We say "So long!" to Kristi Noem and Benetti plays ball

Summary

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! — Episode Summary: "We say 'So long!' to Kristi Noem and Benetti plays ball"

Podcast: NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
Date: March 7, 2026
Host: Peter Sagal
Panelists: Luke Burbank, Negeen Farsad, Hari Kondabolu
Notable Guest: Jason Benetti

---

Episode Overview

This upbeat, joke-filled episode covers the week's oddest and most entertaining news stories, including the ouster of Kristi Noem from DHS, the phenomenon of “looksmaxing,” priests using ChatGPT for sermons, and Jason Benetti's new gig as the national voice of NBC's Sunday Night Baseball. Delight in the usual blend of wit, wry commentary, panel games, and silly news trivia that’s kept Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! a Saturday staple for comedic current events.

---

Key Discussion Segments and Insights

---

1. The Ousting of Kristi Noem from DHS

• [03:27] The show kicks off with panelist banter about Kristi Noem being fired as Secretary of Homeland Security, replaced in a hurry, and then assigned a new mysterious title:
  • Peter Sagal dryly jokes, “She’ll be, quote, the special envoy for the Shield of the Americas… that job needs somebody qualified, I don't think.”
  • Luke Burbank quips about a trend of ex-cabinet members being shuffled into odd positions: “They’ll be like Marco Rubio, the new ambassador to Genovia, the country from 'The Princess Diaries.'” (05:16)
  • Negeen Farsad likens Noem’s short tenure to “a spring break” filled with posing and “body shots off of ICE agents.” (05:31)
  • Luke, referencing a viral moment, recalls Noem surveying a nearly-empty protest scene, “including a guy in a chicken suit… that guy still has his job. He’s in the chicken suit outside the ICE facility right now.” (05:52)

---

2. The Rise of "Looksmaxing"

• [06:25] A discussion on the looksmaxing trend among young men, based around online influencer Clavicular undergoing double jaw surgery:
  • Negeen sarcastically welcomes men to “the world of impossible beauty standards that women have been inhabiting for centuries. Welcome to rampant insecurity!” (07:09)
  • Peter Sagal observes, “All the men took, like, is it a challenge? We can be that shallow?” (07:48)
  • Hari Kondabolu critiques the Eurocentric (and worse) beauty standards: “All their images of what handsome is, is white with certain, like, European features.” (07:53)
  • “Good black don’t crack. Good brown don’t frown. Good white, that doesn’t exist,” jokes Hari, to applause. (08:13)
  • Peter Sagal notes the absurdity: “Supplements. Like, and this is true: crystal meth. Because when I think crystal meth, I just picture a beautiful face with normal, still present teeth.” (08:35)

---

3. Priests Caught Using AI to Write Sermons

• [09:08] Pope Leo XIV issues a directive to priests: “The brain needs to be used.”
  • As Sagal explains: “Apparently, priests were using AI to write their sermons for them. Writing sermons is their one job!” (09:08)
  • Luke Burbank jokes: “God created us and we created the AI… And free up more time for dinners with grieving widows.” (09:42)
  • Sagal riffs on confessional automation: “Father, before I tell you my confession, could you tell me which of these pictures contains a motorcycle?” (10:16)
  • The panel laments the increasing challenge of online captchas and the human-AI divide: “Now it’s like, is this one micrometer of the crosswalk count as part of the street?” (10:23)

---

4. Listener Quiz Highlights

• [13:55] Bluff the Listener: Wildest timeouts in sports
  • Winning story: Luke Burbank tells the (real) story of a playoff soccer match in Turkey that stopped after the goalie accidentally struck down a seagull with a ball. The captain performed CPR, saving the bird, and delighting animal lovers and chaos fans alike. (16:41-20:38)
    • “[He] started aggressively, doing CPR on the lifeless bird… Not for like three seconds, but a long time. Was it a good idea? Unclear. But did it work? Apparently.” – Luke Burbank (16:41)

---

5. Celebrity Interview – Jason Benetti (Not My Job)

• [21:01] Interview with the new NBC Sunday Night Baseball voice and lifelong White Sox fan Jason Benetti. Topics include:
  • His childhood dream: “In the third grade... I want to be Hawk Harrelson, the broadcaster for the White Sox.” (21:48)
  • Early broadcasting career: “As somebody with a mild case of cerebral palsy, the marching with the tuba… was a horrendous idea… So my job was to keep time with my gait. Which was a terrible, er, idea.” (22:30)
  • The weirdest sport he's called: National Electricians Championships. “Sparks will fly!” Benetti joked on air—to the horror of the safety-conscious organizers: “You can’t say that… that would mean bad craftsmanship.”
  • Home run call ideas: The panel suggests “Bye Bye Ball!” in a purposely child-like tone, which Benetti loves: “Normally when somebody offers me a home run call, they offer only the language portion. But you did the tone as well!” (27:00)

---

6. More Wacky News Round-Up

• Washington State ‘Spanish’ Line: Residents pressing 2 for Spanish got English read with a Spanish accent; only numbers were correctly in Spanish. “Finally, a job for someone who got their Spanish degree from Sesame Street.” (11:17)
• McDonald’s CEO Burger Video: CEO Chris Kempczynski clearly fakes eating a Big Arch Burger. “It’s like the air kiss of eating.” – Peter Sagal (37:19)
• Great Wolf Lodge’s Ranch Milkshake: “Because people were not pooping enough” (39:22)
• Chimpanzee Crystal Love: Chimps prefer quartz crystals to rocks, proof other primates can fall for pseudoscience, too (40:52)
• Teacup Pig Myth: There’s no such thing as a “teacup pig”—they all become “the size of a top-loading freezer.” (42:14)
• Playdate Parent Anxiety: Parents now fear their kid’s friends are judging them during playdates (34:35)
  • “I don't give a [bleep] what those kids think of me. My daughter's friends, they should be so lucky to have me in the room.” – Negeen Farsad (35:02)

---

7. Lightning Fill In The Blank (Game Recap)

• Fast-paced news quiz segment at episode’s end:
  • Notable moment: A man in Brazil is saved from attacking dogs by his phone exploding after a bite.
  • A London theater cancels bacon sales at a Peppa Pig show, to avoid traumatizing children. “In retrospect, yes, it was kind of weird that kids would watch a show about Peppa Pig and then go out in the lobby and eat cousin pig.” (49:43)

