How to Get a Billionaires Attention

Summary

Podcast Summary: VIEWS with David Dobrik & Jason Nash

Episode: How to Get a Billionaire's Attention

Date: August 28, 2025

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Overview

In this episode, David Dobrik and Jason Nash are joined by Natalie (frequent collaborator) in a lively, freewheeling conversation covering behind-the-scenes anecdotes, pop-culture tidbits, memories from SNL, quirky social experiments, and plenty of playful banter. The trio explores everything from bizarre wedding encounters and strategies for getting the attention of billionaires, to their personal quirks and memories of industry icon Norm MacDonald. The episode delivers plenty of laughs, a few meaningful moments, and classic “VIEWS” chaos, as always.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Improv, Roles, and Podcast Power Dynamics

• David proposes a role reversal game: David suggests he’ll act as a guest, giving Jason “control” of the show—a playful take that quickly descends into chaos and meta-joking about their typical dynamic.
  • “I just want to... paint the picture.” (David, 01:56)
• Natalie teases David: Natalie jokes about being relegated to “intern” status and the group riffs on the traditional talk show format. The segment highlights their chemistry and tendency to break podcast conventions.

2. The Perks and Absurdity of Modern Promotion

• David recounts a casual news interview: He describes promoting their chip brand (“Wavers”) via a Zoom call to a Las Vegas news station, marveling at the informality and speed enabled by technology.
  • “It was so funny how casual it was… technology makes [promotion] so quick now.” (David, 04:42)
• Discussion of viral gifting trends:
  • David references a TikTok phenomenon about sending wedding invites to billionaires to receive surprise gifts, sparking debate about how people would even find a billionaire’s address.
    • “If you ever want, like, a free gift… send a wedding invite to a billionaire and their assistant will usually send you, like, flowers or something.” (David, 06:51)
    • “Where do you get a billionaire’s address? On LinkedIn?” (Jason, 07:16)

3. Workplace Culture & Hiring

• Comedic exploration of “hotness” in hiring:
  • The trio laughs about whether they'd ever reject candidates “for being too hot,” quickly joking that most who apply are not “wasting time being pretty.”
    • “Most people that are wasting time pretty ugly.” (Natalie, 08:26)
    • “The ones coming through here do not want to work here.” (Jason, 08:29)
• **A playful roast of their own team members and the difficulty of “insensitive” jokes.”

4. Wedding Stories & Social Strategy

• Natalie shares a wedding encounter:
  • Natalie attended Jason’s former assistant Carly’s wedding, running into “the cool people” from high school, and describes a persistent (and ultimately dishonest) admirer who turned out to be a fan.
    • “He just, he was just lying the whole time… there were like multiple conversations we had throughout the night where he just lied about everything.” (Natalie, 13:00)
• The peculiar vibe of weddings:
  • David and Natalie struggle to articulate what makes weddings “so weird…but not in a bad way,” riffing awkwardly on the topic.
    • “Weddings are so interesting, aren’t they?... everyone’s on their best behavior.” (David, 14:04)
  • Memorable moment: David judges: “That was the worst segment of the podcast I’ve ever heard.” (David, 14:34)

5. David’s Vlog Idea: The Plane Experiment

• David’s viral video pitch:
  • He describes wanting to rent a 747 and see how quickly an informed group could evacuate, referencing how every passenger thinks they could improve aircraft deplaning times.
    • “If everyone was me, we’d get off this plane in record time… I’d love to rent a 747 and try to break the record.” (David, 17:42)
  • They discuss logistics, referencing Nathan Fielder’s “The Rehearsal,” and the high costs of pulling off big production stunts.

6. Memory Lapses with Movies

• David laments his terrible memory for movies:
  • Despite repeated viewings, he recalls almost nothing about the plot details—even for his favorites like “About Time” and “Transformers.”
    • “I have no fucking clue what happens in that movie… My memory is so bad. All I know is that I like it.” (David, 19:55)
    • “I don’t know what happens in Iron Man.” (David, 20:21)
• Jason relates:
  • “Welcome to being old… I watch Curb Your Enthusiasm over and over and I’m surprised I don’t remember some of the scenes.” (Jason, 21:10)

7. Social Skills: Remembering Names

• Debate on name recall:
  • They complain about their struggles to remember names, jokingly argue it's a disorder, and discuss mnemonic tricks.
    • “Don’t make me feel bad. I have short term memory.” (David, 22:28)
    • “It’s a skill. You have to work at it.” (Jason, 22:29)
• **Natalie exposes David when he forgets people at events, always ready to help him discreetly.

8. Travel, Hostels, and Humble Accommodations

• Plans for a trip to Oktoberfest spotlight a group split: Zane wants to save money by slumming it, Natalie’s not as keen, and David jokes he would rather sleep on the street than do hostels with Natalie’s mom.
  • “I don’t think I could do it. I don’t care if it’s pouring rain, I’m sleeping on the curb.” (David, 28:43)
  • Memorable moment: Extended roast of Natalie’s mom, “Horny Jen,” as David and Natalie joke about her social powers in hostel situations, and how David “targets” her for jokes only because she never listens to the podcast.
    • “There’s nothing more talkative than horny Jen…that’s when your ears will start to bleed.” (David, 29:13)

9. The Jen/Natalie/David Parental Dynamic

• Playful comparison of Natalie’s traits to her mom and David’s quirks to his dad (e.g., wearing sandals, bike rides), leading to comedic, mock-serious family therapy.

10. Feet Jokes and Odd Flexes

• Brief, gleeful competition over who in the group has the “best feet,” leading to trash talk about FeetFinder and their “prehistoric basic” toes.
  • “God damn, I’m jealous of your feet.” (Jason, 35:12)

11. Smoking, Norm MacDonald, and SNL Stories

• Jason reminisces about working for Norm MacDonald:
  • Moving, funny, and bleak, Jason shares stories about being Norm’s assistant—buying him Canadian cigarettes, watching him smoke “like a fiend,” and humorous anecdotes about his time at SNL.
  • Tragic twist: Reveals Norm died of lung cancer, and Jason jokes darkly about his “role” in Norm’s demise.
    • “Your favorite memory is killing him?” (David, 37:23)
    • “He used to fucking make me go down to a rare tobacco shop in Manhattan that only sold Canadian cigarettes…” (Jason, 37:26)
• SNL behind-the-scenes:
  • A detailed look at production, writing sessions, and Jason’s three jokes that made it to Weekend Update.
    • “And that was when the O.J. trial was going on. So his whole update was about O.J.—that’s why he eventually got fired.” (Jason, 43:47)
• Meta moment: Natalie’s surprisingly strong Norm MacDonald impression cracks up the group.

