Sleeping With My Horny Friend

Summary

Podcast Summary: VIEWS with David Dobrik & Jason Nash – Episode: "Sleeping With My Horny Friend"

Release Date: April 29, 2025

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1. Opening Shenanigans: Natalie’s Not-So-Quiet Night

The episode kicks off with a humorous and candid discussion about Natalie’s recent romantic escapades. David Dobrik eagerly announces:

David [01:09]: "Natalie had sex with the biggest dick of her life."

Natalie quickly interjects to refute his exaggerated claim:

Natalie [01:11]: "No, no, no. That's not what we're fucking opening the podcast with."

The hosts and Natalie engage in playful banter about the size of Natalie’s new partner, ultimately revealing he stands an impressive six feet eight inches tall—a height that sparks both awe and laughter.

David [01:35]: "I set her up with a really cool guy. Dude is like six foot, fucking eight."

The conversation delves into the humorous implications of such a tall partner, with Jason Nash adding his own comedic twists.

2. Deep Thoughts: Heaven and Historical Perspectives

Transitioning from personal anecdotes, David shares a contemplative segment about the concept of heaven and the intriguing possibility of reliving historical moments from others' perspectives.

David [07:11]: "How cool would it be if you're in heaven and you can play back any moment from any time, from anybody's perspective?"

He muses about witnessing pivotal historical events firsthand, such as President George Bush’s reaction during 9/11 or John F. Kennedy’s morning before his assassination.

David [08:10]: "Maybe that's what you would use it for. Well, you wouldn't be like, what was Hitler's perspective on whatever the fuck he was doing."

Jason and Natalie contribute their thoughts, reflecting on understanding others' viewpoints and the value of such experiences.

3. Reflections on Ambition and Growing Up

David opens up about his struggles with maintaining ambition, expressing nostalgia for his younger, more driven self.

David [10:02]: "I miss being a kid and just like wanting something so bad. When you're a kid, you think you're invincible."

Jason relates by sharing his own experiences of burnout and the challenges of sustaining creativity over time.

The duo discusses the importance of fostering ambition in their children, emphasizing the need to support and not derail young dreams.

David [11:37]: "I really hope I give him all the leverage in being able to do that... I never want to derail a person. That's delusional."

4. Reggie's Coming Out Story: Embracing Identity

A heartfelt segment features Reggie, a longtime friend, sharing his journey of coming out as gay. David and Jason reminisce about their early interactions with Reggie, highlighting moments that led to their realization of his sexuality.

Reggie [27:05]: "I came out to him at Korean barbecue. It was just me and him."

Reggie recounts the challenges and relief of openly embracing his identity, providing an authentic perspective on the experience.

5. The “Gay” Conversation: Language and Respect

The hosts engage in a candid discussion about the use of the word “gay” in everyday language, exploring its evolution from a neutral term to often being used pejoratively.

David [29:17]: "Stop being like, that's gay. Like, stop using that to describe that."

Reggie emphasizes the importance of context, distinguishing between positive and negative usages.

Reggie [30:23]: "Don't use it in a bad form of gay."

Natalie joins in, advocating for respectful language and understanding the impact words can have on the LGBTQ+ community.

6. Reggie’s OnlyFans Experience: Navigating Online Platforms

Reggie shares his experiences managing an OnlyFans account, detailing unusual content requests and the challenges of maintaining authenticity.

Reggie [38:18]: "One person requested me working a video show of me working out and then taking off my socks and then jacking myself off."

The conversation highlights the humorous and sometimes bizarre nature of online content creation, with David and Jason adding their comedic insights.

7. Listener Q&A: Addressing Family Romance

A listener’s distressing message about an inappropriate romantic interest from a cousin is addressed with a mix of humor and serious advice.

Natalie [40:05]: "I obviously want to fuck him and sit on his face. Okay, from now on. So from now on, every time I read one of these, I'm gonna add a sentence that's not real."

David and Jason advise setting firm boundaries and seeking family support to handle such sensitive situations.

Jason [41:23]: "You have to stop this. And that's it."

8. Closing Banter: Levitation and Future Episodes

The episode wraps up with lighthearted banter about David’s attempts at levitation and out-of-body experiences, blending humor with their characteristic dynamic.

David [43:25]: "I'm just trying to leave my body there."

Jason [43:28]: "We can have red teeth."

They tease future episodes while maintaining the playful and engaging tone that characterizes VIEWS.

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Notable Quotes:

• David [07:11]: "How cool would it be if you're in heaven and you can play back any moment from any time, from anybody's perspective?"

• David [10:02]: "I miss being a kid and just like wanting something so bad."

• Reggie [27:05]: "I came out to him at Korean barbecue. It was just me and him."

• David [29:17]: "Stop being like, that's gay. Like, stop using that to describe that."

• Reggie [38:18]: "One person requested me working a video show of me working out and then taking off my socks and then jacking myself off."

• Jason [41:23]: "You have to stop this. And that's it."

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Key Takeaways:

• Authentic Conversations: The hosts maintain a balance between humor and genuine discussions, providing listeners with both entertainment and meaningful insights.

• Personal Stories: Sharing personal experiences, such as Natalie’s hookup and Reggie’s coming out, adds depth and relatability to the podcast.

• Social Commentary: Addressing topics like the use of “gay” in language and navigating online platforms reflects their engagement with contemporary social issues.

• Listener Engagement: Handling listener questions with a mix of humor and advice showcases their commitment to connecting with their audience.

Conclusion:
"Sleeping With My Horny Friend" exemplifies the dynamic interplay between David Dobrik and Jason Nash, offering a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions. Whether tackling sensitive topics or engaging in playful banter, this episode of VIEWS provides a comprehensive and entertaining listen for both regular followers and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[David]

Hey there. I'm David Harbour from Marvel Studios Thunderbolts. I don't mean to interrupt your favorite podcast. Well, actually, maybe I do just a little bit, but I have a good reason. My new film hits theaters Friday, May 2, and it's got everything. Action, suspense, humor, heart, and Bob. Who's Bob? Find out by getting tickets now. Okay, now back to the show or onto the next ad. This episode is brought to you by max. Presenting HBO original comedy special, Bret Goldstein. Second best night of your life. Emmy winning actor, writer and comedian Brett Goldstein brings his irresistible charm and quick wit stateside for his first ever HBO stand up special. Goldstein sheds his testy Roy kid facade to share his hilarious insights on love, sex, masculinity and more. Brett Goldstein, the second best night of your life. Now streaming exclusively on Max. What's up, guys? Welcome back to View. We are in good spirits this week. Guess what?

[Jason]

What?

[David]

Natalie.

[Natalie]

No, no, no. That's not what we're fucking opening the podcast with.

[David]

I'm not waiting any longer.

[Jason]

No, if he says it later, I'll just edit it and put it up front.

