WWDTM: Andy Richter

Summary

Podcast Summary: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! – Andy Richter (Dec 6, 2025)

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of NPR’s Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, host Peter Sagal brings the show to Phoenix, Arizona, with guest announcer Alzo Slade, the return of beloved comedian Andy Richter, and panelists Shantira Jackson, Luke Burbank, and Alonzo Bodden. The episode blends sharp humor with news quizzes, cultural commentary, and a candid interview with Andy Richter about his memorable stint on "Dancing with the Stars." The show delivers its signature blend of current events, irreverent takes, and playful competition.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening and Contestant Quiz ([02:03]–[13:12])

• Cold vs. Warm Climates:
  The panel jokes about the frigid temperatures in Chicago (4°F) compared to sunny Phoenix, setting the playful, bantering tone of the show.

• Interview with Contestant Liz (Chicago):
  Liz faces the "Who's Alzo This Time?" quiz, answering questions pulled from recent news stories with panelists riffing after each.

  • Dress Code for Air Travel ([04:03]–[06:11])

    • Sean Duffy urges Americans to upgrade airplane attire, blaming sloppy clothes for bad travel behavior.
    • Alonzo: "I can't fight in a tuxedo. You get on a plane, you gotta be ready for action." ([05:03])
    • Jokes about the “golden age of air travel” and how improbable dressing-up on budget airlines would be.

  • Billionaires and Blocking the Sun ([06:14]–[08:53])

    • Panel discusses solar geoengineering (blocking sun rays to fight climate change), funded by Bill Gates and likened to Bond villainy.
    • Peter: "All we have to do to save our only planet is like build windmills and bicycle more. And we're all like, nah, let’s kill the sun." ([07:29])
    • Panel jokes about how soon sunlight itself might be available by subscription.

  • Autotune in Karaoke ([08:58]–[11:21])

    • New upscale karaoke bars adding autotune.
    • Luke: "Here's what I want to hear: 'Just a small town girl...' and then cut to 'Don’t stop believin’' and then get off the stage." ([10:28])
    • Panel riffs on luxury karaoke and the “dangers” of editing songs.

• Liz is congratulated for a perfect quiz score. ([11:23])

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Panelist News Quiz Highlights ([11:47]–[13:12])

• Trump Dozes Off ([11:47]–[12:45])
  • President Trump falls asleep during a meeting while criticizing the media for saying he looks tired.
  • Peter: “No disrespect, but the man looks like, what if a CPAP machine came to life?” ([12:03])

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Bluff the Listener Game ([15:19]–[21:41])

• Contestant Nick (Los Alamos):

  • Reveals his job in nuclear non-proliferation, prompting jokes about hiding launch codes.

  • The topic: "I Object"—news of courtroom chaos.

    • Story Options:
      • Shantira: Judge in Missouri ousted for excessive Elvis Presley references.
      • Alonzo: Little League umpire called out in court for blown calls.
      • Luke: Canine bailiff Rudy involved in a bribery scandal (given treats to intimidate witnesses).

• Answer & Reveal:
  Nick picks Shantira’s Elvis judge story and wins. Authenticity confirmed by a real legal expert. ([21:12])

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Andy Richter Interview: “Not My Job” ([21:52]–[32:18])

• Dancing with the Stars Experience ([22:18]–[29:19])

  • Andy discusses his unexpected, initially reluctant participation:
    • “No, quite the opposite [never wanted to do it]…and then I didn’t work very much for a little while and it seemed to kind of a good idea.” ([22:41])
    • His preparation, learning with Emma Slater, and TikTok training.
    • “I was lucky enough to get Emma Slater, who is an angel and really an amazingly talented person, an amazing choreographer.” ([24:34])
    • Admits to awkwardness and jokes about his lackluster dancing:
      • “You make it sound like...I mean, you weren’t entirely—yeah, I moved from one point to the other, and there was footwork that I had to remember.” ([26:28])
      • “I was a rhino in a gazelle contest. I’m never gonna be a gazelle.” ([28:39])
  • The charm, he jokes, may be in his expressive reactions as his partner performs.
  • Ends on a modest note, but celebrates growth:
    • “By the end...with each new week’s dance, I would learn it in one rehearsal...” ([27:40])

• “Not My Job” Quiz: All About Gene Kelly ([29:19]–[31:49])

  • Andy aces the quiz, aided by panel banter.
    • Notable fact: Gene Kelly’s pants were intentionally tight to accentuate his behind. ([30:05])
  • Panel has fun with anecdotes about Hollywood parties and charades.

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News & Culture Roundup: Panel Questions ([34:15]–[39:02])

• Paperwork Parties ([34:40]):

  • New trend: “admin nights” where friends gather to do paperwork together.
  • Luke: “I think that’s called the office.” ([35:54])

• Bacon and Babies ([36:12]):

  • Study suggests that a mother-smelling bacon during pregnancy leads to obesity in offspring.
  • Shantira: “Do not take bacon away from pregnant women. They need it.” ([37:16])

• Japanese Human Washing Machine ([37:44]):

  • New spa appliance in Japan allegedly cleans you in 15 min with micro-bubbles.

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Listener Limerick Challenge ([39:31]–[44:08])

• Stressful Houseplants ([40:03]):

  • Too many houseplants elevate stress.
  • Peter: “If you’re seeing plants everywhere you look...you realize you blacked out and woke up naked in the woods.” ([40:54])

• Lion Roar Accents ([41:16]):

  • Lions from different regions roar with different accents.

