My Neighbor Hates My Roommates

Summary

VIEWS Podcast: "My Neighbor Hates My Roommates"

Date: November 7, 2025
Hosts: David Dobrik, Jason Nash, Natalie (regular guest/manager)
Episode Theme:
A classic comedic deep dive into the chaos of living in LA, focusing on unruly security guards, awkward neighbor interactions, the strange social rules of adulthood, and behind-the-scenes stories from David's inner circle. The hosts riff on everything from Halloween parties and viral posting strategies to the existential dilemmas of social media creators.

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Main Topics & Discussion Points

1. Security Guards and Awkward Neighbor Dynamics

• [01:16] Jason shares his fear of David’s intimidating security guard.
  • Jason: “Your security guard is a demon. He scares me, damn it. Every single time.”
• [01:43] David recounts stories of their security guard causing more problems than solving them—like peeing in neighbor's bushes and trampling their flowers, leading them to hire new guards.
• [03:02] The narrowness of the street and large parties make neighbor relations tense, especially during events like Halloween, despite their best attempts to manage the situation.
• [03:53] Funny conflict with a neighbor who calls John, one of David’s guards, "an incompetent idiot" due to his communication anxiety. Julia (John’s girlfriend) defends him, explaining “he gets anxiety,” and the neighbor retorts, “I get anxiety, but at least I know how to converse.”

2. Immigrant Experiences & Accents

• [04:44] David and Jason talk about their own families’ background, discussing how one Slovakian artist lost her accent by watching American TV as a child. David: “She learned it just from watching…films and stuff.”
• [05:54] Jason shares he intentionally lost his Boston accent to pursue national sports announcing, but laments: “Yeah. Where are they now, Jay?”

3. Money, Happiness, and the Value of Friendship

• [06:28] David debates the cliché about happiness and money, arguing most people realize early that relationships matter more than material wealth.
  • David: “I feel so fulfilled in my friendships…I’ve never even thought about it as an issue.”
• [08:39] Discussion of longevity in “Blue Zones” like Sardinia, where social connection beats olive oil and fish as the secret to long life.

4. Social Media Posting, Anxieties, and Close Friends Culture

• [10:15] David describes a "close friends" dilemma on Instagram, debating what’s public-worthy vs. private.
  • Jason complains about not being included and asks David to name his close friends, which David jokingly refuses.
• [12:17] David recognizes that his Close Friends IG stories get more engagement than public ones, raising questions about authenticity and vulnerability online:
  • “Close friends should be like, look at all this coke on the floor. Do you know what I mean?”
• [13:44] Natalie and David contrast their approaches: Natalie is prolific and casual about social media, while David overthinks every post.
• [15:12] The distinction between "passion" and "interest" in their social media work is explored, with some light ribbing (Natalie: “I love social media!” David: “Yeah, but…you can’t possibly be passionate about it…”)
• [18:05] Discussion of ego and posting:
  • Natalie explains, “If you’re really anxious about what people are going to think…you’re less likely to post because you’re overthinking.”

5. Vlog & Lottery Bit (Plus Natalie’s Recurring Diarrhea Gag)

• [19:07] The group jokes about splitting a lottery ticket, and David insists on filming their agreement “for the courts.”
• [19:40] Natalie’s bathroom emergencies become a running gag, linked to pivotal vlog moments like stopping at a liquor store before camping, leading to the “reason" they bought the lottery tickets.
• [21:06] Natalie voices concern about these jokes following her into the public eye, “I don’t want to be in the vlog…I don’t want it to follow me.”

6. Behind the Scenes: Camping Trip Chaos

• [22:03] The group’s misadventures starting a camping trip late, taking detours to REI and In-N-Out, searching for bathrooms as it gets dark, and arriving late at the site.
• [23:08] Getting high at the campsite; Jason stays sober as the designated driver, and David zooms in on him claiming he looks "the highest."
  • Jason: “It was eight high people telling me I was high.”
• [24:33] David invents a road game: every time Jason’s driving veers onto the lane markers, in a set order, the car moans. Natalie wins.
  • Natalie: “When I did my final moan…David smiled and gave me the biggest thumbs up. He was so proud.”
• [27:02] David’s emotional “announcement” that he wants to start farting freely around friends.
  • David: “I want to be the guy that farts around people.”
  • Natalie: “No. Ew.”
  • Jason: “I'd love to do a week trial.”
  • Cue extensive, mock-serious debate over farting norms.

7. The Heavy Burden of Editing & Crash Out

• [31:06] David describes a “crash out” from overthinking his vlog edits, doubting whether their camping material is actually funny, unsure what to cut or keep.
  • David: “For some reason I just never believed anybody. And I kept thinking everyone’s lying to me. I was having a crash out.”
  • Jason: “He had like six people come in and watch the blog. First I watched it… ‘This is great.’ ‘No, it’s not. Nothing’s funny.’”
• [33:41] The complexities of “inside jokes” and lore (like Bella and Ilya’s unresolved friendship issues) and whether the wider audience will get it.
• [36:11] A failed Big Mac eating challenge, emotionally colored by work pressure and the eerie feeling of being “not funny” anymore.

8. Paranoia & Neighborhood Watch

• [39:40] Jason shares a story about convincing himself that a car parked outside means someone’s out to get him. He calls the police, only to find that the man is a harmless neighbor waiting for a contractor the next day.
  • Jason: “I called 911 and I was like, okay. I called 911…I freaked out.”
  • The group laughs at his paranoia, teasing about LA’s indifferent police and the “danger" of a luxury Audi.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On LA Parties and Security:
  • David: “Our security guard can easily be the actual problem.” [02:20]
  • Neighbor (quoted by Julia): “Last time I came up here, I talked to some incompetent idiot. He couldn’t understand a single thing…I get anxiety, but at least I know how to communicate.” [04:13]
• On Social Connections:
  • David: “Money is not important and it’s the people you surround yourself with…like, I kind of picked up on that when I was 11.” [06:43]
• On Instagram Close Friends:
  • David: “For some reason, my Close Friends…does really well.” [10:44]
  • Jason: “Name me some of the people on that Close Friends. I want their names.” [11:08]
• On Posting Anxiety:
  • Natalie: “If you’re really anxious about what people are gonna think…you’re less likely to be posting because you’re just overthinking.” [18:05]
• On Farting:
  • David: “I want to be the guy that farts around people.” [27:56]
  • Natalie: “No. Ew.”
• On Creative Meltdowns:
  • David: “I had a crash out yesterday… I wanted to, like, reevaluate my entire career.” [31:12]
  • Jason: “He had six people come in and watch the vlog…‘It’s great.’ ‘No, it’s not. Nothing’s funny.’” [31:27]
• On Paranoia:
  • Jason: “I called the police. Are you saying something?...And I didn’t get through to the police. They wouldn’t come, obviously.” [42:28]
  • David: “There’s a man outside, maybe in a car cause it has tinted windows. That is the last thing an LA police officer wants to hear.” [42:59]

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Highlighted Timestamps

• 01:16 — Jason on scary security guard
• 03:53 — Neighbor confronts Julia about John, the anxious guard
• 04:44 — David talks about accents and language
• 06:28 — David & Jason discuss fulfillment, money, and friendship
• 10:15 — The Instagram Close Friends dilemma
• 12:17 — Close Friends engagement and authenticity
• 13:44 — Social media approaches & self-comparison
• 19:07 — Lottery ticket bit and Natalie’s bathroom emergency
• 22:03 — Camping trip chaos
• 23:34 — “Moaning game” on the car ride
• 27:02 — David’s announcement: wants to fart freely
• 31:12 — Creative “crash out” over vlog edit
• 33:41 — Lore of Bella and Ilya’s camping drama
• 39:40 — Jason’s late-night paranoia and “neighborhood watch”
• 42:28 — Calling the police about suspicious Audi

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Tone & Style

The episode is classic VIEWS: fast-paced, self-deprecating, and riff-heavy. The tone switches from silly confessions (David’s fart ambitions), neurotic overthinking (posting, editing, social anxiety), and genuine moments of reflection (the value of friendship over wealth). Natalie and Jason play off David as equal parts straight man and enabler, with chaotic stories and gentle mockery infusing every topic.