[David]

Natalie had sex with the biggest dick of her life. Stop, stop, stop.

[Natalie]

It's not true.

[David]

Not true. It's not the biggest of your life.

[Natalie]

For everybody that's listening, he's a. I.

[David]

Hooked up Natalie with a guy.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God. I knew he was gonna come on here this week and be.

[David]

I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I set her up with a. With a really cool guy. Dude is like six foot, fucking eight.

[Jason]

Oh, six.

[David]

I'm not kidding. Well, how. What's his actual height?

[Natalie]

Yeah, he's six. Eight.

[David]

Six fucking eight.

[Natalie]

Yeah, he's right.

[David]

The height of Chewbacca. Do you understand?

[Jason]

I don't if I can continue. No, today.

[David]

Oh, my God.

[Jason]

How have you been getting by all day knowing that?

[David]

I don't know. I've been holding it. It was so funny. I was so. You know how my house has like two living rooms? Slight flex. I was in living room one, Ilya was in living room two, and it was the day after.

[Jason]

And the guy's dong went from living room one to living room two.

[David]

Yeah. Such from the fridge to the couch. So I was. Yeah, I was in living room one and I was talking to Natalie, getting the debrief. I talked to Natalie about this guy's penis for a good 15 minutes.

[Natalie]

This is so embarrassing.

[David]

And I was like, just tell me how big it is. Like, just explain it to me. And she goes, she goes, david, no.

[Natalie]

We'Re not doing this right now. We can't do that. Why don't you fucking tell everybody? Exactly, we're not doing that.

[Jason]

Natalie and David are getting laid this week on the pod.

[David]

That's crazy.

[Jason]

I love it. Go, Dave.

[David]

I can't talk.

[Jason]

Hey, Dave, high five.

[Natalie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jason]

High five, man.

[David]

Why can't we talk about.

[Natalie]

I don't want. I don't want, like someone to send this to him or something. And then we're just like.

[David]

And you're fucking.

[Natalie]

And then I'm going to. Oh, my God. Friends being like, hey, look at this guy's dick. Or whatever, you know, you're our best.

[David]

Friend, obviously, I even asked that. I'm like, now, is there at some point we could see his dick? Like, have you gotten close to him? We're like, at one point. Because, I mean, this man.

[Natalie]

Crazy.

[David]

This. I mean, the first thing I woke up, I'm very hungover. It's like 9am and there's one chat in our group chat and it's familia and he's like, how big was the penis? We were all thinking it because we couldn't imagine. We couldn't imagine this guy's penis.

[Jason]

Sure.

[David]

And. And I'm talking to Natalie about it and I'm like, so how big is it? And she makes a comment about the size. And I just hear Ilya from the other living room go, what the fuck?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

He just could not contain himself. Like, Ilya loves these conversations so much.

[Jason]

You have an inch. You have a measurement for me or.

[David]

She said she couldn't wrap her hand around it. Her hand could. Her fingers couldn't touch the other finger.

[Jason]

That's where you get in trouble. It's the girth that'll bother you more than the length.

[David]

Didn't bother her. Didn't bother. Didn't bother my girl Natalie.

[Natalie]

I'm just going to remove myself from this conversation.

[Jason]

She's a champ.

[David]

Yeah, you're a champ.

[Natalie]

She's a champ.

[David]

Congratulations, by the way. Because all day she was manifesting it. She's like, I got to get laid tonight. I got to get laid tonight. And it wasn't like a desperate lay at all.

[Natalie]

It was, yeah, honestly, like the perfect scenario.

[David]

Yeah, it was like literally such a sweet guy, Great, great looking. It was literally best case scenario for.

[Jason]

Like a, like a, like a beer can or like a mini Diet Coke. No, like a, a mini Diet Coke would be really, really big.

[Natalie]

A mini Diet Coke.

[Jason]

Have you ever had a mini Diet Coke in terms of girth?

[David]

No, my brother.

[Natalie]

No. It's like a beer can.

[Jason]

Oh, like, like a beer can?

[David]

No, no, no, no. It's like a regular Diet Coke.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Reggie]

Like a what?

[David]

Yeah, Jay, did you not hear me describe it? She could. In girth, Jay. She couldn't wrap her fingers around it. You dumb fuck.

[Jason]

No, I gave it. There's nobody that's that big, Jay.

[David]

This, Dave.

[Jason]

I'm doing it.

[Natalie]

My hand is smaller than yours. But yes, it was like, you know, like this.

[David]

There's no video right now, but Natalie's cupping her hands in a circle and Jason is approaching.

[Jason]

That's got big hands.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

A beer can. A beer can is big.

[David]

I know.

[Jason]

I've never heard of that.

[David]

No, this is a.

[Jason]

And I've watched lots of movies.

[David]

No, I mean, Natalie couldn't believe it.

[Jason]

Wow. Well, good, good, good. I'm glad.

[David]

I don't want to get into the dirty aspects of Natalie life.

[Natalie]

I don't need people picturing what I was doing. That's where I, like, draw the line, you know?

[David]

Okay. Yeah. So I won't get into, like, the positions she talked about with me, I won't get into.

[Natalie]

And the fact that I relate it to you is like, I know you're my, like, best friend, but.

[David]

Oh, that you related to me. Yeah.

[Natalie]

Like, I'm not. I don't want to be like a kiss and tell sort of person, you know?

[David]

Okay. If you're not sharing your hookups with your friends, there's something wrong. Everybody.

[Natalie]

There's something about sharing it with you that's like, different.

[David]

What? Why?

[Jason]

Because you have a podcast?

[Natalie]

Yeah, because we're on.

[Jason]

That's the difference.

[David]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Because we're talking about it right now.

[David]

Okay. Regardless, I just want to start the pod out with how proud I am of Natalie.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Natalie]

Thank you.

[David]

Taking that big fucking three foot fucking monster. No. Okay. I do have a lot of thoughts. To start out this podcast of a bunch of different things. I just had this discovery yesterday, and I can't believe it's just come to me. You know when like, a kid is being fed food and they go, here comes the train.

[Jason]

Mm.

[David]

Do they say that because once it enters your mouth, you have to choo choo?

[Jason]

Yes.

[David]

Really?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

What?

[Jason]

Yeah, Choo choo.

[David]

Wait, what?

[Natalie]

Is that real?

[David]

Are you being serious, Jay? Are you being serious?

[Jason]

Choo choo. Because you're about to chew the food.

[David]

No fucking way.

[Natalie]

Wow. I never knew that.

[David]

I literally just had that thought on my own. There's no way I'm gonna make a TikTok about this because I feel like. I feel like no one's thought about this.

[Natalie]

No, I don't think so.

[David]

No, Jay, that's like. That must be, like, a fact. That feels like lore hidden behind the saying. That's been for, like, 15, 20 years.

[Jason]

Well, what about an airplane?

[David]

Here comes the airplane. Turbulence. Turbulence.

