Librarian Mychal Threets talks rebooting Reading Rainbow and our panel eats goo

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
Host: Peter Sagal (NPR)
Episode: Librarian Mychal Threets Talks Rebooting Reading Rainbow and Our Panel Eats Goo
Date: February 7, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of NPR’s “Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me!” blends news quiz hijinks, panelist banter, and celebrity guest fun. The main highlight is an in-depth chat with Mychal Threets, new host of the rebooted Reading Rainbow and viral librarian, who enthusiastically discusses book joy, tattooed favorites, and inspiring reluctant readers. News and pop culture moments riffed on include the Super Bowl, the rise of “Nutrient Goo,” government coal mascots, and middle airplane seat appreciation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Segment: Quiz and Banter (01:18–14:45)

• Panelists: Tom Beaudet, Josh Gondelman, Tig Notaro.
• Super Bowl Chatter:
  • Fiercely debated as “Starbucks vs. Dunkin’”; panel quips about teams, Taylor Swift, and Patriots fandom.
  • “For example, out of more than 100 players on both rosters, not a single one of them is engaged to Taylor Swift.” —Peter Sagal (03:51)
• Coley the Coal Mascot:
  • US Dept. of Interior’s new “Coley” (a cartoon lump of coal) is both mocked and dissected.
  • “Coley is definitely looking at a trademark lawsuit from E. Coli, the mascot of diarrhea.” —Peter Sagal (08:20)
• Nutrient Goo Trend:
  • The growing trend of meal-replacement “goos” is lampooned.
  • “Why do we only get the parts of the future that stink? …no pizza soup.” —Listener/Panelist (09:52, 09:57)

2. Panel Games and Listener Calls (14:48–21:19)

Bluff the Listener

• Secret Exposed Segment:
  • The real story: Boxer Jerrell Miller loses his toupee mid-fight, surprising the crowd and himself.
    • “I wasn’t sure it was coming off, but I felt a draft like AC hitting my scalp…” — attributed as Miller via Josh Gondelman’s storytelling (16:05)
• Humorous fake stories about Miss Manners’ wild youth and Justin Bieber moonlighting as “Vladislav” the Uber driver.

3. Interview: Mychal Threets–Rebooting Reading Rainbow (21:24–31:44)

Childhood Reading to TV Hosting:

• Mychal shares his lifelong love for LeVar Burton and Reading Rainbow.
  • “LeVar Burton is one of my all-time favorite human beings in the entire world... I’m the biggest LeVar Burton fan in the entire world.” —Mychal Threets (22:04)
• Has not met LeVar yet, but wants to do him proud on the show’s YouTube reboot.

Tattoos & Library Life:

• Full tattoo sleeve of his favorite children’s books—including Where the Wild Things Are and a library card for Arthur from PBS.
• Progressed from getting his first library card as a child to becoming the head librarian at his hometown library.

Book-Related Oddities:

• Found receipts, a Social Security card, and even baloney used as bookmarks!
  • “I pulled some baloney out of a book before.” —Mychal Threets (26:14)

Encouraging Young Readers:

• Connects kids’ interests (Spider-Man hats, K-pop shirts, football jerseys) to books.
  • “The magic of books is just saying, you know what you can read?... And they’re like, are you sure? Because every other adult says that's not okay. And I'm like, they're wrong. Read away.” —Mychal Threets (27:39)

Panel Fun & Shushing Stories:

• Mychal’s been shushed “by 12-15 people in his own library,” per librarian rite of passage.

Notable Quote:

• “Reading is reading. You’re a worthy reader.” —Mychal Threets (27:39)

4. Not My Job Game: Taste the Rainbow (Skittles Edition) (28:06–31:44)

• Mychal is quizzed on odd Skittles trivia (e.g., “zombie” and suppository flavors, the Skittles-milking giraffe commercial).
• Wins the game for listener Isaac Lewis.

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Other Highlights

Comedic Panel Bits

• Middle Seat Fetishists: Quirky travelers in love with the middle airplane seat; “midair cuddle you don’t deserve but are privileged to have.” (11:06)
• Rising Jeffrey Name Shame: Men named Jeffrey now prefer “Jeff” to escape bad associations (Epstein, Dahmer).
• Poetry Voice Parody: Panel impersonates the dramatic “poet voice,” debates if all poetry is “just regular writing with extra pauses.” (37:01)

Limerick Challenge & Lightning Round

• Featured wild tech (drone umbrellas), cat vs. dog lodging policies, and film students lacking patience to finish movies.
• News Quiz Winner: Josh Gondelman clinches the week’s contest.

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Memorable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Patriots Hatred:
  “And everybody hated the Patriots for a long time. And that just made me stronger.” —Listener/Contestant Nathan (04:39)

• On Coley the Coal Mascot:
  “Coley is definitely looking at a trademark lawsuit from E. Coli, the mascot of diarrhea.” —Peter Sagal (08:20)

• On Nutrient Goo:
  “Why do we only get the parts of the future that stink?” —Listener (09:52)
  “No pizza soup.” —Peter Sagal (10:03)

• Mychal Threets on Reading Rainbow:
  “I’m just trying to make [LeVar Burton] proud with my obnoxious enthusiasm for libraries and literacy and books.” (22:40)

• On Book Tattoos:
  “I have a library card of Arthur Reed from PBS tattooed on me.” —Mychal Threets (23:50)

• On Shushing:
  “You're not a true library person until you've been shushed by someone visiting the library.” —Mychal Threets (25:03)

• On Book Recommendations:
  “You can read Dogman 1000 times. And they're like, are you sure? Because every other adult says, that's not okay. And I'm like, they're wrong. Read away.” —Mychal Threets (27:39)

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Key Segments by Timestamp

• 01:18 — Panel, host intro & setup
• 03:38 — News quiz begins (“Who’s Bill this time?”)
• 08:50 — Panel mocks “nutrient goo” and futuristic food trends
• 14:48 — Bluff the Listener game
• 21:24 — Mychal Threets interview (Reading Rainbow focus)
• 28:06 — “Not My Job” (Skittles game)
• 33:07 — Panel game continues (Jeffrey name shame, poetry voice)
• 39:21 — Listener Limerick Challenge
• 44:45 — Lightning fill-in-the-blank round

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Tone & Style

• Playful, witty, and quick with pop culture and nerd references.
• Features affectionate ribbing, deadpan asides (notably from Tig Notaro), and good-natured panel camaraderie.
• Mychal Threets brings heartfelt, cheerful enthusiasm, especially regarding libraries, books, and literacy advocacy.

