WWDTM: Brian Jordan Alvarez

Summary

Podcast Summary: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Featuring Brian Jordan Alvarez

Introduction Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! is NPR's beloved weekly news quiz show, blending humor with current events. Hosted by Peter Sagal and featuring a rotating panel of comedians, the show engages listeners through games, quizzes, and witty banter. This particular episode spotlighted comedian and fashion designer Brian Jordan Alvarez, star of Hulu's English Teacher, alongside panelists Emmy Blotnick and Luke Burbank.

Segment 1: Contestant Challenge – "Who's Bill?" The episode began with contestant Megan Cain from Westfield, Massachusetts, participating in the "Who's Bill?" game. In this segment, Bill Curtis presented Megan with three news-related quotes, challenging her to identify or explain two correctly to win a prize.

1. Political "Garbage" Quote ([03:50]):

   • Peter Sagal: "The one word that everybody seems to be using to summarize something that's been going on but will finally end on Tuesday: garbage."
   • Megan correctly identified this as related to the election rhetoric, highlighting the tension between candidates Kamala Harris and Donald Trump.

2. Animal Alcohol Consumption Study ([05:45]):

   • Peter Sagal: "Lions and tigers and bears... a new study finds that deliberate alcohol use among animals is far more widespread than we thought."
   • Megan connected this to the humorous notion that animals, much like humans, enjoy a drink now and then.

3. Great Cheese Heist ([08:09]):

   • Peter Sagal: "If you do see anybody selling some cheap cheddar, can you let us know?"
   • Megan correctly identified this as a $400,000 cheddar theft in the UK, dubbed the "great cheese heist of 2024."

Megan triumphed in the segment, earning a prize of a custom voicemail message from the show's voices.

Segment 2: Panel Game – "Bluff the Listener" Yvonne from Olympia, Washington, joined the panel to play "Bluff the Listener," where panelists presented three humorous and fabricated work trip stories. Yvonne had to discern the true story from the fakes.

1. Sex Motel Accommodation ([15:10]):

   • Luke Burbank: Described Uganda delegates staying at Motel Desires in Cali, Colombia, due to hotel shortages.

2. Clandestine Mafia Negotiation ([16:31]):

   • Emmy Blotnick: Narrated a tale of a Canadian intern mistakenly negotiating gravel deals with the Quebecois mafia, resulting in concrete-gravy mishaps.

3. Ancient High-Tech Prank ([17:59]):

   • Brian Babylon: Told of archaeologists in Chicago being fooled by fake ancient artifacts, including tablets with emojis and QR codes leading to cat videos.

Yvonne correctly identified Luke's story about the sex motel as the genuine event, winning her a voicemail prize.

Segment 3: Guest Interview – Brian Jordan Alvarez Brian Jordan Alvarez, creator and star of Hulu's English Teacher, was the featured guest. Peter Sagal engaged Brian in a lively conversation about his career and creative process.

• Creation of English Teacher ([21:12]):

  • Peter Sagal: "How'd you get the part? Did you have a killer audition?"
  • Brian Jordan Alvarez: Explained that he essentially cast himself, emphasizing his openness and creative freedom.

• Influence of Social Media ([23:19]):

  • Brian: Discussed leveraging TikTok trends, particularly humorous shirtless dancing to promote English Teacher, which significantly boosted viewership.

• Australian Accent Fame ([25:38]):

  • Peter: Noted Brian's unexpected popularity in Australia for his impeccable fake Australian accent, despite never having visited the country.

Brian's charisma and humorous anecdotes provided listeners with an entertaining behind-the-scenes look at his show and personal quirks.

Segment 4: Listener Challenge – "Limerick Challenge" Jenna from Cincinnati participated in the "Limerick Challenge," where she completed three news-themed limericks presented by Bill Curtis.

1. Okra Water Trend ([38:57]):

   • Limerick: "The slime factor's making me chokra for my health..."
   • Jenna: Correctly filled in "okra," highlighting a bizarre health trend.

2. Beige Baby Rooms ([40:25]):

   • Limerick: "Though the Internet answered with rage..."
   • Jenna: Filled in "beige," referencing neutral color trends in baby products.

3. Gaming in the Olympics ([41:05]):

   • Limerick: "Though not buff, I won't fave any shaming..."
   • Jenna: Identified "gaming," pointing to the potential inclusion of video games in future Olympics.

Jenna achieved a perfect score, securing another voicemail prize.

Segment 5: Panel Discussion – Future Animal Vices The panelists speculated humorously about future unexpected behaviors animals might adopt, building on earlier jokes about animals consuming alcohol.

• Brian Babylon: Joked about McGruff the crime dog engaging in drug sales.
• Emmy Blotnick: Suggested horses might use human tranquilizers.
• Luke Burbank: Predicted animals becoming addicted to gambling, envisioning realistic cherry symbols on slot machines.

Conclusion The episode concluded with Peter Sagal thanking the panelists, contestants, and the audience. The guest, Brian Jordan Alvarez, had successfully navigated the quiz games, earning additional accolades from the panel.

Notable Quotes

• Brian Jordan Alvarez ([27:17]): "I'm very proud of English Teacher. You know, the critics loved it and a lot of people are watching it, but I wanted more people to watch it."
• Peter Sagal ([09:19]): "Sometimes, dad. For once."
• Emmy Blotnick ([34:22]): "They put people at the single table. So it's that old auntie, a couple of teenagers and a few single people throw some joints on that table and keep it stepping."