12. Wrapping Up (with a Bit of Chaos)

• David and Jason bicker about who’s the “guest,” poke fun at their own promotional plugs (“Go buy Waivers at your local... store. Which one? Figure it out.”) and tease fans about which episode will next feature a yawn or an apple-eating moment.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Meta Comedy:
  • “That was the worst segment of the podcast I’ve ever heard.” (David, 14:34)
• On Sending Gifts to Billionaires:
  • “If you ever want, like, a free gift… send a wedding invite to a billionaire and their assistant will usually send you, like, flowers or something.” (David, 06:51)
• Dark Humor:
  • “Your favorite memory is killing him?” (David, about Norm MacDonald, 37:23)
• Natalie’s skills:
  • “You are really good at that [remembering names]…” (David, 22:44)
• Travel Philosophy:
  • “The point isn’t to be in a nice hotel… the best time we had in South Africa was we were in tents.” (David, 27:53)
• On Parent Resemblance:
  • “I do see more and more qualities in Natalie from her mother.” (David, 45:51)
• Feet Flex:
  • “If you had to look up feet for a school project, you’d find mine and be like, these look too fake because they’re so perfect.” (David, 35:06)

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Notable Timestamps

• 01:08 – David suggests the podcast role reversal
• 06:51 – Trend about sending wedding invites to billionaires
• 13:00 – Natalie’s “fan” encounter at a wedding
• 17:42 – David pitches his plane evacuation vlog idea
• 19:55 – David bemoans his poor movie memory
• 28:13 – Hostels, travel stories, and the rise of “Horny Jen”
• 37:23 – Jason jokes about his “role” in Norm MacDonald’s death
• 43:47 – SNL Weekend Update/O.J. Simpson saga
• 45:04 – Natalie’s Norm MacDonald impression

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Tone & Style

The episode is signature “VIEWS”: fast-talking, irreverent, frequently self-deprecating, and always teetering on the edge between sincere and parody. David's bursty energy, Jason’s deadpan and stories, and Natalie’s rolled-eyes commentary generate both chaos and comedic timing.

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For the Listener

This episode offers:

• A candid look at fame and social media marketing in 2025
• Behind-the-curtain stories of working in entertainment and at SNL
• A masterclass in podcast chemistry and improv
• Quirky life advice, shameless plugs, and plenty of friendly jabs

No billionaires or Norm MacDonald fans were harmed in the making of this summary.

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Transcript

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[A]

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. I was thinking, because we just recorded the last one for Tuesday.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was thinking to myself, man, do I talk a lot? So I had this idea today. Your. This is just Jason Nash's View Spotlight. Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And Natalie is your co host.

[B]

Oh, great.

[C]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

And I am just a guest.

[B]

You just chilling?

[A]

No.

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Thank God.

[C]

Because you never shut the fuck up.

[A]

And. Yeah. And this time, I mean, like, I'll answer when I'm spoken to.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I don't want to step on the host toast.

[B]

Okay. Amazing.

[A]

So I'm gonna pretend I'm Shawn Mendes and this is my first time in London.

[B]

Shawn, thank you for being here.

[A]

No, no, you can refer to me as David.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

But like, imagine this is my first time in the uk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm a little uneasy. I don't know what the show's about, so I'm just going to feel it out.

[B]

This is like some improv game. What is going on?

[A]

I just want to. I want to paint the picture.

[B]

Who are you, man?

[A]

I'm David.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is what the vibe is.

[C]

It's our show.

[B]

And he's got to be getting frustrated.

[A]

Giving up control of the show.

[B]

Listen, you fucking moron, this is my show.

[A]

So. So, yeah, so I'm just like. I don't know what to expect. I've never seen the show.

[B]

Are you David Dobrik?

[A]

Yeah, I'm David. But my publicist told me to come on the show and shoot the shit with you guys. So that's why I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going wait for you. Guys to go.

[B]

And we're in London.

[A]

No, just painting the picture. You have to do a British Cheerio, everyone.

[B]

Welcome back to 97.5 here in Westchester.

[A]

No, it's a score. Just go regular.

[B]

All right, Go, go.

[A]

Hit me.

[C]

This feels a little bit like it's 10 o' clock at night and day, which is a little tired and he doesn't want to put any energy into it.

[A]

Yeah, I'm just acting out.

[B]

I like this idea because I've been wanting to shake it up around here.

[A]

Yeah, go ahead. Shake it up. Shake it up.

[B]

Well. Oh, go ahead. My co host.

[C]

My only thing is that I have two stories for today, but they only work if we're, like, friends. Are we still friends?

[A]

You understand? Yeah.

[B]

Guys don't want me in with her.

[A]

You're reading.

[B]

I get it.

[C]

Okay, well, are you a celebrity guest or are you like my homie from hometown?

[A]

Both. We went our separate ways, but we.

[C]

Together are rekindling on this.

[A]

I blew up. I became a massive success. Make millions of dollars.

[C]

What the fuck am I?

[A]

You're. You're the intern. Because one of the real co hosts got sick and they needed. They need a woman. Woman voice to fill in the void.

[B]

This feels like a large edit for me already.

[C]

No, no, it's good.

[B]

Well, welcome back to the Views podcast. What's up? I'm Jason and this is Natalie. Natalie.

[A]

You guys gotta change your name.

[B]

And we are back. Thank God. You guys are so wonderful. Thank you for listening. Today on the show we have a really, really great guy. A guy that. And you make videos. Is that what you do?

[A]

YouTube?

[B]

You do YouTube?

[C]

Okay.

[A]

You know, this reminds me of like being on like, Good Morning America for the first time.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like one of those shows like, at the. Like the dawn of. Or is it the dawn. The dawn of YouTube.

[B]

Right. This next guy.

[A]

Those rights were really good too. That felt like I was on an actual talk show.

[B]

Yeah. This next guy's in millions of homes, but he's not on tv. He's on something a little bit different. He's on the Internet and he's right there. You don't know who he is.

[A]

Ask your kids. Cause I'm sure they know David. Yeah, that is how it is. I did the news. I. I did the. Sorry to. I know this is your guys show.

[C]

Are we over with the. It's over.

[A]

No, I did the. We were doing. We're doing promo for our waivers for our chip brand.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And I did the. The, like Las Vegas news show. But it Was on the computer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it was a Zoom call calling into the news show, and it was straight to live. Oh. Which was really crazy. Cause, like. Like Michael was helping us with, like, our house or whatever. He was like. He was talking to us, and I was like, hold on, give me a second. And we were really running really late, and I popped up the laptop real quick and I did the. The interview on Zoom. But it was, like, so funny how casual it was. And then I closed the laptop and then we went back to talk to Michael. Michael was like, were you guys just on the news? But it was really funny how, like, casual and, like, quick technology makes.

[B]

What did they say?

[A]

They just had, like, a bunch. So we were doing it for waivers. Yeah, for the chips. And they just had a. He had a bunch of chips there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And there's an id Sugar location in Las Vegas that has, like, a big wall of the chips.

[A]

Yeah. But it's crazy cuz, like, you're on the news, so you know it's live and you know how quick they are, right? Like, they don't waste a second. So, like, the second he's done talking, I'm like, I. I'm. I'm spitting things faster than my brain can think of things. I'm just, like, saying words out into the universe.

[B]

It's over before it starts. Yeah.

[A]

So quick.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, David, you're going on in three, two, and.

[C]

Yeah, well, literally, they were texting. They're like, where's David? Where's David?

[A]

And then it was actually perfect. Like, I don't know if. If he cut away, cuz. Cuz I told him to, or if it was just perfect timing, but towards the end, I was just like, you should cut to commercial break to eat the rest of the waivers. And he goes right on. And then he. And then he cuts and he cuts to.

