Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

Episode: John Cusack rides his Vespa straight into our hearts
Date: March 14, 2026
Host: Peter Sagal, with Alzo Slade filling in as announcer
Panelists: Joyell Nicole Johnson, Rachel Koster, Adam Felber
Special Guest: John Cusack

Episode Overview

This lively episode features Chicago’s own John Cusack as the special guest, alongside news quizzes, comedic commentary, and panel games riffing on the week’s headlines. The show delivers its signature blend of current events, pop culture, and comedic banter. Particularly memorable are Cusack’s reflections on his career, the classic boombox scene, his enduring Chicago roots, and the absurdities of both politics and pop culture.

Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter and Panel Introductions

(00:04 - 02:11)

• Host Peter Sagal opens with a joke about booking John Cusack, referencing the iconic “Say Anything” boombox scene.
• Panelists introduce themselves, including shout-outs to their latest projects.
• Quote:
  Peter Sagal: “To book him on the show, I had to go stand on his front lawn holding a boombox over my head playing our theme song.” (00:23)

2. Listener Quiz: Who’s Alzo This Time?

(02:13 - 11:41)

• Contestant: Jen Crowley from Roselle, IL (owns a dog grooming salon).
• News Questions Cover:
  • Spring Break Travel Chaos:
    “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong right now.” – Quoted travel expert (02:33)
    • Panel riffs on TSA delays, disrupted youth traditions, and travel mishaps.
    • Joyell Nicole Johnson shares a personal story about Carnival in Trinidad and allergic reactions:
      “I went to Trinidad once for carnival... I am deathly allergic [to cats]. I had to bring my nebulizer.” (04:08)
  • Biden’s Cabinet Shoe Gifting Habit:
    “It helps to be tall. They’ve got big heels.” – President Biden, joking about the shoes he gives his staff (04:52)
    • The panel imagines government officials awkwardly matching in ill-fitting shoes and riff on DC fashion.
  • Timothée Chalamet’s Backlash Against Opera/Ballet Remarks:
    “No one cares about opera and ballet anymore. All respect to the ballet and opera people out there.” – Chalamet (07:01)
    • Panel jokes about possible family drama;
      Joyell Nicole Johnson: “It’s my personal opinion that Timothy is beefing with his sister and mother right now.” (08:36)
• Jen wins the quiz with 2 out of 3 correct.

3. Panel Questions: Secret Whole Foods Jail

(11:41 - 12:43)

• Whole Foods’ Secret Jail:
  • New journalism uncovers windowless “Whole Foods Jail” for shoplifters.
  • Peter Sagal: “So think about this, people, before you commit any jackfruit-related crime.” (10:55)

• Cruise Ship Jails: Discussed as a comparison.

  Joyell Nicole Johnson: “Every cruise ship has a morgue. I found this out.” (10:05)

4. Bluff the Listener: 30 Years in the Making

(12:43 - 18:53)

• Contestant: Tara from Boise, Idaho (dietitian/mom).
• Panel Stories:
  1. Wedding Cake Lost & Found After 30 Years – Joyell Nicole Johnson
  2. Free Oysters for 80th Birthday with Dad (TRUE) – Adam Felber
  • “Free oysters to any man, 80 years old, accompanied by his father.” – Real oyster house sign, confirmed. (16:29)
  3. Man Finally Does a DIY Keg Stand – Rachel Koster
• Tara correctly identifies the true oyster house story and wins a prize.

5. Not My Job: John Cusack Interview

(19:04 - 29:40)

a) Reflections on Iconic Roles

• Cusack discusses being recognized for “Say Anything” and the enduring impact of the boombox scene:

  Peter Sagal: “Do people ask you to pretend to hold the boombox up like Lloyd?” (19:43)
  John Cusack: “I only do that at parties.” (20:02)
  • Fans can get rowdy at screenings; one told Cusack,
    “My wife left me because she said I wasn’t you ... and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.” – He literally dropped the mic. (21:13-21:29)

b) On Favorite Movies & Screenwriting

• Cusack has special fondness for “Grosse Pointe Blank”, a black comedy he wrote, and confirms it was inspired by (and research for) his 10-year high school reunion:

  John Cusack: “If we get funding for this, that’s the only way I’ll go to my 10-year high school reunion.” (22:23)

c) Love of Chicago & Life on a Vespa

• An ode to Chicago over LA.

  John Cusack: “Have you been to LA?” (22:58)

• Gets around Chicago on a Vespa; sometimes keeps a bottle of gas handy.

