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Alzo Slade
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Alzo Slade, the guy they bring in when Bill Curtis is stuck in the TSA line back home. And here's your host at the Johnny Mercer Theater in Savannah, Georgia, Peter Sagal.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Thank you, Alzo.
Peter Sagal
Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Savannah. Oh, man, it is great. It is great to be back. It is great to be back in beautiful Savannah, a place we love. And I'm happy to say we have been welcomed as locals, which is gratifying. We've only been here two days and all of us are absolutely covered in Spanish moss. Later on, we're going to be talking to actor DW Moffat, a veteran actor most recently seen in one battle after another. And more importantly, the head of the film and TV department at the Savannah College of Art and Design. But first, it's your turn to audition. The number to call in and play our games is 1-88-wait, wait. That's 1-888-924-892-4. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Hi, Peter.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
This is Claudia calling from temperamental Chicago, Illinois.
Peter Sagal
Oh, yeah. Okay. What do you do there in our home city? Well, I'm so glad you asked.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
I have a very sexy job working in administration and compliance operations at a healthcare focused nonprofit.
Peter Sagal
Whoa. Yeah, It's a little bit of weight waiting after dark there. Hang on a second. I need to catch my breath. Welcome to the show, Claudia. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a writer for Clean Slate on Prime, it's Shantira Jackson.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Hi, Claudia.
Peter Sagal
Hi, Shantira. Next, it's a comedian you can see at the Laughing Tap In Milwaukee on April 10th and the 11th, it's Adam Burke. Hi, Claudia. Hey, Adam. And you can hear her album yell Joy on Blonde Medicine. And her special love Joy is on Peacock. It's Joyell Nicole Johnson.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Hey, Claudia, I like your voice, girl.
Peter Sagal
Oh, my goshell. Thank you so much. Claudia, you're gonna play who's Alzo this time? Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis is gonna read you three quotations in this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them. You'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you may choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. All right, let's do it. Your first quote is first lady Melania Trump welcoming a guest at an event on Wednesday.
Alzo Slade
You are my first American made humanoid guest in the White House.
Peter Sagal
The first lady was speaking to something that she wants to take over educating our children someday. What is is a robot. It is a robot. Yes. You better applaud louder. They will be in charge soon. Speaking at the White House on Wednesday while standing beside a robot, Melania Trump described a future where robots teach our children. She has found her cause. Nancy Reagan said, say no to drugs. Michelle Obama said, eat healthy food. Melania Trump says, death to the human teachers. The scene, by the way, if you haven't seen, amazing. It's perfectly staged. They're all sitting there in the audience and the doors open and Melania and the robot together walk in, making this big entrance. And the technology is genuinely impressive. Both of them looked so lifelike.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Problem is, if we pay the robots the way we pay teachers, they will revolt.
Peter Sagal
That's true.
Adam Burke
This robot is amaz. I don't know if you saw this robot. It's amazing. They can program it to do just about anything except watch the Melania documentary.
Peter Sagal
That's the one that rebels.
Adam Burke
It draws the line.
Peter Sagal
It's like one of those Star Treks on, like, it's like one of those robots in the old Star Trek where they ask it to define love. It just shorts out.
Adam Burke
If there's going to be robot teachers, that implies there's going to be robot substitute teachers. Like, instead of your regular, like, cool robot, one of those little delivery ones comes in and just starts bumping against all the walls while you screw off.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
And what happen to those delivery robots in New York was that all the kids beat those robots up.
Peter Sagal
Actually, there is, believe it or not, actual data showing that young children sometimes feel more comfortable being read to or reading to a robot than a human being. It's less stressful for them. So it'll be actually really kind of cute, you know, a robot teacher sitting there with preschoolers. Okay, kids, now we're going to read Power down Moon. All right, very good. Here is your next quote.
Alzo Slade
What are they going to broadcast Sunday at 8 instead?
Peter Sagal
That was a fan on Reddit responding with some panic to news that the entire season of what hit ABC reality dating show was cancelled just this week. The Bachelorette. The Bachelorette. This is Amazing. After they take an entire season of the show from the bachelorette, meeting all 22 bachelors in episode one through her, picking the eventual winner after they did all that video surfaced of this new Bachelorette throwing chairs at her boyfriend during a fight. So ABC just canceled the whole season. It'll never see the light of day. ABC will lose $80 million and middle aged women lost their best excuse to drink wine on Sunday nights.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Well, as a middle aged woman, I would like to say to you all that I made it to the age of 44 and I have never seen an episode of the Bachelor or the Bachelorette who. So I feel triumphant.
Adam Burke
I feel there should be a reality show about that.
Peter Sagal
Yes, The Last Survivor, the now canceled Bachelorette. Her name is Taylor Frankie Paul and she is a star on another reality show, the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. And her behavior was totally shocking to the Bachelorette producers who I guess didn't watch the very first episode of the Mormon Wives show where this is true. She was arrested.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Taylor Frankie Paul. Sounds like she put her name in a reality TV show. Name generator. That's somebody's real name.
Adam Burke
Were they tipped off when she handed out the roses? She kept them in the vase and then just broke them over people's heads.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Exactly.
Peter Sagal
Why did they have to cancel the whole show if she was the problem? Just do it without her. See what happens when 30 identical men all live together with nothing much to do and somehow four of them are named Brad.
Adam Burke
Wait, I think that show exists. It's called the Senate.
