John Cusack rides his Vespa straight into our hearts

Summary

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

Episode: John Cusack rides his Vespa straight into our hearts
Date: March 14, 2026
Host: Peter Sagal, with Alzo Slade filling in as announcer
Panelists: Joyell Nicole Johnson, Rachel Koster, Adam Felber
Special Guest: John Cusack

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Episode Overview

This lively episode features Chicago’s own John Cusack as the special guest, alongside news quizzes, comedic commentary, and panel games riffing on the week’s headlines. The show delivers its signature blend of current events, pop culture, and comedic banter. Particularly memorable are Cusack’s reflections on his career, the classic boombox scene, his enduring Chicago roots, and the absurdities of both politics and pop culture.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter and Panel Introductions

(00:04 - 02:11)

• Host Peter Sagal opens with a joke about booking John Cusack, referencing the iconic “Say Anything” boombox scene.
• Panelists introduce themselves, including shout-outs to their latest projects.
• Quote:
  Peter Sagal: “To book him on the show, I had to go stand on his front lawn holding a boombox over my head playing our theme song.” (00:23)

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2. Listener Quiz: Who’s Alzo This Time?

(02:13 - 11:41)

• Contestant: Jen Crowley from Roselle, IL (owns a dog grooming salon).
• News Questions Cover:
  • Spring Break Travel Chaos:
    “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong right now.” – Quoted travel expert (02:33)
    • Panel riffs on TSA delays, disrupted youth traditions, and travel mishaps.
    • Joyell Nicole Johnson shares a personal story about Carnival in Trinidad and allergic reactions:
      “I went to Trinidad once for carnival... I am deathly allergic [to cats]. I had to bring my nebulizer.” (04:08)
  • Biden’s Cabinet Shoe Gifting Habit:
    “It helps to be tall. They’ve got big heels.” – President Biden, joking about the shoes he gives his staff (04:52)
    • The panel imagines government officials awkwardly matching in ill-fitting shoes and riff on DC fashion.
  • Timothée Chalamet’s Backlash Against Opera/Ballet Remarks:
    “No one cares about opera and ballet anymore. All respect to the ballet and opera people out there.” – Chalamet (07:01)
    • Panel jokes about possible family drama;
      Joyell Nicole Johnson: “It’s my personal opinion that Timothy is beefing with his sister and mother right now.” (08:36)
• Jen wins the quiz with 2 out of 3 correct.

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3. Panel Questions: Secret Whole Foods Jail

(11:41 - 12:43)

• Whole Foods’ Secret Jail:
  • New journalism uncovers windowless “Whole Foods Jail” for shoplifters.
  • Peter Sagal: “So think about this, people, before you commit any jackfruit-related crime.” (10:55)

• Cruise Ship Jails: Discussed as a comparison.

  Joyell Nicole Johnson: “Every cruise ship has a morgue. I found this out.” (10:05)

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4. Bluff the Listener: 30 Years in the Making

(12:43 - 18:53)

• Contestant: Tara from Boise, Idaho (dietitian/mom).
• Panel Stories:
  1. Wedding Cake Lost & Found After 30 Years – Joyell Nicole Johnson
  2. Free Oysters for 80th Birthday with Dad (TRUE) – Adam Felber
  • “Free oysters to any man, 80 years old, accompanied by his father.” – Real oyster house sign, confirmed. (16:29)
  3. Man Finally Does a DIY Keg Stand – Rachel Koster
• Tara correctly identifies the true oyster house story and wins a prize.

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5. Not My Job: John Cusack Interview

(19:04 - 29:40)

a) Reflections on Iconic Roles

• Cusack discusses being recognized for “Say Anything” and the enduring impact of the boombox scene:

  Peter Sagal: “Do people ask you to pretend to hold the boombox up like Lloyd?” (19:43)
  John Cusack: “I only do that at parties.” (20:02)
  • Fans can get rowdy at screenings; one told Cusack,
    “My wife left me because she said I wasn’t you ... and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.” – He literally dropped the mic. (21:13-21:29)

b) On Favorite Movies & Screenwriting

• Cusack has special fondness for “Grosse Pointe Blank”, a black comedy he wrote, and confirms it was inspired by (and research for) his 10-year high school reunion:

  John Cusack: “If we get funding for this, that’s the only way I’ll go to my 10-year high school reunion.” (22:23)

c) Love of Chicago & Life on a Vespa

• An ode to Chicago over LA.

  John Cusack: “Have you been to LA?” (22:58)

• Gets around Chicago on a Vespa; sometimes keeps a bottle of gas handy.

  Peter Sagal (joking): “So you’re riding around your Vespa ... reach into the pocket, pull out the bottle.” (24:05)
  John Cusack: “I don’t even know if what I’m doing is legal, but it doesn’t sound it.” (24:11)

d) New Graphic Novel – “Momo”

• Bizarre, genre-spanning plot: “French Connection meets E.T. meets My Dinner With Andre meets Smokey and the Bandit meets The Mike Douglas Show.”

  John Cusack: “I always believe in the possibility of possible.” (25:07)

• Features the avant-garde artist Antonin Artaud:

  Peter Sagal: “So you’ve sold out and gone mainstream.” (24:40)

e) Not My Job Quiz: Say Nothing

• All about unwise public statements.

• Cusack aces all three questions, winning for listener Jill Farrell of Beaverton, OR.

  Peter Sagal: “He said something. He got three out of three. He’s a winner.” (29:35)

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6. Panel Questions: Social Trends and Absurdities

(31:44 - 36:07)

• Boyfriend Pics Epidemic

  • New York Times covers unflattering photos taken by men.

    Rachel Koster: “There’s no one else there. We’re not allowed to invite our friends over anymore because they’re annoying.” (33:30)
  • Joyell’s photo tip:
    “High angles, high angles. Looking down ... Get up in the balcony.” (33:15)
  • Adam Felber: “I find that so offensive and accurate.” (33:09)
• Marrying a ‘Disney Adult’

  • Explores the tribulations of being wed to an extreme Disney fan.

    Peter Sagal: “A Disney adult ... it’s basically an adult who was bullied either too much or not enough as a child.” (34:22)
  • Adam Felber’s dating test: “Just throw out in conversation, ‘Hi, ho.’ See what happens.” (35:33)
  • Joyell: “You can’t say that to a Black woman.” (35:44)

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7. Listener Game: Limericks

(36:35 - 41:08)

• Runner churns butter while running:

  • Viral hack: churn butter by carrying cream in a bag while jogging.

