WWDTM: GWAR

Summary

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! – GWAR Edition Host: Peter Sagal | Release Date: February 15, 2025 | NPR

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Introduction

In the February 15, 2025 episode of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, hosted by Peter Sagal, NPR brings together a panel of comedic talents and a special guest appearance by the legendary shock metal band GWAR. Filmed at the Altria Theater in Richmond, Virginia, the episode promises a blend of humor, insightful commentary, and entertaining quizzes that test both the panelists' and listeners' knowledge of current events.

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Panel Introduction and Opening Remarks

Peter Sagal opens the show with enthusiasm, introducing the stand-in host Chioki Ianson and welcoming the panelists:

• Adam Burke – A comedian known for his "Shaking With Laughter" cocktail hour comedy show.
• Negin Farsad – Comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation.
• Alzo Slade – Emmy and Peabody Award-winning journalist and host of the Nat Geo show What X Does to You.

Peter shares anecdotes about GWAR, highlighting their Richmond roots and four-decade-long career, setting the stage for an engaging episode.

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First Quiz Segment: "Who Said That?"

Chioki Ianson kicks off the first quiz game by reading out three humorous news-related quotations. The panelists must identify or explain two of them to win a prize.

1. Asteroid Threats

   • Quote: “Whoever just started having an affair, God saw you.” [02:25]
   • Discussion: The panel humorously debates NASA's updated 1 in 43 chance of a giant asteroid hitting Earth in 2032, riffing on the uncertainty of its impact location.
   • Notable Quote: Alzo Slade quips, “I think the asteroid needs to chill, bro. Like, we don't have time for this.” [03:57]

2. Elimination of the Penny

   • Quote: “President Donald Trump announced he will be ordering the US treasury to stop minting pennies.” [04:48]
   • Discussion: The panel teases the absurdity of eliminating the only coin of color, with Adam Burke sarcastically noting Trump's dislike for brown faces.
   • Notable Quote: Alzo Slade remarks, “The problem was Lincoln emancipated the enslaved. That's the big deal. And one brown penny, That’s a DEI coin.” [05:14]

3. France's Noise Fine

   • Quote: “A man in France was fined $200 for talking loudly on speakerphone in public.” [06:25]
   • Discussion: The panel mocks the strict public behavior regulations in France, imagining exaggerated scenarios of over-the-top fines.
   • Notable Quote: Alzo Slade jokes, “The people who do the Bluetooth. Like, they're just talking into air.” [07:44]

Result: Listener contestant Nick Fish correctly identifies all three quotes, earning a prize.

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Second Quiz Segment: "Bluff the Listener"

In this segment, the panelists present three elaborate stories about how someone saved $1.2 million, with only one being true. The goal is for listeners to guess the authentic tale.

1. Negin Farsad’s Story:

   • False Fact: An oil tycoon builds a backyard water park that leads to personal losses. [15:39]

2. Adam Burke’s Story:

   • True Fact: Beavers in the Czech Republic construct a dam, saving the town $1.2 million by eliminating the need for human-built infrastructure.
   • Notable Quote: Adam humorously praises the beavers, stating, “Beavers save a town in the Czech Republic $1.2 million by building a dam before they could get around to it.” [20:24]

3. Alzo Slade’s Story:

   • False Fact: An IT intern unknowingly cancels company subscriptions, but their accidental strategy saves the company money. [18:14]

Result: Listener Will correctly identifies Adam Burke’s beaver story as the true one, securing a prize.

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Guest Appearance: GWAR

The episode takes a thrilling turn with the appearance of members Mike Dirks and Mike Bishop from GWAR, a band renowned for their theatrical shock metal performances and elaborate costumes.

• Origins and Characters:

  • GWAR was formed in 1984 by art students and musicians at Virginia Commonwealth University.
  • Mike Dirks discusses his character evolution from "Beefcake the Mighty" to "Berserker Blothar."
  • Notable Quote: Dirks describes GWAR as “a theatrical shock rock, shock heavy metal band that is very performative on stage.” [21:54]

• Costumes and Performances:

  • Peter Sagal marvels at GWAR’s intricate costumes, comparing them favorably to other bands like Kiss.
  • The band members elaborate on their commitment to maintaining their characters even offstage, emphasizing the separation between their onstage personas and personal lives.

• NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert:

  • Peter references GWAR’s unique Tiny Desk concert where they performed in full regalia, eliciting mixed reactions from NPR staff.
  • Notable Interaction: Mike Bishop humorously recounts the NPR team’s enthusiastic yet frightened response to their appearance. [25:44]

• Connection to Richmond:

  • GWAR members mention their involvement with a local Gwar bar in Richmond, highlighting their continued influence and presence in the community.
  • Notable Quote: Mike Bishop says, “We'll get people in there all the time. I'll be bartending, and people will come up and ask me, like, do the guys in GWAR ever hang out here? Not very often, no.” [26:56]

Result: GWAR members engage in a fun-filled Q&A, discussing their longevity, fan interactions, and unique stage personas, providing listeners with fascinating insights into the band’s enduring appeal.

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Final Quiz Segment: "Lightning Fill in the Blank"

In a high-energy finale, the panelists race against the clock to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as possible within 60 seconds. Each correct answer earns points towards winning prizes.

1. Negin Farsad’s Round:

   • Topics range from political negotiations to natural disasters.
   • Notable Answer: Negin correctly fills in "Ukraine" and "Super Bowl" among others, leading her to secure the lead with 12 points.

2. Adam Burke’s Round:

   • Rapid-fire questions touch on economics, international affairs, and pop culture.
   • Notable Answer: Adam quickly identifies "The Kennedy Center" and "Westminster Dog Show," boosting his score to 15 points.

3. Alzo Slade’s Round:

   • Focuses on technology mishaps and quirky news stories.
   • Notable Answer: Alzo nails answers like “Gaza” and “Fatberg,” ultimately winning the segment with 17 points.

Result: Alzo Slade emerges as the week’s quiz champion, earning accolades and a prize for his swift and accurate responses.

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Listener Interaction and Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with a forward look to future segments, including a "Listener Limerick Challenge" encouraging audience participation. Peter Sagal also teases an upcoming bonus episode where he will become the questioner, inviting listeners to submit their queries.

As the show concludes, viewers are reminded of the dedicated production team and contributors who make each episode of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! a vibrant and entertaining experience.

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Notable Quotes:

• Alzo Slade: “The asteroid needs to chill, bro. Like, we don't have time for this.” [03:57]
• Alzo Slade: “The problem was Lincoln emancipated the enslaved. That's the big deal. And one brown penny, that’s a DEI coin.” [05:14]
• Negin Farsad: “Nature conservation can be a slow process, what with the red tape, bureaucracy, and complaints from trees that never consented to being hugged in the first place.” [17:01]
• Mike Dirks (GWAR): “We are satirical, funny, theatrical show that involves a lot of costuming and set pieces and phony executions and, oh, that old saw.” [21:54]
• Chiochi Ianson: “Nick the fish got all three right.” [08:58]
• Alzo Slade: “I'm just so boring.” [42:30]

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Conclusion

The Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! – GWAR Edition successfully blends humor, current events, and musical flair, providing listeners with an engaging and entertaining experience. From witty banter and insightful commentary to the electrifying presence of GWAR, this episode exemplifies why NPR’s news quiz remains a staple for those seeking both laughter and knowledge.

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About GWAR

Formed in 1984, GWAR is renowned for their over-the-top costumes, satirical performances, and elaborate stage shows that combine elements of shock rock and heavy metal. Hailing from Richmond, Virginia, GWAR has maintained a dedicated fan base for over four decades, continually pushing the boundaries of theatrical music performances.

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Stay Connected

For more episodes and updates, visit NPR’s Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! website or follow them on social media at waitnpr.org.

Transcript

[Pemco Mutual Insurance]

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[Chioki Ianson]

From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. Put on your winter boots, because I'm the voice so smooth you might slip. Filling in for Bill Curtis, I'm Chioki Ianson, and here is your host at the Altria Theater in Richmond, Virginia, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Chiochi. Thank you, everybody. We are so delighted to be back in Richmond with the true mayor of this city, Choki Jensen, filling in just one more time for Bill Curtis. Now, later on, we're going to be talking to two members of the shock metal band gwar, famed for their costumes and their stunts and their headbands. Banging music. Now, the band was formed by art students and musicians right here in Richmond 40 years ago, meaning this band has gone all the way from having dads yell, why are you kids listening to that noise? To dads yelling, hey, kids, listen to this noise. But first, we want to hear what you're playing, whatever it might be. Give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You are on Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. My name is Nick Fish and I'm calling in from Philadelphia. Nick Fish. Nick Fish. That's it. Not, not Nick the Fish who'd be kind of like a notorious gangster, but just Nick Fish.