---

Most Memorable Quotes

• “Supplements. Like, and this is true: crystal meth. Because when I think crystal meth, I just picture a beautiful face with normal, still present teeth.”
  — Peter Sagal [08:35]

• “All their images of what handsome is is white with certain European features… good black don’t crack, good brown don’t frown, good white—that doesn’t exist.”
  — Hari Kondabolu [08:13]

• “Sparks will fly!”
  — Jason Benetti, on electric championships…and why that’s a safety problem [25:42]

• “[The CEO] lifts it to his mouth and kind of pecks it… It’s like the air kiss of eating.”
  — Peter Sagal on McDonald’s CEO and the Big Arch Burger [37:19]

• “My daughter’s friends, they should be so lucky to have me in the room!... I don’t want them to be like, ‘I’m hungry—because they didn’t feed us.’”
  — Negeen Farsad [35:02, 36:05]

---

Notable Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:27] Kristi Noem's firing and panel's reaction
• [06:25] Discussion of looksmaxing and its societal implications
• [09:08] Priests using AI to write sermons
• [11:17] The "Spanish" line in Washington state
• [14:16] Bluff the Listener: sports timeouts
• [21:01] “Not My Job” interview: Jason Benetti
• [27:00] Panel suggests a home run call
• [34:35] Playdate parent anxiety and panel’s take
• [37:19] McDonald’s CEO “air-bite” goes viral
• [39:22] Ranch milkshake at Great Wolf Lodge
• [40:52] Chimpanzees and the power of crystal
• [42:14] Teacup pig myth dispelled

---

Finale: Panel Predictions

• [51:06] Each panelist humorously predicts the next internet beauty trend:
  • Negeen Farsad: “Feet maxing—bunions are cool, so you can now get them surgically added to your feet.”
  • Hari Kondabolu: “Brain smashing—it’s time to get rid of some excess brain cells.”
  • Luke Burbank: “Looks snacksing—where I make a bunch of snacks and look at the internet trying to figure out what the hell people are doing to their faces.”

---

Tone and Takeaway

Unfailingly light, irreverent, and quick with both pop-culture references and cutting commentary, the show offers laughs in the face of alarming or absurd headlines. The episode is a high-spirited blend of news, satire, and gamesmanship, with Peter Sagal keeping the pace and the jokes rapid-fire as always.

---

Useful for:

• Anyone looking for a cheerful, pointed summary of recent politics and pop culture weirdness.
• Fans of Jason Benetti and baseball.
• Listeners curious about beauty fads, technology in religion, and the eternal trials of parenting.

---

Listen for:
The unexpectedly touching, honest panel banter about anxiety, family, and life's small indignities, nestled perfectly between the punchlines.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

This message comes from Alexa. The all new Alexa will do more so you don't have to chat naturally while Alexa learns your style, anticipates what's next and makes it happen free with prime on your Amazon devices. Learn [e-mail] AlexaPlus.

[Bill Curtis]

From npr and wbez chicago, this is wait, wait, don't tell me, the npr news quiz. I'm the voice so powerful I command the clocks to spring forward. I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that after this last week, I am ready for some baseball. And that is why I'm very excited to tell you that later on we're going to be talking to the new voice of Sunday Night Baseball on NBC, Jason Bonetti.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

Now,

[Peter Sagal]

Jason has a lot in common with Pope Leo. This is true. Both grew up in Chicago as White Sox fans. And Jason also speaks with the authority of God. But first, it'll be your turn to take the field. Give us a call. Play our games at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-92-4-89-2. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Laura Braun and I'm from Cypress, Texas. Hey, Laura, so what do you do there in Cypress, Texas?

[Negeen Farsad]

I'm a high school English teacher.

[Peter Sagal]

Are you really? Yes, I, of course, as you can imagine, was very fond of my high school English teachers. You have to be careful because if you encourage them, they may go into great things. If you encourage them too much, they might go into public radio and be public radio listeners. That's true. Well, thank you for, yes, thank you for making listeners for us. We very much appreciate it. Well, Laura, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, he's the host of the daily podcast TBTL and the public radio variety show Livewire, which will be live at Hopscotch in Portland on Wednesday, March 11th. It's Luke Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Laura.

[Peter Sagal]

Next up, it is a proud and and freaked out Iranian who's worrying about her family back home. It's Negeen Farsad.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hello.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

Hi.

[Negeen Farsad]

Hi. It's so great to meet you. I am freaked out about my family in Iran and I hope for the best outcomes for everybody. And I'm just, you know, turns out not to be controversial here, but I hate war.

[Peter Sagal]

Whoa, man.

[Jason Benetti]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Gotta Be careful of taking those political stances. And finally, a comedian who'll be headlining the Alaska before youe Die festival in Anchorage, Alaska on Friday, April 3rd. It's Hari Kondabolu.

[Bill Curtis]

Hey, Laura.

[Negeen Farsad]

Hi.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, welcome to the show. Laura, you're going to play who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to start us off with three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you may choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go?

[Commercial Announcer]

Ready.

[Peter Sagal]

All right. Your first quote is from a Department of Homeland Security employee who was talking on the down low to the Daily Mail Thursday about a big shakeup this week.

[Bill Curtis]

Crowds are celebrating. Lots of phone calls, texts, people stopping by to celebrate.

[Peter Sagal]

So people at DHS were apparently rejoicing that who is no longer their boss, Kristi Noem. Kristi Noem. Well, a lot of fans in the room. What a warm send off. She'll be grateful.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, they're not replacing her with Obama just as a heads up. Yeah, I know, but still, it's not getting better.

[Peter Sagal]

On Thursday, the President fired DHS Secretary Kristi Noem in a heartfelt run on sentence. It's so unfair, though. I mean, she was fired with no warning. When it happened. She was actually delivering a speech somewhere. I mean, I bet if her face could make expressions, it would have looked really sad. Trump has announced that he is going to give her a new job. She will be, quote, the special envoy for the Shield of the Americas. You may not know what that is. You may. Oh, no. Oh, you guys are like booing because you don't think she's fit to be the envoy to the Shield of the Americas. Is that your problem? You're like, oh, oh, wow. No, that job needs somebody qualified, I don't think. Anyway, if you don't know what that job is, it is the position you get if you did a really bad job running Homeland Security, but you still know too much about the Epstein files.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like this is going to be happening to a lot of these cabinet members over the next weeks and months. They'll be like Marco Rubio, the new ambassador to Genovia, the country from the Princess Diaries.