    Peter Sagal: “How great would it be to finish a grueling 15 mile ... and right then I could refresh myself with some nice thick butter?” (37:57)
• United Airlines bans in-flight device audio without headphones (38:19)
• Hot water as wellness trend for “de-bloating” (39:48)
  • Joyell confesses she’s following it:
    “The Asian girlies told me to do it, and they look amazing, so I listen to anything they say.” (40:43)

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8. Lightning Fill in the Blank

(41:56 - 47:27)

• Fast-paced news quiz among panelists.
• Adam Felber pulls ahead and wins the week.

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9. Panel’s Oscar Predictions

(48:34 - 48:53)

• Rachel Koster: Kylie Jenner will perform Carmina Burana on pointe.
• Adam Felber: Timothée Chalamet will walk the red carpet in a tutu and Viking helmet.
• Joyell Nicole Johnson: Misty Copeland will slap Timothée Chalamet after her performance.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On the “Say Anything” Scene

• Peter Sagal: “Do people, like, ask you to either pretend to hold the boombox up like Lloyd did in the movie, or do they ever do that to you?” (19:43)
• John Cusack: “I only do that at parties.” (20:02)

On Chicago vs. LA

• Peter Sagal: “Why did you stay here or come back, perhaps?” (22:51)
• John Cusack: “Have you been to LA?” (22:58)

On Whole Foods Jail

• Peter Sagal: “So think about this, people, before you commit any jackfruit-related crime.” (10:55)

On bad boyfriend photography

• Joyell Nicole Johnson: “I don’t trust straight men to take pictures ... Gotta get you a good gay man to take a picture, girl. You be nice and glossy.” (32:46)

On Disney Adults in Marriage

• Peter Sagal: “A Disney adult. It’s basically an adult who was bullied either too much or not enough…” (34:22)

On New Wellness Trends

• Joyell Nicole Johnson: “The Asian girlies told me to do it, and they look amazing, so I listen to anything they say.” (40:43)

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Memorable Segments with Timestamps

• Boombox story & fan reactions: 19:43–21:29
• Whole Foods Jail: 10:35–11:24
• John Cusack’s favorite film and reunion story: 21:43–22:34
• Joyell’s Carnival Nebulizer tale: 04:08–04:37
• “Butter Churning Jogger”: 37:14–37:56

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Episode Tone and Energy

The episode is fast, witty, stacked with Chicago pride, and peppered with sharp commentary about major and minor news from the ridiculous to the poignant. Cusack’s segments blend nostalgia, self-deprecation, and creative ambition, while the panel’s playful bickering and stories keep the energy buoyant and relatable.

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This summary is designed to bring forward the highlights and humor of this Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me! episode, especially for those who missed it or want a refresher on key discussions and quotes.

Transcript

[Alzo Slade]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Alzo Slade filling in for Bill Curtis, who flew to LA to accept the Oscar for Best Pipes. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Alzo. Thank you, Alzo, especially for filling and for Bill, who will be back with us next week. Thanks you all for being here at our beautiful home theater. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Chicago's own legendary actor John Cusack. It is a big get right. To book him on the show, I had to go stand on his front lawn holding a boombox over my head playing our theme song. But first, it's your turn to say anything on our quiz. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant.

[John Cusack]

Hi.

[Peter Sagal]

You are on Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Rachel Koster]

Hi, this is Jen Crowley from Roselle, Illinois.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, Roselle, where is that exactly? Oh, you know, just about a half hour away from you. Yeah, well, I'm a Chicago guy. As far as I know. That's it. Yeah. I don't live in Illinois. I've never heard of it. What do you do nearby here?

[Rachel Koster]

I own a dog grooming salon and boutique.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow. I imagine dealing with the dogs is much easier than dealing with the dog's owners. Yes, that's typically true, I imagine. Yes. Well, welcome to the show, Jen. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the host of boy room on TikTok and Instagram, it's Rachel Koster. Rachel, hi.

[Rachel Koster]

How's it going?

[Peter Sagal]

Next, it's the co host of the podcast Nobody Listens To, Paula Poundstone, which this week celebrated its 400th episode with a guide for new listeners. It's Adam Felber. Hi there, Jen. Hey. And a comedian whose album Yell Joy is available through Blonde Medicine. And her special Yell Joy is on Peacock. It's Joelle Nicole Johnson.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Hey, Jen.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey. So, Jen, welcome. You're gonna play who's Alzo this time? Alzo Slade is gonna read for you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?

[John Cusack]

Ready to go.

[Peter Sagal]

All right. Your first quote is a Travel advisory for college students this week.

[Alzo Slade]

Everything that can go wrong will go wrong right now.

[Peter Sagal]

That was from a travel expert talking about the problems college students and others are facing when flying to what annual

[Rachel Koster]

ritual that would be Spring break.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, spring break is broken. Thanks to a bunch of factors, including long TSA lines due to the partial government shutdown, spring break travel has become a nightmare. It takes so long to get to your beach resort, you barely have time to black out before it's time to go home.

[Adam Felber]

I think the spring breaker should cheer up. I mean, there's so many positives to being in the frozen north during spring break. Yeah, I mean, it's much easier to clean frozen vomit.

[Peter Sagal]

You just sort of chip it away. Yeah, that's a good point.

[Adam Felber]

And you can go to those clubs where you scream for people to put on more clothes.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah. I almost feel bad for this generation, you know? Cause they had to go through, like, zoom school and then prom was social distance. And now they can't go to Mexico and get their first std.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I know.

[Adam Felber]

And yet you almost feel bad for them.

[Peter Sagal]

Almost. It would be terrible if, like, all those disasters combined into one and they had to get their STD remotely over zoom.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah.

[Rachel Koster]

I find that if you do enough Mali, you can find your beach basically anywhere. Even at your neighbor's basement or something. Whatever it takes.

[Peter Sagal]

I believe that was Molly's original slogan before Corona stole it. So that's great. Yeah. Were you guys big spring breakers when you were in school of that age?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I didn't. I went to Trinidad once for carnival, and that was super duper fun. But what had happened was I didn't do any research before I went, and the people I was staying with had cats, and I am deathly allergic. And I found that out the day I was going. So I had to bring my nebulizer. Cause I have asthma.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

So I spent all of spring break in Trinidad, half doing a nebulizer, half dancing across the stage with paint all over my face. It was a great time.

