We admire dimes and Aasif Mandvi gives breakup advice

Summary

Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!

Episode: "We admire dimes and Aasif Mandvi gives breakup advice"
Air Date: March 21, 2026
Host: Peter Sagal
Panelists: Paula Poundstone, Alonzo Bodden, Shane Torres
Special Guest: Aasif Mandvi

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Episode Overview

This week’s episode of NPR’s beloved news quiz balances comic riffs on the week’s oddest news with a lively celebrity interview, an energized panel, and games for listeners. Major topics included: the legality of betting on reality TV, the unveiling of a new dime, the unmasking of Banksy, and Aasif Mandvi advising on breakups and recounting a surreal audition experience.

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Main Segments and Key Discussion Points

1. Panel Introduction & Listener Contest

(00:42–09:44)

• Listener Game: "Who's Bill This Time?"

  • Panel: Alonzo Bodden, Paula Poundstone, Shane Torres
  • Caller Grace from Vermont
  • Key topics for quiz questions:
    • Betting on Reality TV (Survivor, The Bachelor)
    • The New US Dime (Lady Liberty replaces FDR)
    • Banksy’s Identity Unmasked (Banksy is Robin Gunningham)

• Notable Quotes:

  • On betting on "Survivor":
    “I put $40,000 on young Sheldon dying in a fire.” (Peter Sagal, 04:05)
  • On the new dime and currency controversies:
    “It turns out we are allowed to have women on currency as long as the woman is imaginary.” (Peter Sagal, 06:08)

• Memorable Banter:

  • Paula deprecates prediction markets:
    “If we were culling the less productive members of society, I’d start with whoever bet on Jesus returning.” (Paula Poundstone, 05:02–05:15)
  • Jokes comparing payphones to ancient relics for Gen Z listeners (07:08–07:39)

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2. Weird News Stories

(09:55–12:29)

• Topic: Looksmaxing Influencer Has a Notable (and Odd) Fan

  • Shane Clavicular, a bone-smashing looksmaxing influencer, had the late Ayatollah of Iran as a fan, per "Tehran Dispatch."
  • Mock speculation on the Ayatollah’s grooming routines.

• Quote:
  “There are aspects of a man's private life that are between him and God. … Please don’t drag me into this.” (Peter Sagal, quoting sources, 10:41–11:29)

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3. Bluff the Listener Game

(14:33–21:17)

• Caller Dimitri from Elon, NC

• Three News Stories (True Story Hidden Among Fakes):

  • Alonzo: First-time NYC visitor finds only kindness, not menace
  • Shane: Swedish death metal band mistakenly plays a convention of dentists
  • Paula: German tourist sues over spicy taco, phone problems—a real case

• Correct Answer: Paula’s story, a German tourist's legal journey through NYC after alleged food and tech mishaps.

• Notable Moment:
  "Paula's story sounded like a tort hypothetical…" (Caller Dimitri, 20:17)

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4. Not My Job: Aasif Mandvi Interview

(21:35–31:44)

• Background Highlights:

  • Mandvi on starting his career with murder mystery parties (with actor Connie Britton, 22:33–23:45)
  • New show: “The Miniature Wife” ("Honey I Shrunk the Kids meets Tom & Jerry") and starring in “Fallen Angels” on Broadway.
  • Getting cast on The Daily Show the same day as an audition—while in the throes of a breakup.

• Breakup Advice & Memorable Quotes:

  • “Like, the minute I got the Daily Show, I didn’t really care about my ex-girlfriend that much.” (Aasif Mandvi, 27:41)

• “Not My Job” Game – Wedding Cake Trivia:

  • Mandvi correctly identifies, with help from the audience, that the wild cake-smashing newlyweds got divorced (31:04).
  • “Oh, they lost a lot of good brides back then.” (Peter Sagal, on Roman wedding customs, 28:58)

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5. Panel Questions & Weekly News Oddities

(34:02–39:29)

• Topics:

  • Irish Goodbye: Etiquette experts now say leaving a party without saying goodbye is fine.
  • Birds Use Cigarette Butts: Birds use butts to repel parasites, to the panel’s skepticism and delight.
  • Playful mockery about avian habits and social pressures.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Birds are succumbing to peer pressure. … It’s just keeping up with the Red Winged Joneses.” (Paula Poundstone, 37:43, 37:54)

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6. Listener Limerick Challenge

(39:29–43:46)

• Caller Sarah
• Fun Limericks & Answers:
  • Comet with alcohol (“the comet is filled up with booze”)
  • Worry postponement as stress relief
  • Bull sharks form friendships

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7. Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank

(45:40–51:15)

• Score Recap:

  • Paula wins with 16 points
  • Shane debuts with a strong 15
  • Alonzo at 11

• Sample Questions:

  • World events, trivia on government actions, and quirky studies (ex: birds smoking; Norway's happiest country status).

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8. Panel Predictions

(52:02–52:22)

• Prompt: With Banksy’s identity revealed, what will he do next?
  • Alonzo: “Start a podcast.”
  • Shane: “Be the next Bachelorette.”
  • Paula: “Offer his services to elementary school kids for visual aids.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the new Lady Liberty dime:
  “It turns out we are allowed to have women on currency as long as the woman is imaginary.” (Peter Sagal, 06:08)
• On betting on religious prophecy:
  “There is, this is true, a big bet … on whether or not Jesus will return by the end of this year.” (Peter Sagal, 04:43)
• Aasif Mandvi on breakups:
  “The minute I got the Daily Show, I didn’t really care about my ex-girlfriend that much.” (27:41)
• On Irish goodbyes:
  “As a host, I prefer people say goodbye. … Otherwise you turn around and people are gone. It’s a little creepy.” (Paula Poundstone, 35:46–35:58)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Panel/Listener intros & Gambling on Reality TV: 00:42–04:52
• Dimes/Currency Segment: 05:33–07:00
• Banksy Identity Segment: 07:48–09:36
• Ayatollah & Looksmaxing: 09:55–12:29
• Bluff the Listener (NYC Stories): 14:33–21:17
• Aasif Mandvi Interview: 21:35–31:44
• Irish Goodbye, Birds Smoking: 34:02–38:28
• Limerick Challenge: 39:29–43:46
• Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank: 45:40–51:15
• Panel Predictions: 52:02–52:22

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Episode Vibe & Tone

As always, “Wait Wait…” delivers quick wit, running gags about cultural nostalgia (payphones, landlines), and a genial, teasing comedy. Paula’s dry sarcasm, Alonzo’s deadpan logic, and Shane’s new-to-the-panel energy blend for sustained laughs. Aasif Mandvi’s segment stands out for warmth and comic candor, especially in his honest breakup story and his infectious enthusiasm for acting with cardboard six-inch Elizabeth Banks.