[Negeen Farsad]

I also wonder how she's gonna look back at her time at dhs because it honestly, for her, it was sort of just like a spring break, you know what I mean? She like hooked up with a new guy, you know what I mean? She was like on camera a lot, like posing, you know, So I think she probably did a lot of body shots off of ice agents.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm from Portland, and of course, she showed up at the ice fac in Portland and staged this, like, hilarious event, which is she stood on the roof, like, surveying, like, antifa hellscape, which had, at that moment of the day, like, four people, including a guy in a chicken suit we remember, who was just looking at her kind of like, perplexed. That guy still has his job.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, it's true.

[Luke Burbank]

He's in the chicken suit outside of the ice facility right now.

[Peter Sagal]

And she does it. Yeah, the chicken guy won.

[Luke Burbank]

Gnome zero.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Laurie, your next quote is from somebody revealing some exciting news.

[Bill Curtis]

I'm getting a double jaw surgery in a couple weeks.

[Peter Sagal]

That was Braden Peters. Known to the online world as clavicular. He is one of the leaders of a movement called looksmaxing. If you look smacks, you prioritize what, over everything else? Your physical appearance. Your physical appearance. Yes. Quote, looks maxing is a growing trend among young men obsessed with improving the appearance of every part of their body, including, quote, soft maxing, that's diet or exercise. Quote, hard maxing, that's getting surgery. And all of this phenomenon is also known as, quote, a mental health crisis.

[Negeen Farsad]

Can I just take a step back for a second and just say, like, welcome to all of these gentlemen who are joining the world of impossible beauty standards that women have been inhabiting for centuries. Welcome to rampant insecurity and now do earn less for doing the same work. Let's do that one. And can I also just say that, like, I thought, like, we were gonna achieve equality by women doing better.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Negeen Farsad]

But this way, if men do worse, I guess that's also a way we can do equality.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

All the men took, like, is it a challenge? We can be that shallow?

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

Yeah.

[Hari Kondabolu]

I've been thinking about it. It's really racist white boy nonsense when you think about it. Because all their images of what handsome is is white with certain, like, European features. Right? Like, that's what they're basing everything on.

[Peter Sagal]

European features, like sharp cheekbones, Nazi tattoos.

[Hari Kondabolu]

But it's also, like, it completely forgets the idea that, like, white people age terribly. We all know this. I mean, good black don't crack, good brown don't frown, good white, that doesn't exist.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, see, Harry, see, this is where I think maybe your vision on this is a little short sighted. There's no way clavicular is living past 30.

[Peter Sagal]

That's absolutely true. Yeah. Because you gotta understand something. This has nothing to do with Health zero. It's just appearance. So they're obsessed with plastic surgery and supplements. Supplements. Like, and this is true crystal meth. Because when I think crystal meth, I just picture a beautiful face with normal, still present teeth. All right, Laura, your last quote is a declaration from Pope Leo XIV just this week.

[Bill Curtis]

The brain needs to be used.

[Peter Sagal]

The Pope was commanding all the Catholic priests around the world to. To stop using what? To write their weekly sermons. As an English teacher, I'm so on his side. ChatGPT? Yes, ChatGPT. AI chatbots. Apparently, priests were using AI to write their sermons for them. Why would they need to do that? Writing sermons is their one job, Right? Their weekly schedule is just write the sermon and have dinner with a widow.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I feel like if I was the priest, I would make the argument that, you know, God created us and we created the AI and who are we to not, you know, enjoy its bounty.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

And free up more time for dinners with grieving widows.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. And whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

That was unpersuasive to the Pope, I guess.

[Peter Sagal]

No, apparently not. He didn't buy. Well, the problem is, if you think about it from the Pope's perspective, it's a violation of trust. Right? Because what if priests start using AI for everything they're supposed to do? You like, you go into the booth, you're like. Father, before I tell you my confession, could you tell me which of these pictures contains a motorcycle?

[Luke Burbank]

Can I just say, those are getting harder.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, they really are.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, my failure rate on captchas is shockingly high these days. I mean, did they run out of the easy ones? Now it's like, is this one micrometer of the crosswalk count as part of the street?

[Peter Sagal]

It's really true. Translate this from the ancient Greek. Bill, how did Laura do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Laura did not hesitate to give us all three correct answers.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Well done, Laura. Congratulations. Take care.

[Negeen Farsad]

Thank you so much.

[Peter Sagal]

Take care, Larry.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

Bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke. Washington state residents were shocked this week to find out that when they called a state office and pressed two for

[Luke Burbank]

Spanish, they heard what English delivered with a quote, unquote Spanish accent.

[Peter Sagal]

That is exactly right. It turns out that for the last few months, if you called the Washington State Department of Licensing. What got the voicemail? Pressed 2 to hear your options in Spanish, this is what you would hear. Thank you for calling the Department of Licensing Customer support Center for assistance with scheduling a driver licensing office appointment, please press uno. If you press five, she tells Lucy no, she can't be in the show. And this is also true. The only Spanish words that this bot says are numbers. So finally, a job for someone who got their Spanish degree from Sesame Street. Coming up, our panelists just take a break. Call 1- Triple-8- wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait, Wait, don't tell me for next deal.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

Support for this podcast and the following message come from sponsor Mint Mobile. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] wait upfront payment of $45 for 3 months of 5gb plan required. New customer offer for first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com support for this podcast.

[Peter Sagal]

And the following message come from Alexa. Say hello to Alexa and see how the experience is tailored to you. Planning a vacation? Ask Alexa to recommend a trip. Use Alexa to find the name, that song you love, discover new favorite shows or recipes and so much more. Ask Alexa anything. And now Alexa is free with prime on your Amazon devices like echo and Fire TV. Get started at Amazon.com Alexa+ this message

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

comes from LinkedIn ads. One of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience. That's why you need LinkedIn ads. You can target your buyers by job title, company role, seniority and skills, all the professionals you need to reach in one place. Get a $250 credit on your next campaign so you can try it yourself. Just go to LinkedIn.com nprpod that's LinkedIn.com nprpod Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads.

