Giving My Student a Massage

Summary

VIEWS with David Dobrik & Jason Nash

Episode: Giving My Student a Massage
Date: August 15, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode is classic VIEWS: David Dobrik, Jason Nash, and regular guest Natalie get deeply candid about internet platforms like OnlyFans, parental anxieties, drug experiences, and high school nostalgia. The trio blends irreverent comedy with poignant observations, moving fluidly from the economics of online sex work to coming-of-age messiness, wild teacher stories, and the curiosities of suburban midwestern life. Much of the episode is devoted to a mix of NSFW confession, honest debate, and warm, nostalgic storytelling—all in the familiar, rapid-fire VIEWS style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. David's OnlyFans Foray

[01:44–04:53]

• David confesses spending $170 (of friend Alex’s money) on OnlyFans. He describes his awkwardness putting in his own card info, so he used a friend's.
  • “For one set, I paid $50...It was four slides of photos and I was just like, what?” – David [03:34]
• Discusses how the content is often misleadingly titled and feels like clickbait, e.g., “I can't believe OnlyFans isn't taking this down.”
• Moral take: David insists, “There's nobody to blame other than men, for sure...it’s 10 times more shame on you for the guy” [04:05].
• Sparks a discussion about shame, enablement, and why men are key to the OnlyFans economy.

2. Should Natalie Join OnlyFans?

[04:53–11:14]

• Natalie is inspired by a visit from a successful OnlyFans creator and debates joining.
• David shares a YouTuber’s “shower thoughts” principle for loyalty in creative teams.
• Stigma and double lives: Natalie and David discuss the LA world vs. Midwest mentalities.
  • “You have two sides to you...Your mindset has always been...It's unfortunate, there is a stigma around [OnlyFans].” – David [08:28]
• Downsides: Natalie worries how doing OnlyFans could affect her future family and perceptions.
  • “Once you want to settle down…my concern is like, I am older. I do want to have a family. My kids are going to be like, 'Mommy, how'd we get this yacht?'” – Natalie [10:31]
• Debate over whether such content would really affect relationships/marriage prospects in real life or if it's just internalized judgment.

3. Gendered Life Decisions

[13:14–14:18]

• Jason and Natalie are asked if they’d choose to re-live life as men or women.
  • Jason quickly proclaims, “I love being a man. It’s so great. It’s just so easy.” [13:33]
• They discuss male privilege, social ease, and the stresses women face (expectations, appearance, etc.).

4. Bathroom Etiquette & High School Bathroom Memories

[14:18–17:06]

• Jason humorously raises “bathroom politics,” describing his anxiety about being a guy using the women’s bathroom for #2 (“I'm gonna blow that bathroom up”). [14:19]
• They recall shared bathroom stories from school—like two-toilet buddy bathrooms and classrooms with built-in restrooms.

5. Subculture, Drugs, & Adulthood in LA

[19:34–22:34]

• David shares an LA story where a guy does cocaine off a urinal divider—after “wiping it down with an alcohol swab.” [19:48]
• Jason describes accidentally doing meth when a friend's cocaine substitute turned out to be meth (“I was up for 24 hours. I don’t recommend it, but…it was wild”). [20:29, 21:45]
• Quick takes on raising kids around party cultures and the normalization of different substances.

6. Suburban Teenage Rebellion & Paranoia

[22:34–25:33]

• They reminisce about their suburban upbringings: the thrill of buying weed, sneaking drinks, or merely feeling like a “drug kingpin” for minor mischief in sleepy Vernon Hills.
  • “My favorite part was...the sneakiness of it...the exchange of a $20 crisp bill for something in a tiny Ziploc bag” – David [23:30]
• Debates about driving high and the legal misconceptions of their youth.

7. What’s It Like to Be High?

[25:44–27:04]

• Natalie can’t really explain what it feels like to be high and worries she acts strange (“I should film myself so I can look tomorrow...but I stop myself…Like, what if this is all just a part of it?”) [26:05]
• Jason agrees, sometimes records himself high and finds it less funny the next day.

8. Memorable, Quirky, and Inappropriate Teachers

[29:21–41:03]

• Fond memories of a handsome geography teacher who would unwittingly “put his cock on everyone’s desk” by striking a certain pose.
  • “He would just put...one leg up on the desk in front of everybody….front row of kids were gonna get the balls in their mouth.” – David [29:47]
• Recollections of supportive/life-changing teachers alongside stories about strict or eccentric ones:
  • The “lamp classroom” teacher who decorated with thrifted lamps and let students sit in a circle to encourage creativity [38:02]
• Tales of cheating throughout school (“Cheated through every single moment of high school like some cartel level cheating.” – David [37:28])
• Stories of inappropriate teachers, including one who massaged students during detention (“She didn’t sleep with anybody, but she’d...do weird massage. That. It was weird.” – Natalie [40:26])
• Moments of making a teacher cry because of classic classroom chaos.

9. Midwestern Childhood Nostalgia

[41:36–44:28]

• David gets deeply reflective about how special Vernon Hills was for their upbringing; even friends from abroad recognize its “perfect childhood” vibe.
  • “I showed her where we lived…she's like, this is the perfect childhood.” – David [43:11]
• Explores the community’s economic diversity, school quality, and the subtle privilege of their experience.
  • “We were like lower class, but we definitely weren't anything above...but the town is rich…someone in that town did [have money].” – David/Jay [43:41, 43:46]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• David (on OnlyFans spending):
  “I bought it because it was the most expensive option on her page, I was like, this gotta be the craziest fucking shit of all time.” [04:01]
• Natalie (on career & money):
  “If I could just passively make ten times more than I'm making now, like, why wouldn't I do that?” [07:00]
• David (on high school rebellion):
  “There was no better feeling than, like, okay, tonight I'm gonna get weed.” [23:17]
• Jason (on male privilege):
  “I love being a man. It’s so great. It’s just so easy.” [13:33]
• On quirky teachers:
  “Instead of having the classroom lights on, he went to garage sales and bought random lamps...so it was all powered just by those lamps.” – David on Mr. Howitt [38:02]
• On suburban nostalgia:
  “If I was to think of a perfect childhood…this is how I would conjure up this town.” – Australian friend, relayed by David [43:09]

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Segment Timestamps

• [01:44–04:53] – David’s OnlyFans experiment/confession
• [04:53–11:14] – Natalie considers OnlyFans, stigma, and career tangents
• [13:14–14:18] – Gender privilege: would you live again as a man or woman?
• [14:18–17:06] – School bathrooms and bodily anxieties
• [19:34–22:34] – Drug stories from LA: Coke, accidental meth, and parenting talk
• [22:34–25:33] – Weed-buying nostalgia, “rebellion” in Vernon Hills
• [25:44–27:04] – What does being high really feel like?
• [29:21–41:03] – The world’s most memorable teachers (good, bad, and weird)
• [41:36–44:28] – Vernon Hills, nostalgia, and what made their Midwest childhood unique

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Tone & Takeaways

• Tone: Casual, crass, brutally honest, warm, and nostalgic.
• Takeaways:
  • The trio vacillates between sincere self-reflection (on career, shame, drugs, upbringing) and riotous, sometimes shocking comedy.
  • The podcast captures the anxieties and freedoms of adulting in LA, the moral paradoxes of influencer culture, and the affection toward old memories and friendships.
  • The unique blend of LA craziness and Midwestern wholesomeness forms much of their comedic and emotional undertone, especially as they look back on what shaped them.