  Peter Sagal (joking): “So you’re riding around your Vespa ... reach into the pocket, pull out the bottle.” (24:05)
  John Cusack: “I don’t even know if what I’m doing is legal, but it doesn’t sound it.” (24:11)

d) New Graphic Novel – “Momo”

• Bizarre, genre-spanning plot: “French Connection meets E.T. meets My Dinner With Andre meets Smokey and the Bandit meets The Mike Douglas Show.”

  John Cusack: “I always believe in the possibility of possible.” (25:07)

• Features the avant-garde artist Antonin Artaud:

  Peter Sagal: “So you’ve sold out and gone mainstream.” (24:40)

e) Not My Job Quiz: Say Nothing

• All about unwise public statements.

• Cusack aces all three questions, winning for listener Jill Farrell of Beaverton, OR.

  Peter Sagal: “He said something. He got three out of three. He’s a winner.” (29:35)

6. Panel Questions: Social Trends and Absurdities

(31:44 - 36:07)

• Boyfriend Pics Epidemic

  • New York Times covers unflattering photos taken by men.

    Rachel Koster: “There’s no one else there. We’re not allowed to invite our friends over anymore because they’re annoying.” (33:30)
  • Joyell’s photo tip:
    “High angles, high angles. Looking down ... Get up in the balcony.” (33:15)
  • Adam Felber: “I find that so offensive and accurate.” (33:09)
• Marrying a ‘Disney Adult’

  • Explores the tribulations of being wed to an extreme Disney fan.

    Peter Sagal: “A Disney adult ... it’s basically an adult who was bullied either too much or not enough as a child.” (34:22)
  • Adam Felber’s dating test: “Just throw out in conversation, ‘Hi, ho.’ See what happens.” (35:33)
  • Joyell: “You can’t say that to a Black woman.” (35:44)

7. Listener Game: Limericks

(36:35 - 41:08)

• Runner churns butter while running:

  • Viral hack: churn butter by carrying cream in a bag while jogging.

    Peter Sagal: “How great would it be to finish a grueling 15 mile ... and right then I could refresh myself with some nice thick butter?” (37:57)
• United Airlines bans in-flight device audio without headphones (38:19)
• Hot water as wellness trend for “de-bloating” (39:48)
  • Joyell confesses she’s following it:
    “The Asian girlies told me to do it, and they look amazing, so I listen to anything they say.” (40:43)

8. Lightning Fill in the Blank

(41:56 - 47:27)

• Fast-paced news quiz among panelists.
• Adam Felber pulls ahead and wins the week.

9. Panel’s Oscar Predictions

(48:34 - 48:53)

• Rachel Koster: Kylie Jenner will perform Carmina Burana on pointe.
• Adam Felber: Timothée Chalamet will walk the red carpet in a tutu and Viking helmet.
• Joyell Nicole Johnson: Misty Copeland will slap Timothée Chalamet after her performance.

Notable Quotes & Moments

On the “Say Anything” Scene

• Peter Sagal: “Do people, like, ask you to either pretend to hold the boombox up like Lloyd did in the movie, or do they ever do that to you?” (19:43)
• John Cusack: “I only do that at parties.” (20:02)

On Chicago vs. LA

• Peter Sagal: “Why did you stay here or come back, perhaps?” (22:51)
• John Cusack: “Have you been to LA?” (22:58)

On Whole Foods Jail

• Peter Sagal: “So think about this, people, before you commit any jackfruit-related crime.” (10:55)

On bad boyfriend photography

• Joyell Nicole Johnson: “I don’t trust straight men to take pictures ... Gotta get you a good gay man to take a picture, girl. You be nice and glossy.” (32:46)

On Disney Adults in Marriage

• Peter Sagal: “A Disney adult. It’s basically an adult who was bullied either too much or not enough…” (34:22)

On New Wellness Trends

• Joyell Nicole Johnson: “The Asian girlies told me to do it, and they look amazing, so I listen to anything they say.” (40:43)

Memorable Segments with Timestamps

• Boombox story & fan reactions: 19:43–21:29
• Whole Foods Jail: 10:35–11:24
• John Cusack’s favorite film and reunion story: 21:43–22:34
• Joyell’s Carnival Nebulizer tale: 04:08–04:37
• “Butter Churning Jogger”: 37:14–37:56

Episode Tone and Energy

The episode is fast, witty, stacked with Chicago pride, and peppered with sharp commentary about major and minor news from the ridiculous to the poignant. Cusack’s segments blend nostalgia, self-deprecation, and creative ambition, while the panel’s playful bickering and stories keep the energy buoyant and relatable.

This summary is designed to bring forward the highlights and humor of this Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me! episode, especially for those who missed it or want a refresher on key discussions and quotes.