[Jason]

Yeah. It doesn't work. No, it's not the same.

[Natalie]

I don't think it has to do with Choo Choo. I mean, I think that was, like, a nice coincidence.

[David]

Okay. Right. I think it's.

[Jason]

Well, it's like you put the food in.

[David]

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Jason]

That's what I thought.

[David]

So that's my first thought. My next thought is this would also be really. I have a couple thoughts, guys, so.

[Jason]

We'Ll sit back and enjoy.

[David]

These are big, big, big thoughts. I was thinking, how cool would it be if you're in heaven? Yeah, right? And I feel like this is totally plausible. Like, whatever heaven is, I feel like you'll have access to a lot of things. How amazing would it be if once you die, you can play back any moment from any time, from anybody's perspective? Because I recently just saw pictures of George Bush getting the news that a plane has at the tower during 9 11. And it's just pictures of him in, like, a kindergarten classroom reading a book. And I'm like, could you imagine being in that room and the next 24 hours of what that whole, like, presidential, like, sphere of people's doing.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, the vice president going to panic room. Like, they had to debrief in a different classroom. The president, because they were in a school and they didn't have anywhere to meet, so they just went into another classroom to be like, okay, what's our plan of attack here now that the United States is under attack?

[Jason]

So.

[David]

But just, like, imagine, like, you're in heaven and you're like, okay, I want to see the morning that JFK woke up before he got assassinated, or Abe Lincoln or. And you could just like, dial back. How cool would that be?

[Natalie]

The truth behind everything?

[Jason]

I'd love to know, like, people that. That were mad at me. I would love to see their perspective.

[David]

Okay.

[Jason]

Yeah, right? You never thought about that? You ever have, like, a. You don't talk to somebody anymore, and you're like, that person's an asshole. And then you think about it and you're like, well, what the fuck were they thinking?

[David]

Yeah, but you're using it in, like.

[Jason]

You said, other person's perspective.

[David]

Yeah, well, I mean it more like historically.

[Jason]

You're, like, historically Up. You really weren't like, I can't use it. Personally, I'm not allowed. Only for historical.

[Natalie]

You can, but, like, you get one wish and you just want to go back to your haters.

[David]

You're telling me you're going to die, you're going to be in heaven. You're going to be like, I wonder what Judy Garland thought of me in the fourth grade.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

Maybe that's what you would use it for. Well, you wouldn't be like, what was Hitler's perspective on whatever the fuck he was doing?

[Jason]

We know what Hitler's perspective was.

[David]

No, I know, but, like, how did he die? To die. How did he get there? Like, I want to be like, if you could AI anything in heaven, I'd be like, show me all of the moments where Hitler started to build up this, like, animosity towards this group of people. Show me everything.

[Jason]

He was a failed painter. And then he got pissed.

[David]

Yeah. It was just, like, one moment. I think so. So he was a waiter and he just didn't get a good enough tip from somebody.

[Jason]

They say that's the moment that Obama roasted Trump. That Trump, like, was like, fuck this, I'm going to be president.

[David]

Oh, really?

[Jason]

Documented that. Yeah.

[David]

Oh, yeah. When he's. When Obama's on Kimmel.

[Jason]

No, Obama was doing the Correspondents Dinner and he fucking eviscerated Trump. And Trump sat there and had to take it. And they say that that was the moment that Trump's like, I'm going to show you. I'm going to be president. Damn, that crazy.

[David]

Those are my favorite moments of, like, anybody. I was watching Bohemian Rhapsody.

[Jason]

Oh, I love moments like that. Yes, yes, yes.

[David]

And it's like. And it was Freddie Mercury talking to his dad.

[Jason]

Yes. What was the moment? What had happened?

[David]

It was around the moment where Freddie legally changed his name to Freddie Mercury.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And it was like. It was basically. His dad was just like, you're not doing anything with your life. It was that situation.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

But Freddie just, like, completely disregarded that.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Because he was just like, I know exactly what I'm doing with my life.

[Jason]

Yeah. Kurt Cobain has the same thing.

[David]

I love those moments. Like, that is the best part of being young, dumb, and, like, bold.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Is like, I feel like people always. We've talked about this a couple times on the podcast, but I feel like. I feel like I've been having this problem where I'm so envious of me earlier in my days because I had this. I had, like, the blindest Dumbest ambition to get anything done.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And like, I feel like it's like catching lightning in a bottle. And like, now it's tougher for me to find that ambition because I'm so comfortable with where I'm at in life and I'm like, and I'm where I've always wanted to be and I'm so fucking grateful. But I do miss the conversations with friends where they're like, you can't move to LA and do this. When you're like, just looking at your friends like they're literally on crack, you're like, yeah, I can. It's exactly what I'm gonna do. And it's like, I don't know.

[Jason]

I went to dinner last night and the guy next to me was like, you guys used to make the best videos. Like, they were so good. Like, what's going on? Like, what happened? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I know it's over now. It was like, so sad. I was like, yeah, it's pretty boring now. He was like, oh. I was like, yeah, well, that happens, I guess.

[David]

Yeah. It's just really tough.

[Jason]

Takes any chance you guys would do it again. I'm like, no, I don't think so.

[David]

That's what I fear. When somebody asks me, when are the vlogs coming back? I'm like, probably never. Yeah, yeah, I do. But I say kind of in a jokey way, right? I mean, the vlogs can never ever come back. But like, when I make more videos, for sure, like here and there. Yeah, but. But they need to be like big moments in my life that I'm like, really excited about.

[Jason]

Mm.

[David]

That's what it's. But I don't want to get to that anyway. Like, I miss being. I just miss being a kid and just like wanting something so bad. And like, when you're a kid, you think you're invincible, right? Like, that is like the mindset of a child. Like, you can't get in trouble, you can't get hurt. Nothing bad can happen to you.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And I think there's no better time. Like, I really hope I keep this in mind as a parent when my kid tries to do some dumb or, like, stupid out there things. I really hope I give him all the leverage in being able to do that. Like, I really hope I'm not a fucking pussy dad. And I'm like, no, you can't do that. You'll get hurt. Or this, or this, or this. Like, whatever that kid fucking needs to do because he believes in himself. That Blind ambition, I think, will carry a person to the fucking ends of the planet. And further.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, I don't know. I think you should never derail a person. That's delusional. And 15, I think. I think those. I think those people are fucking destined for greatness.

[Jason]

I used to say crazy stuff when I was in my 20s.

[David]

Yeah, it's the fucking best.

[Jason]

I'd be like. I would tell my friends, I'm like, I'm beyond Saturday Night Live in, like, two years. And I would say it, and they'd be like, wow, that's. And my friends. My friends were so nice. They'd be like, yeah, you can do it. You can do it. Then I auditioned. I didn't get it.

[David]

You have the other side of the story. Then they were right.

