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Support for this podcast and the following message come from dignity memorial for many families remembering loved ones means honoring the details that made them unique dignity memorial is dedicated to professionalism and compassion in every detail of a life celebration find a provider near you at dignitymemorial dot com.
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From npr and wbec chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the npr news quiz i'm the voice so strong it can open that jar of pickles for you bill curtis and here is your host at the studebaker theater at the fine arts building in chicago illinois peter sagal thank you bill thanks.
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Everybody great to be with you we have a great show for you today but before we get to that we are so happy to be able to report this news this week our beautiful home of chicago illinois was named the number one big city by conde nast traveler magazine we're very proud and even more incredible and more flattering it was the same month that we were named the number one big city to invade by national guard illustrated mazel tov we're very proud later on we're going to be talking to the musician who has made bagpipes high hot again ally the piper but first we want to hear you play something so give us a call the number is one eight eight eight wait wait that's one eight eight eight nine two four eight nine two four let's welcome our first listener contestant hi you're in wait wait don't tell me hi i'm kimberly and i'm from.
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Charleston south carolina hey kimberly what do.
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You do there in charleston i am an accounting professor a professor of accounting that's correct right hey yeah hey thank you people are thrilled are more and more people interest the very useful field of accounting yeah i'd like to say.
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C
That the increase in enrollment is correlated with my employment at the university but there's probably other stuff too really so.
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A
It'S possible that people who might have had dreams of careers in say the arts are flocking to your university to study accounting because of your example yes.
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D
And accounting is an art if you have the right accountant.
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A
Fair fair y well done well kimberly welcome to our show let me introduce you to our panel this week first up a comedian who will be headlining the denver comedy works october thirtieth and november first and will be at the den theater here in chicago on november fifteenth it's hari kondabolu hello hello next she is a contributor to cbs sunday morning and host of the audible original podcast envy enlightened it's our friend faith hi professor kimberly and we are very excited that he is making his debut on our panel this week you can see him in the paper on peacock or see his one man show just for us recorded and available on hbo max it is alex edelman hi professor well kimberly welcome to the show you're going to play who's bill this time bill curtis is going to read you three quotations we found in this week's news if you can correctly identify or explain two of them you'll win our prize any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail are you ready to go yes your first quote kimberly is french president emmanuel macron we will recover the.
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B
Works and the perpetrators will be brought.
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To justice so which works have not been recovered and which perpetrators have not been brought to justice i think they're.
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D
Valuable jewels that used to be in.
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The loop yes the louvre heist le heist they say so by now you have heard about or perhaps you were lucky enough to be one of the thieves who stole priceless jewels from the louvre museum in broad daylight early this week the thieves if you haven't seen this it's amazing the thieves dressed as construction workers they used a ladder truck to get up to the right windows they cut through them grabbed the loot and ran it took less than seven minutes and they made off with one hundred million dollars worth of irreplaceable jewels they also took the mona lisa but they put it back after realizing it was a little underwhelming.
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E
On behalf of all the colonized countries whose gems were taking to make these jewels.
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A
Ahaha aha.
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F
I heard that it was a sixty second heist with a six minute cigarette.
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A
Break in the middle the union thing you know what they're like it's a.
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F
French thing yeah exactly well that's what.
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D
They were they seem so brazen like it feels so french and audacious because you say seven minutes like that's quick that's a long time for a heist at nine thirty in the morning i mean the louvre opens at nine there were tourists watching them wait i didn't.
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F
Know that it was open in a.
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D
Gallery oh in there were people watching watching them do this i would just.
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Love to be like i don't get.
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A
This performance art these french people it.
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F
Happens every tuesday at nine thirty in.
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A
The morning well what's funny is that you may be wondering well what about those museum guards we see them in museums why didn't they stop it well they were trained the guards at the louvre they have been trained that if something happens like say the noise of people smashing glass and breaking in their job is to get the visitors out of the way so they all ran in the other direction with the visitors and i guess nobody was hurt that's good but it's still a black eye that the thieves were able to pull off the heist complete the headphone audio tour of the whole museum and have a snack in the cafe before they made off with the lou kimberly your next quote is the president of the united states oh no when i hear.
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The sound of construction it reminds me.
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Of money president trump was enjoying the sound of construction where the white house east wing specifically yes the white house this week without any warning at all workers demolished the entire east wing of the white house in order to build the president's new enormous ballroom oh i see some people don't like fun fine but it is a little weird it's like okay you're torn down this historical structure you're going to build this enormous and it's just a of bunch ballroom i mean man get a lazy river in there are you dumb my guess.