Peter Sagal
Some of that this is true. Some of the bachelors from the show very upset that their big break into reality TV has now been canceled. It'll be erased, Never seen. They're considering a lawsuit against abc. What are they suing for? Well, they want a single kiss from their true love.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Oh, I feel bad. They won't be able to open their gym now.
Adam Burke
Is that what they always want to do?
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
They always are like gym influencers. They're always like, I didn't find love, but I did find abs.
Peter Sagal
Well, now I feel like I've seen the season. Thank you.
Adam Burke
You know, it helps you build abs. Ducking chairs.
Peter Sagal
All right, here is your last quote.
Alzo Slade
It's so muddy and disappointing compared to autumn.
Peter Sagal
That was the New York Times reporting that what season long considered the worst, believe it or not, is now getting a rebrand. So what season does it turn out people like the least? And you only have four guesses.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
I would think it's spring.
Peter Sagal
It is spring. It was surprising to me. Yes, spring you got it right. But according to the New York Times, Americans just don't like spring. Well, if you think about it, it makes sense. There's wildly fluctuating weather, there's mud, there's allergies, and spring's only big holiday is the one where you can't have candy if you don't believe in Jesus. Now, several influencers, of course influencers, are doing this. They're trying to change our minds about SP with the same kind of branding that other seasons get. For example, autumn has its own flavor. Pumpkin spice. Right. So spring needs one, too. Oh, I'm heading down to Starbucks to get my pollen and sneeze latte.
Adam Burke
It seems that you're suggesting that some marketing company whose client is spring.
Peter Sagal
Yes. Well, this is what's funny. The Times went to a marketing consultant and they said, let's say your client was spring. What would you do? How would you market it? And he said, well, he would, quote, spin spring's brevity into a positive. So that's the new slogan. Spring. It's over soon.
Adam Burke
Yeah, but if spring is your client, what do those boardroom meetings look like? Just like an Alec Baldwin bunny rabbit yelling at you because the numbers are down.
Peter Sagal
Pretty much.
Alzo Slade
You know what I think it is? I think the Easter bunny has had beef with Santa Claus for quite some time. The Easter bun. Like, we got to do something about
Peter Sagal
Alza. How did Claudia do on our quiz?
Alzo Slade
Perfectly. Three out of three. She is a champion.
Peter Sagal
Congratulations, Claudia. Thank you. Thank you for calling. Right now, panel, that it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyel, United Airlines. They say they're going to revolutionize air travel with a new offering for their customers in economy. Starting next year. Instead of separate seats, you and your traveling companions will be able to reserve your own. What?
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Suite?
Peter Sagal
No, not quite. That's for the people up in the first floor.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Okay, listen to me. Okay.
Peter Sagal
Bathroom. No. Although that would be nice.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Peter, I fly first class. I don't know what's going on in the back of the airplane. Reserve your own water bottles. Do they give y' all that back there?
Peter Sagal
No, no, no.
Alzo Slade
Wait, why did he tell.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
It's. It's.
Peter Sagal
You wouldn't like it. They just spray us with a hose.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
I've heard about it.
Alzo Slade
Yeah, I know.
Peter Sagal
Wait.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Oh, seat belts.
Peter Sagal
No, they do. They do give us seat belts.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They give y' all seat belts.
Peter Sagal
No, they do provide the fitted sheets. That's true. It's a bed. Yes, they're going to let people reserve beds. This new offering is called a relax row. And the idea is you take your three seats, which you're used to, and that will convert into a small cot of the same size. You then get a specially fitted mattress and blankets to create a comfortable bed to lie down on, specially padded with the hair of every other passenger there.
Adam Burke
Whenever I've seen a kid misbehaving on a plane, I thought, you know what that kid needs is a bed to jump on. Yeah.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
I want to know if somebody's going to have their toes out. You can tell by the face.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
People bring their toes out on airplanes.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Yes. In the back where we are. They're doing that.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
They've done it in first class before. I had say something.
Peter Sagal
Did you really?
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Yes, I did.
Adam Burke
But is, is, is it better class of toe up there?
Joelle Nicole Johnson
No, no. Toes are better toes.
Peter Sagal
Did you, did you say, excuse me, this is first class?
Joelle Nicole Johnson
I did.
Peter Sagal
That's not how we do things here.
Alzo Slade
Just imagine what broke toes look like in the back.
Peter Sagal
Coming up, you're going to want a second helping of our bluff, the listener game called 1-888-Wait-Wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, wait, don't tell me from npr.
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Alzo Slade
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't TELL ME the NPR News quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Joel Nicole Johnson, Shantira Jackson and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Johnny Mercer Theater in Savannah, Georgia, Peter Sagal.
Peter Sagal
Thank you. Thank you, Alzo. Thanks, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, don't tell me you've left the listener game. Call 1-88-WA wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, wait, don't tell me.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Hey, I'm Owen from Ames, Iowa.
Peter Sagal
Hey, Owen, from Ames, Iowa, home of Iowa State. What do you do there?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Well, I actually go to Iowa State. I'm doing engineering.
Peter Sagal
Well, that's great. That's cool. What kind of engineering are you going to do?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I'm doing mechanical right now.
Peter Sagal
Okay. So are you by any chance going to be building robots?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
That's certainly the plan if I don't keep walking out of my classes.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. Just remember, make sure when you're building the robots that they be best.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I'll make sure that.
Peter Sagal
Well, welcome to the show. It's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game which you have to tell truth from fiction. Also, what is Owen's topic?
Alzo Slade
Amuse my boosh.
Peter Sagal
Everybody loves the can you say that? Apparently you can on the radio.