• Ugly Dogs Trending ([42:10]):

  • Increasing popularity of so-called “ugly dogs”; referenced as “pop-eyed goblins” and “dogs that got left in the microwave.”
  • Shantira: “I feel like a cat wrote this.” ([43:17])

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Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank ([45:54]–[51:16])

• Fast-paced news roundup, with panelists racing against the clock.
• Memorable joke:
  • On a Namibian politician changing his unfortunate birth name:
    • Peter: “…he is excited to run for re-election under his new legal name, Adolf Hitler Williams.” ([47:36])

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Spotify Wrapped & Show Close ([52:06]–[52:52])

• Panelists predict hot songs for next year’s Spotify Wrapped:

  • Shantira: “Anything Beyoncé. Daniel, please give us Act 3.” ([52:06])
  • Luke: “For some reason, ‘Hit the Road, Jack.’” ([52:10])
  • Alonzo: “I don’t know what it is, but the conservatives will not approve of the song.” ([52:16])

• Peter Sagal thanks panelists, guest Andy Richter, the Phoenix audience, and closes with trademark gratitude and warmth.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I can’t fight in a tuxedo. You get on a plane, you gotta be ready for action.” – Alonzo Bowden ([05:03])
• “All we have to do to save our only planet is like build windmills and bicycle more. And we’re all like, nah, let’s kill the sun.” – Peter Sagal ([07:29])
• “I was a rhino in a gazelle contest. I’m never gonna be a gazelle.” – Andy Richter on Dancing with the Stars ([28:39])
• “I think that’s called the office.” – Luke Burbank on paperwork parties ([35:54])
• “No disrespect, but the man looks like, what if a CPAP machine came to life?” – Peter Sagal on President Trump falling asleep ([12:03])
• “I feel like a cat wrote this.” – Shantira Jackson on ugly dog trend ([43:17])

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Key Timestamps

• 02:03 – Show proper begins, opening banter and panel introductions
• 04:03 – “Who’s Alzo This Time?” quiz news stories
• 11:47 – Panelist lightning round begins
• 15:19 – Bluff the Listener game
• 21:52 – Andy Richter “Not My Job” interview
• 34:40 – Panel tackles “paperwork party” trend
• 39:31 – Listener limerick challenge
• 45:54 – Lightning fill-in-the-blank round
• 52:06 – Predictions for next year’s Spotify Wrapped

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Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, clever, and packed with good-natured teasing and topical satire. The tone is conversational, with the panel and guest Andy Richter excelling at off-the-cuff wit, culturally aware jokes, and warmth. All the humor rides the line between absurdity and sharply observed social commentary—a hallmark of Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me!

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For anyone new to the show or this episode, expect laugh-out-loud moments, surprising news stories, and Andy Richter’s charming, self-deprecating reflection on reality TV fame.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Support for this podcast and the following message come from the University of Kansas Health System, where even the smallest acts transform lives. Every moment, every life uplifted makes them who they are. Learn [e-mail] hey, it's Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

A quick word before we get to the show. Now, all week you may have been hearing appeals around giving Tuesday, you know, that day of generosity where people get to feel good about themselves. Well, maybe last, but I hope not. Here's another one from me because as of October 1st, NPR is now operating without any federal support for the first time in our more than 50 year history. So, yeah, it's a big challenge, but it's one we can take on together. Listeners have already been stepping up to donate, like Mary from Minnesota who says, I love listening to Wait, Wait, don't tell me to help me calm down. From all the news I hear during the week, Mary, we make the show for the same reason. Or Maria from Washington state who says, Wait, wait, don't tell me is my life force.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Ooh.

[Peter Sagal]

So you know, you can be like Mary and Maria and help keep the NPR life force going. You can do that by signing up for npr. It's a simple recurring donation that gets you perks to NPR's podcasts and bonus episodes like our exclusive quiz game for Wait, Wait plus listeners. Now, if you've already joined, thank you. Thank you so much. If not, go to plus.NPR.org thanks again for your support. Now onto the life force that is our show.

[Alzo Slade]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, don't TELL me, the NPR News quiz. Hey there, Arizona. I'm Alzo Slade filling in for Bill Curtis, who is somewhere in the desert on a vision quest. And here's your host at the Arizona Financial Theater in Phoenix, Arizona, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Alzo. Thank you, everybody.

Thank you, Phoenix. It is so wonderful to be back here. Now, you know how they say you should dance as if no one is watching? Andy Richter just danced while everyone in the world was watching him on Dancing with the Stars. Later on, we're going to ask him about becoming, as one judge put it, the people's princess. Right. Now it's your turn to compete. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on. Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Hey there.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

This is Liz calling from Chicago, Illinois.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, Liz, how are things back in Chicago it's very cold.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Peter, I'm jealous that you're in sunny Phoenix, Arizona.

[Peter Sagal]

Let's back up a little bit. How cold is it there?

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

It's like four degrees, I think.

[Peter Sagal]

Four degrees.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Wow.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

These people in Arizona. I didn't even know that was possible.

Well, Liz, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to this week's panel. First up, she's a writer and a comedian who most recently wrote for Clean Slate. It's available on Amazon. It's Shantira Jackson.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Hi, Liz.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, Shantira.

Next, he is the host of the long running daily podcast TBTL as well as the public radio variety show Livewire, which will be live at Revolution hall in Portland, Oregon on December 11th. It's Luke Burbank. Hey there, Liz. Hey, Luke. And finally, a comedian you can see December 10th and 11th at Dead Crow Comedy in Wilmington, North Carolina. Or a New Year's Eve at Goodnights Comedy Club in Raleigh, North Carolina. It's Alonzo Bowden.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Hello, Liz.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, Alonzo. So, Liz, welcome to the show. You're going to play who's Alzo this time? Alzo Slade. Filling in for Bill Curtis is to going read you three quotations from this week's news. You expected that if you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. The voice of anyone you might choose in your voicemail. Liz, are you ready to do this? Let's do it. Okay. Your first quote is the Secretary of Transportation, Sean Duffy.

[Alzo Slade]

This week, let's try not to wear slippers and pajamas.

[Peter Sagal]

With holiday travel coming up, Duffy was telling Americans to stop dressing like slobs. While they do what?

[Andy Richter]

While they fly.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. On airplanes. Sean Duffy, in charge of improving our transportation system, says Americans need to start dressing better on airplanes. This sucks. My only fancy shoes are made of bombs.

So Duffy apparently blames this epidemic of terrible behavior we've been seeing on planes on people's sloppy clothes. He is calling for a return to the golden age of air travel where people dressed up. You could smoke on the plane next to any pregnant lady you liked. And your plane had a one in three chance of being hijacked to Cuba.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Which, by the way, might be an upgrade right now.

[Peter Sagal]

It's true.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

I don't know if he's flown lately, but I can't fight in a tuxedo.

You get on a plane, you gotta be ready for action.

[Peter Sagal]

That's terrible. I was ready to go at you. You're like, wait, I gotta take the studs out of my sleeves.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Exactly. You don't know what's going on on the plane. Like, if you on Spirit and you're not ready for action.

