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Bill Curtis
From npr at wbez chicago, this is wait, wait, don't tell me, the npr news quiz. To answer your question, yes, it did hurt when my voice fell from heaven. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Peter Sagal
Thank you, Bill. And thank you, everybody. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Bobby Lopez, the composer who wrote the songs for the Book of Mormon and Frozen and is an EGOT winner twice over, which means that after he's a Wait, Wait guest, he becomes history's first ever. We got winner. But first, it's your turn to vie for what must be the least prestigious prize in broadcasting, a voicemail recording from us. Give us a call at 1-888-wait wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant this week. Hi. You're on Wait, wait, don't tell me.
Listener/Contestant
Hi, Peter. This is Emma Johnson from Redwood City, California.
Peter Sagal
Redwood City, California. Oh, I love that authentic California accent. It's so rare to hear these days. What do you do there?
Listener/Contestant
I run operations for a software company. But more importantly, I am proud parent to two adult young adults and I just have to share that one of them signed me up to be a contestant on this show. So this is turning out to be an amazing Mother's Day gift.
Peter Sagal
So lovely.
Bill Curtis
Mother's Day, great.
Peter Sagal
That is a lovely thing to hear. And I just want you to understand we're still not gonna go easy on you. You're gonna have to earn this. Okay. Well, welcome to the show, Emma. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, he is the co host of the podcasts Health Stuff and the untitled Kondabolu Brothers podcast. It's Hari Kondabolu. Hey, Emma
Roxanne Roberts
H.
Peter Sagal
Next, she's a reporter for the Style section of the Washington Post. It's Roxanne Roberts.
Roxanne Roberts
Happy Mother's Day, Emma.
Listener/Contestant
Thank you, Roxanne. Hi.
Roxanne Roberts
Hi.
Peter Sagal
And he's a correspondent for CBS Sunday morning. It's our old friend Mo Rocca.
Mo Rocca
Hi, Emma.
Peter Sagal
Hi, Mo. So welcome to the show, Emma. You're going to play who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's News. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose. Are you ready to go?
Listener/Contestant
You betcha.
Hari Kondabolu
Let's go.
Peter Sagal
Your first quote is someone saying farewell
Bill Curtis
to an airline RIP Banana Bus. Even though we bullied you, we all loved you deep down.
Peter Sagal
What beloved and behated airline suddenly went out of business overnight on Sunday?
Listener/Contestant
That would be Spirit Airlines.
Peter Sagal
Spirit Air. After more than 40 years of offering no frills budget air travel, Spirit suddenly went out of business last weekend. Spirit customers arrived at the airport the next morning only to discover that flights were canceled because the airline no longer existed. Which, to be fair, is better than Spirit's usual excuse. We're a bad airline. It happened for a bunch of reasons, but let's face it, Spirit was doomed the second they chose that shade of yellow for their planes. Airplanes should not look like crime scene tape.
Hari Kondabolu
We lost a great punchline. We really did.
Peter Sagal
We really did. I know. It's like, wow. I mean, just.
Mo Rocca
Frontier's not as funny, right?
Peter Sagal
No, it just isn't, sadly. Yeah. Now, it's interesting, you might be wondering, well, why did they have to strand people? Why couldn't they announce it? They had to close overnight. So there weren't any Spirit Airlines in the air when they went out of business. Because all of a sudden, they'd be like rogue planes. Can you imagine that? It's like spirit4562, you are cleared to go buck wild.
Roxanne Roberts
So they couldn't technically land.
Peter Sagal
Well, no, they had to wait. I mean, what you're saying is, like, I think at the board, the point was.
Roxanne Roberts
Cause that would be weird.
Peter Sagal
That would be weird. Like, oh, we can't land. Sorry, can't pay the fees. So I guess we're here forever.
Mo Rocca
Is that the one? I'm sorry, Is Spirit the one where people were always getting into fights at the gate and videos that go viral?
Peter Sagal
I thought, isn't that more Southwest?
Mo Rocca
No, Southwest has cookies. Southwest is classy.
Hari Kondabolu
Oh, yeah.
Peter Sagal
That's how they stop the fights from breaking out. They just throw the cookies in the ground. They're all like puppies. Oh, wait a minute. Your next quote is from a New York Times story about someone struggling while on the flight phone with customer service.
Bill Curtis
Would it help if I told you I'm the Pope?
Peter Sagal
So who was that, Emma?
Listener/Contestant
That would be Pope Leo xiv.
Peter Sagal
Yes, that was the Pope. So a friend of his told this story and he made the papers this week. The Pope called his personal bank back here in Chicago from The Vatican using his birth name, Robert Prevost, to change the address on his account. He's had a change of job. And the woman at the bank said, oh, if you want to change that information on your account, you have to come to the branch and do it in person. And he said, well, I really can't. And when she wouldn't budge, he said, would it help if I told you I was the Pope? All true. And this is also true. She then hung up on him.
Hari Kondabolu
Does the Pope need money?
Peter Sagal
Well, this is a thing.
Mo Rocca
And where does he keep it?
Peter Sagal
This is a thing. Apparently, as part of his humility, the Pope insists on paying his own way and handling his own affairs. So he needs a bank account. He's paying for stuff. He's the guy who pays the bills. He's the guy who's calling for customer service. Which finally explains why these days, when you call customer service, the first thing you hear is, For Latin, press 1. You never thought about the Pope having to do paperwork, right? Like, it's a pain, like, reason for your address change. Mo, I happen to know that you have met a prior Pope. Was it John Paul ii?