Conclusion This episode of Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me! masterfully blended current events, humor, and engaging games to entertain listeners. With standout performances from Brian Jordan Alvarez and insightful, funny interactions among the panelists, the show maintained its reputation as both a news quiz and a comedy staple. Whether through deciphering news quotes, bluffing listener stories, or crafting limericks, the episode offered a delightful mix of information and laughter, making it accessible and enjoyable for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Bill Curtis]

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[Peter Sagal]

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is. Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm not just eye candy, I'm also ear candy. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Sudamaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, everybody. It's great to be back with you. We were all excited to do a special Halloween show for everybody, but we realized we were just going to miss it by a couple of days. So taking inspiration from the local Walgreens, this is now a Christmas show. So later on, we're going to be talking to the amazing Brian Jordan Alvarez. He's the star of English Teacher on Hulu. But first, get on our nice list, Call in, play our games. Give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant, how you run? Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. How are you? I'm well. Who's this? This is Megan Cain from Westfield, Massachusetts. I know Westfield. What do you do there? Well, I was a stay at home mom for a while. Now I work part time. I'm a mentor for fifth and sixth graders at one of our public elementary schools. And coming up soon, I'll be working at the polls for election Day on Tuesday. Well, good for you. That is important and patriotic work and I appreciate it. I'm also interested in the fact that you were stuck at home with your own children and you couldn't take it anymore so you decided to go get stuck with other people's children. A glutton for punishment, I guess. Exactly. Well, Megan, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the comedian and fashion designer, really? Whose latest project you can see at bbspoke Shop, it's Brian Babylon.

[Brian Babylon]

Hey, Brian.

[Peter Sagal]

Next, it's the comedian you can see at Union hall in Brooklyn, New York, on November 23rd. It's Emmy Blotnick. Hello. Hi, Emmy. And he's the host of the daily podcast TBTL and the public radio variety show Livewire Live this weekend at the Alberta Rose Theatre as part of the Portland Book Festival. It's Luke Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Megan.

[Peter Sagal]

Megan, welcome to the show. You're of course, going to play who's Bill this time, Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready now. Your first quote is the one word that everybody seems to be using to summarize something that's been going on but will finally end on Tuesday. Here is that word garbage that was used by both candidates and many other people in the final days of what? The election. The election, yes. We're only a few days away. In the remaining hours, really before election Day, both candidates are making their final push to voters. Harris closing argument was that Trump represents a fundamental threat to democracy, while Trump's closing argument was Puerto Rico. Am I right? Of course, we have to be aware of this. Tuesday will not be the end. We might not know the result of the election for weeks. Arizona campaign officials say it could take until Donald Trump is president to count all the ballots.

[Luke Burbank]

On the plus side, I have made text friends with some very important people.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

If you saw the people that have been texting me, Luke Burbank, it's wild.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Are they counting on you, Luke?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I assumed I played a fairly significant role in this election, but I had no idea.

[Peter Sagal]

Now, of course, I mean, it doesn't seem. It seems like this always happens. Kamala Harris had this amazing rally on the Ellipse, and Joe Biden kind of stepped on it by when he seemed to call Trump supporters garbage. His aides say that's ridiculous. He would never say that in public. The. And the Trump campaign, because they love this, they immediately embraced Biden's gaffe about garbage in Wisconsin. The very next day, Donald Trump dressed as a garbage man and drove around in a garbage truck. And get this, he picked JD Vance as his running mate.

[Brian Babylon]

But you know the funny thing I saw when he put on that orange garbage thing, he looked like a candy corn. Did you see that? I think someone posted from the orange vest to his face to that hair, it was straight. Candy corn land. It was. I see that no one told him, hey, hey, hey, man, don't. No, go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

The tension between, like, Trump's political instincts and his team and his handlers and their sort of political instincts was in its most stark. When he got into that garbage truck, because you could tell that four people tried to say, sir, do not get my garbage. This is not a good look for you. Yeah, it was touch and go. He's like, trying to kind of. First he couldn't get the door open that he was trying to reach up onto these handles. There's like four Secret Service dudes that are like, do we help him?

[Emmy Blotnick]

Yeah, our president's compostable.

[Luke Burbank]

You're just standing there. Which bin do I throw him in?

[Emmy Blotnick]

Is he litter or.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Megan, Megan, here is your next quote.

Lions and tigers and bears.

That was a scientific journal summing up a new finding that what is much more common in the animal kingdom than we thought. Drinking. Yes, drinking alcohol. A new study finds that deliberate alcohol use among animals of all kinds is far more widespread than we thought. From chimpanzees to fruit flies. Apparently they are also watching this election. I mean, we've known that they do this, but this new study says that they do it much more than we thought. And even more than that, they do it apparently for the same reasons we do. For example, this is true. They found male fruit flies turned to alcohol after they were rejected by a potential mate. That's true. And the bartender. And the bartender's like, don't worry, pal, you only live a week.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Yeah, you should see them when there's a round of layoffs, like fruit flies that have just been fired really go after it.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, you should see them drop.

[Peter Sagal]

And also, this is true. I want to share this with you. The more alcohol they consume, the less discerning female fruit flies become about potential mates.

[Brian Babylon]

What kind of, first of all, high powered microscope was this scientist using and what drugs was he on to be like, yeah, you know what? His feelings are hurt right now.

[Luke Burbank]

I like the idea of the scientist looking at what seems to be a regular petri dish. And it's just, you know, organized and just keeps enhancing, enhancing. And then it's just like a bar.

[Brian Babylon]

That's what I'm saying.

[Luke Burbank]

Like inside the bar. And then just like one fruit fly that can't get laid. In this little world of these animals.

[Peter Sagal]

Do you know who can hold their liquor? Hornets. Hornets apparently can ingest an 80% ethanol solution with no effect on their behavior. Unless, of course, you count their yelling. No, I'm okay to drive now. Of course, I should say these animals, insects, they're not, like, downing shots of vodka. It's rather they're getting drunk on fermented fruits and fruit juice. Right. It's more of a brunch thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Bottomless plums.

[Brian Babylon]

So this is really just bugs. Not people's household pets are sneaking. Hey, man, I thought I had some pinot in this fridge. And that's let bugs be bugs, bro.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Megan, here is your last quote.

