Natalie (2:28)

Oh, my God.

David (2:29)

Yeah, it was. I texted, I texted, I texted, like, my group chat. Like, I just hit Jamie in the face. I don't think I can come back. But we came back next week and he's forgot. And he's so great. He's so welcoming. Yeah. Like, I. I brought. I bring everybody there. Like Alex, John, Ilia, Jay, you came and.

John (2:48)

Incredible.

David (2:49)

And he's the best storyteller, like, on the face of earth. He has, like a million stories.

John (2:54)

Yeah.

David (2:54)

And he said this interesting thing that I said on the pod a really long time ago. A really long time. Like, I think when we started. And I don't know if I necessarily agree with this statement that I made, but he kind of, like, almost backed it up. Jamie was saying when he started off in the comedy world.

John (3:07)

Yeah.

David (3:08)

That there was like, he went on stage a couple times and this old timer that's been there for a while was like, to him, you're funny. All you need now is time. Like, you just need experience. You need life experience. That's all you need. Like, there's no you. You can't sharpen your tool of being funnier other than with life experience. And I don't know if you remember, but I said this, like, five years ago. I was like. I had a realization that I think, like, everyone's like, if you're a funny person, you're born with the maximum amount of funny.

John (3:36)

Yes.

David (3:36)

But then your life experiences are the things are the only things that can make you funnier. That's like, I like. I don't know. I don't, like, necessarily 100% stand by it.

John (3:45)

So what do you stand by?

David (3:46)

Well, I think it's 50. 50. I think there are people that are just so funny that, like, if you don't have life experiences or, like, you don't even have. If you don't have vocabulary.

John (3:53)

Yeah.

David (3:53)

You can't be funny. That's what I suffer with. Like, you just, like, need to know things.

Natalie (3:59)

We have someone that's pretty funny in the room that is also lacking vocabulary.

David (4:03)

Yeah. John, John, you don't need vocabulary.

John (4:06)

What's the secret, John? Yeah.

David (4:08)

What's the secret of being comic? Like, you just forgetting things. Yeah. Just mixing things up. Dyslexia. That's funny.

John (4:16)

You know what he did that was. So this is what how I want to be. I wish I was more this way. He came in, the funniest thing he.

David (4:23)

Said was he walked into the Room. And he goes, dobreezy. Oh, Jamie Foxx. Yeah. He called you Doe Breezy. Which I thought was.

John (4:31)

No one's ever called you Doe Breezy.

David (4:32)

No, it's really crazy. He, like really hypes me up. It's so bizarre.

John (4:36)

He hypes you up. And then. And then what I loved what he did was he was like, you should just stand up. And you were like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. You should just stand up. And then he like walked you to his stage and. And he put you on stage and put a mic in your hand and was like, go, like, be funny. Go try, try, try. And I was like, oh, my God.

David (4:54)

Yeah, he has like a room.

John (4:55)

No one does that.

David (4:56)

He has like a stand up comedy room. Yeah, he's really funny. There was one time, like, I was playing pickle and then he was like, he was bringing people down on his golf cart. And then those people came up to me and they were like, the entire car ride down, Jamie kept saying that there's a big celebrity here and it's you. He kept hyping you up. I'm like, is Jamie Foxx on fucking meth? I thought it was. So. It's really funny.

Natalie (5:19)

I also never knew that Jamie Foxx is not his real name.

David (5:22)

Oh, my God, that was crazy. Wait, that's not his real name?

John (5:25)

No, no, I think I knew that.

Natalie (5:27)

It's Eric. Eric Bishop is his real name.

David (5:29)

Did you hear the story?

Natalie (5:30)

Yeah.

David (5:31)

That was insane.

Natalie (5:32)

That was the craziest thing.

David (5:33)

The story was. You want to say it? Yeah.

Natalie (5:35)

He was saying that back in the day when he was like. And he first started out in stand up. I didn't know that either. I thought he started in acting, but he started up as like a stand up.

David (5:42)

And if you don't know Jamie Foxx, he's in Django Unchained. He's. I mean, he's huge, but he's also a singer.

John (5:47)

Sure.

David (5:47)

He's in Gold Digger with Kanye. He's like Ray Charles.

John (5:50)

Oscar.

David (5:51)

Yeah, he's Oscar award, winning, Grammy award winning. He's incredible. Yeah.

Natalie (5:55)

But when he first started, he couldn't get booked. Like, he would go wait in line at the comedy stores or whatever. Comedy places. And he was the black guy in a room of a lot of white people. And they were just like, no, you're not getting. You're not getting up until later. You know, whatever. He get like the worst.

David (6:08)

And they were letting, like the girls up.

John (6:10)

Yeah. Okay.

David (6:11)

So that's why, long story short, he. He changed his name.

John (6:15)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

David (6:15)

He changed his name to, like, a unisex feminine name. So when the person was going through all the names, ye. They were like, jamie Foxx. That's a woman's name. Like, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, oh, my God, Jamie Foxx.

Natalie (6:27)

And it's like a sexy name.

David (6:28)

It's like a. Literally a sexy name. And he said, like, when he got off stage as his first day of being Jamie Foxx, people were like, yo, Jamie. And he was just, like, not even looking at them because, one, he didn't associate himself with the name, and two, he's like, that's not my name. But, like, it stuck with him. Like, that's so crazy. And now he is forever known as Jamie Foxx. And more name drop. We went to Adam Levine's.

Natalie (6:55)

Just one a week.

John (6:55)

Just get it all out.

David (6:58)

Let me get my name drops out at the beginning. Adam Levine's house. They had a private show in Santa Barbara. Natalie and I went with Susie and Olivia. Yeah, that was a fucking blast. That was a blast. That's one person that I wasn't expecting to be a big fan was Adam Levine's father. Adam Levine's like, we, like. Like, the band went out to, like, dinner after.

John (7:19)

Mm.

David (7:20)

And we stopped by, and his dad, like, stood up out of his seat and was like, I have been wanting to meet you for so long.