Then that's your own fault, you know. Well, he got the suit to bury him in. He's wearing it right now. You know, it's dangerous up here. People are reclining their seat well over three inches.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Well, all I know is that my nicest clothes are my biggest skin clothes, really. So it's like if you got a big dress on, you got a nice suit on. It's like a lot of clothes. And I don't know if you've been on the plane lately, but my nicest clothes, I'm not going to fit. I'm not going to be able to sit down on Southwest if I got on a nice dress.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

You don't want. You don't want your nicest clothes dredged through Biscoff cookie crumbs.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

I think. I think if five guys get on a plane in suits, everyone's going to be nervous.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

That's true.

[Peter Sagal]

That's also true.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

What's going. What's going on? Who are they transporting? What's about to happen?

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here is your next quote.

[Alzo Slade]

They want to block out the sun. What could go wrong?

[Peter Sagal]

That was the headline of the Washington Post about the growing movement to block out the sun. To actually block the sun in order to slow what?

Global warming. Global warming. Climate change. That's right. You can applaud not for global warming, but because she got it right.

A number of billionaires, including Bill Gates, are funding research and projects to block out the sun, a plan endorsed by climate scientists and mad scientists. And speaking as someone who has never seen a single movie, this sounds like a great idea.

The technology is called solar geoengineering, and it works by injecting reflective particles, particles high into the atmosphere, which sends, if it works, the sun's rays towards other planets. So it's your problem now, Venus.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Are you sure it's not like a giant umbrella that comes out of the top of an island shaped like a human skull where Jeff Bezos lives in the eye socket? Because I feel like that's the movie version of this.

[Peter Sagal]

We're just being ruled by Bond villains. I mean, it's amazing. We humans, we are astounding creatures. All we have to do to save our only planet is like build windmills and bicycle more. And we're all like, nah, let's kill the sun.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Well, as someone who lived in LA for 40 years, from 80 to 2024, and I was there when we had Particles blocking out the sun. Yeah, didn't work too well. No, you inhale those particles, and there was a lot of involved. I'm scared of any plan that Marjorie Taylor Greene would say that makes sense.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, exactly.

Bill Gates. By the way, one of the reasons this is in the news is Bill Gates has come out as someone who is trying to fund these particular scientific efforts to block the sun after failing in his plan to block the Eckstein files.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

So I wonder what their plan is. What are you going to have to pay for sunlight? Because, you know, that's like, they'll block out the sun and, like, oh, you want a sunny weekend? Well, that's gonna cost you some money.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

You don't know. It's gonna have to be a subscription deal.

[Andy Richter]

You don't have.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

You don't have the premium plan.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

You don't keep your sunlight out.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

I'm sorry.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

I will be honest. I don't think that white people are gonna pay for more sun.

[Peter Sagal]

No.

I might pay for some sun.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

But I don't think they're gonna pay for sun.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Jen, here is your last quote. It is from the owner of a new karaoke bar.

[Alzo Slade]

It's like an Instagram filter for your voice.

[Peter Sagal]

She was talking about what technology that is now being added to the karaoke experience. Is that going to be auto tune? It is going to be auto tune. According to the New York Times, karaoke is going upscale with nicer spaces and lounges. And yes, many of them will provide auto tune for your singing. Come on. We already have technology to make anybody good at karaoke. It's called drinking Five Coors Lights.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

What's gonna happen to T Pain?

[Peter Sagal]

That's a good question.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Oh, buddy, they're gonna take his whole thing.

[Peter Sagal]

People are gonna be doing his greatest hits in karaoke. It's great.

[Alzo Slade]

No, the real question is, what's gonna happen to J. Lo?

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Oh, don't worry, Alzo. JLO will be all right. Nobody was listening to JLo. All right? No, I. Peter, as someone who agrees with the description of karaoke as the Japanese revenge for World War II.

I have no desire to hear people who can't sing sing. Like. Like, there are so many people who can sing. I'm going to go ahead and listen to them.

[Peter Sagal]

You think?

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Peter, I love you. You're a great guy. You're brilliant. I don't want to hear you sing.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

I do.

[Peter Sagal]

No, you don't.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

I think everyone here does. Yes. I think the billion dollar idea with karaoke is not even an autotune it's in editing the song. So it's just the good part.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Here's what I want to hear. Just a small town girl living in a lonely world. And then cut to the don't stop believin' and then get off the stage.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

I don't need all the in between stuff. I had no idea how much in between stuff there was in songs until they invented karaoke. Someone needs to edit the songs into just being like two minutes.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Luke, that in between stuff, they call those lyrics. There's a word for that.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

I'm not a trained musician. This is the first time hearing of.

[Peter Sagal]

This, by the way. Like, this is part of an entire movement to make karaoke more upscale.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Peter Sagal]

This is true. Some luxury apartment buildings, part of their amenities. A dedicated karaoke room.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

That would make me move out.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

I think it was Sean Duffy who said, we just have to dress better for karaoke. It really improved the experience.

[Peter Sagal]

Alzo, how did Liz do in our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

She did amazing. Three out of three.

[Peter Sagal]

There you go, Liz. Congratulations. Thank you guys so much. It's been a pleasure. Thank you, Liz. It's been great to have you. Stay warm and we'll see you when we're back in Chicago in April. Sounds good. Bye.

[Announcer]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

We are, we are. We are.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

We are.

[Peter Sagal]

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke. At a cabinet meeting this week, after blasting the media for claiming he was showing signs of fatigue, President Trump did what?

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Gently dozed off.

[Peter Sagal]

He did.

He had a little nappy. In the same meeting where he complained the media was unfairly criticizing him for seeming tired, Donald Trump fell asleep a number of times. It's not surprising. No disrespect, but the man looks like, what if a CPAP machine came to life?

I have to say, though, to me, this is what makes him relatable. He goes into cabinet meetings with the confidence I have when I say, sure, it's 8:30, but absolutely, honey, we can start a whole movie right now.

[Alzo Slade]

I mean, falling asleep at work is real American thing to do.

[Peter Sagal]

It really is.

[Alzo Slade]

Yeah. I mean, I just woke up five minutes ago.