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Concluding Thoughts

This episode is a blend of riotous news-game humor and genuine affection for reading and public libraries, capped by an especially engaging appearance from Mychal Threets. The combination of comic wit and feel-good inspiration makes it both entertaining and uplifting, marking Reading Rainbow’s reboot as a cause for celebration.

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For more, including bonus content and sponsor-free listening, check out Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me!+

Transcript

[Sponsor Announcer]

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[Peter Sagal]

Hey, just a quick note for our listeners. If you've been listening to us for a while but haven't hit the follow button on us yet, then we're in what the kids call a situationship. Sure, we laugh, we cry, we laugh, cry with each other every week, but there's no commitment now. We have to think about the future because, remember, someday neither of us will be this hot. If you're ready to level up our relationship, because I am, it's time to hit that follow button on your podcast app. You'll be rewarded with our latest episodes as soon as they're out. And, of course, the warm comfort of knowing we will be there for each other when things start to sag.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't TELL Me, the NPR News quiz. I'm the reason everybody's throwing Super Bill parties this weekend, Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. You're very kind. We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Michael Threeitz. He is the new host of the rebooted Reading Rainbow. This will be a treat for those of you who spent your childhood in libraries instead of playing sports or getting invited to fun parties, which let me check our latest audience data. That is, it's all of you, so you'll enjoy this. But first, we want to see if your reading has prepared you to answer some questions about the week's news. So give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Listener/Contestant]

Hi, it's Nathan from Overland Park, Kansas.

[Peter Sagal]

Overland Park, Kansas.

[Michael Threitz]

Heard of it?

[Peter Sagal]

What do you do there? I'm a paralegal. You're a paralegal, which I always thought sounded cooler than it is.

[Listener/Contestant]

Yeah, it sounds a lot cooler than it is.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. It's like you have paratrooper. That's cool, right? So paralegal I figured would be somebody who leaps in and, like, drops in from airplanes to do law.

[Michael Threitz]

Yeah.

[Listener/Contestant]

All I do is keep lawyers on target.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Listener/Contestant]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Do you have to, like, physically Grab them sometimes and just, like, point them. Right. It hasn't happened yet, but it wouldn't surprise me. I bet. Well, Nathan, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it is a humorous woodworker whose podcast, the Beaudet Problem debuts soon. Listen to the pilot [e-mail] it's Tom Beaudet.

[Tom Beaudet]

Hi, Nathan.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, Tom. Next, he's the co host of the podcast the Nightly and is performing at the Fiddler club in Philadelphia February 20th and 21st. It's Josh Gondelman.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hello.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, Josh.

[Listener/Contestant]

Thank you for all your tarot work.

[Peter Sagal]

And joining us again, the co host of the handsome podcast and producer of the Apple TV document, Come See Me in the Good Light. Nominated for an Oscar this year, it's Tig Notaro. Hey, Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

How's it going?

[Peter Sagal]

So, welcome to the show. Nathan, you're going to play who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations we found in the week's news. Your job, correctly identify or explain just two of them. Do that, you will win our prize. The choice of your voicemail from any of us. Are you ready to go?

[Bill Curtis]

Yep.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here is your first quote.

[Bill Curtis]

It's Starbucks versus Dunkin.

[Peter Sagal]

That was an ABC reporter summing up the big game happening this weekend. What's the game?

[Bill Curtis]

It's the Super Bowl.

[Peter Sagal]

The Super Bowl. That's right. Yay, the Super Bowl. It's not just a matchup between two cities, Seattle and Boston. It's a contest between two different brands of terrible coffee. The Seahawks versus the Patriots. It's not the marquee matchup the NFL hoped for. For example, out of more than 100 players on both rosters, not a single one of them is engaged to Taylor Swift.

[Listener/Contestant]

Look, it's not that exciting because everybody's on the same side of this. I, like everyone in America, am a New England Patriots fan. And so there's just no tension.

[Peter Sagal]

They truly are America's team.

[Listener/Contestant]

Everybody loves them, and everybody is on board with the thing I just said.

[Peter Sagal]

But here's a question. You are a genuine Patriots fan.

[Listener/Contestant]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

And everybody hated the Patriots for a long time.

[Listener/Contestant]

And that just made me stronger.

[Peter Sagal]

I understand that.

[Listener/Contestant]

Chicagoans, you understand that? Yes. Fight.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. You thrive in their hatred. But so then the people associated with the hated Patriots thing, namely Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, they left and moved on to other things. And much, much younger women.

[Bill Curtis]

And.

[Listener/Contestant]

Well, see, Bill Belichick, people don't. Bill Belichick is an innovator. On the field and off. Most people criticize an old man for dating a woman half his age. He said, no, I'm going to date a woman one third my age. People said it couldn't be done mathematically.

[Peter Sagal]

I know.

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't know the super bowl was this weekend.

[Peter Sagal]

You didn't. You didn't come up in your social schedule.

[Tig Notaro]

Nor theirs, apparently.

[Peter Sagal]

You represent that swath of our audience.

[Tig Notaro]

People think I'm gonna be interested in the Super Bowl? I remember when we first got our handyman at our house, and he's from Philadelphia, and he's very into all of the Philadelphia teams.

[Peter Sagal]

The term is sports.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, of the sports teams. And I remember the first time when he came over, he was like, hey, did you see the, you know, whatever, Philly game? And I was like, oh, wrong lesbian. Let me get my wife. And my short hair throws people off.

[Listener/Contestant]

Sure, of course.

[Tig Notaro]

And they direct a lot of sports talk to me. But it's. It's Stephanie.

[Listener/Contestant]

You're so outside of it. You're going like, hey, did you see the baseball Philadelphia.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Michael Threitz]

Yeah.

[Listener/Contestant]

You couldn't get the licensing rights to say the name of the team.

[Tig Notaro]

That's the last time I talked sports.

[Peter Sagal]

I understand. Went well. Your next quote is the slogan for a new government mascot.

[Bill Curtis]

Mine, baby, Mine.

