyone on a dating app at one point. Like, everyone.

[David]

How many dating apps? Sorry. How many dates did you go on in one year?

[Naveen]

I was, like, literally going on, like, three dates a day for, like, a long stretch of time.

[David]

Shut the fuck up.

[Naveen]

Like, it was, like, a lot. Like, it was a crazy number of dates.

[David]

Shut the fuck up.

[Naveen]

Yeah.

[David]

Wait for how many days a week?

[Natalie]

I'm speechless.

[Naveen]

A lot. Like, it was like.

[David]

Do you think you went over a hundred? Over a hundred dates in a year? In a year, for sure. Wow. What?

[Naveen]

I just, like, wanted to see a

[David]

hundred dates in one year.

[Naveen]

I'm sure.

[David]

Okay. And how. This may be too much, but how many of those did you kiss?

[Naveen]

Well, so that's the thing. Like, I don't. I'm not a super. Like, I'm not intimate unless I'm, like, with someone. So it's more so just getting to know people.

[David]

Right. Well, that's what I imagine. You can't go on three dates and you're hooking up with people.

[Naveen]

All of them?

[David]

Yeah. No, I slept with all of them.

[Natalie]

How often? Like, let's say you go on a date with something, you go on the first date, how often would that turn into a second date?

[Naveen]

Second date? I would say pretty often, but then, like, that's when you kind of know, and then it's like, no.

[David]

And how many dates would you. How many second dates would you continuously. Would have you ever had three, four second dates in the same week?

[Naveen]

I don't think so.

[David]

And were you really open when you dated Jason, first date, or. I know you guys, like, first date and then came back. Whatever.

[Naveen]

Yeah.

[David]

When you guys came back to try it again, were you dating anyone at the same time? Like, were you going on a date with anyone that night?

[Naveen]

No. No, no, no, no.

[David]

Oh, really?

[Naveen]

When I came back and Jason and I went on that date, we became boyfriend girlfriend.

[Jason]

Yeah. She told me right then and there on the date. She's like, so, look, you want to be boyfriend, girlfriend? And I was like, what? I've never heard that in my life. I couldn't believe it. I thought it was you. I told you that?

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I thought. I literally thought you were behind a bush. I was like, damn. And now tell him.

[David]

Tell the fucking idiot. You want to dance?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

I literally was. In my mind, I was like, damn, Dave, you are good. I was like, this is good.

[David]

Well, that's just.

[Jason]

It was real.

[David]

That just goes to show how nice that is, Nat, her saying that. Now they're Married. I mean, you really. Fuck it. Search. How did you know that Jason was the guy, though? I don't get. I know he's great, but, like, you met a lot of guys.

[Naveen]

Something. Like, even, like, before COVID stuff happened when we went on dates. Like, we really, like, got along. Like.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[David]

How many dates did you go on before COVID hit?

[Natalie]

Three, I think.

[Naveen]

Three.

[David]

Okay. And did you guys, like, ever have a kiss there or anything?

[Naveen]

Yeah, we kissed, and then we. I didn't sleep with him for two years.

[Jason]

Yeah. No.

[David]

Just because you guys stopped talking, that's not important.

[Jason]

No, no, we didn't.

[Naveen]

I just like how it sounds.

[Jason]

No, we didn't. We didn't have sex the first time around for that. Those first three dates. No. And then you disappeared. And then she told me she would take care of me while I got a hip surgery.

[Naveen]

No.

[Jason]

And then I called her when I had hip surgery and not to be found.

[David]

Oh, wow. That's really funny. It's like, the worst thing.

[Jason]

I think you had already left.

[Naveen]

I'd left.

[Jason]

Oh, you were dating someone.

[Naveen]

I had invited you.

[Jason]

You did. She. She. During COVID she invited me to, like,

[Naveen]

to travel, and he said no. So I was like, my person would have left.

[Jason]

Yeah, I was too scared.

[Naveen]

And then I remember, like, he has kids. He had a bad hip. Like, and a lot of people were so scared during COVID Wow. I couldn't fall.

[David]

Were you. But were you, like, if you heard one thing that was wrong, would you, like, on a date, would you be like, nope, not this person. This isn't like, this tulum thing. Like, my person would have left. What you just said would. Would that happen to you multiple times on a date where they said one little weird thing and you'd be like, that's not happening.