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F
Is that the ballroom that goes up will be subtle and understated it will.
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Be no actually he was showing off these renderings and it is large and it is gilt and a lot of people look at those renderings and they say well that's just like it's going to be just like the ballroom at mar a lago but that's not true among many differences jeffrey epstein won't be hanging out at this you know this.
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Is a very controversial renovation it is and it's really the most controversial renovation since bill clinton asked for mirrors to be put on all the bedrooms here.
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A
By the way and i don't understand this he says it will have a capacity of nine hundred ninety nine people which is a weird number do you.
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D
Know what that number is what that's the number of ghosts in the haunted mansion in disney world oh my god it is when you go through they say we have nine hundred ninety nine but there's room for one more that's where he got it from.
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And jd vance is standing outside going you mean me and they're all like no sir no kimberly your last quote comes from this is actually from the documentation in a big legal indictment that dropped on.
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B
Thursday co defendants include big bruce pookie sugar albanian bruce the wrestler flappy and.
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A
Spanish g the fbi says that all those colorfully named people were part of a big illegal gambling ring involving what major sport oh basketball basketball yes basketball very good in the nba on thursday the fbi arrested thirty people in an alleged gambling ring that includes nba stars and four new york city mafia families which kind of explains why last season in addition to all the usual acl tears there were all these players out for three games because they somehow broke both their legs.
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E
Cash patel looked shocked when he delivered the news but he always kind of looks like that he does yeah i'm joking cash don't deport.
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My family.
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F
Please what are the nicknames that you're cause they sound like off.
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Brand looney tunes all those nicknames those were big bruce pookie sugar all those other ones albanian bruce those were all like mafia guys who were involved in the scheme right they were hanging around they were setting up the poker i.
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F
Like albanian bruce albanian it sounds like what melania does on vacation or something.
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B
Like that.
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Bill how did kimberly do.
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In our quiz she did great big kimberly.
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Yeah i'll go with that albanian kimberly the albanian kimberly kimberly thank you so much for playing congratulations thank you for having me bye bye thank you.
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G
Bye.
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Right now panel we have some questions for you about the week's news alex yes on monday amazon web services went down taking a lot of popular services around the world offline for a few hours but it also caused massive and even dangerous malfunctions in some people's what.
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F
Titanic submersibles i don't know oh.
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Yes all the people going down to the titanic and their private submersibles got in so much trouble no the alexas is it the alexas no not their alexas another kind of smart device in their home i'll give you a hint it's terrible among other things thousands of individual sleep numbers were revealed their mattresses close enough their beds yes owners of high end smart beds woke up on monday morning to find their mattresses trying to kill them what what you're lying so these you lie like a rug i'm not lying this is all true.
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D
Scooching them like a talking well like.
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A
On some of the beds these are like motorized heated beds that you control with your phone and on some of them the heating elements were turned all the way up to maximum on others were like suddenly moving and locking into the vertical position some of them it was both the heat and the vertical position turning the beds into massive toasters with you as the bread that cannot be real it is real that's the.
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F
Most horrific dystopian way to die it.
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Really is if you get to heaven.
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F
They'Re like how are you killed and he's like well i too much trust.
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In jeff bezos pretty much yeah and.
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My duvet strangled me tonight the devil's.
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In your bed so turn your head there's no regret tonight the devil's in your bed the devil's in your bed coming up our panelists pull an all nighter in our bluff the listener game called one eight eight wait wait to play we'll be back in a minute with more wait wait don't tell me.
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From npr this message comes from schwab everyone has moments when they could have done better same goes for where you invest level up and invest smarter with schwab get market insights education and human help when you need it support for this podcast and the following message come from start investing in a better future whether it's saving for today or building wealth for tomorrow betterment helps people and small businesses put their money to work by automating to make savings simpler optimizing to make investing smarter and building innovative technology backed by financial experts so be invested in yourself be invested in your business be invested in better with betterment at betterment dot com investing involves risk performance not guaranteed this message comes from npr sponsor one password protect your digital life with one password if you're tired of family members constantly texting you for the passwords to streaming services one password lets you securely share or remove access to logins access from any device anytime one password lets you securely switch between iphone android mac and pc with convenient features like autofill for quick sign ins right now get a free two week trial for you and your family at one password dot com npr.
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From npr and wbc chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the npr news quiz i'm bill curtis we are playing this week with faith seely alex edelman and hari kondabolu and here again your host at the studebaker theater in chicago illinois peter segal thank you bill thank you.