John (7:27)

How old is he?

David (7:27)

This is fucking crazy.

Natalie (7:29)

I don't know.

David (7:29)

I mean, like, I guess if he listens to this. 30. Super young. Yeah. But I thought that was, like, really cool.

John (7:37)

It's pretty wild. You watch your videos?

David (7:39)

Yeah. I met, like, I met Adam's brother, like, six, seven years ago now.

John (7:44)

Okay.

David (7:45)

And. And the first time I found out, Adam Levine watched the videos, like, six, seven years ago, and he's like, me and my brother, we put your videos on, like, in the movie theater and we watch them. That was especially really crazy because I was like, 20, like, 20 at the time we were making the vlogs. I was like, Adam Levine puts me in his movie room, like, in la. Like, what? Like, that's like. That's like so many things going on. Like Maroon 5.

John (8:07)

Yeah.

David (8:07)

Yeah, it's really wild.

John (8:08)

Damn.

David (8:09)

So look at that.

John (8:10)

Dave got Jamie Foxx. Who else? Adam Levine.

David (8:13)

I saw the name drops.

John (8:14)

Sydney Sweeney. Any Sydney Sweeney moments this week?

David (8:17)

No.

Natalie (8:18)

Sydney Sweeney, Adam's wife. Victoria's Secret model. The hottie. That was my highlight of the week. She's so cool.

David (8:23)

Natalie loves meeting her supermodels. Natalie has so much. Every time we meet, like, every time there's a supermodel in the wild, I just like, turn Natalie and like, which one is it?

Natalie (8:32)

Because I know all them. My name.

David (8:33)

I'm like, what is she known for? And then like, every. Every woman, apparently is the hottest of her generation. They're all like about the same age.

Natalie (8:42)

She's like, oh, it's funny too, cuz like, Vahati was in Sports Illustrated swimsuit.

John (8:46)

And she's obviously like, same as your year.

Natalie (8:48)

Yeah, no, no, not my year. Not my year. She's like an og. And sh. Kept being like. It was like the funniest thing, like just the both of us in the room and like, I don't know. Just funny that.

David (8:57)

Yeah. I wanted to tell her that Natalie was Sports Illustrated.

John (9:00)

Why didn't you?

Natalie (9:00)

And he was like. He was like, natalie, go up there and tell her that you were also in the issue.

David (9:03)

And I was like, absolutely. Really?

John (9:05)

You.

David (9:06)

You, you. You know, it's hard to believe that's the bit, John. Ju. You fucking ugly bitch. He just gets it out there.

John (9:16)

Are you sure?

David (9:17)

Sports Illustrated?

John (9:18)

Yeah.

Natalie (9:18)

The one in the bikinis? Yeah.

John (9:20)

Not Skank magazine.

David (9:22)

Skank magazine, but yeah. No, it was a good time. Then we. Then we got to borrow the Batmobile from our friend for another bit, which is really fun.

John (9:31)

Yeah. And crazy. He had crazy cars in there. There was like. We had like a Flintstones mobile.

David (9:36)

Jurassic park has the craziest cars. It's like, incredible.

John (9:40)

Yeah.

David (9:41)

And then after the bit, Jay, I was with him for an hour and a half because he couldn't get the Batmobile back up. It died. It died on the street. So I sent my security from my house to stand guard because the Batmobile just sitting in the middle of the street. So I was just like, can you just go stand till the, like till the morning till, like, his team can come get it?

John (9:59)

Wow.

David (10:00)

They just stood there with the Batmobile. So no one, like, tags it or anything, but a really, really dope car. Oh, I thought of something the other day. I. As I was shooting, I was shooting with somebody. They said something that was like, not controversial, but they thought was controversial, and they said, everybody finds a reason these days. That's what, you know. That's a typical saying.

John (10:20)

Sure.

David (10:20)

Then I thought of my genius new saying that was. It's not everyone finds a reason these days. It's that these days find everyone. It's pretty cool. Oh, I think that's what it Is. It's just that, like, look at you, Mr.

John (10:35)

Poet Laureate.

David (10:36)

I mean, kind of. No, like, think about it. It's. It's these days. These days now, like, everyone has. Everyone has a voice. So you offend. So there's, you know.

John (10:46)

Yeah.

David (10:47)

Every. Every culture, everything is. Everybody's like. Everybody's a voice. Everybody's. Every is a critic is the way to say it. So I think. I think that's why a lot more things are offensive, or at least they play on, because more people are vocal about it, which in some aspects, it's incredible, and some aspects it's annoying.

John (11:04)

Right.

David (11:05)

So, yeah, there's, you know, there was definitely, like a. Like a white line of.

John (11:10)

It's funny to see, like, celebrities get, like, just torn apart now.

David (11:15)

I always get.

Natalie (11:16)

And then.

John (11:16)

Because I remember when there wasn't the Internet and be like, those people, they were just, you know, you couldn't touch them. I always couldn't touch them.

David (11:23)

Why celebrity, still celebrity, like, just fucking go. Like, just, like, chill. Unless you're a singer.

John (11:29)

But. But what if you have a movie. Movie to promote? What if you.

David (11:31)

But just stop. Just go to Vernon Hills.

John (11:34)

Just stop making movies.

David (11:35)

Just go to Vernon Hills.

John (11:37)

I don't know, but that's. They can. They have to promote the movie.

Natalie (11:40)

It's part of the job.

David (11:41)

I'm talking about like, those, like, uber rich people that, like, I guess they still must love it, but, like, go, like, enjoy time with your family. Like, you've made it. You're lucky. Like, just like, fucking go.

John (11:49)

We've had this conversation before. I've. I've taken that side, too. I know what you mean.

David (11:53)

Right. Yeah. I'm only saying this for no reason at all. I feel like that's like. Yeah. I guess it just depends, like, if you really love your job. You love your job. That's right. Kind of stupid argument.

John (12:03)

It's pretty cool, actually, to shoot a movie, but the. It's pretty fun.