[Naveen]

It depends what the thing is. But that's why I believe you should make. You should be like, boyfriend, girlfriend with someone. Because I think if you're dating multiple people at once, when someone says something off, you're having a bad day, you're like, eh, okay, I'm done with him. Next person. So you, like, are more likely to throw someone away for, like, a misunderstanding.

[David]

Okay. That's why you think you should give people a bigger chance.

[Naveen]

I think you should be, like, exclusive, like, no one's dating someone else. And then, like, see where it goes. If it doesn't work, then you break up.

[David]

And when do you become exclusive? You think from the first date?

[Naveen]

No, I think first. I think, like, third date, you should know if you just want to See each other. I think people go like six months and they're like, what are we like? I think that's.

[David]

I know. I actually totally agree with that. The third date sounds about right.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

Like you're on the third date hanging

[Naveen]

out with someone three times. Like, you kind of know.

[David]

Yeah. You have some sort of feel. Was what was the biggest thing you had to overlook with Jason? Was there like an ick or was there something he said, even something stupid like, I like space. And you were like, space. Anything. Anything stupid that you found, like, kind of icky that you had to like.

[Naveen]

I don't think so.

[David]

Really?

[Naveen]

I'm trying to think.

[Jason]

Wow. No, there was. She didn't have any faults either. Not that I could see.

[David]

So, Jay, were you asking to be

[Jason]

Dave's? Like, I could give you a list. Have you seen this davine? He takes his shoes off and is it wearing socks?

[David]

That's amazing. And yeah, like, when you hear like, Natalie go like, jason, your feet are disgusting. Or like, how do you do it? This is disgusting. Like, what do you think to yourself? Naveen, are you.

[Natalie]

She can't smell it.

[Jason]

I don't think we had her olfactory's taken out.

[David]

You've lost some of your senses.

[Naveen]

I think if you think someone smells bad, then you're not supposed to like, have a baby with them. Like, it's like your body telling you so.

[David]

Like, I don't know, like, okay, sorry, Nat. I guess no kids are tripping.

[Jason]

She has gotten me to wear socks.

[Naveen]

I think you should wear socks.

[David]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Naveen, you're a life changer.

[Jason]

And pretty soon, deodorant.

[Natalie]

I mean, his feet haven't smelled in a really long time.

[Jason]

Because I'm like, I literally will be getting. You guys will say you want to do the pod and then I'll yell at her. I'll be like, get these socks.

[Naveen]

I don't want Natalie to say anything.

[Natalie]

I'm like, what does she say?

[Jason]

Like, clean ones. Clean ones. Clean socks. And smell the shoes. Smell the shoes. I don't want to piss off Natalie

[David]

Lamb, so you really have to overthink it when you come here.

[Jason]

Yeah, which I should. I bought an entire new outfit the other day just to impress you guys.

[Natalie]

Wow.

[Jason]

Yeah. Yesterday you didn't say anything.

[Naveen]

I want a new. Wait, really?

[David]

It was just for us or like, just.

[Jason]

Well, I was like, I guess I was like, I'm going over there. I'm like, I want to feel good. I want to look good. So I went to Marshalls and I bought something.

[David]

Did we say anything?

[Natalie]

It's really.

[Jason]

No.

[David]

Damn. I'm sorry about that.

[Natalie]

But you don't have bad outfits.

[Jason]

I mean, like, sometimes I, I. My clothes are, like, all shrunk and old.

[Natalie]

Mm.

[Jason]

That's what happens. You just, like. You get sick of buying clothes.

[Naveen]

I learned Never get sick of it.

[David]

I learned some new things I wanted to share with you guys. Okay, first of all, I'm gonna start off soft, and then you guys will kind of understand what I'm saying here.

[Jason]

Damn, you're soft.

[David]

There's this. Well, it's gonna be hard. Did you know this is a TikTok? I saw, and everyone was commenting saying, you're an idiot, but I think it's pretty good. Did you know deodorant is literally, like, your de. Like, no more deodoring something.

[Natalie]

Yeah, I'm. I'm sure I knew that.

[David]

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna get better. That's where I. That's where I start. That's where I start. Antiperspirant. Same thing. Okay, okay. Okay. Now, the word slang is slang for short language, yes.

[Jason]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Natalie]

I knew that.

[David]

Okay.

[Jason]

I didn't know that.

[David]

Okay, here's a better one. This is. This is the one that's gonna really teach our listeners something. Coincidence literally means two incidences.