Adam Burke
I haven't even met your bouche.
Peter Sagal
Fine dining, of course, is the wonderful culture where you go to restaurants and secretly look up words from the menu on your phone so the waiter doesn't think you're an idiot. Our panelists are going to tell you about a hot new dining destination that foodies are flocking to. Pick the one who's telling you the truth. You'll win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Oh, yeah.
Peter Sagal
All right. First, let's hear from Joyell Nicole Johnson.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Necessity is the mother of invention, said Katie Dickinson, the mother of the new viral eatery in Lake Odessa, Michigan. Katie, the mom of triplets, was at her wit's end feeding them when they came of age to masticate. Shocker. They only eat nuggets. But while chicken nuggets are delicious, they are nutritious. Then the idea popped in her head like the light bulb in her childhood Easy Bake Oven. She started making everything in the shape of nuggets. Turns out her kids will eat anything if it's mashed up, breaded, fried and in the shape of a dinosaur. After successfully catering her kids 8th birthday party with a plethora of pocket sized bites, the food Truck Nothing But Nuggets was born and the restaurant is a huge success with kids adults alike. Yes, chicken dippers abound, but the menu also boasts favorites like Return of the Mac and Cheese and for the adults, the lobster bisque nuggets are called bisky business. I've always said if there's a restaurant that made food my kids wanted to eat, I would smash through the walls to get there, said a patron waiting patiently in line with his offspring.
Peter Sagal
Nothing but nuggets. Where all the food comes in the shape of nuggets. Your next food fable comes from Adam
Adam Burke
Burke when fancy eatery Le Maison d' Tre opened up in San Francisco's Embarcadero district last year, it was an instant hit with local tech pros and crypto bros. Wealthy clientele flocked to eat pricey dishes such as Brainstorm Stew and Startup Sliders, which boasted exotic ingredients that promised to boost both the intellectual and athletic prowess of the area's most voracious executives. But this week, Maison's proprietor and head chef Delaney Robarth revealed that what her clientele were eating were just sloppy Joes and pureed lunchables. It was all an elaborate project to prove that rich people will pay for anything as long as it's expensive. While she thought her big reveal would end the restaurant's popularity, it backfired. Her most faithful customers refused to believe it. I think I know grass fed Argentinian veal when I taste it, says Maison regular and venture capitalist Vance Headley. In fact, the more Robars persists with the idea, the more popular her establishment seems to be. People are nuts for our expensive seafood dish abalone mousse, she says. Even when I tell them it's actually just a bologna sandwich mashed up with some cat food. Just goes to show, these crypto dudes will swallow anything.
Peter Sagal
A restaurant in San Francisco that serves fake gourmet food to the crypto Bros. Even after they are told that it's fake. Your last restaurant recap comes from Shantira Jackson.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Sophisticated diners and foodies are all heading to central Massachusetts Town Amherst for chef made cuisine that is both superb and served by ladies wearing hairnets. That's because the bistro that Michelin somehow forgot is the UMass Dining Hall. Their food is so good that people in the surrounding area have started taking their dates there. And apparently girls actually like doing that. The days of the freshman 15 are gone, and the freshman 55 is closer than ever before. The cafeteria has been blessed with food from a former chef from the Ritz Carlton and a former paratrooper. No matter who's in the kitchen, they like to go all out for these kids, especially on holidays, whether it's Diwali, the lunar New year, or the super bowl, which is, according to them, also a holiday. But the biggest celebration is on Halloween when they serve over 15,000 lobsters to sexy Frankensteins all over campus. So. So if you have a house full of picky eaters, you know where to send them for undergrad. UMass Amherst, a college that's only 90 miles away from Boston.
Peter Sagal
All right, so if you're interested in a fine dining experience, you can go to one of these three places. Was it from Joel Nicole Johnson, nothing but nuggets, a food truck, and now a restaurant that serves all kinds of food, all in the shape of dinosaur nuggies. From Adam Burke, Les Maison d', Etre, a fake gourmet high tech restaurant for high tech guys. Or from Shantira Jackson, the finest dining in all of central Massachusetts, the dining hall at UMass Amherst. Which of these is the real story of a dining destination we found in the news?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Ooh, I think I'm gonna have to
Peter Sagal
go with Adam's story. You're gonna go with Adam's story? The restaurant opened specifically for the tastes of tech bros, who turned out to be more gullible than even we thought.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
That's your thing.
Peter Sagal
An engineer would do. Yeah, yeah, Speaking as an engineer, I know you probably have an insight into that. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who actually brought this to our attention. The dining halls at UMass had chocolate
Joelle Nicole Johnson
milk from local farm based cabs.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
I even saw a hello Kitty shaped pizza.
Peter Sagal
That was the Wall Street Journal's Jasmine Lee, who reported on and of course dined at the UMass Amherst Dining hall, which hopefully will be getting its Michelin star sometime soon, I'm so sorry to say. Although I'm sure you're right about engineers, you were sadly incorrect in which was the real story. However, you earned a point for Adam.
Adam Burke
Thank you.
Peter Sagal
For a story that I think we all wish Were true. Thank you so much for playing. Take care. Bye. Bye. And now the game we call not my job. Savannah used to be known for its history and beauty and trees covered with Spanish moss. Now it is just as well known for the Savannah College of Art and Design, which, among other things, has helped make Georgia the Hollywood of the east with the Department of Film and TV there. DW Moffat, a movie and TV actor known for Friday Night Lights and more recently One Battle After Another, is the chair of that department. He joins us now. DW Moffat, welcome to. Wait, Wait, don't tell me.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Thank you so much. Great to be here. Great to be here.