Mo Rocca
No, no, I met Pope Francis.
Peter Sagal
Pope Francis. And are you.
Mo Rocca
And he did all his banking in Rome.
Peter Sagal
He did, yes. Do you? I know, because Mo is actually involved with the Catholic diocese in New York. You do good work for them. Do you think there's a chance you're going to meet this Pope?
Mo Rocca
You know, I hope so. I mean, you know, I mean, boy, I wish I had been that customer service rep. That would have helped me to get a meeting, but I hope so.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what you'd like to say to him if you do meet him?
Mo Rocca
Go with Citibank. Chase has too many beans.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. Your last quote, Emma, is about the return of a beloved breakfast ritual.
Bill Curtis
If you've missed rooting around in a cereal box, you're in luck.
Peter Sagal
So get excited, kids. According to the Associated Press, what are you about to find in cereal boxes again?
Listener/Contestant
Those the little prizes that you get in cereal?
Peter Sagal
Yes, toys, prizes, and cereal again. Yay. Yay. Thanks to Kellogg's, toys are going back into cereal boxes. The idea, of course, for putting a toy into cereal box is, hey, kids, just eat all this cereal. Eventually you'll get the prize. No kid ever does that. We know this. They just get the thing, rip it open, and stick their whole arm straight in there. Large animal, veterinarian style, rooting around, finding what they need.
Roxanne Roberts
And if you have more than one kid, you have to Buy two boxes of cereal. You cannot just buy one. This is genius.
Peter Sagal
It really is.
Mo Rocca
What was the thing that walked up and down the wall?
Peter Sagal
That sticky, slinky Slinky. The Wacky Wall Walker.
Mo Rocca
The Wacky Wall Walker.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. That was.
Mo Rocca
Oh, it was very hygienic.
Peter Sagal
Yes.
Hari Kondabolu
I love that they brought the toys back, but I've always felt that adult cereals should have, like, things in them, too. Yeah, like Viagra or Liberty. Something like something that's useful.
Peter Sagal
It's like, oh, wow, I opened my box of muesli and look, I found a loose cigarette.
Mo Rocca
Why would you say, yeah, all brand should have Madame Usole, but they sort of do the same thing.
Peter Sagal
Yeah, a little redundant there. The first toy to be introduced is a novelty spoon. It's a Toy Story tie in. I love that they were like, hey, for our first toy, let's make absolutely sure it's something we know a kid eating cereal already has. Bill, how did Emma do in our quiz?
Bill Curtis
Emma, you got them.
Hari Kondabolu
All right.
Bill Curtis
You are perfect.
Peter Sagal
Okay, Emma, thank you for playing, and happy Mother's Day.
Roxanne Roberts
Thanks so much.
Listener/Contestant
It was a ton of fun.
Peter Sagal
Take care.
Bill Curtis
Thanks, Emma.
Peter Sagal
Bye. Bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Hari Home security cameras can now use AI to adapt, identify threats, and warn you. Like people stealing packages from your porch, fires even. But they're not always right. For example, one woman was told there was a bear on her porch and it was really. What?
Bill Curtis
Scary.
Peter Sagal
I mean, it's terrifying.
Bill Curtis
Terrifying.
Peter Sagal
It seems obvious. It was really traumatic.
Hari Kondabolu
It was scary.
Peter Sagal
No, no.
Hari Kondabolu
Can you give me a clue?
Peter Sagal
At least? It didn't say there was a bear with a big saggy butt. This woman was told there was a big brown bear on her porch, and it turned out to be, oh, no,
Hari Kondabolu
a big saggy butt. Give me the answer, Peter.
Peter Sagal
I believe Mo knows it was her. It was her. She was. No, that's terrible. That's terrible. She was sweeping the porch wearing a brown tracksuit. Oh, God. She gets an alert bear on your porch. Rude R. Oh, that's awful.
Mo Rocca
Not all bears are overweight. Like, Boo Boo bear was nice and petite, right?
Peter Sagal
Okay. No, it's not nice. It's one thing like you mistake a cat for a burglar. It's another if you're arriving home from a long day at work and you get an alert in your phone from your ring camera, hey, there's a messy bitch in your front door.
Roxanne Roberts
So I'm so confused. It just. Basically, the height and the color and
Peter Sagal
the movements and the shuffling and the fact that she was eating a raw salmon. I'm a real one. I'm a real woman. No plastic lips and Barbie doll hat. Trip princess wanna be here. Coming up, our panelists sing let's All Not Go to the Movies in our bluffed listener game. Call 1-88-wait- wait to play it. We'll be back in a minute with War Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Hey, before we get back to the show, a quick plug for a very special event. Now, you may have heard Bill Curtis, our judge and scorekeeper, is retiring from weight. Wait, I I still have problems dealing with it. But in Bill's honor, we are hosting a live virtual event on Monday, May 11, and you can join us. Bill and I will talk about his time on Wait Wait, his career as a legendary anchorman, and we'll be answering your questions about Bill and the show. So to get your invitation, just sign up for NPR and we'll send you a registration link. Signing up is also a great way to support the show and NPR, so just go to plus.NPR.org and watch your email again. That's plus.NPR.org.
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Listener/Contestant
This week on the NPR Politics podcast, President Trump has never been more unpopular, and the midterms are now less than six months away.
