Podcast Summary: "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" Episode – HTDE: Maury Povich and Sleeping Between the Pretties

Introduction

In this episode of NPR's beloved weekly news quiz, "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!", host Peter Sagal brings a unique twist by featuring an episode of the sister podcast, "How to Do Everything" (HTDE). This special edition, titled "Maury Povich and Sleeping Between the Pretties," delves into the humorous yet relatable dilemmas of married life, featuring television icon Maury Povich as a guest expert. Listeners are treated to witty banter, practical advice, and insightful discussions aimed at resolving common domestic disputes.

Section 1: The Great Bed-Making Debate

The episode kicks off with a listener named Billy reaching out for help with a longstanding marital disagreement: the correct way to make a bed when using printed sheets. Billy explains the dilemma:

Billy [01:30]: "There's been a sort of an ongoing thing between me and my wife now for 29 years, going on almost 30, about how to make the bed. When you have printed sheets, does the printed top sheet go printed side up or printed side down?"

This seemingly trivial issue has been a source of tension for nearly three decades. Billy’s wife prefers the printed side of the top sheet facing down, allowing him to sleep "between the pretties," a term lovingly used by his wife. Conversely, Billy argues for the printed side facing up to ensure a uniform look.

Billy [01:58]: "She is the one who thinks the printed side of the top sheet should go down on the bed so that you're sleeping between the pretties, as she's."

Acknowledging the longevity of their relationship, Mike Danforth commends the couple:

Mike Danforth [02:32]: "Congratulations. 29 years, that's no small thing."

Notable Insight: The hosts humorously recognize that what may seem like a minor household preference can become a significant point of contention over time, highlighting the importance of communication and compromise in long-term relationships.

Section 2: Consulting the Royal Butler

Determined to find an objective answer, Mike and Ian introduce Grant Howard, purportedly the former butler to King Charles and Queen Camilla, as the perfect authority on proper bed-making techniques.

Ian Chillag [03:01]: "So, Grant, what's the verdict?"

Grant provides a detailed explanation of making a perfect bed:

Grant Howard [03:22]: "So basically the first thing you would do is the actual first sheet that would go on the bed and it would all get tucked in and you do the hospital corners, nice crisp hospital corners. And then what you'd have is a top sheet, and that would be with the pattern down... And the pillowcases would always make sure you'd always have the opening towards each other so they'd all be facing into the bed."

Ultimately, Grant endorses Billy’s wife’s perspective:

Grant Howard [03:54]: "Yeah, she's absolutely right and he's completely wrong on this one."

The hosts playfully affirm Grant's authority by connecting his expertise to royal standards.

Section 3: The Royal Alarm Clock

The conversation takes a whimsical turn as Mike inquires about King Charles's sleeping arrangements, leading to an amusing revelation about the Queen's unique alarm clock:

Ian Chillag [05:01]: "Does the king have an alarm clock?"

Grant Howard [05:01]: "Every morning, in the morning, they have a piper playing bagpipes outside the window. That's the alarm clock."

This lighthearted exchange underscores the blend of formality and personal quirks even within royal routines.

Section 4: Addressing Embarrassing Moments – Telling Someone Their Zipper is Down

Transitioning from household disputes to social etiquette, Billy shares an awkward experience from graduate school where a professor’s open zipper became the focal point of unintended attention.

Billy [06:20]: "When it comes to telling somebody their zipper's down, that is bad news. It's embarrassing news."

To tackle this delicate situation, Maury Povich steps in with his seasoned advice:

Maury Povich [08:18]: "Sir, would you do me a favor and just turn away from anybody who's watching you right now... Zip it."

Maury's approach emphasizes directness while maintaining politeness, offering a pragmatic solution to a common social faux pas.

Section 5: Personal Anecdotes and Reflections

Maury Povich shares a personal anecdote illustrating the importance of standing up for oneself:

Maury Povich [10:05]: "I went to the coach of the Washington Redskins one time... I said, 'Are you with us or against us?' That's when I decided to get out of the sportscasting business and go into news."

This story highlights the significance of addressing uncomfortable situations head-on, reinforcing the episode's theme of effective communication.

Section 6: Practical Tips – Replacing Everyday Items

In a segment blending humor with practical advice, the hosts offer mnemonic devices to help listeners remember to replace everyday household items, such as toothbrushes, mascara, surge protectors, cutting boards, and sunscreen. For instance:

Ian Chillag [18:16]: "Brent, you should replace your toothbrush every three months. Every time somebody named Thron is born in America, toss out your toothbrush."

These creative reminders aim to assist listeners in maintaining good hygiene and safety practices with a touch of humor.

Conclusion: Resolved Bed-Making Debate and Closing Remarks

The episode circles back to Billy's initial dilemma, bringing closure with a unanimous decision supporting his wife's method of bed-making. Karen, Billy’s wife, is present to celebrate the resolution:

Peter Sagal [25:44]: "Hi, Karen."

Billy [25:55]: "Yay."

Mike Danforth [26:04]: "We hope we wish you many excellent nights of sleep and a peaceful marriage in the future."

The hosts conclude the episode with heartfelt well-wishes, emphasizing the importance of resolving even the smallest disputes for a harmonious relationship.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Billy [01:30]: "There's been a sort of an ongoing thing between me and my wife now for 29 years... does the printed top sheet go printed side up or printed side down?"

• Grant Howard [03:22]: "Yeah, she's absolutely right and he's completely wrong on this one."

• Maury Povich [08:18]: "Sir, would you do me a favor and just turn away... Zip it."

• Maury Povich [10:05]: "That's when I decided to get out of the sportscasting business and go into news."

• Ian Chillag [18:16]: "Every time somebody named Thron is born in America, toss out your toothbrush and get a new one."

Key Takeaways

1. Communication is Crucial: Whether it's about bed-making preferences or informing someone of an open zipper, clear and direct communication can prevent misunderstandings and maintain harmony.

2. Humor in Everyday Life: The episode effectively uses humor to address mundane yet significant issues, making the advice both entertaining and relatable.

3. Practical Advice with a Twist: By incorporating mnemonic devices and creative reminders, the hosts provide listeners with memorable tips to manage household responsibilities efficiently.

4. Expert Opinions Matter: Consulting an expert, even in a humorous context like a royal butler, adds credibility and a touch of sophistication to everyday problems.

Final Thoughts

This episode of "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" seamlessly blends humor, practical advice, and engaging storytelling to address common household and social dilemmas. Featuring the charismatic Maury Povich, listeners are not only entertained but also equipped with useful strategies to enhance their daily lives and relationships. Whether it's perfecting the art of bed-making or tactfully handling awkward social moments, the episode underscores the value of effective communication and the joy of resolving long-standing disputes with a smile.