[Jason]

A coincidence.

[Natalie]

Interesting.

[David]

That's pretty damn good. So, I mean, that one's good.

[Jason]

Then why isn't it coincident? But it's coincidence.

[David]

Well, some things have to change because it's plural. Some things have to change. And also, this is another useless fact. But burger backwards is Scooby Doo offering to give you a leg massage.

[Natalie]

Burger backwards is Scooby Doo.

[David]

Yeah. Say burger backwards.

[Jason]

Say it.

[Natalie]

I don't even know how the.

[David]

It's burger, dumbass.

[Natalie]

Oh, yeah.

[Naveen]

Why are you doing s?

[David]

Why were you doing an S?

[Natalie]

I thought burger backwards.

[David]

No, it's reg rub. Reg rub. Oh, rug rub.

[Jason]

Whatever. What is it, Scooby Doo? Doing what?

[David]

Scooby Doo? Asking you to give you a leg massage. Rug rub, Whatever.

[Natalie]

I'll do this one.

[Jason]

That's good.

[David]

So we're going to South Africa. I wanted to tell you about the itinerary that I'm really. Well, first of all, I'm a little bit nervous about it. Did you know in South Africa right now it's 50 degrees?

[Jason]

Wow.

[Natalie]

Well, I'm the one that told you, so.

[Naveen]

Yeah.

[David]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[David]

I know.

[Natalie]

You knew.

[David]

This is our itinerary. Okay. Ready, Jay?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

So we Land. And we're going with this. We're going with this group, the Beyond Group, where they, like, create the most insane itinerary. No matter, like, what we do, it's really. What's insane is the owner of it. Paul. This is all he does for a living. And what, every week he's in a new country? Yeah, every week. So he goes to St. Barts for New Year's. He'll be in Paris for Fashion Week. He'll go to Morocco.

[Jason]

What's it cost if I want to go into Beyond Group, if I want to be a part of it?

[Natalie]

I don't know.

[David]

I think it's, like, actually couldn't tell you, but I know once you pay the membership fee, which I assume is like a hundred per year.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Then per trip, I think you have to put in, like, 20, 25 grand.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Okay.

[David]

So what he does is, like, imagine if you're splitting your friends with Airbnb. You're splitting an Airbnb with friends. Yeah, he does that, but to, like, a crazy or higher level. So he'll have all these people that are like. You'll have one person come in, and you'll have 10 people come in and each put in $25,000.

[Jason]

Right.

[David]

And with that money, he'll create this full itinerary. So he'll book the house, and there'll be 10 of you staying in the house. He'll book the chefs, he'll book the dinners, he'll book the transportation, the helicopters. Every single activity will be done by the group. It's really interesting. The way he explains it, why it's so good is because there's a lot of people that make that money that blow it on going to the club.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

So it's like, instead of getting bottle service for whatever X amount of money at some stupid club, you're paying for an experience. So it's.

[Jason]

You probably meet people, too. That's probably fun for people.

[David]

That's one of, like, the whole points, too, is you're meeting other entrepreneurs.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

They're all, like, friends. You know, a lot of them go on the same trips together.

[Jason]

Got it.

[Natalie]

Like, he'll put out the whole calendar or whatever of what the trips are. He'll release them, and then you can just let. Whatever. If you're a member, you can just sign up for them. And a lot of the times it's the same.

[David]

And luckily, we get to go because we create YouTube videos.

[Jason]

Yeah. So. So cool.

[David]

So we get to help him with his videos. Great. And vice versa. We get to come. But, yeah, we land 8:30am we helicopter straight away to orphaned baby rhinos. We learn about the program, prepare milk feeds and feed the calves. Just kind of crazy. And then we have lunch. Blah, blah, blah.

[Jason]

So cute.

[David]

Wildlife experience. Then we play with cheetah cubs that are being. Apparently there's some lions that they're, like, rehabilitating.

[Natalie]

There's like. So the president of South Africa has his own private reserve.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

And that's. And it's, like, one of the only reserves that has these. The baby animals that you can, like, interact with. And they're rehabilitating them and stuff.

[Naveen]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

So we get to do that. And they have right now two lionesses that they've rehabilitated. They want to reintroduce into the wild, which is.