[Peter Sagal]

So you had, like, the nebulizer in one hand, the drink in the other, and you just kept alternating. Yes. That's a party to be 18 again. Yeah. All right, your next quote, Jen, is the President of the United States talking to Marco Rubio about a gift he just gave him.

[Alzo Slade]

It helps to be tall. They've got big heels.

[Peter Sagal]

The President was talking about a gift, which we found out this week he gives to all his top male staffers. What is it? It's shoes. It is shoes. The wall Street Journal broke a big story this week. The president really loves a particular kind of dress shoe, so he's been giving them out to all the men who work with him. And this is true. He doesn't ask their sizes first. He just looks and guesses, and they never correct him. So because of this, and this is all true, I swear to you all, people started looking. And so all this week, we've been seeing photos of his cabinet secretaries and senior aides sitting there next to him wearing the shoes, all looking like little kids who are dressing like their dad.

[Rachel Koster]

Part of the reason they look so uncomfortable is because they also have to wear the mandatory toe ring that he slipped in. Yeah, they're all squeezed in there.

[Peter Sagal]

Now, the exception of all this was Secretary of State Marco Rubio. He didn't look like that. He was photographed sitting in one of the shoes and as he rode it across the Potomac.

[Adam Felber]

Oh, little Marco. Well, you know, if he hadn't gotten it for them, they would have bought them for themselves.

[Peter Sagal]

Right?

[Adam Felber]

You know, because, like, they're all wearing bronzer now.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, they're all.

[Adam Felber]

Everybody's orange.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, it's like there was a photograph. They're all wearing the same shoes, they're all wearing the same suit, and they're all wearing the same long red tie. Yeah, it's like the world's worst backup band. I will say that RFK Jr. Seemed to be the only one who looked like he was wearing really nicely fitted black leather shoes. But on closer inspection, that just turned out to be his feet.

[Alzo Slade]

That's only because he didn't take the vaccine for toe fungus.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah,

[Adam Felber]

My feet are better that way.

[Peter Sagal]

Jen, for your last quote, it's an actor who seemed like he was cruising to an Oscar this weekend.

[Alzo Slade]

No one cares about opera and ballet anymore. All respect to the ballet and opera people out there.

[Peter Sagal]

So the backlash to that diss of opera and ballet all of a sudden seems to have put this actor's Oscar in doubt. Who is it?

[Rachel Koster]

I might need a hint.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, let's see. I mean, he doesn't think that opera and ballet are. Are as important and culturally significant as, say, movies about ping pong players.

[Rachel Koster]

Oh, I'm afraid I have no idea.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Oh, or chocolatiers.

[Rachel Koster]

You really live out there?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah. Jen, I am jealous.

[Peter Sagal]

Girl.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

You are protecting your peace. Girl.

[Rachel Koster]

I spend my time listening to npr.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, that's right.

[Alzo Slade]

I know that's right.

[Peter Sagal]

No, I'll give it to you. It's Timothee Chalamet, the star of Marty Supreme. Seemed pretty. Pretty Much on track to win a Best Actor Oscar. But then he really pissed off the opera and ballet people with that comment. Weird move from a guy whose own name sounds like a ballet move.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Plie releve. Chalamet.

[Adam Felber]

Yeah, I tore a hamstring doing a chalamet once.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. You gotta be young. You gotta be young and flexible to chalamet. He said this. He was talking to Matthew McConaughey, of all people, about how he did not want movies to become erased like ballet and opera. This brought an enormous clapback from people like Isabel Leonard and Sean Tester and many others that, let us be honest, you have never heard of.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

It's my personal opinion that Timothy is beefing with his sister and mother right now.

[Peter Sagal]

Turns out, yeah, they both have this strong background in dance, right?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yes. So that's why he threw that shot like that. Cause he said it after. He's like, I'm throwing shots. And I was like, oh, he must be beefing with his sister, right? To say something that crazy. Cause I don't want to do brain surgery either. Like, what are you talking about? You don't want to do ballet and opera? You can't.

[Peter Sagal]

You can't. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, opera fans, especially are making a huge ruckus. And by that, I mean their medic alert bracelets just beat because of an elevated heart rate. Health is on the way. Alzo, how did Jen do in her quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

Jen respectfully got two out of three.

[Peter Sagal]

She won. You won. Congratulations, Jen.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyel. This week we heard about something Every Whole Foods secretly has somewhere inside. What is it?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Mold?

[Peter Sagal]

No.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Is this a food item?

[Peter Sagal]

It is not a food item. It is a place. It's kind of a facility in Every Whole Foods.

[Adam Felber]

Oh, so it's not a stuffed octopus morgue.

[Peter Sagal]

That would be so awesome. That's not right. But why would you think Every Whole Foods would need a morgue?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Because I do cruise ships against my will, and every cruise ship has a morgue. I found this out.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Did y' all know that?

[Peter Sagal]

But that's because cruise ships are often at sea for a week or two or even more. And Whole Foods people are not in a Whole Foods for an entire week, so they wouldn't need a morgue. But they do need another kind of sort of a storage facility for people. It's what they do with you. If, for example, you dare to get an organic banana, but only key in the code for the conventional banana, the self scanner. Oh, they take you and they put

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

you a little jail.

[Peter Sagal]

A little jail. Every Whole Foods has a jail. Oh, my God. There is a secret windowless room in every Whole Foods that they call the Whole Foods Jail. According to a new investigation by curbed, every store has one. No one can talk about it. So think about this, people, before you commit any jackfruit related crime.

[Adam Felber]

Before you jack a jackfruit.

[Peter Sagal]

Right? This is true. After stealing a brownie from the bakery aisle in a Whole Foods, one person found herself in a room wallpapered with, quote, layers and layers of grainy faces of all the thieves that had come before me, unquote. Her photo was added to a binder. She was fined $300 and told never to return. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. $300 wasn't the fine, it was the price of the brownie.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Right.

[Adam Felber]

Interestingly, cruise ships don't have jails. It's just easier to kill you.

[Alzo Slade]

Yeah, I know.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, it's a bluff. The listener game three decades in the making, really. Call 1-8 8-8- wait wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't TELL Me from npr. This message comes from Grammarly. From emails and reports to proposals, work today demands clear thinking and confident communication. 90% of professionals say Grammarly has saved them time writing and editing their work. It helps simplify complex ideas so your message lands clearly and quickly. This is AI that works with you, not over you. In a world of generic AI, don't sound like everyone else. With Grammarly, you never will. Download Grammarly for [e-mail].