David (12:06)

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Brace the rudders. Race the sails. Raise the sails. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching. Over. Roger, Wait. Is that an enterprise sales solution? Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title, and more. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started today at LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply@blinds.com, it's not just about window treatments.

John (12:40)

It's about you.

David (12:41)

Your style, your space, your way. Whether you DIY or want the pros to handle it all, you'll have the confidence of knowing it's done right. From free expert design help to our 100% satisfaction guarantee, everything we do is made to fit your life and your windows. Because@blinds.com, the only thing we treat better than windows is you. Shop blinds.com Labor Day mega sale happening now. Save up to 50% sitewide plus a free measure. Rules and restrictions may apply. The genius quote I came up with got me, like, inspired to look up more quotes. And I was like, what other quotes, like, are really cool. So can I read you some?

John (13:14)

Yes.

David (13:15)

These are. This is gonna. This is a really good segment of David's favorite, newest quotes. You can apply them to your life. I think these are great. Ready? These are my favorite quotes I've written down. I looked up, and you. You tell them how much you like them.

John (13:25)

Okay, we'll rate them on a scale one to ten. Here we go.

David (13:27)

Okay. My first one is only a fool trips on something behind them.

John (13:33)

Oh, that's really good, John. What does that one mean?

David (13:40)

Trip someone behind them. That's what he said. Oh, like you tripping someone. You stick your foot out. You know how you. You kick their shoe and then their shoe flies off a little bit? Yes. From behind. Got it. What do you rate that quote? That sounds dumb. Even though he put his own spin.

John (13:57)

On it, I don't think that's what it is. That doesn't make sense.

David (13:59)

No, John, Only a fool trips on something behind them. It's like you trip on things that are in front of. Dude, I can't believe I'm doing this. You trip on things that are in front of you. Right. So if a situation's behind you or a problem's behind you, no need to trip over it.

Natalie (14:16)

Like, don't dwell on the past.

David (14:17)

I'll make it easier. So he's not tripping on anyone? No.

Natalie (14:21)

A better saying is, I can't tell if he's pretending.

David (14:23)

I think this one. He's acting. This. You're acting. Right, Right. Okay.

John (14:30)

I think you have too much of a literal brain. Like, you have a science brain.

David (14:33)

I do have a little.

John (14:34)

What it is. A little. A little brain.

David (14:37)

Guys, I got more. I got more. You see what I did there? This one is. This one's a little religious. Okay, ready?

John (14:44)

Okay.

David (14:45)

Why seek validation from a world that crucified a perfect man? Pretty good. That's a good one.

John (14:51)

No, now I got John brain. I'm trying to follow that once. Why seek validation?

David (14:54)

He goes, who did you crucify behind you?

John (14:57)

Why say It. One more time.

David (14:59)

Why seek validation from a world that crucified a perfect man? Ah.

John (15:03)

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

David (15:05)

Okay, this one I've known for while. I really like this one. I have it on a snow globe here in my house. When you turn and face the sunshine, all the shadows fall behind you.

Natalie (15:12)

I love that one.

David (15:13)

That one's nice. Easy to understand. I'm not going to repeat it for you, Jay. I know. I could tell.

John (15:18)

I got it.

David (15:18)

You sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John (15:20)

Sunset's night. The sun is nice.

David (15:22)

Yeah. Slob on my knob like corn on the cob.

Natalie (15:25)

That's my favorite.

David (15:26)

Yeah, that's navy. There's two more guys. Two more. Bear with me here. This is really important. I like this segment.

John (15:32)

My neck, my crown.

David (15:33)

I like this.

Natalie (15:33)

You're inspiring the people.

David (15:35)

No, I feel like we need more things where we, like, inspire things.

John (15:38)

Inspiring is good.

David (15:39)

Yeah. Okay. This is a good one. Never miss someone who knows how to find you.

Natalie (15:44)

I like that.

David (15:45)

Yeah, it's, like, good. Yeah. These are.

Natalie (15:48)

You should write a book.

David (15:49)

I mean, I didn't come up with these stolen from the Internet, but, like, that one's fucking good. I love that saying. Like. Like, what is it? Like, if someone could, they would. Or something like that.

John (16:00)

Your book would be like, join them.

David (16:02)

Can't shoot. Can't beat him. Join them. Can't beat him. Join them. No, John, you're just, like, throwing out another, like, rhymey phrase. No, no, no. It's just, like, the fact that, like. Like, you know, if you're, like, texting a girl and she's like. Or a guy, and they're like, if you wanted. I can't this week. There's no such thing. Yeah. As can't this week. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. I don't care who you are. Unless you're, like, rockets taking off. Actually, even then, your priority's the rocket. Like, that's just it. Like, it's just. He doesn't want to. You're just not the number one priority. That's how I see it.

John (16:32)

He's just not that into you. That was a famous phrase. Good one.

David (16:36)

Okay. And then this is a good one. There's nothing in nature that blooms all year round, so don't expect yourself to.

Natalie (16:44)

That's good, too.

David (16:44)

Pretty damn good. Yeah. So that's it. These are. This is. This is all the ones I have for this episode.

Natalie (16:50)

Are you writing these down and then thinking about them and internalizing them for yourself?

David (16:54)

Really? There. Like, there's, like, 10 of them that I.

John (16:57)

Sounds like nothing you would ever, ever apply.

Natalie (16:59)

Are you preach.

David (17:01)

No, it seems like he could because all. Yeah, no, so this is why this flies to Dave.

John (17:10)

Like, I can't.

David (17:10)

You see he was canceled. I didn't say that.

John (17:15)

Like, I can't see you like being somewhere and you know, saying that quote to yourself and looking at the sun and be like, well, Dave, the shadows are behind me. You know what I mean?

David (17:24)

I don't know.

John (17:25)

I do like, you should try to though.

David (17:27)

I do like, I do like things that are written pretty. I do actually I haven't been able to look at these like as much, but like, I do like, like lame quotes like that. Not lame, sorry, not lame, but just.