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All so much right now though it is time for the wait wait don't tell me bluff the listener game call one triple eight wait wait to play our game in the air how you are on wait wait don't tell me.
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Hi this is chandriette calling from crofton.
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Maryland hey chandriette what do you do there in crofton maryland i'm a lawyer for the federal government hang up hang up on her hang up sorry i'm sure you're lovely you were a lawyer for the federal government still employed okay so you're not too busy right now.
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F
No she just wrote a check for two hundred thirty million dollars earlier today.
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A
No that wasn't me that wasn't her that wasn't that wasn't her well welcome to the show chandriette you're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction bill.
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B
What is chandriette's topic i can't sleep.
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People lose sleep for all sorts of reasons as you might know anxiety too much coffee the constant hammering from the construction of your new ballroom this week we heard about somebody losing sleep for a surprising reason our panelists are going to tell you about it pick the real one and you'll win the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail are you ready to play yes all right first up let's hear from hari.
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E
Kondabolu several months ago sam terry of seattle woke up to a knocking sound coming from near his bedroom window he discovered a rare bernhard's woodpecker going ape on his house at eleven pm and continuing to do so until seven am why a woodpecker would have a night shift of pecking is unknown but it has kept mister terry awake for months i had tried everything to get rid of it i said shoo i said get like i said i tried everything out of desperation he put up a cardboard cutout of a hawk a woodpecker predator to scare away the bird the woodpecker instead has fallen in love with the hawk and now pecks in a more frenetic sexual way it's much worse says terry then he put up a bird feeder filled with seeds and peanuts to distract the woodpecker but that just seems to make it stronger i'd call this situation a nightmare except then i'd.
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Actually be asleep a man with a woodpecker who simply will not stop pecking your next story of somebody tossing and turning comes from faith sailing recently in.
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Murcia spain a woman named juana called the police to report something terrifying all night a recording of children singing happy birthday or complianos feliz had been emanating from the local school's pa system on a continuous loop at full volume and the adorable creepy voices were keeping the entire neighborhood awake the song blasted through the town for five hours which is four hours fifty nine minutes and thirty seconds longer than anyone wants to hear happy birthday juana finally phoned the police at four thirty am because she says she had a really bad headache i told them to call the mayor or whoever and the police officer who answered the phone started laughing she explains indeed a local firefighter named paco reports the call was treated as an emergency but it's true we were already laughing from the start when the party poopers i mean fire brigade arrived they said it was like walking into a pitch black birthday party until they shut that creep show down at least they got there before the kids voices could start chanting ses siete.
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A middle excuse me a school in spain broadcast a creepy version of happy birthday all night keeping the entire neighborhood awake your last story of a sleepless night comes from alex edelman.
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It was the latest salvo in a long running dispute between beverly miller and danica conkle both forty seven both of pauling new york and both the parents of teenage boys archer konkle had taken up first chair in the pauling central high kazoo orchestra practice took place in the conkel's garage post dinner and beverly miller who works the early shift at one of dutchess county's largest christmas ornament stores claimed it was preventing her from sleeping causing her to miss work and lose income out of spite the conkles solicited kazooists from all over upstate accruing the nation's third largest and one of its most in tune kazoo orchestras a return to small claims court seemed imminent but in the nick of time a video of the orchestra playing radioheads fake plastic trees mashed up with leonard cohen's hallelujah went semi viral and the sixty five strong honking battalion is now touring sizable venues all across the lower forty eight the neighbors have quashed their beef and the conkles can finally conk out.
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A
All right let me review your choices so somebody was kept up all night in the news was it from harikandabolu a guy whose war with a woodpecker who pecked all night ended up with him on the losing side from faith saley a neighborhood in spain where a school broadcast a creepy version of children singing happy birthday over and over and over and over all night or from alex edelman a complicated battle which ended up with the accidental creation of the most successful kazoo orchestra in america which of these was the real story of a loss of a good night's sleep i think because it's almost halloween which is also my mom's birthday i'm going.
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To go with the creepy singing children so i'm going with faith all right.
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You'Re going to choose faith story well this is interesting to bring you the real story this is what kept people awake cumberland that was just a tiny bit of the recording of couple's feliz in this case sung by parquis that played all night long in a town in spain congratulations chandriette you got it right faith was telling the truth you have won thank you so much this is a bucket list item so i appreciate it my pleasure thank you chandraet ya take care bye bye can't sleep still can't sleep and now the game we call not my job our guest today ally the piper was an award winning bagpiper before she started putting out tiktoks of her playing bagpipe covers of songs by bands like metallica and iron maiden and she won millions of fans including metallica and iron maiden she's been called the most famous piper in the world and she joins us now ally the piper welcome to wait wait don't.