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This episode is a must-listen for fans of oddball news, sharp panel banter, and backstage Broadway insights—with a delightfully silly undercurrent throughout.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

This message comes from Dun and Bradstreet. Imagine your business at the table for a loan, and they ask, who are you? A Duns number from Dun and Bradstreet gives your business a trusted identity and it's free. Visit D&B.com or download the MyDB mobile app.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm the voice so hot the mic drops itself. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Oh, thank you, everybody. Great to see you. Thank you so much. Later on today, we're going to be talking to former Daily show correspondent Asif Manvi, who left that show in 2017 to star in TV shows and movies and plays in which he didn't have to talk at all about the news. The man has timing, so give us a call before we figure out a way out. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Caller Grace]

Hi, Peter. This is Grace, and I'm calling from Peacham, Vermont.

[Peter Sagal]

Peacham, Vermont. I'm going to say that if I wrote like a TV show set in a fictional but charming Vermont town, I'd probably call it Peach Em. Is it what I imagine? Is it beautiful and verdant and filled with interesting people?

[Caller Grace]

Grace, you bet it is. It's a beautiful place. It's a hill town about an hour south of Quebec and 20 miles from the nearest Starbucks.

[Peter Sagal]

Whoa.

[Bill Curtis]

Whoa.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, Grace, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the comedian you can see April 9th at Tulalip Casino in Seattle and April 27th through May 3rd at the Comedy Cellar at the Rio in Las Vegas. It's Alonzo Bowden.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Hello, Grace.

[Caller Grace]

Oh, hello, Alonzo.

[Peter Sagal]

Next, she's a comedian you can see in Frederick, Maryland, on April 17 at the Weinberg center for the Arts and host of the podcast Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. It's Paula Poundstone.

[Paula Poundstone]

Hey, Grace.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, Paula. Love you, girl. Ange finally making his debut our show. It's a comedian whose podcast Coastal Idiots, can be heard every Tuesday on all the platforms. And you can catch him at the Den Theater here in Chicago as part of the Windy City comedy festival on August 6th. It's Shane Torres. Hi, Grace.

[Bill Curtis]

How are you?

[Caller Grace]

Hi, Shane.

[Caller Dimitri]

Nice to meet you.

[Peter Sagal]

So, Grace, you're going to play who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go?

[Caller Grace]

Oh, yeah, I'm ready.

[Peter Sagal]

Here we go. Your first quote is about the new trend of people gambling on reality tv.

[Bill Curtis]

Is it legal to take a boat to Fiji and watch the finalists on the beach with binoculars?

[Peter Sagal]

That was a question the New York Times asked after news that people are now betting on the outcome of what reality show?

[Caller Grace]

Oh, gosh, I need a hint.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, you can also bet on things like how many times Jeff Probst says, come on in, guys.

[Caller Grace]

Survivor.

[Peter Sagal]

Survivor. Yes.

[Bill Curtis]

Good.

[Peter Sagal]

The prediction markets like Polymarket and Kalshi, they're now taking bets on the outcome of reality shows, meaning someday you might hear a small child say, daddy had to sell the house because Kayla won the Bachelor. So this is.

[Alonzo Bowden]

So, Peter.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Let me ask you.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Can I put a bet down now on this show?

[Peter Sagal]

Sure, why not?

[Alonzo Bowden]

I'm all in on Paula Poundstone.

[Peter Sagal]

I think. Really, everybody. The odds, man. You can't get good odds on Paula.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. If there's some sort of reality show theme during this show, I'm definitely going to be the winner.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. I'm just going to say, as an experienced gambler from way back, betting on reality shows. Reality shows, that's for amateurs. I put $40,000 on young Sheldon dying in a fire. So thanks to these new prediction markets, you can now bet on almost literally anything. The opening box office of the new Avengers movie. You can bet on that. The highest temperature in Des Moines, Iowa, next month. There is, this is true, a big bet on Polymarket right now on whether or not Jesus will return by the end of this year. You can bet on that. I mean, they supposedly it's all legit, but it's a little suspicious that a guy with the screen name Papa Leo, 14 has half a million on.

[Alonzo Bowden]

No.

[Paula Poundstone]

You know, if we were culling.

[Shane Torres]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

You know, if we were, you know,

[Peter Sagal]

like, trying to remove Exactly. The less, shall we say, productive members

[Paula Poundstone]

of society, then I say you just find whoever made a bet on that at all.

[Asif Manvi]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

And that's the first batch.

[Peter Sagal]

You need to go

[Paula Poundstone]

and, you know, it's not a popularity contest.

[Peter Sagal]

We will, you know, we do. We round them up, we put them on an island, and then we bet on that. Here's your next quote.

[Bill Curtis]

Why Are we wasting money making these two nickels work just fine?

[Peter Sagal]

That was a commenter in the ABC News affiliate talking about the new Watt being made by the US Mint.

[Caller Grace]

The new dime.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Dimes. Dimes, yes. In honor of the nation's 250th anniversary, the US Mint has begun shipping out shiny new dimes. And on the front of the new dime is a profile of Lady Liberty

[Commercial Announcer]

that has replaced the old profile of fdr.

[Peter Sagal]

It turns out we are allowed to have women on currency as long as the woman is imaginary.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Sad but true.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, he's just stating a fact, people.

[Peter Sagal]

It's a little controversial because the eagle on the back used to hold arrows in an olive branch, but they have now gotten rid of the olive branch, so it's more warlike and people are like, ah, this is Trump again. He's doing this. But no, it was actually designed under Joe Biden. In fact, Joe Biden unfit the new dime by pulling it from behind your ear and telling you not to spend it all in one place.