[B]

The next. Guys were in flow state. Yeah, we were literally.

[A]

We were sharing the same brain. It was like, right on. David, the weather today.

[B]

You and Ted McGinty out in Las Vegas.

[A]

What were you gonna say now? What happened?

[C]

Well, I went to a wedding this weekend for Jason's ex assistant, Carly, and my.

[A]

Did you know that?

[B]

Did she get my gift?

[C]

Are you serious?

[B]

No.

[C]

Carly would be floored. No, no.

[B]

Hi, Carly.

[A]

Now you gotta send her something.

[B]

No, now I gotta send her something.

[C]

You just screwed yourself.

[A]

Carly's ex assistant Natalie's gifts.

[C]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

Yeah, we get. We get a bunch of. So people just send letters to the house, like, hey, I'm getting married. And we send everyone just $10,000.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

No, but because I got married a year and a half ago now.

[A]

Have you seen that TikTok? Like, it's not a trend, but, like, people on TikTok have been like, if you ever want, like, a free gift. Yeah, Send something to a billionaire. Send a wedding invite to a billionaire and their assistant will usually send you, like, flowers or something, saying, sorry, they can't make it. And you have to. You have to pick billionaires that, like, aren't in the limelight, because then the billionaire will be like, where did I meet this person? I don't know. Set them flowers.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Ye.

[A]

Yeah. You can't, like, send them to Bezos or Elon.

[B]

But, like, where do you get a billionaire's address on LinkedIn?

[A]

I don't fucking know.

[C]

LinkedIn.

[B]

You think people are just giving out.

[C]

Their address on LinkedIn?

[B]

I've never been on LinkedIn.

[A]

Isn't that where you put your. Isn't that like. I don't know, that's like the white pages.

[C]

Hey, I work at David Dobrik.

[A]

That's Instagram.

[B]

When's the last time you were on LinkedIn? Never. Right?

[A]

Never.

[B]

Never, never.

[A]

I don't know if it's an app or what. I know it's a website, but is it also an app?

[C]

Yes, it's also an app.

[A]

Okay. So, yeah, I've never.

[B]

What do they do on there?

[A]

You connect with people that are looking for jobs. And I know a lot of things. I know about Slack.

[C]

Oh, Slack.

[B]

Slack I've heard of, but I don't know what it is.

[A]

It's where people. But I think it's just a group chat for work. Is that like, if you don't want to give your number to your co workers? Use Slack.

[C]

It's like use. It's like using, like, AOL Instant Messenger. So it's like all. Or like all your work stuff is not on your cell phone, it's in your Slack app.

[A]

Are you allowed to flirt with your co workers on there?

[C]

Yeah, but it's in the slack. You can't. You can't be slacking off in the slack.

[A]

Wait, is that actually the thing?

[C]

No, I just made that up.

[A]

Wait, have you guys ever Slack calls you. That was genius.

[C]

That was amazing.

[B]

Have you ever had someone come in here and, like, want a job here? You interviewed somebody and Natalie, like, dictated that she was too hot.

[C]

Too hot?

[B]

Like, David wouldn't be able to control. Control himself.

[C]

Too hot. No, I mean, most people that are wasting time pretty Ugly.

[B]

The ones coming through here do not.

[C]

Want to work here.

[A]

Oh, excuse me.

[C]

They're probably busy doing Milk and Taylor.

[A]

That's literally. That's so rud. Okay, sorry. We have two people that work here. That is insane.

[B]

Who are both beautiful, by the way. And I can't believe Natalie.

[A]

They're really pretty girls.

[B]

And John Castro, he's no looker.

[C]

Oh, my God. Damn.

[A]

That's crazy. We obviously have some Brooke and Taylor, the ugly that we hired.

[C]

Obviously not true.

[A]

Okay, I know.

[B]

They're. They're great.

[A]

She's trying to make a joke.

[B]

You know what? I'm married now. This just came up.

[A]

Extremely rude.

[C]

Okay, well, first of all, I wasn't even making a joke. I was being.

[A]

It's not. It's just desensitive. What's the word?

[B]

Desensitive.

[A]

Insensitive.

[C]

Yeah, insensitive.

[A]

It's just disgusting.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I just expected more.

[C]

Whatever. Can we go back to the wedding?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I want to hear about it. I love weddings.

[C]

Me, too.

[B]

I never get invited, but I love them.

[C]

Yeah. And it was funny. Cause it was basically like a high school reunion. Like, she. Her and her parents are still very much involved in the community in Vernon Hills. And so I saw, like, all of my hometown. Not the David group, but, like, my friends that I actually.

[B]

The cool people.

[A]

There we go. It's the popular kids.

[C]

But it was really good.

[A]

Once again, David wasn't stupid.

[C]

But it's funny. One of our friends, Mike, you read his. I think you read his message on the podcast where he was like, mariella. Mike Mariella. Yeah.

[A]

This is his third podcast. Shout out every episode.

[B]

I even know Mike Marielle at this point.

[A]

What's up, Michael?

[B]

So many times.

[C]

Well, it was so funny. He was like. He asked me about how the podcast. Podcast was going, and I was like, oh, it's great. And I was like, oh, we just talked about you on the last pod. And he was like, what? He didn't know because he hadn't listened to the new episode. And I was like, yeah, David read your text message. And he was like, what? He read my text message? I don't even think he texted me back. Oh, text him back right now.

[A]

I got. Because I got it while we were on air.

[B]

Yeah, that's low, bro.

[C]

That was really funny.

[B]

You used him for content and you didn't respond. That is fucking bad form, brother.

[C]

It was really funny.

[B]

Really bad.

[A]

Let me call him back, get him on the horn.

[B]

Why don't we make him a co host?

[A]

Oh, it's 12:30. There. That is kind of fucked up. Let me see if I responded. No, I didn't. We were podcasting at the exact moment it came through.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Damn.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Sorry, Mike. What else happened?

[C]

Well, anyway, so then we were at the wedding, and.

[A]

Was it fun? Did I miss out?

[C]

It was incredible.

[B]

Why were you not invited?

[C]

It was a small. Small. I don't know. I'm just gonna make up my excuse. It was a small wedding.

[A]

Yeah, it looked pretty big. Natalie Hall.

[C]

No, no, it is actually genuinely just a small.

[B]

Like, how many people?

[C]

Like, 100 people.

[B]

That's small.

[C]

Yeah, but it was on the 100 small. No, that's.

[B]

How's the food?

[C]

Food was great. It was even.

[A]

Oh, my God. To be honest.

[C]

You just wanted to come to dance.

[A]

How does this dance. I go. I revert to, like, high school days. Are you sure you can't bring me along to this one?

[C]

That was our conversations every weekend.

[A]

Like, are you sure I'm not coming?

[C]

Yes, David. They told me that.

[A]

And I can't bring Alex, John and Mike.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Okay. For sure. But FaceTime me. If it's really good, maybe I'll show up.

[C]

Okay. Okay. Maybe you pick me up later.

[A]

Yeah, I'll pick you up.

[B]

Did you have any. Do you have any, like, guys near?