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C
Tell me hi thank you so much.
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A
For having me hello it's so good.
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G
To see you.
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A
I mean you are not i think what anybody would expect when somebody says oh we're going to go meet a bagpiper most people associate bagpipes with elderly scottish men you were born in nineteen ninety five and you took up the bagpipes when you were quite young may i ask why.
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C
Fair enough it's actually a nice story i wanted to ruin my brother's life before he went to college my stepdad legally adopted me when i was twelve and i got a hyphenated last name which carried duncan with it that was my new one and i wanted to learn more about my family's heritage and the history i was adopted into and so i heard the bagpipes for the first time and i couldn't figure out how they worked just by looking at them i just became really obsessed with how they worked it was the first time i'd seen an instrument so unique it called to me if you will i.
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A
Was reading about the bagpipe and it seems like it's such a hard instrument to play that it takes months of practice when you start before you can even play a tune that's actually very.
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C
True i played for almost a year on a practice version of the instrument before i started playing the full loud bagpipe but that's why everybody thinks they sound so bad is because it's you know beginners at full volume all the.
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Time wow you know you walk around you just see so many people practicing the bagpipes at full volume yeah what.
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Did your neighbors say shut up.
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They.
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All moved no fortunately when you play indoors and just ruin your family's lives your neighbors can't hear you too much outside so i tried to do a lot of my practicing indoors and then i would just more so go outside when i had things polished to play.
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A
Outdoor and then you became and i love this you became part of and a champion in the youth competitive bagpipe circuit what a dark world it really is something and all i hear about like youth competitive the global youth competitive bagpipe circuit and all i want to know is what were the parties like.
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C
Well there actually weren't a lot of there was one competitive youth bagpipe band here in the united states and i was in it but we went over to scotland and there were the rest.
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Of them and do you when you compete do you yell things like we.
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Blow you suck.
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C
We had the t shirts we didn't yell that though you.
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A
Did oh my gosh i want to.
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F
See the dance mom equivalent of like a bagpipe parent like come on lady like you gotta i was just i.
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A
Was actually thinking like you're the american team the one american team you show up to do this competition with all these scottish teams this is like a great karate kid like movie right where the underdogs from america co op i hope did you kick their asses or whatever the bagpipe equivalent of ass kicking.
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C
Is we won the world championships hey.
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F
Usa usa usa.
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A
So but and that was great and quite impressive but you became famous your road to where you are now let's say started if i'm right during the pandemic when you started putting out videos on tiktok and elsewhere of you playing the bagpipes and they went immediately viral do you remember like the first one and what your reaction.
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C
Was yeah well it all happened by accident i had all of my gigs canceled because of COVID it happened to a lot of musicians and it was really dark time for a lot of people so i wanted to take to an app or an online platform where none of my friends were so that i could kind of post anonymously but have some kind of encouragement or you know people to encourage me to keep doing it so i posted on tiktok because none of my friends were there and it backfired immediately because i posted one video and that one video got one hundred fifty thousand views that day which means that my attempts at not.
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A
Being perceived you have you have utterly failed in remaining anonymous we will we will admit that you did not know that there was this thirst out there for good bagpiping.
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C
The people need what they need that's true.
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A
Now i don't know what the first song was but you became really well known for doing bagpipe covers or bagpipe versions of songs you would not associate with the bagpipe including like enter sandman by metallica is.
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C
That right yeah i became really really invested in transcribing guitar solos for the pipes sure the big thing so taking all of those big shreddy guitar solos that are just classic and we love them and either really really blowing people's minds or ruining these songs for people forever yes i posted a medley of a few of their songs because i'm a metallica fan too of course and i posted that on tiktok and kind of went about my day and then a hate comment came in and it said bagpipes do not belong in metallica james would not approve and this commenter emphasized his seriousness with an angry emoji.
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A
So i really oh well then i.
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C
Know he's passionate and so i left it alone and i let five minutes elapse and then metallica was there in the comments.
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A
I love it they offended.
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C
Me against the hate commenter they said that this guy doesn't speak for us they told me to keep doing what i'm doing and we chatted a little bit in the comments and then this commenter decided to go after them no.
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A
Seriously he turned on metallica no one.
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C
Guy versus metallica and he did not live to tell the tale no i.
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A
Was about to say well ali it is a pleasure to talk to you we have asked you here to play.
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B
A game we're calling bagpiper meet piping.