[Chioki Ianson]

That'd be Jersey if I.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Well, welcome to the show, Nick. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a comedian who'll be bringing his cocktail hour comedy show Shaking With Laughter to the Kansas City Irish center in Kansas city, Missouri, on February 20th. That's Adam Burke.

[Adam Burke]

Hi, Nick.

[Chioki Ianson]

Hey, Adam.

[Peter Sagal]

Next, he's a comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation. It's Nagin Farsad. Hello. And the Emmy and Peabody Award winning journalist and comedian and host of the new Nat Geo show what X Does to youo Body. It's Alzo Slade.

[Alzo Slade]

What's up, Luke?

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, Alzo, you're gonna play who's Chiocchi this time? Chioki I Anson of Richmond, Virginia, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show. You might choose in your voicemail. Are you ready to go?

[Chioki Ianson]

Let's do it.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here is your first quote.

[Chioki Ianson]

So about that asteroid.

[Peter Sagal]

That was a headline in the Atlantic. On the news that a giant asteroid out in space now even has a better chance of doing what would that be hitting Earth? Yes, hitting Earth. Updated calculations from NASA say that the asteroid flying by Earth in 2032. That is going to happen. Well, it now has a 1 in 43 chance of hitting Earth. Just last week, we were told the asteroid only had a 1 in 100 chance. So whoever just started having an affair, God saw you. Now, NASA is referring to it as a potential quote, a city killer. A city killer that really freaked people out. But then everybody said, wait, which city?

[Alzo Slade]

I think the asteroid needs to chill, bro. Like, we don't have time for this. We got enough problems going on on Earth, so. Or we need to get Bruce Willis and his homies to jump on that thing and bust it up.

[Negin Farsad]

Or we just need another round of tariffs, but this time on the asteroid.

[Peter Sagal]

That'll keep it away. They do everything.

[Negin Farsad]

They do everything.

[Peter Sagal]

Now, even though they can calculate whether or not it will hit Earth within some degree of specificity, there's no way of knowing where the asteroid might hit. But you know. You know it's going to be Greenland right after we buy it.

[Negin Farsad]

I know. Just when you drive a country out of the.

[Peter Sagal]

What the asteroid hits.

[Adam Burke]

Well, fortunately, I've been practicing a video game since 1982.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, your next quote is from a headline in the New York Times that was kind of worried about a big news story this week.

[Chioki Ianson]

What becomes of penny loafers?

[Peter Sagal]

They were worried about a new presidential order. To get rid of what?

[Chioki Ianson]

The penny?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, the penny. President Donald Trump announced he will be ordering the US treasury to stop minting pennies. Big surprise. He's getting rid of the only coin of color.

[Adam Burke]

Yeah, he really doesn't like brown faces, even when it's Lincoln.

[Peter Sagal]

It's true.

[Alzo Slade]

The problem was Lincoln emancipated the enslaved. That's the big deal. And one brown penny, That's a DEI coin.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, exactly. That's the only reason it got in your pocket. I'm sure Trump did this the same week that he announced he was also getting rid of paper straws, which also everybody hates. This feels like a win. Win. But then Trump also announced that from now on, all straws will be made of melted pennies. Nobody knows. I mean, he's been so sort of impulsive. Nobody knows exactly why he came up with this. He might just be governing based on what he finds in his pocket. That's why he also just declared war on chapstick and lint.

[Alzo Slade]

I don't think Chapstick in his pocket. His lips are always ashy.

[Adam Burke]

When we get rid of pennies, what are we going to put on corpses eyes? Or does like, do they take bitcoin and Hades now?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, you can't put a bitcoin on a railroad track. You got a smushed one that's not going to work. And you know, you just know we're never going to get that Harriet Tubman 20. Just give it up. All right, very good. Here is your last quote.

[Chioki Ianson]

I thought the officer was joking, then she pulled out her notebook and fined me.

[Peter Sagal]

Now, that was a man in France, and he was the first of what we hope will be many people around the world to get fined. For doing what in public? I have no idea.

[Chioki Ianson]

Can I get a hint?

[Peter Sagal]

Well, it's an obscure story, but I think you'll find it a welcome one. He could have avoided the fine if he had just spent the money for headphones.

[Alzo Slade]

Oh.

[Chioki Ianson]

Listening to music on the subway or in public?

[Peter Sagal]

Close enough.