Peter Sagal
So you've had a very long career
Adam Burke
and.
Peter Sagal
And.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
And a very, very long, very long career.
Peter Sagal
A long, distinguished career.
Adam Burke
I did some.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
So old and.
Peter Sagal
And I was thinking about what of your many roles people might recognize you for? I was guessing Friday Night Lights.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Friday Night Lights are the dads in the airports who stopped me.
Peter Sagal
Yeah.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Switched at Birth Are the women in their early 20s who loved switched at Birth. I have one battle after one battle, one battle after another. People.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
My favorite people.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
People run from me when they, you know.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. Well, okay. In Friday Night Lights, if I'm not mistaken, you played a dad of one of the high school football players. And I think I can say this is not a spoiler. A bad dad.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I'm the worst dad.
Peter Sagal
Worst dad ever. And you sort of the plot was that you're trying to shape your child into the perfect football playing machine and it goes awry. People take that show very seriously. Seriously. They're very passionate. Are they still mad at you for ruining that kid's prospects?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I sometimes am delighted to appear on Worst Dads in Television History list. You know, I tell you. But it's fun because. And I talk to my students about this all the time. You know, when you play a bad guy, you can't think I'm a bad guy.
Peter Sagal
Right.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Like, I was just playing a dad who was really invested in his son's future.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Yeah.
Peter Sagal
Speaking of bad dads, you also appear in the Oscar winner One Battle after another as a member of this bizarre, secretive group of racists called the Christmas Adventurers Club.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Yes, I do.
Peter Sagal
I have a number of questions about that. Let's start with this one.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Yeah.
Peter Sagal
What the hell?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I don't know.
Peter Sagal
Christmas Adventurers club.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Yeah.
Peter Sagal
When P.T. anderson calls you up and says, I've got just the role for you.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
So when you get that call.
Peter Sagal
Yeah.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
You, you go, yes, of course. I never read the script.
Peter Sagal
Not once.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Not once.
Peter Sagal
Just he's asking you to do it. So sign him up.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
There's this insanely bizarre scene with, like, Babel speak. Like, we gave him a Yankee double, double, Yankee clearance thing. They're shooting on the VistaVision camera, which is like shooting a scene next to a Jackham.
Peter Sagal
Right? Enormous thing.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Enormous thing. They never did any dialogue replacement. There was no looping. So I said to my wife, I'm not in the movie. They cut that scene. I had never read the script, so I didn't realize that scene is right in the middle of the movie.
Peter Sagal
Right.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I said, I'm not in the scene. They cut the scene. And my wife knows the post production supervisor, and she was like, oh, oh, no, he's in the movie.
Adam Burke
You know, the Christmas Adventures. That's why winter is my least favorite scene.
Peter Sagal
There you go. So you are now, of course, the chair of the Department of Film and TV here in Savannah at scad. In addition to chairing the department, do you also teach acting, film, TV production?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
So I teach. I teach two things, primarily because my faculty is so amazing. I don't want to take these classes away from them. And because I was an actor and still am an actor, I teach a class called Directing the Actor, which is teaching filmmakers how to communicate effectively with that strange animal which is the actor.
Peter Sagal
Actually, this is something that I was wondering about, which is if you had students, even though I'm sure SCAD is very selective, who just aren't very good at it. And do you ever find yourself having to tell them that?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
So here's the thing.
Alzo Slade
Like, that's a yes?
Peter Sagal
Yeah.
Adam Burke
Is that how you start the sentence?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
But like, seriously, like, their are people that I know in this business that when I was 25 and I saw them, I was like, no, no, can't be. But, like, because we teach producing, directing, editing, all these different things, you know, someone might say to me, you know, I really want to be a great cinematographer. And who knows, they might wind up being an incredible editor someday.
Peter Sagal
And you can say, well, you know, film set's very busy. They also need catering. I have to wonder, though, you've been here in Savannah for how long?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
10 years.
Peter Sagal
Okay. Was it hard for a Chicago guy like yourself to adjust? Like, how long after getting here did you figure out that you say bless your heart rather than go f yourself?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
So my mother is a hillbilly. She's from. Yeah, she's from southeastern Kentucky. There, y'.
Peter Sagal
All.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I know. And so they're. They don't say bless yourself, but they say something similar. So I Kind of had an inkling.
Peter Sagal
What do they say in eastern Kentucky?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
Rather than bless yourself, you better watch out that going key, I'm going to key you.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
They get straight to the point.
Adam Burke
That's not so much passive aggressive as good old fashioned aggressive.
Peter Sagal
You should do that when you're critiquing a student's film. Well, DW Moffat, it is a pleasure to talk to you. We've invited you here to play a game.
Alzo Slade
We're calling a bunch of battles all at once.
Peter Sagal
So you were in one battle after another, which is, when you think about it, a manageable way to handle your battles. Right. But what if everybody attacked at the same time? So we're going to ask you three questions about mass melees. Get two right, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is DW Moffat playing for?
Alzo Slade
Hannah Taylor of Savannah, Georgia.
Peter Sagal
Are you ready to do this?
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I'm ready.
Peter Sagal
Here you go. Okay, first question. At the annual Kerkpinar festival in western Turkey, fighters come from all over that country to compete in a formal of wrestling that has a particular twist. What is it? A, wrestlers arms are tied behind their back and their legs are tied together. B, not only is poking in the eye allowed, it's the only thing allowed. Or C, all the wrestlers are covered in olive oil to make them more slippery. The audience of people are shouting see olive oil. With a little too much enthusiasm.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
They like heated rivalry.