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A
Bag so you are a master of the bagpipes as we have discussed so we're going to ask you about people who use piping bags that is cake decorators answer three questions about unusual cakes who will win our prize for one of our listeners bill who is allie.
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B
The piper playing for drew manning of denver colorado all right you ready to.
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A
Do this ally i won't let you down drew okay first question the show cake box featured some amazingly realistic cakes over the years that it ran including which of these a a cake taylor swift that can sing four of her biggest hits b a cake toilet that actually flushed or c a street legal maserati sports car cake the flushy we're going with b it's the toilet yes of course it is the actual flushing cake toilet was made to celebrate the one hundredth anniversary of a local plumbing company all right that's very good here's your next question people often order custom cakes to send a message right like a louisiana woman who did what in twenty seventeen a instead of leaving her money to any of her children she just left them a cake saying eat it b she sent a cake to the cop she had tried to bite with the message sorry i tried to bite you or c she told her husband she wanted the divorce by smashing him in the face with their wedding cape which she had kept in the freezer for that purpose for twelve years.
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C
I'M gonna have to go with a.
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A
I'M afraid it was i'm sorry i tried to bite you and the woman had been she was a college student she had overserved at a wine tasting and she felt really bad about what she did when a police officer tried to arrest her for public intoxication all right here's your last question this is okay because if you get this right you will win sometimes people who order custom cakes give the baker a flash drive containing the image they want on the cake now uh oh that method doesn't always work like when which of these actually happened a the baker just drew a frosting picture of the flash drive on the cake b the baker took a photograph of the flash drive and printed that onto the cake or c the baker decorated the cake with the words happy birthday the picture is on the flash drive.
- [30:17]
C
Oh god they're all really good all right let's go with c this one's for drew that's.
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A
Right but in fact all of them were all of those happened when people made the mistake of trying to give the baker what they wanted on a flash drive i do not recommend that bill how did ally the piper do.
- [30:36]
B
On our quiz ally when you get two out of three you have won so you are now our favorite piper.
- [30:42]
A
Congratulations ally the piper's new album the session is out now and you can see her on tour starting in just a little while more information is at piperali dot com alli the piper thank you so much for joining us i'm wait wait don't tell me give it up for ally the piper right there just a minute we moonwalk through our listener limerick challenge call one triple eight wait wait to join us in the air we'll be back in a minute with more of wait wait don't tell me from npr.
- [31:18]
H
This message comes from npr sponsor linkedin sales navigator finding the right leads can feel like an endless search for sellers what if you could get to the right conversations faster from finding new leads to strengthening existing relationships linkedin sales navigator is your strategic ai powered partner it cuts through the noise with real time data and insights backed by linkedin's network of over one billion professionals try it free for sixty days at linkedin dot com waitwait that's linkedin dot com waitwait terms and conditions apply.
- [31:54]
A
This message comes from npr sponsor viking committed to exploring the world in comfort journey through the heart of on an elegant viking longship with thoughtful service destination focused dining and cultural enrichment on board and onshore and every viking voyage is all inclusive with no children and no casinos discover more at viking dot com.
- [32:19]
B
From npr on wbez chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the npr news quiz i'm bill curtis we're playing this week with with alex edelman hari kondabolu and faith seeley and here again is your host at the studebaker theatre in chicago illinois peter sagal.
- [32:42]
A
Thank you bill thanks everybody in just a minute the game ranked the irishest part of our show for the two hundredth week running the listener limerick challenge if you'd like to play give us a call at one eight eight wait wait that's one eight eight eight nine two four eight nine two four right now panel though some more questions for you from the week's news faith get your stopwatch ready because according to a new survey most people can only do what for about three hours.
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D
Listen to their middle schooler listen to hamilton i need a.
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A
Hint i'll give you this is why people generally do the irish goodbye around two hours fifty minutes just socialize yes people can hang out with other people for generally speaking a maximum of three hours before they can't do it anymore.
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D
That sounds about right you think about.
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A
It you're like yeah even a good party you're enjoying it you're having a lovely time about three hours you're like i gotta go home and then there's.
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D
Always that one person who stays late when you invited people over and you're like sorry colin i gotta unplug you.
- [33:47]
A
So alex you seem to be indicating that that person it's me it's you okay it's me so you're the guy who is at the party and everybody else leaves and you're hanging out there and you're like yeah so anyway so aren't you but are you not aware because you seem to be no i'm.
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F
Aware but i but for me the party starts when people are upset that.
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A
I'M there that's when the fun starts.
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F
Happening yeah absolutely there was a party i was at for two weeks it.