[Jason]

They were wrong. Like, why didn't you tell me? I was so out of my mind. They like, well, you just were. You know.

[David]

You wish you had friends to derail you.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

Oh, damn, that's funny.

[Reggie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

I don't know.

[Jason]

It's wild. I do that with Wyatt. I, I. I tell him. I say crazy things to him. I've said it all his life.

[David]

Well, I hope you tell Wyatt that he can't make it.

[Jason]

No, no, I say the. I say the opposite. I'm too. I'm too.

[David]

You should go backwards on him.

[Jason]

No, no. I told him when he was 13 to drop out of school.

[Reggie]

I told you that.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I know, but that's so sick. Those are the best. Those are the best, best moments. I don't know. It's just, like, watching Rami Malek's interpretation of Freddie Mercury is just so fudgeing fun. I love, like, a fish out of water or I love stories where a person figures out who they are. Like, that is my favorite. That. That's like Moana. Moana. Have I talked about this? Every podcast for the last three weeks. Like, I just love, like, a life quest where you finally figure out what your purpose is.

[Jason]

I'm sorry, I don't. I've never seen Moana.

[David]

You got to see it. She's basically. She' Basically, she's an island princess who can't go beyond her, like, little reef. Yeah, but she's just like, no, I want to go fucking explore the ocean. And her parents are like, you can't do that. Don't do that. And then she connects with the ocean like nobody else, and she fucking explores the fuck out of it. Yeah, that's why she's the best. She's queen of the sea now.

[Jason]

What other good ones do you know?

[Natalie]

Like, that was the most, like, dude interpretation of Mohana.

[David]

Well, because I. Because I was trying.

[Natalie]

The queen of that.

[David]

No, I did that. I did that for a reason. I didn't want the dudes listening to be like, sure enough, he's soft like Moana's hot bitch from the ocean.

[Jason]

The others are there, like, good stories. Like, people that made it that were crazy.

[David]

I mean, I'm sure so many. I'm sure that's like. That's every story. Everybody's crazy. Well, like, everybody's crazy till it works.

[Jason]

Right?

[David]

Right. Like, you're fucking idiot, jackass, delusional, conceited.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, it's all of that until it actually starts to work. I think that's so fucking cool, Jay. You know cool. That moment is.

[Jason]

What moment?

[David]

Well, Freddie. Freddie was laying in bed with his girlfriend at the time or his wife, and he was like, I am exactly the person I've always meant to be, and I'm not afraid of anything. That's what he says to her, like, in the movie. And I thought that was so fucking cool. Like, achieving, like, what you need to become and what you wanted to become and then, like, being there and like, recognizing that you're there, I think is the coolest fucking thing.

[Jason]

Who do you admire?

[Natalie]

Who do I admire? If I had to, like, think of, like, a role model.

[Jason]

Yeah. David.

[David]

You could say me.

[Natalie]

It's David. I idolize him. No, this woman. Her name's Emma. Greedy. She. She started her.

[Jason]

Not a great word.

[David]

Sounds like Natalie or something.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Jason]

It's her alter ego.

[David]

Yeah. She completely made up this person just to justify her stealing money from me.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God.

[David]

I'm kidding. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Natalie]

Anyways, her and her husband started this. Started this company.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

And they started skims. Good American. Oh, they're the, like. They're the people. She's the woman actually behind those brands.

[David]

I'm sorry. We came at that pretty hard.

[Natalie]

She's pretty powerful.

[David]

Definitely an uplifting mom. Just shed on her within seconds of her speech.

[Jason]

That's why I asked.

[David]

Build her up to burn it back down. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's another one of my thoughts. 24 chefs, 24 culinary showdowns for 24 hours straight. Which chef will outcook, outpace, outlast the competition? No chef escapes the clock. All new 24 and 24. Last chef standing, Sunday night at eight. See it first on Food Network. Stream next day on Max. Hey there. Travelers. Kaley Cuoco.

[Jason]

Here.

[David]

Sorry to interrupt your music, great artist, BT Dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival, gig, rave, sound, bath or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today and you can save up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline.

[Reggie]

Go to your happy price, Priceline.

[David]

Speaking of Natalie, can I talk about this?

[Natalie]

Can you. Can it be nice? Let's make this one pleasant.

[David]

Oh, this one's not pleasant.

[Natalie]

Great.

[David]

This is actually where we gave you some trauma.

[Natalie]

Oh.

[David]

Are you ready to unpack this?

[Natalie]

I don't really not like trying to awaken the ptsd, so.

[David]

So, Nat, I'm about. I'm about to. I'm about to reveal one of Natalie's traumas. It's a very baby trauma she had. It was on our trip to South Africa. Do you know what I'm about to say?

[Natalie]

Yes. David has scarred me for life because of this.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Does it involve diarrhea or anything?

[David]

Close.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[David]

Natalie was peeing.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And we were sharing a tent and it was the loudest stream we've ever heard.

[Natalie]

We're in the middle of the safari. Have not used a bathroom all day.

[David]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

And my tent is filled with bugs and scorpions and all sorts of lizards and shit.

[David]

It was like a waterfall landing into a bucket. Jay.

[Natalie]

It was literally a hole. I was peeing into a hole.

[David]

She was peeing into a hole. It was. Ilya and I were sharing a room with her because we were scared of all the bugs. Natalie goes to pee. It is like almost ear shattering. Like you're at a Coachella pee festival. It is so fucking. It was so loud, Jay. I'm surprised the animals of the wild didn't come expecting a new water source to have sprung up in the middle of Africa. It was fucking insane. I've never heard anything like it. And Ilya looked at Alien and I looked at each other and we went, what the fuck? And Natalie, all of a sudden you just hear the pee stop. And she goes, what?

[Jason]

Is it possible that the hole created.

[Natalie]

Totally, like an echo?

[David]

Totally, totally the echo. Everything, everything was working against her there.

[Natalie]

And the fact that I had these two idiots on the other side of the wall.

[David]

Because ever since I bring this story up, because we were watching a movie yesterday and I went to go pee like, in the bathroom?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

And I tried to go for as loud as possible because some of my friends pee really loud. And then they always come back to them to finish the movie. And then I'm, like, looking around, I'm like, is that anybody getting knowledge how loud that pee was? But nobody does. So I'm like, I'm gonna try to pee as loud as I can right now, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm just gonna ask everybody if they heard me. So I come back, and I was like, did you guys hear me pee? And they're like, no, no. It's pretty quiet. And then. Then I got into Natalie having the biggest pee of all time in our friend group. So I'm just curious. I was just curious, like, do you think about that when people.

[Jason]

When people listen to me? Yeah, I think about a healthy stream. Y. Really important when you get older.

[David]

No, no. That's how I think about, like, it's really important.

[Jason]

It's really good now that you have a thick, healthy stream.

[Natalie]

I don't. I don't. I'm a lady. I don't know.