[Peter Sagal]

That is what Coley says. And Coley is the new government mascot, encouraging us to mine more. What? Coal. Coal, yes. This week, the U.S. department of the Interior debuted Coley, the talking lump of coal, and his sidekick, Canary.

[Listener/Contestant]

They have kind of a love hate relationship.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, Canary, you look a little wobbly. So this is all real? You may think we have made this up. Coley is a cartoon L with eyes in a mouth. He's wearing work boots, a safety vest, and a hard hat. He's very adorable. And so is his catchphrase. We just have three hours of oxygen left down here.

[Listener/Contestant]

I hate to correct you, Peter, but because this is a Trump regime project, it's not actually a lump of coal. It's a baseball in blackface.

[Tom Beaudet]

Come on.

[Listener/Contestant]

I can't believe you hate that joke more than you hate the New England Patriots.

[Tom Beaudet]

When I was growing up, our parents would threaten us with a lump of coal at Christmas if we didn't behave ourselves. This is not a social icon of reward, should I say?

[Tig Notaro]

Our children were told that if they didn't behave, they would get a lump of coal. And our son Max earnestly asked, well, if that does happen, can I still play with it?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Tom Beaudet]

We call him Coley.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I was about to Say, maybe that's where Coley came from. Some bad child. I mean, Coley, it's. I don't know what it is.

[Tig Notaro]

My son isn't bad.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, Your son, I'm sure he's.

[Tig Notaro]

We're just threatening him.

[Peter Sagal]

I understand. A lovely child. Meanwhile, Coley is definitely looking at a trademark lawsuit from E. Coley, the mascot of Diarrhea.

[Tig Notaro]

It does seem like if you're diarrhea, you'd want a mascot.

[Listener/Contestant]

You would?

[Tom Beaudet]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

If you're Diarrhea, you're sitting around with your marketing people and you're going, look, we gotta do something about my reputation.

[Listener/Contestant]

We've had generations of negative pr.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, your final quote is from an article in the New York Times about the hottest new dining trend.

[Bill Curtis]

Waste no Time Chewing.

[Peter Sagal]

That's about the growing group of people who are taking all their meals in the form of what, a shake? Yeah. Or liquid. Or goo, it is often called. People apparently want to maximize their nutrition while saving time and effort. So they're eating packets of goo instead of food. It is a powerful rebuttal to those who believe you're supposed to enjoy your life. Nutrient Goofy, according to the Times, is more popular than ever, even for people with teeth.

[Tig Notaro]

And is that the name of the product? Nutrient Goo?

[Peter Sagal]

It is off. Yeah. The Times calls it goo, but it's called Nutrient Goo. Yes. Well, generic.

[Tom Beaudet]

Well, great marketing team, would you say.

[Peter Sagal]

From the people who brought you diarrhea? Here's Nutrient Goo.

[Listener/Contestant]

They just left Goo Treat sitting right.

[Peter Sagal]

There on the table. I know. The New York Times called them aspirationally branded meal replacement.

[Listener/Contestant]

Why do we only get the parts of the future that stink?

[Peter Sagal]

It's really true.

[Listener/Contestant]

Like, truly, I thought we were gonna have flying cars by now, and instead it's just like, no pizza soup.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Tom Beaudet]

I mean, this is something that the astronauts were doing, like, in 1962.

[Peter Sagal]

Right, right.

[Tom Beaudet]

And so what is. I mean, it's just. It's Cause it's catching on now.

[Peter Sagal]

The idea is, like, everybody's so busy. Everybody's got so much to do. Nobody wants to take the time to have to make or apparently chew a meal. Right. They just want someone to mama Bird their food for them.

[Tig Notaro]

So it's to save time.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right.

[Listener/Contestant]

What's everybody so busy doing? Unemployment's going way up. Everybody's got more time they've ever had in their lives. People should. There should be, like, a long meal trend.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, everybody should be inventing goo.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, exactly. Bill, how did Nathan do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Perfect score.

[Peter Sagal]

Nathan, congratulations.

[Listener/Contestant]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you so much. Drink up if you're drinking. Drink up if you're drinking, Boy, tell me what you wish right now. Panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, there's a new travel trend that is said to refresh your perspective and bring you peace when you're flying intentionally. Sitting where?

[Tom Beaudet]

Oh, I saw this story. In the middle seat.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, in the middle seat. Some people are actually really into getting that dreaded middle seat on airplanes. One of these perverts wrote on TikTok that the middle seat was, quote, like a midair cuddle that you don't deserve but you are privileged to have.

[Tom Beaudet]

Oh, that's, that's a very sad person. Right?

[Listener/Contestant]

Did you read that in the Epstein files or is that somewhere else?

[Tom Beaudet]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

I agree with him because the thing we all want in a plane is to have the guy in the middle seat extend his arms and say, come on, sweethearts, I want to be the middle spoon.

[Tom Beaudet]

You know, I've been stuck in the middle seat. Many of us, things don't always go our way. And I do find that there's a certain thing you have to do, like you've got to bring your world in very close.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Tom Beaudet]

It's like you got to erase the ID and just accept life as it just came at you. And there's something very spiritual about that, I admit.

[Peter Sagal]

You sound like somebody talking how they got through 30 years in prison.

[Tom Beaudet]

Well, it's like that. It's like that. Yeah. Have you ever seen, have you ever flown on a plane where in the middle seat there's like these little scratch marks on the tray? Yeah. The day, the hours of the flight.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, a secret is revealed in our bluff the listener game called 1, 88 wait wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, don't tell me from npr.

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[Peter Sagal]

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[Josh Gondelman]

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[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, don't tell Me the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tig Notaro, Josh Gondelman and Tom Beaudet. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you so much, Bill. Right now. Thank you everybody. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, don't tell me. Bluff the listener game. Call one triple eight. Wait, Wait. To play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Hi, Peter. My name is Laura and I'm from Durango, Colorado.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, Durango is a beautiful place. I have been there. What do you do there?

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Well, I spend most of my time embarrassing my 8 year old son.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, let me ask you a question. What does he find about you that's most embarrassing?

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Annoyingly positive pep talks. You slang from his generation out of context.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, that's the worst. Do you ever try to make like a 6, 7 joke?

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Oh, totally. In fact, I'm working on making that fall right out of style.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, you're keep at it. Well, welcome to the show, Laura. You're going to play our game on which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Laura's topic?