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A
Was amazing absolutely fantastic wow the study was conducted by the dating app hinge and they asked ten thousand people for what they thought about socializing all these questions and the author suggests that what people need to do is find your own social sweet spot and that helps you decide when it's time to leave right so you just think about it for yourself if you need external clues i'd say it's probably whenever the conversation at the gathering turns to tv shows nothing tells you it's time to go home like hearing yeah it's called the diplomat it's on netflix you always want.
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D
To leave him wanting more exactly hari.
- [34:48]
A
The catholic church of kenya had to find a new brand of wine to use for communions at masses after a problem developed with the previous wine it was using what was that problem it was too good exactly what maria right it was too good people liked it too much the catholic church of kenya made the change after discovering that their official communion wine had become very popular in bars and restaurants right and they were like we can't have that but didn't jesus excuse me jesus didn't jesus brought in slip broy didn't slip jesus was what his name was before he changed it to assimilate.
- [35:33]
F
It was jonathan.
- [35:34]
A
Leibovitz but now it's exactly but jesus i thought wanted people to enjoy communion he said this is my body and this is my blood which pairs wonderfully with my body.
- [35:50]
E
So people are just drinking jesus blood all over the place.
- [35:52]
A
All the time the church realized it was getting to be a problem when people would line up for communion they're all in line they're in church at mass and some people would turn and look at all the people behind them and say hey hey should we just get a bottle hari officials in a town in the uk are asking people to please avoid swimming in their local river as it is currently well what.
- [36:17]
E
It is filled with poisonous fish no.
- [36:25]
A
I'Ll give you a hint think of getting like a perfectly made cappuccino it's filled with coffee no the top of it the top of the river is covered with foam yes it is covered in thick foam what the bbc described as a large stretch of thick white foam appeared this week on the river thet in norwich and england but does.
- [36:46]
D
It have a design of like a maple leaf no that would be really.
- [36:48]
A
Cool or a heart the river was completely covered with this opaque foamy coating that looks really just like a a bubble bath in a pg thirteen movie right so officials told the locals do not swim in the river and don't drink the river water either why did they have to say that were they constantly being approached by residents holding spoons saying can i try the foam yet.
- [37:15]
F
I do envision the meeting where they're like no one can drink the river water and everyone's got like foam mustaches.
- [37:21]
A
And they're like i was gonna drink.
- [37:23]
F
I wasn't gonna drink i go on.
- [37:26]
A
A tank myself today if it kills.
- [37:30]
H
Me.
- [37:35]
A
Coming up it's lightning fill in the blank but first it's a game where you have to listen for the rhyme if you'd like to play on air call or leave a message at one eight eight wait wait that's one eight eight eight nine two four eight nine two four you can see us most weeks at the studebaker theater in downtown chicago or catch us in the road we will be in costa mesa california on november sixth and on friday november seventh the very next night you can catch our stand up show the comedy grab bag at dynasty typewriter in los angeles also slade will be hosting and joined by some of our panelists and friends there will even be some games and prizes for you real prizes for once tickets and info about all our shows are at nprpresents dot org hi erwin wait wait don't tell me hi this is beth from saint louis missouri oh i love saint louis what.
- [38:18]
D
Do you do there i am a.
- [38:19]
A
Veterinary technologist a veterinary technologist do you enjoy that work do you have pets.
- [38:25]
D
Yourselves yes i tend to bring work.
- [38:27]
A
Home with me quite frequently i have three dogs and two cats and a.
- [38:30]
D
Husband.
- [38:32]
A
In that order beth welcome to the show bill curtis right here is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each if you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks will be a winner you ready to go i'll do my best okay here's your first.
- [38:46]
B
Limerick around hot people i do not blush and my insides don't turn into mush i've lost the sensation of infatuation it's years since i last had a.
- [39:01]
A
Crush yes crush right exactly well done according to newsweek young people quote can't remember the last last time they had a crush with one person saying quote i don't even have celebrity crushes anymore sad it's because everybody's saying too much about themselves on social media we know too much about them oh he's so hot but no what's this he's actually trying to get measles we should clarify that having a crush is different than having feelings for someone feelings imply a future with that person and real life consequences a crush is is just the reason you keep going back to that one coffee shop just to hear him say one vanilla frappuccino for peter.
- [39:48]
F
I.
- [39:48]
E
Just thought losing crushes is just a natural part of life as you become number as you get older well i.
- [39:54]
A
Was wondering about this because i'm pretty old and i'm pretty married so i don't think i have crushes anymore but.