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In Summary

If you missed this episode, you missed the trio’s chaotic take on LA life—awkward run-ins with neighbors, the existential drama of social media, and the peculiar camaraderie of a friend group that survives on private jokes, minor humiliations, and mutual crash outs. The episode is both a window into David’s off-camera anxieties and a reminder that behind every perfectly manicured vlog is a whirlwind of self-doubt, laughter, and, maybe, a little too much information about digestive emergencies.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

This is a real good story about.

[A]

Bronx and his dad, Ryan. Real United Airlines customers. We were returning home, and one of the flight attendants asked Bronx if he wanted to see the flight deck and meet Captain Andrew.

[B]

I got to sit in the driver's seat.

[A]

I grew up in an aviation family, and seeing Bronx kind of reminded me of myself when I was that age.

[B]

That's Andrew, a real United pilot.

[A]

These small interactions can shape a kid's future.

[B]

It felt like I was the captain.

[A]

Allowing my son to see the flight deck will stick with us forever. That's how good. Leads the way, Views.

[C]

What's up, guys?

[A]

Welcome back to Views. We are back. We are live. And Jason wanted to tell me something, but I started real quick. What's wrong?

[C]

Your security guard is a demon. Oh, he scares me, damn it. Every single time.

[A]

Oh, okay, good.

[C]

I guess he's doing his job, but he's also scaring the fucking living shit out of me.

[A]

Do you know we had to get a new one? Oh, you did again.

[C]

Because the guy you had, I would walk out and he would come out of the bush, and he'd be like, all done. And I'd be like.

[A]

He'd say, all done? Yeah. Oh, like, finished. Oh, like you're leaving the house?

[C]

Yeah, because I'm leaving. You know, I do the pod and then I leave.

[A]

No. So our neighbor called, and apparently our security guard was peeing in her bushes. Oh, God.

[C]

Yeah. He was not right.

[A]

And he was, like, sitting. He was. First of all, he drives his SUV here. Like, really cool, badass security suv. Then for some reason, he sits outside of it and he puts down. He would put down, like, a little, like, you know, July 4th chair, whatever.

[C]

Those things.

[B]

Yeah, like a little foldable.

[A]

Little foldable chair into the yard. Like, into the flowers of the neighbor. And he would just sit there. And we didn't know this until, like, I saw a picture of it. I was like, oh, my God. He's just stomping on the neighbor's flowers. So, yeah, so we had to get a new one.

[C]

It's funny when you're putting your, you know, your trust in someone who's scary as hell.

[A]

Yeah, it is kind of scary because our security guard can easily be the actual problem.

[C]

And when you had. John was the security guard. Yeah.

[A]

I still don't know what the problem was with that. I was saving so much money.

[B]

Our safety. John, you weren't saving money.

[A]

Safety was fine. Cause John was up. All I need is someone to be like, intruder. And then I get up, like, that's all I need. I don't need.

[B]

Like, I don't think John was on his toes ready to scream intruder at any sound. He's probably passed out.

[A]

That's really funny. Okay, so one of the neighbors came and yelled because of our party. He didn't yell. He was actually very respectful. The party does cause havoc in the neighborhood, and.

[B]

But we try to prepare everybody as best.

[A]

Not havoc. Like, we're not, like, just aimlessly doing it. Like, it's very.

[C]

No, it's just the street is really narrow, and it.

[A]

The street's narrow. We have cars. We have 10 valet guys. We have 20 security guards up and down the street. Like, trying our best that we can. But sometimes just how things happen, it depends on the night. Like Halloween. This is why I say, like, I don't know if I want to keep having Halloween parties, because the entire city is looking to party. Like, Everybody in their 20s is looking to go out. So, like, people that aren't invited are.

[C]

Showing up in their 50s and their 50s.

[A]

Sorry, Jake. So everybody ends up showing up, and it's just. It's really tough on the street. Anyways, our neighbor came to be like, you know, there's some, like, trash in the. In the driveway or whatever. In. In his driveway. Yeah. And this is the second time my neighbor has interacted with John.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And John gets, like, terrified of him. And then. So one time, this last time, why.

[B]

Would he get flustered by, like, confrontation?

[A]

Yeah, John just, like, not good at all.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So. So he saw him coming, and then instead, Julia, John's girlfriend, went to the door to, like, save the day. And John's standing right on the other side of the door, like, just waiting for Julia to finish. And he's like, last. The neighbor's like, last time I came up here, I talked to some incompetent idiot. He couldn't understand a single thing I was saying. And she goes, yeah, that would be my boyfriend. And he's like, well, I'm sorry, but that man does not know how to communicate. And she's like, yeah, he gets Anxiety. And my neighbor's like, I get anxiety, but at least I know how to conversate. I was like, that's the best. That's the best.

[C]

You're not wrong, sir.

[A]

I talked to my neighbor on the phone today, and it was really funny. He was like. He's like, I'm sorry. I feel like I've scared your friend a couple times. And I'm like, it's good. It's just like he's. He has a tough time communicating.

[C]

He's from the Philippines.

[A]

He's from the Philippines. Even though he's been longer here than. He's been longer in the States than me. But for some reason, it seems like he just got here.

[C]

He had his foreskin. He has foreskin removed. When he was 15.

[A]

He did have his dramatic.

[C]

He's still dealing with it.

[A]

I met somebody from. I was at a party and I met somebody from Slovakia. Oh, yeah, It's a pretty big deal. Like, I met. I was talking to, like, one of my, like, manager friends who manages, like, music people. What are they called? Artists. And. And he's like, you're from Slovakia, right? And then I was like, yeah. He's like, dude, I just picked up a new artist. She's from Slovakia, and she moved here also. She actually moved here five, six years ago. And she learned her English is perfect, accentless. It's kind of crazy. She learned it just from watching, like.

[C]

That'S crazy when people are television.

[A]

Yeah. She said. She told me, she's like, my goal was always to be a big time musician. And I knew I needed to get rid of my accent from when I was a kid. So, like, when I was like, six, seven years old. Six, seven. I started to. I started to watch American, like, films and stuff. And I practiced my accent. Now I don't have one.

[C]

I got rid of my Boston accent.

[A]

Kind of crazy. Yeah. That's really strong and brave of you on purpose. Did you really?

[C]

Oh, yeah. I wanted to be a sports announcer growing up. And I was like, I gotta fucking get rid of this. I can't sell, like, these assholes.

[A]

Would that not help you to be a sports announcer?