[Alonzo Bowden]

I think it's funny that the dime is controversial because I suspect they could have rolled out the new dimes and not said anything and no one would have noticed.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true. Nobody would have liked.

[Alonzo Bowden]

When have you last looked at a dime?

[Peter Sagal]

When's the last time you used a dime?

[Alonzo Bowden]

Well, now they're gonna have to bring back payphones, so we have something to do with it.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true.

[Paula Poundstone]

I loved payphones. Like in an airport, when you can get the kind that had the seat in it.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah, you could close the door. The life of the lap of luxury in there.

[Paula Poundstone]

It was. Yeah, it was like a refuge. I was. I'd get in there with my phone book and just have at it.

[Shane Torres]

What's a payphone?

[Bill Curtis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alonzo Bowden]

All the.

[Shane Torres]

I'm a little younger.

[Alonzo Bowden]

All the Gen Z, you listeners just. Oh, there they go again.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, there they are talking about how

[Alonzo Bowden]

good it used to be payphones.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. Well, even mentioning a phone book to a Gen Z er, you have to explain it's a book that doxed everyone.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, we have one more quote for you. This is from the spokesperson for a mysterious artist who, until now we've known only by his pseudonym.

[Bill Curtis]

The artist has decided to say nothing.

[Peter Sagal]

That artist was staying silent after his identity was finally revealed this week. Who is it?

[Caller Grace]

Another one.

[Bill Curtis]

DJ Khaled.

[Caller Grace]

Oh, somebody help me.

[Peter Sagal]

I have another hint. I have another hint. He is famous for the paintings he puts up on the sides of buildings, including, appropriately, Banksy. Banksy. Yes. Banksy. An investigation by Reuters has finally revealed the real identity of Banksy. His real name is is Robin Gunningham, which I guess explains why he calls himself Banksy. It's gonna be so weird now. He was this mysterious figure. Now he's just a guy. He'll be taken out the trash and his neighbors will be like, hey, Robin Gunningham. Saw your devastating social commentary last week. Nicely done.

[Alonzo Bowden]

You think his neighbors are like, so that's why there were so many spray cans.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Alonzo Bowden]

I wonder every week in a.

[Shane Torres]

We just thought he was huffing it.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Alonzo Bowden]

So does this. How does this affect the value?

[Peter Sagal]

That is a good question. Art collectors have wondered if this revelation might negatively affect the prices of Banksy's work. He's no longer that mysterious.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. Dip with Rembrandt.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. True. One Banksy dealer doesn't think so. Quote, my clients buy Banksy's art because of the art itself. He said, lying. It's disappointing. It's just some random guy. It would have been so fun if they were like, we can finally reveal the real identity of famed to street artist Banksy.

[Caller Grace]

And.

[Peter Sagal]

And it is Shaquille o'.

[Asif Manvi]

Neal.

[Peter Sagal]

Bill, how did Grace do on our quiz? Ultimately?

[Bill Curtis]

Grace, you got there eventually. You are a winner. Yay.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Grace.

[Caller Grace]

Thank you guys so much.

[Peter Sagal]

Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Shane Clavicular is the now famous looks maxing influencer. He's done everything to improve his appearance up to and including smashing the bones in his face. According to a report we saw this week. He had a very surprising fan. Who was it?

[Bill Curtis]

Oh, my God.

[Peter Sagal]

Please, somebody yell Paula Poundstone. That would be arguably even more surprising, but it's not.

[Shane Torres]

Paulo, I would love anyone.

[Peter Sagal]

I will give you a hand. We don't know if his son has inherited this enthusiasm along with the leadership of Iran's Revolutionary Council.

[Bill Curtis]

Oh, the new leader of Iran. The new president.

[Peter Sagal]

Actually, the old one. Oh, yes. The now late supreme leader of Iran. According to a website called Tehran Dispatch, which seems to offer otherwise very serious reports about things going on in Iran. The late Ayatollah watched 300 hours of content from online. Insane person Clavicular. This is very surprising because the Ayatollah wasn't even that hot. According to one of the Ayatollah's associates familiar with the discovery, Quote, there are aspects of a man's private life that are between him and God, according to God. Quote, please don't drag me into this.

[Paula Poundstone]

I bet God says that a lot, probably.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Particularly now.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. God wears a T shirt that says that.

[Alonzo Bowden]

I wonder if he was watching it or was his wife like, hey, look at this.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Hey, look at this.

[Peter Sagal]

Have you ever considered shaving? Have you ever considered shaving the beard? Maybe?

[Paula Poundstone]

Could you put the hat askew?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, a little bit cocky kind of thing.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Anyway, meanwhile, when asked for a comment on this clavicular, said, quote, what's a ran? You're so pretty. Oh, so pretty. You really knock me off my feet. Coming up, our panelists take a bite out of the Big Apple in our bluff the Listener game Call one triple eight Wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, wait, don't tell me from npr,

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Peter Sagal]

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These days it feels like the news changes every hour. Well, NPR has a podcast that does that too. NPR News now brings you a fresh five minute episode every hour of the day with the latest, most important headlines in episodes that are clear, fact based and easy to digest. Listen to NPR News now on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell Me the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Shane Torres, Alonzo Bowden and the one and only Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now it is time for the wait, wait, don't tell me. Bluff the listener game. Call 1, 8, 8, 8, wait wait. To play our game on the air. Hi. You are on. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter.

[Caller Dimitri]

This is Dimitri from Elon, North Carolina.

[Peter Sagal]

Elon, North Carolina. How many signatures does the petition to change the town's name have at this point?

[Caller Dimitri]

Trust me, the school definitely has done a little bit of a rebrand.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. So. Oh, yes. Elon University, right? Yes, yes. Are you a student there?

[Caller Dimitri]

I just graduated from their law school back in December.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, really? That's awesome. Congratulations.

[Caller Dimitri]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. And what kind of law do you anticipate to.

[Caller Dimitri]

If I was to practice, I would want to do like civil rights or try to work for government agencies and make sure that, you know, things work well and work the way they're supposed to.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm glad. I'm glad at least one person wants that to happen. I hope you get that job. Dimitri, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Dimitri's topic?