- [39:59]
D
You have platonic crushes though as you get old you can just really find yourself super attracted to someone who's you could just be like oh my gosh you're fantastic i just discovered you i.
- [40:12]
E
Don'T know if that's a crush is.
- [40:13]
A
That a crush i don't know what do you think it is i just.
- [40:15]
E
Think i don't know like a crush always feels like it's more intense you can't get your mind off the person.
- [40:21]
A
You feel you go out of your.
- [40:23]
E
Way to see them see them you put poetry in the in all the margins of your math notebooks and she never sees you and she never sees you and it doesn't make sense because you gave her flowers and there was no reason to give her flowers but it just felt appropriate at the time and all you do is.
- [40:46]
A
That'S i.
- [40:47]
E
Just don't.
- [40:50]
A
All you do is want.
- [40:51]
E
To love her you know what i.
- [40:53]
A
Mean peter yeah yeah all right here.
- [40:57]
B
Is your next limerick this old outhouse we once used so well now has two bedroom suites with no smell our underground rooms don't release any fumes it's.
- [41:10]
A
A luxury boutique hotel hotel yes how about that the nettie the nettie is a posh boutique hotel in oxford in the uk that was once a public restroom it's for anyone who's used a public toilet that's had the thought i wish i could put my toothbrush somewhere down around here the hotel looks really nice on the website it looks amazing and they got all the modern amenities and then there are only two suites they only take two rooms out of it so basically if you go to this place that used to be a public restroom you can check into number one or number two beth here is.
- [41:53]
B
Your last limerick as the racers who went round the track heard it's not dumb it's a new workout hack nerd i break forward's curse shift my legs in reverse i get stronger by just.
- [42:09]
A
Walking backwards backwards yes backwards walking and running is the new health trend exercise experts say backwards walking increases hamstring flexibility and stimulates underused muscles while backwards experts say muscles underused stimulates and flexibility hamstring bill how did beth do in our.
- [42:33]
B
Quiz she ripped him right down the middle good going beth thanks bye bye.
- [42:38]
A
Bye bye.
- [42:46]
H
Support for this podcast and the following message come from ameriprise financial chief economist russell price shares how market research can help investors our research is.
- [42:56]
A
Focused on explaining economic or financial market behavior so that the investor feels more confident with a well designed investment portfolio and personalized financial advice for more information.
- [43:08]
H
And important disclosures visit ameriprise dot com advice ameriprise financial cannot guarantee future financial results securities offered by ameriprise financial services llc member finra and sipc support for.
- [43:22]
G
Npr and the following message come from goodrx goodrx can keep your family protected this cold and flu season with discounts on flu shots and if you do get sick goodrx offers savings on cold and flu meds compare prescription prices and instantly find discounts of up to eighty percent goodrx is not insurance but works with or without it and could beat your copay price to save on flu shots plus everyday medications go to goodrx dot com wait now on to our.
- [43:49]
A
Final game lightning fill in the blank each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can each correct answer now worth two points bill can you give us the.
- [43:58]
B
Scores ari and faith each have three alex has two all right alex you're.
- [44:02]
A
In second place so you're up first the clock will start when they begin your first question fill in the blank on wednesday the white house announced new sanctions against two of blank's largest oil companies russia yes this week israel's parliament voted in favor of annexing the blank west bank right on tuesday japan elected the first female blank in their countries as astronaut prime minister prime minister yes saying quote america needs us the original founders of blank vowed to bring that company back from bankruptcy indian motorcycles no hooters starting november first blank athletes will be allowed to bet on professional sports esports no college athletes this week a woman in china went viral after security footage caught her blanking after doing sit ups at the gym farting no falling asleep for three hours so security footage caught the woman she comes in she sits down on the mat she does a few sit ups then she curls up in the mat and immediately falls asleep other people enter and leave and this is totally true at one point a gym employee comes over and puts another mat on top of her like a blankie aw the woman says it was an accident but i have my doubts especially because the video shows her pulling out a stuffed animal and telling it to spot her bill how did alex do in our quiz not great.
- [45:25]
B
You got three right that's six more points you have a total now of eight and you're in the lead all right.
- [45:35]
A
Let'S arbitrarily choose hurry to go next you're up fill in the blank on thursday a judge extended the block on blank troops being deployed in chicago.
- [45:47]
E
Us military i'll give it to you.
- [45:48]
A
National guard on tuesday president trump said he might seek two hundred thirty million dollars from the blank for their past investigations into him pentagon no actually the justice department on thursday king charles met with blank at the vatican the pope this week a woman in south korea accidentally set her apartment building on fire when she blanked when she.