[Bill Curtis]

From npr and wbz chicago, this is wait, wait, don't tell me, the npr news quiz. I'm bill curtis. We're playing this week with hari kondavolu, nageen farsad and luke burbank. And here again is your host at the studebaker theater in chicago, illinois, peter sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, bill. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, don't tell Me. Bluff the listener game. Call 1 Triple 8 wait, wait to blare a game on the air. Hi. You are on Wait, Wait, don't tell Me. Hello, this is Heather. I'm calling from Brookston, Indiana. Brookston, Indiana. We were just in Indiana. I didn't see you. You did see me. I actually got to ask you a question in the Q and A session in that's hilarious I'm a little embarrassed.

[Luke Burbank]

That could not have gone worse.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm sorry.

[Bill Curtis]

Well, there were 3,200 people.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. I'm voiced. Heather, welcome back to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Heather's topic?

[Bill Curtis]

I call a timeout now.

[Peter Sagal]

You better have a good reason. If you call a timeout in the middle of a game. And sorry, stopping to check on all the bets you placed on yourself is not a good enough excuse. This week we read about a surprising mid game timeout at a competition. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize. Wait. Waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, I'm ready. All right. First, let's hear from Hari Kondabolu.

[Hari Kondabolu]

A hockey game in Muddy River, Minnesota was stopped during the second period after a Zamboni lost control, leaving players and fans running for their lives. The runaway machine was a new driverless model and was purchased when former driver Steve Berman was fired after driving the Zamboni drunk, which apparently is a crime in Minnesota. He got a Z U I. Town officials say the mistake may have come from the Zamboni software developer David Starr, a man they hired who was good at software but had never seen a hockey game in his life. According to Starr, I just assumed the Zamboni was kind of part of the game like it was in the action and the guys played against it. The town has decided to hire a human Zamboni driver who will not drink beer while operating the machine. So far, the search has proved futile.

[Peter Sagal]

An out of control, self driving Zamboni disrupts a hockey game in Minnesota. Your next sports stoppage time comes from Luke Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

Soccer is a hard enough sport considering they don't let you use your hands. But things got even more challenging recently at a playoff match in Turkey when goalkeeper Mohammad Uyanek sent a ball soaring into the air, only to watch it absolutely obliterate a seagull who happened to be flying by the bird, fell out of the sky and onto the turf and wasn't moving. Which is when Ujanek's teammate, team captain Gani Katan, came to the rescue, stopping the game, which is something they don't even do when a person gets hurt, he ran onto the field and knelt by the bird's side. Then, in a move that could only be described as Dr. Dolittle meets the pit. Kattan started aggressively, doing CPR on the lifeless bird. And not for like three seconds, but for a long time. Was it a good idea? Unclear. But did it work? Apparently. The bird is reportedly doing well, recuperating from an injured wing. And congrats to whoever bet $1,000 on DraftKings that someone would almost kill a bird during the match. They were, of course, the big winner.

[Peter Sagal]

A soccer game in Turkey stopped when a bird injured by a flying ball is revived by a caring team captain. Your last time out tale comes from Negeen Farsad.

[Negeen Farsad]

The Basketball league of Manhattan's West Village had its annual playoffs at the West 4th street courts on Saturday. A team of investment bankers who called themselves the Eyeballers were playing against a team of bo Bodega owners, the Bodunkadunks. Normally these games are uneventful. Just a bunch of middle aged men acting like they aren't afraid of injury but nevertheless moving very slowly. But tonight there was a man in the bleachers rumored to be an NBA scout. So these basketballers of a certain age went hard in the first 10 minutes. It was an exhilarating game. Onlookers were wowed by their speed and alacrity. But on minute 11, Gerald Miliband of JP Morgan Chase gripped his torn ACL and took the bench. By minute 15, Jimmy Torres screamed at a torn meniscus and took the bench. By the end of the first quarter, of the 10 players, six of them had serious injuries, including torn ACL, MCL, ruptured Achilles and hamstrings. In a show of intra team spirit, however, they did share an ambulance to the hospital. Oh, and turns out that NBA scout was just a guy wearing a suit.

[Hari Kondabolu]

All right,

[Peter Sagal]

So here are your choices. A game stopped somewhere. For what reason was it? From Hari Kondabolu, a Zamboni self driving itself goes berserk and destroys a hockey rink in Minnesota.

[Luke Burbank]

From.

[Peter Sagal]

From Luke Burbank, a soccer game in Turkey is interrupted when a bird is injured and then must be saved. Or from Negin Farsad, a basketball game in New York City ends when the corporate types trying to impress somebody all manage to destroy their lower bodies. Which of these was the real story of a game that stopped prematurely we found in the news. I can never guess these right, but maybe the seagull story is the right one. Maybe. Maybe. All right, you're going to choose. Maybe you're going to choose Luke's story of the Seagull. Well, we spoke to someone with some expertise on the real story. Maybe he did save the bird's life. Maybe the bird stopped breathing and that's

[Negeen Farsad]

what brought it back.

[Peter Sagal]

That was Dr. Sepperstein. That was Dr. Sipperstein, an exotic Peter veterinarian in the Bay Area on the seagull that was resuscitated in the middle of a game in turkeys. Congratulations. You got it right, Heather.

[Negeen Farsad]

Oh, thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

You earned a point for Luke and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice and your voicemail. Oh, wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for playing, Heather. And I guess at this rate, we'll see you next week.

[Bill Curtis]

Absolutely.

[Peter Sagal]

Take care.

[Luke Burbank]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

And now the game where we ask experts about something about which they have no expertise. It's called Not My Job. Jason Benetti grew up in Chicago and in the third grade wrote an essay in which he said he wanted to be the broadcaster for the Chicago White Sox. And he actually got that job in 2016. He must also have dreamed back then about being the national voice of baseball for NBC Sports, because he got that job this week. Jason Benetti, welcome to. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Jason Benetti]

SA is a bit of a stretch.

[Peter Sagal]

SA is a bit of a stretch. So we obviously, this is part of your legend, which I think people here in Chicago know. Maybe now they'll know it across the nation. But it is true that you were in the third grade White Sox fan, right?

[Jason Benetti]

Yeah, that's right.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. You said, I want to be. I want to be Hawk Harrelson, the broadcaster for the White Sox.