[Bill Curtis]

Give my regards to Broadway.

[Peter Sagal]

You never know what might happen on a trip to New York City. You could run into a celebrity. You could step in any number of mystery puddles. Our panelists are going to tell you about one tourist trip to the Big Apple that was so memorable, it made the news. Pick the one who's telling the truth. He'll win our prize. The wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

[Caller Dimitri]

Sure am.

[Peter Sagal]

Alright. First, let's hear from Alonzo Bowden.

[Alonzo Bowden]

When Connor Langley from Dalzell, South Carolina told his friends and neighbors he was going to New York for the first time, he was warned New York was a dangerous town where nothing was green and everyone was dangerous. Prepared for the worst, Connor hit New York. And immediately he was struck by how aggressive the city was. Aggressively nice. When lost at a train station, an older lady helped him get to his hostel in Brooklyn. When staring up at the Empire State Building, he realized he was in someone's way. When a man yelled, hey, hey, I'm walking here. Step aside and enjoy the beauty of our city, my friend at Central park. He asked a lady why New York had such a reputation for being mean when the people were so nice. And she said, it was a weird thing about New York. The people are nice, but to protect that, they act mean. Connor just nodded and asked where to get some bad pizza because he was told even the bad pizza was actually pretty good.

[Peter Sagal]

A man is stunned to find New Yorkers are filled with kind, helpful people who give you the time of day. Your next New York minute comes from Shane Torres.

[Shane Torres]

Many artists dream of making it big in New York City. This is no different for fledgling Swedish metal band Danderkot, roughly translated to Death Breath, who this week ended their three week American tour with a show in New York. As the band pulled up to the venue for a sound check, they could not believe the enormity of it. After playing 200, 300 capacity rooms the whole tour, they were now pulling up to the Javits center, an enormous convention center in Manhattan. But no, Dondricott did not hit it big overnight. This was all result of mistaken identity as the band had been booked to play a dental convention. Because Dondercott translates to Death Breath, the slang term dentists used for halitosis, one organizer wrongly assumed the band was dental metal, not death metal. But they went ahead and played a signature song like Mouth of Hell and you'd are the cavity of my soul to over 3,000 dentists, aka new fans. When asked by the website Metal Injection what he thought about the gig, frontman Jan Skarsgrd said, I loved it. These dentists are way more disturbed than any of our regular fans.

[Peter Sagal]

A Swedish death metal band ends up entertaining 3,000 dentists at the Javits Center. Your last story from the City that Never Sleeps comes from Paula Poundstone.

[Paula Poundstone]

Faisal Mans of Schemerhofen, Germany, came to New York City on holiday in August of 2024 to take his bite out of the Big Apple. By the time he left, he was seeking 20 million in damages. Quite a bite, in fact. Mr. Manz's alleged out of towner odyssey of mistreatment began when he took a bite of a Taco Bell from los Tacos Number One on 43rd street, where he says his tongue and mouth were burning and immediately worsening to gastrointestinal and emotional distress. So he sued. Days later, he tried to use his phone inside the Walmart Supercenter in Secaucus, New Jersey, probably to buy some Pepto Bismol. His phone wouldn't work inside the Walmart, so he sued. This week, all of Mr. Montz's cases were dismissed. But with international tourism at such a dismal low, the possibility of luring foreigners back to the Big Apple with a soothe the crap on a New York City tour shouldn't be tossed aside.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here are your choices. Somebody had a memorable Trip to New York. Was it from Alonzo, a person who came expecting the worst but received so much so that he told the news about it. From Shane Torres, a Swedish death metal band found itself at the Javits center, an enormous place filled with Dennis but was a hit anyway. Or from Paula, a German tourist who came to New York City and Secaucus, New Jersey, for the sights at such a terrible time, he sued everybody for $20 million. Which of these was the real story we found in the news about a trip to New York City?

[Caller Dimitri]

I'm not saying this is the real one, but Paula's story sounded like a tort hypothetical that I know a lot of the one l went through a couple months ago, but I think Alonzo's story is the true one.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, well, to bring you the correct answer, we talked to someone who reported on it. The green salsa at Los Tacos.

[Bill Curtis]

No one is not out of this

[Peter Sagal]

world spicy, but it did cause this German tourist intestinal distress. That was Christopher Maag, a journalist on the Metro desk at the New York Times, talking about that German tourist's tour of the American legal system. So what I have to tell you, sir, is that Paula's story was not a hypothetical. So you didn't win, but you earned a point for Alonzo for telling a charming story.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

About his own native city. Thank you so much for playing, and good luck as you navigate the even weirder things that happen in real life.

[Bill Curtis]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Take care. Bye bye.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Bye bye.

[Bill Curtis]

This town is champagne so shake the

[Peter Sagal]

bottle, pop that cork all the deadliest

[Bill Curtis]

sins are like One night in New

[Alonzo Bowden]

York

[Peter Sagal]

and now the game where we ask people who've done a lot to do something else. We call it Not My Job. Now, if you're like me, you first became a fan of Asif Mavi during his long run as a correspondent with the Daily show with Jon Stewart. But again, if you're like me, you may not have known that he's also a longtime working actor with roles in tv, film, and theater. Right now he is starring in a new comedy on Peacock called the Miniature Wife, and he's rehearsing for a revival of Noel Coward's Fallen Angels on Broadway. Asif Manvi, welcome to Wait Wait, Don't Tell me.

[Asif Manvi]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

It's great to finally talk to you after watching you for so many years. Like I said, I always love hearing stories about, like, actors who were at it for a while and paid their dues. I heard this remarkable story after starting at a Disney theme park, which I Love. You ended up in New York and you did a whole bunch of jobs. And I love this. Including. You worked for a company that put on, like, murder mystery parties.

[Asif Manvi]

Yeah, yeah. I used to perform in murder mysteries where we would go undercut, like, sort of incognito into these parties and. And then someone would get killed. And one of the most infamous ones that I ever did was at an Orthodox Jewish

[Caller Grace]

meet.

[Asif Manvi]

They were trying to meet people to

[Peter Sagal]

get married to, like a singles meetup.