[Peter Sagal]

To be fair to the president, he does have an absolute good excuse why he's so tired. Every night this year when he tries to go to sleep, he's visited by three ghosts.

Who start by saying, okay, let's try this again.

Coming up, our panelists approach the bench in our bluffed listener game. Call 1, 8, 8, wait wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait, don't tell me from npr.

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[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

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[Alzo Slade]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait Wait, Don't TELL Me the NPR News quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Alonzo Bowden and Shantira Jackson. And here again is your host at the Arizona Financial Theater in Phoenix, Arizona, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you Alzo. Thank you everybody.

Right now it is time for the Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on Wait Wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Nick Smith. I'm calling in from Los Alamos, New Mexico. Los Alamos, New Mexico.

Dare I ask? Correct. What do you do there at that famous place?

I am a staff scientist in the Nuclear Engineering and Non Proliferation Division at Los Alamos National Laboratory. Wait a minute. So you work at Los Alamos National Laboratory which famously helped make the first atomic bomb, but you work in non proliferation? That's correct. I work on securing the back end of the fuel cycle for radioactive waste and use nuclear fuel to make sure it's safely and securely disposed.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Okay, Nick, could you also hide the codes just for a while.

[Peter Sagal]

Please? Well, Nick, it is nice to have you with us. You're gonna play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Also, what is Nick's topic?

[Alzo Slade]

I object.

[Peter Sagal]

So you have to get out your gavels. This week we heard about some disorder in a court. Our panel is gonna tell you about some courtroom chaos in the news. We found this week. Pick the panelist who's telling the truth. You'll win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I am indeed.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Let's go.

[Peter Sagal]

All right. First, let's hear from Shantira Jackson.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Jailhouse Rock took on a whole new meaning in a Missouri courtroom when the longest serving circuit judge in St. Charles County, Judge Matthew E.P. thornhill, was forced off the bench because of his uncontrollable enthusiasm for Elvis Presley. According to disciplinary records, Judge Thornhill would often wear plastic Elvis wigs along with his robes, offer witnesses the chance to swear on an Elvis song instead of the Bible, and constantly referencing Elvis songs. In his remarks from the bench, Judge Thornhill claimed that he was just trying to add some levity to the proceedings because nothing is better than walking out in handcuffs to a little less conversation, a little more action.

The judge loved Elvis so much that he even wrote in his bio that, quote, if I just had Elvis's hair, I'd be unstoppable. Well, he doesn't have Elvis hair and he was stopped.

After a six month suspension. He will retire. So like Elvis, he is probably going to have a pretty blue Christmas.

[Peter Sagal]

A judge forced from the bench only because of his enthusiasm for Elvis Presley. Your next courtroom drama comes from Alonzo Bowden.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Bill Savoy is an institution in upstate New York, an umpire for generations of Little League players. Which might explain what happened when he went to court with a property dispute. According to the Syracuse Post Standard, Mr. Savoy claimed his neighbor built her fence a foot over the property line. The neighbor had a surveyor's map, but Savoy said, quote, a blind man could see that that fence is in his garden, unquote. It was then that Judge Michael Laz began his own line of questioning, reminding Mr. Savoy he was under oath. The judge asked him about a 3:2 pitch that bounced in the dirt in a game last summer that Mr. Savoy called a strike. The judge then brought up a 30 pitch in the same game that the batter ducked to avoid, yet was also called a strike. And then, quote, what about the time you called a runner out at the plate when the ball was still in the air, Mr. Savoy meekly admitted that he may have missed a few calls. The judge stated Mr. Savoy was obviously no expert in what a blind man could see and ruled against him. Over in the gallery, the judge's son, Michael Laz Jr. Star of the Syracuse Junior Mets, was observed to pump his fist and say, justice is a bitch, isn't it?

[Peter Sagal]

An umpire answers to a higher authority in court.

Your last discovery phase comes from Luke Burbank.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Someone once said every day the Internet picks someone to focus on, and your job is to make sure that person is never you. And yet it's now happened twice to Rudy the Bailiff of Contra Costa, California. First when he was sworn in back in 2023. Because you see, Rudy is a nine year old, slightly portly yellow lab. Now that's dog gone justice, the New York Post wrote back in the day. However, the headlines were quite different last week when Rudy the Bailiff was caught up in a bribery scandal also involving county prosecutor Daniel Noonan, who allegedly used begging strips in his pocket to get Rudy to bare his teeth and stare menacingly at witnesses the prosecutor wanted to intimidate. When asked about it, Rudy the bailiff lowered his head and stared into the middle distance, refusing to answer further questions.

As of press time, he remains on paid leave, Alpo, and is standing in the corner of the courtroom being so damn pathetic, the grand jury almost can't even be mad at him anymore.

[Peter Sagal]

So here are your stories.

Of courtroom shenanigans. From Shantira Jackson, a judge in Missouri forced off the bench because he just would not stop quoting Elvis Presley. From Alonzo, an umpire answers to a judge who was not pleased with his on field calls. Or from Luke Burbank, Rudy the Bailiff, a dog bailiff involved in a bribery scandal. Which of these is the real story of judicial mayhem? Well, I'm really moved by Alonzo's story, but I think I'm all shook up for Shantira's Elvis judge.

You mean the one about the guy who got into trouble by making unwelcome references to Elvis songs? That's the one I'm going with. I see. All right, well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to an expert.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Maybe if a school bus driver was.

[Peter Sagal]

Into Elvis, that's fine.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

But a judge? Totally inappropriate.

[Peter Sagal]

That was Stephen Leto, a lawyer with a YouTube channel, Lato's Law, weighing in on the Missouri judge who was just a little too Elvis y. Congratulations, Nick. You figured it out. You got it right. You're an appoint for Shantira just for telling the truth. And you have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. Congratulations. Thanks, Peter.

[Alzo Slade]

Appreciate it.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you. Take care.

[Announcer]

Goodbye.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Bye bye.

[Peter Sagal]

And now the game we call not my job. We were delighted to see our friend Andy Richter on this season of Dancing with the Stars in which he inspired a whole lot of supporters online to call themselves. Thank you, Sandies. He and his dance partner, Emma Slater lasted far longer than most expected into the competition with Andy being dubbed by the judges the People's Princess. We are delighted her Highness could join us here on stage in Phoenix. Andy Richter, welcome back to. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Andy Richter]

Thank you. Thank you.