If you do see anybody selling some cheap cheddar, can you let us know?

That was a cheesemaker in the UK pleading for help after what happened to his cheese. Oh, I might need a hint. Was it stolen? It was stolen. You didn't need a hint. That's right. It's being called the quote great cheese heist of 2024. $400,000 worth of cheddar cheese was stolen. That's 22 tons. They are going to have to steal so much lactate.

[Brian Babylon]

Yeah, sounds like some sabo faire.

[Peter Sagal]

A group of old fashioned cheesemakers. The guys who do the stuff by hand, make the good stuff. Say they were contacted by a man who said he represented this big French grocery chain and he wanted to place a huge order. And they were so convinced he was real, he said, so anyways, I'm looking for some fromage. And they shipped off the cheese. And when they didn't get paid, they realized they'd been ripped off and they were heartbroken. One cheesemaker said of his stolen cheeses, quote, and this is real. I feel like I knew each one individually.

[Brian Babylon]

So you know what? And if I was a detective for this. Yeah, you start at their Chartrudery boards and go back. You know what I'm saying? Wherever there's an explosion in Chartruder reports.

[Luke Burbank]

Usually that's smart hot cheese right after that. Right. But I would say to Brian's point, look for the criminal gang that hasn't taken a number two in a while.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, yeah. That's how they found him. There's guys, actually, they did catch a guy. Somebody is in custody as of Showtime and all they needed to do was wait for someone to buy 4,000 cases of Triscuits. Bill, how did Megan do in our quiz?

Fantastic. She was really hot and gets us off to a good start.

Well done, Megan. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Okay, panel, it is time for a brand new game that we are calling.

What'S Dame Helen Mirren up to this week?

So, Luke, you're our player for this inaugural edition. What? What is Dame Helen Mirren, the legendary British actress, up to this week? Is it A, talking with great emotion about aging her career and how, quote, if you love what you do, it never feels like working, it's playing. Or B, she was talking about aging and how, quote, it's so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did because he never saw gps.

[Luke Burbank]

I pray to God it's number two.

[Peter Sagal]

It is in fact bs. Congratulations. During an interview with the Evening Standard newspaper, the celebrated actress, completely unprompted, started talking about Kurt Cobain and gps, something she loves. And she says she regrets that Cobain never got to experience it. Shockingly, this is not the first time that Dame Helen Mirren has talked about Kurt Cobain and technology in the past. She mentioned how sad she was that he had never seen a laptop or been on the Internet.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody needs to check Dame Helen Mirren's Trapper Keeper because I feel like she has written on there Mrs. Helen Cobain over and over again. This is an old school crush. Yeah, this guy's taking up a lot of real estate in her brain.

[Peter Sagal]

No, she's imagining the Insta handle like irt. And Helen, you know, she eats some dippin dots.

[Luke Burbank]

You think about Kurt and that he never had them.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Coming up, business or pleasure in our bluff. The listener game called one triple eight. Wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, don't tell me from npr, this message comes from Peloton offering an array of challenging programs to choose from, seasoned marathoners with tread programs to help you get ready for race day and custom strength workouts for the gym helps you push your limits every time. Peloton instructors are no joke, military trained, sub three hour marathon running and ex college athletes that really know how to push you towards your power. Find your push. Find your power with [e-mail] this message comes from CookUnity. Treating yourself to dining out nowadays can bring on sticker shock. CookUnity offers restaurant quality meals created from their roster of all star chefs sent straight to your door, always fresh, not frozen for a fraction of the price at a restaurant. Avoid the takeout trauma with cookunity affordable food crafted by award winning chefs delivered to your door. Go to cookunity.com wait and enter code wait before checkout for 50% off your first week.

[Bill Curtis]

This message comes from BetterHelp. It's important to take time to show gratitude towards others, but it's equally important to thank yourself. Life throws a lot of curveballs and being grateful isn't always easy. Therapy can help remind you of all that you're worthy of and all that you do have. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. [e-mail] NPR today to get 10% off your first month.

[Peter Sagal]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, don't tell Me the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Emmy Blotnick, Luke Burbank and Brian Babylon. And here again as your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill. Right now it is time for the Wait Wait, don't tell me. Bluff the listener game. Call 1 Triple 8. Wait, wait. To play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page eight. Wait. Npr. Hi. You are on Wait Wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Yvonne in Olympia, Washington. I love Olympia, Washington, one of my favorite places. I have good friends there. What do you do? I am an artist and a middle school art teacher and I also play in a band called Sticks and Bones. Sticks and Bones? What kind of band is it? It's a queer women led honk band. All inclusive, all abilities. Yeah, Honk music. Is that like where you just show up and just honk on your instruments? Well, that's what I do because I don't know how to play. But Yvonne, well, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Yvonne's topic?

Traveling for business.

Oh, the work trip. They're so great. It's a chance to meet colleagues from all over to see new places and finally enjoy anything you want from the minibar because you're not paying. This week we heard about chaos on a work trip. Our panel is going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the waitwaiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes. All right, first up, it is Luke Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

Robert Beluku, a Ugandan delegate to the United nations, recently found himself between a rock and a hard place. As the Guardian reported this week, a UN conference in Cali, Colombia, had so many delegates in attendance that the city completely ran out of hotel rooms. So Beluku and others ended up staying at Motel Desires, an hourly rental sex motel with rooms featuring stripper poles, sex swings, circular beds and mirrors on the ceilings. The setup is quite different from other hotel rooms, said Beluku, who has now been declared Uganda's minister of understatement. But motel manager Diana Echeverri made it her goal to welcome the delegates, even cooking them a fresh breakfast each morning of eggs, coffee, and traditional Colombian bread. And it seemed to work. According to the article, the delegates kind of loved Motel Desires. We are enjoying ourselves, beluku told the Guardian. This motel is more comfortable than many of the other places we've stayed now if you can excuse me, I need to stare at my reflection in the ceiling and practice my presentation for tomorrow.