[C]

So that's what I was gonna get at. So. So there was this guy that came up to me at the beginning of the wedding. He, like, walked past me and was, like. It was obvious that he was, like, trying to, you know, get my attention.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Walked past me and then circled back and then came up to you and was like, you're so beautiful. I just had to say something, blah, blah, blah.

[A]

You know, at the wedding.

[C]

At the wedding, like, very beginning of the wedding.

[A]

Did you get some.

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

At the beginning is a bold move.

[C]

Yeah. Like, this was like, okay, whatever. And so he comes up to me, and all my friends are, like. Are watching this conversation unfold. Like, what is this guy saying? And the wedding photographer walks by at that same time and is like, photo of you, too. Whatever. Snaps a photo of the both of us, which was really funny timing. And then he keeps coming out to me and, like, talking to me. Dancing with whatever throughout the night. And he asks me my age. And I was like, oh, I'm 28. And he was like, okay, cool. I'm 25. And I was like, okay, you're a little young. He's like, if you're into younger guys, like, I'm 20. Made a joke about it. And then at the very end of the night, because I was busy dancing with my friends. Whatever. At the very end of the night, he comes up and he was like, okay, I gotta be real with you. I'm just a really big fan. I'm only 21, blah, blah, blah. And I was like this little. And his, his dad had come up to me during the wedding.

[A]

Wait, why is that a big deal? He lied to you. He doesn't think you're pretty.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

He just, he was just lying the whole time. Like, everything that he was saying was a lie.

[B]

He's a fan. Oh.

[C]

It was more than just the age. It was like there was like multiple conversations we had throughout the night where.

[A]

He just lied about everything o asking you questions. Did you say that? And I completely spaced out.

[C]

Yeah, he came up to me multiple times. Like, had multiple conversations.

[A]

He was like, asking you random things that, like, weren't that he should have already known.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Like he definitely fully already knew the answer to every question.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

He asked me, like, where am I from? What do I do? How.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's funny.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

At least he admit it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Which was funny. But it was funny because, like, I don't know, was he, was he good looking? Yeah, he was cute. He was the groom's cousin, I think.

[A]

But so if you got to see him again, Are you going to have sex with this man?

[C]

No, obviously not.

[A]

Why are you shaking your head?

[C]

Yes, like, maybe I'll think again about it.

[A]

Wow. This is incredible.

[C]

Yeah, but it was funny because it was. It started out as like, oh, like everybody comes to a wedding and like, everybody's like in the lovey, romantic mood, I feel like.

[A]

And then, yeah, weddings are. Weddings are so interesting, aren't they? It's like, it's like such a fucking.

[C]

Weddings are so weird to me.

[A]

It's so weird. It's like, it's. It's not like in a bad way. I just, I can't put my finger on it is a very, very, like, distinct feeling you have at a wedding. No, like, it's like it's not. It's not like, not like anything else. Like just like. And it's not even that love is in the air. It's like, it's like everyone's kind of like on their best behavior and everyone. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. It's so interesting.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know either, but that.

[A]

Was the worst segment of the podcast.

[C]

I've ever heard.

[A]

That's really funny. Six years.

[B]

The thing about weddings is like, I can't put my finger on it.

[A]

It's really funny.

[B]

It's really. You were like looking for Natalie for help and she just went, I don't get it either.

[A]

Oh fuck.

[B]

That was no help either.

[A]

This is like why I'm so happy we don't have this on video. Cause that would get clipped and then the top comment would be they need to make podcast equipment more expensive.

[C]

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[C]

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[B]

Let's, let's, let's tackle it. What is it about a wedding?

[A]

Well, I just, I don't even think the banquet hall. I think, yeah, I think it's the banquet hall and I think it's the circular tables and I think it's the, the grouping people that's tough.

[B]

That's right. You get a bad table, you're fud.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like, and you have notes. You have, you've given up your control that for that day. For that day. Like.

[B]

Yep. It's not about you.

[A]

It's not about you. And you can't sit where you want and you have to, you have to follow all the guidelines of that day. No matter what your class is, how much money you make.

[B]

Like can't talk during the ceremony.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I think, I think that's what everybody's, everybody's like, same playing ground and the kings and the queens of the bride and the groom.

[B]

Yeah, it's nice.

[A]

And then the old kings and the queens are, like, the parents of the bride and groom, and you have to, like, bow down. It's a royal family, but it's very strange. I don't think I've ever felt anything like that.

[B]

I like it a lot more going with a wife than going single.

[A]

Oh, that's so fun.

[B]

I didn't like going single to a.

[A]

Wife, but, like, even going. Did you ever, like, crash a wedding or is that not a thing? That's just, like, a movie.

[B]

I never did, but do you have.

[A]

Friends that do that or.

[B]

No, no, Dave, that's a movie with Vince Vaughn.

[A]

No one will say, I know. Okay, for sure.

[C]

People don't do that.

[A]

What are you talking about? I had a. I had an idea.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We should go around the room.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And who has. We should guess who has the biggest cocktail.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

No, that wasn't it. But I wanted to see if you guys were perverts. I actually just wanted to pitch a vlog idea that I had that I'm really excited about. I don't know if it's possible to get done, so I'm gonna put it out into the ether, and if it happens, it happens. If someone steals it, whatever, who cares?

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Actually, please don't steal this one, because I want to see this one through. It's super stupid. Super simple. Not creative. Just. I've always thought, like, you know when you're sitting on an airplane, like, a commercial jet, and you're like, damn, if, like, everybody was me, we get off this plane in, like, record time. Like, if everybody. If I could just control everybody's body, we'd fly off this bitch. So I would just love to, like, rent out a 747 at a terminal and have everyone on board with the fact that we're trying to break a record and seeing how fast we can get off the plane, I think that'd be really cool. And you'll. You, like, ask Chatgpt what the average time is, and you see how much you can crush it by. I just think it'd be. I think it'd be so fun. Everyone's in their seats, really funny, and the pilot makes an announcement, and then everyone's grabbing their bags and running out. I just don't know how to do it because, like, you need it. You could do that because you need a public plane.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, you can get a private plane at a. You can get a 747 at a private airport.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Did you watch the rehearsal with Nathan Fielder?

[A]

No.

[B]

It's all about his. Is all about airplanes and stuff. Oh, so he got the entire season. Yeah. So his whole thing is he was going to fly a 747.

[A]

The thing that sucks is, like, extras. You'd have to pay. It's probably a $20,000 bit. Just an extra.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's really expensive.

[C]

I'd be curious even just boarding a plane, you know, Like, I always think you. You always think, like.

[A]

Like that's what takes a lot of videos on that. And there actually really isn't a method.

[C]

Back to front is not faster.

[A]

Back to front. I don't remember actually, the answer. I have no intel, even though I just like, flex that I watch this video. Do you ever do that? Do you ever, like, say, like, I watch them. I watched a movie on that, but I have no idea what it was about because that just happened. I fully watched a 15 minute video on the best way to board an airplane where this guy walks you through it. I remember jack shit. I also, like, have seen so many movies.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And John and Al will be like, is it good? And I'll be like, yeah, it's all right. And I'm making. I'm making complete shit up. Like, I saw the movie eight years ago. I don't fucking remember.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I don't remember. Like, I don't remember what had happened. Like, if you showed me the movie Eagle Eye right now with Mark Wahlberg. No Eagle Eye. Fuck. I don't even know the actor. Tom Cruise, Shia LaBeouf.