And I should say, it wasn't the judges.

[Peter Sagal]

It wasn't the judges.

[Andy Richter]

It was just somebody online started calling me the people's Princess.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah. Which is incredibly flattering.

[Peter Sagal]

It really is.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

I really am hoping for a tiara for Christmas.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Why not?

[Peter Sagal]

So I have to ask, were you. Dancing with the Stars has been around for a while. Had you always wanted to be on it?

[Andy Richter]

No, quite the opposite. It always seemed like a terrifying prospect. And then I didn't work very much for a little while and it seemed to kind of a good idea.

[Peter Sagal]

Did you seek them out? Did they call you?

[Andy Richter]

No, no, I got it. It was way back in April. I got a. I got an email from my agent saying, you know, they've offered you this and I've told this before. My first instinct was say no and don't tell my wife that they asked.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Andy Richter]

Like just. Cause, you know. And then a minute later I was. I felt like, I have to do this. And so I said yes. And then as it got closer, I just thought, oh, I've made a terrible mistake.

[Peter Sagal]

Tell me about your dance experience and expertise before this all began.

[Andy Richter]

I'll just tell it to you in an anecdote that my wife reminded me of. When I said yes to Dancing with the Stars for our wedding, my only requirement for our dance was that the song be the shortest one possible.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Andy Richter]

Because I just. I wasn't comfortable. I mean, I can dance. So wait a minute. You know, with some drinks at a party.

[Peter Sagal]

But was it like the boot up tone from Microsoft Windows? What was it?

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Brian Eno.

[Peter Sagal]

It's done.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, it was just. It was my ringtone.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

No, you know what? Oh, my God. I don't remember.

[Peter Sagal]

You don't remember?

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Peter? How dare you set Andy Richter up that way on national radio.

[Andy Richter]

Listen to this. And I'm not. Oh, What a jerk I am.

[Peter Sagal]

So I guess what I'm saying is.

[Andy Richter]

In many other ways, I'm an excellent husband. Just not that.

[Peter Sagal]

And so what was the preparation? So, like, you show up, say, I've been to the gym, I've been doing my cardio.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah. You start dancing, you start. You start being taught a routine.

[Peter Sagal]

Did you get assigned a partner in your case, Emma?

[Andy Richter]

I was lucky enough to get Emma Slater, who is an angel and really an amazingly talented person, an amazing choreographer. She understood me. She understood, like, how to teach me.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Andy Richter]

Because I'm not. I don't enjoy being pushed, you know, like the hard line kind of thing. I just say f this goodbye, so I need to be treated, you know? And also, she's very fun and she. Also part of her genius was that she said, oh, and by the way, every day we're gonna make two or three TikToks.

[Peter Sagal]

Uh huh.

[Andy Richter]

And I said, okay. Just because I was saying okay to everything at that point. And she. We started doing them. I didn't understand them. I was saying things like, wait, we're just doing what someone else has already done. We're not doing anything different.

[Peter Sagal]

You're just doing the. Whatever.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah, we're just doing this. And she said, yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, shouldn't we put a twist on it? She's like, no, just do it. All right. And we just do it. And I. Very quickly, she would point and say, look how many views this got. And I'd be like 1.3 million.

[Peter Sagal]

Right?

[Andy Richter]

Like, that's what.

[Peter Sagal]

And this is.

[Andy Richter]

That number has never been connected to me other than for taxation purposes.

[Peter Sagal]

And this. So I watched a lot of your dances, and I'm saying this with complete love and respect, speaking as a man that, for good reason, has not danced in public for 25 years, but kind of seemed like your job was to stand still and watch with amazement while your partner did amazing dance moves sort of around you.

[Alzo Slade]

Andy, don't let him do you like that. Don't let him do you like that.

[Peter Sagal]

But, but. And here was the charming part. You made a lot of very expressive faces as you watched her dance.

[Andy Richter]

You make it sound like, I mean, you weren't entirely. Yeah, I moved from one point to the other, and there was footwork that I had to remember.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Andy Richter]

Yeah. Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Andy Richter]

I'm not saying I was great.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay.

[Andy Richter]

But I danced.

[Peter Sagal]

You danced.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

We believe you. We believe you.

[Andy Richter]

There were people online, too, that say, he just walks around. I'm like, what do you think dancing is if not Syncopated walking.

Hey, Peter, you expect me to fly?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, I'll.

[Alzo Slade]

Peter, I really do think if Andy wasn't dressed as nicely as he is, he would kick your ass out.

[Peter Sagal]

But that wouldn't. That part. I mean, wasn't that part of the appeal of to.

[Andy Richter]

Well, there's certainly. They've had people on that show who are outright elderly, so, yeah, they're not. They're not going to kill them, you know, and that there always is kind of an aspect. And I was the oldest person there, so, yeah, I'm not gonna be doing a lot of flips and stuff.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Andy Richter]

But I certainly did learn to waltz. I learned to cha cha a foxtrot. You know, I pulled off a foxtrot, so.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

And thank you. Thank you. And by the end, too, I was. With each new week's dance, I would learn it in one rehearsal. It was like, I have the ability.

I can remember. Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow. You sort of learned there.

[Andy Richter]

It's like, thank you. Yeah. No, I would think. I thought of it as, like, between my head and my feet. There was no wiring and. Or it crusted over or something. And that by the time we were finished, the wiring was there. And I mean, I was never. I tried to emulate the real dancers because I would do the dance that we were doing that week and think, I really nailed that one. I really got it. And then we would look because we'd record it on our phones and I'd look at it on the phone. I'm like, look at that old man stomping around, waving his arms.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Andy Richter]

I just was like, it doesn't. When I do it, it does not look like the way the dancers do.

[Peter Sagal]

You know, it's funny how that works.

[Andy Richter]

And I would try to. I tried, you know, in different times to sort of emulate the sort of more sort of fluid movements. And it's. You know, as I said, I was a rhino in a gazelle contest. I'm never gonna be a gazelle.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

There you go.