[C]

That's. You wanted to be local. I wanted to be national.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You had a lot of dreams.

[C]

Yeah. Where are they now, Jay?

[A]

That's kind of crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How do you.

[C]

Would you.

[A]

Would you look back on your life and would you say, like, everything's okay? Would you? Because, you know, a lot of people say, I don't. You know, a lot of people say.

[C]

Actually, I Wish I could.

[A]

You know, I have. I talked about this. I brought this up to Natalie five times already.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I. I've been seeing a lot of interviews on my TikTok. This is. This is. I'm going back from, like, the last five, six years, and it's always old people. It's always old people or super rich people being like. You know what I've realized.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

From all these years.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Is that money is not important and it's the people you surround yourself with.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And I'm like, what kind of fucking morons are these people that it took them 75, 80 years to realize? Probably, like, one of the most obvious facts ever. Like, I feel like I kind of picked up on that when I was, like, 11, you know, not to flex on when I realized that it was.

[C]

Important to have cool friends. But.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, maybe he realized it when he was young, too. That's what he's just passing on, really. Okay, maybe he's 80 and.

[A]

No, because the way they. The way they said. The way they always say it is like, I got all the cars, I got all the money, and I got all the nice things. And then I realized that's not what made me happy.

[C]

You know what? I think there's a lot of people that. That happens, too.

[A]

I do find that really strange.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause it's like. Cause it's like. Well, like me, for example. Like, I think we touched on this, like, a couple podcasts ago.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I was saying how, like, I feel so fulfilled in my friendships and in just, like, the people that I have in my life that, like, I've never even ever thought about it as an issue. And I never, like, I think about materialistic objects and I get so excited about them, but I'm so fulfilled in my friendship department that it doesn't feel like I'm missing anything. And Alex, I was like. I'm like, maybe people have it backwards. I think I got lucky with that. I found success in work that involved hanging out with friends.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

So I think that's very rare.

[C]

People aren't. You are lucky. Because most people have to. When they get the money, they have.

[A]

To give that up or to get the money.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You most likely. Sometimes it's like, not hang out with your friends.

[C]

Got to go into a business and be all about this business.

[A]

Yes. Okay. So I think that's definitely my. My little bubble that I live in and the fact that I kind of.

[C]

How many people have you met that are like, they made a lot of money in finance and they're like, I fucking hate it. I've met so many people like that.

[B]

Yeah, I've met a lot of people that like.

[C]

And they've made a lot of money.

[B]

That are super successful but don't actually like their job. But they obviously stay in the job because it makes them so much money.

[C]

That's a big fact. In. I saw this thing, like, how to live a Long life. And the number one thing is stress. Like, if you have stress, you're gonna die. And. But if you. That's why, like, in those countries, like Sardinia, where they, like, live the longest, it's like, it's not the olive oil. It's not the fish they eat. It's like.

[A]

It's just, like, hang out all day.

[C]

Yeah. So you're. You're doing a good thing. Hey, did you hear in North Korea, they actually have a sport now of just resting? And when I was thinking, I saw it and I was like, man, Dave would crush this.

[A]

How do you. How do you participate?

[C]

So you. You. You. You sit on a mat.

[A]

This feels like propaganda that you've just fallen for. And I'm. I'm also falling for it.

[B]

Everybody is at peace.

[A]

I'm about to book a trip to North Korea. South.

[C]

South. Oh, South Korea.

[B]

You said North.

[C]

Sorry, sorry.

[A]

Also, the other day, you did see Steely Dan, by the way, somebody DM me. And they were like, jason Steely Dan first. No, you said it first. And I edit the pod.

[C]

I literally listened to it.

[A]

Yeah, they were like, don't let Jason Gaslight you. He said it first. And then that's where you started saying Steely Dan because he said it first.

[C]

Oh, okay. Maybe I did. Maybe I did. You're right. Okay, sorry. But no, in North. In South Korea.

[A]

There you go again.

[C]

Sorry, sorry. In South Korea, they. They all sit there and then they have doctors, they come around and they check your heart rate.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

And whoever's the most chill wins. Wow.

[A]

Wow. That's crazy.

[C]

You did nine hours on this couch the other day.

[A]

Who can I know? But I feel like my heart rates. I don't know. I still, like, snack a lot. And I eat, like, kind of Chipotle. Like, my heart rate's already, like, constantly racing. Oh, shit. Someone just came into the house. Could be security looking for water.

[C]

Are you safe?

[A]

I ordered Taco Bell the other day.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And my. My doordash driver got. I'm having a close friends dilemma on Instagram. My doordash driver got stuck.

[C]

I am, too, having a close friends dilemma. What's Your Instagram. I'm not on your Close friends.

[A]

Oh, you're still not on there.

[C]

Yeah, we've talked about it. Then yesterday, we were in the car and you Close friends something, and it blew up on Close Friends. And all these people were like, oh, Dave, you're so funny. And then Dave was like, nat, Nat. Should I make this one public?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For some reason, it's killing.

[A]

For some reason, my Close Friends, like, does really well.

[B]

And like, there's high engagement rate on the Close Friends.

[A]

My engagement rate is like, when I. When I post Close friends, it's like 8 or 9 Responses to My Close Friends.

[C]

Really? Out of what, like 35?

[A]

Out of like 90.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Like crazy. But when I post a regular story.

[B]

Crazy, there's 90 people and you didn't make it.

[C]

I know, I know, I know.

[A]

I'm putting you on there. I want to see you on there. I want to see.

[C]

Name me some of the people on that Close Friends. I want their names.

[A]

No, that's the part of the close friends is I shall not close friends until. Okay, Jay, you are my close friends.

[C]

But also the fact that they're on your close friends makes them go like, oh, wow. David thought of me like, that's cool, right?

[A]

That's why people are interacting with it. So when I post it normally to my public profile, and I think it's funny. So, like, I posted DMs the other day with my doordash driver, all my close friends, okay? And my dilemma is, why am I posting this shit to my close friends when it should just be a public thing? Like, I'm a social media influencer. What do I have to hide about a conversation with my doordash driver? Yeah, like, close friends should be like, look at all this coke on the floor. Do you know what I mean? So I'm like close friends doing the wrong things. So I close friends. And my doordash driver said, please cancel your order. I'm stuck in an elevator. And I Close Friends. I said, neither me or Taco Bell have an elevator. So I was really confused and I was like, tell me where you are. I'm going to come save you. And then he sent me, like, crying emojis. And he was like, no, please cancel your food. And he's like, And I. And then I responded. I'm like, I'm not giving up on you. Tell me where. Tell me where you are. And then he ended up. He ended up canceling. But anyway, that's like something I would put on my close friends. And it did well. And then I was like, fuck, now, like, now do I send it through to the public world or will that feel like I just cheated my close friends who thought we had this intimate moment.

[C]

Yeah, you're not going to win.

[A]

And also close friends, for some reason feels like, like, okay, so, like three, four years ago, and I really used to go out in la. I, like, felt the need to go out because, like, I was like, okay, I'm not vlogging anymore, so I don't really, like, make FaceTime with anybody other than if I'm going out with people, like, then I see them. I'm, like, keeping in touch with all my LA friends, so I just felt the need to go out. But close friends, like, kind of has me keep in touch with my LA friends in a different way.

[C]

So you don't have to go out. So what you're saying?