[Alzo Slade]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Don't TELL me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Joyell, Nicole Johnson, Rachel Koster, and Adam Felber. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Alzo. Thank you so much, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, don't tell me bluff the listener game. Call 1-88-wait- wait to play our game on the air. Hi. You were on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me.

[Listener/Caller]

Hi, this is Tara calling from Boise, Idaho.

[Peter Sagal]

Boise, Idaho, a place I've never been. What do you do there?

[Listener/Caller]

I am a registered dietitian. I work at a small hospital and I do telehealth from home when I'm not managing kids and family well, that's important.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm a father of two young children. And as a dietitian and a parent, I have a question. Were you actually able to get your kids to eat healthy food?

[Listener/Caller]

Actually, yes.

[Peter Sagal]

How did you do it? Threats.

[Listener/Caller]

So, Peter, it takes at least 12 exposures to a new food for children to often even try them.

[Peter Sagal]

So if I do this and we get to the 13th try, I can be like, no, Tara said you have to eat it now.

[Listener/Caller]

Yes, yes. You've done your duty. You forget it after you've taken nuggets

[Peter Sagal]

from then on out. I'll try it as soon as I get home. Thank you so much, Tara, for that advice. Now, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Alzo, what is Tara's topic?

[Alzo Slade]

30 years in the making.

[Peter Sagal]

So this week we read about someone meeting a rather extraordinary goal that they said spent 30 years working on. And I'm not talking about me keeping this job despite being completely unqualified. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one telling the truth and you'll win the weight waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

[Listener/Caller]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay. First, let's hear from Joyell Nicole Johnson.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Joyce and David Sinclair of Stone Mountain, Georgia were married in the olden days. 1996. Most couples freeze their wedding cake and eat it on their one year anniversary. However, Joyce and David had to move overseas before their celebration. So for safekeeping, they put their cake in a cold storage facility in Georgia, aptly named Frosty the Storage Man. Years later, when they returned to the States, they found Frosty had gone bankrupt and everything in its freezers had vanished. When their daughter Nikki came of age, she found herself obsessed with the cake mystery. And in a years long search, she finally solved it. The cake had been moved to a bunker in Alaska after being mistaken for nuclear waste. She flew to Alaska and after proving to the soldier manning the bunker that the cake wasn't dangerous to mankind, she was able to bring it home. Surprisingly, the cake tasted the exact same way it did 30 years prior. Turns out vanilla really does just mean tasteless.

[Peter Sagal]

A wedding cake lost for 30 years, finally enjoyed by the happy couple. Your next story of a 30 year plan comes from Adam Felber.

[Adam Felber]

Ever since he was a young man in the 70s, Jimmy Rush loved going to Winchell's Oyster House in Mobile, Alabama with his family. But sometime in the 90s, that love became an obsession of sorts. And that obsession's name was Free Oysters. See, there was a sign on the wall free oysters to any man, 80 years old. Accompanied by his father, the Rushes took note. The years passed and the family moved away, but always visited on their way to Mardi Gras. And still that sign haunted him until this week when on his 80th birthday, Jimmy walked in with his dad and a large group to claim their prize. Was it worth it? You bet your ass it was. Again, free oysters. The bartender and the staff were stunned. Never thought about any birthday except my 80th, Jimmy says. But the story's not over. His brother Carl added, we will be back to do this all over again in 2028 when I turn 80. My dad says he's gonna make it, and that's good enough for me.

[John Cusack]

A man

[Peter Sagal]

waits 30 years to get his free oysters by bringing his dad to celebrate his 80th birthday. Your last story of three decades of determination comes from Rachel Koster.

[Rachel Koster]

In a feat of athletic prowess that his wife is calling annoying and dumb, local man Neil Shafer, 51, of Masquebuzz, New York, successfully completed a five second unassisted keg stand in his garage last Saturday. Shaffer's obsession started during his junior year of college when his frat brother, Mikey Lambrusco, challenged the then out of shape boy to an unassisted handstand on a keg of Bud Light. He struggled for a few attempts before giving up. It was humiliating to watch, said Lambrusco. Since then, Shaver had been determined to achieve his dream, putting more effort into this than pretty much anything else in his life. On Saturday, he gathered his family next to his Honda Civic in the garage and accomplished the impossible. I was worried he was gonna pass out or puke in front of the kids, so I'm kinda glad he just didn't do that, said his wife, Shannon. I've accomplished my biggest dream, said Schaeffer. Drinking bad beer upside down.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here are your choices. Somebody waited 30 years to do something. What was it? Was it from Joyell Nicole Johnson, a couple that waited 30 years before they could celebrate an anniversary by eating some of their wedding cake? From Adam Felber, a guy who waited 30 years to get free oysters by going into an oyster bar at the age of 80 with his dad with him? Or from Rachel Coster, a guy who spent 30 years practicing but finally did that keg stand he couldn't do in college? Which of these is the real story we found in the news?

[Listener/Caller]

I'm going to have to go with Adam's story about the oysters I think

[Peter Sagal]

we're going to go with Adam's story about the man who got free oysters by showing up at the age of 80 with his 99 year old dad. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who covered this real story. They went to cash in the sign that says free oysters to any man 80 years old, accompanied by his father. That was Joseph Lamour, a food reporter at the Today show, talking about the oyster special that was finally claimed. Congratulations, Tara. You got it right. You earned a point for Adam just for telling a story in a convincing way. And you've won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Well done. Congratulations, Tara.

[Listener/Caller]

Thank you so much for having me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thanks so much. Take care.

[Listener/Caller]

Thank you.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Bye bye.

[Peter Sagal]

And now the game where we ask famous people, people about obscure things. We call it Not My Job. John Cusack made his first movie, a short about managing life in high school when he was still a student at Evanston Township High School, north of Chicago.

[John Cusack]

Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

From that amazing start, he went on to star in some of the iconic movies of the last 40 years. High fidelity, the Grifters, Being John Malkovich, Hot Tub Time Machine, and of course, say Anything. He still lives here in Chicago and now he's written his first graphic novel, John Cusack. Welcome to Wait Wait, Don't Time.

[John Cusack]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Pretty excited to see you.