Peter Sagal
So the intensity of opposition that's waiting for a lot of these Republican candidates in a general election is very, very high.
Listener/Contestant
The politics of a wartime economy this week on the NPR Politics podcast, Listen on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Bill Curtis
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, don't tell Me the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Hari Kondabolu and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal.
Peter Sagal
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now, right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, don't tell me. Bluff. The listener game. Call 1, triple 8. Wait, wait. To play our game on the air. Hi, you are on Wait, wait, don't tell me.
Listener/Contestant
Hi, this is Hilary Long in Santa Barbara, California.
Peter Sagal
Oh, Santa Barbara. One of the most beautiful places I know. What do you do there?
Listener/Contestant
Well, now that I've reached a certain age, my husband and teen daughters like to say I'm retired, so I guess I'm a retired university administrator. But I am moonlighting for the last several years as everybody's caretaker.
Peter Sagal
I see. And how nostalgic are you for actually getting to leave the house and having a job?
Listener/Contestant
Not very.
Peter Sagal
Okay, well, good. I'm glad you're enjoying the lifestyle then. Hillary, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill?
Bill Curtis
Screw you, silver screen.
Peter Sagal
No movie theaters, as I'm sure you know, have been struggling lately to bring in an audience who wants like that immersive cinematic experience when you can just watch a movie on the toilet. Our panelists are going to tell you about a brand new threat to movie theaters. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play? Yes. All right, first up, let's hear from Hari Kondabolu.
Hari Kondabolu
Fifteen year old Billy Robinson of Middletown, Connecticut, was sick of watching movies. Quote, why are we watching other people have adventures for entertainment when we could be having them ourselves? If you assumed young Billy was inspired to leave the house and have new life experiences, you would be wrong. No, Billy decided to make the movies more interesting by editing himself into them. Ever wonder why Jack drowned instead of getting on the door with Rose and Titanic? Now we know there wasn't enough room because Billy was lying on there, too. Did Han shoot Greedo first in Star Wars? Nope, it was Billy. Or how about Billy's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where he plays all the Oompa Loompas, According to the owner of the Brunswick Theatre. People keep calling to ask if we have the Billy version of The Devil Wears Prada 2. They don't want the normal one. Billy said, I've always felt that Meryl Streep was overrated, and now I can
Peter Sagal
prove it in Middletown, Connecticut People don't go to the movies because they want to wait and watch the Billy Cut at home. Your next movie meltdown is from Roxanne Roberts.
Roxanne Roberts
Faced with slumping sales last month Peloton introduced its latest innovation, Run for your Life. The High End Fitness Treadmill has a new program that screens Hollywood movies, mostly thrillers and horror films, with an option for the runners to become the lead characters. They're connected to monitors that track breathing, heart rates and adrenaline. While watching movies such as Running man, obviously Halloween, John Wick, and other really scary classics, early users report elevated heart rates, more endurance and not so cheap thrills. Quote I got so carried away that I had a panic attack and ended up in the er, but my God, it was the most fun I've ever had exercising. I was back on the track the next day.
Peter Sagal
A Peloton version that lets you elevate your heart rate by watching horror movies and thrillers in the comfort of your home. And your last cinema shake up comes from Morocco.
Mo Rocca
The last few years have been brutal for movie theater owners, with attendance way down. Poor Nicole Kidman did the best that she could, but she has only so many hours in a day to sit alone in your theater. And now Chinese technology is about to make things even worse for owners. Chinese electric vehicles are now capable of projecting full color movies from their headlights. Huawei. Sorry, I mean Huawei is the company behind this adaptive headlight technology that allows you to park your car and use the nearest wall to watch your favorite movies. Think your own personal drive in. I know what you're wondering. If Thelma and Louise had been driving a Chinese ev, might they instead have turned away from the clip and flipped on the headlights to watch a proto feminist classic like Alice Doesn't Live Here anymore? If Stephen King's Christine were a Chinese EV, would she take in fast and the Ford vs Ferrari? Or might she surprise and delight us by watching Herbie the Love Bug before committing her next killing?
Peter Sagal
All right, which of these is yet another threat to the well being of old school movie theaters? Is it from Hari Kondabolu, a boy named Billy whose cuts of movies with himself starring in them are so popular people want to stay home to watch that instead. From Roxanne Roberts, a new version of Peloton that shows you the movies while you exercise. You can get some benefit from that elevated heart rate from fear. Or from Mo Rocca, a Chinese EV that can project movies through its headlights onto any surface you happen to be pointing your car at. Which of these is the real Story of new cinematic technology.
Listener/Contestant
Oh, shoot. I'm gonna go with my heart. I'm gonna go the movies from the headlight.
Peter Sagal
All right, you're going to choose Mo's story. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone who will probably be affected by the real story. Somebody's going to be driving and being like, all right, let's just project Fast
Bill Curtis
and the Furious on the back of this semi truck and see what happens.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. That was Ryan Oestrike, the general manager of the Music Box Theater here in Chicago, reacting to the real story with less horrible horror than I would have expected from him. But congratulations, Hillary. You followed your heart. You got it right. There's a lesson for all of us. You've won a point for Mo just for telling the truth. And you, of course, have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose from her voicemail. Choose Bill. Choose Bill. Choose Bill.
Listener/Contestant
I will.
Bill Curtis
I will.
Peter Sagal
I will. Okay, thank you so much for playing. Take care.
Listener/Contestant
Thank you.