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This summary covers all major themes and conversations from the content portion of the episode, skipping advertisements and non-content interludes.

Transcript

[David]

You say you'll never join the Navy, never climb Mount Fuji on a port visit, or break the sound barrier. Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never actually is. Learn [e-mail], america's Navy, forged by the sea. You say you'll never join the Navy, that you never track storms brewing in the Atlantic, and skydiving could never be part of your commute. You'd never climb Mount Fuji on a port visit or fly so fast you break the sound barrier. Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never actually is. Start your journey at navy.com, america's Navy, forged by the sea. What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. Jason calls me Captain Autistic now. What the fuck is up with that?

[Jay]

As we were recording, he's like, you want to restart it so we know what we're having?

[David]

How's that autistic?

[Jay]

Huh?

[David]

How's that autistic?

[Jay]

Well, with that and then the other day with the headphones, and then the way you yell at everybody because we've.

[David]

Been recording for four minutes and we weren't actually recording. I never did the intro, so I was like, can you restart the podcast so I could see the time so I know exactly when we're at 45 minutes.

[Jay]

We're at 4. 57.

[David]

Okay. You didn't reset it?

[Jay]

I did. I pressed it, but it just started. Re recording on the same project. Just paused. He didn't leave.

[David]

Son of a bitch.

[Natalie]

Yeah, you really are turning into, like, grumpy old man. Really? Yeah.

[Jay]

When is the last. Natalie asked a great question. What did you ask?

[Natalie]

When is the last time you genuinely have taken a full day off of your phone? Completely offline? Have you ever.

[David]

No porn.

[Natalie]

No porn.

[David]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

No porn.

[David]

No porn. Oh, my gosh. I mean, I guess I just got Onlyfans yesterday.

[Natalie]

Shut up.

[David]

Yeah, you're on there. Yeah. Yeah, No, I got it to, like, look.

[Natalie]

Yeah. You've never gone on before.

[David]

No, I've gone on it once because Ilya used to, like, go on. Ilya hasn't gone on in, like, two or three years, which is, like, a really big deal for him. Yeah, but I got it. Yeah, I got it yesterday again. I used Alex's credit card. I know I'm an adult, but for some reason, it still feels so weird putting my own credit card information in on that website. So I use my friend's credit card.

[Natalie]

The accounts will not judge you.

[Jay]

They don't care how much you spend.

[David]

$170.

[Jay]

Shut the fuck up.

[Natalie]

You spent $170 yeah. Alex's money on what?

[David]

Yeah, I pay back, obviously. This girl, man, it was just. Everything was titled wrong. It was all clickbait. It was not put together properly. I just was. Yeah, I've never been on it, so I was like, trying to figure it.

[Natalie]

Out, like, fully investing. You're diving in.

[David]

I mean, it is a. It's crazy, man.

[Jay]

How many pictures do you get for $170? Yeah.

[David]

What did you so, like. I bought like. This is. This is so great.

[Natalie]

Don't tell us the story. Like, headlines. I don't want to know the headlines. I just want to know.

[David]

Dude, the fucking headlines are disgusting. I mean, it's like porn titles, but it's like. No, actually not that disgusting. It's like, I'm a nurse and I'm here to help you. You know, it's like stuff like that. It's not like super xxx.

[Jay]

Was she a nurse?

[David]

She was a nurse.

[Jay]

Was it in a doctor's set or.

[David]

Was it in her house? In her house? No, she didn't go like all out vlog for it.

[Jay]

She.

[David]

Dude, she dud on it.

[Jay]

She didn't rent a set.

[David]

No. I also don't like when that's like, the vibe. Cause it's like. Oh, it's like a bit.

[Jay]

You're the one clicking on a nurse video.

[David]

Yeah, you're right. I'm the problem. No, I. For one. For one picture.

[Natalie]

Oh, God.

[David]

For one set, I paid $50.

[Jay]

What? Who is this woman?

[David]

It doesn't matter. That's not what. That's not. That's not what the thing is.

[Natalie]

No, but it's. Okay.

[David]

Sorry, but it's $50, and it was four slides of photos and I was just like, what?

[Natalie]

For complete a carousel of four photos.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Wow. 50 bucks.

[David]

50 bucks. I could not believe it. But. But I bought it because it was 50 bucks.

[Jay]

Okay.

[David]

I bought it because it was the most expensive option.

[Jay]

Oh, yeah.

[David]

On her page, I was like, this guy be the craziest fucking shit of all time.

[Natalie]

This is insane.

[David]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's so crazy. And it's like there is no one to. I know. I love how people love being like, girls are being slutty and doing this. There's nobody to blame other than men, for sure. Like, I was fucking knee deep in that shit. Spending money like. Like, have I talked about this? Like, when Corona gets a comment like, yeah, but all that money's from showing your boobs. It's like, no, all that money's from you commenter. Being horny. That's where all that money's from. Like, it has nothing, you know? I don't know. It's like 10 times more shame on you for the guy.

[Natalie]

I gotta get on this shit, man.

[Jay]

Was it full? Was the girl nude or barely nude?

[David]

No, no, not even.

[Jay]

Right?

[Natalie]

She wasn't nude.

[David]

No. But that's how she was titling it. She was like, oh, my God.

[Jay]

Well.

[David]

Cause all the titles are, like, so miscellaneous. Like, I'm showing it all today.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

But it's like.

[David]

And then I'll even. I can't believe I fall for this shit. But some of them will be like, I can't believe OnlyFans isn't taking this down. And I'm like. And I click on it because I'm in my head. I'm like, obviously this is clickbait. But like, what is she possibly saying that trying to convince you that only OnlyFans would take down. But yeah. So we had this girl over. I'm going to put it in the next vlog, so I don't want to spoil it, but we had this girl over who, like, makes a lot of money and OnlyFans. Whatever. Long story short, Natalie is, like, completely inspired.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

By this platform.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

She's like, I'm. I'm gonna sign up for it.

[Jay]

What's it gonna be like when your managers on OnlyFans making more money than you?

[Natalie]

I would. I don't want to do only fans.

[David]

I told her this. I said. I said, go ahead, do only fans. But, like, you need to. You need to hire a new manager. Like, I learned a new phrase the other day from, like, a fellow YouTuber. And I was. I was telling everybody. I was telling. I was telling him how much I pay everyone. And I told him about a certain person that I pay, and he goes, whoa, that's way too much. If they're not only 1000% focusing on you. He says, when I hire someone especially for that amount of money, I want their shower thoughts. And I thought that was a really interesting thing. Shower thoughts.

[Natalie]

I mean, it's a little bit, like, dictatory, but.

[David]

No but, like, for being creative, like Net. It's not dictatory if you're paying somebody, like, over $250,000 a year. Like, you want them to be, like, breathing what you're doing.

[Natalie]

No, for sure.

[David]

That's not a job that you're just like, that you want them clocking in and out of. You want them, like, ideating when they get home.

[Jay]

I'm trying to figure which employee is not giving you shower thoughts because it's John. He's thinking about cheeseburgers.

[David]

But Natalie. Natalie's like, now pretty gung ho about, like, doing the whole onlyfans.