[Jason]

You should be. You should be proud of it, because in a lot of countries, like, that would be applauded.

[David]

Were you standing while you were peeing? How was it getting so much downward speed?

[Natalie]

I don't know. I don't know what I was doing, David. I wasn't analyzing it. Now, from that moment forward, I analyze every pee I take to ensure that it is quiet.

[David]

Really?

[Natalie]

Yes.

[David]

Because I wonder if it was the speed or the height it was coming out.

[Natalie]

It was the speed. It was the amount. It was the fact that I hadn't peed all. Yeah, it was a trauma pee because I was already traumatized about the safari tent thing.

[David]

You were definitely high enough where your pee reached terminal velocity on its way down. Because the speed at which it was.

[Jason]

You hire German scientists to recreate it.

[David]

This is insane.

[Jason]

I've not seen any type of twerk like this in all our days and all our research.

[David]

They leave the bathroom with Natalie. They're just shaking their hands like, we cannot study this any longer.

[Jason]

If we. If we get the trajectory correct, if we can properly recreate it, we will break the sound barrier.

[David]

Natalie solves the equation to space time. These are the coordinates we've been waiting for.

[Jason]

Thank God she is so robust and such a big, big human.

[David]

With these numbers and these calculations, we will be able to travel through time. Okay, sorry.

[Reggie]

All right.

[Natalie]

I'm embarrassed all over again.

[Jason]

I thought that was supposed to be nice story. No, none of that happened.

[David]

Okay. I have one more thought I had.

[Jason]

This is great.

[David]

You know what I'm getting pretty close to, though? Okay. Other than Natalie's peeing. You know what? I've been getting pretty close through, too.

[Jason]

So.

[David]

You know, like when you can. Like when you're a kid and you think you can move things with your mind.

[Jason]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David]

Have you had that experience?

[Jason]

I mean, I've never accomplished it.

[David]

I'm having one, but I think it's a little bit more of an adult feeling.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

So I think it's a little bit more realistic, but I think I'm on the verge of being able to leave my body and view it from. From an outwardly perspective.

[Natalie]

Dude, that's a mental disorder.

[David]

And every time I get close, I snap out of it. I feel like every time I'm a hairline away from breaking this wall, and then I realize that I'm doing it, and it puts me right back. I am, like, on the edge of my skin, I'm telling you. I don't know how to explain this.

[Jason]

Have you researched it?

[David]

No, I haven't looked it up. So I don't know. I don't know if this is a condition or if I'm.

[Jason]

Is this when you're asleep, like at night or. No, no. Afternoon nap?

[David]

No, no, this is just when I'm laying on the couch or laying in bed. Sometimes it'll be around sunset and I'll. And I'll think to myself, I'm gonna try to leave my body.

[Jason]

Sure.

[David]

And then I have to. I have to surrender that thought, put that thought into the back of my mind. And then I feel. It's kind of like my soul, like being in water, and I'm losing. And it's losing the feeling of gravity and it's kind of traveling upwards.

[Jason]

You're just associating.

[David]

Yes. And I'm trying to get it to the point where I'm floating above my body, kind of like Avatar in, like, his airbender state.

[Jason]

Call David Blaine. He'll tell you.

[David]

I don't think he's mastered this yet. I think he can.

[Jason]

I bet he has. It sounds pretty easy for David Blaine.

[David]

He's just like, david, what you're trying has never been done before. How close did you say you are? He thinks I'm so impressive. He's like, you're not doing this during sunset, are you? I'm like, yes, that's exactly what I'm doing.

[Jason]

David, we need you to disassociate we need you to levitate above Natalie's pee stream. It is the only way we will reach maximum velocity. Now, David. Now disassociate.

[David]

This is what I dream about. It's the same German scientists that are working on Natalie's pee are helping me disassociate.

[Jason]

Bring the giant dong over. Bring the beer can sized man.

[David]

Frame the six foot eight penis man. We will use the hair from his balls to connect the stream to the levitation.

[Reggie]

Well, I love that.

[David]

That was kind of like a Marvel movie. This podcast was kind of like a Marvel movie. And that was end game. That was all the Avengers coming together.

[Jason]

Incredible.

[David]

Yeah, everybody coming together. At the end. You had the big penis. You had Natalie's stream. He trying to levitate out of my own body. All came in at the end for the grand finale.

[Jason]

Man. No one does it like you, man.

[David]

Views. Okay, guys, we brought. This episode is brought to you by Amazon. Sometimes the most painful part of getting sick is the getting better part. Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy. That's painful. Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove those painful parts of getting better. With things like 247 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door. Thanks to Amazon Pharmacy and AmazonOne Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Jason]

This episode is brought to you by LifeLock.

[Reggie]

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[Jason]

In the U.S. fortunately, there's LifeLock.

[David]

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[Reggie]

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[Jason]

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[Reggie]

By visiting lifelock.com podcast terms apply.

[David]

And we brought in Reggie for this next segment. Reggie, introduce yourself.

[Reggie]

Hi, I'm Reggie.

[David]

Give him a little bit background of yourself.

[Reggie]

Grew up with David.

[David]

Grew up with David.

[Reggie]

So Reggie, Natalie.

[David]

Reggie is. Yeah, he worked for Natalie. Reggie's my roommate's brother. He's John's brother. Reggie for the long. Reggie, when did you come out? You came out in one of the vlogs and we got you.

[Reggie]

Yeah, it was Black Friday, I think it was.

[David]

That's how I remember the most Filipino moment to come out. Right after I got a good 32 inch LCD. I was feeling myself.

[Reggie]

John bought his TV that day.

[David]

Yeah, exactly. Resale value is gonna be high.

[Reggie]

Might as well come out 2018.

[David]

Yeah. So for the longest time growing up with Reggie, Reggie would be part of our sleepovers and we would always try to convince John. We're like, john, you know Reggie's gay. Right. And John would be like, no, dude, there's no way Reggie's gay. And this is like. This is like back in the day when, like, you still weren't, like, exposed to, like, that culture yet. Right. So, like, it was more rare now. Like, everybody's gay. Yeah.

[Reggie]

Like you.

[David]

Yeah. Like me. Yeah. So at the time, that's why it was rare, but we were like, yeah, Reggie's awfully gay. But one of the first moments I knew Reggie was gay. This isn't what this is about. But one of the first moments, one of my favorite moments with you, Reggie, was because we would always try to convince Reggie or John that you were gay. And there was one time we had a sleepover, and do you remember this? And you were sleeping next to me. You probably don't remember this.

[Reggie]

Yeah, I woke up with a boner, but it wasn't. David also had the juiciest ass in middle school.

[David]

It wasn't that you woke up with a boner. It was that I woke up with your boner, man.

[Reggie]

And where.

[David]

Well, we were having a sleepover and I woke up and I felt your penis on my leg. You were like, on my ass or somewhere. And I was like, oh, yeah, he's gay.