Peter Sagal
Bye.
Listener/Contestant
Bye, Bye.
Peter Sagal
And now the game where we ask very accomplished people to accomplish just one more thing. We call it not My job. Composer Bobby Lopez not only has an egot, he has more than two of them, with two Oscars, three Tonys, three Grammys, and four Emmys. And that's as of Showtime.
Bill Curtis
Bravo.
Peter Sagal
With his wife, Kristen Anderson Lopez, he wrote the the songs for the movies Frozen, Frozen 2, and Coco. And with Trey Parker and Matt Stone, he wrote the Broadway mega hit the Book of Mormon, which celebrated its 15th anniversary this spring. Bobby Lopez, welcome to. Wait, wait, don't tell me. So let's start here. Congratulations on the book of Mormon. 15 years on Broadway. That puts you in the rarified heights of, like, Broadway composers.
Bobby Lopez
We're the 10th longest running show of all time.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. How does it feel to be the Andrew Lloyd Webber of F bomb shows?
Bobby Lopez
That feels good. It feels good. I would never put myself in his rarefied air.
Peter Sagal
But no, no. If you've never seen the Book of Mormon, I don't know how that's possible at this point, but it is incredibly obscene in the best possible way. And I heard a story. It was actually in Josh Gad's memoir. Josh Gad from the original cast. He says he was at an initial workshop. You were working out the show, and he, like, read or performed one of the songs, and he actually said to Trey Parker, one of the authors, he said, you can't do this. This is too offensive. People will kill you. Did. Did you ever worry about that?
Bobby Lopez
You know, I give him this when you read the Book of Mormon on the page. You know, there's a convention in writing the scripts out where all the lyrics are in all caps, which looks like screaming yes. So when you have the lyrics to Hasidiga Ibuy filling the page, it really jumps out at a different tone than, like, the music makes it much sweeter.
Mo Rocca
Yeah.
Peter Sagal
And I just want to say to the audience, if I were to translate that phrase, the name of a song, not only would we be canceled, NPR would be burned to the ground. So, yeah. And so the music. Were you surprised that this musical about Mormon missionaries, with its extraordinary language and themes and sense of humor, was the monster hit that it became?
Bobby Lopez
We were hoping to run a year and maybe get some protesters, but instead, instead we became this long running mainstream right down the middle hit, which still baffles me.
Peter Sagal
I know, it's amazing. And the amazing thing is the Mormon Church was okay with it, right? They kind of got on board.
Bobby Lopez
Yeah, they kind of judo'd us. They were like, let's put an ad in the playbill. You've seen the show, now read the book.
Peter Sagal
Great ad.
Mo Rocca
Great ad.
Peter Sagal
Are you aware of anybody who came off the streets, saw the Book of Mormon, the musical, in any of its many iterations or productions, and then said, you know what? I think I'll look into this religion?
Bobby Lopez
No, but I would love to meet you if you're out there.
Peter Sagal
Before we leave the topic, I understand that in June, once the show comes back from its theater catching fire, the show is going to be doing something called Magical Mormon Mystery Week.
Bobby Lopez
Yes.
Peter Sagal
Sounds exciting.
Bobby Lopez
We're having Josh Gad, Andrew Rannells, and all of the original company kind of come back and pop into the show sort of random in random scenes. And I will get to also be in it with Matt and Trey on certain nights.
Peter Sagal
Really?
Bobby Lopez
Trey's in it every night? Yeah, Trey's. Trey's gonna play Jesus and Joseph Smith every night that week.
Peter Sagal
So from what I know of him, that's kind of a dream come true, right?
Bobby Lopez
I mean, he looks like Jesus and Joseph Smith.
Mo Rocca
That's true.
Peter Sagal
That's true. Famously, you are the youngest person ever to egot, Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony. And you also are the only person, as far as I know, who's done it twice in each category, sometimes more than twice. And we're just wondering, as the only person in the entire world to have ever done that, what kind of privileges does that get you? Do you get to cut in line at the movie theater?
Bobby Lopez
Oh, let's see. My family, my kids, my Kids were very young at the time, and they and Kristen, my wife, got together and made an EGOT necklace like the one from 30 rock out of. Out of cardboard and macaroni and glue.
Peter Sagal
Oh, that's awesome. That's great.
Bobby Lopez
I hope you can see it. It's online.
Peter Sagal
That's fabulous. Speaking of your wife, who's astonishingly talented and shared in your Oscars because she co wrote the songs from Coco and the and Frozen with you, she is missing that Tony award. So she's an ego.
Bobby Lopez
She's a big ego, though.
Peter Sagal
Big ego. Any tension around the house or maybe when you're having those spats like we all do, you're like, don't try and
Bobby Lopez
get me in trouble, man.
Peter Sagal
I know. My Tony says it's your turn to clean the kitchen. Yeah. No, no. Is that tough, though, to. I mean, because you obviously work very successfully with your wife. Does it, like, interfere with, like, your daily life? Do you pause and go, wait a minute, is that a song? Did we just write a song? Is that a song? Or is it, like. You're not gonna write a song about this, right?
Bobby Lopez
Absolutely. We are on vacation and we end up, like, running to write something. Like, not for any project. Just like we wrote lyrics to. Our kids loved Harry Potter way back when, and we wrote a whole Harry Potter quiz show set of lyrics to the Harry Potter theme. It was. What time is it? You know what time it is?
Bill Curtis
Time for the Harry Potter quiz.