[Jason Benetti]

I actually did. What people don't know is I wrote 50 of those.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Jason Benetti]

One was I'd like to be a district attorney. One was, I'd like to flip burgers. And we just unearthed whichever one I got the job for.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Jason Benetti]

You gotta be ready for anything in a baseball game.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. You started broadcasting, if I'm not mistaken, your high school band competitions. Marching band competitions.

[Jason Benetti]

That's right. If you're listening on the radio, you can't see my stature, but I think, like, wispy and frail covers it.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Bill Curtis]

Right.

[Jason Benetti]

And I, you know, as somebody with a mild case of cerebral palsy, the marching with the tuba that I selected as my instrument was a horrendous idea.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Jason Benetti]

So the first band director in middle school made me the drum major.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Jason Benetti]

So my job was to keep time with my gait.

[Bill Curtis]

Right.

[Jason Benetti]

Which was a terrible, er, idea.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Jason Benetti]

So then in high school, they moved that to, we're going to put the tuba on the field and you'll march in place while everybody else goes in planetary orbit around you. That didn't go great either. So the band director said, why don't you go upstairs and announce the band's set? So coming up next, Wheels of a Dream from Ragtime or whatever it was. And it was the first time I was behind a microphone. So thanks to Bill Jastrow of Homewood Flossmoor High School for all this.

[Peter Sagal]

There you are. And you eventually got the job of the White Sox. You broadcast them for many years and you left right before they recorded the worst record in the modern era for a baseball team. You went to the Detroit Tigers and they. Whoa, whoa. And they made an amazing.

[Jason Benetti]

They're saying, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

And they made an amazing unexpected run right to the playoffs that year. It was you, wasn't it?

[Jason Benetti]

I think just yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Just yes.

[Jason Benetti]

They clinched against the White Sox, which was a funny full circle sort of thing, really.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, yeah, I know. You had to. You spent years on the road, minor league baseball, high school basketball. Do you remember the most obscure sport or game you ever had to broadcast?

[Jason Benetti]

So a couple of years ago, I got a phone call from somebody here in Chicago and they said, hey, we're looking for somebody to do play by play and post production from a studio of the National Electricians Championships.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm sorry, what?

[Jason Benetti]

Correct. So it had.

[Luke Burbank]

You were going to call the Neckies.

[Peter Sagal]

You know, Vin Scully used to call the Neckies without a partner. It was amazing.

[Jason Benetti]

It's time for frayed wires. Ben used to say,

[Peter Sagal]

what in the world was the national level Electricians Championship?

[Jason Benetti]

Yeah, yeah. So it was on tape already. So I didn't have the excitement, the excitement of life, the zest, the sizzle, I guess, of the. I'm very careful about how I talk about this, though, because when we were in the studio.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Jason Benetti]

They said, okay, to start. Just go off script. There's a whole script. And my analyst was the electrician from this old house. Scott Karen was on Bob Vila's this Old House. So we just did one run through, straight ahead, through the script. And then the second time they said, okay, let's do a bunch of ad libs. So going to the final break, I said, come back with us. We'll crown a champion. Sparks will fly. And I just thought of that off the top of my head.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow, that's talent.

[Jason Benetti]

You're not going to believe it. A guy from the Electricians Championship group, the conglomerate that was staging the show, came in and said, you can't say that.

[Bill Curtis]

Yeah, of course.

[Jason Benetti]

And I said, well, why? He said, well, that would mean bad craftsmanship. And so I said, do it again, do it again. So we do it again. And I say, coming up next, we'll crown a champion. Sparks won't fly. And the guy comes walking in again. And this is his job, right?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, sure.

[Jason Benetti]

To come in and tell me what, ad libs don't work.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Jason Benetti]

And he said, you can't say that either. It's too snarky. And I literally said to the guy, why am I here? If neither of those works, why am I here?

[Peter Sagal]

One last question. I'm pretty sure unless something happened at the end of last season, I missed that. You have not settled on a signature home run call.

[Jason Benetti]

I have not.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, do you feel that now you will be the NBC Sunday night baseball voice of the game that it is time to pick one?

[Jason Benetti]

I do. And I think we have the perfect panel up here for it.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Jason Benetti]

If they care to offer suggestions for a home run call.

[Hari Kondabolu]

How about Bye Bye Ball

[Luke Burbank]

in that exact Bye bye.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

Bye.

[Negeen Farsad]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

Bye bye.

[Jason Benetti]

See, normally this is why this show is great. Normally when somebody offers me a home run call, they offer me only the language portion. But you did the tone as well. I think it makes the most motif.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Hari Kondabolu]

You have to say it like a six year old.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, Jason Benetti, it is a pleasure to have you here, have you back home in Chicago, but we have asked you here to play our game.

[Bill Curtis]

We are calling Jason Benetti. Here's some confetti.

[Peter Sagal]

We're going to ask you about confetti. That's the word that used to mean little sweets and now means a huge mess. Answer two to three questions correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Jason Benetti playing?

[Bill Curtis]

Tim Hudson of Washington D.C. alright, here's your first question.

[Peter Sagal]

One of the biggest confetti drops each year is in Times Square on New Year's Eve and more than 3,000 pounds of confetti is dispersed all over. But that can sometimes lead to what problem A, the confetti cannons are so big they can trigger an earthquake warning in the area. B, the confetti explosions can spook thousands of pigeons all at once, leading to a giant shower of birds poop on the revelers. Or C, sometimes after the event, many people are suffering from a medical condition called confetti arm.

[Jason Benetti]

You were vague enough that I think confetti arm is real.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true. It is real. Because you see, there are no confetti cannons or dispensers. All the confetti thrown into Times Square is thrown by hand, all £3,000 of it. And the man in charge says the repetitive motion of throwing the confetti can lead to, quote, confetti arm. All right, here's your next question. Confetti can be made of a lot of things. Paper, plastic, even sometimes gold. But paradegoers at the 2012 Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade were surprised when they found out that the confetti that day was made of what? A, newspaper ads for Walmart, B, shredded police documents, some of which included the names of undercover police officers, or C, slices of turkey.

[Jason Benetti]

So when I was in the minors, yes. My broadcast partner was Kevin Brown of the Baltimore Orioles. He's a TV announcer in Major League Baseball as well. We would drive to games and listen to. Wait, wait. And quite often we would say, I hope it's B.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Jason Benetti]

And so I get to, on the show say, I hope it's baby.

[Peter Sagal]

It was B.