[David]

Which is why I'm really excited. Have you ever seen the one? Okay. One of my favorite OG YouTube videos of all time, other than military coming home videos.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Is there's this video of this of these two guys that raised a lion in their apartment in, like, Ohio or some. And the line obviously got too big, so they had to, you know, they had to let him go. He went to the wild, and then, like, eight years later, they're like, it. We're gonna go see this lion.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And they decided to record all of it. And these guys see the lion. The line tears them to shreds. No, I'm kidding. The lion, the. The whole video, you're like, there's no way the line's gonna remember them. And the line comes up, jumps on the guy and starts hugging him and introduces him. The lion is now the leader of his own, like, little pack and, like, shows him to all the other lions. It's fucking great. After not seeing each other for a bunch of years. So, like, I know that's not what's gonna happen because we're meeting these lionesses for the first time.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

But, like.

[Jason]

But imagine. But, like, imagine the lion's up there.

[David]

Yeah. I was watching a video of, like, how they return bears into the wild. Have you seen this? You know, so. So they'll. When, like, they reintroduce a wild bear. I don't know if this happens everywhere, but it was basically, they have a wild bear in a cage, and they're opening it up for him to run into the forest.

[Jason]

Okay.

[David]

And to scare the bear away. And so he doesn't attack any humans. It's just 10 people standing behind the cage. And the second the cage opens up, everyone's like. Everyone just Starts screaming and starts shooting guns.

[Jason]

Sending Natalie on a date.

[David]

Yes. Everyone starts shooting guns. Get out of here to scream. Scare the bear away. So he never comes back. I think that's really. Wow. So I wonder if we'll have to do that. So the bear. Because I think they're teaching.

[Natalie]

I think I'm thinking about this a little too hard. I think.

[Jason]

I don't know if they're.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You're releasing anything.

[David]

Okay, well, we're releasing lionesses.

[Jason]

Okay. Okay.

[David]

So the lionesses are gonna go back. We're gonna get to see this, which is really sick.

[Jason]

Start screaming.

[David]

Okay. And then the next day, this is really interesting. We get to do clay pigeon shooting.

[Jason]

So fun.

[David]

Which is like the most bougie.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

I don't know. I don't. I'm excited about it.

[Jason]

I, like, feel.

[David]

Fucking hate guns.

[Naveen]

Have you ever.

[David]

You like guns? I hate guns.

[Jason]

I don't.

[David]

Like, like, straight up, like.

[Natalie]

Like a rifle.

[David]

Like an activist is how much I hate guns. I think that I like. I went to go shooting with one of our friends in a shooting range.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And the second I shot it, I was like, there's. This should be in nobody's hand ever. Ever. I love Nerf guns. I get. I love video games. But real life guns. I am. I am like. Like a fucking, like the biggest pussy weapon.

[Jason]

I'm kind of with you.

[Naveen]

You only feel that way because you don't feel comfortable with guns. That's the only reason you feel that?

[David]

No.

[Naveen]

It's something you don't know. Like, you don't feel, like, confident with it. So it's like.

[Natalie]

Of course.

[Naveen]

It's like so scary.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I don't know.

[David]

Naveen. I've. Like when I. When I shot it and my hand tremored and I could feel the power of the thing and then I imagine it going into somebody's head on the other side. I'm like, this is. This should not be fucking. This should not be. Not be allowed.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

I don't know.

[Naveen]

Great power comes. Great responsibility, I guess.

[David]

Spider Man. I know. I get that. I know you're playing to my. My weakness here. Spider man would do it. Spiderman would do it.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Spiderman.

[David]

Okay. And this is my favorite activity.

[Jason]

Okay.

[David]

That we're doing is stargazing from Africa's biggest telescope.

[Natalie]

That's. You're gonna. That's.

[Naveen]

Wait. That's so sweet.

[Natalie]

All the things.

[David]

All the things.

[Natalie]

We get to play with the cheetah

[David]

cubs, which is like, cool.

[Naveen]

What?

[Natalie]

It's so cute.

[David]

I'm very fortunate. Where I've gotten to see baby lions.

[Natalie]

You've seen baby cheetahs and lions and tigers.

[David]

Did you know that cheetahs are actually the only animals that have never killed anyone out in the wild? They've only killed people in captivity, so there's a good chance that can't be true. Yeah. Cause I think they just don't hunt humans, but in captivity they just get angry and agitated and stuff.

[Jason]

You're telling me you stumble upon a cheetah and that, you know, in the safari?