[Reggie]

I'm a changed person. I'm actually straight.

[Jason]

What'd you say when you found was.

[David]

Still connected to Reggie? I wasn't like, Reggie. Here it is.

[Jason]

Was it the morning? Was it the middle of the night?

[David]

It was like. It was like, probably like the sun had already been up, but it still wasn't time to wake up. You know, it's the morning. Was the exact time you get morning wood?

[Jason]

Sure.

[David]

Like, but. But like, yeah, it probably could have just been morning wood, but it was the way it was positioned on me, I was like, oh, yeah, she's gay. And I use that. I use that as a big part of my argument to tell John that I'm gay. Yeah.

[Reggie]

Oh, my God.

[Natalie]

Did John believe you or not?

[Reggie]

Not the makeup or not even, like, anything else.

[David]

Yeah.

[Reggie]

Reggie, the most fashionable gay guy ever in high school.

[David]

Yeah. There was. There was so many.

[Reggie]

It wasn't that one, right?

[David]

No, it also wasn't that you were the manager of the cheer team, right? I love how all happened. And John was like, no, no, he's not.

[Jason]

He's not gay.

[David]

That's really funny. Yeah.

[Reggie]

So I told him. I told you. I. I came out to him at K barbecue. It was just Me and him.

[David]

Wait, wait, wait. Okay, well, maybe you told me, but this is. Wait, I can't im. Cuz I remember John handling, like, any kind of news that's, like, somewhat serious.

[Reggie]

I know.

[David]

He.

[Reggie]

He was like. He was questioning. He's like, what?

[David]

Wait, what? Korean barbecue back home?

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[David]

Okay.

[Reggie]

And then how did you say it? I was like, did you take him.

[David]

To Korean barbecue just because you knew he loved it? And it would, like, soften the blow on any pasta, obviously.

[Reggie]

Yeah, I paid for it, too, so it was like a nice treat for him. So it was like, okay, I'll take it easy on him.

[David]

John, you want the good news? Good news is I paid for it. Bad news is you were wrong about me. I'm gay. Well, okay, yeah. So how did you say it?

[Reggie]

I kind of was just like, john, I said, I think I'm gay, but I already knew I was gay.

[David]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what did he say? Was he like, no, no, Reggie, you're not gay.

[Reggie]

He's like, huh, does mom know? Pops know? I'm like, no. Honestly, like, I feel like David and Natalie know. That's about it.

[Natalie]

That's really funny.

[David]

Yeah. So, I mean, he handled it the most.

[Reggie]

And then when you. Oh, sorry, dick appointment.

[David]

It's okay.

[Reggie]

Yeah, no, and then when you came home for Cruise Chris or for Thanksgiving, that's when I told you. I was like, oh, I told. I told John I'm gay.

[Natalie]

Wait, what year was this? How. Like, what? When did you tell John?

[Reggie]

It was the same.

[David]

Like, 2018.

[Reggie]

Yeah, right.

[Natalie]

Okay. It was all around the same time. Are you actually. Wow, coming out? I didn't know that.

[David]

Damn.

[Reggie]

I'm so glad I came out online because it just moved from group chat to group chat throughout my family. And they're like, we know. You know, right?

[Jason]

You didn't have to tell.

[Reggie]

Right?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

All right, well, I have a question. The main reason I wanted to have you on here is because I wanted your perspective as a gay man. And that's because I've seen, like, one or two tiktoks now. I think it's more than one or two. Yeah. I'm seeing edits of Dylan O'Brien and I want to really?

[Reggie]

Do you play with yourselves?

[David]

No, I'm kidding. I don't know why Dylan O'Brien's always my default celebrity.

[Natalie]

I know. I don't know.

[David]

That is weird. Okay. Because he seems so niche. No, that's not what I'm saying. I've seen some edits of gay guys going, can we Please bring back calling things gay. Ooh, have you seen this?

[Reggie]

I love this question. Yes. No, I mean, I.

[David]

You love the question of, like. Like, you know, like there's a whole movement, right?

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[David]

Which totally makes sense. Which was like, gay is not a synonym for stupid.

[Jason]

Mm.

[David]

So, like, stop being like, that's gay. Like, stop using that to describe that.

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[David]

But now it looks like the tides, at least with those one or two tiktoks I have seen are possibly turning the other way.

[Jason]

And in my Dylan O'Brien check group.

[David]

So, yeah. How do you feel about. And now you're speaking on behalf of all gay people here, Just so you know.

[Reggie]

Yeah, no, no, it's just based on my.

[David]

Okay, yeah. Well, what's your opinion on it?

[Reggie]

In my opinion, I feel like if you describe something gay that's actually nice as a positive way, then I don't give a fuck. If you're, like, saying it down to a person. You're like, you're fucking gay or some shit like that, then that's what you don't like. Yeah, okay.

[David]

Let me give you situations.

[Reggie]

Okay.

[David]

Okay. John walks in with a haircut. He looks like he's a little warlord. So it's like a little armyish haircut. And I go, that's a gay haircut.

[Reggie]

I'm confused.

[David]

That's fine because that could be good or bad haircut. You don't know, right?

[Reggie]

I mean, I'll be like, at this.

[David]

Point when I say that you don't know if you should be mad or happier. I like dark.

[Reggie]

I honestly don't give a fuck.

[Jason]

Okay, is it gay, like gay looking or is it gay like you don't like it?

[David]

I don't know. That's up to the. That's up.

[Jason]

I see, right?

[David]

My card's gay.

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[David]

Okay, great. What do you think about that?

[Natalie]

It's gay, but your car is gay.

[David]

Oh, this is interesting. This is a really.

[Reggie]

Oh, that.

[David]

This is a really bizarre takeover.

[Reggie]

No, in my opinion, it's gay because it's just like. It's like happy gay.

[David]

Fuck yeah.

[Natalie]

It's like flamboyant.

[David]

We're giving horrible examples here. The car one's a really interesting one, but okay, let's say I'm like, yo, let's go to the club tonight. And then John goes, nah, that's gay. Now Reggie goes, well, is it a gay.

[Reggie]

Is it weho.

[David]

Okay, fuck.

[Jason]

What if I said. What if Spotify said Spotify hasn't uploaded the episode? Spotify is being gay, but you're describing.

[Reggie]

Spotify as, like, a bad thing.

[Jason]

Yeah. Not working then.

[Reggie]

No.

[Jason]

Then, no.

[David]

No.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

Okay, so it's not back.

[Natalie]

Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah, I think it only applies to, like, things that are actually gay. Like, if something's like, flamboyant or something's maybe a little more like femme or eccentric or whatever.

[Reggie]

I mean, if you really want to use the gay pass, you could, like, experiment and then you could say, it's.

[Jason]

On my only fans this Thursday.

[David]

Okay, Okay, I get it. That makes sense.