Alzo Slade
Well, that just lets us know the benefits.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
There used to be a wrestling place in Hollywood had a lot of hot oil wrestling. Anyway, just because Turkish food is so
Peter Sagal
oil redolent of oil, I'm going to go with C. You're right, it is olive oil. In fact, olive oil wrestling in Turkey goes back more than than 600 years. It's a hallowed tradition. There you are. All right, here's your next question. You did that. Well, in the village high in the mountains of Peru, the people there celebrate an event called the Tacanakuy every Christmas Day. What happens at the Tacanakuy? A, everybody tries to beat up everybody else to get them back for slights that happened during the preceding year. B, people attempt to beat a llama in a spitting fight. Or C, it's a giant Christmas themed martial arts match called Gold, Frankincense and murder.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I'm gonna go with B.
Peter Sagal
You're gonna go with B? People attempt to beat a llama? No, it was actually the first one. As the narrator of a documentary about it says, it's like Yom Kippur but with punching.
Alzo Slade
But if you offended someone at the beginning of the year, the anticipation
Adam Burke
would be worse. You've just been winding up for 364 days.
Peter Sagal
All right, this is fine. If you get this last one right, you win. In Florence, Italy, they still play this ancient ball game called calcio storico where players can do anything they like to the opposing player, resulting in all kinds of injuries. But the game was even crazier back when it began in the Middle Ages because organizers often did what in the middle of a match, A, threw a bucket of knives into the playing area, B, alerted certain players that other certain players had slept with their wives, or B, or rather C, released live bowls into the arena. Oh, he's a Calcio Storico fan here.
Adam Burke
Or. Or that's just a woman who's being attacked by a bee.
Peter Sagal
Bee, bee. I see your point.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
I'm gonna go with the Bulls.
Peter Sagal
You're right. That's what they did. They don't do that anymore, but they still have this every year. So if you ever want to go see some Italians beat the living hell out of each other.
Adam Burke
What's even crazier, those Bulls are mad about slights that happened the previous year before.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
They're mad about slights that happen in Pamplona.
Peter Sagal
I'm gonna get him for that. Also, how did DW Moffett do in our quiz?
Alzo Slade
Two out of three, he won that battle.
Peter Sagal
DW Moffat is an actor with decades long career in film, TV and theater and he is the chair of the film and television program here at the Savannah College of Art and Design. DW Moffat, thank you so much for joining us. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Give it up. You're very on DWF. In just a minute. A push for the tush in our Listener limber challenge. Call-18 8- wait- wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell ME from npr.
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Alzo Slade
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell Me the NPR News quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Shantira Jackson, Joelle Nicole Johnson and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Johnny Mercer Theater in Savannah, Georgia, Peter Sagal.
Peter Sagal
Thank you, Alzo Spain. In just a minute, it's one limerick after another in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Adam, this week the Times profiled an increasingly popular online support group for certain members of the population. Who is it
Adam Burke
Online support for certain members?
Peter Sagal
Yes.
Adam Burke
Is it people who are addicted to support groups?
Peter Sagal
Yes. No. I was trying to figure out how that would work.
Adam Burke
You know, I'm addicted to introducing myself.
Peter Sagal
I will say that I myself I'm a member of this particular group.
Adam Burke
Is it like something you don't like?
Peter Sagal
It's something for people who are struggling with something and they're encouraged just to embrace it.
Alzo Slade
Be careful. Adam.
Peter Sagal
Yeah.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Glad this one isn't mine.
Adam Burke
It's a support group for the Follicly
Peter Sagal
Challenge for the Bald. Yes. This Reddit group called R Bald, it's entirely dedicated to pushing people to just accept their baldness. The community helps people live their truth, and the truth is Is you're bald. I like that you can tell those.
Adam Burke
You can tell those are bald. Cheers.
Peter Sagal
And I say this from experience. The only thing worse than losing your hair is pretending you are not losing your hair.
Sponsor Announcer
Yes.
Peter Sagal
It's like, no, no, guys, I got hair. I wear this fedora all the time because then I'm. I'm an old timey newspaper man.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
See, do not be afraid to be bald, man. Bald is very sexy. Okay? I love a. Yes, a couple.
Peter Sagal
Come on, be bald.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
I love a little cue ball head.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
And I'm gay, so I really mean it. I wouldn't lie to you. I mean, I would, but I'm not.
Peter Sagal
The subreddit says it's devoted to encouraging members to, quote, embrace bald, and strive to make the world a more bald, friendly place. All right, okay, that's fine. That could work. Or an idea. We could just make the world less friendly for people with hair. Hey, Furdome. Hey, look at that moss head.
Alzo Slade
Well, I have to say that from my perspective as announcer judge, I see the back of Peter's head.
Peter Sagal
Yeah, yeah.
Alzo Slade
And there is some hair back there a little bit.
Peter Sagal
Yeah.
Adam Burke
It is rude when you check your appearance in the back of his head.
Peter Sagal
Adam, more and more people are giving up on something they're realizing is a time wasting, unprofitable job. What is it?
Adam Burke
Well, I know, I know that Gen Z aren't having sex. Is it sex
Alzo Slade
as a job?
Peter Sagal
As a job?
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Listen.
Adam Burke
Hey, someone say it's the oldest one.
Peter Sagal
Yeah.