[Peter Sagal]

The people's princess. Well, Andy Richter, it is always such a pleasure to have you on our show. And as always, we'd like you to play a game that this time we are calling Gotta Dance. So, given your performance on Dancing with the Stars, we thought we'd ask you about somebody who was really good at dancing, Gene Kelly. Answer two out of three questions about the legendary song and dance man, and you will win a prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is Andy Richter playing for this time?

[Alzo Slade]

Firma and Barry Kipnis of Prescott, Arizona. Nice.

[Peter Sagal]

Not far from locals. Locals, absolutely.

[Andy Richter]

Are they here?

[Peter Sagal]

I don't know. Are you here?

[Andy Richter]

No.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

No.

[Andy Richter]

Apparently not that big a fan.

[Announcer]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, ready? Here's your first question. Gene Kelly went from being a dance instructor in Pittsburgh to one of the biggest movie stars of all time. What was among his many secrets of success? A, custom made motorized tap shoes. B, pants that were one size too small to accentuate his butt. Or C, whatever the music you heard watching him on screen on set, he was always dancing to the same song. Home on the Range.

[Andy Richter]

I think it the butt pants.

[Peter Sagal]

You're right.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

And if you've ever seen him, you'd know that's true. Not only did he have his pants made a little tight, he would sometimes make sure his male co star's pants were a little loose. Okay.

Kelly went on after his own career on screen to be a director. He directed the movie hello, Dolly. And the star of that film, Michael Crawford, said that he got the part after Kelly said, which of these to him was it? A, quote, you remind me of a young me before I knew how to dance. B, quote, we can shoot somebody with talent from the waist down and edit it in. Or C, we're looking for an attractive idiot. My wife thinks you're attractive and I think you're an idiot.

[Andy Richter]

Boy.

I think maybe the third one. I think the third one. Yeah, about the wife and the.

[Peter Sagal]

You're right. You know this business, you know these people. That's exactly what he said.

And he is kind of an attractive idiot in the film, so it works out. All right, last question. You could be perfect here. Gene Kelly and his wife hosted these massive parties for his famous friends in Beverly Hills. And a mainstay of those parties was what? A, Kelly's toe tap and punch, which was just as it turned out, grain alcohol and red food coloring. B, Kelly challenging any guest there for the first time to a dance off. Or C, a cutthroat version of charades that could last for 24 hours straight.

[Andy Richter]

It's gotta be the charade.

[Peter Sagal]

It is the charades. Andy. A man who's been to his Hollywood parties 24 hours. 24 hours.

[Andy Richter]

Charade.

[Peter Sagal]

Sometimes it was called. It was known as the game. Yeah, we're gonna play the game.

[Andy Richter]

Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. True story. Also, how did Andy Richter do in our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

He danced his way to a perfect score. Three out of three.

[Peter Sagal]

You did.

[Andy Richter]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

There you go. Andy Richter was the people's princess on this year's run of Dancing with the Stars. He is the host of the three Questions with Andy Richter Podcast, which airs Mondays on the Sirius XM app or wherever you might get your podcast. Please give it up to our friend Andy Richter.

[Andy Richter]

Thanks so much, Andy.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you so much for being with us.

[Andy Richter]

Thank you. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Thanks so much.

[Peter Sagal]

In just a minute, alzo has a warning for plant lovers everywhere in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-wait-wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of wait, wait, don't tell me from npr.

Support for NPR and the following message come from GoodRx. The holidays are here, but so is cold and flu season. Find relief for less with Goodrx. You could save an average of $53 on flu treatments, plus save on cold medications, decongestants and more easily. Compare prescription prices and find discounts up to 80%. GoodRx is not insurance, but works with or without it, and it could beat your copay price. Save on cold and flu [e-mail] Wait, this message comes from Odoo. Some say Odoo business management software is like fertilizer for businesses because it promotes growth. Others say Odoo is like a magic beanstalk because it scales with you and is magically affordable. And some describe Odoo's programs as building blocks for creating a custom software suite. But some say Odoo is fertilizer, magic beanstalk building blocks for business. Odoo, exactly what a business needs. Sign [e-mail] that's o d o o.com.

[Alzo Slade]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, wait, Don't TELL me the NPR News quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Alonzo Bowden and Shantira Jackson. And here again is your host at the Arizona Financial Theater in Phoenix, Arizona, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Alzo.

In just a minute.

Our delicious limericks get three Michelin stars and our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play or you or, you know, if you just love us, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Shantara, There is a new kind of party to go to where you get together with your friends for a hot.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Night of what, watching Dancing with the Stars?

[Peter Sagal]

No, I wish. Here's your hint. Bring your party dress, your outstanding bills and your shoebox of receipts.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Oh, you do your taxes yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

You do paperwork?

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

This new trend is paperwork parties. Or as one Wall Street Journal columnist calls it, admin night. This is a party that really tests the age old theory that anything can be fun if you drink enough.

But if you do drink, be careful. You don't want to wake up the next morning like, oh, man, what did I deduct last night?

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Do you have to do your own paperwork? Because there's some paperwork I like and some paperwork I don't. Can we swap?

[Peter Sagal]

What's the paperwork you like?

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

I like filling out my airport stuff.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

You do?

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Yeah, I like to see how many points I can get from stuff on my credit card. So, yeah, like if there was an option. Is this like a taxation, like swingers party?

[Peter Sagal]

Pretty much, yeah.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Everybody throws their stuff at a party.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

We put our keys in a bowl and you do my paperwork.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. The idea you see, is like, everybody has to do all of this. Everybody's dealing with credit cards and accounts and online stuff, and it's a pain in the butt. So why don't everybody get together and you can help each other? Oh, I know the number to talk to a real person at this company.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

I think that's called the office.

[Andy Richter]

Yeah.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

You get together with a group of people and do something unfun until you're done with it.

[Peter Sagal]

No, no, no. This is great. It's a great way to, like, you and your friends support each other. You can pool your knowledge and it's a great way to find out which of your friends are drowning in debt.

Luke. A remarkable new study suggests that children's health will be affected if their mother smells what while she's pregnant.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Is this something that generally is thought to be dangerous or toxic?