[Jason]

Yeah. Nothing's changed.

[David]

Yeah, guys, breaking news here. Gay is not as an. Okay. I think what you're saying, though, is kind of confusing because, like, let's say Ilya comes in and he's wearing really short shorts.

[Reggie]

Gay.

[David]

Yeah. And I'm like, you look gay, but he does look gay. And I. But I'm also meaning in an insulting way.

[Reggie]

Maybe don't use gay as, like, an insult. If you, like. If you like his outfit.

[David]

Like, but he's a straight man. If, like, I called you straight, you wouldn't want to be straight. That would be an ins to you because you'd be like, that's not. That's not what I'm going for here.

[Reggie]

Honestly.

[David]

No. Fucking lie. What are you gonna say that you want to be called straight?

[Reggie]

No, I feel like my friends call me straight when I'm not, like, looking that good. So I'm like, oh, so I'm straight.

[David]

So that's an insult.

[Reggie]

Yeah, it's an insult to me.

[David]

Okay, so see, so just because I'm calling Ilya gay and it's an insult to him doesn't mean I. I mean it as an insult to the community. That's just not what he is. He looks gay, like, right now. I would never dare call you straight.

[Reggie]

That actually hurts my feelings. No, I don't give a fuck. I feel like people just look into it too much and then.

[David]

Jay, how do you feel about the N word?

[Jason]

Pretty liberal with it.

[David]

You're like, well, it depends how you're using it. All right, well, that wraps up the segment of. Is it gay? Great.

[Reggie]

I honestly just don't give a fuck about if you're using gay, but just don't use it in a bad form of gay.

[David]

Okay, that totally sounds like you care. I don't give a fuck. Honestly, I don't give a fuck. You better not be using it in any negative way.

[Reggie]

Different for everyone. Like.

[David]

Yeah, I guess it's depending how you come. Yeah, I guess how you come on it.

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Are there Any words that offend you? If I said, you stupid Slovakia, would that offend you?

[David]

I don't like being called a twink. Twink.

[Reggie]

You're a 12th, though. You're a twunk.

[David]

What's a twunk?

[Reggie]

It's like, a twink, but you're, like, hairy.

[David]

That's disgusting.

[Reggie]

Honestly, you could be otter.

[David]

That's. That reminds me of, like, otter. That reminds me of, like, ordering, like, a munchkin from Dunkin Donuts. And there's hair in it. That's what I feel like a twonk would be.

[Jason]

So a bear would be an older guy. A twonk. Older hairy guy. Younger hairy guy.

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[David]

Seth Roman here is a bear.

[Reggie]

Like, kind of, like, fit.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

What other terms?

[Reggie]

I mean, like, David's old body would be an otter.

[Jason]

Okay.

[David]

Oh, I like that.

[Jason]

But he's not Harry.

[Reggie]

He is.

[Jason]

Is he?

[David]

Okay, Reggie.

[Reggie]

Sorry.

[Jason]

Have you ever fantasized about David?

[David]

I grabbed Roger's thigh. Reggie, have you ever jerked off to me?

[Reggie]

No, not you.

[David]

Not you, Jason.

[Jason]

Which one of the boys.

[Reggie]

No, no, not any of us, really. I feel like they just, like, remind me of, like, cousins.

[David]

I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, that makes sense.

[Jason]

Do straight. Do straight guys turn you on?

[David]

Of course, yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah. So are there straight guys that.

[David]

It's like saying, do lesbians turn me on? Has nothing to do with anything.

[Reggie]

Right?

[Jason]

Do straight guys. Have you ever flipped a straight guy?

[Reggie]

I mean, I've hooked up.

[Jason]

You've been there first.

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

How is that?

[Reggie]

Like, usually straight men love things in their ass. Like, I would be, like, going to a hookup. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm about to get it in. But it's like, can you put it in me? I'm like, oh, I thought you were straight.

[David]

Wow, that's crazy, right? Yeah.

[Reggie]

I feel like it's the curious part of the body that you have not experienced.

[David]

I think we talked about this on the podcast, but when I was, like, 14 or 15, I was taking a bath and I put, like, my fingers up my ass. Did we talk about this in the pod?

[Jason]

I don't know if we did. I put it far out of my memory, but go ahead.

[David]

Yeah. And I didn't, because I see that a lot of, like, your. Not your pressure point, your pleasure point is, like, in your ass or something. Yeah. For a guy, which really confuses me, which doesn't make any sense to me.

[Reggie]

Oh, no.

[David]

As a man who's experimented in the tub back in Vern Hills, you can.

[Jason]

Hit your G spot and not be in your ass how well you can.

[Natalie]

What do you mean? What are you hitting if you're a guy?

[Reggie]

Yeah, what else are you hitting?

[Jason]

I think so.

[David]

Oh, don't. Don't backtrack now.

[Jason]

I think that's what I'm hitting.

[David]

Go ahead. Talk about your gay experience, Jay.

[Jason]

I think that's what I'm hitting. I mean, what.

[David]

What?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

You tapping Reggie on the side?

[Natalie]

Maybe.

[David]

Why are you licking your lips?

[Reggie]

Is it hard to.

[Natalie]

Why are you taking it back?

[Jason]

Jason, the thing about the butt, too, is it's very hard. It's very hard to get anything in there.

[Reggie]

Do you know what I mean?

[Jason]

Like, even if you have to put something in there surgically or maybe for a reason, like you have hemorrhoids or something, like, it's a tight area.

[Reggie]

No, I don't think so. I think a little lube just does it.

[Jason]

Oh, a little lube takes care of it.

[David]

Is it once you get past the first part of the butt where it opens up later.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God.

[Reggie]

Is it just the hole that's a little tight? Yeah, it is. And then it's, like, hollow. Yeah. But depending, like, how your girth is, then you could feel.

[Jason]

What's a cream pie? Like?

[David]

Ew. Okay, no more.

[Natalie]

No more.

[Reggie]

Last night was crazy.

[Jason]

What's it like to get the cream pie out?

[David]

Next segment.

[Jason]

I love when you draw the line of something that's too gross for you. You literally sit here all day, cream pies, going, talking about all kinds of. You just talked about your exploring your butt in the bathtub.

[David]

That's normal.

[Jason]

You don't want to.

[Natalie]

Now, what is a cream pie?

[Reggie]

A cream what?

[David]

What are you dumb?

[Reggie]

N. A cream pie.

[David]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Natalie]

Like, just to fill the butt up.

[Reggie]

Cream and then a.

[David]

You don't know what a cream pie is?

[Natalie]

I don't really, as.

[David]

As a foodie.

[Natalie]

Oh, like the food. Yeah, I know what a cream pie is.

[David]

Okay. Yeah.

[Natalie]

So you fill in the butt with some cream.

[David]

Yeah. Pours out a little. Oh, okay. I'm done.

[Jason]

Okay.