Adam Burke
Can I get a clue?
Peter Sagal
Yeah. Do two random guys still laugh at their own jokes if there's no one to hear them?
Adam Burke
Oh, oh, please let this be. Is it podcasts?
Peter Sagal
Yes. People are walking away from podcasting. Yes.
Adam Burke
Applaud that.
Peter Sagal
People are applauding who? Not this one, though. A live taping of what is actually a podcast. Okay. As more and more of the podcasting world is being dominated by just a few shows, many of the other podcasters are realizing that continuing simply isn't worth the time or their money. This is heartbreaking. Without podcasts, where am I supposed to go hear three dudes talk about a movie for two hours longer than the runtime of the movie?
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
I think that we should just take all the microphones from the men and let the girls keep their podcast.
Peter Sagal
Yes, girls agree.
Alzo Slade
And talk about what?
Adam Burke
Well, have all the men murder each other and then have all the women do two crime podcasts about that.
Peter Sagal
Exactly. It's actually a point. One of the problems is so many podcasts are true crime podcasts, and we're running out of crimes. We need more murders. Anybody volunteer?
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
If all the men murdered each other, women would not be wasting time on a podcast. They'd be outside running at night. Booty shorts.
Peter Sagal
Coming up. It's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call to leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago or catch us on the road. We'll be in Austin, Texas on June 4th. And if you like our show, but wish I would stop asking questions all the time, check out our comedy grab bag stand up show at the Bell house in Brooklyn, April 24. Josh Gondelman will be hosting. He'll be joined by our very own Peter Gross and other special guests. Don't miss it. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Kelly from Wilmington, North Carolina. Wilmington, North Carolina, that's a lovely place. What do you do there? I work for a commercial bank specializing in small business loans. But my most important role is mom to a beautiful 10 month old named Sam. Oh, wow, a 10 month old. So you are new to this parenthood thing. I think I'm acing it so far, if I do say so. Oh, wow, I see. Yeah, yeah. You think you're acing it because they can't talk back yet. Well, welcome, welcome to the show, Kelly. Also, Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis is going to read you you3 news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and just two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? Yes, sir. Here is your first limerick.
Alzo Slade
On red carpets I cheekily strut cause the slit on my dress is high cut. It's just a small peak. So it's all very chic. You will catch a side glimpse of my.
Peter Sagal
But yes, very good. According to Vogue, who should know the new look on runways and red carpets is quote, showing off your flank, unquote. You can go for a tasteful peekabutt look like Heidi Klum did with sheer panels highlighting her side butt. Go full crack like chapel roan. Or for the ultimate fashion statement, do what Leonardo DiCaprio did at the Oscars, just fix the drain under the kitchen sink.
Adam Burke
In my day, you just ripped your pants.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. Think it's about time it makes sense. I mean, what is a butt crack, but your lower cleavage.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
You know what?
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
I'm into it.
Peter Sagal
Really? You're excited?
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
I'm into it because I want to see a bunch of favorite people's butts. If that's what you're gonna give me, I'll take it.
Peter Sagal
You will? You're ready for it?
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Yeah, I'm ready for it.
Adam Burke
Is there a fancy word for like, ass, cleavage? Cause, like, with regular cleavage, there's, like, an embonpoint.
Peter Sagal
Yeah.
Adam Burke
And balcon. Don't ask me why I know all these.
Peter Sagal
You know a lot of different ways
Adam Burke
there should be, like, a French word.
Peter Sagal
You know what I mean?
Adam Burke
Yeah.
Peter Sagal
Le crack. All right, here is your next limerick.
Alzo Slade
When my toddler gets bored at home, we go at the DIY place. We roam three rows. He opens all drawers, touches tools, rugs, and more. I am taking my kid to Home Depot.
Peter Sagal
Depot? Yes, Home Depot. You've heard of Home Depot? That, of course, is the megastore popular with boomer dads and millennial lesbians.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Well, hey, you would be correct.
Peter Sagal
There you are. Fact check.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
True.
Peter Sagal
Well, this week, People magazine proposed. It's also a great place to bring your bored toddler. Hear the power tool aisle, kid. Enjoy yourself. I know you love pressing buttons.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
I don't know.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
This is definitely something that I am into.
Peter Sagal
Going, just wandering on Home Depot.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Spending money at Home Depot.
Peter Sagal
Yeah. Just remember, you can only bring your kids there for fun if you're not. If you're actually going there for something you need, because your child will just never get over the trauma of seeing you get that frustrated. And then daddy started shouting, does anybody work here?
Adam Burke
Do you really want your kid to be that comfortable at Home Depot? You know, because you ask him to do his chores, and then he quotes you way over the odds it takes twice as long as he said he's gonna do. Because you know what? We need to rip out the entire wall for me to do much.
Peter Sagal
Yeah, I need a new tool for that. No doubt. All right, here is your last limerick.
Alzo Slade
We sell penthouses in IPO stocks. And we love dermatology, Brodox. We don't go out for smokes, but for quick forehead pokes on our work breaks, we go get some Botox.
Peter Sagal
Yes, Botox. More and more co workers are getting Botox together between meetings. Like a little outing. The meeting that they go to after the Botox appointment must be so interesting. I can't tell if the boss liked my proposal. His face is stuck. Sometimes it's a special, like, office retreat, a bonding exercise. There's Even a Botox clinic that doubles as a co working space. The big question is how do you propose this to your co workers without it being an HR violation? Also, how did Kelly do in our quiz?