[A]

Yeah, so I don't have to go out anymore. So it's like, just kind of easier just to be like, put. Put something up on there. I don't know. And I've never put anything in my close friends that, like, I would, like, deem as illegal or like.

[C]

Or something you wouldn't want everyone to see publicly.

[B]

Shareable.

[A]

Yeah, like, everything. All my close friends could actually go on my public, but I just. I don't know.

[C]

Well, what is that?

[A]

Now that you're on it, Jay, you'll be able to.

[C]

Oh, I can't wait for this heat. Yeah, a lot of pressure.

[A]

It's not good. Like, great stuff sometimes. It's pretty.

[B]

It's pretty good. He's pretty fucking funny.

[C]

Yeah, he is. I don't know why you just don't put it out to the 20 million instead of the 90.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know either. He's so weird. There's so many funny, funny things that happen, like, on a daily basis that, like, he captures. Maybe he doesn't capture whatever it is. I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, he's so funny.

[B]

He doesn't share it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Even though it's like. It's like his job to be funny and share it with people.

[A]

Yeah. Like, Natalie does that really well. Natalie, like, well, we'll be going to, like, a dinner.

[C]

Oh, Natalie's the best. I'll see an Instagram post from that. We were at, like, a Shell station and I'm like, damn, that's posting.

[A]

It's stupid. We just had our.

[C]

She's great at it.

[A]

We just had our Halloween party. Yeah, I. I took not one Single photo of myself. I don't have anything to show for it.

[C]

That's a guy thing.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, I'm a social media influencer and Natalie's my manager. She. She doesn't really take deals anymore. She just, like, does things for me. And she still, for some reason, posts, like 5 TikToks a fucking week. I post nothing. Yeah, you do, bro. Yeah, you do. And it's like fudgeing. And you'll be like, it's so easy. I just throw my phone.

[B]

I mean, it is so easy.

[A]

What does that mean? It's so easy. And I'm also.

[C]

Your bar is a little higher than hers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I'm like, do you. Are you, like, enjoying, like, she, like, lip sync to a song and then she'll, like, spin around to show her dress up.

[C]

Someone's getting.

[A]

And I'm like, is this fun? Like, are you having fun?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Someone's going grumpy old man on us.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[C]

I'm just saying, I mean, I get it. I can't. Naveen too. She's always putting up tiktoks and I'm like, how do you. I can't do that.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, nah, you don't even have to do that for your job. You just fucking. Just literally get me jobs. Like, why are you posting? What are you doing? Like, if I was her, I'd, like, not post it. It's not that I don't like social.

[B]

Media, but I like people to, like, see. I like sharing what I'm doing. Like, I like. Like, if I have, like, a really sick outfit on, like, I want people to see it and I want to share it.

[A]

No, you're right. I think I've just gone, like, so far off the deep end of social media.

[B]

But you're also, like, you're like your passions and My passions.

[A]

I guess you don't have a passion for social media.

[B]

No. Excuse you?

[A]

Well, I mean, that's true. Right? Like, you don't.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

Do you feel like the bar is a lot higher for you than Natalie.

[B]

My Pat, Your passion is comedy, right? Like, you enjoy putting videos together.

[A]

I don't think comedy is my passion. I think, like, making a. Making a well constructed video.

[B]

Okay, fine, whatever. If you want to be more specific.

[A]

No, neither of those. Not editing or directing. Just like, putting a video together.

[B]

Okay, whatever. My passions, I like fashion. I like doing my makeup. Like, I just like doing girly things.

[A]

Right. So it's just like a different approach.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I Guess I get that.

[C]

But what do you like to do?

[B]

But let's elaborate on me not being. What did you just say? You don't have a passion for social media. I love social media.

[A]

Yeah, but it's not like you're not passionate about it. You can't possibly be pat. Like, when I say passion, I say, like, something that you like.

[C]

Oh, careful.

[A]

No, no, let me go dive in. No, when I. When I think passion, I think something you, like, just used. You spoke into existence that you couldn't, like, stop. You know what I mean? Like a dream that you've had forever. Like, I don't think you've wanted to be an Instagram poster your entire life. I didn't think that was, like, a rude thing to say. Like, did you want to be a TikToker? Do you? I mean.

[C]

No.

[B]

No.

[A]

Right, so that's what I'm saying. Like.

[B]

But I do have a passion for it. I love.

[A]

You do like it. I think I'm just using it to different.

[C]

Different kind of passion.

[A]

I don't know not to, like, knock your TikTok at all.

[B]

I mean, no, that's literally all you do. Whenever I post a fucking TikTok, David dies. He's like, why? What? What was the purpose behind this TikTok? Yeah, he does. He does. Yeah, he. You do go very Chris.

[A]

I love me Chris Martin, man. Yeah, it's my favorite. Why would I post anything on social media? Just shout into nothingness. Every time Natalie posts, I'm like, you're shouting at nothingness.

[B]

It's so fun. I also.

[A]

No, I know, I know. I'm being super, like, pessimistic about it.

[B]

That's literally the point of social media is the way that I use it.

[A]

You're, like, so curate and articulate about it. I think I'm also, like, envious of the fact that, like, for some reason, you're juggling things and then you're also, like, just throwing shit up. When to me, I'm just like, what? You just fucking posted something. Like, if I have to post a brand deal, it's like, natalie, come sit next to me on the couch.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's like.

[A]

And Natalie has to show me what buttons to hit on Instagram or TikTok. I'm not even kidding. I'm so, so bad at that shit. TikTok is updating so quickly. I only post once a month.

[B]

It's not updating that quickly, bro.

[A]

When I get around to posting, it's like, already. It's a new platform. I'm learning these things.

[B]

No, it's true.

[C]

TikTok's the same. Even. I can't even.

[B]

He posts on Snapchat every day, and he still acts like he doesn't know how to use the platform sometimes.

[A]

Well, I'm just like. I don't know.

[C]

I read this thing today about, like, ego and posting and how people don't. Don't. Oh, I know what it is. Social media causes anxiety. So depending on how famous you want to be, depends on what your. What your constituency for anxiety is, what you are, not consistency, what your. Your ability to handle anxiety.

[B]

I also just don't.

[A]

Wait, wait, what is he saying? Explain.

[B]

He's saying you're a really anxious person. Like, you're really nervous about. People are going to think about you or whatever. Something's going to happen. Like, you're less likely to be posting because you're just. You're overthinking.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

You're, like, super anxious. About what?

[A]

Your ego.

[C]

Your ego is in the way.

[A]

Yeah, for sure, my ego is in the way. But, like. But also, like.

[C]

But I mean, granted, look, we played the lottery last night, you and I, and we're splitting 800 million the drawing soon.

[A]

And I get that on video, by the way.

[C]

David, why do you think I would screw you out of 400 million? Do you really think that people.

[A]

That's. Do you hear what you just said? Why would I screw you out of four?

[C]

Do you think I would screw you out of 400 million? That really pissed me off last night when you videotaped it. I had already taken pictures on my phone.

[A]

Jason. Jason. I were getting tickets. I don't have a debit card. So, Jay, we're splitting this, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's like, sure. And I'm like, okay, let me film you for the courts. And then Jason says, but if he wins 40,000, can you have a little bit?

[C]

No, I said, we'll split it, but if we win 40,000, can I have it all? And he goes, sure.