[Peter Sagal]

Delegates to a very serious UN conference in Cali, Colombia. Having to stay in a sex motel. Your next out of office message comes from Emmy Blotnick.

[Emmy Blotnick]

When Samantha Myers started her internship at a Canadian construction company, she thought it would be straightforward. She never thought she'd be sent on a clandestine business trip to broker a deal with the Quebecois mafia. According to the Globe and Mail, Samantha took some liberties under the special skills section of her resume. I saw it as an aspirational space. Samantha explained her special skills were mentalist, hostage negotiation and perfect French. Unfortunately, her skills were just the thing her employer needed to broker a major deal with a rival. They needed 100 tons of gravel at a low price, so they sent Samantha to the province to meet with the head of the construction mafia. Samantha took her can do attitude and two weeks of duolingo French to the meeting and came home with an incredible 100 tons of well made Quebecois gravy. The French word for gravel is gravier, so I got confused. But really, anyone could have made this mistake. Except, explained Samantha, the only person who could have made this mistake. The gravy will be mixed into concrete and so now all Ontario roads will smell like slow cooked beef. It's a win win.

[Peter Sagal]

A woman sent to negotiate with the Quebecois mafia to get gravel and came back with gravy instead. Your last story of getting all up in somebody's business travel comes from Bryant Babylon.

[Brian Babylon]

Archaeologists from all over the world gathered in Chicago this week for the Global Archaeology Conference were amazed by a discovery that would change everything they thought they knew about the ancient world. One exhibit booth showcased newly unearthed relics from an excavation somewhere in the Egyptian desert. Items include an ancient tablet adorned with hieroglyphics spelling out LOL and rofl, a ceremonial cup with an embedded QR code, and a clay tablet engraved with what looked like an iPhone. Professors from top universities were soon gathered around, nodding seriously with Dr. Viva Cohen, a specialist in Egypt's third dynasty, proclaiming perhaps what we have been calling hieroglyphics the whole time were secretly emojis. She spent 30 minutes analyzing the tablet until a student scanned the QR code, revealing a YouTube video of cats dressed as pharaohs. Gasp Turned to laughter as a group of PhD students revealed it was a prank. Most professors took it with stride, with Dr. Cohen laughing. It's a reminder that we need to think outside the tomb. Ha ha ha. Now if you will, I need to go look at that cat video again.

[Peter Sagal]

So something happened recently when some people left their offices at home to work abroad. Was it from Luke Burbank? Some diplomats at a serious UN conference in Cali, Columbia, having to stay at a hotel for a more hourly clientele from Emmy Blotnik, A woman who was sent by her boss to get some gravel came back with gravy instead because of her poor French orframbry in Babylon. Archaeologists gathering in Chicago were fooled by what seemed to be a discovery of ancient high technology. Which of these is the real story of a work trip? So I'm going to go with Luke's hotel sex desires. All right, well, to bring in the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who reported on that story. They took out some of the sex wings and chairs.

[Bill Curtis]

So they tried to, like, slightly desex it.

[Peter Sagal]

That was Phoebe Weston, a biodiversity reporter for the Guardian, who visited the sex hotel along with the diplomats. Congratulations, Yvonne. You got it right. Luke was, in fact, telling the truth. I see. Sometimes, dad. For once. For once. For one. And you have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose. Congratulations, Yvonne. Thank you. Thank you. Honking I will. Take care. And now, the game we call Not My job. Actor Brian Jordan Alvarez didn't wait for some network to let him do a sitcom. He spent years making TV series and movies with his friends, putting them on YouTube between his acting jobs. Finally, FX on Hulu got the hint, and his new show, English Teacher, which he created and stars in, is their latest hit. Brian Jordan Alvarez, welcome to. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Thank you for having me.

[Peter Sagal]

So welcome. You have had this remarkable career, but it. Right now, it has brought you to this new sitcom on Hulu, which everybody loves. It's called English Teacher. And for people who don't know it, it is about, in fact, an English teacher. Is that right?

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yeah, exactly. And I do. I'm. I've cast myself in the role of the titular English teacher.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. How'd you get the part? Did, like a killer audition.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

I talked to the guy who created the show and he was like, you have a good look and we want you for this. Yeah. Which was me.

[Peter Sagal]

The character is openly gay and sometimes has to deal with all these expectations that people have in him have of him.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yeah. And I accept that about him.

[Peter Sagal]

By the way. You're very.

[Luke Burbank]

You're very.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. It's very open minded for you to play. Yeah.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

I was like, it's okay.

[Peter Sagal]

You're right. That's cool.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

My own way of my own sort of Way of thinking, yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Have you been like contacted by some of the teachers you had when you were growing up saying, it's me. Isn't that that part where he's really sensitive? That's me, right?

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Not, not saying it's me, isn't it? But I have had a lot of sort of Facebook support from my. One of my teachers, Phil White, who is. He would perch on his chair. He would always be squatting on his chair and he would spill coffee all over himself. And so yeah, I had a lot of great English teachers though. Claire Reichman and Tom Gladstone and I just like to name drop my English teachers.

[Luke Burbank]

We get it.

[Peter Sagal]

So when you're crouching in a chair spilling coffee all of yourself, you say this because of the great teachers I had.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yeah, exactly.

[Peter Sagal]

The show is set obviously in the present day. Did you have to like research, like how high school has changed since you were there? Did you bring in.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

I had to research the present day because I live in the past. I'm so stuck in the past, you know. No, you know what it is, is that I'm very online, as they say. I'm sort of terminally online. Part of me, you know, a part of me that I'm always trying to improve is the part of me that can't get through most film and TV because I'm on TikTok too much. So then I think that's to the show's benefit. I sort of know, you know, how people are talking right now and what people are arguing about online. And so some of that translates.