[Adam Burke]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Using his phone on speaker in public at full volume. Prison. It is now illegal in France. Finally, a judge has ruled. In the case of me versus literally everyone else on this planet, this man was fined about $200 for talking to his sister at four full volume in a crowded train station. And if $200 doesn't seem like the right punishment, remember, France no longer has the death penalty.

[Adam Burke]

I'm surprised the French went for this, because I've seen Les Miserables and they love just standing around yelling their soliloquies at each other.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Negin Farsad]

Can I defend this guy for a second?

[Alzo Slade]

No, no, no, no.

[Negin Farsad]

I'm just saying that it is a slippery slope because once we let all these things be fine and we're just letting big etiquette take over and dictate everything we do, I'm okay with it.

[Alzo Slade]

And the next on the list is the people who do the Bluetooth. Like, they're just talking into air.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Adam Burke]

Can I say big etiquette sounds like a French gangster.

[Alzo Slade]

Big etiquette.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Alzo Slade]

I could whoop his ass.

[Adam Burke]

He just kicks into a room and goes. Forks go on the left.

[Peter Sagal]

And not only, I gotta say, not only is this rude to the people who happen to be around you, it's actually unfair to the people you're talking to. Like, so you say like, Helen, I'm really sorry you have Chlamydia. That's tough. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. You're on speaker and I'm in church.

[Alzo Slade]

Or it could be the inverse, where the person on speaker is telling you that you have chlamydia, which is even worse.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah. I don't know that we need a law for this. I mean, the astronaut is coming here.

[Negin Farsad]

And the asteroid has a point.

[Peter Sagal]

It's really true. Yeah. Joki, how did Nick do in our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

Nick the fish got all three right.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Nick. Yes. Congratulations, Nick. You have made Philly proud.

[Chioki Ianson]

Thanks so much, Peter.

[Peter Sagal]

Good to talk to you. Take care. Bye. Bye. Panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Adam. Thanks to a new technology, more and more couples are discussing whether or not it would be permissible for one of them to do.

[Adam Burke]

What is it? Like, is it the. You know, is it the hall pass thing? Is it like.

[Peter Sagal]

It is a hall pass, but not with another person.

[Adam Burke]

Oh, is it. Oh, is this a. Is this a bangin robots thing?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, it is a bangin robots thing.

[Adam Burke]

But you can't spell laid without AI.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true. Yes. More and more couples are sort of getting, you know, getting prepared for when the time comes when you can do this. If it would be okay for their partner to cheat with a robot. According to a survey that seemed to be exclusively offered to complete freaks, one out of four people say they would be okay with their partner cheating with a robot. But if and only if. And I swear to you this is true, if the robot's appearance was based on them. What? The person being cheated on. Right.

[Alzo Slade]

What does.

[Negin Farsad]

I would be so jealous. I'd be like, you're coming home smelling like titanium. No, thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Is that motor oil on your collar?

[Adam Burke]

And how do you first suspect? Like, does the electricity bill look really high?

[Peter Sagal]

It is so weird that that is the condition under which it would. Okay. It's like, oh, my spouse prefers intimacy with a machine. That's humiliating. Wait, it's also balding with a spare tire. Now it's validating.

[Adam Burke]

Wait, so this is. This is laziness. This is like, I don't want to have sex with you. Let the robot do it. Yeah, it's basically me.

[Peter Sagal]

It's kind of.

[Negin Farsad]

I mean, it kind of makes sense, like, to just have an understudy, I guess.

[Alzo Slade]

A what? What?

[Negin Farsad]

You know, like, in theater, you have an understudy if you can't perform.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Negin Farsad]

And in this situation, the robot is your understudy.

[Adam Burke]

Yeah.

[Alzo Slade]

What is? What is? What is.

[Adam Burke]

Yeah, but what if it's like that thing in those old movies where the understudy is better?

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Burke]

The understudy becomes the star.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah. It's like All About Eve.

[Alzo Slade]

It's terrible, you know, but you have to practice safe sex with a robot. You do firewalls, you know.

[Adam Burke]

You'Re like, honey, it's not that kind of virus.