John (17:36)

Like the quotes are great and I.

David (17:38)

Like those quotes cuz they. There's like some actual like reason behind it. Like it makes sense in my head.

John (17:43)

Well, Natalie said something really interesting right before we started recording, which was you were looking at a picture of yourself when you were ripped and you were like, wow, I was really ripped. And Natalie, what did you say?

Natalie (17:52)

I said that David has this problem where he can't in the moment. He doesn't like, appreciate.

David (17:56)

Yes. No, no, no, that's not, that's not it. That's. I have that problem.

Natalie (18:01)

You can't be something about. I don't remember what I said.

David (18:03)

It's like never enough.

Natalie (18:04)

It's like you're very glass FMD kind of person.

David (18:07)

100% for sure. And like, thank God I am because like, you know, that's. That's how I think how it should be. But, but no, no, that's, that's, that's a whole different thing with like, when you're in shape, like you start getting so nitpicky. You're like this A.B. dude.

John (18:24)

No, no, no, that's. It's not about that. It's not about. We're not saying like.

David (18:27)

No, no, I know, I'm agreeing with her, but I'm saying that specific moment, right, had to do with like, literally, like, I remember when I was like fully had all six packs, right?

John (18:36)

Yeah.

David (18:37)

I remember like there would be a day where I would have an extra slice of fucking cheese.

John (18:42)

Yeah.

David (18:42)

And the next morning I would wake up and I'd be like, oh my God, it's fucking gone. That's a. That's mental to think like that, right? You know how angry that made me. Like, that makes me so angry. And that's why I have a divide between me and Ilya. It just, it just, it really makes me it really makes me mad, like, to like, count stuff like that. And I've. I get into this argument every time we're on the pod about health and fitness. Like, now I'm so happy to be in, like, a place where, like, I'm not, like, I'm actually thinking about what I'm eating.

John (19:14)

Right.

David (19:15)

But I'm still not.

Natalie (19:16)

Like, you're still enjoying.

David (19:17)

I'm still enjoying, but I'm definitely not doing what I was doing before.

John (19:20)

No, I think it was bad. The conversation about health and fitness is not what I'm getting at. I'm getting at the idea of, like, hey, you just posted a great vlog. Like, I just hope you enjoy, Enjoy yourself. And I hope you recognize and you take these little moments for yourself and be like, oh, good job, Dave. Or you have that inner monologue.

David (19:38)

That's all there's. Hold on. I don't like when people do this to me. What you're doing here.

Natalie (19:43)

Oh, my God, what is he doing?

John (19:44)

We finally, we have something to talk about.

David (19:46)

What do we do? Because. Because I think. I think I have moments where I'm like, like, like, yeah, I'll post like a. A vlog or I'll go shoot a bit.

John (19:57)

Sure.

David (19:57)

And it's not the way I want it to be.

John (19:58)

Right.

David (19:59)

And then I'll be very glass half empty about it. But, like, but like, let's be honest. And we're calling a spade a spade here. Like, I've been very happy doing absolutely nothing for the last three years and just sitting here and I'm very. I'm very. Glasses filled to the top, brim, pouring down, waterfall, infinity pool.

John (20:18)

Right.

David (20:18)

For how I view, like, and how excited I am about, like, just, just hanging out in life. So I, I think there's a mix of that. I think. I think when it comes to my work, I'm glass half empty.

John (20:29)

Okay.

David (20:30)

When it comes to just, like, take smelling the flowers, I think I'm a little bit different. Okay, but you can argue with me.

John (20:36)

Yeah, no, I see what you're saying. I just hope that you take the time to.

David (20:40)

Fuck you.

John (20:42)

I hope you take the time to, like, be nice to yourself.

David (20:45)

That's all really sweet, but.

Natalie (20:46)

No, I think he takes. I think he really hypes himself up.

David (20:49)

Yeah, I agree on that one. All right, so what's the problem?

Natalie (20:52)

It's about the others around you.

David (20:54)

You want me to build you up?

John (20:55)

Up?

Natalie (20:56)

Yeah.

David (20:58)

I yelled at Natalie today and she has like a knee spasm.

John (21:02)

Yeah.

Natalie (21:02)

Oh, my God, my knee today has just been like, spasming.

David (21:04)

It's. And it's driving me nuts because she'll sit by me editing, and my leg.

Natalie (21:09)

Will just fall on, like.

David (21:10)

And I'll literally go.

John (21:11)

Natalie making noise? No, but she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. She's making, like.

David (21:18)

Scares the out of me. It's like her sneezes are already one thing that I have to deal with. Like, it's. It's like a volcanic eruption from her throat. Like, her sneezes are really loud. And now she's. She's picked up a new spasm, which is crazy. And then she found out that it's. When I stress her out, her knee starts to spat. Crazy, dude. It's like, crazy. It's not that crazy, but, yeah.

Natalie (21:39)

He was yelling at me about something else. And then my knee started twitching again. I was like, I found out why it's twitching. You're stressing me out.

David (21:46)

Saw a TikTok the other day. This is really funny. It was. Tell me your. Tell me your. Tell me what your job is, but in the most Neanderthal way possible.

John (21:55)

Okay.

David (21:56)

The comments are really good. The comments are. I took some screenshots. It's me see man no swim. Me swim lifeguard.

Natalie (22:05)

Oh, okay.

David (22:07)

Someone commented, you don't want grandpa. I take grandpa.

John (22:11)

Elderly care worker retirement home.

David (22:14)

Me sleep. Me do nothing. Caveman husband, hunt and gather. There's another one. That's me applying job. Say no. Me apply job, say no. Me apply job. Say no car. No clean car. Now clean. Me carry many plate arms. Strong balance like mountain goat. Oh, this one's good. Sorry. Last one. Sorry. I know I'm finding joy in the stupidest things here. Dig and rock. All right? Dig in rock. Look at rock. Understand rock. Oh, he's a geologist. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good.