[Peter Sagal]

So you made a name for yourself by posting all of these videos to YouTube and TikTok. You've got self made movies, you've got TV shows, you've got a video, just one I picked at random, called Dancing to Cheeseburger in paradise, which is literally just you dancing shirtless to the Jimmy Buffett song Cheeseburger in Paradise.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yes. Yeah, that, that was a lot of. These are sort of COVID outgrowths where it's like you're, you're in your apartment so long and as a creative person, you just start coming up with nonsense, basically.

[Peter Sagal]

Really? And you say, what am I gonna do today? I don't know, I'll dance around two Cheeseburger in Paradise and put it on the Internet and then I'll go have lunch. Is that like your thought process?

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yeah, it's just like, how do I keep releasing content even when my only idea is to dance in my underwear? Then I'll just, then I'll just post.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Post that you're kind of in a. You're having a big moment with that again, Brian, because you've been doing this meme, like this film. What can you offer my daughter? And the guy says nothing, and then does this dance. You've done roughly 1,000 of those in the last week.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yes.

[Brian Babylon]

1,000.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

How did you land on that?

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

So that's a TikTok trend. I saw somebody do it. I thought it was really funny. I personally, I've actually, I don't think that I'm aware I've ever been part of a sort of a traditional TikTok dancing trend until now. And so English Teacher I'm very proud of. You know, the critics loved it and a lot of people are watching it, but I wanted more people to watch it. And so I started doing this TikTok dancing trend. And I say stream English Teacher. And apparently it has quite seriously affected the numbers. And it's just sort of like people are saying they feel like they're watching like a bird do a mating call.

[Peter Sagal]

And you have used this to successfully market your relatively, I say, mainstream sitcom on Hulu, a big streaming service. Is this, like going to become a thing? Are they going to go up like Kathy Bates, who's the star of the new Matlock, and say, kathy, we need you to do something?

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Kathy, just do one I love your daughter video. Come on, it'll be amazing.

[Peter Sagal]

I have to ask her. You though about another thing you are famous for, apparently. You know, they say he's big in Japan. Well, you are big in Australia because they think you, out of all the people who attempt it, do the best fake Australian accent. Is that the case?

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Exactly. I have been on the news in Australia for how good my Australian accent is, and I've never been to Australia.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay. I've never been. And your Australian character is a weightlifter of some kind.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yeah, Rick.

[Peter Sagal]

Rick.

He's a weightlifter.

Right. And I think having set you up as the finest fake Australian accent, I think we need to hear from Rick or anyone else you might want to.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Okay.

[Brian Babylon]

Okay.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

I don't know. I don't usually do it on the spot. I'm probably going to fail. So let me. Let me say that. But let me see. Hey, guys. Just wanted to say that I'm so glad we're all here together tonight and it's a privilege to be able to talk to this crowd and to show off my amazing biceps to lift key lies and so many key lies. Something like that.

[Peter Sagal]

And I just love. I love, I Love the fact that somebody in Australia saw that and said, that man's a hero.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yeah, exactly.

[Peter Sagal]

We need to bring him onto our air just to praise him for his fake. How do you. Is there a secret to your brilliant fake Australian accent?

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Yes, it's not a secret. It's that I watched several seasons of Australia's Next Top Model, and one of the key phrases is not such a nice thing to say. But is this guy, he was talking to one of the models, he goes, look, waist up, it's great. But waist down, you've got a lot of work to do because you're not going to fit the clothes. And if you don't fit the clothes, you don't get the job.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow.

[Brian Babylon]

That was.

[Peter Sagal]

That was amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

That's exactly the speech Peter gave me backstage.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Well, Brian Jordan Alvarez, it is so much fun to talk to you, and we have asked you here to play.

A game we're calling English Teacher, Meet an English Creature.

And by English creature, we of course mean the hedgehog, that adorable spiny thingamajig that's under severe threat because apparently we just can't have good things. Answer two out of three questions about hedgehogs correctly, Brian, and you will win a prize for one of our listeners. A hedgehog? No, actually, not that voice for their voicemail message, Bill, who is Brian Jordan Alvarez playing for?

Kate Smith of Orlando, Florida.

All right, here's your first question. Hedgehogs, of course, are beloved in England. And in 2006, the Hedgehog Preservation Society, a real thing, won an important battle on behalf of the hedgehogs. Was it A, they won a court case that led to hedgehogs being legally classified as, quote, tiny spiny persons? B, every town is required to have at least one hedgehog highway. A, lane at the side of the road reserved for hedgehogs, or c, they got McDonald's to redesign their McFlurry cups because hedgehogs kept getting stuck in them.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

It's B or C, I think.

[Peter Sagal]

C. You're right, Brian. That's what happened. It took six years of lobbying and presumably television commercials with sad hedgehogs with McFlurry cups on their heads. But it did work. McDonald's did change the design of their.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

McFlurry look, and we all miss the old McFlurry cup, but you got.

[Peter Sagal]

It's all right, man. It's for the hedgehog. It's for the hedgehogs. Okay? Now, as we've established, English people love their hedgehogs, but maybe not as much as Americans do. Who went so overboard for that animal that what happened in 2019? A, the American Kennel Club had to change their rules to officially exclude hedgehogs from being entered into the Westminster Dog Show. B, the CDC had to issue a warning that kissing your hedgehog could give you a rare form of salmonella. Or C, the Met Gala kept Zendaya from entering while wearing a cape made of 24 live hedgehogs.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

I think it's B.

[Peter Sagal]

You think it's B. You're right. The CDC has put out a warning. Stop kissing your hedgehogs. It is not sanitary. Shake their paws firmly. Okay. All right, last question. You're doing very well, Brian. Hedgehogs are very familiar animals, but there are still some mysteries about them. For example, nobody knows why hedgehogs occasionally do what A, refuse to eat anything but cheese pizza, B, blow up like a balloon, or C, get into formation and do what really looks like a synchronized dance number.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

I think it's. I could be wrong, but I think.