- [46:09]
E
Left her.
- [46:09]
A
Stove on for two hours when she tried to kill a cockroach with a blowtorch on tuesday new delhi was named the city with the world's worst blank quality air quality right on thursday musicians and actors reached a deal with producers to avoid a strike on blank tv no on broadway this week lay's potato chips announced a massive rebranding after it was revealed that forty two percent of consumers did not know blank what was in them exactly right they did not know that potato chips were made from potatoes what lay's announced a branding overhaul in addition to removing all artificial dyes and flavors they're updating their bags to include big pictures of a potato following suit doritos announced that their new bags will feature a bunch of question marks and the words your guess is as good as ours bill how did how are you doing our quiz well he.
- [46:57]
B
Got four rights eight more points total of eleven puts him in all right all right okay.
- [47:08]
A
All right how many then does faith need to win four.
- [47:11]
B
To tie five to win all right.
- [47:14]
A
Here we go faith this is for the game on wednesday zoran mandani curtis sliwa and andrew cuomo faced off in the final debate for mayor of blank new york city right on tuesday a russian attack left parts of blank without power ukraine right this week the us conducted two more strikes against against two more blanks alleged to be carrying drugs boats right according to new data new cases of blank flu have affected over seven million animals oh bird flu right this week a heavily used mountain pass near telluride colorado was blocked by a stuck blank moose no a stuck kia telluride on tuesday officials in iceland noted the the first confirmed sighting of blanks in the wild on that island mosquitoes yes on thursday meta announced it was cutting six hundred jobs from its blank division facebook ai this week a new program was introduced in china that would require people to watch an ad before they could get blank.
- [48:16]
D
Get married no.
- [48:19]
A
Before they could get toilet paper in a public restaurant the new program which is in early stages installs dispensers with qr codes into public restrooms and before you can get any toilet paper out of them you have to scan the code and watch an ad even worse every ad features those bears that are obsessed with talking about how clean their.
- [48:39]
B
Butts are.
- [48:41]
A
Bill did faith do well.
- [48:43]
B
Enough to win she got five rights it gives her ten more points thirteen square.
- [48:56]
A
In just a minute we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the next great exciting heist but first let me tell you that wait wait don't tell me is a production of npr and wbez chicago in association with urgent haircut productions doug berman benevolent overlord philip gaeda writes our limericks our public address announces announcer is paul friedman our tour manager is shana donald thanks to the staff and crew at the studebaker theatre here in chicago bj lederman composed our theme our program is produced by jennifer mills miles dornboss and lillian king special thanks this week to vinnie thomas and monica hickey peter gwynn is our cake boss emma choi is our visual host technical direction is from lorna white her cfo is colin miller our production manager is robert newhouse our senior producer is ian chillock and the executive producer of wait wait don't tell me is mike now panel what will be the next big heist that will capture our imaginations hari kondabolu an andy.
- [49:46]
E
Warhol painting of a campbell soup can will be stolen and replaced by a painting of a progresso soup can.
- [49:54]
A
Faith.
- [49:55]
D
Saleh trump is gonna steal pete hegsest's hair oil for the new east wing ballroom slip n slide.
- [50:05]
A
And alex edelman.
- [50:07]
F
Someone is gonna have to steal the bill of rights to see if we can get one or two of the things in there back ooh well the.
- [50:15]
B
Penny of that happens panel we're gonna ask you about it on wait wait.
- [50:19]
A
Don'T tell me thank you bill curtis thanks also to harry kondavoulu faith saley congratulations to alex edelman on a great debut in our show thanks to our fabulous audience here at the studebaker theatre in the beautiful and pleasant city of chicago illinois thanks to you all for listening wherever you might be i'm peter singel we'll see you next week this.
- [50:46]
H
Is npr this message comes from mint mobile at mint mobile their favorite word is no no contracts no monthly bills no hidden fees plans start at dollar fifteen a month month make the switch at mintmobile dot com switch that's mintmobile dot com switch upfront payment of forty five dollars for three month five gb plan required equivalent to fifteen dollars a month new customer offer for first three months only then full price plan options available taxes and fees extra see mint mobile for details this message comes from mint mobile at mint mobile their favorite word is no no contracts no monthly bills no hidden fees plans start at dollar fifteen a month make the switch at mintmobile dot com switch that's mintmobile dot com switch upfront payment of forty five dollars for three month five gb plan required equivalent to fifteen dollars a month new customer offer for first three months only then full price plan options available taxes and fees extra see mint mobile for details.