[Jason Benetti]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Apparently, someone looked at a confetti, piece of confetti stuck to a friend's coat and says, why does that confetti have someone's Social Security number on it? All right, you have a chance for a perfect game. Confetti cannons are a popular feature at shows and concerts. Not in Times Square, but the band Bad omens stopped using theirs after a show in Melbourne, Australia, where what happened? A, the cannon suffered a glitch where instead of going off at the end of a song, they fired off randomly all night. B, when the cannons went off, the confetti knocked a bunch of ceiling tiles loose, which fell on the audience's heads. Or C, someone stuck a balloon in the barrel, causing the cannon to explode.

[Jason Benetti]

I'm gonna say that it was A and it was firing all night.

[Peter Sagal]

No, I'm afraid it was actually B. Again, I hope it's B. Yeah. Kevin out there was shouting, I hope it's B. It was B. The next night, after the tile incident, the lead singer of the band said from the stage, quote, a moment of silence for the victims of the ceiling panels. Not a joke. Shut up. I heard they're all here tonight. Everyone that was hit by the ceiling tile. If you were. Where my tile guys at?

[Luke Burbank]

What do you expect from a band called Bad Omen?

[Peter Sagal]

It's true. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

They're not called Good Diplomacy.

[Peter Sagal]

That's right. Bill, how did Jason Benetti do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Two hits out of three put you on base. You're a winner.

[Peter Sagal]

There you are. Jason Benetti is a sportscaster in the new voice of Sunday night baseball on NBC. You can hear him all this season. Jason Benetti, thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait. JOHN TH. In just a minute, Bill has a new dessert for you to try and immediately regret in our Listener Limerick challenge. Call 1-88-HAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait wait, Don't Tell me from npr.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

This message comes from Jerry. Are you tired of your car insurance rate going up even with a clean driving record? That's why there's Jerry, your proactive insurance assistant. Jerry compares rates side by side from over 50 top insurers and helps you switch with ease. Jerry even tracks market rates and alerts you when it's best to shop. No spam calls, no hidden fees. Drivers who save with Jerry could save over $1,300 a year. Switch with confidence, download the Jerry app or visit Jerry AI, NPR today, this

[Commercial Announcer]

message comes from Midi Health, a virtual care platform for women in perimenopause and menopause. Chief Medical Officer Dr. Kathleen Jordan shares the wide range of symptoms they work to address for women in midlife.

[Negeen Farsad]

There's dry eyes, dry hair, dry skin. There's dry mouth, trouble sleeping, panic and anxiety attacks. When we ask patients about common symptoms, on average, they report six MIDI Health

[Commercial Announcer]

committed to helping women in midlife with perimenopause and menopause care, accessible via telehealth [e-mail] this message comes from Instacart. Everyone prefers things a certain way, like groceries. If you want groceries just how you like them, you gotta try Instacart. They have a new preference picker that lets you pick how ripe or unripe you want your bananas. Shoppers can see your preferences upfront, helping guide their choices. Because when it comes to groceries, the details matter. Instacart get groceries just how you like.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR on WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, don't tell Me the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Luke Burbank, Hari Kondabolu and Nageen Farsad. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. PETER thank you, Bill.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, we fulfill our enforced Limerick quota. It's our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-88-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel, though, some more questions for you from the week's news. Negeen. According to New York Magazine, more and more Parents are worried about whether or not who likes them more and more.

[Negeen Farsad]

Parents are what? Oh, of their own children.

[Peter Sagal]

Like, not their own children. That's a lost cause. Nagging.

[Negeen Farsad]

Okay, sorry.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Negeen Farsad]

Other school parents.

[Peter Sagal]

Not the parents.

[Negeen Farsad]

The principal.

[Peter Sagal]

Not the principal.

[Negeen Farsad]

The teacher.

[Peter Sagal]

No, it's not the. Let me give you a hint. Let me give you a hint.

[Bill Curtis]

The building.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

No.

[Negeen Farsad]

What do we say, Peter?

[Peter Sagal]

I'll give you a hand. You're like, oh, go. No, you have to wear something nicer than that. Henry's coming over for a play date.

[Negeen Farsad]

Oh, the friends of your kids.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, your kids friends. Apparently this is a big anxiety. According to the cut, that's a section of New York magazine, it's normal to worry your kids friends are judging you because they are. There's nothing you can do about it if you try too hard. You're like the mom from Mean Girls. You don't try at all and they're like, what the hell? No snacks, lady.

[Negeen Farsad]

Can I just say in response to the cut, I don't give a what those kids think of me.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Really.

[Negeen Farsad]

My daughter's friends, they should be so lucky to have me in the room.

[Bill Curtis]

Come on.

[Negeen Farsad]

Also, don't flatter yourselves. I don't want to be around you guys at all. Go play.

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. You don't.

[Negeen Farsad]

I mean, we're all very.

[Peter Sagal]

You have a daughter from Rice, right? And you don't send your daughter's friends home. They get picked up. They go home. And you don't think to yourself, she's going to go home and compare me to her mom and I'm going to look pretty good and I will spend

[Luke Burbank]

as much money at this red robin as I have to to prove that

[Negeen Farsad]

this is so you're. Yeah. So like I'm basically mogging the mom. Other moms.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Negeen Farsad]

No, I don't. I just mostly am. Like, I don't want there to be any injuries or anything like that. So there's like a report of like this mom let an injury happen. So that's like mostly that's it.

[Luke Burbank]

That's all really.

[Peter Sagal]

That's it. Just as long as there are no felonies.

[Negeen Farsad]

Yeah. And like, I don't want them to be like, I'm hungry because they didn't feed us. Like that's it. Yeah. Those are the two things, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Basic needs.

[Hari Kondabolu]

What would the impress a five year old? Like what, a bluey T shirt and some shorts. What is a five year old looking for an adult to look like?

[Luke Burbank]

And what kind of uncool adult would that make you you know what I mean? In order to appeal to a young kid, whatever their sensibility is, when the other adults see you, they'll be like, is this person okay?

[Hari Kondabolu]

Right, right. It's also a little creepy. Like, why are you dressed like a child?

[Negeen Farsad]

Yeah, but. And also, like, why are you even trying to spend time with us? Like, like we're gonna play now. You go.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Leave now.