[Peter Sagal]

It'S B, blowing up like a balloon. You're right.

[Brian Babylon]

Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

They do that.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

People do that sometimes, too.

[Brian Babylon]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Its technical name is balloon syndrome, and nobody knows exactly what causes it. It's very dangerous for the hedgehogs, and the cure, and I am very serious, is to deflate them. Whoa. Oh. Bill, how did Brian Jordan Alvarez do in our show?

He has entered a rare group. Three in a row.

[Brian Babylon]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations. Wow.

Brian.

Brian Jordan Alvarez is the creator, producer, writer, and of course, star of English teacher on Hulu. Brian Jordan Alvarez. Yes.

[Brian Jordan Alvarez]

Binge binge English teacher on Hulu. Binge English.

[Peter Sagal]

Binge it, binge it. Do not sleep, do not eat. Bye. In just a minute, Bill goes for gold in Mario Kart in the Listener Limerick challenge. Call 1- Triple-8-WAIT wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait, don't tell me from npr. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Autograph Collection hotels, offering over 300 independent hotels around the world, each exactly like nothing else. Hand selected for their inherent craft, each hotel tells its own unique story through distinctive design and immersive experiences. From medieval falconry to volcanic wine tasting, Autograph Collection is part of the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio of over 30 hotel brands around the world. Find the [e-mail] this message comes from.

[Bill Curtis]

Shipstation, your E commerce command center. Take control of your growing order volume with Shipstation's all in one shipping software that centralizes your fulfillment, automates repetitive tasks, and delivers the best carrier rates all in one place. Integrate effortlessly with over 180e commerce platforms and marketplaces. Save time and scale efficiently with features like inventory synchronization. For a free 60 day trial, go to shipstation.com NPR.

[Peter Sagal]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Emmy Blotnick and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal.

Thank you so much. In just a minute. Bill finds it hard to hold a candle in the cold November rhyme in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news Emmy. The New York Times this week made a plea to wedding planners to look out for a marginalized group of people at weddings. Who are those people?

[Emmy Blotnick]

Are they single people?

[Peter Sagal]

They are, in fact, the single people.

[Emmy Blotnick]

One of them is here.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Apparently, single people. Yes. Yes. You know, everybody's there to celebrate true love between two people. But what about the sad spinsters? Not to mention, of course, the spinstos. This article recommends, for example, that people who are organizing weddings should cancel the slow dances because those can be hard for the people without a date. The article even mentioned one woman at a wedding who felt so awkward she tried to get on the slow dance floor by dancing around with her dinner roll. What a goof. I wonder why she's single.

[Brian Babylon]

Who goes to a wedding and makes it about them? Why would you? This is my day. How dare. No, I'm not.

[Luke Burbank]

Brian Zilla.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I also think that the premise, having been married a couple of times, not to brag, the premise that the single people are the sad people misunderstands the nature of some committed relationships.

[Brian Babylon]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Heading on home doing whatever you want to do is not a bad feeling compared to tense car ride home.

[Peter Sagal]

Wait a minute.

[Luke Burbank]

So you're telling me someone tried to break out their moves to Jungle Fever at your weddings?

[Peter Sagal]

The number indeterminate at this point. You were there.

[Luke Burbank]

That's for the courts to decide.

[Peter Sagal]

You were there getting married.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Looking at the dateless people.

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

Who were leaving alone, going. Those lucky bastards.

[Luke Burbank]

Not in those moments. But I'm just saying this cultural idea that we have to feel so bad for folks who are single, like their life is such a living hell. I would just Say, spend a Saturday morning with them and see how unhelish it is.

[Brian Babylon]

Yeah, they're asleep.

[Luke Burbank]

They're asleep, they're chilling. Nobody is messing with them. It's a pretty good scene.

[Brian Babylon]

You know what? I will say I've been to some receptions and they put people at the single table. So it's that old auntie, a couple of teenagers and a few single people throw some joints on that table and keep it stepping. You know what I'm saying? Do you catch a bouquet? Go home.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm just imagining, you know, they throw the garter in the air or whatever. They throw in the air, the bouquet. Right. And some people are going, whoa. Yeah, Luke. Managers have tried a variety of incentives to get employees back in the office even this long after the pandemic. Things like ping pong tables, massage chairs. But one company in Sweden may have topped them all by adding what feature?

[Luke Burbank]

Is it experiential?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it like some kind of a trampoline or slide or.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh yes, a slide. Very much like that. I'll give it to you. It's a roller coaster.

[Luke Burbank]

A roller coaster?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. The Great Exhibition Design Studio. That's the name of the company. They made waves this week by becoming the first office in the world, as far as anyone knows, to feature a fully functional indoor roller coaster in the office. It's the perfect addition to lure back employees who love both fun and filing workmen's comp applications. The roller coaster, which has a 10 foot vertical drop and is 200ft long along its course, can carry a single rider on a trip throughout the office, through the halls and the lunchroom and the workrooms, right by the desks of all the employees who are like, good lord, Sven, I'm on a zoom call. Could you not.

[Luke Burbank]

I like the idea that if you go to this company's website, everyone's profile pic is that photo they sell you at the end.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly.

[Brian Babylon]

What have you got? Do they do that, like when you get laid off? Like you just get into the roller coaster and then you look up, you're at your car with your box.

[Peter Sagal]

That would be nice.

[Luke Burbank]

It seems like it would be, I guess, a good way to wake yourself up if it was like you're hitting that low key point in the day.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But it also seems like a tremendously poor use of, of the space of the office building, especially for just one.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Person, one person at a time. Don't you want to do that with your friends?