[David]

Okay, Stop it. Next segment. Cut the pot, Jay.

[Jason]

Okay, let's roll this. Hey, Jay, do you know about seatgeek?

[David]

Perfect to get you tickets to your favorite cream pies. I don't know, Reggie. You do? How much you make on Onlyfans?

[Reggie]

Oh, not that much.

[David]

Like, just enough to cover rent.

[Reggie]

I mean.

[David]

Yeah, like, three, four, five grand a month.

[Jason]

That's really good.

[Reggie]

I mean, with my spending. No.

[Jason]

Well, stop your spending. That's really good. That's Insane.

[David]

Reggie, as a guy who does OnlyFans, have you had, like, weird requests on there?

[Reggie]

Okay. This one person requested me working a video show of me working out and then taking off my socks and then jacking myself off.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God.

[Reggie]

But I'm like, I can't do that video. I don't work out.

[David]

Jacking off into the sock.

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Reg.

[David]

Wow, that's crazy. Grab a barbell, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, that's where you're fine at, working out. Yeah. You're like, everything checks out.

[Reggie]

I just don't know if I can.

[David]

Go to the gym. That was your problem.

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[David]

Can I just do it without. Can I just sweat by just staying in my socks all day? So he wanted a sweaty sock filled with cum.

[Reggie]

Yeah, but I don't know how you're supp to like, ship it out or something like that, but yeah, that sounds like. I declined it.

[David]

That sounds like one of those dogs at, like, one of those bomb sniffing dogs would be like, this isn't a bomb. There's some fucking crazy scent coming out of this. And they'd stop it, like, in the mail to buy them.

[Reggie]

I want you to send me, like, a dick pic. It doesn't need to be, like a thing. And then you could just be like, can you rape my dick?

[David]

Whoa. This is really random. That felt like we just like. That felt like we just had to edit in the podcast in Real Customers.

[Reggie]

So, like, I can't. I don't know who you are.

[David]

Oh, you want me to send you a dick pic.

[Natalie]

You get a glimpse of Iron man in the background.

[David]

I'm holding my dick with the Iron man gauntlet. The address is Dave. I'm pretty sure this is you. Okay. Yeah, so I'll send you a dick pic. You won't know who it's from.

[Reggie]

Yeah.

[David]

And then we'll. We'll rate all your dick pics that you get on next week's podcast and we'll see. Okay, which one's mine?

[Reggie]

Perfect.

[Jason]

Oh, wow.

[Reggie]

I love that.

[David]

Tune in the next podcast. God. Okay, so this is an interesting Somebody. Somebody asked. I won't say their name because this is insane, but they said, help. My cousin is in love with me. Oh, January 2024. Yeah, this is from Susie Antonian.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God.

[David]

She's talking about armand Antonio. January. January 2024. I got a random message from an unknown number saying, hey, hey. So I said, what's up? And then started saying how much they were obsessed and then they started saying how much they were obsessed with me. And they couldn't stop thinking about me for years and that they were in love with me. I told them to tell me who they were, but they said they couldn't. I was so curious to find out who this person was. I fed into it saying, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. He kept giving me hints like he knew me for a long time and my childhood address and memories. This is so fucking weird. Especially like, whatever you're in love with your cousin, just fucking say it. Don't tease at it. Be like, I know where you were when you were five. After this, I ignored all the messages because I knew it was a family member at this point. Eventually, he revealed himself to be one of my cousins, but I ignored the message. And every month since then, he's been texting me. Even if I block the number. The advice I need is what to do when I eventually see him and how do I make it not awkward? I don't want my family to know. It's embarrassing. I obviously want to fuck him and sit on his face. Okay, from now on. So from now on, every time I read one of these, I'm gonna add a sentence that's not real. I'll give you that one. That last sentence was not real. I didn't make that part up.

[Jason]

She's got to just address it right at the head column. Be like, hey, this is fucked up. This is weird. You have to stop this. And that's it.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[David]

Has she not, don't go to the family reunion. That's a pretty big deal breaker for me. If it's different.

[Natalie]

If you're like, I wonder how old the cousin is.

[David]

Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Natalie]

Like, if they're like, because I had.

[David]

A crush on my cousin when I was like 8 or 9.

[Jason]

Right.

[David]

So I don't know if that's like a. Like a thing. Yeah, you're right. I. I doubt this person is like.

[Natalie]

If it's your like 30 year old cousin. Yeah, that's weird. But if it's your 12 year old, it's also.

[David]

There's also a double standard here. It's the fact that she's a woman and he's a guy kind of just freaks me out even more.

[Natalie]

It is. Really. I mean, it's just.

[David]

That's like something where you're like, I wouldn't even. I wouldn't even go to the family reunion. I would tell my family.

[Jason]

I know, right?

[David]

Unfortunately, that is like a line that if you cross that unless you live in a place where. Where Incest is okay.

[Natalie]

Is there a place where that is?

[David]

Yeah. Oh, or Arkansas. Wait, actually, no, no. I just know we mentioned Arkansas the other day, and someone DM'd be saying, Yay, Arkansas. Finally mentioned. So I wanted to just give it right back to them in a more negative way. I'm just kidding. People of Arkansas. I'm kidding. No, it's not okay anywhere.

[Jason]

I don't think boundaries are really important. Boundaries are amazing. Like, boundaries are, like, incredible. So if you say, like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, that person's gonna get scared. They're gonna stop. They're gonna change their ways.

[David]

Yeah. Also, family reunions, like, not the place to get laid. So I don't know. This is weird. You should definitely just tell this guy. You should. You should tell your family. Because this feels like. Especially because he, like, texted you, like, anonymously. I don't know why that adds to, like, the level of creepiness to it.

[Natalie]

So creepy.

[David]

Where he was, like, maybe pleasuring himself to the text anonymously.

[Natalie]

Really Painting.

[David]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Nasty.

[David]

Going from experience. This guy obviously lives in Sherman Oaks. He used to be a Viner and he does YouTube. No, no, no, no. But you should definitely talk. This. This seems like it's going to progress into something even stranger. All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you, guys, for everybody who joined us today.

[Jason]

You're trying to leave. You trying to leave the body.

[David]

I'm just trying to leave my body there.

[Jason]

If you want, I'll go out in the couch and try to do it with you.

[David]

Did you see it?

[Jason]

We can have red teeth.

[David]

Did you see. Did you see, like, a silky version of me?

[Jason]

I saw you in a quiet place. I saw you in a focused place. Like a focused state.

[David]

So I'm going to. Okay, I'll get back to you. Keep you guys on my reporting. I don't know what it's called, the name for it, but I'm going to call it Disassociating Levitation.

[Jason]

Yeah. Right in for the podcast. If you guys know what this is.

[David]

If any of you guys have mastered it, please let me know.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[David]

All right, guys, that's all the time we have. Thank you guys for joining us. This has been a views podcast. Views.