[Asif Manvi]

Singles meetup thing. Right. And we go in there and I

[Peter Sagal]

just want to pause and say, somebody organized a singles meetup for Orthodox Jews and said to themselves, you know what would make this a really great evening?

[Asif Manvi]

Yeah, exactly.

[Peter Sagal]

If somebody were murdered.

[Bill Curtis]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, you go in there.

[Asif Manvi]

And so I just remember that I was. One of the other actors who I used to work with at the time was Connie Britton, and she was sort of chatting up this guy who I just remember was wearing a yellow suit. So that'll tell you everything about him. Yeah. And was. Dick Tracy thought he had. And she was really chatting him up and. And he thought he had hit the jackpot.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Asif Manvi]

He was like, this is, like this beautiful woman is talking to me. And then about 20 minutes into it, he. She was killed by.

[Peter Sagal]

I. I've had dates like that. I'm just kind of sympathetic. You are. You are going on Broadway in this revival of the. The Noel Coward play with the great Rose Byrne, among many others. The other thing you have coming out is a TV show on Peacock, a comedy called the Miniature Wife. And I have to say, I heard the title, and I said to myself, oh, that must be like a metaphor. It's about a wife. She's maybe in the shadow of her husband. She feels small. That's not what it's about, is it?

[Asif Manvi]

No, no. It's about a man who has a scientist who has designed a sort of serum that can miniaturize crops to combat climate change. So, you know Matthew McFadden, who I love from succession, and Elizabeth Banks, who I worked with many years ago in Williamstown, is literally six inches tall. Yes. And lives in the dollhouse. But they hate each other and they're constantly trying to kill each other. So it's Honey I Shrunk the Kids meets Tom and Jerry.

[Peter Sagal]

Did you have to spend any time on set, like crouching down and pretending you're talking to a six inch high? Elizabeth?

[Asif Manvi]

Yes, later in the season, I do. Matthew hides the whole storyline of his wife from me for a long time until he finally can't and then there is a moment where he and I are both on the floor talking to a small cardboard cutout of Elizabeth Banks.

[Peter Sagal]

Right?

[Asif Manvi]

And they would sort of move her around and then she would run, sort of pretend like she was walking.

[Peter Sagal]

I have one more question for you. Like I said at the beginning, I first knew you and became a big fan when you were on the Daily Show. But I heard a story. I don't know. I don't know how this could be true, that you ended up appearing on the Daily show the same day you auditioned for it.

[Asif Manvi]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

How is that even possible?

[Asif Manvi]

That is true. A couple of days earlier, I had found out that my ex girlfriend had gotten engaged. And so I was very upset, and I was writing one of those letters.

[Alonzo Bowden]

No.

[Asif Manvi]

You know, that you write to your ex girlfriend saying, how you up? You know, you. And. And I can't say that. Can I say that?

[Peter Sagal]

You just did. It's all right.

[Asif Manvi]

You'll figure it out. Anyway, so I'm writing this, and I get this call to come and audition for the Daily show, and I. And I. I was in such a bad place that I said, I can't come in today. I don't feel that. Can I come in tomorrow? And they said, no, if you don't come in today, then it's done. So I literally just, like, put on a suit and I went in and I honestly just had this, like, attitude of like, I'm never going to get this. This is ridiculous. Like, I'm in the wrong frame of mind. And John met me and he said. And I was a little bit surly. And I said. Because he said to me, he said, have you, you know, have you ever performed in front of a live audience? And I look at him and just being like, dude, I've been on Broadway. And I had such. But I just did my best Stephen Colbert impression because that's all I needed to do. And I was a fan of the show, and he hired me right there on the spot, and I was on the show that night, and I didn't even get a chance to tell anybody. And suddenly it was just. I was on the show and people were calling me like, there's a guy who looks a lot like you. He's on the Daily show tonight. So I didn't even get to tell my family until after it was on.

[Peter Sagal]

Did it comfort you, maybe, given the circumstances of the day, to know that maybe your ex girlfriend would see you on this hit, incredibly, culturally significant TV show and think to herself, my God, what have I done.

[Asif Manvi]

You know, it's so funny. Like, the minute I got the Daily Show, I didn't really care about my ex girlfriend that much.

[Peter Sagal]

There you go. Lesson for you all. Ladies and gentlemen, Asif Madvi. It's a pleasure to talk to you. We have asked you here today to

[Bill Curtis]

play a game we're calling Miniature Wife, meet Miniature Groom.

[Peter Sagal]

So your new series is the Miniature Wife, and we're going to ask you about it place you usually find miniature brides and grooms on top of wedding cakes. Answer two out of three questions correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice in their voicemail. Bill, who is Asif Manvi playing for?

[Bill Curtis]

Linda Evers of Collinsville, Illinois.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, ready to play? Sure. Here's your first question. Wedding cakes have been around since at least ancient Roman times, but the tradition back then was a little bit different. Instead of the bride and groom cutting the cake together, what would happen? A, the bride would throw the cake as far as she could and the groom would go find it and bring it back. B, they would break the cake over the bride's head. Or C, they would put a live squirrel inside it and wait for it to eat its way out, thus cutting the cake.

[Asif Manvi]

I'm going to go with B.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, you're right. They would break the cake over the bride's head. Oh, they lost a lot of good brides back then. All right, here's your next question. Wedding cakes, of course, are a tradition now, but if you were getting married in 17th century Europe, you and your guests would most likely be cutting into what at the wedding celebration. Would it be a, what was known as the bride's pie, a savory pie filled with oysters, lamb testicles, and occasionally live snakes. B, potatoes, basically just dozens and dozens of potatoes. Or C, just the air. Or as wedding planners of the time called it, a cake of the mind.

[Asif Manvi]

I'm gonna say that they would just cut into potatoes.

[Peter Sagal]

Potatoes. They had a lot of potatoes at the time. No, it was actually a, the bride's pie, according to Wikipedia. And it, in addition to the other tasty things, they would occasionally put a live snake there to, quote, help guests to pass the time in a wedding. I guess they did that because at the time they needed entertainment and they had no DJs.