[Natalie]

I just think it's crazy. Like, it's.

[David]

So that's why I bring up shower thoughts. Because I'm like. I'm like, yeah, you can go do it. Go do it. You'll be super wealthy and, like, we'll hang out all the time. But, like, I don't want you also managing me.

[Natalie]

I just don't know. Like, I don't think that well. One, I actually genuinely love my job, so I don't really want to give it up, but it is a lot of work. Like, if I could just passively make ten times more than I'm making now, like, why wouldn't I do that? You know, that's the constant debate that I have in my head.

[Jay]

Is it a lot of work to post photos every day?

[Natalie]

No, no, no. I'm saying my work with David, posting photos of myself is incredibly easy.

[David]

She does that currently now, Right.

[Jay]

For free.

[David]

Yeah. I don't know how she does it, but. But, yeah, I don't know. I feel like.

[Natalie]

What do you think?

[David]

Well, there's. It. You're. You're also, like. Your mindset has always been, like. It's unfortunate. There is a stigma around it, right? There's a stigma around only fans.

[Natalie]

Well, I don't think I would do onlyfans. I think I would do something like a pass is like.

[David]

I don't. Dude, it's the same shit, bro. It's just a different title. Same shit.

[Natalie]

Yeah, but I'm. You're not like. I'm not spreading my legs and having sex.

[David]

You don't have. You don't spread your legs and have sex on only Fans? For the love of God. There's people on onlyfans that have cooking channels.

[Natalie]

No, I know. I know that. But I'm just saying you're just.

[David]

You're literally just like, you're. You're. You're. You're stereotyping all of OnlyFans. It's not what it is.

[Natalie]

No, but I'm saying that, like, really high earners on onlyfans are doing stuff like that. Like, they are.

[David]

I mean, I don't think, like, Cardi B is, like, doing the nastiest thing. I think Cardi B is being like, cardi B. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I don't.

[Jay]

Who's.

[David]

Who's, like, the highest, like, tigers, really.

[Natalie]

I think Tiger is actually having sex, though, probably.

[David]

I read somewhere that Tiger makes like 30, $40 million.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

Just like, makes more than his music.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Wow.

[David]

Incredible.

[Jay]

Wow.

[David]

So. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah.

[Natalie]

All right. So you're saying just like, fuck the haters, fuck the stigma.

[David]

What I was getting to. I do think fuck the stigma, but I think you are very, like, you have two sides to you. You're like. You really are, like, divergent when it comes to, like, how you want to live. You're very LA centric just because you were born here, but you're roots.

[Natalie]

I wasn't born here.

[David]

Sorry, sorry. Because. Because you've lived here, but you're very grounded in your Vernon Hills, Chicago suburbs ways. So it's like there's two sides of you battling, like, free the nipple or go back home and race a bag.

[Natalie]

Or button up and work.

[David]

And it's. Unfortunately, it's two different. It's. As of now, it's two different things. Like, you can't have that Chicago suburbia lifestyle. Most likely with the stigma of what is like posting a lot of nudes. It's a little bit different sometimes. Sometimes.

[Natalie]

Well, that's why I'm like, maybe doing a passes or something is better because there's less of a stigma.

[David]

Sure. Yeah. I don't know. I. I don't know. I say go for it. I've always said this. If I was a fucking chick.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

100%. I'm doing only fans. No shame. There's no shame in that. Just fucking let it out. We were born naked.

[Natalie]

Well, I don't want to let it out. And, like, I don't want to do.

[David]

Don't let it out, but do what you got to do.

[Jay]

What do you think the downside of.

[David]

It is of doing only fans?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

$10 million.

[David]

I think the only downside.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

Is like, people saying stuff like. Kind of what I just said really loosely.

[Jay]

Sure.

[David]

Is like, well, what if you want to get married one day? Like, that is the only. But it's only people saying it. I don't even think it actually applies in real life. Like, I don't think, like. I don't think that, like. Like there. I think there's a moment where Corinna was like, I want to stop whatever. Because, like, I want to, like, find someone like Corinna. Like, I don't think that fucking matters. Like, right. Like.

[Jay]

Yeah. Like your soulmate is your soulmate.

[David]

Yeah. You're gonna find someone to love you for.

[Jay]

I think so.

[David]

Whoever you are. I don't think it's a big deal.

[Natalie]

Yeah, I guess.

[David]

Yeah, maybe I'm just like so like knee deep in this fucking LA thing and like. And like it depends on who you're.

[Natalie]

Looking for, like, who you're willing to be in a relationship. Like, I don't know. I just.

[David]

I don't know. Dude, that's not true. That's. I don't, I don't look any. I don't look at anybody from those places.

[Natalie]

I just think that. But once you, like, want to settle down, I mean, obviously this is me coming from my own perspective in place, but once you want to like settle down and like, my concern is like, I am older. Like, I do want to have a family. I do want to get married, like pretty soon, right? I mean, I wanted to already kind of be there already, but I'm not. But like, what's my. Okay, we're on mommy's yacht in 10 years and my kids are going to be like, mommy, how'd we get this yacht?

[David]

And I'd be like, oh, fuck that. I don't think it's like that.

[Natalie]

But they won't. They like, I don't know.

[Jay]

It's not like that because your kids love you any anyways. You could be on death row in that case.

[David]

And I think there's also like a. I don't know.

[Jay]

It's not like that.

[Natalie]

I wouldn't want other people.

[David]

We also have, like, I. We have very, like. I think our ideology is very like leaning towards one direction right now. Like, I know, I know some people listening to this Harry Styles, especially from the Midwest or maybe like I'm anywhere else would be like, what the fuck are these guys saying? Do you know what I mean?

[Natalie]

Like, in what way?

[Jay]

Sure.

[David]

Well, like, I feel like this is like a pretty.

[Jay]

That's just how it's how we feel.

[David]

It's like a polarizing conversation. Like, I'm really curious what people would think about this. Like.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

How much it affects, like, I think wherever you are in the world is a completely view different viewpoint.

[Jay]

You're not going to marry a preacher for sure.

[Natalie]

Not.

[Jay]

Nope.

[David]

I don't know. But yeah. Well, I do support your journey. Really, Jay, didn't you have an onlyfans at one point?

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Natalie]

Wait, did you really?

[Jay]

No.

[David]

Oh, oh, I thought he did.

[Natalie]

I think he joked about it or.

[Jay]

Whatever I joked about. Why would I do that? To be embarrassed and make no money. I can do that without being on.

[David]

Only there's definitely a market for you out there.

[Jay]

I don't think so.

[David]

Really?

[Jay]

I can't do that.

[David]

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[Natalie]

You can't escape the past.

[David]

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[Natalie]

Death is coming for our family.

[David]

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[Jay]

You're right about that.

[David]

They're coming after our family. Go fix this. Oh my. Nobody 2 rated R only in theaters now. If you go to heaven, right.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

And you get to kind of like set up your next life or whatever.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

You're gonna re up as a man. Are you going to go? Are you going to go woman? And you really got to think outside the box here because it's like it is really hard to not say you're going to re up as a man.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

Would you run it back as a man or woman? Natalie, I know your answer.

[Jay]

I love being a man.

[David]

Want to be dude. What?

[Jay]

I love it.

[David]

You like being a man.