[Listener/Contestant]

Shh.

[Bill Curtis]

It's a secret.

[Peter Sagal]

A secret got out this week. And it's not just that the nutrient goo everybody's eating is made of people. Our panelists are going to tell you how somebody's beans got spilled. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play?

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Yes, sir.

[Peter Sagal]

Let's hear first from Josh Gondelman.

[Listener/Contestant]

Spectators at a recent boxing match were exposed to a moment of hair raising violence. Literally. Heavyweight Kingsley Ibe landed an uppercut so ferocious it knocked his opponent's toupee clean off his head. The crowd was shocked, even though we can all agree that being bald is a cool and hot way for a guy to look. The competitor himself, Jerrel Miller, whose nickname is Big Baby, perhaps because of his smooth scalp, was surprised as well. I wasn't sure it was coming off, but I felt a draft like AC hitting my scalp, miller said. Sure enough, I look at the Jumbotron and my hair is flapping and the crowd is going crazy. Undeterred by his follicular malfunction, Miller tore the wig the rest of the way off his head and threw it into the crowd. He went on to win the fight in a tight split decision making, fittingly emerging victorious by a hair.

[Peter Sagal]

A boxer's secret that he's bald is revealed when he gets hit so hard his toupee flies off in the middle of a bout. Your next story of someone's cover being blown comes from Tig Notaro.

[Tig Notaro]

This week, Berta Martin found something shocking in her parents attic. When she was looking for potential critters running around. All she found was were wooden toys and a box labeled yearbooks. She decided to take an old trip down memory lane and look at the yearbooks. However, when she opened the first one, she was shocked to her core. There was a full page picture of her mother with quote unquote most likely to be late printed across the page. This was particularly shocking to Berta because her mother is the Miss Manners AKA Judith Martin, AKA the reason your elbows do not touch the dinner table. In the yearbook for the next year, her mom was quote unquote most likely to flip off the teacher and there was a huge picture of her double birds out on a motorcycle. Berta brought the yearbook downstairs to her mother and Miss Manners just said yeah, I was awesome then. Now please set the table for dinner.

[Peter Sagal]

Miss Manners daughter discovers that her mother was once a delinquent. Your last story of a secret spilled comes from Tom Beaudet.

[Tom Beaudet]

Justin and Hailey Bieber made headlines with their red carpet appearance at last Sunday's Grammy Awards. Justin's Captain Underpants performance later in the show left few secrets to hide. Except for one. On Sunday after the awards show, Justin Bieber skipped the after party because he had a shift as an Uber driver. It's the only Way I can unwind. I love driving people to the airport, explained Bieber. So after the Grammys, Justin slipped into the night, into his Yukon and into his alias Uber driver, Vladislav. He was enjoying his quiet evening of being just a regular guy until he got a ride request from a customer named Anastasia Chekhov. When Ms. Chekhov entered the vehicle, she said, hello, Vladislav. How was your night? Justin turned to face her. Hayley Haley looks hard at the father of her child. Are record sales this bad? It turns out that both of them were craving some hoi polloi FaceTime and ended up with each other. Haley said she was just relieved that Justin was wearing pants.

[Peter Sagal]

So one of these secrets got out this week. Was it from Josh Gondelman? A boxer revealed to the world that he was bald when his opponent hit him so hard his toupee flew off. From miss Manor's daughter discovers that her genteel mother wasn't always like that. Or from Tom. Justin Bieber secretly drives an Uber under an alias and was discovered when he picked up his wife. Which of these was the real secret revealed this week?

[Listener Laura/Lee]

I think I'll have to go with Josh's story just to support toupee wearing men everywhere.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, you're going to go with Josh's story about the boxer who's toupee flew off when he got hit that hard. Well, we actually have here some tape of the person whose secret was revealed.

[Listener/Contestant]

I've had here before, so thank God.

[Peter Sagal]

I hope it goes back, but it's cool. That was boxer Jerrell Miller talking about how he had his toupee knocked off this week.

[Tig Notaro]

I think you accidentally played Miss Manners.

[Peter Sagal]

It's possibly. Yeah, that's what she really sounds like. You've never heard her, have you? You've only seen her picture. Congratulations, Laura. You got it right. You earned a point for Josh and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Congratulations. Thank you so much for playing.

[Listener/Contestant]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

And now, the game we call not my Job. When Michael Frietz was a kid, he really loved his local library. So much so that when he grew up, he got a job there. And he loved that job so much that he started a TikTok celebrating the joys of reading. And he was so good at that that he was selected to be the host of the new version of the beloved kids program Reading Rainbow. Michael, from one book nerd to another, welcome to. Wait, wait, don't tell me. So congratulations on Reading Rainbow, which just was relaunched by PBS on YouTube. It's very exciting. This must have been a thrill for you to get this job. Did you grow up on Reading Rainbow like so many did?

[Michael Threitz]

Oh, I absolutely did. LeVar Burton is one of my all time favorite human beings in the entire world. That's how I saw myself as a reader. I was like, hey, this guy makes it so fun. He's having all these zany adventures. I was homeschooled. So my mom and dad raised us on roots. So I was like, why is a roots guy on Reading Rainbow?

[Peter Sagal]

And that came to terms.

[Michael Threitz]

And I was like, well, that's cool. This is even better. Yeah, I'm the biggest LeVar Burton fan in the entire world.

[Peter Sagal]

He has that effect on people. How was the torch passed? Did LeVar Burton, like, knight you with a bookmark or hand over the animated butterfly to you? How did it work?

[Michael Threitz]

I wish it was that special. I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Burton. I'm just trying to make him proud with my obnoxious enthusiasm for libraries and literacy and books. And I hope it's coming across well on YouTube to all the kid viewers out there.

[Peter Sagal]

So it is genuine. I think nobody doubts that you've talked a lot how the library was your sort of safe space as a kid. And did you have a favorite book when you were a kid? You know what?

[Michael Threitz]

You're not gonna be able to see it because my camera is blurred. But I have a full tattoo sleeve of my favorite books, so I love where the Wild Things Are. I'm a big fan of Richard Scarry, Richard Scarry books Strike and Nona of Frog and Toad. But one of my favorite books is Bud Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis. It's because that was a first book where I saw myself look like a character in the books.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, how old were you when you got your first book tattoo?