[David]

I don't think it would kill you. Yeah, no. Unless you're, like, agitating it and, like, you're trying to raise kids. Yeah, I think you're good. I think if anybody is on a safari and wants to fuck with the

[Jason]

cheetah, I think you should earmark that stargazing thing. Nat. I think you probably get some really sweet David in those moments.

[Naveen]

I think you guys are gonna have a crush on each other during stargazing.

[David]

Navid, you are fucking dumb as shit.

[Naveen]

I swear there's gonna be. There's gonna be something.

[Jason]

There's gonna be something.

[Naveen]

Something on that night. I know it because you're excited about it. And then it will, like, just naturally unfold.

[Natalie]

Unfortunately, I think there's. Well, I guess not unfortunately, but there's going to be lots of beautiful women on this trip. I don't think that I will be that the center. Attention.

[David]

Unfortunately, these other girls coming, they're so hotter. So much hotter than me. I. Yeah, no, I'm really excited about that. The biggest telescope in Africa. I mean, Africa is a fucking ginormous continent, so I can't imagine, like, being. I just want to see. I want to see a planet. Like, I want to see a planet with the naked eye. I want to, like. I don't know. I'm so curious about it.

[Jason]

You guys gonna drink on the trip or no?

[Natalie]

Hell yeah.

[Naveen]

Yeah?

[David]

Yeah, I think so.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Is it like night a nightlife or.

[Natalie]

No, no, but, like, It's. There's like 25 people on the trip.

[Jason]

Oh, so how like, you're basically at,

[David]

like, a club, but you're in the safari. Oh, yeah.

[Natalie]

Dj. Okay. That's a crazy statement. You're not basically at the club on the support.

[Jason]

Yeah. And the lines they come up with. They know your names. They say David, they say Natalie. Yeah.

[David]

All the bouncers are ostriches.

[Jason]

Your idea of what it's gonna be like, Please send me a picture of the fucking tent that you're in.

[David]

No, no, no. But it should be really Fun. And then there's. Then there's this. This is what I opted out of, which. Well, go ahead, you can say it now. Cause Nat wanted to do it, but I was like, we should just go home. Cause they're staying for like two weeks.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

But I'm like, let's just go for a week. Like, just not to exhaust ourselves.

[Natalie]

Yeah. We're staying for six days. They're staying for an additional five days.

[Jason]

Don't you think you might get there and be like, this is awesome. Let's stay.

[David]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Jason]

I could see you doing that.

[David]

And I think that'll be like a pivot once we're there.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

But this is what I'm not like, super excited for.

[Natalie]

Not an easy pivot. I've packed accordingly for five days.

[David]

David, that's so funny how you pack. I just throw everything in there.

[Jason]

She's such a nerd, huh?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yeah.

[David]

What a loser. I'm not taking you starting.

[Natalie]

No, but they have this incredible experience.

[David]

You have to wait in the helicopter.

[Natalie]

Shut up. It's a mobile safari. So they have like a staff of like 50 people.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

And they pack. You go to for five days. You're going around in the bush, in the open land with all the animals and the staff is packing everything up. Setting up your tents in new locations every day. Wow. And you're driving whatever to the new spot. And like, you're in like, you're just like. It's the most like, raw, organic. It's still five star luxury. Like, Taylor Swift has done it, which is what they.

[David]

This is how they try to sell me on it. They were like, taylor Swift has done it. David will love it. And I'm like, listen, like, you can't just name drop celebrities and expect me like that. Celebrities go to Burning Man. Do you know that doesn't Tom Holland. That doesn't mean any Tom Holland one. No, I'm just like, I am the. I'm unfortunately the biggest diva when, like I travel with my duvet. And today I was just told that we have to travel with the backlight. I'm like, what does that mean? Like, where to fucking put my pillow on my bed sheets. Yeah. So that's the only thing I'm opting out of. And the last trip we went to where we were in a safari in a tent. Other than like the massive insects and the snakes and then the little finger monkeys that come in later to steal all your stuff. I mean, the insects are really heavy.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, when you're sleeping in a Tent. But the worst part was, probably I've talked about this before, was it was me, Ilya and Natalie in one bed because we were too scared to sleep in our own tents. And there's like one moment, like, when Natalie got up to pee and I

[Natalie]

thought, there's no walls in this fucking tent.

[David]

I thought we were being hit by a laser beam. The sound that echoed through the tent.

[Jason]

Strong stream.

[David]

It was pee.