[Asif Manvi]

Right, that's true. That is true. DJs didn't come around until about the 1800s.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly true. Yeah. You have one more chance. If you get this right, you win the one tradition today that every wedding expert tells you just skip it. Don't do it is when the groom smashes the cake into the bride's face.

[Asif Manvi]

Right.

[Peter Sagal]

Or the bride does it to the groom. One couple went so hard in the cake smashing bit that after they cleaned up, this just happened in January. They did what? A, they did it again, smashing each other in the faces with the entree from dinner and then all the side dishes. B, they handed out cupcakes for their guests to smash on each other to join the fun. Or C, they got divorced.

[Asif Manvi]

I'm gonna go with the cupcakes.

[Peter Sagal]

You're gonna go with the cupcakes? The audience. You think they got divorced? Is that what the audience. The audience thinks they got divorced.

[Asif Manvi]

All right, I'll go with the audience.

[Peter Sagal]

And they're right. You have to listen to the audience. They're right. Bill, how did Asif man be doing our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Asif got two right and that's that makes him a winner.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations.

[Asif Manvi]

With a little help.

[Peter Sagal]

With a little help. Little help. We're all here to help each other. It's a community. Asif Manvi is an actor that soon you can see on Broadway in Noel Coward's Fallen Angels, starring April 19. And also if you don't want to go out on Peacock's the Miniature Wife, which starts streaming April 9th. Asif Manvi, what a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us. Take care. Break legs on Broadway.

[Asif Manvi]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Take care. Bye Bye. In just a minute, Bill heads to space with his tonic and lime in our listener Limerick challenge. Call 1-8 8- wait- wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait, don't tell me

[Commercial Announcer]

from npr, support for this podcast and the following message come from sponsor Mint Mobile. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] wait upfront payment of $45 for 3 months of 5gb plan required. New customer offer for first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com support for this podcast and

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[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Shane Torres and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill gets all hopped up on limericks. It's our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-89-24. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Shane appropriately for St Patrick's Day, etiquette experts said this week that doing what at a party is actually fine?

[Shane Torres]

Pinching people?

[Peter Sagal]

No, an all. What would what would what would pinching have to do with St. Patrick's Day?

[Shane Torres]

If you don't wear green, you get pinched.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Ah, I see.

[Shane Torres]

That's not a thing that just happened at my house.

[Peter Sagal]

Right? No, that would be awful if that was like I was very panicked for that was a terrible prank pulled on you by a mean older brother. Oh, yeah, I gotta pinch it.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

No, no, this is there's an.

[Shane Torres]

What else could be done at a party?

[Peter Sagal]

No. Something related to the Irish.

[Bill Curtis]

Oh, Irish goodbyes.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Irish goodbyes, it turns out, are fine. For those who don't know, an Irish goodbye is when you quietly leave a party without telling anyone.

[Commercial Announcer]

You just disappear.

[Peter Sagal]

Some say that's bad manners, but some say it's good. But everybody can agree that the Irish goodbye is better than the nowhere else to go, last one to leave. So people have said, well, the Irish goodbye is very poor. Poor manners. You should say goodbye to your hosts. But now group of etiquette experts have agreed that in the right circumstances, it's actually the correct thing to do.

[Alonzo Bowden]

I would think if you had a bunch of etiquette experts at your party?

[Shane Torres]

Yes.

[Alonzo Bowden]

As long as they left, you wouldn't care how they did it.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true. Do you guys do the Irish goodbye at a party? Do you guys, like, seek out the host or do you like. Eh, I don't know. I'm out.

[Paula Poundstone]

I've gone both ways. But as a host.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

I prefer people say goodbye.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, Laird's on the record. Now, if you're going to a party at Paula's house, let her know you're leaving.

[Caller Grace]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

Otherwise you just turn around, people are gone. It's a little creepy.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

But on the other hand, I have slipped out of other parties before because

[Peter Sagal]

we've all done it.

[Alonzo Bowden]

I mean, I think it depends on the size of the party.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Right. If it's a big party, why bother trying to find the person? It's okay. You can write them later. But if it's too small, you can't go. So, like, holiday party, somebody's house. Totally fine. Anniversary dinner with your wife. She'll notice.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, while you write the letter.

[Alonzo Bowden]

But she might be glad you left.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true. Depending how the dinner's going.

[Bill Curtis]

Shane.

[Peter Sagal]

A new study has found that birds around the world are picking up a fun new habit. Birds, it turns out, really? Like what I need.

[Bill Curtis]

Yodeling.

[Peter Sagal]

Yodeling. I'm thinking, don't birds already yodel?

[Shane Torres]

They sing.

[Bill Curtis]

Yeah, they don't yodel.

[Peter Sagal]

They don't yodel it. Do it, Jane. Yodel. I'll give you a hint. Turns out it's not a coincidence that bird nests are shaped like ashtrays.

[Bill Curtis]

They love smoking.

[Peter Sagal]

They love cigarettes. Yeah. Have you ever seen a bird with a cigarette in its mouth and thought, where am I? Paris. Researchers in Poland have studied songbirds, and they found that some have intentionally started building cigarette butts into their nests because the chemicals in tobacco repel parasites. The birds have figured that out. It works. It's a property.

[Paula Poundstone]

You mean the birds have figured that out?

[Peter Sagal]

I mean, this has always been true. It's why my great uncle never had to deal with head lice until the day he died of emphysema. So this is like a.

[Shane Torres]

Like an avian asbestos situation. It's like keeping things warm. The insulation from the cigarette butts will make their nets.

[Peter Sagal]

No, no, no. They've actually. It turns out that they have figured out.

[Paula Poundstone]

They haven't figured out they're doing it.

[Peter Sagal]

They're all doing it.

[Paula Poundstone]

Because they're doing it doesn't mean they figured it out.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

Birds are succumbing to peer pressure. That's what's happening.

[Peter Sagal]

The birds are like, other birds are smoking and like the crows are smoking and the finches are like, well, I want to look cool too. Yeah, yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

No, it's Keeping up with the Red Winged Joneses.

[Bill Curtis]

Yes.

[Alonzo Bowden]

I actually go with you on this one, Peter. I think the birds have figured it out. I'm sorry.