[A]

And then Ilya goes, that's going to be a little murky when you get to court. You should be more specific about that.

[C]

I'll tell you what's funny. I'll tell you what's funny. What I thought about. Because I was thinking about this morning, because I love to think about it. If we do win, the reason that the person we really need to thank is Natalie. Is Natalie.

[B]

Let's not dive into why in the specifics.

[A]

I mean, we should dive into. Because people will see it in the Vlog. So I want them to be ready.

[B]

Ready for what? They're not seeing that shit in the vlog.

[A]

What? No, it's not that bad. You're just a human being.

[C]

Shut up. Everybody gets diarrhea.

[B]

You're such a little hypocrite.

[C]

I have it all the time. I have, like, twice a week.

[A]

Not as much as Natalie.

[B]

That's okay. That's okay.

[A]

You, Natalie, had diarrhea at the weirdest time. We were going camping. You'll see this in the vlog. I don't want to get into it, but we were going camping, and we couldn't find a bathroom. We were, like, in the middle of nowhere.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And there was only a Porta Potty. And it was really funny because the Porta Potty was, like, outside in, like, kind of a sketchy area. So me, Jason, Ilya, Alex Ernst went with her to the Porta Potty.

[B]

I was scared to go to the back of the like area.

[A]

Yeah. But then it was funny. Cause it's just one Porta Potty. Natalie and us four right now. She goes to the Porta Potty. Like, what's separating us from the sounds of diarrhea? Like a thin layer of plastic. So Natalie's like, okay, I'm not even. Just. I'm not even gonna go here. Cause I don't trust you guys to leave. So then we went to another. Then we went to another liquor store.

[C]

And they had a proper bathroom.

[A]

Proper bathroom. And the reason for us stopping at these liquor stores is the reason we have Natalie to thank for winning $800 million for the lottery.

[C]

Just imagine everyone I tell as I travel the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

400 million. That's amazing. And then I'll just.

[A]

Natalie will be traveling the world with us.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Super rich.

[C]

Also, if it wasn't for Natalie's diary.

[B]

I'll be sitting on your yachts.

[A]

Yeah. And she won't be. Yeah. She'll hate us telling the story to the rich people in Greece.

[B]

No, I said. I told you that. This cannot be something that, like, I don't want it to be in the vlog. I don't want it to be something that follows me. You were saying the other day that.

[C]

Cut this out.

[B]

Dave cut this off. You were saying, like, this. The podcast is like a safe space. Almost like it feels like we talk in the podcast and we share it.

[A]

And it's like, this is close friends.

[B]

Yeah, this is, like, close friends. You know? Like, I don't feel like. I think people.

[A]

Let's soft test it. Everyone say no, no, no.

[C]

Everyone.

[A]

Dm. Natalie, don't worry. I'm gonna keep your secret.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

And then from that dm, we'll see how many strong supporters there are that are willing to keep the secret. And then we'll move it on to the vlog. We'll see if it's. See, this will be the test audience, how they feel about Natalie's diarrhea.

[B]

That's okay, guys, please don't do that.

[C]

I learned a lot last. I learned a lot last night because we went camping and it started out really crappy and I was like, what are we doing? It took us five hours to get there.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And then I had the best time of my life.

[B]

It was really fun.

[A]

Oh, shit. I guess this podcast is going out after the vlog.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Sorry I talked about it. Like, right now we're recording before the vlog goes up. The vlog goes up tomorrow. Yeah. Okay. So we can talk about camping. Yeah, the camping was interesting.

[C]

So fun.

[A]

What'd you think?

[C]

Well. Well, we left at 4:00 clock to go camping, guys. It gets dark at 5 now, and I'm just like, what the fuck? In my back of my mind, like, what the fuck are we doing? This is so dumb. I can't believe we're going. We're driving all the way there. It's gonna be cold. I gotta sleep on the ground. And then. And then we get in the car, and then Dave wants to stop at rei. Adds an hour. Then Dave. Dave sees the circus at rei. He's like, let's go check out the circus. And I'm like, oh, my God. And then. And then what, Nat?

[B]

Well, you drove us 45 minutes in the opposite direction.

[C]

You told me to go to REI in Calabasas.

[A]

Yeah, it was really weird.

[C]

You told me to go to rei.

[B]

We thought it was on the way.

[A]

And after we went to In N out. Incredible move. Also horrible move for Natalie, which is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That was the demise. Natalie got too many chopped chilies, and that sent the in and out going straight through her body.

[C]

Yeah. Then searching for the bathroom. That added so much time. We didn't get to the campsite till 10 o'. Clock.

[A]

I asked the guy that was working the gas station. I was like, when she comes out, can you ask my friend how her diarrhea was? And he's like, no, I can't do that. So he didn't do that.

[C]

And then.

[A]

Yeah, we got to the campsite, which was really tough to find.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we all got high.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Which was.

[C]

Except for me.

[A]

Yeah, except for Jason.

[C]

We said we were gonna get high. And then I said, oh, I'm not very good on camera high. And Dave goes, yeah, that's true.

[B]

Jason don't.

[A]

When Jason gets drunk, he, like, overthinks things.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was like, yeah, yeah, Jay, just.

[C]

Just say. Or. I think I'm being funny and I'm not.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, jason, stay so bad. But then what would happen? We all got high.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I kept. Like, I had my camera on. Like, I just had it on just in case something happened. And I kept zooming in on Jason's face. I was. Kept being like, dude, look how fucking high Jason is. And Jason kept going, I'm not high. I didn't smoke. And we were all accusing him of being the highest around the campfire. And it was so confusing.

[C]

It was eight high people telling me I was high. And even when I tried to. Le Ferris is like. He's like, jason, walk a straight line. I know you're high. I was like, I'm not high. And then. And because I can't see so well and it's dark, I couldn't walk a straight line. He's like, that was terrible. He's like, yeah, but you didn't walk a straight line.

[A]

And then Jason drove home because Jason was the dd. Natalie, you have to work on those sneezes. You sneeze like a fucking tyrannosaurus.

[B]

I don't know why it's so dramatic. I apologize.

[C]

Why does it bother you when she sneezes? She was doing that in the car, too. And you're getting so mad, dude.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

You start yelling at her, and then you turn to me and you go, you know, I'm trying to be nicer to. Have you noticed I'm trying to be nice.

[A]

I was kidding. I was kidding.

[C]

Oh, you're kidding.

[A]

Did you like the game we played?

[C]

Oh, my God, the game was so sweet.

[A]

I came up with a game when we were high. Oh, my God.

[C]

Wait, I forgot about this.

[A]

So Jason wasn't the best at driving. And we were like, okay. So every time he would go out of the lane, the vibrations in the road would go. That was actually a really good sound.

[C]

Yeah, it's really good.

[A]

That's what the road does, right? When you're like, on.

[B]

It's a one lane road.

[A]

And I was like, okay, let's go around the car. And every time he. He hits that, you have to moan and you have to moan in order. So I'LL go first. It's in clockwise position. So I moan first.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then Alex Ernst has to moan.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then Ilya, then Natalie, then you, then back to me. Right. And. And if you miss it, you're out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And the point of the game is you don't talk about the lines, you just do it. Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And. And I was like, jason, don't hit the lines on purpose. Because I wanted to go.

[C]

You want a good hour and a half game.