John (22:54)

Wow.

David (22:55)

I love tick tock.

Natalie (22:56)

Yeah, it's pretty great.

John (22:57)

You do. So open your TikTok right now. What's the first video that comes up?

David (23:01)

Oh, that's a good question. These are always so scary. I saw Shawn Mendes do an interview once.

John (23:05)

Yeah.

David (23:06)

And it was like. And someone asked him, like, can we see her for you, Paige? And he was like, I'd rather not. And I never, like, understood it. And then I, like, like, started to realize, like, these are really, like, tailored.

John (23:16)

Yeah.

David (23:17)

Like. Like, there. There's. There was a day where, like, I had, like, five hot girls in a row. Just, like, hot girls. I was like, what is this? And it, like, literally made me feel. I was like, if somebody saw this, it'd be like, this is concerning. I had it.

John (23:30)

That's happened to me.

David (23:31)

I had to go into settings and here, let's see my first one right now. Get off that dying julio. Okay.

John (23:41)

What is it? That. Is that a dance video?

David (23:43)

Yeah, it's a girl twerking. No, I'm k. Oh, my God. No, it's an HBO Max commercial, so that doesn't count. You want to hear Ilya's favorite quote?

John (23:51)

Sure.

David (23:52)

Fuck this guy.

Natalie (23:54)

I don't know if I like hearing.

David (23:55)

Can you give me the first word?

Natalie (23:56)

It's something about power and greatness. I know it.

David (23:59)

It's something.

John (23:59)

I'm going to be a billionaire.

David (24:02)

Is it. There is no difference. Does it go. No. There is no such thing as free cheese. Oh, okay, good. Only free cheese is in a mousetrap. I like. I like this one better. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Why?

Natalie (24:16)

What does that mean?

David (24:17)

The second mouse. The first mouse dies in the mousetrap trying to get the cheese, and the second mouse learns from the first mouse, can't get trapped, eats the cheese.

Natalie (24:25)

So someone has to die.

David (24:27)

One of us in this room will be executed today for the podcast, not me. No. And only then will we be able to achieve Golden Globes status. Golden Globes. And the Illuminati of personal called me. My sister texted me yesterday. She goes, are you an Illuminati? I just sent her back the Shh emoji. I'm not telling her. When you joined, did they have you keep it a secret, Jay?

John (24:55)

Join what?

David (24:57)

Very good, dude. John just. John just freaked out.

Natalie (25:01)

I just got scared.

David (25:02)

John just freaked out for a second. Cut that out, Jay. No, I'm kidding. Oh, John, I've been meaning to talk to you about this. What? Someone. So John wants to move out with his girlfriend. Oh, Johnny.

John (25:19)

What?

David (25:20)

Actually, let me backtrack it.

John (25:22)

I feel like Ilya started a trend.

David (25:25)

Julia wants to move out, wants to get her own place. Yeah. And I don't know.

John (25:32)

Are you gonna cry?

Natalie (25:34)

He starts breaking down.

David (25:35)

Can you just give me a sec? You need a Kleenex and. No. Well, basically. Basically when I. Basically when I found out about this, I was like, john, what the fuck? Like, we'll give you guys the bigger room, whatever.

John (25:48)

Your room.

David (25:49)

No, Alex is in the bigger. Alex is the best view in the house.

John (25:52)

Oh, yeah.

David (25:52)

Like, if we were to compare, like, how much rent should be in every room? John's rent would probably cost 3,000 and Alex's room would cost, like, 8,000. Yeah. Like, Alex's room is, like, by far the best room. So I was like, okay, what if you and Alex switch rooms? And Alex, Alex does not care for the room because he doesn't care for the view. And he actually wants a colder room that's John's. So it was perfect. So situation solved. But then I read some comments and some comments, yeah, like on Snap. And they were like, Dave, you gotta let your friends go.

Natalie (26:21)

Oh my God.

David (26:23)

And it made me realize I totally fucking do. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

John (26:30)

It's funny that comments made more sense to you than the people around you that got through to you.

David (26:36)

Yeah. Well, also my sister texting me the other day. It was really funny. She texted me, she's like, she's like. We were like having like a argument about something about like, I don't know. And she's like, what makes you happy? And then I sent a picture of like John playing pickle and she goes, don't you pay him? And I'm like, fuck, dude. Like, this is crazy. Yeah, I guess I fucking pay John now, so. Yeah, yeah, you didn't have to pay me. No, I know, I know, I know, I know know. But like I pay you cuz you are my friend, not backwards. That makes sense.

John (27:06)

Whoa, wait, what?

David (27:07)

Wait, what?

John (27:08)

So John, you're going to go?

David (27:10)

Go where? Oh yeah, you're going to move out.

John (27:11)

Move out. Don't play this Abbott Costello with me.

David (27:15)

John doesn't want to.

John (27:18)

Like it's like a. Who's on first? You know who's on first.

David (27:20)

Don't do that with him. Yeah, yeah.

John (27:22)

So you are moving out.

David (27:25)

I told her to extend the Runway. Here's John's problem. Let me, let me do it. Cuz I feel.

John (27:30)

Extend the Runway.

David (27:31)

Extend the Runway. John doesn't want to pay rent. Rent.

John (27:34)

Gotcha.

David (27:35)

So if he moved out with his girlfriend. Yeah. Oh, he'd have to pay rent?

John (27:38)

Yeah, of course. You have to pay for everything. Food, eat.

Natalie (27:41)

I mean, to be honest, like I feel like wi Fi. I mean I get, you know, growing up and like wanting to move out. I obviously did that. But I also feel like, you know, I don't know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't leave.

David (27:52)

Hell yeah. Natalie drank the Kool Aid.

Natalie (27:54)

Well, no, I just like not paying rent is such an amazing thing.

John (27:58)

Yeah.

Natalie (27:58)

Rent is so expensive.

David (28:00)

So expensive.