[Peter Sagal]

Toxic. It's a smell that is generally thought to be very, very lovely. As long as you're not a vegetarian. Ah. Or kosher, I guess.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Okay. Bacon.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, bacon. Child's health future well being can be affected if their mother smells bacon while they are pregnant with that child. So we know eating bacon is bad. Now even smelling bacon can change your life. The study shows that if the mother only smells bacon, her offspring are more likely in life to become obese. This is because chemical signals can be transferred to the developing fetus, which goes. Oh yeah. First thing I do when I get out of here is get me some of that.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Is. Is this an American study?

Cause if it is, I don't think that's the problem.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Remember, we've also fired a lot of the scientists in this country, so.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Also, women, when you're pregnant? I don't know. But I do know a lot of people who've been pregnant. You only have so much. Do not take bacon away from pregnant women. They need it.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Really.

[Peter Sagal]

Honestly, they might kill you if you try.

Alonzo, this week we learned about the newest trendy appliance for your home. It's a washing machine, but it's specifically designed to clean. What?

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

Not your clothes, not your dishes.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

It's a washing machine for something besides clothes and dishes. Your pickleball paddle.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Be careful. This is Arizona.

Most of these people moved here to play more pickleball.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

That's why I said it. You got to keep that paddle. Can you give me a hint?

[Peter Sagal]

Sure. The shampoo and body wash pods are sold separately.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Oh, to wash your body?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. They're human washing machines. It's a new invention by a Japanese electronics company called Yamada. And it looks like a spa bed, sort of. And it uses micro bubbles and steam mist to provide a full body clean in just 15 minutes of operation. It's amazing. That only takes 10 minutes longer than a shower. Think of the time you'll lose.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

This sounds to be like putting you through a car wash, right? Just zipping.

[Peter Sagal]

Which, let's all be honest, we all dream of, right? Yeah, I still do. I will say, though, you know, with the relaxing warm water jets and gentle scrubbing, it's more like a human laundry machine than a dishwasher, which means it will be great until it gets to the spin cycle.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

You wash yourself on too hot, you come out. You're like a.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up. It's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-89-24. You can see us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago. And come see us on the road. We will be in Bloomington, Indiana, on February 26th. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.com and if you like our show, but not enough to watch it for more than just a few seconds, check us out on TikTok at waitwaitnpr. Hi, you're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Hi, this is Katie from Norman, Oklahoma.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey. Okay, Norman, Oklahoma. What do you do there for fun in Norman?

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Pottery. Pottery and play with my dogs.

[Peter Sagal]

Pottery and play with your dogs. So you throw pots?

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Not for the dogs.

[Announcer]

Not yet.

[Peter Sagal]

Not Yet. Okay. Yes.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Welcome.

[Peter Sagal]

Welcome to our show. Katie Alzo Slate filling in for Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to go?

[Andy Richter]

Yep.

[Peter Sagal]

Here is your first limerick.

[Alzo Slade]

All these house plants are meant to impress, but I'd like to be doing much less. Fresh water, fresh soil and pruning is toil. It's raising my levels of stress.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Turns out that too many plants in your house can stress you out. It makes sense. Plants are great until you get back from a trip and you realize, oh, they don't water themselves while I'm gone. Researchers at Stanford invited volunteers to do difficult work in rooms with different amounts of houseplants and then noted their level of stress. It turns out the optimum amount of houseplants is enough to fill 20% of your field of vision. If you're seeing plants everywhere you look, right, you start thinking, oh, man, how the hell am I supposed to put all those plants through plant college?

And plants taking up 100% of your field of view is very stressful because you realize you blacked out and woke up naked in the woods.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Again, you are in the Amazon.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Yeah. You wouldn't want to live in a greenhouse.

[Peter Sagal]

That'd be weird.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Unless they're growing weed.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, that'd be good.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

In which case you got a place to hang out.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, yeah. All right, here is your next limerick.

[Alzo Slade]

Confused as to what the attacks meant, the lion pride followed the track scent. What the other pride spoke, they took as a joke. Cause their roar had a regional bent.

[Peter Sagal]

Not bent. It's a two syllable answer. Rhymes with tax.

Accents.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

There you are.

Scientists have discovered that lion roars have different accents depending on where the lion is from. And furthermore, they think this might be what the hyenas have been laughing at.

Now, if you want to hear a great accent, meet a Scottish lion roar.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

I think lion roars all sound the same behind.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, exactly.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

You don't worry about where that lion's from. That one of those west side lions.

[Peter Sagal]

About to eat me. All right, here is your last limerick.

[Alzo Slade]

Dogs with underbites look around smugly because they look weird. We humans act snugly. Sleek dogs with much grace are losing first place. We all want a dog that is ugly.

[Peter Sagal]

Ugly, yes. Ugly dogs are in. According. According to the Wall Street Journal, when once high status dogs were like the golden retrievers or Afghans. Now quote at the end of every second leash lurks a rat with an overbite or a pop eyed goblin.

Which is also why so many vets are saying to dog owners, yeah, don't know how to tell you this, but there's really no need to spay or neuter this.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Nature's got it covered.

[Peter Sagal]

Really? The Journal described one very currently popular breed, the Chinese crested as quote, a dog that got left in the microwave.

So if you really want a dog that's on trend, get one that's so ugly other dogs keep going up and sniffing its face.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

I feel like a cat wrote this.

This is right up the cat's alley.

[Peter Sagal]

The Wall Street Journal is entirely staffed by cats.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

I mean these days, maybe.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

So do you compliment someone on how ugly their dog is?

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Well, they have ugly dog contest.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

They have an ugly dog ugliest dogs contest.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Well, then I guess you do.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

And how do you suggest that to them? Hey, we really love Mr. Freckles, but I see a future for him. In ugly dog contests.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

What you say is, you know, as long as you love him. Yeah, as long as you love ugly.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, your dog, it's got such a lovely personality. Alzo, how did Katie do in our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

She got three out of three. Perfect score.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations, Katie. Well done.

Thank you so much for playing.

[Andy Richter]

Thanks.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

Bye.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

This message comes from Superhuman, the AI productivity suite that gives you superpowers everywhere you work with Grammarly, mail and coda coming together. You get proactive help across your workflow so you can outsmart the chaos experience AI that proactively helps you go from to do to done faster. Unleash your superhuman potential today. Learn [e-mail] podcast. That's superhuman.com podcast.