[B]

Oh, oh, right.

[A]

You know that movie Eagle Eye.

[C]

That's kind of niche.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Transformers.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

The first one. I fucking love it. It's so good. Maybe seen it nine times. I have no fucking clue what happens in that movie. No fucking.

[B]

Well, those kind of movies. Yeah, they're a little.

[A]

My memory is so bad. All I know is that I like it. I don't know when Megatron shows up. I don't know Optimus shows up. I don't know. Like, I don't know what scene comes next. But the amount of times I've seen it and the amount of times, like, it's a even. This is gonna sound fucked up. Jay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm embarrassed to say this. I don't know what happens in Iron Man.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I genuinely don't. I just watched the third one and I was like, nice. I watched it and I think this goes back to, you know, how I always go back To. I made these three wishes on these stars.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, like one of my side witches. This wasn't made on any of the stars. So this wasn't like a. Like a pillar in my wish list. But, like. Like every kid, I always wished I could. Cause I was such a big movie guy growing up. And I always wish I was like. I just wish I could forget all these great movies I've seen so you.

[B]

Could see them again for the first time. Yeah, so I could see.

[A]

I don't know if it's with my age or what's happening, but I'm fully there where I can just. I can watch a movie and six months later have no fucking clue what happened.

[B]

Oh, bro. Welcome to. Welcome to being old.

[A]

Really?

[B]

That's exactly what I do. I watch Curb youb Enthusiasm over and over again and I'm surprised that I don't remember some of the scenes.

[A]

It's so weird. I don't know what's going on.

[B]

I mean, the Departed is my favorite movie and I don't necessarily remember at all.

[A]

No, About Time is my favorite movie and I don't necessarily. I know it happens. Like, I know the plot, I know. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't know. It's scene by scene yet. Even though I've seen it maybe 20 times. And that's, like. That feels, like, really weird to me. I literally feel like a fucking dog.

[B]

Like, why would you. Why would you remember every scene?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Remember the light.

[A]

Because I've seen it so much and it's my favorite. Like, I feel like a cat chasing a laser. Like. Like, I should know the outcome and I can't catch the laser. It's a light. But, like, I'm just. Like, I'm fucking here. I am watching it again. I know I like it. I know I like doing this. But, like, why? I don't know. That's what I'm dealing with.

[B]

We should have someone look that up.

[A]

That's kind of what I'm going through, but I think it's fine. That brings me to, like, when I don't remember people's names when I meet them. I fucking hate that. I hate people give you a hard time for that.

[B]

I'm. Sometimes I'm really good at that, and sometimes I'm really bad.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Like, sometimes I have people that really hurt their feelings because I go, nice to meet you. They're like, you've met me five times. But I. But I am pretty good at it.

[A]

But also, can we, like, chalk that up as, like, a disorder. Like, that's like, don't make me feel bad. I have.

[B]

It's not a disorder.

[A]

Short term memory.

[B]

No, it's a skill. You have to. You have to work at it. Like, when you meet. When you meet somebody named Natalie, you gotta be like, natalie. That's easy. Nerdy Natalie. Or you, like, put some word with it or, you know, Jason, Big fat Jason.

[C]

You know, I'm pretty good at that stuff. I don't really like.

[A]

Yeah, Natalie, you are really good at that.

[C]

Yeah, I remember, like, everybody's face. At least their face. Like, I can recognize. Like, if we're like, in a group somewhere, like, I'll be like, oh, we know that person. Even if I don't remember their name.

[A]

It'S really fun to be, like, at, like, a public event. Like, someone comes up to us and, like, Natalie will immediately know that I have no idea who the person is. That's my favorite part. And then sometimes I'll be like, oh, she thinks I don't know this person. And then I'll, like, really dumb it down. I'll be like, I have no fucking idea who that is. Even though I kind of know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's even more fun than not knowing.

[B]

Do you let him hang?

[A]

She's pissing Natalie off.

[B]

Do you let him hang?

[C]

No, no, no, I help. I'll try to, like, say their name. I'll be like, hi, Barbara. You know, just to make sure. It's like, it's out there.

[B]

David still doesn't get it. Barbara.

[C]

Who the fuck is Barbara?

[B]

What is your.

[A]

I don't know. That's tough. But it is.

[B]

We had a. We had a sound guy this weekend, and I called him Nick all day, and I felt so bad. And it was his birthday and it was awful.

[A]

Oh, we did that to one of our friends. Like, significant others.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you remember this? I don't want to say who it was, but one of our friends had a significant other.

[B]

I remember this.

[A]

And we called her all day, like, a different name. And then we got home and we, like, checked a flight log and we were like, what? This person was on the flight with us.

[C]

Oh, my God. I remember getting, like, several tags from all of you guys, like, what the fuck is this girl's name?

[A]

And we, like, all day, we were like, calling her Amy. And it was like her name was like, Sandra. Like, it was completely different.

[B]

I think I fucked that up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I. You know how? Because I didn't know her name. So I went to Our itinerary. And I grabbed her name off the itinerary, but that's not the name she goes by. That's just her legal name.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's what happened.

[C]

Which is fine.

[A]

Maybe something like that. I'm not sure. But, yeah, you kind of can get away with it, which is nice. But she didn't correct any of us, which was kind of, like, the most frustrating part about all of it.

[B]

You can't get away with it. When you're older, you can get all kinds of stuff.

[A]

I'm going to Washington, D.C. tomorrow.

[B]

Hell, yeah. For what?

[A]

Just for fun.

[B]

Oh, man. Gonna go walk around the Capitol.

[A]

Yeah. I've always just wanted.

[B]

Renew your passport.

[A]

No. Why are we going?

[C]

Costco headquarters is there, and we have a meeting with Costco for waivers. And the waivers plant is out there, too.

[A]

Yeah. So we're gonna see. He's gonna tour it or the chips aren't made.

[B]

That's fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. It's actually, I think, an improvement.

[A]

I really hope people try the chips.

[B]

Okay, you walk into Costco, you're in the meeting tomorrow. Let's prep you for it. What are you gonna be like? What are you gonna. What kind of Dave character are you gonna choose? You gonna be fun Dave? You're gonna be serious Dave?

[C]

Well, we got a nice big sprinter van so that sleepy Dave can nap on the way to the meeting. So he's the best version of Dave.

[A]

That's not why you got it.

[C]

Yes, it is.

[A]

Also, I'm not good. If you. Really genuine. That's definitely a you move. That's like, you got that for yourself.

[C]

Okay, great. I will take the couch. Well, I'll sleep on.

[A]

See, that's the problem. That's because I know that's what you're trying to go for.

[C]

What?

[A]

But, like, if you knew, like, I like just driving, like, an hour and a half. It's like the perfect drive. Like, I want to be like, I'm going to wake up in a nap. And then we're in the Costco parking lot. We have to meet these execs. I'm going to throw a fit. I'm going to be like, put me back in the couch.

[B]

What are those. What are those meetings like?

[C]

Think about that.

[A]

Yeah. Wait, why you. It's not like we're driving far. We're driving an hour and a half. That's perfect time for me to fall asleep.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Well, we're driving a little further so.