[A]

Yeah. I wanted to go like a good 15 minutes without nobody realizing that we're still playing the game. So we'd miss our moans and we.

[B]

Were having conversations in between.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, I would go when he hit it, and then Alex would go. Alex was out first, then Ilya, then me, and then Jason went out. And Natalie won the moaning game.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Natalie was really happy.

[C]

I felt bad. You created the game.

[A]

Yeah. And I lost.

[C]

And you went out first.

[B]

When I did my final moan, like when it came to me, because it was just.

[A]

It was just Natalie and Jason.

[B]

It was just Natalie and my. Yeah.

[C]

I was driving. I believe I lost and I was driving.

[B]

Yeah. You didn't hear me, but David did hear me. And the way that he turned back to me and smiled and gave me the biggest thumbs up. He was so proud that I sneakily got a moment.

[A]

Yeah. Cause she moaned, so that means you don't know that your turn's coming up because you weren't paying attention.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was like, I heard the moan. It's confirmed. It's part of the game. I've, like, registered it. And then next bump, lo and behold, it bumped. And you were expecting Natalie to moan, but it was actually your turn and you lost.

[C]

I was just trying to not crash your car.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

Your really, really nice car.

[A]

I know. But it was a pretty fun camping experience. I don't know how I'm gonna edit it yet. Cause I haven't edited it yet. But it was really funny. It started out really funny high, and then it started out paranoid high. It was like the perfect. It was the perfect high. I love being paranoid. I love getting high and feeling really weird. And it was a dream come true. I thought it was a really good experience. I have an announcement to make. And I've been. I've been debating this, actually, for genuinely. I'm being deadass. I'm gonna start tearing up because it's kind of. This is gonna be hard for me to talk about.

[C]

You're quitting.

[A]

For a year, I've been thinking about this for a year.

[B]

You've been thinking about this for a whole year?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So this time last year, I was thinking about shape of your life. This is what you were thinking about?

[A]

Actually, yes. It was actually probably. That was probably the time where this first. You guys want to guess? I'm gonna tell you. You're never gonna guess. I'll give you fucking 40. I'll give you $100,000 each of you.

[C]

Guess you're turning the pickleball court into soccer field.

[A]

Okay. No.

[B]

Go planting palm trees in the backyard.

[A]

No.

[C]

Good guess.

[B]

Is this personal or business related?

[A]

Personal.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Are you back to finding a wife?

[A]

No, dude. No. Not doing that anymore.

[B]

All right?

[A]

I. And this is actually gonna probably steer people away from me having a wife.

[B]

Oh, God. What are you gonna say? Are you sure you wanna say this?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't have to be that honest.

[A]

I need to get it out, and I think it'll allow me to take a step in that direction. I want to be the guy that farts around people.

[B]

No. Ew.

[C]

Ew.

[B]

Don't say that.

[C]

You've been thinking about this for a whole year.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Because I've always been the shy to fart guy.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

And I just.

[B]

I feel it's gonna change your entire personality and being. I just. You can't do that.

[A]

And I just. I feel like I just want. And I want to do them on Natalie. I want to, like. I want him during funny moments.

[C]

Who are your heroes in that department? Who does do that? You don't. Zayn. Zayn will let him rip.

[B]

Zayn's the first person that comes to mind when I think about all of this.

[A]

Zayn will let him rip. And does it completely change everything about him? Yes.

[B]

It's so gross.

[A]

It's so incredibly gross. But I'm tired of fucking. Like, I'm tired of being on the couch and being. And looking around and being like, I've known these people my whole life, but for some reason, I'm holding something in right now. Do you know what I mean? Like, I just don't like that.

[C]

Right?

[B]

No. You're so cute and clean. Just, like, stay that way. Don't go dirty.

[A]

I can't, Natalie. I'm getting so much older. I just can't do it. Jay, what do you think about this? You see why I've been thinking about it for a while, right? It is a complete personality shift, if I'm being honest.

[C]

I'd love to do a weak trial.

[B]

Do you fart around, Naveen? Openly and audibly.

[C]

Never. And then one time in the middle of the night I farted and woke up and she definitely heard it, but she doesn't mention it.

[B]

She doesn't.

[A]

You guys don't acknowledge it with yourselves. Does she fart around around you?

[C]

I've never heard of fart.

[B]

Of course not.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Crazy. It's Naveen.

[A]

Yeah. I don't want to like, I don't want to like bring it into like any future relationships or anything. Like, I just.

[B]

You just want to fart on your friends?

[A]

Yeah. Like when I'm single, I would just rather do it.

[B]

That's disgusting.

[C]

Let's try it out. I'm down.

[B]

I heard David fart the other day for the first time in my life and.

[A]

And it was freeing.

[B]

Was it?

[A]

No. I was pretty embarrassed.

[B]

Yeah, David was so embarrassed, actually I like heard it. I didn't believe that it was actually real. And so then I immediately recorded because I was like, this just farted and he's never farted in front of me in his life and we spent a lot of very close. Like this is actually shocking that he's never farted and he was so embarrassed he like wouldn't even admit that he just farted.

[C]

Yeah, I didn't.

[A]

And then she dead asked me. I'm like, yeah, dead ass sucks, bro.

[C]

You started it.

[A]

I know.

[C]

It's I hate your dead ass rule because you know when it sucks is when you're. You're got a good bit going and you're fooling somebody. Like I was fooling somebody the other night at camping and they go d us.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Zayn hates when we dead ass. Zay gets so mad. Yeah, like I'll deadass it but Zane will lie about the stupidest shit. It's not even funny. I'm just like, I need to know. It's like, are you being serious? Like, did Jason actually like die?

[C]

Right?

[A]

And I'd be like deadass and be like, fuck you, dude. Fuck that word.

[C]

Fuck you.

[A]

And I'll be like, first of all, I don't even really know if you respect the word dead ass. You could totally lie on it if you want. I don't care. It's just me, Ilya and like Natalie. I expect my roommates to abide by that law. So he's fine. He doesn't have to get so angry about it. But yeah, he doesn't like it.

[C]

Is this a tornado? It's such a difference from today than yesterday in here. It's like so calm in here. And then yesterday was so crazy.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Yes. Yesterday was.

[B]

There was like 18 DEFCON. What is it? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. DEFCON 5?

[A]

No, I think it's 1. One's the most dangerous.

[C]

One's the most dangerous.

[A]

I don't know. Actually, you may be right. DEFCON 5.

[B]

There was so many. DEFCON.

[A]

No, DEFCON 1, I think, is most dangerous.

[B]

I think it's one too. I think, I think, I think.

[A]

Yeah. I had a crash out yesterday.

[B]

Yeah. Steven had a legitimate crash out yesterday.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, to the point where I would. I wanted to, like, I mean, you.

[B]

Know, he was like, I have to reevaluate my entire career.

[A]

No, I had. Oh, God, here we go.

[C]

He had like, he had six people come in and watch the blog. First I watched it. I was like, this is great. And then. No, it's not. It's not funny. It's like, I don't even know. Nothing's funny. And then Ilya came in, he was like, this is great. And he was like, no, it's not.