[Natalie]

I'd been in distress.

[David]

It was like someone was power washing, like, one of the cars.

[Natalie]

The toilet was basically a hole.

[David]

It reminded me of home because we get mobile car washes here. Yeah.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God.

[David]

And it feels. It felt good. I was like, oh, something's being washed.

[Natalie]

You're a freak. So you liked it?

[David]

No, it was so loud. It was fucking freaking.

[Natalie]

Yeah, well, that moment I have, it has scarred me for the rest of my life.

[David]

Because it's in the vlog, I think, right?

[Natalie]

It isn't in the vlog.

[Jason]

You juice the audio in the vlog.

[David]

Probably, yeah, probably. I probably had to just to create the exact audio that we heard. When you're experiencing it in person. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't a lie of what we were experiencing. I mean, Lily and I looked at each other like, that's Natalie. I mean, she must have been a good 50ft from the hole. With the. The amount of speed this thing got it reached.

[Natalie]

I was like scrolling.

[David]

Her piss reached terminal velocity for sure. It couldn't have gone faster. Unless you shot out of a gun.

[Natalie]

I'm like, so self conscious about peeing now. It's actually crazy.

[David]

That was amazing. I'm like, genuinely. I think I speak about it so much because I'm jealous and I wish I had a strain.

[Natalie]

Shut up. I. When I pee here in the bat in the bathroom that's next to the kitchen, and I. Everyone's like. And I know David's sitting in the living room. Like, I know that I have to be quiet. And I literally.

[Jason]

It's one thing you can't quiet.

[Natalie]

Well, no, you can't. I can control it. Like, I can.

[Jason]

Like, you put your ass cheeks. You put your ass cheeks around the bowl so there's no sound. And put your legs.

[Natalie]

What? No, I don't. I don't do that.

[Jason]

You haven't heard the stream.

[David]

Wait, wait, Sorry, I talked over. What were you saying?

[Jason]

I'm saying she's trying to. When she goes to pee, she's self conscious, so she tries to make the pee sound quieter. But how does she do that?

[David]

Oh, yeah. What is this? Well, the secret is you throw down tissue paper. Or sometimes that's causes the splash to be extra loud.

[Natalie]

I just, like. I just go slow. Like, I go really slow.

[David]

Do you aim for around the ball

[Natalie]

and I aim for the side.

[David]

Can you do that as a girl?

[Natalie]

Yeah. I lift my right leg up in the air, and I put it on the wall,

[David]

and then my other leg

[Jason]

on the other wall.

[Natalie]

When I'm in the splits, it comes out, like, real slow and quiet.

[David]

Wow. Okay. That's fucking disgusting. Yeah. No, I also pee like that. Oh, no. Like, I pee in. I'm very insecure about how loud my pee is, so I have to silence it. Do you hear me pee when I go?

[Natalie]

Like, where in here?

[David]

Yeah. Cause I'll notice other guys will go pee in the bathroom, and I'll start looking around. I'm like, who's gonna comment on how loud this pee is? And no one will do it. So then I'll be like, okay, I won't either.

[Natalie]

You're so weird.

[David]

But, like, I'm always like. And then when I go pee.

[Jason]

I can't believe you get any work done.

[David]

When I go pee. Sometimes what you got to do is when I go pee, and I've always peed like this, I'll pee initially in the bowl.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

To let. I don't do this as much now because I'm not as insecure as I used to be, but I'll pee in the bowl, like, right in the water to let people know, like, hey, I pee just like anybody else. And then I pee on the side of the bowl.

[Jason]

I say, so you're talking a public restroom situation.

[David]

Yeah. Like, first IP down the middle. And I'm like, guys, this is how healthy my stream is. But I'm taking it out of respect to the side to make it quieter.

[Jason]

You give him a little preview.

[David]

So I do the whole process. I go, this is what you can get. But out of respect, I'm just doing this.

[Natalie]

Wow. Thank you.

[David]

Yeah. So I don't know, like, some guy's

[Jason]

just like, yo, that's pretty good stream.

[David]

Oh, we're making it quieter.

[Naveen]

Yeah.

[David]

And then the girl will go, he's doing it out of respect. That's how I imagine the bathroom with you. That's how I imagine the conversation goes. Hi, guys. Listen, this is all the time we have for today's episode.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

It's been an honor doing it with you guys. It is time for us to go to South Africa. Six in the morning. We will report back next week.