[Announcer]

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[Peter Sagal]

Now, onto our final game. Let me fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores?

[Alzo Slade]

Of course. Alonzo and Luke are tied up at two, with Shantira in the lead with three.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay. Hey, Shantira. The Shantira stands are excited.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

We'll see how long it lasts.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, let's arbitrarily pick Alonzo to go first. You're tied for second, so here we go. The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank, Alonzo. On Wednesday, the Department of Homeland Security began blank raids in Minnesota and Louisiana.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Ice.

[Peter Sagal]

On Monday, Costco sued the US Seeking a full refund of President Trump's blanks tariffs. Right. This week, heavy rainstorms caused dangerous blanks in Indonesia, Thailand, and Malaysia.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Floods.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. And landslides, according to meteorological data. Parts of the US Will soon face the blankest weather of the season.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Coldest.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, Zoran Mamdani in the Louvre topped The list for 2025's blanks.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

People of the Year.

[Andy Richter]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

2025'S most mispronounced words.

On Sunday, Leo XIV arrived in Beirut as part of his first trip abroad since being named Blank Pope. Right. On Monday, one of the last privately owned blank eggs sold for over $30 million at auction.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Right.

[Peter Sagal]

This week, a politician in Namibia legally changed his name so that he will no longer be called by his birth name, blank Namibia. No, he will no longer be known by his birth name, Adolf Hitler Uunona.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Oh, dang. Why would you give that up?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

You're the only one.

[Peter Sagal]

I mean, true.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

First of all, you get the Hotmail account.

[Peter Sagal]

True. Yeah, right.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Nobody else has taken that.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

How long did it take him to decide?

[Peter Sagal]

He is a grown man. Adolf Hitler Uunona, who's been part of the government there since 2004, says his parents gave him the name without understanding the historical significance behind it. And. And now he's happy he will no longer be known as Adolf Hitler Uunona and is excited to run for re election under his new legal name, Adolf Hitler Williams.

Alzo, how did Alonso do in our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

He did all right. He got six right for 12 points, which gives him a total of 14 and the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

Well done. All right.

Luke, you are up next. Please fill in the the blank. On Tuesday, top U.S. officials met with Vladimir Putin to discuss an end to the war in Blank.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Ukraine.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled that Blank could use their gerrymandered congressional map.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Texas.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, House Democrats released photos and videos of Blank's private island.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Epstein.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Tuesday, the GOP won a special election in Blank, but by narrower margins than expected.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Virginia.

[Peter Sagal]

No. Tennessee. Overwhelmed. Emergency rooms in England are begging people to stop coming to the ER for Blank toothbrush lessons. No hiccups. According to a new report, Blank consumption is declining globally.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Alcohol.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Friday, the first matchups of FIFA's 2026 Blank cup were announced. World Right. This week, animal control officers were called to a liquor store in Virginia after a raccoon broke in and blanked, got.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Drunk and trashed the place pretty much.

[Peter Sagal]

And passed out in the store's bathroom. According to animal control, the raccoon had somehow managed to get into the store, sampled a lot of liquor, and then passed out spread eagled face down on the bathroom floor.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

It was really freaking cute.

[Peter Sagal]

It was pretty adorable.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

Way cuter than when I do it.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Alzo, how did Luke do on our quiz?

[Alzo Slade]

Well, Luke also got six right for 12 points. And now he is tied for the lead with Alonso.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, so then how many does Shantira need to win it all?

[Alzo Slade]

Shantira.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Yeah.

[Alzo Slade]

Six to win, Sis. Six to win.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here we go. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, GOP representative Elise Stefanik questioned blank's effectiveness as speaker of the House.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Oh, what's his name? Johnson.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Mike Johnson. On Thursday, the admiral who oversaw one of the U.S. s lethal blank strikes. Oh, missile boat strikes.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

The Venezuelan. Yeah. On Monday, AT&T said they were ending their blank initiatives.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

DEI.

[Peter Sagal]

Right after a man in China's car started making weird sounds, mechanics discovered the noises were caused by blanks.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

There was just a man in there sleeping.

[Peter Sagal]

No. 40 pounds of hazelnuts stuffed under the hood. For the first time ever, the average price of a new blank rose above $50,000. New cars. Yes. On Wednesday, Spotify released the 2025 version of users blanks.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

It's like your Spotify list.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Your Spotify wrapped, it's called this week, a company that makes a device to play sounds like rushing water and birdsong to cover up bathroom noises, announced their newest sound, Blank.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Your mother saying she loves you?

[Peter Sagal]

No. Their new sound to cover up bathroom sounds is artillery fire. The Royal Flush is a wall mounted device that offers pleasing sounds of nature to cover up whatever else might be happening in there. And it now features extra strength sound including artillery fire. Oh, man. This explains why the last time you had a party at your house, one of your friends was like, hey, where's your bathroom? I gotta go save Private Ryan.

Alzo, did Shantira do well enough to win?

[Alzo Slade]

Ah, almost. She got five right for 10 more points. A total of 13. Just one point shy of the fellas.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

And that is how it always happens.

[Peter Sagal]

In just a minute, we're gonna ask our panelists to predict what will be the number one song on everybody's Spotify wrapped next year. Wait, Wait, don't tell Me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord Philip Ga writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shayna Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Arizona Financial Theater. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Roberson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwyn is our gleep. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, don't tell me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now, panel, looking forward to next year. What will be the top song on Spotify Wrapped? Shantira Jackson.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

Anything.

[Panelist 2 - Shantira Jackson]

Beyonce. Daniel Please give us Act 3, Luke Burbank.

[Panelist 3 - Luke Burbank]

For some reason, Hit the Road, Jack.

[Peter Sagal]

And Alonzo Bowden.

[Panelist 4 - Alonzo Bowden]

I don't know what it is, but the conservatives will not approve of the song.

[Alzo Slade]

And if we hear any of those songs, we'll ask you about it on Wait Wait, Don't Tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you so much. Alzo Slade. Thanks also to Alonzo Bowden, Shantira Jackson and Luke Burbank. A very special thanks to everyone in the at KJZZ here in Phoenix and to our fabulous audience here at the Arizona Financial Theater. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Saga. We'll be back in Chicago next week.

This is NPR.

[Panelist 1 - Shantira Jackson]

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