[Paula Poundstone]

Figured it out?

[Alonzo Bowden]

I think the birds figured. They said, you know what, fly into windows. The birds. They saw the birds with the cigarette butts. They were like, those are some prettier birds than us.

[Peter Sagal]

Right?

[Alonzo Bowden]

They talk to each other. They say, you having a problem with parasites? Try, you know.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Marlboro.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah. Nine out of nine out of ten exterminators recommend Marlborough.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly.

[Paula Poundstone]

It's just a stupid story.

[Peter Sagal]

This is. This has actually been going on for years. I remember. I'm old enough to remember when birds actually had cigarettes inside restaurants. Coming up, it's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago. And you can come see us on the road. For example, we will be in Savannah, Georgia on March 26th. That's next week. Come out and see us, Savannah. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org hi, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Sarah from Percoese, Pennsylvania. Percocee, Pennsylvania. Is that where the phrase perky came from? Because you sound excited. No, I think it's supposed to mean

[Paula Poundstone]

like the one who cracks hickory nuts or something.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah, sure. Perkasie. Yeah, everybody knows that. Sarah, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three news related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to play?

[Shane Torres]

Yep.

[Peter Sagal]

Let's do it. Here is your first limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

There's a comet in outer space. Ooze. That's a bit of a party boat cruise. You better not snitch that it's alcohol.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Rich.

[Bill Curtis]

The comet is filled up with booze.

[Peter Sagal]

Boos. Yes. Scientists who are studying the interstellar comet 3I Atlas, which is currently zooming through our solar system, have discovered that it is full of alcohol. Finally, a comet that has the sense to bring a Bottle of wine when it pops by. Astronomers knew something was up when they saw it weaving all over the place on its way toward the sun. But for a comet like this to really work, it has to be followed by another comet made up entirely of mixed nuts.

[Alonzo Bowden]

How do they know that the comet's filled with alcohol?

[Peter Sagal]

They went and had a sip. No, they do.

[Paula Poundstone]

You find that it's the. As the show gets towards the end, the facts become a little iffy.

[Peter Sagal]

No, it's like, I think it's just easy. The birds are smoking, the comet is drinking. Everybody's stressed. Here is your next limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

In the evenings, my mind starts to scurry and my focus on calm thoughts gets blurry. But I heed sage advice and put bad thoughts on ice until morning. I postpone my worry.

[Peter Sagal]

Worry? Yes. According to a writer in the Guardian, to combat anxiety and stress, all we need to do is stop worrying at exactly 6 and don't start worrying till the next morning. Yeah, it's easy because when 6:30 comes around, you just stop worrying a thing you do willingly and have total control over. Now, this advice came from a therapist who said he needed to have no worry. Time to give his brain a rest. He admits it's not easy and it takes practice and you have to go gradually. Right. But after a couple of months of concentration and focus, he was able to get all the way to 6:45 without starting to whimper.

[Paula Poundstone]

I think that's logical. I understand that it's easier said than done, but it does sound logical to me. There are times even, you know, if you're worrying a lot, drink some water. You'd be amazed how hydration changes your brain.

[Shane Torres]

This is like when I broke my ankle playing football and I was told to walk it off.

[Peter Sagal]

This is not. Here is your last limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

On the surface, we bull sharks pretend that we're tough and alone till the end. But I hang with shark Bros. Where the seawater flows. I get quality time with a friend.

[Peter Sagal]

Friend, yes. Researchers were stunned when they discovered that bull sharks have rich social lives and make friends. They made this discovery after observing a shark take another shark to the airport. Scientists had thought that sharks lived mostly in isolation, except when feeding on prey. They observed sharks engaged in social interactions with each other, like parallel swimming or lead follow behavior. That's what it's called. And these bonds between the sharks remain strong, unless, of course, they start a band together.

[Alonzo Bowden]

I think that these researchers were watching one shark and they thought he was by himself and that shark's buddy swam up behind him and shared the researcher.

[Peter Sagal]

Really? And the researcher's last thought was, I'm glad they're friends. Bill how did Sarah do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Sarah will sleep well tonight. She got all three right.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations, Sarah.

[Caller Dimitri]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Well done. Thank you. Take care.

[Commercial Announcer]

Support for this podcast and the following message come from sponsor Mint Mobile. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] wait upfront payment of $45 for 3 months of 5gb plan required. New customer offer for first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com support for this podcast and

the following message come from SimpliSafe Are you desensitized to the dozens of notifications on your phone each day? But if that latest ping is from your security camera, ignoring it could spell disaster. Traditional security systems only act after someone

[Peter Sagal]

has already broken in.

[Commercial Announcer]

With 20 years of experience in home security, SimpliSafe's Active Guard Outdoor Protection can help prevent break ins before they happen. Right now, get 50% off their new SimpliSafe [e-mail] wait. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.

This message comes from Carvana who makes car selling easy. Enter your license plate or vin, get a real offer in minutes and have your picked up from your door. Sell your car the easy way with Carvana. Pickup fee may apply. This message comes from Bayer. Science is a rigorous process that requires questions, testing, transparency and results that can be proven. This approach is integral to every breakthrough Bayer brings forward innovations that save lives and feed the world. Science delivers.com now on to our final game.

[Peter Sagal]

Lightning. Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

[Bill Curtis]

Paula has two. Shane and Alonzo each had three.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh my goodness. Paula, you're in third place.

[Bill Curtis]

You're up first.

[Peter Sagal]

The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the UK Said they were ready to join efforts to ensure safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz. Right? Hormuz on Monday. Hormuz. Yeah, Hormuz. A federal Judge temporarily blocked RFK Jr. S changes to US blank policy.

[Paula Poundstone]

Vaccine Right.

[Peter Sagal]

This week, the confirmation hearings for DHX Secretary Blank began.

[Paula Poundstone]

Mark Wayne Mullen.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. For the ninth year in a row, Finland was named the world's Blankest country Happiest, Right? Good news for people who love the worst part of a pizza. Pizza Hut is hiring their first ever blank expert crust. Right. On Thursday, NASA said they were hoping to launch the Artemis 2 mission to the blank on April 1st. The moon. Right. On Wednesday, Jesse Holmes and his pack of dogs won their second blank race in Alaska.