[B]

That I'm not going.

[A]

Have you been lying to me? Of course how far away is it you mother.

[C]

I lied to you about everything, brother.

[A]

How far away is it you?

[C]

We're getting on that flight tomorrow whether you like it or not.

[A]

You guys offer that.

[B]

You guys offer the worst. Like they were. You guys were trying to get me to go to this. And I'm so glad I'm not going.

[A]

All expense paid.

[C]

Yes. What are you talking about?

[A]

All exp to D expenses.

[B]

A two hour drive in the fucking sprinter van.

[A]

I know now he said it's only 20 minutes.

[B]

And that's the stuff that you guys leave out for sure. You know, you'd be like, come on, Jay, free trip.

[A]

And I'm like, zane had a good point the other day, which I didn't know Zayn was like this, but it was pretty awesome. Zane was like, we're looking at going to Oktoberfest. And Zayn was just like, it's all the hotels are really expensive.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, I don't know what it. I mean, Oktoberfest is Oktoberfest, but like, the Mandarin is probably like, what, 2800 a night?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

For like a 3, 400 square foot room. Like, it's insanity. Wow. I don't think I've ever yawned on the podcast.

[B]

No, it's the first.

[A]

That was kind of crazy.

[B]

That's a good yawn. That was like a fucking nice yawn. You're gonna sleep good tonight. Yeah, that was. That was sick. Yeah.

[A]

Guys, someone keep track. Have this be day one and see how many days I can go until my next yawn. I'm not gonna try to do it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And if we keep this podcast up, like four or five years. Episodes.

[B]

Or days.

[A]

Episode. Episodes.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Or days. Days. Days.

[B]

Okay. Days.

[A]

Okay. Like, I just. I want to see. I want to see like an Instagram DM in, like four years saying, you just yawn.

[B]

My favorite thing is when you eat an apple.

[A]

I've only done that once.

[C]

Twice.

[A]

Okay. Anyway, the point Zane made was that he was just like, we shouldn't. We should get like the crappiest place because it's just a lot more fun. That's kind of.

[B]

That's fine.

[C]

Like, the point isn't to be in a nice hotel and staying in the room, you know? Like.

[A]

No. Like the best time we had in South Africa.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was we were intense.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that was the best.

[C]

The tents weren't even that bad, to be honest.

[A]

No, no, they weren't that bad.

[B]

But you guys are in a hostel.

[C]

That's what Zane said. He's like, we should stay in a hostel. And I was like, well, that's a little extreme. Like, I don't know about that.

[A]

I've always wanted to stay in a hostel. I'd love that. That's like a different thing.

[C]

I've done that. I've done an entire trip in hostel. I did an entire two week trip on the East coast when I was 10 with my mom. Just us. And we stayed in hostels every single place we went.

[A]

Who was you if I went to stay at a hostel and there was nine bunk beds. Beds. And I look across and one's Natalie's mom.

[C]

Me and my mom in the bunk bed.

[A]

Yeah. I'm taking the bed curtains, I'm tying them around my neck and I'm jumping off the top. That's. That's the end of my life.

[C]

That'd be really funny.

[A]

No, genuinely, I. I don't think I could do it. Yeah, I don't. I don't care if it's pouring rain outside. I'm sleeping on the curb.

[C]

I mean like I.

[B]

When we do you imagine wasn't talking a lot.

[A]

100. She's talking in the hospital.

[C]

No, she's talking to everybody. She made friends every house.

[A]

She's probably like, you guys should wake up early to catch the sunrise.

[C]

Oh my gosh. Pick up the rocks. Over 100%. There was. We stayed at this one hostel in Cape Cod.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And there was this very cute man that worked the front desk of the hostel and my mom made friends with him. He took us in his car, he drove us to the beach. He took us out for a whole day. Yeah. Like. And then there was another hostel we stayed at.

[A]

There's. There's nothing more talkative than horny Jen. It's like another level.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

You know, like how Marvel's like superheroes. Like, you'll have Thanos and then you'll have battle hardened Thanos. That means he won the endgame war. So that means he's got like more plates on him, he's got more armor on him and he's stronger than ever. That's what Jen is when she's horny. She's like super ultimate dark sorcerer Jen, when she's horny, you know, that's when your ears will start to bleed.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

You know what's really funny? You really hold your tongue. You don't talk shit about anybody on this side.

[C]

I know. It's so weird when it comes to Natalie's mother.

[B]

My mother, the woman that birthed Natalie. You fucking. You Just unleash. It's almost like she's not a real person.

[C]

I know. No, it literally feels like she's not real or something.

[B]

She's a real woman with feelings.

[A]

And she doesn't listen. She doesn't listen to this. She doesn't listen.

[C]

Thank God.

[A]

If she listens, we cut the wires to her radio. We took out all communication satellites in her rv. She has. No way.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No, no, no, no. If she was actually listening to this, I, I, I would hold back.

[B]

I love Jen.

[C]

No, she doesn't watch or listen to anything that we do, to be honest. To be totally frank, this is good.

[A]

This is like an alien language, sir. You think she's going to put this on? She puts on, like, sounds of waterfalls, like hummingbirds.

[B]

Oh, that's awesome. We can say whatever we want.

[A]

That's why she's my target.

[B]

This is great. If she was dead, you couldn't do it.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah, that be up.

[B]

But she's alive and well in an RV park.

[A]

She's also like. Yeah, she's also like, Jesus Christ. She's also down a clown.

[C]

I mean, well, she dishes it back.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

But it is funny how you really hyper fixate on my mother.

[A]

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[A]

We were in Chicago the other day with Jen. Not the other day. This is like, what, a couple months ago. Remember when we were like, walking around? It was like a Wednesday. We were going to bars.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And we convinced her that Natalie and I had sex.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Wait, what did we say? Were you like, yeah, Jen, I called.

[C]

Her and I was like, mom, I have to tell you something.

[A]

Wait, no, no. I was in person. Or did you call her too?

[C]

No, no, wait, you go, no.

[A]

And we were just walking on the streets, and it's like, I had sex with your daughter. I just want to let you know. And she was like. She's like, don't be stupid. No way. Natalie, did you really guys have. You guys have sex?

[B]

What'd you say?

[C]

She was mortified. Well, yeah, I played along.

[B]

You played along?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And I was like. I was like, mom, just don't make it weird.

[B]

Like. Yeah.

[A]

And then we were at a bar.

[B]

Poor Jen.

[A]

Yeah. We were at a bar and I was ordering drinks. And behind just hear Jen go to Natalie. Do you guys really have sex? And that's like, yeah.

[C]

It'S so funny because that is literally her nightmare.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whale.

[C]

So funny.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's. That is. I love. I love Jen, though. So, Jen, if you're listening to this, if this is.

[C]

She knows that. She thinks that you're like, No, I.

[A]

Do really like her. Jen, if somewhere this has been translated to the Morse code that you're. You're using, you're channeling only RV or it's accidentally connected to a Walmart walkie talkie, you just so happen to be walking by.

[C]

Is that Natalie's voice?

[A]

No, no, no. Shout out to her. I mean, I don't know. I do see more and more qualities in Natalie from her mother.