[Michael Threitz]

I think I got my first book tattoo when I was 24.

[Peter Sagal]

24.

[Michael Threitz]

So it's been almost 12 years.

[Peter Sagal]

And what was the first book you.

[Michael Threitz]

Had tattooed the first one was? That is a good question. It was actually. It was either where the Wild Things Are or I have a library card of Arthur Reed from PBS tattooed on me. Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow. And when you walked into the tattoo parlor at the age of 24 and you said, I would like this library card with Arthur the aardvark, Arthur Reeds. Did the guy just look at you and say, oh, what a cliche?

[Michael Threitz]

You know what? He really did, I think because I showed him my. Like, at the time, I had close to 40 library cards. I just Brought in my library card collection, and he was like, okay, you're all about it. That's okay.

[Peter Sagal]

It's all right. Whatever works. It's okay.

[Listener/Contestant]

The giant biker across the room getting a tattoo of DW on his chest kind of nodded respect.

[Michael Threitz]

Mr. Ratburn, let the meat face.

[Peter Sagal]

You spent so much time at your hometown library. Eventually you went back and got a job there, and you eventually became head librarian, right?

[Michael Threitz]

I did, yes. I started. I got my library card at that same library as a kid. Excuse me. I became a Shelver. I went to college, got my bachelor's degree, got my master's degree, became a children's librarian, and then a marketing librarian, and then I eventually became the supervising librarian of that same.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow. And once you acquired that employee Immense power, what is the first thing you did with it?

[Tig Notaro]

Did you shush someone?

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael Threitz]

You know what? I think a lot of people learn that once you become a library person, you're not a true library person until you've been shushed by someone visiting the library. And I've been shushed by anywhere from 12 to 15 people talking to visitors at the desk, other co workers, and they're like, sir, this is a library. You work here.

[Tig Notaro]

I like to go into libraries just to shush everybody. I just like to just be like, shh, shh, shh. Even if nobody's saying anything. Yeah, I just love to shush in a library.

[Michael Threitz]

We're creating a new Rick Steves. We're just going around the world shushing people.

[Peter Sagal]

Shushing people. We have covered on this show the fact that many libraries report that very weird things show up in books being returned that have been used as bookmarks. Has this happened to you? Have you pulled out odd things out of books?

[Michael Threitz]

I have. I pulled. I mean, definitely quite a few receipts. I pulled someone's Social Security card out of a book reporter. I'm like, oh, I know way too much about this person. I pulled some baloney, baloney book before.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, what are we talking about?

[Peter Sagal]

People use people to read. Reading a book, and they, like, have to close the book, and so they grab what is near to hand and put it in the book as a bookmark.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, okay. Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Michael Threitz]

What's the context of this conversation?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I understand. Let's say you have a little kid, however old, who doesn't like to read, says they don't anyway. Do you have, like, a magic book that you have in your pocket, metaphorically speaking, to whip out and, like, convert that kid into a reader?

[Michael Threitz]

You know what? I don't have necessarily a magic book, but I think I love. I found that so many kids always have what they love on their person. Either they have a spider man hat or nowadays they have K pop Demon hunter shirts, or the super bowl is coming up, they'll be rocking their Patriots jerseys or their. Or their Seahawks jerseys. And I just start talking about that, and I'm like, did you know that there's football books, there's basketball books, there's actually books about K pop demon hunters. I'm pretty sure there's someone out there trying to write a bad bunny book as we. As we speak. So I think the magic of books is just saying, you know what you can read. You can read graphic novels. You can read Dogman 1000 times. And they're like, are you sure? Because every other adult says, that's not okay. And I'm like, they're wrong. Read away.

[Peter Sagal]

Reading is reading.

[Michael Threitz]

You're a worthy reader.

[Tom Beaudet]

Can I ask a help question of you, Michael? How many times can a parent safely read everybody poops to their child before they get actual brain damage?

[Peter Sagal]

The child or the adult?

[Tom Beaudet]

I was thinking of the adult.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I understand. Well, Michael Threets, it is a joy to talk to you, and this time we've invited you to play a game.

[Bill Curtis]

We're calling don't read the rainbow, taste the rainbow.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, no. You host Reading Rainbow. So we thought we'd ask you about the candy with the slogan taste the rainbow. That is, of course, Skittles. Answer two or three questions about Skittles candies. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose from our show for their voicemail. So, Bill, who is librarian Michael Threets.

[Bill Curtis]

Playing for Isaac Lewis of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, you ready to do this?

[Michael Threitz]

I'll give it a try for Lewis.

[Peter Sagal]

Give it a try. Here's your first question. Pax of skittles come in a variety of different flavors, from the classic flavors to tropical fruit flavors. Well, one limited edition flavor that came out in 2019 was not so successful. Which was it? A, suppository skittles. B, zombie Skittles, where one in every 20 Skittles tasted rotten. Or C, zootopia Skittles, each designed to taste like each of the star animals in that movie. Man.

[Michael Threitz]

Penguin flavor, sense of Skittles. I'm trying to channel Marshawn lynch and. Ooh, I think I'm gonna go with suppository Skittles.

[Peter Sagal]

Suppository Skittles.

[Listener/Contestant]

Truly the most beast mode of all Skittles.

[Peter Sagal]

Truly. Truly. No, it was zombie Skittles.

[Tig Notaro]

Really.

[Peter Sagal]

It really was zombie Skittles. Flavors included petrifying citrus punch, mummified melon, and every now and then, rotten zombie.

[Michael Threitz]

Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow. All right. It's all right. You got two more chances. In 2018, a spokesman for Mars, the company that makes Skittles, had to issue an official statement to shut down a conspiracy theory that was spreading like wildfire. Alleging what? A, Skittles are actually candied fish roe, B, all Skittles take exactly the same, they're just in different colors. Or C, each of them has a microdose of cocaine, which is why they're so addictive.

[Michael Threitz]

I really want to go with C, and I'm going to be so sad if it is C, but I'm going to go with B.

[Peter Sagal]

You're right. The rumor was that all Skittles taste exactly the same. They just have different colors. It's not true, and I am proud to say it was a rumor started by a report on npr. Oh, there you go. All right. This is great, Michael. If you get this last one, you win. Skittles are known for their very weird commercials. Which of these was a real Skittles commercial that was broadcast somewhere in the world? Was it A, a commercial with a huge anthropomorphic tube sock that generated static electricity by rubbing on the carpet and shocks an old man on the tongue? Was it B, a man who milks Skittles from a giraffe which is eating a rainbow, or C, a mother who feeds her adult son Skittles through an umbilical cord?