Bobby Lopez
And it went on. I got the whole thing.
Peter Sagal
Really?
Mo Rocca
Wow.
Peter Sagal
Well, Bobby Lopez, it's a joy to talk to you. We have invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling.
Bill Curtis
You are 15 going on 16.
Peter Sagal
It's the 15th anniversary of book of Mormon, which means it's time to start planning for the show's appearance on the MTV reality show my super sweet 16. That's the show in which America's richest and most entitled teenagers threw extravagant birthday parties and then cried at them. So we're going to ask you three questions about that show. Answer two of them correctly, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners.
Bobby Lopez
Wait, give me a second to watch all those episodes.
Peter Sagal
Yes, please do that, Bill. Who is Bobby Lopez playing for?
Bill Curtis
Laksham Wong of Gaithersburg, Maryland.
Peter Sagal
All right, here we go. In season seven as fans, remember, birthday girl sky got upset because all her friends were inside dancing, meaning that none of them could see what A, her head projected onto Mount Rushmore, which was the venue for the party. B, her arrival at the party, riding the same giant gold lion that Katy Perry rode in her super bowl halftime show, or C, her grand entrance in a 20 foot tall dress with a hydraulic lift built into it to raise her into the air.
Bobby Lopez
Well, that sounds like a. A girl obsessed with wicked. I think I'll choose C. You were right.
Peter Sagal
That's exactly right. All right. My super sweet 16. My super sweet 16 was so popular that it had several spin off shows, including which of these A, exiled, where the parents of teens who had parties in the show send those teens to remote countries by themselves to see if they can survive B B, my super depressing 30 about people realizing they were totally unequipped for adulthood, or C, I hate them all interviews with the caterers, waiters and other people who staff the parties.
Bobby Lopez
Wow, they all sound fake. I pick C again.
Peter Sagal
You're gonna pick C again. I hate them all interviews with the staff of the parties. No, I'm afraid it was a. Exiled. It was a whole lasted one season. They sent these entitled kids and as far as I know, they all survived and came back. All right, last question. If you get this right, you win. My super sweet 16 has inspired other creators, including which of these A, your friend Trey Parker, who made a South park episode where Satan throws his own Super Sweet 16 Party B, choreographer Twyla Tharp, who created the dance show called Les Insufferables, or C, actor Nicolas Cage, who vowed that his own kid's birthday party would be better than any of those parties in the show and subsequently had to declare bankruptcy. Again,
Bobby Lopez
it was a right.
Peter Sagal
It was a yes. Ray Parker made an homage to Super Sweet 16 on South Park. He called the maker of south park called my super sweet 16 quote the most disgusting foul show ever made. Bill, how did Bobby Lopez do in our quiz?
Bill Curtis
He got two out of three and that's good enough for us.
Peter Sagal
Bobby Lopez is the double egot winning songwriter and composer of Book of Mormon, which you can see during Magical Mormon Mystery Week at the Eugene O' Neill Theater from June 9 through June 14. Bobby Lopez, thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait, don't tell me. What a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you. Take care. Bye bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
Bobby Lopez
Love you.
Peter Sagal
In just a minute, Bill is going to ruin things for your dentist in our Listener Limerick challenge. Call 1-88-HAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait wait, Don't tell me from NPR Foreign.
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Bill Curtis
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Mo Rocca, Roxanne Roberts and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Peter Sagal
Thank you, Belen. Just a minute. Go order some limericks for the table. It's our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call. 1-888-wait wait. That's 1-888-924-8924 right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Mo Elderly people often have problems with balance, forcing them to use canes or walkers. But a research team in Japan has come up with a better way. Simply fit the elderly with a what?
Mo Rocca
With a Michelin man costume. That's great, right? Pneumatic cushioned. Yeah. You would never hurt falling.
Peter Sagal
No, it's something that will help them keep their balance. I'll give you a hint. We don't know if they can wag them.
Mo Rocca
Oh, to give old people tails.
Peter Sagal
Yes, give old people enormous tails.
Mo Rocca
That is so cute.
Peter Sagal
It would be adorable. Researchers in Japan and engineers have developed a three foot long mechanical motorized tail called arc, which automatically moves to counterbalance you when you lean over. It also makes it much easier to tell when grandma is happy.
Mo Rocca
So to make them like marsupials?
Peter Sagal
No, not exactly. The idea is there are a lot of animals, like say, monkeys or cheetahs, that use tails for balance. They can counterbalance their own movements and stay stable.
Mo Rocca
Oh, so Grandma might be swinging from a tree now?
Peter Sagal
It's possible. Wait a minute. That's the Arca 2. They're working on that. To keep the wearer balanced as they move, the tail uses pneumatic pumps to move in reaction to the user's motions. So if you think a walker makes you look bad, just try looking and sounding like a T. Rex with ibs.
Roxanne Roberts
So here, that is the question. How do you go to the bathroom?
Peter Sagal
Yeah, I know.
Roxanne Roberts
Wearing a giant tail.
Peter Sagal
Oh, God. Oh, God. You're there. You're with Grandpa. Everything's going great. He's like, oh, no, Grandpa's lifting his tail. Just.
Mo Rocca
Grandpa's getting some tail at assistant lipa.
Peter Sagal
No, no, no, no.
Mo Rocca
He's. Oh, he's Sadie again. No, no, he's actually getting a tail.