[Jay]

So good. It's so great.

[David]

Okay.

[Jay]

It's just so easy. I couldn't like when I see Naveen getting ready and it's taking a while and she's like choosing outfits and putting so much into it.

[David]

Don't they like kind of like. Like that? Like I think a girl can like decide whether or not she wants stressful.

[Jay]

To be a girl. It looks really stressful.

[Natalie]

It is pretty stressful.

[David]

But like don't like, don't like girls. Like it's pain in the ass. But like girls like that, sure, they.

[Jay]

Like to look pretty once they get.

[David]

There and if they don't want to do it, like don't they just not do it? Do you know what I mean?

[Jay]

I mean I dress like a complete slob and it's fine.

[David]

But like you could do that as a girl but you would just be a slobby girl.

[Jay]

I don't know. Yeah. I guess I just feel girls feel more pressure. Hey, I thought of something the other day that was interesting. Like you know, the whole bathroom thing. Like, you know, like what bathroom can you use? How you identify I'm all for anybody using any bathroom.

[David]

Okay, okay.

[Jay]

Like, I'm very liberal in that way, you know? Like, if you identify as a woman, go use the woman's bathroom. That's great. But I did have a thought the other day, which was I was going to the bathroom and I was going to do number two, and I passed a woman and I was like, oh, like, if I went into the bathroom right now and I identified as a woman, like, that's gonna be a fuck. I'm gonna blow that bathroom up. Do you know what I mean?

[David]

You don't think women shit like that?

[Jay]

I don't think so. Not like me. You know what I mean?

[David]

Oh, really?

[Jay]

Yeah. So that was just something I never thought of. You honestly haven't again use any bathroom?

[David]

That's. You haven't. You haven't lived with Natalie?

[Jay]

You've never smelt her poop?

[Natalie]

What?

[David]

Dude, what do you.

[Jay]

You probably go in there and sniff it after, like, Jonah's skit.

[David]

Okay, so what is it?

[Jay]

Is that where Jonah gets all his skit ideas from?

[David]

We had to have Tony the Plumber come by every week because septic ticks because of me.

[Natalie]

Dude, you had 18 million people in and out of that house every single day.

[David]

Nelly. Just me and you that lived in that house.

[Natalie]

No, I understand. We lived there, but there was 20 people there every day, filming every day, all day, taking shits, putting their tampons in the drain, doing all the things.

[David]

I will say, I think the biggest shitter in the house is actually probably Zane.

[Natalie]

He doesn't even live for sure. Zayne shits himself as he's walking.

[David]

Wait, that is really interesting about Zane.

[Natalie]

Openly.

[David]

Zane has like this like whole method.

[Natalie]

Farts on command.

[David]

Well, he could do that. It was crazy. We were filming. We were filming. I was doing like a voiceover for a vlog and Zane was sitting next to me while I edit. And I was like, I need a fart sound for this. You got one? He's like, yeah, just lets it out.

[Natalie]

Crazy.

[David]

How's that fucking possible? Yes, I got it.

[Jay]

Do you use it?

[David]

How is it? No, I never used it. But like, I just could not believe it. I'm like, how the fuck did you just do that? Literally out of like nothing. It's like a true thing. But Zane has this thing where, like, he comes over to work out, he takes his pre workout and he's in the bathroom for like 30, 40 minutes. It's really funny. And it's like during like rush hour of the house, he's like, in that bathroom. Cause I've knocked on that door. I've knocked on the bathroom 30 plus times and things like. Yeah, he's always, always using that thing. So that is pretty impressive. What? At what age did your mom stop wiping your butt? It's a good question.

[Natalie]

I mean, I was probably, like, wiping my ass at two, dude.

[David]

Same.

[Natalie]

Yeah, no, you were wiping your own ass. Maybe at 13, 14.

[David]

13 for sure.

[Jay]

It's a big step when you get probably there by yourself.

[David]

No, it's probably. It was really late. It was like seven, eight or nine or something. Yeah, it was really embarrassing.

[Jay]

Well, you're already in school.

[David]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It was embarrassing.

[Natalie]

Did you ever have. I don't know why, but when I Friend.

[David]

Oh, yeah.

[Natalie]

Are you serious? Are you just. Well, I just didn't want to completely talk over.

[Jay]

You told Natalie to bring more to the podcast.

[David]

I did. I didn't want to lose my train of thought here about this poop story.

[Natalie]

No, I'm going on poop.

[David]

Oh, okay. Sorry, sorry. I think you're gonna change the topic. Go.

[Natalie]

I am changing the topic, motherfucker. Fuck you.

[David]

Go, dude.

[Natalie]

No, when I was, like, in kindergarten, we had these bathrooms that.

[David]

Yes.

[Natalie]

There was two toilets in the bathroom. And you would go in with a buddy.

[David]

Wait, what?

[Natalie]

Yeah, I also. I went to, like, a Catholic. Like, I don't know if that's like, a weird thing. You never had that.

[David]

What the fuck are you talking about?

[Natalie]

There would be one. There'd be in this. There'd be one.

[David]

It would be a one stall with two toilets.

[Natalie]

Yeah. Be a room, like a bathroom. And there was two toilets straight across.

[David]

No, there weren't. Are you sure?

[Jay]

It wasn't like, my kids had that in preschool.

[David]

What? Yeah, it's called go with a buddy.

[Jay]

I don't know what it's called, but.

[Natalie]

I always thought it was so weird.

[Jay]

It's called everybody go to the bathroom at the same time.

[David]

Oh, that's fucking really strange. What?

[Natalie]

I thought the toilet across from the other kid.

[David]

What I thought you were gonna bring up is the fact that in our elementary school, our bathrooms were in our classroom.

[Natalie]

Yeah, that was. That is kind of crazy.

[David]

How the f. Like, I cannot believe.

[Natalie]

Well, but you're so young. They don't want the kids wandering, getting lost or whatever, right? I don't know.

[David]

I don't know, dude. Elementary school, like, you're pretty old.

[Natalie]

Like, you're eight, dude. You're eight in third grade.

[David]

I'm talking about the fourth and fifth grade, I felt like I was pretty conscious.

[Natalie]

The fourth and fifth grade, we did not have bathrooms in our classrooms.

[David]

What are you talking about? That is exactly when we had a Ms. Park's class. I had it in there. I tell my favorite story of this girl I had a crush on who went to go use the bathroom. This was in a podcast, maybe years, years ago.

[Natalie]

Oh, and then she. Shit. And then you walked in.

[David]

No, worse, worse. She went to the bathroom, she came out, and then she went to go sit back down. And I was just, like, looking at her just because I was like, my eyes were just wandering. And she put her fingers in her butt, she smelled them, and then she ran back into the bathroom. I didn't like that. I didn't like that. Like, anybody that went to go pee, you could hear the water hitting the.

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah. So you wouldn't go in there because you'd be. You feel like people make fun of you or something. Did you hear people?

[David]

I'm just super pee shy. I can't even pee. Like, I'll go into bathrooms now and if, like, it's like the urinals are all next. Dude, I went into. We were at a club the other day and, like, cocaine's really prevalent in Los Angeles. Like, it's. You see more people do blow than smoke cigarettes by like 5x, right? Like, cocaine is like. It's like. It's like a beer here. I don't even know. I don't even know. Explain. It's everywhere. Yeah, but it was really funny. I walked into. It was like a nice restaurant. There was two. There was two urinals. There's a divider on the urinal and the guy was peeing next to his buddy, and he put the cocaine on top of the divider and did it off of it as he was peeing.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God.