[C]

Oh, that's the best. Oh, yeah. When David recognizes that I do something that has a tinge of my mother, he's like, you're acting like your mother right now.

[B]

Does that piss you off?

[C]

Of course.

[B]

Like what? Give me an example.

[A]

Natalie hates Gen 2. Don't ever compare me to her.

[C]

I don't even know. Happens in the moment, but. And David does things that are very much his father.

[B]

Like what?

[A]

Wait, what does that even mean? Like what? Like, I don't even wear fedoras.

[C]

You don't have to wear fedoras.

[B]

I don't go on long bike rides.

[C]

I don't wear fedoras.

[A]

I don't do long bike rides. I don't wear sandals.

[C]

He has some like, antics where, like, that's weird.

[A]

I don't wear sandals.

[C]

Yeah, you're weird about your feet.

[B]

He wears sandals.

[C]

He never has his feet out.

[B]

Are your feet good looking?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let me see.

[C]

No, they're fucking not.

[B]

Mine are bad.

[A]

Yes, they are. They're like really good.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you're doing good.

[C]

It was pretty good.

[A]

No, like straight up, like, damn, Dave.

[B]

You make some money.

[A]

The fuck is that? Oh, it's a little cloth, Dave.

[B]

I dare you to. I dare you to go on feet finder.

[A]

I feel like these are like the most regular. You looked up feet.

[C]

They are like very. Just like prehistoric basic. This is.

[A]

What if you had a school project and you had to look up feet on Google Images.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You find mine and then you'd be like, no, these look too fake. Fake because they're so perfect.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You'd be like, I need, I need like a toe with like a flaw. Like a nail out of place.

[B]

God damn, I'm jealous of your feet.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Well, don't have really good feet too, bro.

[A]

Don't have. Put those dirty pythons away, Natalie.

[C]

Oh, don't walk right now. They look weird in the light.

[A]

Did you ask your cigarettes in between your toenails?

[C]

My cigarettes? Let's turn that right back at you, brother.

[A]

I've given up smoking. Thank you so much.

[C]

That's a lie. Why?

[A]

No, I haven't. I picked it up, actually. I'm going harder than ever.

[B]

What, you're smoking? Yeah.

[A]

I don't believe in cigarettes.

[B]

I wanted to smoke so bad.

[C]

They definitely do.

[A]

Really?

[C]

100%.

[B]

I don't know. I, I, Yeah, George burns lived to 100 and he's.

[A]

I think, I think the wrong person smoking is. And I think George Burns, whoever that is, would have lived to 100 no matter what. Yeah, I think there's different people for different things.

[B]

I mean, no, but I know a good, A good cigarette. But then don't you feel kind of shitty after?

[A]

Yeah, I feel horrible. I don't like smoking because I like the high. I like just doing it with my hand. And I like the moment where you go, hey, you want to go for a smoke?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That is the most un, like, undefeatable moment of all time. Like leaving a bar, stepping outside of the smoking section, just like to be able to walk out and like, have an activity to do.

[B]

When I was, when I used to work for Norm MacDonald, who was like my hero, he would, he'd be like, hey, you want to go get a smoke? And that was, like, everything to me, really. He'd be like. He'd ask me to go smoke, and I'd be like, oh, my God.

[A]

How often would that happen?

[B]

A lot. A lot, because I work for him.

[A]

But, like, every day.

[B]

Not every day.

[A]

Wait, you, like, really like Norm MacDonald?

[B]

I know. I know. It's a weird thing. I have a lot of things that I like, like, yes, she's.

[A]

How did you. Wait, wait, wait. Because now I know more about him, and I feel like I've heard more about him now other than just from you.

[B]

So, like, if you. If you talk to, like, Shane Gillis, he'd probably say Norm MacDonald was his favorite, too. Or, like, a lot of comedians would say that.

[A]

It's not just because you worked for him.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's, like, lauded as, like.

[A]

I'm so sorry. Is he still with us?

[B]

He's dead. He's dead? Yeah, he got cancer a couple years ago. And. David, check this out.

[A]

As we're talking about smoke. What kind of cancer was it, Jay?

[B]

Oh, he smoked like a fiend.

[A]

Why don't you start with that? This guy died of lung cancer. Oh, yeah. What you went with is my favorite memory from. Norm is going to smoke with him.

[B]

I used to buy him the cigarettes.

[A]

Your favorite memory is killing him?

[C]

I killed him.

[B]

He used to fucking make me go down to a very rare tobacco shop in Manhattan that only sold Canadian cigarettes, and I would have to go all the way down there, and that was, like, my job for the day.

[A]

You're talking too much. You're gonna be part of an investigation.

[B]

I know.

[A]

They're gonna track these.

[B]

I fucking killed him.

[A]

Wait. That's kind of crazy.

[B]

I mean, you know, I had a hand in it, I guess.

[C]

Yeah, that should be the title. Jason killed Norma.

[A]

How long ago did he die? Are we allowed to. Oh, he's a kid.

[B]

Couple years ago. No. He would think this was funny, I think.

[A]

I don't think he'd think this is funny. Not that.

[B]

Not that maybe not.

[A]

Not that he'd be offended, but I think he's. I think he's seen some funny stuff where he'd be like, who? My old assistant's talking shit about me.

[B]

I told you the cocaine on the cock story, right?

[A]

What did you do?

[B]

Like, when I was working for him, I hooked up with this girl, and I came in the next day, and I was like. And I was like a young kid, and I was like, norm, I was like, this girl, she. She put cocaine on my cock last Night. And he was like, really? And I was like, don't tell anyone, but this girl put cocaine on my cock. He's like, yeah, yeah, I won't tell anyone.

[A]

I went telling you.

[B]

And then. And then I was like, oh, yeah? Yeah. And then, like, two minutes later, the UPS guy walked in and he was like, hey, Daryl, you know Jason the intern? This guy likes to put cocaine on his cock. And then that's. Any person he would see would just tell people that, wow, that's really cool. Just humiliate me. Yeah, that's really so. He was so fucking funny.

[A]

David, how did you work for him just a year?

[B]

Oh, he was so you talk about it like.

[C]

Like you had, like, a David and Natalie sort of situation going on.

[B]

Well, David's not Norm MacDonald, I guess.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I guess that was a big deal, though.

[B]

Well, it's just like, to some people, he's a big. A really, really big deal. That's why Judd Apato's making a documentary about him.

[A]

Wait, sorry. What did I just say? Did I just say something? Oh, no, no. I mean, like, it's a big deal in Jason's life is what I meant to say.

[B]

Well, he was. He was somebody that really taught me a lot.

[A]

How old were you?

[B]

I was, like, 21.

[A]

And why did you stop working for him?

[B]

Because I got a job writing. So I could stay at SNL and keep working for him or I could be paid as, like, a creative at mtv. So I was like, oh. And it was. It was way more money, so I left.

[A]

You regret that?

[B]

Mm, no. Because it was hard to go from assistant to writer at snl. Like, once they saw you as an assistant, it was kinda hard.

[A]

You can't work your way up the ranks.

[B]

You can. A couple people did it, but it was kinda like.

[A]

How long were you at SNL for? Just a year.

[B]

Two years.