Peter Sagal
Hari. A gym in Denver is being sued by owners of condos in the building above the gym. They say the gym has hurt their property values because of the. What?
Hari Kondabolu
The stench?
Peter Sagal
Not the stench.
Bill Curtis
The
Hari Kondabolu
water from the shower.
Peter Sagal
Not the water from the shower.
Hari Kondabolu
From the sound.
Peter Sagal
Yes. Specifically, what sound? Oh, no.
Hari Kondabolu
Oh, grunting.
Peter Sagal
Grunting, yes. They say that their property values are diminished because of the constant grunting from the gym. The Denver gym, that's a gym with weight machines, treadmills, diced ham, green pepper and cheddar cheese, has faced constant complaints from the tenants above it since it opened two years ago. Now residents are suing the owners of the gym. They say, quote, weightlifters groaning, yelling, and struggling to lift weights. That last one sounds suspiciously less like a complaint and more like a sick burn. Residents say they're unable to sleep, enjoy dinner or work from home, unquote, because of the noise. While the weightlifters say, one more, you got this. Ah. Unquote.
Hari Kondabolu
I mean, I'm sure people are having sex in that building. And there's the sounds of sex.
Peter Sagal
The grunting, I guess, from Sex Next Door would be bad enough, but if they were also saying, oh, one more, you got this from her. Very distressing thing. I'd move.
Mo Rocca
Can you spot me?
Peter Sagal
You have to wipe that down if you're done with it. Coming up. It's Lightning fill in the blank. But at first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-88-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago, where you can catch us on the road. For example, we will be in Austin, Texas on June 4, and there are still a few tickets left with more shows being announced soon. You want to go to nprpresents.org for tickets and information to all of those live events. Hi, Jerome. Wait, wait, don't tell me.
Listener/Contestant
Hi, this is Bill Valdez in Columbus, Ohio.
Peter Sagal
Columbus, where we've been a few times. What do you do there in the Capitol?
Listener/Contestant
Well, I own, I own a data analytics consulting firm. But my family and I are also very active with golden retriever rescue. And we have two adopted goldens that we have trained to be therapy dogs and we spread joy throughout central Ohio with them.
Peter Sagal
Oh, that's great. I've always wondered, like, what specific training do therapy dogs have?
Listener/Contestant
Generally speaking, they have to do two things. Well, you have to have strangers tell you you're beautiful and you have to be willing to get hugs and, and kissed by strangers a lot. So those are the, the single qualifications.
Peter Sagal
Oh, my God. I could be a therapy dog.
Roxanne Roberts
You don't have enough hair.
Peter Sagal
I could be a therapy hairless cat. Yes. So there. All right. Well, welcome to the show, Bill. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?
Listener/Contestant
I am ready to play.
Peter Sagal
All right, here we go. Here's your first limerick.
Bill Curtis
Not all tooth decay carries much gravity. Scanty flossings, no moral depravity. So dentists, please chill and put down that drill. We don't need to fill every cavity, right?
Peter Sagal
The New York cavity.
Bill Curtis
Yes.
Peter Sagal
The New York Times reported this week that just because your dentist said you, you need a cavity fill doesn't mean you really do. No thanks, doc. I actually like it when drinking cold water sends searing pain stabbing into my skull. It turns out that many dentists recommend filling cavities that can be treated with better dental hygiene. Some say they do this because they can charge more for a filling. But the truth is they just love drilling into your teeth. It's soothing for them.
Hari Kondabolu
Wait, I don't Understand, because like, a cavity is a hole.
Peter Sagal
A cavity is a hole. But here's the thing. New standards for dental care say that in the very first stages of a cavity can be reversed with better hygiene. Right. Better brushing. What your dentist recommends. Again, this is true. Actually depends on when they went to dental school. So a younger dentist, the latest standards might just give you medicated toothpaste, send you home. An older dentist will grab for the drill right away. And a really old dentist will just tie that old tooth to the doorknob.
Roxanne Roberts
Here's the problem I always have. I keep thinking like a logical person.
Peter Sagal
Always a mistake.
Roxanne Roberts
It's always a mistake because if you have a cavity, then you have a hole in your tooth.
Peter Sagal
You do.
Roxanne Roberts
And this suggests that somehow that hole will get filled in with just like medicated toothpaste. But that doesn't seem logical given the fact that you've got eroded enamel.
Peter Sagal
Right. We're really giving this a lot of thought. Well, it's not that.
Hari Kondabolu
It's not that much thought. It's like it's a hole. Holes get bigger. Yeah, that's the thought.
Peter Sagal
But
Hari Kondabolu
the holes going to get bigger. So they got to fill it in.
Peter Sagal
Right. Otherwise it will, as you say, get bigger.
Hari Kondabolu
That's right.
Peter Sagal
Absolutely. Here's your next limerick.
Bill Curtis
Waluigi and Peach are not scoffing. What an awesome box to get set off in. As you've laid down to rest, it is one final quest. Put more stars, wands and coins on that coffin.
Peter Sagal
Yes, coffin. Congratulations. For video game fans getting on in years, there's a new line of Super Mario Brothers themed coffins that you can buy for yourself or a loved one. They come in bright red, green, or pink. They can be customized with images of your favorite characters. It's a fun and creative way to let all your loved ones know you died as you lived, wasting your entire life playing video games.
Hari Kondabolu
Your entire lives.
Peter Sagal
Exactly true. Here's your last limerick.