[David]

I came in. He's like, hey, Dave. Hi. Sorry to interrupt. He's like, you want some? I'm like, I'm so good, thank you. Which is really funny. And it was. And I was like. I asked him. I was like, is that not, like, gross, like, doing it off of there?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

And he goes, no, I wiped it down with an alcohol swab.

[Natalie]

Well, he came fucking prepared.

[David]

This is, like, routine to him. He took an alcohol swab and wiped down the bathroom.

[Natalie]

You know he's having dinner there like, once or twice a week.

[David]

I know he, like, knows that place inside and out, but. But, yeah, that's funny. That's the scariest part about LA is like, that's like the craziest part about adulting. When's like, when's the. When. When have you ever done, like, a crazy drug, Jay, that, like, you, like, came across as you were getting older?

[Jay]

Just the. Just the party drugs.

[David]

Like what?

[Jay]

Like ecstasy, Molly does it acid. What else have I done? I did meth once.

[David]

What are you talking about? Yeah, on accident.

[Natalie]

Wait, how do you just do meth once?

[Jay]

Someone. Someone. Like, we were about to do cocaine and we started to pivot. I was like. The guy was like, my friend.

[David]

Were you a big cokehead as a.

[Jay]

No. No, not at all.

[David]

Okay, so wait, paint this picture, brother. Everyone does meth because they were doing coke.

[Jay]

Well, no, he was like. He's like, oh, you want to do some coke? And I was like, yeah, sure. And then, like, I got over there and he was like. He's like, oh, don't have any coke. He's like, I have this meth. And I was like, oh. I'm like, that's not the same. And he's like, that's good. It's good. Don't worry about it. So I was like, okay, so I'll try it. I tried it. Hey, man. Hell, it's up for 24 hours.

[Natalie]

Wait, what. What happened?

[Jay]

I was at. I was at Earth Cafe at like 5:30am or 6am Whenever it opened, just like, feeling great, but couldn't sleep. And my other friend who did it.

[David]

Were you, like, hallucinating? I'm so confused.

[Jay]

No, you're just like. You're just like.

[David]

I don't know what method is. Really?

[Jay]

Yeah, you're just like. You can do anything. I thought when you're on climb a fucking tree.

[David]

I guess that's what. Are meth heads like, crazy?

[Natalie]

I thought that. I thought you, like, hallucinate and you're also, like, leaned over and, like, kind of not.

[Jay]

Well. Yeah, that's. That's the end of meth. This is the one time only that I did it. Yeah. So even on the first years later.

[Natalie]

Oh, really?

[Jay]

Yeah. So, I mean, I think it. I think it stops working. You do more and more and more, and then you're fucked.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jay]

I mean, I don't recommend it, but, yeah, it was. It was wild.

[David]

How are you with your, like, kids drinking and, like, smoking and things?

[Jay]

Drinking? I can do whatever they want. I don't care.

[David]

Really?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

Did you ever have to have a talk with them?

[Jay]

I mean, yeah, I'm just like, don't. Don't drink.

[David]

Does your parents want to feel like that or no?

[Natalie]

Yeah. My. My mom. My mom was insane when I was a kid, and I was not doing anything. I mean, I did.

[David]

I did, but she was, like, insane. Like, she wanted you to do things.

[Natalie]

No, no, no. My mom's childhood was so fucking batshit crazy that, like, I. She just assumed that I was gonna be doing, like, fucking whatever drugs and shit in Vernon Hills. And I wasn't, like, that wasn't a thing at all. We would, like, sometimes we'd sneak, you know, like Malibu or something, you know, and, like, drinking that.

[David]

Oh, y' all love Malibu. The popular kids loved Malibu because it.

[Natalie]

Doesn'T taste like alcohol. You know, it's like, easy to drink.

[David]

So it's like, oh, I just want to try anymore. Oh, my God, that is such, like, a fucking core memory that I was never a part of that. I always thought I was. That Malibu is actually probably the first alcohol I tasted, too. That, dude, that's what I loved about Vernon Hills is like, shit there. Like, you feel like you're a fucking drug kingpin when you're doing, like, one little bad thing. Especially when you're, like, younger, like. Like going to buy a weed in Vernon. I mean, obviously, this is. We were also kids, so it actually was bad, but there was no better feeling then, like, like, okay, I have the. Like, tonight I'm gonna get weed.

[Natalie]

We all got it from the same person, too.

[David]

Like, I always used to say, like, I. I didn't smoke a lot in high school. I maybe smoked like, three or four times, like, my entire.

[Natalie]

You, like, painted yourself, like, when we were in high school, David was like, yeah, I smoke weed.

[David]

Well, because I was always around it. I only did it three or four times, but, like, I was the first to want to go buy weed. I love the process of it. I love the sneakiness of it. I love the exchange of a $20 crisp bill for something in a tiny Ziploc bag. For some reason, that was my favorite part because it was so mischievous. And my favorite part was when we'd get the weed and we'd open the little bag and you'd go. No matter how it smelled, you'd go, yeah, smell this. You know, you give it to your friend to smell, and, like, it always smelled good because it's like, your first time ever smelling weed. It's not like you're some connoisseur of marijuana, but, like, that was just so exciting as, like, a kid. And then the little times I did smoke is, like, going into, like, just going into, like, a cul de sac and. Or Like. Like, especially because it was cold outside, so, like, the windows started, like, frosting up and stuff like that.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

And then smoking in, like, a neighborhood and, like, getting more and more. I love getting paranoid when I'm high for some reason. I just, like. Because I know it's not real, but I just love it. Like, I love being stressed and being like, oh, that's going on. I love that feeling. And that would happen so much when I was in cars because I was like, oh, my God, like, every headlight was an enemy. Every headlight was like a cop or private investigator. Did you FBI come in again?

[Jay]

Did you have friends that could drive high and some that couldn't. Like, I couldn't drive high, but I had a friend.

[David]

Yeah, friends. That is crazy.

[Jay]

And I'd be like, are you sure? Are you sure? He's like, bro, I am so good. And he'd go everywhere. He could go anywhere. He could drive four hours.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jay]

And I couldn't operate a car.

[David]

What's crazy to think, oh, my God, this totally unlocks something for me. I remember fully believing that driving high is not illegal. I think the people I was with. I was fully convinced that you're allowed to legally drive high because it's not alcohol. So I remember I would get into cars with people that were driving high, and I remember I drove high once, and I was like. I remember thinking to myself, I'm like, this should be illegal. This is really difficult.

[Jay]

It is illegal, but there's no way for them to really.

[David]

No, it's a thousand illegal. Yeah, it's like a th. It's. Yeah, it's just as bad, if not even worse. Yeah, it's really bad.

[Natalie]

Do you ever, like. Like when I'm. If I'm, like, high or if I just smoked weed or whatever. I don't know why I, like, can't explain it. What the feeling is. Like, I can't explain to you what it's like to be high.

[David]

What?

[Natalie]

Does that make sense?

[David]

No, it just feels like you just smoke. Like, whatever that sentence is. I don't know.