[Tom Beaudet]

God.

[Bill Curtis]

Bad.

[Michael Threitz]

I am gonna go with B. With the giraffe.

[Peter Sagal]

You're gonna go with B, the man who milks Skittles from a giraffe that's eating a rainbow? That's right. But they were all real. Those were all real Skittles commercials. Bill, how did Michael Threeitz do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Two out of three is a win. Michael proved his talent.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations. Michael Threeitz's new book is I'm so Happy youy're a Celebration of Library Joy. And he is the host of the new edition of Reading Rainbow. Michael Threeth, thank you so much for joining us. I'm. Wait, wait, don't tell me. What a pleasure to talk to you. Take care.

[Bill Curtis]

Thanks for having me.

[Michael Threitz]

Thank you. Bye.

[Listener/Contestant]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

Thanks, Michael. In just a minute, because a smile is unavailable, we let something else be our umbrella in our Listener limerick challenge. Call 188. Wait wait. To join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more and wait, wait, don't tell me. From npr.

[Sponsor Announcer]

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[Joanna Strober]

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[Bill Curtis]

From NPR n WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Beaudet, Tig Notaro and Josh Gondelman. And Harrigan is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. In just a minute, if you like limericks, you've come to the only place to play our Listener Limerick Challenge. Give us a call, 1-888-wait wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tom, According to Business Insider, there's been a rise in name shame for a certain group of men. Guys named what?

[Tom Beaudet]

Cause it's so like Jason's.

[Peter Sagal]

No, because it's become so infamous and associated with the person that nobody wants to be associated with. And too many are.

[Tom Beaudet]

Oh, Donald, Donald, don't.

[Peter Sagal]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh.

[Peter Sagal]

You know, now that you pointed out, there are all the a lot of candidates for this answer.

[Listener/Contestant]

Yeah.

[Tom Beaudet]

I mean, there's a whole list going through my head.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it turns out more people were associated with this guy in real life than they ever wanted us to find out about.

[Tom Beaudet]

Oh, God. Yeah. The Richard. No. Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

No, not Richard. What are you talking about?

[Tom Beaudet]

I'm talking about Epstein.

[Peter Sagal]

Epstein's first name.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Richard Epstein.

[Listener/Contestant]

Just a real mean podiatrist.

[Tom Beaudet]

What? What's his name, Ron?

[Peter Sagal]

It is.

[Tom Beaudet]

It's Epstein. It's like.

[Listener/Contestant]

It's God. Nobody tell him.

[Tom Beaudet]

Like, listen, this is elder abuse right here.

[Listener/Contestant]

This is what you're doing, okay?

[Tig Notaro]

But the good news is we now know who is not on that list.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, right.

[Tom Beaudet]

Happy to be. Why can't I think of it?

[Peter Sagal]

Not only would I no longer remember the answer, I no longer remember the question.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, where are we?

[Tom Beaudet]

Right. It's irrelevant. At this point, I would say it's pretty relevant. And it's not. Well, I know it's not. Richard, for God's sake. It's somebody say it so I can smack my forehead and we can move on with this show.

[Listener/Contestant]

Let's have everybody say it on three. One, two, three. Jeffrey.

[Peter Sagal]

Jeffrey.

[Tig Notaro]

Doesn't even sound familiar, huh?

[Tom Beaudet]

No.

[Listener/Contestant]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, that's a good man. That is a good man.

[Peter Sagal]

Yep.

[Josh Gondelman]

More.

[Peter Sagal]

More and more guys named Jeffrey are choosing to go as Jeff to distance themselves from famous pedophile and emailer Jeffrey Epstein. It's very hard to be a Jeffrey these days. I get it. But come on, there are way more famous Jeffries than just Epstein. There's also Dahmer, according to the reporter who wrote the story, whose name is, of course, Jeffrey. Quote, the name you put forth can have a huge impact on your career trajectory. So if you're a Jeffrey, try to drop that name. Go by something with less baggage, like Ghislaine.

[Listener/Contestant]

Wait, is this. Is this the last journalism left in the Washington Post? Is Jeff Bezos himself writing an article? Be nice to Jeffries?

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, wow. After that. Actually, after that, this week, that may be the worst, Jeffrey, I think.

[Listener/Contestant]

Yeah, I don't know about worst. I'll put him.

[Tom Beaudet]

Bottom three.

[Peter Sagal]

Question for you, Josh. This week, the New York Times investigated why, try as they might to stop poets keep doing what they just can't stop.

[Listener/Contestant]

Piercing the veil of the unknown with language and insight.

[Peter Sagal]

It's true. No, not that.

[Listener/Contestant]

Then I'm gonna have to have a hint.

[Peter Sagal]

So much depends upon this hint.

[Listener/Contestant]

For they can't stop, like, pausing at weird times.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. They can't stop reciting poetry in the annoying reciting poetry voice. This week, the New York Times asked a great question. What's up with the voice people use when they're reciting poetry? That voice, the tone that poets performing and preaching potential impose on their work.

[Listener/Contestant]

Kind of artsy Shatner, if you will.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Yes. Turns out a lot of poets just recite that way because they think that's how you're supposed to sound. I mean, without the voice, people might catch on that your poem is just regular writing with extra pauses.

[Listener/Contestant]

I like the idea of stripping away that kind of artifice and just kind of like giving it real casual like, shall I compare thee to a summer's day? I don't know.

[Tom Beaudet]

Now I'm more lovely and more temperate.

[Listener/Contestant]

But whatever.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, you do you. Coming up, it's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-88-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-892-4. You can find us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago or you can catch us on the road. We will be in beautiful Savannah, Georgia on March 26th. The show just went on sale, so grab the good seats now. And if you are in Chicago and prefer our show without all the annoying questions, come check out our special comedy Grab Bag Live stand up show March 11, the Den Theater in Wicker Park. Adam Burke will be hosting along with Alzo Slade, Joel, Nicole Johnson and more special guests. Tickets for all our shows will be at nprpresents.org hi Jerome. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Hi, this is Lee Gutchis calling from Harrisonburg, Virginia.