Bill Curtis
Highland cattle look fuzzy and snuggly and visitors pose with them smugly. We need people to pass, not to stop and harass. So we breed them to make them more ugly.
Peter Sagal
Yes. A British farmer, sick and tired of influencers coming onto his land to take selfies and with his beautiful cows, has developed a plan to stop it. He's going to breed the cows to make them uglier. That is a pretty clever solution. But let's ask the big question. Why was he previously breeding the cows to make them hot.
Hari Kondabolu
I don't think I could tell the difference between an attractive cow and a less attractive cow.
Mo Rocca
Well, there's also ugly cows that are sexy. Like being attract. Like. Right. There's sexiness and then there's just conventional good looks. So this could really backfire.
Peter Sagal
So are you suggesting that some cows just have sexy personalities?
Mo Rocca
Well, just like some people, like Benicio Del Toro is not conventionally handsome, but he has a lot of sex appeal. Like you could end up with a really, really groundbreaking, iconoclastic, sexy cow.
Roxanne Roberts
Or, or the farmer could just build a fence so the influencers didn't come
Peter Sagal
on their master, but then we wouldn't be talking about it.
Roxanne Roberts
This is true.
Peter Sagal
Bill, how did Bill do on our quiz?
Bill Curtis
Bill was on top of it. He got all three very good jobs.
Peter Sagal
Congratulations, Bill. Well done. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing. Take care. Thanks.
Listener/Contestant
Have a good day.
Peter Sagal
Bye.
Bobby Lopez
Bye.
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Peter Sagal
Now it is time for our final game, Lightning. Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score?
Bill Curtis
Stand back. Mo has five, Roxanne has two. Hari has one.
Peter Sagal
All right, Hari, you're in third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. After an outbreak on a cruise ship, global health agencies are racing to track people who have come in contact with Blank virus Hantavirus. Right. This week, CDC data showed that ER visits due to blank bites have surged.
Hari Kondabolu
Insect bites.
Peter Sagal
I'm going to give it to you. Tick bites. According to new polls, Blank's approval rating has dropped below 35%.
Hari Kondabolu
Trump.
Peter Sagal
Right. After facing backlash over their new $9 cup of premium coffee. The CEO of Starbucks defended the drink, saying, cheaper than gas. No, he said that actually might be true. No. He defended their new nine dollar cup of coffee by saying, at least it's not a ten dollar cup of coffee. On Wednesday, it was announced that Golden Tempo, the winner of the Blank, will not run in the Preakness Stakes Kentucky Derby. Right. On Monday, the head of FIFA defended the high price of 20, 26 blank tickets.
Hari Kondabolu
World Cup.
Peter Sagal
Right. This week, a zoo in Armenia assured concerned residents that the escaped zebra people were seeing running loose in the streets. Was just Blank.
Hari Kondabolu
A ghost?
Peter Sagal
No, a donkey painted black and white. Residents of the Armenian capital of Yerevan were concerned that there had been an escape at the zoo when they saw what looked like a zebra wandering around. But the zoo knew something was up when all of their animals were accounted for. And everybody who called was like, hey, I think I saw your zebra near my house, but its stripes were running. Bill, how did Hari do in our quiz?
Bill Curtis
Good. Five. Right. Ten more points. Total of 11 puts him in the lead.
Peter Sagal
There you go. All right, Rox, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, intelligence officials said that Iran could withstand a U.S. blockade of the blank for months.
Roxanne Roberts
The Hormuz Strait.
Peter Sagal
Right. On Wednesday, a judge unsealed Blank's purported suicide note.
Roxanne Roberts
Jeffrey Epstein.
Peter Sagal
Right. On Wednesday, NASA released 12,000 photos from the Artemis 2 mission to the Blank. To the moon. Right. According to new data, Blank prices have risen 50% since February.
Roxanne Roberts
I'm going to say gas.
Peter Sagal
Right. This week, a marine biologist in Vancouver rescued a blue heron who got its foot stuck in Blank.
Roxanne Roberts
In a lobster.
Peter Sagal
No clothes in an oyster.
Roxanne Roberts
Ah.
Peter Sagal
On Thursday, NASA said that the Titan rover may have actually accidentally brought fungus to Blank.
Roxanne Roberts
Mars.
Peter Sagal
Yes. On Sunday, GameStop's CEO made an unsolicited $56 billion offer to buy online auction site Blank.
Roxanne Roberts
EBay.
Peter Sagal
Right. This week, a man in Wisconsin had perfect timing when he blanked while teaching a CPR class.
Roxanne Roberts
Oh, is this the guy that had a heart attack and then his class saved him with cpr?
Peter Sagal
Yes. He had a heart attack while teaching a class on cpr. Very good. The man who's really gunning for that teacher of the year award was in the middle of teaching a class on CPR when he started suffering a heart attack. He did recover, but then he had to have 22 more heart attacks, so the other kids in class got a chance. Bill, how did Roxanne do?
Bill Curtis
Very well. 7 right. 14 more. 16 left total. She's in the lead. There you are.
Peter Sagal
All right, how many then does Mo need to win?
Bill Curtis
Six to win nothing.
Hari Kondabolu
Mo.
Peter Sagal
Here we go. This is for the game. On Wednesday, media mogul Blank passed away at the age of 87.
Mo Rocca
Ted Turner.
Peter Sagal
Right. On Monday, the Supreme Court temporarily restored access to the Blank pill.
Mo Rocca
The abortion pill.