Alzo Slade
Three out of three.
Peter Sagal
Perfect.
Alzo Slade
Perfect score.
Peter Sagal
Well done, Kelly. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for calling and playing. Thanks. Bye. Bye.
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and the following message come from Warby Parker, the One Stop Shop for all your vision needs. They offer expertly crafted prescription eyewear plus contacts, eye exams and more. For everything you need to see, visit your nearest Warby Parker store or head to warbyparker.com now it is time for our final game.
Peter Sagal
Lightning. Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth 2 points. Alzo, can you give us the scores?
Alzo Slade
Absolutely. Joyel and Shantira are knotted up at with Adam in the lead with three.
Peter Sagal
All right, so that means Adam is going last and to go first. I'll just pick. How about Joyell? Here we go. Yes, here we go. Joyel, you're up first. The clock will start, but I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a California jury issued a $6 million ruling against social media giant Blank Instagram.
DW Moffat / Listener Owen
No.
Peter Sagal
I'm gonna give it to you Meta. Meta. Yeah, they own Instagram. Okay. Had to think about.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Yes.
Peter Sagal
On Tuesday, the Blank raised its maximum enlistment age to 42 years old.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Oh, the army.
Peter Sagal
The army. On Thursday, the White House announced it was pausing strikes on blank until April 6th.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
You're on.
Peter Sagal
Right. On Monday, a crash caused Blank airport to shut down operations for almost 24 hours. LaGuardia, New York City, baby.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Is that correct?
Peter Sagal
It is correct. I thought maybe you were a little too excited about it, but okay. This week, a truck driver ran into a highway overpass and then immediately blanked.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Peed on himself.
Peter Sagal
No. He then ran into another one. On Thursday, qualification playoffs for the 2026 FIFA. Blank began. Football. Yeah. World Cup. Very good.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Yes.
Peter Sagal
This week, police in New York reported that A man robbed six banks in five days, taking in a total of blank dollars.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
$29.99.
Peter Sagal
A little bit more. 605. The man robbed banks in Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan and the Bronx over the course of five days, but only managed to leave total with $605. Even worse, that means he's only taking home like 400 after taxes.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
You know things are bad when the bank doesn't have any money.
Peter Sagal
That's true. Alzo, how did Joel do in our quiz?
Alzo Slade
She did pretty well. She got five right for 10 more points, which gives her 12 and the lead.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
That's the most I've ever gotten.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Right, Peter?
Peter Sagal
You're getting there. Good morning, grasshopper. You're doing great. Shantira, you're up next. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, another plan to reopen the department of Blank failed in Congress.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Homeland Security.
Peter Sagal
Right. On Tuesday, the House Oversight Committee released video from the closed door depositions of two of Blank's closest associates.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Epstein.
Peter Sagal
Right. This week NASA unveiled a proposal to create a permanent base on the Blank.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
The moon.
Peter Sagal
Right. This week CNN reported the top director at FEMA says that he wants Blanked
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Stole all the money.
Peter Sagal
No, he says he wants teleported to a Waffle House.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Hey, I'm going there later.
Peter Sagal
They didn't see that. Someday you're just in the mood.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
That's the one. That's the first time this administration has done anything that I'm down with.
Peter Sagal
Yeah, yeah, yeah. According to experts, increased gas prices are leading to a surge in sales for Blanks.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Bikes?
Peter Sagal
No. Electric vehicles. On Wednesday, the first trailer for HBO's new adaptation of the Blankie Potter series was released.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Harry Potter.
Peter Sagal
Yes, Harry potter. This week, 6 foot 7 Irishman. Six 7 Irishman. Don't eat. This week, 6 foot 7 irishman nephew became a top football recruit for American colleges. Despite the fact that Blank, he has
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
never played that sport in his life.
Peter Sagal
That's exactly right. He has never played football. Every college football program in the US is trying to sign Nef Jiwa, a 20 year old Irish giant who has never played football. Turns out it actually makes sense. Jiwa caught a recruiter's eye while playing rugby, which if I understand correctly is a sport that answers the question what if football but with punching.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
What if football with little shorts and they touch each other's butts.
Peter Sagal
Some people have different priorities. All right. Also, how did Shantira do it? Our quiz.
Alzo Slade
Shantira also got five right for 10 more points. And she's now tied for the lead.
Peter Sagal
Very good. All right. How many Throw it. How many then does Adam Burke need to win?
Alzo Slade
Adam needs five to win.
Peter Sagal
All right, here we go, Adam. This is for the game. Fill in the Blank. On Wednesday, the season opener with the New York Yankees featured robot blanks
Adam Burke
like pitchers, like machines that fired bolts.
Peter Sagal
They're not using pitching machines. They're using robot umpires. This week, OpenAI said they were shutting down Source, their app that creates AI generated blanks like girlfriends, boyfriends. I was about to say you wish, but I wouldn't say that to you. Videos On Thursday, the IOC announced a new policy that effectively bans Blank athletes from competing in women's events.
Adam Burke
Transgender, right?
Peter Sagal
This week, the FDA cited the makers of a product called Blank for not disclosing that it contained an erectile dysfunction drug. What name and product that secretly included an erectile dysfunction drug was Blank.
Adam Burke
Was it her chicken nugget store?
Peter Sagal
It was called Boner Bear Honey. On Tuesday, late night host Blank said that he is co writing the next film in the Lord of the Rings franchise.
Adam Burke
Stephen Colbert.