[Paula Poundstone]

I did arrive right.

[Peter Sagal]

This week, pedestrians in Japan were shocked when they spotted blank at a construction site.

[Paula Poundstone]

They spotted a plank at a smoking. Birds?

[Peter Sagal]

No, a mysterious. It's fine. The birds were on break. It was okay.

[Shane Torres]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

They sought a mysterious 30 foot steel cylinder rising from the ground.

[Paula Poundstone]

Oh, yes.

[Peter Sagal]

How residents of Osaka, Japan were baffled when in the middle of a busy road, a 30 foot metal cylinder suddenly rose from the ground, halting traffic and prompting a city wide investigation. Since then, crews have managed to get most of the cylinder back underground. Which means when it comes back up, it's going to be even angrier. Bill, I think Paula did rather well.

[Bill Curtis]

Unbelievable. Can hardly get it out. 7. Right. 14 more points. Total of 16 puts Paula in the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

There you are.

[Paula Poundstone]

Because the others haven't gone yet.

[Peter Sagal]

Shane and Alonzo retired. I'll pick Alonzo to go next. Here we go. On Wednesday, the Federal Reserve said they would keep blank rates unchanged.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Interest.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Monday, President Trump suggested that Gavin Newsom couldn't be president because he is blank.

[Alonzo Bowden]

What did he say? He's dyslexic.

[Peter Sagal]

That's right. This week, Americans were concerned when the federal government registered the new domain name blank.gov TRUMP. No aliens.gov. according to a new study, a diet low in blank can slow cognitive decline.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Well, obviously I haven't been eating.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Peter, I don't know if you're aware that the NCAA tournament started this. This week.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Well, you've been. You've been busy.

[Alonzo Bowden]

You bugging me with all these questions?

[Peter Sagal]

Sorry. It was a diet low in salt can slow cognitive decline. On Tuesday, Venezuela beat the U.S. to win their first world blank title.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Ah, World baseball.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, World Baseball Classic. This week, a large bear walking into her shot interrupted an LA TV reporter story about blank bears. Yes, bear attacks in the neighborhood. KTLA's Aaron Myers was reporting live from Monrovia, California in a series of bear attacks, when suddenly a bear wandered right into frame behind her as if to say, oh, my God, are you guys talking about me? Not only did Myers keep her cool, she also told viewers, quote, this is the second time a bear has shown up on live TV with me. Which is probably a sign she should stop filling her pockets with Salmon Bill. How did Alonzo do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Four. Right. Eight more points. Total of 11. And he trails Paula with six. Sixteen.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, so how many then does Shane need to win on his debut appearance on our show?

[Bill Curtis]

Only seven to win.

[Peter Sagal]

Here you go, Shane. You can do this.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Oh, yeah. You got this.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Bill Curtis]

I'm sure it'll be a breeze.

[Peter Sagal]

Rookie luck. Here we go. This is for the game, Shane. On Wednesday, Israeli officials pushed back on Trump's claim that he did not know about a strike on an oil field in Blank.

[Shane Torres]

Iran.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. According to a new study, smoking blank does not ease anxiety.

[Shane Torres]

Weed.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Thursday, 12th seed High Point beat fifth seed Wisconsin in the first upset of the blank tournament.

[Shane Torres]

March Madness.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. NCAA on Monday.

[Shane Torres]

Off to go.

[Bill Curtis]

Cut down the nets.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. On Monday, thousands of workers at a meatpacking plant walked off the job as part of the industry's first blank and fortunately strike. Right. This week, Florida lawmakers voted to keep it legal in that state for Blanks to marry first cousins. Yeah. According to new guidelines, experts suggest that people as young as 30 start taking drugs to lower blank blood pressure. No cholesterol. On Sunday, sinners. And one battle after another with the big winners at the 2026 Blank Awards.

[Bill Curtis]

Oscars.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, a passenger browsing the plush kangaroos at a Tasmanian airport was surprised to find Blank

[Shane Torres]

a real kangaroo.

[Paula Poundstone]

I don't know.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, so close. A real live possum. The passenger says he was delighted when he caught the possum cuddled up among the stuffed animals at the airport and that the staff was equally excited when they caught the wild animal and got him safely out of the airport. Meanwhile, the possum was like, damn, I'm never gonna make my flight now. Bill Shane did well. Did he do well enough to win?

[Bill Curtis]

Well, he got six. Right. Twelve more points. And his 15 comes one short of Paula. Great showing.

[Peter Sagal]

There you are, Paula.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Good job.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, our panelists predict now that his identity has been revealed, what will the artist Banksy do next? But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. He's a product of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent overlord Philip Ga writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Ledemann composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Durmboss and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson and Monica Hickey. If you say Peter Gwynn's name, three times he will appear. Peter Gwynn, Peter Gwynn, Peter Gwynn. Our Vibe curator, Emma Choi. Technical directions from Lorna White. Her CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer, Wait, wait, don't tell me. Is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will Banksy do next?

[Alonzo Bowden]

Alonzo Bowden, start a podcast.

[Shane Torres]

Why not Shane Torres, he'll be the next Bachelorette.

[Peter Sagal]

And Paula Poundstone, he's going to offer

[Paula Poundstone]

his services to elementary school children for their visual aides in their reports.

[Bill Curtis]

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you so much, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Paul Lafasa and Alonzo Bowden. A big thanks for Shane Torres for making a great debut on our show. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater. Thanks to all of you out there wherever you might be listening. We're grateful for you. I'm Peter Saga. We'll see you next week in Savannah, Georgia. This is NPR support for this podcast

[Commercial Announcer]

and the following message come from Alexa. Say hello to the all new Alexa. Need last minute concert tickets? Craving your favorite restaurant? Just sit back, relax and talk. Naturally, Alexa's on it.

[Peter Sagal]

Alexa remembers what you love, anticipates what

[Commercial Announcer]

you need and makes it all happen. Alexa brings thousands of possibilities to life, ready whenever inspiration strikes. And now Alexa is free with prime on your Amazon devices like echo and Fire TV. Amazon.com Alexa.