[Negeen Farsad]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Luke, the CEO of McDonald's put out a video of himself trying their brand new burger, the Big Arch Burger. The video went viral because of the way the CEO did what appeared to

[Luke Burbank]

have literally never eaten a McDonald's burger in his life.

[Peter Sagal]

That's right. Specifically because of his. The tiny, tiny bite he took. Chris Kempczynski is the CEO of McDonald's and he introduced their new Big Archburger by posting a video of himself with one. And after describing how great it was, he lifts it to his mouth and kind of pecks it.

[Bill Curtis]

Right.

[Peter Sagal]

It's not clear. He actually makes contact with it with his teeth. It's like the air kiss of eating.

[Negeen Farsad]

Like, did no one ever notice that the CEO lacked the fundamentals gentle burger charisma required for the job?

[Hari Kondabolu]

I wonder if like they told him to take a bigger bite. And off camera he's like, I'm not gonna eat this crap.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

Kidding me.

[Hari Kondabolu]

You know what's in here?

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, it's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. You can also catch us on the road. We'll be in Savannah, Georgia, home of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and One Night Us, March 26th. We will also be in San Diego on April 30th. For tickets and more information to all of our live events, go to nprpresents.org hi everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Jason Benetti]

Hi, Peter.

[Luke Burbank]

This is Eli calling from Royal Oak, Michigan.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, hello, Eli. We apparently have some Royal Oakers. What do you do there?

[Luke Burbank]

I am a new ish lawyer practicing corporate litigation.

[Peter Sagal]

Corporate litigation. Yeah, I know.

[Luke Burbank]

Dry your tears, Eli. With thousands of dollars it doesn't hurt.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, welcome to the show, Eli. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or Phrase correctly and two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

The flow of this drink we must stanch because the thought of its taste makes me blench. They think Hidden Valley is right up my alley. It's a milkshake that tastes just like Ranch Ranch.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. The Great Wolf Lodge chain of water park resorts recently announced the new ranch flavored milkshake because people were not pooping enough. The treatment, if you will, is made with ice cream ranch seasoning and is topped with carrots, celery, chicken nuggets and whipped cream. The head chef at Great Wolf Lodge developed it through a process called throwing random things into a blender till the ache in his heart went away. They.

[Luke Burbank]

If you've been inside a Great Wolf Lodge, it is a violation of the Geneva Conventions, just. Just as is, let alone this ranch dressing situation. And like you said, the fact that it's a bunch of pools and water slides indoors with adults who have been served alcohol and their children who they haven't seen for hours.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

This is a terrible idea.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Wait, there's water slides in the lodge?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, that's what it is.

[Peter Sagal]

That's why it's called Great Wolf Lodge. You know, water slides.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, Good point. Legally, we can't do describe them as water slides.

[Bill Curtis]

All right, here's your next limerick in our family tree. Chimps aren't distal, though. They cannot make pancakes or whistle. But they open their hearts to the aura of quartz. Chimpanzees feel the power of crystal.

[Peter Sagal]

Crystal, yes. It turns out that humans are not the only primates who are suckers for New Age crap. A scientist at a chimp sanctuary offered chimps a quartz crystal and a plain rock of the same size. And in multiple trials, the chimps grabbed the crystal and let the rock sit there. The joke is on them. Under the rock was a coupon for a thousand bananas.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

God.

[Hari Kondabolu]

So they're as shallow as we are.

[Peter Sagal]

Apparently, yeah.

[Hari Kondabolu]

That's amazing.

[Peter Sagal]

In fact, the chimps might actually have a better appreciation for crystals than human because the chimps at least haven't tried to use them as deodorant. That's a thing.

[Commercial Announcer]

It is.

[Negeen Farsad]

Oh, my God. I've used that deodorant.

[Luke Burbank]

We know.

[Negeen Farsad]

It's like the only thing about me that I don't use it all the time. I'm not gonna defend myself to you guys. Okay, I'm gonna stop right there.

[Peter Sagal]

Here is your last limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

They said teacup, but he grew real big. He porked out. That's the truth. Not a dig. Now, like Charlotte, I know that they eat and they grow. No such thing as a wee little pig.

[Peter Sagal]

Pig.

[Bill Curtis]

Yes. Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

That's our begging people to stop buying what pet stores are calling teacup pigs for the reason that there is no such thing as a teacup pig. It's just a baby pig and he's about to get a lot bigger. When one vet was asked about teacup pigs, she said, that's not a thing. People are getting disappointed when those adorable little piglets they thought would stay that way grow up to be the size of a top loading freezer.

[Negeen Farsad]

You know, I live in the east village of New York City and there was a guy who walked his pig around the neighborhood.

[Peter Sagal]

Of course there was.

[Negeen Farsad]

And I have in recent months, I have not seen that guy. And I wonder is that is the pet bacon now? You know what I mean? You gotta wonder.

[Peter Sagal]

You gotta do. Yeah, it's hunting season. If you really want like a little itty pig, just get a guinea pig with like alopecia.

[Luke Burbank]

You.

[Peter Sagal]

Bill, how did Eli do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Three correct answers prove that. Eli, you can do better than corporate law.

[Peter Sagal]

Eli, congratulations and thanks for calling.

[Sponsor Message Announcer]

Thank you. This message comes from Schwab. Everyone has moments when they could have done better. Same goes for where you invest. Level up and invest smarter with Schwab. Get market insights, education and human help when you need it.

[Negeen Farsad]

Support for NPR and the following message come from Goodrx. Tired of paying too much for prescriptions? Take control of your health and your budget with Goodrx. Goodrx lets you compare prescription prices at over 70,000 pharmacies and instantly find discounts up to 80%. Plus access telehealth and wellness tips all in one place. Goodrx is not insurance, but even if you have insurance or Medicare, Goodrx may beat your copay. Save time and money on prescriptions. Go to goodrx.com wait.

[Commercial Announcer]

This message comes from Ezcator, the workplace food platform. Ezcater helps organizations order food from favorite restaurants, meet dietary needs, and stay on budget with employee meal programs, flexible payment options, and 247 customer support all on one platform. Learn more at EasyCater.com now on to our final game.

[Peter Sagal]

Lightning. Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

[Bill Curtis]

Hari and Luke each have three. Negeen has two.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, so that means. That means Negeen, you are in second place. So you are up first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei's son was named the leading candidate to become Blank's next Supreme Leader.

[Negeen Farsad]

Iran.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. For the first time since her mom's disappearance, Blank returned to the Today Show.