[Natalie]

Maybe talking about being high is like sending me into a high.

[Jay]

Send that. Say that again.

[Natalie]

Like, when I like.

[David]

You can't explain it. But why do you want to explain it?

[Natalie]

Because. Okay, like, for example, like, when I'll, like, think about this, I'll, like, psych myself out. I'll be high, and I'll be like. I'll wake up the next day obviously not high or something. And I'll think to myself, like, oh, I wonder What I was like, I wonder if I was like crazy when I was high. I wonder if I looked weird or whatever. And I always think when I'm high, I'm like, I should film myself so I can look tomorrow morning and see if I am in fact being a weirdo. But I stopped myself from filming myself because I'm like, oh, I don't want to psych myself out. Out. Like, what if this is all just a part of it? I can't film myself because I'm never supposed to know what it's like for me to be high.

[David]

That's crazy. That's how you think of it as a little.

[Jay]

I have something.

[Natalie]

But that was totally normal.

[Jay]

Yeah, I have something like that. Well, I'll, I'll, I'll record myself high and think it's so funny. And then I watch it the next day and I'm like, I'm like, oh.

[David]

I don't, I don't know, I feel.

[Natalie]

Like, oh my God.

[David]

I feel like there's been a lot of good moments where like I have gotten high and I've recorded and it kind of holds up.

[Natalie]

Really?

[David]

I mean, nothing maybe.

[Jay]

You're funny.

[David]

High support for this podcast and the following message comes from America's Navy. The Navy offers new graduates hands on training and experience in careers like computer science, aviation and medicine, plus education and sign on bonuses. Parents help your grads start their career [e-mail]. jay, can I tell you real quick about Mood, please? Well, we think at Mood, I'm speaking as, I'm, as I work at the company.

[Jay]

You work at Mood now.

[David]

Yeah. We think cannabis should be accessible, affordable, convenient and transparent. But most importantly, we believe in supporting the American farmers who make all of this possible. So we created Mood as an online source for 100 federal illegal cannabis grown on small pesticide free American farms. That's really sick. This is the offer we have for our listeners. 20% off your entire purchase. First time buyers only.

[Jay]

Wow.

[David]

So if you want that good Kush.

[Jay]

If you want that good, you want that good David's ass.

[David]

If you want that good stuff. Mood.com has created an entire line of functional gummies that target specific health concerns with 100% federally legal THC blends. They'll deliver them discreetly right to your doorstep and you get 20% off your first [e-mail] with promo code Views. We tried a bunch of gummies over here at the Views podcast. This is kind of how we get started. And their sleepy time gummy knocks us out in about 15 minutes flat. That's exactly what I use. When Jason starts speaking. I put in one of those sleepy time gummies and I am asleep immediately. No hangovers, no grogginess. And I wake up feeling amazing, knowing that Jason has left the house. And they have gummies for literally anything. Immune support. Menopause relief. Natalie. PMS symptoms. Natalie. Mental clarity. Natalie. Sexual arousal. Natalie. And each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown on small family owned farms.

[Jay]

Sexual arousal.

[David]

Yes. So head to mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with. And remember, use promo code views at checkout to save 20 on your first order. I mean, guys, come on, we're helping you out here with THC stuff. This is amazing. 20% off your first order, mood.com. for some reason, talking about this, like, reminds me of like my. Our high school teacher. I don't want to say his name, but he was like one of the better looking teachers. He taught geography. Do you remember who I'm talking about?

[Natalie]

Hell yeah, I do.

[David]

And every time he would teach, he'd put his cock on everyone's desk.

[Natalie]

Yeah, I mean, that's a really dramatic way of saying that.

[David]

I know, but I think, but I think that's we have to call, you know, a spade a spade.

[Natalie]

He would just put, he would put one leg up on the desk in front of everybody.

[David]

In front. In front of you. And he wasn't like doing it like in a perverted way at all. Do it to men. And like, he just like, it was.

[Natalie]

A weird, like habitual pose that he would like strike in the middle of him lecturing.

[David]

The only people that were fucked was the front row. Yeah, the front row of kids were gonna get the balls in their mouth.

[Jay]

Tucked in shirt. Khaki pants.

[Natalie]

Yep.

[David]

Khaki pants, tight.

[Jay]

Belt, tight.

[David]

Belt, tight.

[Natalie]

Belt, tight. Little khaki pants, tight package.

[David]

Uh, yeah, you saw the package.

[Jay]

Was he a good looking guy?

[Natalie]

Yeah, yeah.

[David]

Super attractive, athletic. Yeah, yeah. And I think like, yeah, if you were a girl in the class was like, what was it from your perspective? Because it was just funny for me. But like, were girls like, oh my God, it's so funny, or do you not think like that at that time?

[Natalie]

No, I think people, people would. But people thought, they thought, the girls thought it was weird.

[David]

Yeah, that was so funny. Yeah, but like, but he, like, just to preface, he wasn't doing. In a weird way, but yeah, the way he would stand is he'd like, he'd Put his leg up on your chair or desk or something. Not all the way up on your desk, but like on, like, one of the bars under the desk.

[Natalie]

Yeah, yeah.

[David]

And then he'd like. And then you're going to like a lunge almost. Yeah. And then you're. Yeah, it'd be like a lunch.

[Jay]

He's stretching.

[David]

Yeah, like a stretch. And then his crotch would be in direct eye line of the students.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

And you just had to take it for like 20 seconds. And he would, like, he would. He would, like, thrust back and forth. He'd like, rock as he. Yeah, he'd rock. Sorry, thrust is not the right word. But, like, he'd be, like, looking for his thoughts. He'd be teaching about teaching us about, like, the Middle east or, like, Dubai. And he'd be like, yeah, Dubai is incredible. And he's just fucking your face at the same time. But that was. That's definitely one of my favorite. One of my favorite teachers. And then we. Dude, there is so many pivot. Did you have pivotal teachers?

[Jay]

No.

[Natalie]

What?

[Jay]

I just didn't. Like, who.

[Natalie]

Like, how is it even possible?

[David]

Like, you don't remember, like, teachers that, like, changed your life?

[Jay]

I didn't have a teacher that changed my life.

[Natalie]

No way.

[David]

What the fuck is that? What does that even mean?

[Jay]

Just didn't. There wasn't anyone that I really connected with that was just, like, amazing.

[David]

How's that possible?

[Natalie]

That's crazy. I have so many.

[David]

I have so many.

[Jay]

Great.

[David]

It's almost to the point where, like, every teacher has taught me, like, some, like, Slumdog Millionaire type shit. Like, I've taken one thing from, like, every teacher. Like, I owe, like, me. I fucking. You know, I go non stop about the stupid shit, but. Yeah, well, who is. Who is yours? Like, who's somebody that you, like, pulled from?

[Natalie]

I don't know if I like, pulled from myself, but just like, I had one teacher in sixth grade, she was the language arts teacher. And this is the time where I was like, super teacher's petty. And, like, I would do book reports or whatever and everybody else I feel like would make. We had it together. The curly hair.

[David]

Okay, sure. Raw thing.