[A]

Yeah, I couldn't. I didn't know. Okay, so here's the thing. So there's a moment in the vlog.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That was. We all went camping.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And it's really fucking with me because I'm watching it back and I'm like, this is funny, but am I really. I'm really good at watching bits.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And knowing if it's just funny for me. Like, I never look at a bit. It's just funny for Dave. Like, I never look at that. I'm like, is this funny for, like, general people? But for some reason with this camping bit, I could not figure out whether or not it was funny. And I was like, is it because we know the lore of Bella and Ilya. Ilya didn't go to the wedding. Like, this is all a behind the scenes thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, Bella used to work for Ilya. Then they. They parted ways business wise. And then Ilya didn't go to the wedding for whatever. Ilya's personal reason is not going to the wedding. I don't. I don't actually really know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I just. So he didn't go to the wedding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that. That, that upset Bella and Bell's really vocal about it. Like, and that was. And if you watch the vlog, we all got high and Bella around a.

[B]

Campfire in the middle of the second.

[A]

We got high, like, probably the second it hit. Bella first of all, kept asking us to play truth or dare. And Ilya has this Other joke, I cut so much out of that camping thing. That camping thing was so funny.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a lot like, it's a full eight minute vlog. There's a lot more that I cut out. It was really, really funny. And Belle's like, let's play truth through dare. Let's play truth or dare. And I'm just like, okay, okay. We're like, all taken here. Like, truth or dare is like a game you kind of play, like, with, like, singles that are, like, kind of trying to hook up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, Alia said this really funny thing. He's just like, yeah, and truth. Truth or dare sucks. Like, unless you're trying to hook up and truth just by itself is fucking whack. It should just be dare. It should be dare or dare, which is a really fun.

[C]

I dare you to fuck me.

[A]

Yeah, I dare you to fuck me.

[C]

That's what you said.

[A]

Yeah, that was like. That's like, that's. That's the only thing. That's the only thing that made sense. So I was like. And at this point, I obviously know. I'm like, okay, but I know what you're trying to do here. But, like, I was like.

[B]

I wasn't even picking up on what she was throwing out at all. I was like, why does she care? Why does she want to play this fun game?

[A]

Oh, it was so obvious. I was like, oh, she just wants to ask Ilya. This was her moment to interact with him. And then she said, let's just play. Can we just play truths? Which is just truth or truth? And I was like, okay. So I bit. I bit into it. I was, okay, fine, Bella, what do you want to know? It's obviously about Ilya. And then she asked Ilya, why does Ilya hate me? And then that went on for the remainder of the night. Like, full three hours. We're all high, and Bella does not let it go. And Ilya's just taking it like a good boy. Ilya's just sitting there. Bella's like, what the fuck? Did you not go to my wedding?

[C]

You.

[A]

It's really funny. And the rest of us are just kind of like. Like, Bella's. Bella. Like, is she upset?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I couldn't tell either because she would be like, fuck you. I can't believe we're doing this.

[A]

She's upset, but also drunk. So she's just, like, kind of joking around and then she's kidding.

[B]

Give him a hug.

[A]

Yeah, I cut out all this. She would, like, give him a Hug. It was like. Remember? It was like 50. 50. She would, like, one second she'd be mad, and the next she'd be like, it's okay. And then she'd hug him.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we're like, what the fuck is going on? Anyway, So I thought it was obviously hilarious because I was high.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't really get high ever. So I think that's what was, like, fucking tripping me out. Okay. So that was making me really angry when I was editing. I was like, do I only like this bit? Because, one, we were high. And two, because I know the lore of Bella and Ilya. And that's.

[C]

Right.

[A]

That's why I think this is so funny, because it's like she chose literally the worst time ever to confront him. And everybody I showed the vlog to was like, this is fucking hilarious. This is the best part. And I was like. For some reason, I just never believed anybody. And I kept thinking, like, everyone's fucking lying to me. And I was like, having a crash out. And then right before that, too, I had Georgia come, Giorgia Hazarotti, to film a bit with me last minute. And it's this bit, believe it or not, I've shot nine different times. I've shot with Olivia Jade. I shot it with Georgia. I've shot in Washington, dc. I've shot it so many different ways. And it's me trying to. Thank God in Bangkok. It's me trying to eat a Big Mac in under 20 seconds. And I got a fun intro with Georgia, and I was like, this is my moment. But unfortunately, I had a big meal before, so the food wouldn't go down. I had chipotle and Joe ordered me some chicken place. And then this is, like, so crazy that this is what led to my crash out. But I ate this Big Mac and I ate it really slowly. It took me 35 seconds. So the bit was not usable. It was fucking trash.

[B]

Very disappointing.

[A]

And I felt like shit for the rest of the day because I just pounded down this Big Mac. I didn't even enjoy it.

[C]

Why is the bit not usable at 35 seconds? That's just not to your standard in terms of time.

[B]

It's just not as impressive as, like, under 20 seconds.

[A]

Under 20 seconds of big Mac is, like, pretty impressive in Bangkok.

[C]

Didn't you do 19?

[A]

No, I did 20.11.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

So I did 20.11. So I was right there.

[C]

What was different about Bangkok than yesterday?

[B]

I was starving. He was just in Bangkok.

[A]

I was hungry. No, no, No, I could have knocked it down in 20 seconds yesterday. I think it was. Once it got in my mouth, I could swallow it because my gag reflex was pushing it up. Cause I was so full.

[C]

Yeah. You said there's, like a little man in there.

[A]

Yeah. I felt like a little man was pushing it back in my throat. So me feeling like shit, not getting my time, feeling like I just wasted this great bit that could have happened with Georgia. Cause we were in such good spirits. Georgia's so funny. Sure. I was just so angry about everything that I just had, like, crash out. I was like, why am I doing this? Like, I failed this fucking Big Mac challenge. I don't even know if this is funny anymore. I was losing my shit. I literally was like, that's why the vlog was late by a day.

[B]

Well, you were like, I don't know if anything's funny. I don't know if I'm funny.

[A]

Yeah. I literally was gonna get in my car and drive towards the east coast. That's what I kept thinking in my head. I'm like, I'm gonna drive towards the east because I can't go west. Because I'll just hit the ocean and.

[C]

Fart the whole way.

[A]

Well, yeah. Fart out loud.

[C]

No wonder you want to fart out loud. No, no, no. Dropping big necks left and right.

[A]

No, I was like. I was eating a lot of protein. So that's why this started a year ago. Cause I was like, I gotta just. I gotta just fart anyway. So I was like, I'm just gonna drive as fast as I can. I don't care what happens. I'm gonna go towards the east Coast. That's my. That was my crash out. And then I just took a nap and I woke up and you and Ferris rearranged some things in the vlog. And it made me happy.

[C]

Right. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I was outside with Ferris and I was like, why don't we take a shot at it? He's like, no, Jason, no. He's not gonna like it. And I was like. I'm like, just, let's try. We'll try and.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Can I say. Can I. Yeah, sorry. I need to explain why I had a crash out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And why I was saying I'm no longer. I couldn't find. I couldn't figure out what was funny.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I no longer have balls when it comes to editing. And I feel like I used to have it because I was posting so frequently. So I was doing three weeks. So I would take a bit and quite Literally throw out everything except eight seconds and then move on to the next bit. But now I'm watching the camping bit, and it was six minutes. When I edited it down, it was like three hours of footage. I edited on to six minutes. And I, for the life of me, could not cut things out because I was like, I love this so much. It wasn't necessarily that. It wasn't. I wasn't saying it's not funny. I just genuinely couldn't find the courage to cut out more from it like I normally would be. And, like, that's what made the vlogs fun, is I just. I had. I had so much courage to cut out whatever. And I was like, next segment, next segment, next segment. And like, now when we film, for some reason, I like, like keeping things fat. I just like keeping it longer. And I'm, like, going against the grain of what I normally would do when editing videos, right. And I'm letting things breathe a little bit more. And, like, for some reason I'm like, I kind of want to do that, but I also, like, want to stick to my roots of making a video so. So quick and digestible that it gets done in four minutes.