Peter Sagal
Right. After a four year break, K pop superstars Blank released a new album, BTS Right. This week, a sailor in the French navy went on a run, posted his results to the app Strava and accidentally Blanked
Adam Burke
started war with Spain.
Peter Sagal
No, he accidentally gave away the top secret location of the aircraft carrier he was on. Strava is an app where various amateur athletes can post a workout complete with GPS maps of where they did it and then other athletes can see and like the post, which is how this French sailor accidentally exposed the location of his aircraft carrier. Even worse, he tagged the post with easy 10k. Felt great. Here are the nuclear launch codes. Alzo Did Adam Burke do well enough to win?
Alzo Slade
Nope, he did pretty bad actually. He only got three right. Which gives the championship championship to Shantira and Joyel.
Peter Sagal
There you are. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict after the Bachelorette what'll be the next series to get canceled at the last minute and why. But first, let me tell you all. Wait, Wait, don't tell me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent overlord Philip Koediker writes our limericks. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Milestone boss and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is our spring breaker. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical directions from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Shellock. And the executive producer of Wait Wait, don't tell me is Mr. Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what's the next TV series to get canceled at the last minute? Shantira Jackson, Euphoria.
Listener/Caller (e.g., Claudia, Kelly)
Because the way that the world is right now, we don't want to watch Zendaya Be Sad.
Adam Burke
Adam burke, the next season of the kids show Bluey is cancelled when the FCC declared that due to equal time rules, there needs to be a show about an angry pit bull called Ready
Peter Sagal
and Joel Nicole Johnson.
Joelle Nicole Johnson
It's a TV show that's been on way too long and therefore it's run its course. So we cancel in the United States of America.
Alzo Slade
And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, don't tell me.
Peter Sagal
Thank you, Alzheimer Slade. Thanks also to Shantira Jackson, Adam Burke and Joel Nicole Johnson. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Johnny Mercer Theater in Savannah. Special thanks to Emily Hacksaw and everyone at gpb. Thanks to our fabulous audience that came out to see us in Savannah. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. Foreign. This is npr. This message comes from Alexa. Say hello to Alexa and see how Alexa can do more for you. Need tickets or craving your favorite restaurant? Alexa's on it free with prime on your Amazon devices. Learn more@Amazon.com Alexa listen to wait, wait, don't tell me.
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Episode Title: We meet America’s robo-teachers and take a nap in coach
Host: Peter Sagal (with announcer Alzo Slade)
Location: Johnny Mercer Theater, Savannah, Georgia
Air Date: March 28, 2026
This episode of NPR’s iconic news quiz show brings humor and commentary around recent headlines, including the shocking debut of a humanoid robot “teacher” at the White House, the sudden cancellation of The Bachelorette, and why Americans apparently dislike spring. Peter Sagal and the panel—Shantira Jackson, Adam Burke, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson—are joined by actor and educator DW Moffat (Savannah College of Art and Design). Listeners participate in news quizzes, and segments cover trending stories about airline upgrades, viral restaurants, bald pride, and more—all delivered in the trademark witty, irreverent style of Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me!
Contestant: Claudia from Chicago
“Melania Trump says, death to the human teachers.” (03:17)
“If we pay the robots the way we pay teachers, they will revolt.” (03:53)
“I made it to age 44 and I have never seen an episode…” (05:54)
“That show exists—it’s called the Senate.” (07:01)
“Spring’s only big holiday is the one where you can’t have candy if you don’t believe in Jesus.” (08:23)
“Peter, I fly first class. I don’t know what’s going on in the back of the airplane.” (10:14)
Contestant: Owen, Iowa State engineering student
“I sometimes am delighted to appear on Worst Dads in Television History lists… When you play a bad guy, you can’t think ‘I’m a bad guy’. I was just playing a dad who was really invested in his son's future.” (22:46)
“I never read the script… My wife knows the post production supervisor, and she was like, oh, oh, no, he’s in the movie.” (24:01)
“My mother is a hillbilly from southeastern Kentucky… so I kind of had an inkling [about ‘bless your heart’].” (26:16)
“The only thing worse than losing your hair is pretending you are not losing your hair.” (34:56)
“Bald is very sexy. I love a little cue ball head.” (35:10)
Contestant: Kelly from Wilmington, NC
“You know things are bad when the bank doesn’t have any money.” (45:27)
“We’ll see you next week.” (51:53)
On robo-teachers:
“You better applaud louder. They will be in charge soon.”
– Peter Sagal, 02:55
On canceled reality TV:
“Taylor Frankie Paul sounds like she put her name in a reality TV show name generator.”
– Joyelle Nicole Johnson, 06:34
On spring’s new marketing slogan:
“Spring: It’s over soon.”
– Peter Sagal quoting the NYT, 09:02
On podcast fatigue:
“Without podcasts, where am I supposed to go hear three dudes talk about a movie for two hours longer than the runtime of the movie?”
– Peter Sagal, 36:39
On bank robberies in the modern era:
“You know things are bad when the bank doesn’t have any money.”
– Claudia (listener), 45:27
On fashion’s new “side butt” trend:
“What is a butt crack, but your lower cleavage?”
– Peter Sagal, 39:56
The March 28, 2026 episode features Wait Wait at its best: rapid-fire wit, topical news, and vibrant banter among Peter Sagal, the panel, listeners, and special guest DW Moffat. Listeners are treated to a comedic journey through headlines about robots in classrooms, canceled reality TV, and even the politics of toes in airline seating—plus plenty of irreverent reflections on American culture, both real and imagined.
For full content, visit Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me! episode archive.