[Brian Babylon]

That's even more important.

[Peter Sagal]

But you can wave to the friendship.

[Brian Babylon]

No. A one person roller coaster sounds dumb.

[Luke Burbank]

What do they, what does the company manufacture or sell or do?

[Peter Sagal]

They're a design company. They do like design installation. So it's, you know, it's less surprising than if it were, say a payroll processing company.

[Luke Burbank]

It would be great if it was like Safeco Insurance.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, exactly. Coming up, it's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago or you can come see us on the road in Detroit on November 14th and at Carnegie hall in New York City on December 12th. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org Also, you can check out our sister podcast, how to Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian talked to two of your kids favorite celebrities, Josh Gad from Frozen and the secretary of transportation, Pete Buttigieg. Hi, you're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hello, this is Jenna from Cincinnati. What do you do there in Cincinnati? I am a project engineer for a large and mom to a rambunctious three year old son. How very cool. And I'm not talking about the son. I got one of those big deal. I'm talking about the steel because, you know, it's the modern world. People who call in, they're teachers, they're consultants, they're IT professionals. You make something. Yeah. It's really actually kind of cool. Right. Do you, do you like take steel home from the office? I can't say yes or no. Right. Well, Jenna, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last or phrase missing from each. He'll stop suddenly. That's when you'll know it's your turn to fill in that last word. And if you do that two times out of three, you'll be a winner. Ready to play? Yep. Let's go. Here is your first limerick though.

The slime factor's making me chokra for my health, I am going for brokra for the good of my bod. I'm distilling green pods and I'm drinking the water from okra.

Okra? Yes. Okra is the in a new health trend that is supposedly going to lower your blood pressure and aid your digestion. People online are drinking something called okra water.

[Luke Burbank]

I was worried we were drinking Oprah. No, there's only two ways that limerick ends.

[Peter Sagal]

Pretty much. Oprah would have been better. Okra water is, I am sorry to report exactly what it sounds like. It's the perfect drink for anyone who's looked at water and thought, sure, this is good, but couldn't it be more mucilaginous? So to make okra water, you just leave lots of slices of okra in water overnight, and then in the morning, you throw out the okra and you drink the bitter, gloppy liquid that's left over. The trend started after someone said, you know, I'd like to drink my own snot, but there's not enough of it.

[Brian Babylon]

What if. What if Rocky Balboa did that in the morning?

[Peter Sagal]

He never no that stuff. He never would have had a boxing career.

[Brian Babylon]

Never.

[Peter Sagal]

Down, walked away. That's too gross.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast makes raw eggs in his okra water.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no one's thick as Gaston.

[Brian Babylon]

So is this.

[Emmy Blotnick]

No one lives like.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Jenna, here is your next limerick.

Though the Internet answered with rage. I did not lock my tot in a cage. I merely chose paint that is boring and faint. Now, the baby's room's color is beige.

Beige. Yes, that's right. Instead of the bright primary colors that we're all used to with children's stuff, more and more baby toys and decor and clothing is being made in beige and other neutral colors. Even the beloved TV character Bluey has become beige. Y.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, there is a shortage of accountants in America and the only way to get more of them is raise them in a beige bedroom.

[Peter Sagal]

Babies, here is your last limerick.

Though not buff, I won't fave any shaming with controllers on screens. I am aiming new Olympic events will appear four years hence. I'll be getting a medal in gaming.

Yes, yes, very good.

Three in a row. Wow.

An official at the International Olympic Committee said receive that they quote cannot ignore the staggering numbers unquote of video game players out there. So video games will probably be added to the Olympics sometime in the near Future, say by 2032, when the top medal winners in the games will be the U.S. china and the mushroom kingdom.

[Brian Babylon]

So this is going to replace because they breakdancing clearly.

[Luke Burbank]

So thanks Ray gun.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, Bill, how did Jenna do in her quiz?

Jenna is solid as steel. Three in a row.

Congratulations, Jenna. Thank you all so much. Jenna, take care. You too. Bye bye.

[Bill Curtis]

This message comes from Wise, the app for doing things in other currencies. Send, spend or receive money internationally and always get the real time mid market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Download the Wise app today or visit wise.com Ts and Cs apply.

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This message comes from Progressive Insurance, where drivers who switch could save hundreds on car insurance. Get your [e-mail] today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

[Peter Sagal]

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

Luke has four. Emmy and Brian each have two.

All right, so I'm just going to arbitrarily choose Brian to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

[Brian Babylon]

Okay.

[Peter Sagal]

On Monday, federal authorities started an investigation into the fires that destroyed blanks in Oregon and Washington.

[Brian Babylon]

Wildfires.

[Peter Sagal]

No ballot boxes this time, but yeah.

[Brian Babylon]

They were, like, wild in there.

[Peter Sagal]

On Tuesday, the the CDC confirmed that 15 people contracted E. Coli linked to food from blank.

[Brian Babylon]

McDonald's.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. On Wednesday, rescue workers confirmed that 1200 people were still trapped after Spain experienced massive, disastrous blanking floods. Right. Saying they pose a risk to their health. Schools throughout the country are banning students from blanking.

[Brian Babylon]

Tweet, texting.

[Peter Sagal]

No. Wearing Crocs. The shoes. On Monday, Apple unveiled the first features of their new blank feature.

[Brian Babylon]

Artificial intelligence.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Apple intelligence, it's called. Best known for her roles in Young Frankenstein and Tootsie Blank, passed away at the age of 79. Damn.

[Brian Babylon]

Terry Garr.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, a pizzeria in Wisconsin apologized to customers after they ran out of cooking oil and ended up using blank instead.

[Brian Babylon]

French fry oil?