Natalie (28:01)

So. And if you do, if you get the bigger room, your room right now is ass. I can't believe that you even still live there.

David (28:06)

Still. That's a horrendous room.

Natalie (28:08)

Yeah.

David (28:08)

Okay, you guys did not say anything for the Last two goddamn years.

Natalie (28:11)

Because I never go in there. And then when I do, I'm like, oh.

David (28:16)

Hey John, it matches your up. Obviously. You could change the. In your room, dude. Bro, I can't get rid of the goddamn gel blaster lighting. You have to keep those. That's our. That's our armory in case the apocalypse ever happened.

John (28:32)

Well, people should know that. Yeah. David had a little thing with gel blasters. And so one wall is like all.

David (28:38)

Gel blasters, not just the whole. The whole fucking room.

John (28:41)

Yeah.

David (28:42)

Is. Imagine an arcade and then a rainbow came and fucked all the walls. It's not. It's like. It's pretty crazy. I mean, it's a trick. And the craziest part is he doesn't even have a ceiling. Like, the walls are covered by jail blaster and his ceiling are like cotton balls to mimic clouds. And if you hit a button, it'll look like there's a thunderstorm in the clouds.

John (29:06)

It's nice when you get freaky, huh, John?

David (29:07)

Yeah, he's like, I turn that shit on, man. Well, speaking of showtime. Speaking of getting freaky on his. On the panels behind his bed are like light panels. They're like little squares and like over the months they've fallen off because he's getting freaky in there, I think. Okay, that's not. That's not how it happens, dude. Anyway, the double sided tape.

Natalie (29:27)

Tape, obviously, that's all right, own it, John. You're a freak.

David (29:31)

I hear you masturbating. I hear you jerking off. Do you? Yeah. He goes. He's the craziest one. His girlfriend's not there. This man is a solo maniac.

John (29:41)

Does he speak in a different language.

David (29:42)

When he jerks off? He speaks in Filipino.

John (29:44)

He does, yeah, that's what I figured.

David (29:45)

Tagalog. And he just goes crazy by myself. No, no, but looking up at the clouds. But yeah, the clouds are the scariest part because I'm like, how. How have you not removed those? Cause like I could. Just one. It's the fucking craziest flame fire hazard I've ever seen in my entire life.

John (30:02)

Yeah.

David (30:02)

And I've walked into John's room and there was a candle on at like 4am and he wasn't home. Oh, like really, really scary. The whole house would be ablaze if one of those clouds caught on fire. And also like, John sleeps with his mouth open like a fuck. Like the Hoover fucking Dam. So like, I'm surprised. How do you even know that?

John (30:17)

I've.

David (30:18)

I come in there to make sure you're still home. You're still here. Right, John? There he. No, but, but like cloud. I'm surprised like a piece of cloud hasn't fallen into his mouth and just like choked him. So. Yeah, you gotta fucking change that room. But John, you should move out. It's a work in progress. You're 31. Mm. And I'm putting my foot down. Wow. Yeah. And I'm gonna play the other side.

John (30:41)

The move, John really would be and would be to get Julia to move in here. And you guys don't pay rent. You save for a house.

David (30:46)

That's what they're doing. That's exactly what they're doing, actually.

John (30:49)

Oh.

David (30:49)

Not about the house, but the rent for sure. Yeah. They're. Because John's like, why would we get a place? Like we're gonna be gone for Thanksgiving and Christmas, we might as well start stay at Dave's for a little. Yeah, so he's gonna. He's gonna stock up the money and then February, maybe you'll move. Yeah, February, March. It's not gonna happen. It's so fun. I can't wait to look back at. Well, actually Julia will make it happen. Yeah, Julia's gonna want. But if it was up to John. Yeah, if it was up to me. Dude, what the fuck? Why do I pay the big man when I can is not pay the big man. Oh my God. Yeah, it's pretty funny. Yeah, that makes sense. That adds up. Dude, Alex, like, I. I feel like I have to like buy random things for his room. Be like, can you just please hang this up?

John (31:34)

Yeah, you know why?

David (31:35)

Because my room's clean, so there's room to decorate. Well, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, you should be decorating a lot more. You think my room had you just like snack a lot? Dude, your room would be. Your room would be clean. He has. He has jam. He has jam in. In like luggage bags. Like, he like. Like he illegally imported jam.

John (31:53)

Where'd you get the jam?

David (31:54)

It's really weird. I don't know why he does that shit.

John (31:57)

You big into jelly?

David (31:58)

It's okay. First off, it's habanero blueberry jelly. It's really good. Oh, so it is illegal shit. So it's like. Yeah. Okay, so make.

John (32:06)

What do you do with it? You put it on toast.

David (32:08)

Crackers, you know, up in the room, obviously. Yeah, the crackers. Cracker station.

John (32:12)

You got a butter knife?

David (32:13)

Biscoff cooks.

John (32:14)

You got a butter knife up there.

David (32:15)

To put it on there? Yeah, sometimes, you know, I have a basket of goodies for Joe. Juliet, too. It's just a bunch of candy for Julia. Yeah, right. Julia has no idea where that basket is. It just so happens to be on John's side of the bed. No, it's not. It's on her side. But we have Alex here, guys, who just had his first DJ set. Alex has been training to be a DJ for a really long time, I would say.

John (32:37)

That was, like, one of my favorite, favorite, favorite clips I've ever seen in your vlog was when you were. When he cried, Crying. Like, it's like, such a sweet moment. Like, that's crazy. And I get it. It. I get it. Like, it was. The look on your face was like someone gave you, like, $100 million.

David (32:53)

That's what it felt like. Like, David's obviously done a load for me, moved me out here, gave me a car, whatever. This is, like, by far the most.

John (33:01)

I got one more quote for you. Give a. Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Yes. Give a man a fishing reel.

David (33:08)

You taught me how to life. Give a man.

John (33:10)

You taught me how to DJ a.

David (33:12)

Nightclub in a bedroom.