[John Cusack]

Thanks for having me.

[Peter Sagal]

I have a habit when I'm talking to actors with astonishingly long and varied careers like yours of asking what role they're most recognized for. But since I started this show with a say anything joke, do people, like, ask you to either pretend to hold the boombox up like Lloyd did in the movie, or do they ever do that to you?

[John Cusack]

No, I haven't had them do it to me, but they have asked me to hold it up. But I tell them I only do that at parties. But there's been a strong reaction to that character at times.

[Alzo Slade]

But there are no boomboxes anymore, so they just ask you to hold their iPhone up.

[Peter Sagal]

So I told my wife that you were going to be in the show, and I saw a look in her face I've never seen before, and she's like, John Cusack, really? And she told me that your character Lloyd, holding that boombox just absolutely blew her away. It was the most romantic thing she had ever seen. And I polled all the women I know and they all agreed.

[John Cusack]

Well, as I said, people like that character in that film a lot, which is pretty cool. Live Nation still does some screenings of the movie. And we do a Q and A afterwards and people get pretty rowdy, which is fun. And a guy came up to the mic right over there and he said, my wife left me because she said I wasn't you now. I sort of had the look that you're facing.

[Peter Sagal]

I know. Well, you're thinking about my look and your look. I'm thinking about that look my wife gave me. I mentioned earlier, you gotta go home. Gotta go, guys.

[John Cusack]

But the gentleman stopped and then he said, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. And he literally dropped the mic. And I thought that kind of covers the whole gamut.

[Peter Sagal]

I know this is a very tough question. I was thinking about your movie career. I know I have a favorite movie of yours, which in my case would be Being John Malkovich. Do you have a favorite of all the ones you've done? And I know there are a lot, and a lot of great ones.

[John Cusack]

You know, I sort of think back on them and they're sort of like a little bit of a fever dream. And some of the ones that I wrote, Crosspoints, blank. Yeah, that's a fun one. That was a great one. That's a fun one. I think just because that kind of black comedy done that much.

[Peter Sagal]

That's the movie in which you play a hitman who goes back to his, if I'm not mistaken, tenth high school reunion.

[John Cusack]

I think it was his. Yeah, it was 10th.

[Peter Sagal]

No, no, 10th.

[John Cusack]

It was 10th.

[Peter Sagal]

And I'm told that that was inspired by you actually attending your own high school reunion in Evanston.

[John Cusack]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

And you were like, so there you're back and you're by that time a very accomplished and well known actor. And did you really say to yourself and discuss with your collaborators in the film, you know, it'd be really cool if I was a hitman.

[John Cusack]

Well, I thought I wrote the script and I said, well, if we get funding for this, that's the only way I'll go to my 10 year high school reunion.

[Peter Sagal]

Really? As research? Yes. Oh, wow.

[John Cusack]

I didn't think we'd get the funding, but then we did, so I had to go.

[Alzo Slade]

I thought you were going to say you were inspired after going to your high school reunion, because when you went there, you were like, I can't stand any of these fools.

[Adam Felber]

What this place needs is a hitman.

[Peter Sagal]

You still live here in Chicago where you grew up, which I think is great.

[John Cusack]

I do.

[Peter Sagal]

See, and that is not a choice that a lot of people who get very successful in the entertainment business make. Why did you stay here or come back, perhaps?

[John Cusack]

Have you been to la?

[Peter Sagal]

I have, yeah.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

And.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I guess we don't really need to talk about that anymore. And I love this. You get around Chicago by scooter.

[John Cusack]

It's true.

[Peter Sagal]

When you're riding up and down in your scooter, do, like, people ever, like, pull up to you in Division and look at you and go, hey, it's John Cusack.

[John Cusack]

Yeah. Every once in a while.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[John Cusack]

Yeah. In a car.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[John Cusack]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

And this is Chicago. They're going to be cool about it, right?

[John Cusack]

Everyone's so cool about it.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Cusack]

They're basically. They just go like, oh, hey, that's

[Peter Sagal]

the Chicago one, which I love about. I heard this. I might get your assistant in trouble because we were talking about, oh, when's John getting here? He's coming in as Vespa, and she told me that your Vespa, which is a beautiful old Italian scooter, runs on gasoline, but not very much at a time. Right. It's got a small gas tank. And so she told me you have, like, a bottle filled with gasoline.

[John Cusack]

That might be true, although that might be too much information for Malik to be given out.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm like, okay, so you're riding around your Vespa and you're like, oh, I'm running out of gas. Reach into the pocket, pull out the bottle.

[John Cusack]

I don't even know if what I'm doing is legal, but it doesn't sound it. Yeah.

[Alzo Slade]

Peter, you're a snitch.

[Peter Sagal]

I know you are. I feel terrible. You've written a graphic novel. I grew up reading this kind of graphic novel. Very big in Europe, in your case. This graphic novel is about 300 pages long, and it features sex, violence, drugs, aliens, Jackie Gleason, and a plot centered around the very real French avant garde artist and philosopher, Antonin Artaud. So you've sold out and gone mainstream.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Yeah.

[John Cusack]

Well, just think of a metaphysical crime movie mixed with like, kind of a drug mule movie mixed with E.T. so I think French Connection meets E.T. meets my dinner With Andre meets Smokey and the Bandit meets the Mike Douglas Show.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Right.

[Adam Felber]

Another of those.

[Alzo Slade]

Yes.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

All right. Not again.

[Peter Sagal]

It's a shame to see an actor put on the shelf become so derivative

[John Cusack]

at the end of his career. Origin of it was, I loved this. I, like, love this artist, Arto. And then I thought, well, it's. No one is going. No one's going to give me money to make that movie yet. But if I write a graphic novel, I always believe in the possibility of Possible.

[Peter Sagal]

Sure. It's pretty funny and very bizarre, and I recommend it to everybody.

[John Cusack]

Oh, thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

It's really something.

[John Cusack]

Thank you for reading it.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, my pleasure. I know, speaking for myself, I could talk to you all day, but we have business to do. John Cusack, we are thrilled to have you here, and we have invited you here to play a game we're calling say Nothing. As we discussed, we started the iconic movie say Anything. So we thought we'd ask you about people who should have kept their mouths shut. Answer two to three questions about some unwise statements, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is the legendary John Cusack playing for?

[Alzo Slade]

Jill Farrell of Beaverton, Oregon.

[Peter Sagal]

All right.