[Peter Sagal]

Harrisonburg, Virginia. Okay. What do you do there?

[Listener Laura/Lee]

I'm a senior data scientist at a health policy research center that's called the Hilltop Institute and mom to two great kids, a six year old major and a two year old Susie.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, excellent. Can I ask, since we've been on the topic this week, what are their favorite?

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Right now my son is super into the Camp Cretaceous books and my daughter really big into pow pow fish right now.

[Peter Sagal]

Pow pow fish. Oh yeah, we have that book. We've read it many times. And the sequel was disappointing because he goes on antidepressants.

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Which sequel? I feel like there are like six of them.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I know.

[Listener Laura/Lee]

I'm the antidepressant one. We'll keep an eye out.

[Peter Sagal]

Please, please do. Well, welcome to the show, Lee. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to go?

[Listener Laura/Lee]

I guess we'll find out.

[Peter Sagal]

Here is your first limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

Handling bags, an umbrella and phone. I can manage the rain on my own. New tech is the key. My umbrella's hands free. It's hovering, held by a drone Drone?

[Tom Beaudet]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Do you love using umbrellas, but just wish there were many, many more ways for it to break? Well, you need the high tech flying umbrella drone. A YouTube inventor has created a drone that hovers right over your head with an umbrella wherever you go. Now you can stay dry and look like you're being chased by an adorable ufo. It's actually really amazingly innovative technology. To make sure that it follows you around automatically, all you have to do is make sure you are the first thing it sees when it hatches.

[Listener/Contestant]

You know, even if it had a drone, I would for sure put down my drone umbrella at the front of the restaurant and then leave it there if it's not raining when I leave.

[Michael Threitz]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, it'd be so weird because, like, all restaurants would have just piles of abandoned drone umbrellas just sort of hovering there. Sadly. Here is your next limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

Pet friendly signs aren't all that my Ms. Luna finds. No. Welcome, Matt. Hotel intake logs are drowning in dogs. But no one wants me and my cat.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, that's right. Cat owners are struggling with a big problem. All the hotels and stores that say they're pet friendly. By pet just mean dogs. Maybe it's because bringing your dog on vacation makes sense, but bringing your cat on vacation is insane. Look, Frisky. The Berkshires.

[Tom Beaudet]

I always assume people travel with their cats because they're getting rid of them.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Tom Beaudet]

Leave them in a distant town.

[Peter Sagal]

That explains the look in their faces and their little cat carriers. Here's your last limerick, Lee.

[Bill Curtis]

Film students think they are groovy, but they suck. And you cannot disprove me. Their will isn't strong to focus for long. Those kids cannot sit through a.

[Listener Laura/Lee]

A movie.

[Peter Sagal]

A movie. That's right. We all remember when the teacher rolling into TV and playing a movie was the best thing that could happen in a classroom. But now professors complain that even film students no longer have the attention span to make it through an entire movie. If you are a film student, you're signing up to watch boring movies. That's how we know their art.

[Tom Beaudet]

I bet if they just, like, popped up a little message, like a fake notification of that, like, every 15 seconds, they'd stay with it because it's just their brains just need to be fed an interruption.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Well, that's probably the problem. They can't do it. And some professors who are.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's go to commercial.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, some professors got. This is all true. Got so tired of trying to get their students to come down to the screening room and sit through a home movie, they said, okay, fine, you can stream the movie for the assignment online. But then they found out that they often don't finish the movie. This is true. One professor did that. And then as a test asked the students how the movie ended and half of them did not know. They're all like, what? The Titanic sank. Bill, how did Lee do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

3 0?

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations, Lee. Well done. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing.

[Listener Laura/Lee]

Yeah, thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Take care.

[Josh Gondelman]

Support for NPR and the following message come from Ethos. Ethos makes getting life insurance fast and easy 100% online. You can get a quote in seconds, apply in minutes, and get same day coverage. There's no medical exam, just a few simple health questions. You can get up to $3 million in coverage. Some policies are as low as $30 a month. Protect your family's future in minutes with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free [e-mail] NPR application times and rates may vary. This message comes from LinkedIn ads. One of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience. That's why you need LinkedIn. You can target your buyers by job title, company role, seniority and skills. All the professionals you need to reach in one place. Get a $250 credit on your next campaign so you can try it yourself. Just go to LinkedIn.com nprpod that's LinkedIn.com nprpod Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads.

[Sponsor Announcer]

This message comes from NPR sponsor Shopify. No idea where to sell? Shopify puts you in control of every sales channel. It is the commerce platform revolutioniz millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're a garage entrepreneur or IPO ready, Shopify is the only tool you need to start, run and grow your business without the struggle. Once you've reached your audience, Shopify has the Internet's best converting checkout to help you turn them from browsers to buyers. Go to Shopify.com NPR to take your business to the next level today.

[Peter Sagal]

Now it's on to our final game, Lightning. Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

[Bill Curtis]

Josh and Tom each have three. Tig has one.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, well, Tig, this means you are in second place behind Tom and Josh. That means you're going to have to go first.

[Tig Notaro]

You ready put a positive spin on it?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I did. I did. Trying to make you feel better. All right, the clock will start and we begin your first question. Here we Go fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the White House said it would withdraw 700 ICE agents from blank. Minneapolis. Yeah. Following a Russian strike on Monday, tens of thousands of people in Blank were left without heat.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I know this.

[Peter Sagal]

Yet you must prove that by saying it out loud.

[Tig Notaro]

Ukraine.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, Ukraine.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[Peter Sagal]

On Wednesday, Ryan Ruth was sentenced to life in prison for the attempted assassination of Blank two years ago.

[Tig Notaro]

Trump.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, a man in Massachusetts started his house on fire when he tried to remove the snow on his roof. By blanket dancing? No, by using a blowtorch on the snow. In response to consumer complaints, Blank said they were lowering the price of their potato chips.

[Tig Notaro]

Lay's.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, lay's. On Tuesday, it was announced that Josh d' Amaro would replace Bob Iger as CEO of Blank.

[Tig Notaro]

Disney.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, the Guardian issued a correction saying a formatting error caused them to give the movie Melania a rating of one star instead of the intended Blank.