John (33:13)

Yeah. Give a man his own nightclub in his bedroom, he'll work for life. Something like that.

David (33:17)

Yeah. Hopefully. That'd be really sick.

Natalie (33:19)

Yeah, it would be cool.

David (33:20)

Yeah. So how was. That was the first show. It was incredible. I had so much fun.

John (33:24)

It was like. It's like euphoric.

David (33:26)

No, I wasn't there for that. So I wasn't there for the moment. If you see in the vlog at the end of the credits, Ferris, who we work with, like, got a moment where Alex was crying. I wasn't there. I was upstairs. And Alex is, like, crying, too. Alex is. You're crying too. I was crying, too. Yeah, I was. I was crying. I was stressed.

John (33:48)

Yeah.

David (33:48)

So.

Natalie (33:49)

So it's a lot of people.

David (33:50)

Yeah, I was really stressed. And the lights, everything stopped working, like, right before. So I wasn't having the same experience as Alex. Alex was like. Alex was so zoned in on his music when I was. Even when I was like, the lights aren't working. He's like, I don't care. Just. I just need to, like, play this. Like, are the speakers working? Like, that's all he. He didn't care about anything else other than his songs. But I was so stressed about, like, how the shots were going to look and everything was falling apart, so I didn't think it went well. While Alex was downstairs crying.

John (34:19)

Oh.

David (34:20)

So I'm like, in my room and I'M like, fuck. I'm, like, having my own panic attack. And then there's this moment where Alice goes up to Natalie. And what happens? Nat? He just.

Natalie (34:33)

He was just, like, tearing, like, crying or whatever. And then I was confused. I didn't really know why he was crying either. And then I figured out that it was out of joy.

David (34:40)

Yeah.

Natalie (34:41)

And then whatever.

David (34:42)

Natalie was obviously hearing from me the most where I was stressed. And so then I got a text on my phone saying, dave, you got to come down here. Alex is crying. And I'm like, oh, my God, everybody's panicking. And then. And then we. And then I still haven't seen Alex. Everyone, like, got on the bus to go to the party bus.

John (35:01)

Yeah.

David (35:02)

And I'm just like, I can't go to the club. Like, I'm down on the dumps. I wish this fucking Cairo. Like, there was, like, pyro, and there were certain things I wanted to work in the room that weren't working. And I was so stressed out about them. I was like, I'm just gonna stay home and just sleep. Like, I was just in a. I was not in the best mood. But then I was like, I promised the people at the club that I'd stop by, so I gotta go do that. And I walked in and I knew that Alex was crying. And I saw Alex, like, right when I walked in. And I didn't even. I didn't, like, I didn't want to talk about it because I was like. Because, like, I just. I don't want this to ruin everything. So I was just, like, walked by Alex. He didn't even hear me because he was drunk and having a really good time. But I walked by him and I go, I know, I know, I know. We'll talk later. And then I go up the ferry and I go. And I go, tell me what happened with Alex. Why is he crying? And he's like, he loved it. And I'm like, be dead ass with me. What happened? And then he's like, dead ass. He, like, had the best time of his life. And I'm like, ferris, dead ass. Like, we don't lie on dead ass. And he's like, I'm not fucking kidding. Then I went up to Alex. I was like, how was it? He goes, it was amazing. And I go, are you? I was like, wow, it's crazy. Like, what two completely different experiences we had. I had no fucking idea because I was so stressed about all the shots.

John (36:18)

Wow, that's great.

David (36:18)

Yeah. Damn, it's really funny. But yeah, it turned out great. His DJ name is DJ Rent Free. I don't know if you want to stick with that. You can always change it, you know, like, don't. Later. Yeah, for now, I'm. No, I think. Oh, for now you're gonna go DJ Rent Free. Yeah.

John (36:32)

You got the other names thinking Burker Layton.

David (36:34)

No, it's just tough. It's tough to like you. It has to be something like, you know, like a kitchen item, like butter knife or butter squash. It can't. Like, that's kind of what. Or like a non word, like Z. Like, that kind of thing. Well, yeah, but then you. You don't want to get into, like, Apex. Like, you don't want to get it to. I do. You don't want to go. You want to get into, like, 2011, like, call of Duty. Like, cool names. Like, you know what's actually cool? Starkiller. Something like. Something like that would have been really cool when you were 12, right? Like, think of a name where you were trying your hardest to be cool when you were really young, but it would come off lame. Now I feel like that's kind of where we're at. I feel like that's the market. Tennis Killer. You're like, tennis Killer.

John (37:20)

Fifth grade.

David (37:20)

Tennis Killer is where I got that inspiration from. But Starkilla is like, damn.

John (37:24)

What's Starkiller?

David (37:26)

Starkilla?

John (37:26)

What's Starkilla?

David (37:28)

Nothing. It just sounds like a really.

John (37:29)

Oh, it just sounds cool.

David (37:29)

Sounds like a lame call of duty name.

John (37:31)

Oh, gotcha.

David (37:31)

But I feel like that's kind of what it is. Yeah. Or like, Mac and cheese. I don't know.

John (37:36)

Were you nervous before?

David (37:38)

Yeah, I was freaking out because, like, you said, like, nothing was going right.

John (37:41)

The power went off, like, five times.

David (37:43)

Literally right up until we actually brought people in everything. And we were plugging in fans because it was so hot in the room.

Natalie (37:50)

It was the hottest day of the year.

David (37:51)

It was the hottest day of the summer, and it was like 100 people in a bedroom. So it was like. It was really fucking hot. But luckily. Luckily it fucking happened. And after I got to look back at all the shots, I was like, okay, this is really fun, but. But you know when you have, like, a certain idea of, like, everything you want and, like, the little things don't happen?

John (38:10)

You like being in clubs?

David (38:12)

I would like performing at them.

John (38:13)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

David (38:15)

That. Dude, there's nothing better than performing at a club over being at the club.

John (38:19)

Sure, sure.

Natalie (38:19)

Like having a genuine purpose.