[John Cusack]

I'm gonna do my best for you, Jill Beaverton. Here you go.

[Peter Sagal]

Here's your first question. Gerald Ratner was the head of Ratner's Great Britain's largest jewelry store chain when he unfortunately called his own company's products quote, crap. How did he try to undo the damage? Was it A, by trying to convince people that crap was a slang word he learned from his kids that meant really great? B, by having all his company's stores put up a sign in the window saying what we mean by crap? Cheap, reliable and affordable prices? Or C, by saying, quote, producing crap is a universal part of the human experience?

[John Cusack]

I'm gonna follow the wisdom of the good and great Jason Benetti.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[John Cusack]

On the show last week, always pick B.

[Peter Sagal]

And you and Jason are right, it is in fact B. His plan was to put up a sign saying crap means cheap, reliable and affordable prices. It did not work and he had to step down from the company. And to this day, according to these, one source we found in the United Kingdom, saying something really stupid and self destructive for no reason is still called pulling a Ratner. Wow, that was really good. Here's your next question. In 2005, former French President Jacques Chirac caused a diplomatic incident with the UK when he made a comment to Vladimir Putin. Putin that was caught on a hot mic. What did he say about the British? A, you can't trust people who cook as badly as that. B, look, they were once conquered by us. How tough can they be? Or C, they think they're all Winston Churchill, but they're really just Benny Hill.

[John Cusack]

Now, here's a problem.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[John Cusack]

Can I say what I want to pick?

[Alzo Slade]

You want it?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. This is your game.

[John Cusack]

I want it to be C, but I think it's A.

[Peter Sagal]

And you're right, it was A. Yeah.

[John Cusack]

Nice.

[Peter Sagal]

Of course he's French. Of course he's going to insult their cooking. He also said, of course he's French

[Adam Felber]

and he's not going to know who Benny Hill is.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Also true. He also said on the same Hut mic incident that the only thing the British had contributed to agriculture was mad cow disease. So you're doing really well. Here's your last question. A lot of sports broadcasts, as I know you know, mic the crowd as well as the announcers. And sometimes it can backfire, as at a lacrosse game between Sacred Heart University and Siena College last year when the mic picked up one Siena fan yelling, what? That made the ESPN broadcast. Was it, A, we wish we were watching football, B, stab them in the Sacred Heart, or C, Sacred Heart has diarrhea.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Wow, wow, wow.

[John Cusack]

I mean, I want all of them.

[Peter Sagal]

They really do. Yeah. Different sections doing different chants.

[John Cusack]

You know, I think based on the state of America, it must be C.

[Peter Sagal]

It is C. Yeah. That's what he said.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

That's smart.

[Peter Sagal]

The chant from a Siena fan who found the mic and ran up to it and yelled into it. It was hard to make out, but helpfully, one of the ESPN announcers said they're chanting, sacred Heart has diarrhea.

[John Cusack]

I'm sure he got a bonus that he did.

[Peter Sagal]

Alzo, how did John Cusack do in our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

He said something. He got three out of three. He's a winner.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. John Cusack is an actor, writer and producer. His new graphic novel Momo is available now. He's also a proud Chicago guy. John Cusack, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much. John Cusack, everybody. In just a minute, we'll feel the churn in our Listener Limber Challenge game. Call one Triple eight Wait Wait. To join you in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait, don't tell me. From npr,

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

This message comes from Midi Health Co founders Joanna Strober and Dr. Kathleen Jordan discuss why they started a virtual care platform to empower and educate women in perimenopause and menopause.

[I]

Historically, perimenopause and menopause have been very stigmatizing, so people haven't wanted to admit that they are in perimenopause and menopause as though it was, like, embarrassing, which is insane. It's just something happening to your body. So one of the things that we're trying to do is destigmatize these topics. Perimenopause and menopause are just women's health, so we try to educate women all the time. Maybe it's your hormones and we would like to help you.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. And I find women actually want to talk about it. It's one of the things they always comment at MIDI is that they finally feel heard. One of the ways that people women find midi is actually from other women. And I think it's meaningful.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Midi Health committed to helping women in midlife with perimenopause and menopause care, accessible via telehealth visits at. Join MIDI.com.

[Alzo Slade]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Joyel, Nicole Johnson and Rachel Coster. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thanks, Alzo. St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day, big deal here in Chicago is coming up in a few days. So remember, if you get the limericks wrong this week, you go to hell. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Rachel. This week the New York Times reported on a growing epidemic of extremely unflattering photos of women. Taken by whom?

[Rachel Koster]

The men in their lives.

[Peter Sagal]

The men in their lives?

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Their boyfriends and husbands. Yes. You've all seen one of these boyfriend photos. They're the ones that make the woman say, finally, I know what my face would look like without bones. So the latest thing is women on TikTok and Instagram are sharing horrific photos that their husbands or boyfriends took of them. The actor Kerry Washington, for example, posted a bunch of them and said, I thought I looked pretty. Then I opened my husband's camera roll.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I don't trust straight men to take pictures. Really.

[Peter Sagal]

They have the eyes on.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I don't y' all don't never know the camera angle be all the way down here. It's blurry. I'm backlit. I don't trust it. You gotta get you a good gay man to take a picture, girl. You be nice and glossy.

[Peter Sagal]

So when you and your boyfriend, who I know and like when you're out, like on the town, do you always bring, like a gay friend to do the photography?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Oh, no, he's queer. He takes beautiful pictures.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay.

[Adam Felber]

You know, I find that so offensive and accurate.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

And tip straight men high angles. High angles. All right.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Looking down.

[Adam Felber]

Looking down.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Get up in the balcony, and she.

[Alzo Slade]

But why do you all keep asking us to testify?

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

I don't.

[Rachel Koster]

There's no one else there.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Elza.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I do not testify.

[Rachel Koster]

There's no one else there. We're not allowed to invite our friends over anymore because they're annoying.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Adam Felber]

Wow. That felt personal.

[Rachel Koster]

I'm sorry.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I'm sorry.

[Rachel Koster]

I'm sorry. My friends are annoying.

[Peter Sagal]

Adam. This week we learned about a new problem threatening many marriages. People are starting to speak out about the struggle of being married to a. What?

[Adam Felber]

Okay, so the struggle of being married to a what?

[Peter Sagal]

This is not a problem when both of you are like this. It's more of a problem when just

[Adam Felber]

one is somebody who works at home.