[Peter Sagal]

No, cannabis oil. You know how it is. You run out of oil for your pizza you're making in a communal kitchen, and accidentally, you grab the bottle that somebody else was using to make pot brownies. About 70 customers reported getting super high after eating the pizza, which is, of course, the reverse order of the way it usually happens. Things got even worse when the restaurant ran out of those little parmesan cheese packets and thought, well, we'll just send these little baggies of white powder instead. Yeah, Bill, how did Brian, do. In our quiz.

Four. Right. Eight more points. A total of 10 puts him in the lead.

All right, Emmy, you're up next. Here we go. Fill in the blank. According to a new report, Elon Musk has been in regular contact with blank for at least two years.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Putin.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. After serving 120 days in prison, former Trump chief of staff Blank was released on Monday.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Steve Bannon.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, the Los Angeles Dodgers beat the New York Yankees to win their eighth blank championship.

[Emmy Blotnick]

World Series.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Wednesday, Starbucks announced they would no longer charge extra for blank.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Like one of those.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Yes. Non dairy milks. This week, a group of skateboarders fulfilled the wishes of their recently deceased friend. By blanking.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Quitting?

[Peter Sagal]

No, by turning Zetstone into a quarter pipe skating ramp for the first time in 130 years. The peaks of Mount Fuji in Japan don't have any blank on them in October.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Snow.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Passengers flying from Seattle to Anchorage were outraged this month after a man blanked while in flight. Seattle to Anchorage, not important. Okay.

All right.

Not even sure why I mentioned it.

[Emmy Blotnick]

What did he do, Peter?

[Peter Sagal]

He opened a can of tuna.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Oh, no.

[Peter Sagal]

So a tiktoker named Allie Jackson was sitting there and she started filming when the person sitting next to her just reached into his bag, pulled out a can of tuna, popped it open, and just started eating it with a fork. The Ismael quickly filled up the plane, which was terrible for everyone except that family of cats traveling in row 34. Bill, how did Emmy do in our quiz?

Really good. Five.

Right.

Ten more points. Her total of 12 puts her in the lead.

All right, so how many then does Luke Burbank need to win?

4 to tie, 5 to win.

Not impossible, Luke. Here we go. Ready? This is for the game. Fill in the blank. After their opinion editor was prevented from publishing a presidential endorsement by their owner, over 250,000 people canceled their subscription to.

[Luke Burbank]

The Blank Washington Post.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. In a move that sparked international outcry, Israel banned the UN group supporting refugees from Blank Gaza. Right. This week, several economic experts confirmed that America has managed to avoid a blank recession. Right. On Monday, a new rule went into effect requiring airlines to automatically refund passengers whose flights are blanked, delayed, right, or canceled. This week, a Canadian man was arrested for driving under the influence after he was caught blanking.

[Luke Burbank]

Drinking maple syrup.

[Peter Sagal]

No.

Driving a Zamboni into the sides of an ice rink while dressed as a kangaroo. On Thursday, the USDA announced plans to test raw milk for blank.

[Luke Burbank]

Botulism?

[Peter Sagal]

No. Bird flu. After months of complaints online about Their portion size announced they were returning to, quote, consistent and generous portions.

[Luke Burbank]

Chipotle.

[Peter Sagal]

Right after residents of the UK started posting pictures of the northern lights on social media, authorities revealed that blank.

[Luke Burbank]

It was. It was a children's drawing of the northern lights.

[Peter Sagal]

No, they're actually just the light shining up from a tomato factory. A recent Stoller storm has caused the aurora borealis to be visible far closer to the equator than any time in recent history. Sadly, this, though, was not that. This was the lights from the plant over there that processed tomatoes. If you're wondering how to tell the difference, the clues were the glow in the sky was shining upwards and it was red. And some observers reported the moon hitting their eye like a big pizza pie.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Bill, did Luke do well enough to win?

5. Right. 10 more points. 14 gives him the win.

[Brian Babylon]

Good job, Luke.

[Peter Sagal]

Luke. Luke. Luke. Luke. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists. Now that we know that animals drink alcohol, what will be the next surprising vice that we learn they have? But first, let me tell you all that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Goteker writes our Limerex. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell. Special thanks this week to our old friend Gary Yeck. And thanks, as always, to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Doernboss and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson and Monica Hickey. Our intimacy coordinator is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical interactionist from Lorna White. Her CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Shillock. And the executive producer. Wait, wait, don't tell me. That's Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what wild things will animals be getting up to? Brian Babylon.

[Brian Babylon]

It comes to find out that McGruff the crime dog has been selling drugs the whole time.

[Peter Sagal]

That's what he keeps under the trench coat. Makes perfect sense. Emmy Blotnick.

[Emmy Blotnick]

Horses are doing human tranquilizers.

[Peter Sagal]

And Luke Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

They'll become addicted to gambling. But the slot machines, when they come up. Cherries. It will be actual cherries.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it right here on. Wait, Wait. Don't tell them.

Thank you so much, Bill Curtis. Thanks to Brian Babylon. Emmy Blotnick. And Luke Burbank, thanks to our fabulous audience who came out to see us at the Stud Theater, and thanks to all of you for listening out there, wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagel, and we'll see you next week. This is npr.

[Bill Curtis]

This message comes from NPR sponsor Shopify, the global commerce platform that helps you sell and show up exactly the way you want to customize your online store to your style. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com NPR this message.

Comes from Oracle Cloud Infrastructure. Growing businesses can cut their cloud bill in half when moving to Oracle Cloud infrastructure for new U.S. customers with minimum financial commitment. Offer ends December 31, 2024. Oracle.com NPR this message comes from Lisa. Good sleep should come naturally. And with the new Natural Hybrid mattress, it can. A collaboration between Lisa and West Elm, the Natural Hybrid is expertly crafted from natural latex wool and certified safe foams to elevate your sleep sanctuary and support a greener tomorrow. Plus, every purchase helps fuel Lisa's work with shelters and those in need. Visit Lisa.com to learn more. That's Leesha.com.