David (38:20)

Like having a purpose at the club.

John (38:22)

Yeah, I'd rather be the bartender than at the club. Yeah.

David (38:24)

Yes, 100%. And like, but. But even. Even being the bartender, I can't speak for all bartenders. I can't speak for any bartender, but I feel like, like, not. Yeah. Not only do you have a purpose, but I feel like that's like, fun, right? Like, I feel like you're still experiencing the actual fun part of the club.

John (38:40)

Yeah. Yeah.

David (38:41)

Without like the. The symptoms of, like, why am I here? I'm shitting my life away. Does your mom text you yet? She called me like 10 minutes ago, but. Really? Yeah, Faris was helping me with something. Should we get her on the pod? She texted. She texted saying, hi, Taylor, it's Jackie, Alex's mom. I just wanted. I just want you to thank David for doing the DJ thing for Al. I just watched the video. Alex looks so happy. Happy DJ rent free. Freaking hilarious. Love you all for helping Alex make his dreams come true. And supporting him means the world to me.

John (39:08)

Hart. Should I call her?

David (39:10)

Yeah, that's really.

John (39:11)

See, she's still crying.

David (39:12)

That's really sweet.

John (39:13)

Maybe that. Maybe. Sorry, go ahead.

David (39:15)

What?

Natalie (39:16)

Well, on that note, I just got a text while we were just podcasting too, from our friend that does all the. Like, he's the athletic director at ucla, and he was like, hey, can I hire your friend DJ rent free to do all of our, like, fan fest stuff for this upcoming, like, football season?

John (39:28)

What?

David (39:28)

Wow.

Natalie (39:29)

For all the kids.

David (39:29)

Fuck it.

John (39:30)

Yeah.

Natalie (39:30)

Yeah. That's great.

David (39:31)

Are you serious?

Natalie (39:32)

Yeah. Alex at the Rose bowl before our football games.

John (39:35)

Oh, my God.

David (39:38)

Big time now.

Natalie (39:40)

Oh, you're gonna, like, seriously have a full blown career.

John (39:42)

That's kind of cool to do videos like that, Dave.

David (39:45)

That'd be.

John (39:45)

You know what I mean? Like, rather than give someone a car, if you can, like, make somebody's dreams come true, that's fucking so powerful. You know what I mean?

David (39:53)

Yes. Yes. Sorry. Yes. So send John back to the lab. Well, no, that's. That's what the joke was on that. Know another bit we filmed for the last vlog? Was Jonah at a gas station.

John (40:04)

Yeah.

David (40:05)

Breaks my Tesla windshield.

John (40:06)

Yeah.

David (40:07)

So John is there, like, cleaning it up into a bucket.

John (40:10)

Yeah.

David (40:11)

Jonah points at John, he goes, what the fuck? We hired John to be an assistant. Like, we plucked him out of being a doctor and now he's cleaning up glass at the mobile. So. Yeah. That is really funny. It's really funny. Yeah. Well, not. Flowers don't blossom all year round. You don't call your mom or.

John (40:30)

Sure.

David (40:31)

Hello.

John (40:31)

Hi.

David (40:32)

We got we got your text.

Natalie (40:33)

I wanted to say to you. That was kick ass. That video that David posted of you with the dj, that was amazing.

David (40:43)

Yeah, Alex blew the house off. He killed it.

Natalie (40:45)

That was so fun. DJ Rent Free. I love it. Who came up with that name? Who do you think?

David (41:00)

But the name, it was either no rent or rent free. But. But he's gonna. He has time to change it, I think. He doesn't have any other.

John (41:08)

Yeah, I don't have anything.

David (41:09)

You got to come to his next show. The Next Bedroom show. It was amazing. It's like the most fun I've had, honestly, at any club in la.

Natalie (41:19)

Yeah, you look like you were truly enjoying yourself. That makes me so happy. I almost cried. I almost cried.

John (41:28)

I cried.

David (41:29)

I'm kind of disappointed you didn't. That's not the Newman without the Newman family way.

Natalie (41:35)

Yeah, I almost cried. But I was. It was amazing. It was so good.

David (41:41)

Thank you.

Natalie (41:42)

When did that. When did that all happen?

David (41:44)

Sunday.

John (41:45)

Two days ago.

Natalie (41:47)

Sunday. Oh, why don't you ever call me and tell me this, Dude?

David (41:50)

I was prepping. I was preparing.

John (41:54)

Tell your mom how you got later after.

Natalie (42:01)

Alex.

David (42:02)

Go. All right. Okay, well, that's. I. I'll call you back. We're gonna. We're gonna end the pod.

Natalie (42:08)

Okay? We'll wrap it up, kiddo.

David (42:09)

Okay. More than which more ways than one, if you know what I mean.

Natalie (42:18)

No Newman babies.

David (42:19)

No Newman babies. Okay.

Natalie (42:20)

Break the chain out.

David (42:22)

Alex.

John (42:22)

No more babies.

David (42:23)

Oh, yeah. We have a family history. Not wrapping it up. Alex's sister has 19 kids.

Natalie (42:31)

No more babies out of wedlock.

David (42:33)

All right, guys? That's all the time we have. All right, well, go check out DJ Rent Free. DM him if you need him for any music or anything like that. Go check out Natalie's clothes.

John (42:44)

Pickle.

David (42:45)

Go check out the new vlog. Pickle.

Natalie (42:47)

My pickle is where I rent the fucking clothes. We talk about this every day.

John (42:49)

I told you this so many times.

David (42:52)

My bad. Whatever. All my used underwear. Go check it out on Alice. Pickle. I hope she's washed it. Go check on Jason's podcast. All good things. Anybody else want to say something? Do you want to shout out your kids?

John (43:03)

Brian.

David (43:04)

No more time.

John (43:05)

Terry. Hi.

David (43:06)

Brian and Terry.

John (43:07)

Yeah, I forgot their name.

David (43:09)

You changed Charlie's name to Terry?