[Peter Sagal]

No. I'll give you a hint. You should have known when they wanted to get married at Space Mountain.

[Adam Felber]

Disney fan.

[Peter Sagal]

A Disney adult. Yeah, right. An adult Disney fan. In an article in New York magazine this week, exasperated spouses shared the struggles of being married to a Disney. Disney adult when they are not one. If you haven't heard of a Disney

[Adam Felber]

adult before, I was about to press it here.

[Peter Sagal]

A Disney adult. It's basically an adult who was bullied either too much or not enough as a child. And I've known some. These are adults who are really, really into Disney.

[Adam Felber]

Oh, I know some.

[Peter Sagal]

You know, some, too. And like I said, two Disney adults. Marry each other, find each other. That's great. Giga's in. Enjoy your life. The problem is when one of them keeps it a second secret after they're married, Right? You marry somebody, you think they're normal. Then one night they say. One night they say, oh, come in. I have a surprise for you. And you go in, and they're lying on the bed wearing the ears.

[Alzo Slade]

Oh, yeah. And not on their head.

[Adam Felber]

Worst moment of my first marriage.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

The first. Can you keep that a secret, though? That's crazy.

[Peter Sagal]

That's. That's. I mean, like, can you. From courtship through marriage, you know?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

That's tricky. How do you keep that a secret?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah. Because that bill's on your credit card every year.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, that's a big bill. It's weird, you know, like, they disappear for, like, long weekends. You know, you're like, I wished you

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

were cheating on me.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. No, no, they were just.

[Adam Felber]

You know, you should. You can screen your dates before you make the mistake of marrying a Disney person. You know, you could just be like, you know, just throw out in conversation, hi, ho. See what happens.

[Alzo Slade]

You can't say that to a woman.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

You can't say that to a black woman fair.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, it's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can come see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago and catch us on the road. We will be in beautiful Savannah, Georgia on March 26 and in San Diego on April 30. For tickets and information to all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org hi everyone. Wait, don't tell me.

[Listener/Caller]

Hi, my name is Katie Orc. I live in Edgewood, Maryland.

[Peter Sagal]

Edgewood, Maryland? Where is that exactly?

[Listener/Caller]

About a half hour outside of Baltimore.

[Peter Sagal]

Baltimore. Baltimore is a fun city. Do you enjoy it there?

[Listener/Caller]

I do, yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

What is your favorite thing about Baltimore?

[Listener/Caller]

Ooh, there's lots to choose from. Probably some of the sweets like egg custard, snow cones and burgers, chocolate cookies.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah, those are great things. Well, welcome to our show. Katie Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis. This week is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly and two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to play?

[Listener/Caller]

Yep, ready.

[Peter Sagal]

Here is your first limerick.

[Alzo Slade]

I run till I wheeze and I sputter heavy cream. In this bag goes a flutter. My legs and arms turn and I act like a churn as I run. I am making some butter.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, butter. If you are tired of your exercise routine failing to create any butter, we have good news. Oh, good. Finally, a runner went viral this week when she shared how you yes, you can churn butter while running. You just pour heavy cream into a Ziploc bag and then, quote, secure the bag inside your running vest. It's pretty simple, although not as simple as running to the store.

[Adam Felber]

Peter, you're a runner. You want to try this?

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, I'm never in my life, but I'm really, I'm thinking about it because how great would it be to like finish a, you know, grueling 15 mile training run? And right then I could refresh myself with some nice thick butter.

[Rachel Koster]

If you're just like jogging, does it only take turn into whipped cream?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I think so. Here is your next limerick.

[Alzo Slade]

Watching videos loudly will spread groans. It makes passenger anger hit red zones. Now united's new rules will not suffer. Those fools, they can't fly if they're not using their phones.

[Peter Sagal]

Headphones. Yes. United Airlines announced that they will now kick you off your flight or even ban you from the airline forever if you listen to music or watch TV in the flight without headphones. Yeah.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Yes.

[Rachel Koster]

I feel like one of the best parts of flying is like, watching your neighbor's TV or listening to whatever they're listening to on audiobook.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Rachel Koster]

Yeah. Sometimes I forget to bring stuff or I run out of charger halfway through. And it's nice to just let someone else provide.

[John Cusack]

It is.

[Adam Felber]

It is.

[Peter Sagal]

It is a rule of human behavior that what somebody else is watching on the airplane is far more interesting than what you're watching.

[Adam Felber]

Yeah.

[Alzo Slade]

Rachel's on the plane snatching people's headphones off, saying, you're being selfish right now.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I mean, this sounds. It doesn't sound like United behavior. This sounds like spirit behavior. Like, I can't believe it. See, I'm the type of person. I'll say something to you. This is why I can't ride subway in New York. Because I will get into a fight. Like, it's my biggest pet peeve. If somebody is listening to something without the.

[Alzo Slade]

What do you say?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Stop.

[Adam Felber]

Okay.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

What's wrong with you?

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here is your last limerick

[Alzo Slade]

after matchas and chais that it bought her. Here's a new trend the Internet taught her. It helps her digest, and there's less to invest. She just boils and drinks some hot water.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, water. Drinking hot water in the morning is the new Internet hack for gut health. People say hot water in the morning can help speed your digestion. That's particularly true if the hot water has coffee in it.

[Rachel Koster]

We really are in a recession.

[Peter Sagal]

We really are. Influencers say hot water is the perfect drink if you want to rid yourself of toxins and quote de bloat. It's weird.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I started doing this.

[Peter Sagal]

You started drinking hot water in the morning?

[Adam Felber]

Yeah, because what's it doing for you?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I don't want to tell everybody.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, carbon.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

But yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Really? Yeah. It's a different something about it, but the Asian girlies told me to do it, and they look amazing, so I listen to anything they say.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

If they told you to jump off a cliff, what you doing?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Let's end this.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay. Alzo, how did Katie do in our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

They got three out of three. A winner.

[Peter Sagal]

Well done, Katie. Congratulations.

[Listener/Caller]

Thank you.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

This message comes from BetterHelp International Women's Day. Is this March time to celebrate all women. The leaders, the caregivers, the hype, friends, the how do you do it? All types. Women deserve to be reminded how much they matter and that therapy offers a space to care for themselves. BetterHelp makes it simple by matching you with a qualified therapist based on your needs and preferences. Visit betterhelp.com NPR for 10% off.