[Natalie]

Yes. Yeah, yeah. And she was just like. So, like, I always wanted to go above and beyond for, like, these projects or whatever, but, like, people like David would make me feel like a fucking idiot, you know, like, why are you trying so hard? And she would always be like. She would always, like, encourage me. And, like, she kept the kids. I had a. I was the last one to report one Day on this. On Greece. I did a project on Greece. I remember this project for the rest of my life. And I used actually a Taylor Swift song in my. I made a whole slideshow presentation for this project. And it was going over. The bell had already rung.

[David]

You're copyrighted.

[Natalie]

But I. But I hadn't finished my presentation. I still had to show this fucking slideshow that I made, right? And everybody was, like, trying to leave. And she made everybody sit there and, like, sit through the slideshow that I made so that I could, like, finish my presentation. And it was like, things like that. Like, she just always was, like, really encouraging of me and, like, so positive and, like.

[David]

Yeah, because she, like, understood both sides.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, here's an example. Like, Mr. Matouche was one of my favorite teachers. I liked him. I didn't take, like, necessarily, like, why I loved him so much. He'd bike to school every day. He was very passionate about being at school. Okay, It's a middle school, so he's. He'd ride his bike. And I lived right by this middle school at the time. So, like, anytime I'd ride by, even if it was 8pm, I'd see his little bike parked right outside his window. And I was like, oh, Mr. Matush. He was always, always the last one to leave. And, like, he taught digital film, which, like, was like, a big deal to me. Cause, like, that's kind of what I wanted. What I want, what I wanted to get into. And it was a big thing that he showed me that was, like, really, like, important to me. And he showed us. He really liked the Fray.

[Jay]

The band.

[David]

The band, yeah. And he'd play us music videos from the Fray. And for some reason, that was like. It's so ingrained in me that, like, that's helped me, like, create videos because of how he was like, he's like, this is what the song is portraying, and this is why this band is doing such a good job. And this is like, when, ok, Go was big with the Treadmill. The treadmill dances. And that same class was. There was a moment I sang next to this kid named David, and he was in the back of the class with me, and he was talking to, like, a friend. And I've told this before, but this is the moment I found out that masturbating is more than just a joke. I always thought people would always throw around the word masturbate or jerk off, like, as a joke in school. And I didn't know people actually did it. And they were talking to Each other. And they were like, what do you jerk off to? Blah, blah, blah. And then they turned to me and they're like, what do you masturbate to, David? And I laughed because I thought they were just, like, fucking with me. I was like, obviously, I don't masturbate.

[Natalie]

I'm not a loser.

[David]

That's like a loser thing. Like, you're jerking off like you're a loser. And I was like, I don't do that.

[Jay]

I love the how to save a life playing behind you.

[David]

How to save a life.

[Jay]

What do you mean you don't masturbate, Dave? Step one, you say you need to talk.

[David]

So, yeah, so that was.

[Jay]

Dave gets on his bike.

[David]

That was awesome.

[Jay]

Where did I go wrong? Turns the bike over.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Kicks the curb.

[David]

So, like, that was like. That was like another moment. And. And it was just like. And every teacher just had, like, its own. Their own specific way. Every teacher was passionate. That's what I think our school had. Every teacher absolutely loved what they did. And if they didn't love what they did, they loved just hanging out with the students and, like, conversating on a level that was like, kid. Like, that was, like, so friend level. Like, when you talk to your teachers, a lot of them were very much like they were your peers rather than like, these like, oh, that's so funny.

[Jay]

Maybe that's your age difference. Maybe people got a little more forward thinking with, like, teachers and kids by the time you were in high school. But when I was in high school, it was like the old ways. It was like, shut the fuck up. Don't fucking do anything. Just fucking get through this class. Turn your fucking work in. Don't fucking look at me. Don't talk. Don't move. It was like that.

[Natalie]

I just think.

[Jay]

And they were miserable.

[David]

Our teachers were very young.

[Natalie]

No, I think. I think. Yeah. I think our school district was also very young. Very.

[David]

The school was 7, 8 years old when we joined.

[Natalie]

When every teacher was young, teachers were young.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jay]

So there you go.

[Natalie]

There was, like, a camaraderie behind the.

[Jay]

Teachers, too, I'm sure.

[Natalie]

And everything was new. Like, we had new technology.

[Jay]

Like, teachers were fucking 80. They were 70 years old.

[David]

Oh, that history?

[Natalie]

No, never.

[David]

Not one. Yeah, not one. I think our oldest was probably your age right now, Jay.

[Natalie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

That was our oldest teacher at the time, which is kind of actually.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

No, yeah. No, that. That really did help out a lot.

[Natalie]

It's kind of crazy.

[David]

That's why, like, every class was. L. Even, like, fucking autos was like every class, like, our autos teacher always, like, we watched Fast and Furious. That was like a big thing.

[Jay]

What did you do in auto class? I need to know.

[David]

Nothing.

[Jay]

Okay. Besides watch Fast and Furious, what did you do? You must have done something. You're there for three months or six.

[David]

Months, however long you partner up. And fortunately.

[Jay]

Did you work on a car?

[David]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Okay.

[David]

There's one car that like the fucking really auto geeks work on, and then the other things, you're like, taking apart, like small parts of an engine.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

And luckily, if there's a class size of 20, there were at least five students that actually wanted to be there to learn about cars. Everyone else was there because they knew it was a fuck off like, class in school. And you would partner up. Every team would most likely have one kid that actually cared about autos and they would do 100% of the work. And in my group, it was this guy named Jordan. And he did everything.

[Natalie]

Really?

[David]

Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. He did. And we just. You just sit there and you just copy. I mean, like, I, like, I cannot explain to you. Cheated. I cheated. Everything, Everything, everything, everything, everything. Cheated through every single moment of high school like some cartel level cheating. Jake.

[Jay]

No, I know you. You know.

[David]

I know, I know, I know. You did it.

[Jay]

You did it better than anyone, didn't you?

[David]

And then Mr. Howitt was a very pivotal moment for both me. Now that's where we got to kind of know each other. Yeah, that was like where, like, he started comedy for me in some retrospect.

[Jay]

What did he do?

[David]

He was kind of like an out of the box, kind of funny, wacky teacher. So on every desk in his classroom, instead of having the classroom lights on, he went to a garage sale and he bought random lamps. So random lamps were on. Every desk had a different kind of lamp on it from a garage sale.

[Jay]

They would turn the lights out in the class.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

So it was all powered just by those lamps. And it's like, you don't really think.

[Jay]

Setting the mood it's like that intimate.

[David]

Because there was 30 lamps in the classroom.

[Jay]

Well, it's almost like a comedy club. They have little lamps on the table and.

[David]

Yeah. But it was like powerful. Like. Yeah, the whole room was fucking lit up. You have 30 lamps in a room. I don't care how small. Yeah, yeah. No, the room was bright.

[Jay]

Okay. Just to be goofy.

[Natalie]

No, he was just like a quirky guy. Everything he did was like, really quirky.

[David]

Everything. Yeah, yeah. He had this whole thing how he wanted to. To he want so his classroom was very, very.

[Natalie]

And it was all shaped. It was shaped in a. In a U shape so that he was in the center, and we were all, like, in the.

[Jay]

Round.

[Natalie]

Yeah, it was round.