[C]

Yeah, but there's gotta be a. There's gotta be a life for those things that you cut out.

[A]

Yeah, no, for sure. No, no.

[C]

And even if you put them on TikTok, like, if you put. Make. Take all those bits and put them on TikTok from camping, like, they're so funny.

[A]

No, I know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you ever, like, talk yourself into, like. Like a terrible situation where you're like, you think someone's trying to kill you?

[B]

Have you ever.

[C]

Have you ever done that?

[B]

Oh, to kill me?

[C]

No, I did it last night. I got home, there was an Audi parked outside my door, and it was running and it was tinted. I couldn't see anybody inside. It was like 6:30. I was like, okay, cool. Then I go inside, have dinner with Charlie. Then she's like, I need Advil. I have a headache. I'm like, okay, let me go run and get you some Advil. I go outside, the car's still running, and it's tinted windows. Like, I can't see in this fucking car. So I was like, damn. I was like, somebody trying to kill me. Whatever. So I start to go to cvs and I was like. And then I see, like, another car on the street. And then the same car passes me again. So now I'm like, thinking, oh, my God, like, something's going on. So I go back to My house.

[A]

That's not the Audi, though.

[C]

No. It's another car that loops in my neighborhood and does a complete loop. So I see the person twice.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Cause I'm kind of waiting to see what the Audi's doing before I leave Charlie alone. Then I get completely freaked out. I go right back at my house. I'm like, I'm not leaving Charlie in there alone. I was like, lock the gate. And I keep opening the door. The Audi's there. The Audi's there. The Audi's there. Then we had ordered food, and then the food comes, and then a Russian guy comes up with the food. Oh, no, the Russian. No. The Advil comes.

[A]

Did you smoke? What the fuck?

[C]

I didn't smoke. I postmated the Advil Cause I didn't want to leave Charlie alone. Then he comes up and he goes.

[A]

Wait, I'm so sorry. So you never ended up going to the cvs?

[C]

I didn't go to cvs. I postmated the ad for Charlie, which I never do. And the guy came up and he was like. He was like, hello. And I was like, hey. I was like, hi. And he goes, how are you feeling? Like that? And I go, I'm okay.

[A]

Well, you ordered Advil.

[C]

Yeah, but why is the postmate asking me? And the Audi's right there running. He's like, how are you feeling? Like, a postmate doesn't say that. They don't say, how are you feeling? They don't say. They don't say, oh, do you have a cold? If they get you Mucinex.

[A]

He must have, like, eaten something, bro.

[C]

I didn't eat anything. I'm not high. I don't smoke. And then. And I go, I'm okay, I'm okay. And he goes, okay. And he goes, all right. And this is what he says. He goes. He goes, I don't know if his English is bad. He goes, I hope you get the girls.

[B]

What?

[C]

He goes, I hope you get the girls. Like. And I was like, what? I'm like, what? I don't know if he doesn't know English. So now I'm, like, fucking freaked out. I just talked myself into something.

[A]

I hope you get the girls. Still sound like it could be like a hundred different things, though. Like, what?

[C]

What does that mean to you?

[A]

No, like, even the way you said it, I'm just like. I can't actually make out what you're saying.

[C]

I hope you get the girls is what he's saying.

[A]

No, I know, but Obi could do. Girls could be Obiju. Could get ashore.

[B]

Yeah, maybe he was the same.

[A]

Yeah, it just sounds like a lot of different things.

[C]

No, he said, I hope you get the girls.

[A]

I think you're fine, Jay.

[C]

Anyways, so then I wake up this morning and I was like, man, that was wild with the. Oh. And I called the police. I was on the phone with the police for like 10 minutes and what? Yeah, I called Night Charles. I call 911 and I was like, okay. I called 91 1.

[B]

He's so crazy.

[C]

I freaked out.

[A]

Jason has like serious issues.

[C]

I didn't get through to the police.

[A]

He can't hear us right now.

[B]

We muted him.

[A]

Anyways, he's a fucking weirdo.

[C]

And so I'm calling the police. Are you saying something?

[A]

No.

[C]

And. And I didn't get through to the police. They wouldn't come, obviously. I never.

[B]

Yeah, because there was no threat.

[C]

I was just on hold.

[A]

They were like, sir, they. There's a man with tinted. That is like the worst call you can make to police here in la. There's a man outside, maybe in a car, cuz it has scented windows. That is the last thing an LA police officer walks in.

[C]

I did talk to one person and I was like, I know this is crazy. I'm like, I'm just saying, I know you guys are busy, but there's a guy out front of my house, blah, blah, blah. So then I hung the phone up on the police. Obviously they never sent anybody.

[A]

That's amazing, LA police. Oh my God.

[C]

And then I woke up this morning and I went outside and the window was open of the Audi and the car's off and I was like, oh my God, did somebody fucking smash this guy? Smash the window? Like, what's going on? So I walk out, there's a guy asleep in the car. And I just come over and I'm just like, hey, are you okay? Like that. And he goes, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, he goes, I own the house down the street. He goes, I'm just waiting for the cement guy. And I go, you've been here since last night? You've been here since like 6 o' clock last night. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I own the house. I was $4 down. You own the house that had the fire. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I don't know that. I'm like, what? I know everything going on on the street. And then he's like, yeah. He goes, I'm just waiting on the cement guy. And I go, okay. All Right, no worries. He goes, my name's Arthur. I go, okay, Arthur. And then he goes. And then he goes, yeah. You know, I park up here on the hill because the brakes on the Audi can't be on the flat while it's running. I go, what? I go, that doesn't make any sense.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

So it's just. I don't know. And I just thought maybe he's like.

[B]

A PI Looks, you know, looking for someone. Yeah, Watching.

[C]

Then I thought, oh, are everybody, like, poorly intentioned? Like, is everybody bad? You know what I mean?

[A]

Okay, that's a little suspicious.

[B]

I mean, that is suspicious for sure. I wouldn't think that he's, like, out for you, though.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like it's too.

[C]

I don't think he's out for me either.

[B]

But still, like, he's definitely watching somebody on the street. For sure.

[C]

It was a nice outing. Like, really nice.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That makes a big difference.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Does it?

[B]

Oh, I was thinking was like a 2003 beat up Audi.

[A]

That was just like, 2003.

[C]

What? I think. I think I'm watching, like 20 years old. I'm watching too many dogs over 20 years old, David.

[A]

Oh, okay. I guess it is.

[C]

What? No, no one said 2003. It was like a 20, 25.

[B]

No, I know it. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Dilly Dan. Steely Dan.

[A]

Well, Jay, I'm glad you're here with us now.

[C]

I'm so safe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Is he still there? Can we get them on the pod? All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast, you guys, for listening. Thank you, Jason, for joining us. Go listen to this podcast. All good things. Thank you, Natalie. She's the best. And we will see you guys for the next one.