[Peter Sagal]

Now, on to our final game. Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth 2 points. Alzo, can you give us the scores?

[Alzo Slade]

Absolutely. Rachel has one.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Yes.

[Rachel Koster]

Knew it.

[Alzo Slade]

Joyel, don't laugh. Joyel, don't laugh too much because you have two. And Adam has a whopping five points.

[Peter Sagal]

What?

[Rachel Koster]

What?

[Peter Sagal]

No, that ain't right. Can you share? All right. That means Rachel. Yes. You're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Pentagon reported that the war with blank had already cost $11 billion.

[Rachel Koster]

Iran.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Sunday, police confirmed that an explosive device was thrown outside the home of New York Mayor Blank. Right. Thanks to a rise in colon cancer. For people under 50. More experts say the recommended age to start getting blanks. Yes. During severe storms on Tuesday, several states reported softball size blank hail. Yes. Hail softball sized tornadoes. They're so cute. They're adorable. This week, a man was arrested at an airport in Kenya after he was

[Rachel Koster]

caught smuggling blank a dead monkey.

[Peter Sagal]

No. 2000 live ants. On Wednesday, astronomers reported that they may have witnessed two blanks colliding.

[Rachel Koster]

Asteroids?

[Peter Sagal]

No. Planets. On Tuesday, officials said NASA's mission to the blank would likely face more delays.

[Rachel Koster]

Moon.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, a Russian man who'd been away from his apartment for three years returned to find blank living there.

[Rachel Koster]

An old friend?

[Peter Sagal]

No. Hundreds and hundreds of pigeons not as good. They came and threw a window he had left open before he left. And if you've ever seen the sidewalk beneath a highway overpass, picture that. But everything you own, sometimes all you can do is back slowly out of the front door and say it was a good home, but it belongs to the pigeons now. Alzo, how did Rachel do in our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

She did pretty good. She got five right for 10 more points, which gives her a total of 11.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

All right. That was very good. Joyell.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah, buddy.

[Peter Sagal]

Joyell, you're up next. Here we go. This week, industry analysts said the average blank prices could soon rise above $4 a gallon.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Milk

[Peter Sagal]

gas prices. This week, a medical trial found a pill that can improve blank by 50% without a CPAP machine.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Sleep.

[Peter Sagal]

Sleep.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Snoring condition.

[Peter Sagal]

I'll give it to you.

[Announcer/Commercial Voice]

Sleep apnea.

[Peter Sagal]

Sleep apnea? Yeah. According to new research, taking a daily blank may slow the aging process. Pill?

[Alzo Slade]

Sure.

[Peter Sagal]

What the hell. Multivitamin. On Wednesday, the lineup for the MMA fight at the Blank was revealed.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

That's the square gone.

[Adam Felber]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

The White House officials in Georgia are asking parents to double check when they're packing their kids lunches since one elementary school starts accidentally brought blank as a drink for lunch.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Ooh, it was like an alcohol cooler or something like that.

[Peter Sagal]

That's close enough. It was a martini. Yeah, the canned lemon drop martini looked exactly like a soda, so the mistake was understandable. The martini was taken from the student before he could become the coolest kid in the third grade. But he was able to get his jar of blue cheese olives and his pack of smokes. Alo. How did Joyel do in our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

She did all right. She got three right for six more points. A total of eight, which means Rachel is still in the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

How many then does Adam need to slip up and take it from her?

[Alzo Slade]

3 to tie, 4 to win.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Adam, this is for the game. Fill in the blank on the. On Sunday, Mojtaba Khomeini was named the new supreme leader of Blank Iran.

[Alzo Slade]

Right.

[Peter Sagal]

According to new data, the US economy lost 92,000 blanks in February. Right. With Michigan confirming their first case of 2026. On Monday, the spread of blank continued.

[Adam Felber]

Measles.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. According to new data, adult blank use reached a Record low in 2024.

[Adam Felber]

Phone.

[Peter Sagal]

No cigarette use. This week, a man at a fishing tournament in Texas was arrested after he was caught blank

[Adam Felber]

smuggling fish?

[Peter Sagal]

No, after he was caught putting weights inside the fish he caught to cheat at a tournament.

[Adam Felber]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Peter Sagal]

On Thursday, Netflix confirmed it had green lit a sequel to the hit animated film Blank.

[Alzo Slade]

Oh, the.

[Adam Felber]

The K Pop Demon Hunter.

[Peter Sagal]

That's the one. On Thursday, Apple began selling their new $600 blank shirt. I'd believe it if they were, but it's a laptop. This week, the mayor of a town in Texas who thought he was running for re election unopposed was shocked when Blank entered the race.

[Alzo Slade]

His mom?

[Peter Sagal]

No. A candidate named, quote, literally anybody else.

[John Cusack]

Fair.

[Rachel Koster]

Brutal.

[Peter Sagal]

The new candidate, who had his name legally changed to literally anybody else in 2024 is shaking up the race for mayor in North Richland Hills, Texas. That said, he may also face an uphill battle as the race now is the third candidate. Someone named that one guy from that commercial. You know you love that guy. Alzo did Adam do well enough to win?

[Alzo Slade]

Well, he got four right for eight more points, a total of 13, which gives him one more point than Rachel and the win.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow.

[Adam Felber]

I would like to share this.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm happy. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict the big surprising moment at this weekend's Oscars. But first, let me tell you all. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord Philip Gauticke writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Meal, Miles Doornbost and Lillian King. Special thanks to Mahanna Delshehy and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is a man of much talents. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical directionist and Lorna Weider. Special thanks this week to Travis Hagen. Our CFO is Colin Miller, our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillock and the executive producer, Wait, wait, don't tell me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, who is going to surprise us at the Oscars. Rachel Koster, Kylie Jenner is going to

[Rachel Koster]

do the Carmina Barana on pointe.

[Adam Felber]

Adam Faulbet, a contrite Timothee Chalamet will walk the red carpet in a tutu and Viking helmet.

[Peter Sagal]

And Joyell Nicole Johnson, after her performance

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

celebrating sinners, black ballerina Misty Copeland will slap Timothee Chalamet in the face.

[Alzo Slade]

And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

I Slade thanks also to Rachel Costner, Adam Felber, Joyel, Nicole Johnson, thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. Thank you all for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal and we'll be back with Bill Curtis next week. This is npr.

[Adam Felber]

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