[A]

So you were with Norm? For one. And what was the other one?

[B]

The other one?

[A]

Otter one. She worked for a bunch of other ones.

[B]

The other one.

[A]

Do you work in a pool?

[B]

The other one I worked for.

[A]

You're building a dam.

[B]

A woman. A woman who did something else. Right.

[A]

Oh, okay. So it wasn't all comedians.

[B]

No. Like, she did the research so they would be like, hey, we're gonna make a sketch about. We're gonna make a sketch about cowboys. Like, go. Go to the bookstore and find this before the Internet. It's like, jason, go down to Barnes and Noble and find all these books about cowboys. So I'd go down and spend, like, $150? Yeah, it was crazy. And you. I'd buy $150 in cowboy books and bring them back, and the writers would be like, okay, okay, okay. They spent so much money. They spent so much fucking money on research, on research on food. Like, that's such a big budget.

[A]

This is like a big deal. SNL before the Internet.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I don't know why. I can't, like. I don't know.

[B]

I spoke. Was there. Who else was there?

[A]

I mean, I feel like a lot. What do you mean?

[B]

Oh, they were all there. Yeah, yeah. Chris Martin, Ohman. Coldplay was, like, first starting. They'd be like, we're having this band, Coldplay. People like, oh, cool.

[A]

Wait, that's great.

[B]

We watched him. You're like, whoa.

[A]

Were you ever in any of the rooms or.

[B]

No, I was in all the rooms. Oh, dressing rooms.

[A]

Like, you were, like, in the writer's room?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I'd sit there and watch them write. That's. And then on Tuesday nights, they'd stay up all night, and I'd stay there with them till, like, four in the morning. And then they'd be like, hey, so and so wants a prime rib sandwich? Can you run out and get it? And I'd be like, yeah, okay. But you were so excited just to, like, be around it. Because you were. I was like, 21, and I was like, what the fuck?

[A]

Was it like, all magic? Like, were they crushing it? Because at this time, SNL must have been at the peak.

[B]

It was the year that Adam McKay came in.

[A]

I don't know what that means.

[B]

Adam McKay did like Anchorman. He did like, secession.

[A]

Oh, so was. So is it like, the peak of snl?

[B]

It was like a new guard. So it was like, Will Ferrell came in, Norm left. Wait, what happened? Yeah, no, Will Ferrell came in the second.

[A]

You killed Norm.

[B]

I killed Norm. And then. And. And then when Will Ferrell came in, he kind of took over because Farley had just left.

[A]

Wow. So this is so Will Ferrell starting at a.

[B]

The first year I was there was the last year of Sandler and Farley and Spade. No, Spade was there. Spade stayed. So I got to meet Farley. I got to meet Sandler. And then the next year, those guys left. And then it was Will Ferrell, Sherry o', Cherry, Tracy Morgan. So it was like a whole new cast. And then. And, yeah, it was cool.

[A]

Was it like. What was it. What was the process like?

[B]

I don't know, the process of my job.

[A]

I was like, no, like, making a show, like, Is it like. Like, wait, you said Tuesday nights they'd stay out till 4am Yes.

[B]

I think, like, Monday they come in, the host comes in, they have a little meeting. The host, they'll be like, this is the host. And then. And then they'll go around the room and they'll pitch like little. I'm thinking about doing a sketch about this. And the host will be like, okay, okay. And then Tuesday, they, like, write all day, and then they stay up all night. And then Wednesday at 10am I would come in, photocopy all the scripts, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you set them out on the table, and they sit around this big round table, all the cast, and then Lauren and the host sit at the top. So let's say the host is, I don't know, fucking Alec Baldwin. Right. So Alec Baldwin sits with them. They read through 30, 40 sketches, and then Lauren retreats to his office with the host, and they put it up on the board, like, almost like a. Like a high school play. Like, this made it. This made it. This made it.

[A]

So they decide in private what they like.

[B]

Yeah. So they'll. They'll do like, maybe, I don't know, 12 or 15 sketches. Go. They make sets and everything. And then they do a dress rehearsal on Saturday night, and then they cut a few more things.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

A lot of stuff gets cut.

[A]

Were you ever there for, like, an iconic bit? Like, were you ever in the writers room for something that, like, everybody knows?

[B]

No, I mean, like, like the cheerleaders, I guess. I don't know.

[A]

Did you ever pitch a joke that got into.

[B]

I got three update jokes on, three up.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

And I only remember one of them.

[A]

What was it?

[B]

It was.

[A]

Weekend Update.

[B]

Yeah. When Norm did it.

[A]

Oh, sick.

[B]

And he was the best at. And that was when the O.J. trial was going on. So his. His whole Update was about O.J.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And. And that's why he eventually got fired, because the guy who ran NBC was friends with OJ and so he was just like, you're done. And they. They fired him.

[A]

They fired Norm.

[B]

They fired Norm?

[A]

Yeah. Why would they not talk to, like, Lauren Michaels, like, specifically? Yeah, because, like, that's on the actor.

[B]

Yeah, there's, like, there's. There's Lorne, who runs the show, and then there's the network that's, like, the boss. So it's this guy. Don Ohmeyer was the head of the.

[A]

So what was the joke that.

[B]

The joke that I got on?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It wasn't a great joke, but it was Rosa Mota won the Boston Marathon, and she had, like, a picture of, like, armpit hair.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I think the joke was something like everybody was throwing up or something about her throwing up, whatever. But it got on, like, we could go back and look at it.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't know. It was good. I wish I was better at it.

[A]

That's a fucked up joke. Jason.

[B]

Can'T believe he killed Norm MacDonald. That's crazy.

[A]

Wow. I didn't know we were in the presence of.

[B]

Yeah, but he was the best comedic genius. I want to take a minute to talk to Norm, if that's okay with you guys.

[A]

Yeah, go for it.

[B]

Hey, Norm, are you there? It's J Dog.

[C]

Yes, I'm there.

[A]

Actually, Natalie was actually really close to his voice right now.

[C]

What I just did.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I've never even heard Norm MacDonald speaks.

[A]

Dude, say that again.

[C]

Yes, I'm here.

[A]

Do you hear a little. I'm not even. I'm being deadass.

[C]

Are you fucking with her?

[A]

No, I'm not fucking with her. Do you hear a little bit of.

[B]

Norm, do it again.

[C]

Yes, I'm here.

[A]

Not that time. The first two times I heard it. All right, guys. Well, thank you, Jay, for joining us, actually. Thank you me for joining us.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you for joining us all the.

[A]

Way from Los Angeles. I flew in for the UK show.

[B]

Yeah. Thanks for being here.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you for having me. Jason, Natalie, I hope I can come back and do the show with you guys another time.

[C]

We'll see. We'll run it by our people, and we'll talk to you later.

[B]

Good luck with waivers tomorrow.

[A]

Thank you so much, guys. Go buy waivers at your local store.

[B]

Store? Which one?

[A]

Just figure it out.

[B]

Where is it at?

[A]

It's a hunt. You got to earn the waivers. That's the thing. I'm not going to tell you. I can't just plug the stores. It's at sugar but like.

[C]

And go buff.

[A]

And go buff but, like. Go find it. Go find it. All right. All right, bye.