[Negeen Farsad]

Savannah Guthrie.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, a woman in California filed suit against Meta, claiming that Blank is knowingly addictive.

[Negeen Farsad]

AI Social media.

[Peter Sagal]

Social media. Instagram. In this case. According to new data, the average Blank account grew by 11% in 2025.

[Negeen Farsad]

Bank account?

[Peter Sagal]

No. In this case, retirement account, or 401k. This week, customers of a supermarket in Australia have complained that the store's new AI Customer service chatbot will not stop

[Negeen Farsad]

Blanking flirting with them.

[Peter Sagal]

No, the chatbot will not stop complaining about its mother, which it does not have, because it is a chatbot. According to a new study, Blank medications may indeed help fight addictions.

[Negeen Farsad]

GLP1s right.

[Peter Sagal]

On Tuesday, a total lunar eclipse led to 2026's first blank moon.

[Negeen Farsad]

Red moon.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Or the blood moon. A man walking to work in Brazil was being attacked by two wild dogs when he was saved by Blank.

[Negeen Farsad]

A really nice wild dog.

[Peter Sagal]

No, he was saved by his phone, which exploded. One of the dogs tried to bite the man, but instead bit his phone, which was in his pocket. The phone exploded, scared off the dogs. It's amazing to think if this guy had a better phone, he. He could have been killed. People say there's no reason to get Boost Mobile. Bill, how did Negeen do on our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Coming from behind. She got five.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Right.

[Bill Curtis]

10 more points, total to 12. Puts her in the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, hurry. You're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, James Talarico won the closely watched Democratic primary for Senate in Blank, Texas. Right. Citing, oh, overwhelmingly negative public feedback. A meeting to approve Trump's renovations to the Blank was delayed. Ballroom.

[Bill Curtis]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

The White House. This week, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick agreed to testify before the congressional panel investigating the Blank files.

[Hari Kondabolu]

I've seen.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Following their feud with the White House AI Chatbot, Blank became the most popular iPhone app.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Anthropologic.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm going to give it to you. The company is Anthropic. Their product is Claude. Shoppers at an end in upstate New York made an incredibly rare find in the shelf. A Blank.

[Hari Kondabolu]

A Dead sea scroll.

[Peter Sagal]

No. A live sleeping owl just hanging out there. On Monday, Apple announced a new, cheaper version of the Blank iPhone. And the MacBook. Right. On Thursday, pop star Blank was arrested for driving under the influence.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Britney Spears.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Bill Curtis]

Oh, this.

[Peter Sagal]

This week, a man hoping to get better at chess created his own custom board that blanks him when he makes a wrong move. Shocks him. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Peter Sagal]

The creator of this electrified chessboard was tired of losing matches to the chess hustlers at Union Square in New York City. And after a year of shocking himself, we are thrilled to report that he's still losing to the chess hustlers in Union Square. It's not a total loss. Sure, he hasn't mastered chess after being shocked all those times, but at least he's no longer barking at strangers. Bill, how did Hari do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Seven. Right. 14 more points. Total of 17 puts him in the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, then, how many does Luke need to win?

[Bill Curtis]

7 to tie, 8 to win.

[Peter Sagal]

Here we go, Luke. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Senate rejected a resolution that would limit blank's war powers.

[Luke Burbank]

The president's right, Donald Trump.

[Peter Sagal]

On Tuesday, the White House announced a plan to help lower residential blank costs, mortgage costs, electricity costs. This time this week, Colorado declared their first blank outbreak of 2026 measles. Right. On Wednesday, a federal judge ruled that companies who paid for Trump's blanks are owed refunds tariffs. Right. According to a new article, tech firms around the country are trying to increase productivity by stocking offices with free blank cots. No tobacco. After receiving some complaints, a theatre in London putting on a kid friendly Peppa Pig show says they will no longer serve blank at their snack bar, Teacup Pigs. I'm going to give it to you. The answer is bacon.

[Hari Kondabolu]

All right.

[Peter Sagal]

In retrospect, yes, it was kind of weird that kids would watch a show about Peppa Pig and Mommy Pig and then go out in the lobby and eat cousin pig. But granted, of course, this wouldn't have been the first time kids were faced with this particular problem. Think of all those Little Arthur fans the first time they were served an aardvark sandwich. Bill, did Luke do well enough to win?

[Bill Curtis]

He did well. Four rights, eight more points. But his total of 11 falls. Tahari's 17.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, our panelists predict well after looks maxing, what'll be the next big Internet beauty trend? Wait, wait, Don't Tell Me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with the Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman. Benevolent overlord Philip Gaudicke writes our limericks. Our public address announcer was Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew always at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Normboss and Lillian King. Special thanks to Mohanad El Sheikhy, Monica Hickey and Travis Hagan. Our prank maxer is Peter Gwynn. Our visual host is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel one, what would be the next big Internet beauty trend?

[Negeen Farsad]

NEGIN farsad, Feet maxing bunions are cool, so you can now get them surgically added to your feet.

[Hari Kondabolu]

HARI kondabolu, Brain smashing. It's time to get rid of some excess brain cells.

[Luke Burbank]

Luke Burbank looks snacksing where I make a bunch of snacks and I look at the Internet to try to figure out what the hell people are doing to their faces.

[Bill Curtis]

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on Wait Wait, don't tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Nagin Farsad, Luke Burbank and Hari Kondabolu. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is npr.

[Commercial Announcer]

This message comes from Midi Health Co founders Joanna Strober and Dr. Kathleen Jordan discuss why they started a virtual care platform to empower and educate women in perimenopause and menopause. Historically, perimenopause and menopause have been very stigmatizing, so people haven't wanted to admit

[Negeen Farsad]

that they are in perimenopause and menopause as though it was like embarrassing, which is insane. It's just something happening to your body. So one of the things that we're trying to do is destigmatize these topics. Perimenopause and menopause are just women's health. So we try to educate women all the time.

[Commercial Announcer]

Maybe it's your hormones and we would

[Negeen Farsad]

like to help you. Yeah. And I find women actually want to talk about it. It's one of the things they always comment at MIDI is that they finally feel heard. One of the ways that women find miti is actually from other women and I think it's meaningful.

[Commercial Announcer]

Midi Health committed to helping women in midlife with perimenopause and menopause care accessible via telehealth [e-mail].