[David]

His. His. His room was built different because it was the only classroom that we had these pods in school. So, like, the sixth grade had a pod, seventh grade had a pod, eighth grade had a pod. Basically, like a wing. Right. And his classroom was the only one that connected two different hallways. You could walk through his classroom and get to the other hall, get to the other wing of the school. It was really weird. So a lot of people would use his classroom just to cut through and, like. And he'd get. He'd give shit to people that would cut through. And you'd. Every time you cut through, you'd have to go, sorry, Mr. Howitt. You'd, like, apologize because you were just trying to get to the other thing because you were late. And, like, he had always had this idea. He wanted to put, like, a door stomp on the ground, so every time you stepped on it, it would power the lights in his room because he would get so much foot traffic that he thought that he got enough where he didn't have to waste electricity, and he'd be able to supply the power just into his classroom through the foot traffic. So that's the type of shit he would do. He was incredible.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

And then we had a teacher named. You know. And then we had a teacher who tried to sleep with a bunch of the students, which is weird, but she was a girl, so, like, all the guys were, like, into it. Come on.

[Jay]

Who?

[David]

Natalie for fondness. Yeah.

[Jay]

Who?

[Natalie]

I didn't know that was, like, real. I thought you guys all wanted to sleep with her.

[David]

Yes, but she was down. That was the thing.

[Natalie]

Oh, wait.

[David]

Yeah. She got in trouble. Yeah.

[Natalie]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[David]

Jesus Christ.

[Natalie]

I'm thinking about it.

[David]

She didn't sleep with anybody, but she'd, like, hold people. Like, after she would put you in.

[Natalie]

Detention, like, just one boy in detention, and then, like, do weird massage. That. It was weird.

[Jay]

Really?

[Natalie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's.

[David]

Did she get fired?

[Natalie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David]

Oh, from complaints?

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know who complained, though, because, like, everyone was kind of in on the joke.

[Natalie]

No, I think people complained.

[David]

Really?

[Natalie]

Yeah, bro.

[David]

Cause I remember, like, kids would come back and brag and be like, yeah, she fucking massaged me today. I guess I was on, like, a different side of it.

[Jay]

Interesting to be in detention and get massaged.

[David]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

So weird.

[David]

Oh, My God. There was one teacher. I felt so weird, and she would.

[Natalie]

Take your phone, too, so you couldn't like, contact anybody or do anything.

[Jay]

Damn.

[David]

Were you in this. Were you in this math class with me? Her name started with an M. I don't want to say, but we were so bad. I feel really bad. We were such a. Like, a bad class where we made her cry.

[Natalie]

Yeah. I was not a part of that.

[David]

Were you there? She just got so stressed. We weren't, like, calling her names or anything, but she couldn't get the classroom to shut up.

[Jay]

Right.

[David]

That she just, like, started crying and she left. She's like, younger.

[Jay]

What'd you do?

[David]

We felt really fucking bad. No one was being mean to her, but it was like, you know, like, when, like, kids are having side conversations and they're throwing shit at each other. Like, just. No one was, like, like, respecting her authority in that moment.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

And. Yeah. And she left crying. That was.

[Jay]

Did she come back?

[David]

She did come back five minutes later. Yeah. I also feel like. Like, I always think, like. Like, it was my teachers that were. That were, like, so great and pivotal, but I also think I also got lucky with the class we were in because, like. Like, even Mr. Killinger, like, who I like, talk about a lot on this podcast, who is, like, one of, like, my hall of fame teachers, one of my favorites. Like, even he came to our high school reunion a year ago because he said that our class is the one that he remembers the most. And that's a lot of teachers that I've met, even through middle school. And a lot of the teachers reference our class as something they remember. So I don't know. I always think that I have this. I can't tell if I'm the crazy one. And I just remember everything so well, and I'm so obsessed with it or if it truly was incredible for everybody involved. But we took, like, Emma and Eden to, like, walk through Vernon Hills. Emma and Eden are from Australia. They're our friends. And we showed them, like, this is their middle. Every time I'm in Vernon Hills, I do a full tour for whoever it is. Like, Mike. And Mike, who lives there, who's my best friend, is like, has been through this tour, like, 10 times, and I get, like, so passionate about it. I go, like, to the water fountain. I go. I had my first. I had. I peed my pants here from the police. Or I had my first kiss in this gazebo. Someone wrote some nasty things about me in this, like, train. But, yeah, I showed her, like, where we lived. And she's like, like, this is the perfect childhood. And I was like, are you just saying that cuz. Like that's what I want to hear or like you actually believe that? She's like, no, no, no. Like if I was to think of a perfect childhood.

[Jay]

Yes.

[David]

Like this is how I would conjure up this town.

[Jay]

It's pretty idyllic. Yeah.

[David]

Do you think that too, or am I crazy?

[Jay]

Yeah, no, no, it is. It's a very like Midwestern experience.

[Natalie]

It's very cliche Midwestern, but it's also like the setup that we specifically had that all five of us that are still currently hometown friends were just living in that close of proximity where I could just look out my window and see David's home and like wave like.

[Jay]

Like it's, it's ride your bike anywhere crazy.

[David]

Ride your bike anywhere. And like we weren't like, we were very fortunate where we were like lower class, but we definitely weren't anything above.

[Jay]

But the town is rich. That, that school is. Is. There's money in that school. You can see it.

[David]

Totally. We were. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jay]

You might have not had a lot of money, but. No, that someone in that town did.

[David]

We were. We were. Yes. It was interesting because it's. It was very much like we were the small fish in this big, big pond and we were like surrounded by all these like really wealthy people. But we were lower middle class.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

But, well, it's, it's like a choice suburb too.

[Jay]

It's like you could work in the city and then live there.

[David]

I'm telling you, I highly recommend people move to Vern Hills.

[Jay]

I know.

[Natalie]

The more we talk about it right now, I'm like, oh my God, we should all move back, all become teachers and all live in Greg's Landing on a cul de sac.

[Jay]

You do have good food.

[David]

We have everything.

[Natalie]

Everything. We have everything.

[Jay]

You have a lot of stuff there.

[David]

Everything. You. There's. There's. Yeah.

[Jay]

Anything you need. Is there.

[David]

Everything you need?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

The only thing that they don't have.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

Is like you won't see Justin Bieber like the local club. That's the only thing. Cuz like there are no local clubs. That's the only thing we don't have.

[Jay]

Right.

[David]

Everything else, we have it. And we don't have a beach, but we have a lake. Yeah, whatever. Hi guys. That's all the time we have. You guys got a real nostalgia special.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[David]

Thank you guys for listening. Let us know how you feel about Natalie starting our only fans, please.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

Let me know if you've ever found Jason's. I think he's lying to me. I know he's had an only fan.

[Jay]

What are you saying?

[David]

I feel like you've had one.

[Jay]

Don't you think you would know if I had an only fans?

[David]

No, because I feel like I would think.

[Jay]

Don't you think everyone would send it to you?

[David]

I would want, like, block that when I.

[Jay]

When I mess up the podcast people DM you. 500 people DM you. Don't you think I had an only fans? Someone would be like, oh, she's got an only fans.

[David]

Yeah, you're right. You're right. All right, guys, thank you. We'll see you for the next Views podcast. It's been so long. How have you been? Hello. I'm doing well, Dave. Why. Why are you talking that way? Please say one for a compliment or two for a question. Yeah, is weird. I think I'm going to go.

[Natalie]

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