Hari Kondabolu
Yes.
Peter Sagal
Due to the increased energy demand of data centers, Pennsylvania authorities are considering reactivating the nuclear plant at Blank Three Mile Island. Right. On Wednesday, Planck announced His presidential library would open in June.
Mo Rocca
Barack Obama.
Peter Sagal
Right. According to clinical trials, Moderna's new MRNA based blank shot is more effective than the traditional one.
Mo Rocca
Coronavirus?
Peter Sagal
No, they're flu shot. This week, the UK version of late night sketch show Blank was renewed for a second season.
Mo Rocca
Snl.
Peter Sagal
Right. This week, a man in Scotland was hospitalized after he accidentally drove his car into the blank.
Mo Rocca
Does haggis come in field? Into a bog?
Peter Sagal
Into a bog? No, not a peat bog, not a haggis. He drove his car into a wall painted to look like the entrance to a tunnel. In the most Looney Tunes ass accident in automobile history, the Scottish driver drove directly into a wall because it was painted to look like the entrance to a tunnel. Emergency workers took him to the hospital where doctors are working hard to get the cartoon birds to stop circling his mouth. Bill, did Mo do well enough to win?
Bill Curtis
So close five, right? 10 more points. His 15 is one short of Roxanne. Who's the winner?
Peter Sagal
There you go. He shows up, she wins. In just a minute, our panelists will predict now that they're coming back. What would be the surprise hit twice toy found in cereal boxes. But first, let me tell you all that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Gaedecker writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our ops manager is Jasira Vardak. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Lederman, composer of theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson and Monica Hickey. Peter Guin is visiting the Pope. Our visual host is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what are we going to find in our cereal boxes?
Hari Kondabolu
Hari Kondabolu, Jesus on the cross.
Roxanne Roberts
Roxanne Roberts, A little plastic Nobel pencil prize because all the kids really, really want one.
Mo Rocca
And Mo Rocca, just in time for the affordability crisis. Glow in the dark. Food stamps.
Bill Curtis
And if any of that shows up, we're gonna have it right here on Wait, Wait, don't Tell me.
Peter Sagal
Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Hari Kondabolu, Mo Rock and Roxanne Roberts. Thank you, our fabulous audience here at the Studio Baker Theatre in downtown Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you for listening, wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal. We' next week. This is npr.
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Peter Sagal
Com.
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NPR Today.
Episode: "Spirit Airlines, The Book of Mormon, and Grunting"
Date: May 9, 2026
Host: Peter Sagal | Panelists: Hari Kondabolu, Roxanne Roberts, Mo Rocca | Special Guest: Bobby Lopez
In this lively episode of NPR’s news quiz "Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me!", Peter Sagal and his comedic panel dissect the week’s wackiest headlines— from the abrupt demise of Spirit Airlines, resurrected cereal box prizes, and the Pope’s banking woes, to Japanese engineering for elderly balance and the unexpected return of gym grunting as a public menace. EGOT-winning composer Bobby Lopez (The Book of Mormon, Frozen) joins as the celebrity guest to reminisce about his Broadway triumphs and play for a lucky listener.
“Spirit was doomed the second they chose that shade of yellow ... airplanes should not look like crime scene tape.” (03:30)
“Go with Citibank. Chase has too many beans.” (07:36)
“I found a loose cigarette in my box of muesli.” (09:09)
“We were hoping to run a year and maybe get some protesters ... instead we became this long running, mainstream, right-down-the-middle hit, which still baffles me.” (23:56)
“You’ve seen the show, now read the book.” (24:18)
“We end up, like, running to write something. Not for any project ... we wrote a whole Harry Potter quiz show set of lyrics to the Harry Potter theme...” (27:17)
“There’s also ugly cows that are sexy ... you could end up with a really, really groundbreaking, iconoclastic, sexy cow.” (43:35)
“Would it help if I told you I’m the Pope?” (Bill Curtis quoting NYT, 05:20)
“Glad kids are getting their hands into cereal boxes again— veterinarian style.” (Peter Sagal, 08:00)
“Bear on your porch. Rude!” (Peter Sagal, 10:48)
“I mean, I’m sure people are having sex in the building ... if they were also saying, ‘one more, you got this,’ very distressing...” (Peter Sagal, 37:20)
“Researchers... developed a three foot long mechanical tail... It also makes it much easier to tell when grandma is happy.” (Peter Sagal, 34:43)
| Timestamp | Segment/Quote | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:03 | Spirit Airlines closure, panel commentary | | 05:20 | Pope’s banking ordeal | | 07:45 | Cereal box prizes return | | 10:48 | AI security camera confused a woman for a bear | | 14:46 | Bluff the Listener: Cinema in Chinese EV headlights | | 21:14 | “Not My Job” with Bobby Lopez | | 23:56 | Book of Mormon mainstream success (Lopez) | | 25:00 | Book of Mormon’s “Magical Mormon Mystery Week” | | 26:05 | EGOT necklace story | | 34:22 | Motorized tails for elderly in Japan | | 36:32 | The Denver gym grunting lawsuit | | 39:33 | Limerick Challenge begins |
The panel’s trademark quick wit and camaraderie shines throughout, lacing current events with irreverence and affectionate mockery. Their banter remains sharp yet never mean-spirited, offering both genuine news commentary and a hearty dose of comic relief.
For more Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me!, tune in next week or subscribe for bonus episodes at NPR Plus.