[Tig Notaro]

Zero.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. But their review starts out so well. This is one of those rare unicorn films that doesn't have a single redeeming quality. Even worse, after they took the star back, they issued another correction. They said earlier editions indicated you should not see this movie. We meant to say you should never see any movie ever again, because movies are ruined now. Bill, how did Tig do in our quiz?

[Tom Beaudet]

Wow.

[Bill Curtis]

She got six. Right. 12 more points. Total of 13. Puts her in the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

All right. All right. I'm going to arbitrarily cheat Josh to go next. So, Josh, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a temporary spending bill was passed ending the partial blank.

[Listener/Contestant]

A government shutdown.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Thursday, the nuclear pact between the US and Blank expired.

[Listener/Contestant]

Iran?

[Peter Sagal]

No. Russia. This week, the Supreme Court ruled that Blank would be allowed to use its new congressional map.

[Listener/Contestant]

California.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. In Pennsylvania, on Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil predicted blank six more weeks of winter. Right. This week, an internal memo revealed that employees of Cracker Barrel are required to Blank when they travel for work. Smile Only eat at Cracker Barrel. On Sunday, Billie Eilish and Bad Bunny were the big winners at the 2026 Blank Awards.

[Listener/Contestant]

Grammy Awards.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Tuesday, struggling chain pizza restaurant Blank Hut announced it was closing hundreds of locations.

[Listener/Contestant]

Department of Sanitation.

[Tom Beaudet]

Pizza Hut.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, a man in Iceland was billed for driving 1 million km in his rental van during the month of January. Something he could have only done if he blanked.

[Listener/Contestant]

Something he could only have done if he traveled faster than the speed of light.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. I'm gonna give it to you. If he drove the Van around the earth 25 times going the speed of sound.

[Listener/Contestant]

Ah, sound.

[Peter Sagal]

It's unclear whether rental company's automated invoice system thinks the man drove his bus around the earth 25 times at 800 miles an hour. But they are trying to charge him almost $200,000 for. Even worse, the company is charging him an extra $25 for not returning the bus with a full tank of experimental jet fuel. Bill, how did Josh do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Well, he did very well. 6.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Bill Curtis]

12 more points. Total of 15 puts him in the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, so how many then does Tom Bonett need to win?

[Bill Curtis]

6 to tie, 7 to win.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here we go, Tom. This is for the game on Wednesday presence. President Trump said America should move on from the blank files.

[Bill Curtis]

The.

[Tom Beaudet]

The Jeffrey.

[Peter Sagal]

It'd be hilarious if now you can't remember his last name.

[Tom Beaudet]

Jeffrey Epstein.

[Peter Sagal]

Epstein files. Yes. This week the White House announced that the Blank center would close for construction for two years.

[Bill Curtis]

The.

[Tom Beaudet]

Oh, yeah, the Kennedy Center.

[Peter Sagal]

The Kennedy Center.

[Michael Threitz]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

This week a man in California was arrested for getting high on meth and blanking.

[Tig Notaro]

Just blanking?

[Peter Sagal]

Blanking.

[Tom Beaudet]

That's open ended. Ewing meth and I don't know, barking like a seal on Sunset Boulevard.

[Tig Notaro]

That is correct.

[Peter Sagal]

No, for stealing an airplane. On Tuesday at Doberman Pinch your name Penny won top honors at the Blank.

[Tom Beaudet]

Oh, the. You know the big dog show in New York.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, the Westminster Dog Show. This week, cyber currency blank dropped to its lowest price in two years.

[Tom Beaudet]

Bitcoin.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week a hospital in France had to be evacuated after a World War I artillery shell was found in blank.

[Tom Beaudet]

In the restroom.

[Peter Sagal]

No, in a patient's butt.

[Tig Notaro]

Close.

[Peter Sagal]

Everyone is okay. After a hospital in Toulouse had to be partially evacuated when a 24 year old man walked into the emergency room, uncomfortably, I would assume, and said something had gotten stuck in his butt somehow. Once the doctors realized what it was, they immediately called firefighters, police and explosive experts so there would be more people to laugh at the guy. Bill, did Tom do well enough to win?

[Bill Curtis]

Well, he got four. Right. Eight more points, but his 11 came in short. And guess who is the winner? Josh with 15.

[Peter Sagal]

In just a minute, we're going to ask our parents. What super bowl ad will we all be talking about next week? But first, let me tell you all. Wait, wait, don't tell Me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent overlord Philip Gicker writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Roberson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynne won best in show at the Westminster Producer Show. Emma Choi is our visual host, technical directionist and Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, don't tell me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what super bowl app will we all be talking about after the big game on Sunday?

[Tom Beaudet]

Tom Beaudet, Elijah Wood announced Skittles new dye free candies with a call to taste the beige.

[Peter Sagal]

Josh Gondelman.

[Listener/Contestant]

Obviously, it's the Dunkin Spot where Matt Damon and Ben Affleck pound cold brew shots with famous Massachusetts celebrity, the ghost of Benjamin Franklin.

[Peter Sagal]

And take Notaro.

[Tig Notaro]

The commercial that everyone will be talking about is next year's super bowl halftime performance by the Andrew formerly known as Prince.

[Bill Curtis]

Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Tom Beaudet, Josh Gondoman and Dick Notaro. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater, each and every one of you. Thanks to all of you out there, wherever you may be for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next.

[Michael Threitz]

Foreign.

[Peter Sagal]

This is npr.

[Josh Gondelman]

This message comes from Lisa from Night one. You'll feel the difference. Premium materials that deliver serious comfort and full body Support. Go to Leesa.com for 30% off mattresses, plus get an extra $50 off with promo code.

[Peter Sagal]

NPR this is Ira Glass on this American Life. We look for stories that are surprising that you won't hear anywhere else, like.

[Listener/Contestant]

For example, this one astronaut who went to the moon.

[Peter Sagal]

You know what? He's not into space. Was it cool to float around weightless? No, no, no.

[Listener/Contestant]

This is American Life. Unexpected stories wherever you get your podcasts.

[Peter Sagal]

How could your favorite NPR podcast get any better? Well, what if it had bonus features such as extended interviews and zero sponsor breaks? There remarkably easy way to turn that fantasy into reality. It's called NPR. You get perks across more than 25 NPR podcasts while supporting the teams that make them make great podcasts even greater by visiting. Plus.NPR.org.