[Alzo Slade]

I swear. It's just rust.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, as Ben Franklin said, $1.2 million saved is $1.2 million earned. It's our bluff, the listener game. Call 1-88- wait, wait to play it. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me from npr. Hey, it's Peter Sagal. Before we get back to the show, I wanted to tell you about a special bonus episode we're working on, one in which we turn the tables in which the questioner is questioned. That's right. We need your questions. For me, I'm doing an ama, you know, like, ask me anything where you can ask me about let me check the rules here. Oh, yeah, anything. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, and leave us your question again. That's 1-888-924-8924. We'll pick the best ones, and I will answer them in an upcoming bonus episode. So if you want to hear it, make sure you're signed up for NPR. If you're not, just head over to plus.NPR.org and fix that quick.

[Ron Rutson]

This message comes from NPR sponsor Saatva Founder and CEO Ron Rutson shares the experience they hope to create in their viewing rooms.

[Peter Sagal]

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[Ron Rutson]

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[Chioki Ianson]

At saatva.com NPR support for NPR and.

[Peter Sagal]

The following message come from GoodRx. More than a third of Americans are living with a heart condition. If you're looking to save on heart medications, GoodRx offers 30 popular heart medications, all under $30. GoodRx compares prescription prices at over 70,000 pharmacies and finds discounts of up to 80%. Even if you have insurance or Medicare, GoodRx may beat your co. Pay for savings on heart medications plus other everyday medications. Go to goodrx.com wait.

[Pemco Mutual Insurance]

This message comes from PEMCO Mutual Insurance Company. You know that moment when things take an unexpected turn and you get that sudden sinking feeling that maybe it could have been avoided? Pemco Insurance wants to help you avoid that feeling by sharing prevention tips that empower you to prevent some of life's preventable pitfalls. Because Pemco's commitment to their customers goes beyond the moment of acclaim, it's about being with their customers every day. [e-mail] Prevention.

[Chioki Ianson]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't TELL Me the NPR News Quiz. I'm Shioki Ianson. We're playing this week with Adam Burke, Alzo Slade and Nagain Farsaddle. And here again is your host at the Altria Theatre in Richmond, Virginia, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Chiochi. Thank you everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, don't tell me bluff the listener game. Call 1-888-wait- wait to play our game on air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, atweightnpr. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Will from Boston, Massachusetts. Hey, I love Boston. What do you do there, Will? So I work as a coordinator for the visual performing arts department of a local school district. That's really good work. I really appreciate it. What do you do to enjoy yourself? I like to ride bikes when it's not cold and slushy outside like it is today. Right. So that's two or three days of great riding in Boston. Well, welcome to the show, Will. You're going to play our game when Majima's trying to tell truth from fiction. Joki, what is Will's topic?

[Chioki Ianson]

$1.2 million saved.

[Peter Sagal]

Everybody would love to save an extra one, $1.2 million, but act fast. Your opportunity to get it as 120 million pennies is fast running out. Our panelists are going to tell you about someone who was able to save $1.2 million in a unique way. Pick the one who's telling the truth and win the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Ready to go? I'm ready. Alright. First, let's hear from Negeen Farsad.

[Negin Farsad]

Hollis Benton is a third generation oil tycoon from Lockhart, Texas, which means he didn't have to prospect land. But he did get a a few years after college to discover his passion for DJing in Ibiza. Eventually, he moved back home to be his family's overseer of oil money. And that's when he met Bridget Calhoun. She was a real charmer getting her PhD in antiquities, and he fell hard to impress her. He would buy concert tickets, Michelin starred meals, a straight up yacht in a landlocked town. But never mind. One time they took her nephew to a water park and she said, this is fun. Well, that was all the encouragement he needed because he immediately hired a water park architect to transform his backyard into a $1.2 million splashetarium, complete with lazy river and wave pool. Only thing is, that water park architect turned out to be a real dream boat. She ended up leaving Hollis Benton and all his wealth. On the upside, he saved money, proving the old adage, if you have to spend $1.2 million on a water park to impress your boo, she's probably not the one.

[Peter Sagal]

A tycoon saves 1.2 million when he doesn't have to build a water park for his goo. Your next deep discount comes from Adam Burke.

[Adam Burke]

Nature conservation can be a slow process, what with the red tape, bureaucracy, and complaints from trees that never consented to being hugged in the first place. Take the Czech Republic, for example, where government officials were poised to act on a plan seven years in the making to build a $1.2 million dam designed to help preserve a protected wetlands area. Construction on the dam was just about to begin when it was suddenly and unexpectedly derailed by the fact that a bunch of beavers had gone ahead and built a far better dam the weekend before. Not only that, they'd used nothing but locally sourced, sustainable and renewable materials, all at no cost to the taxpayer. While farmers often decry beavers as a destructive nuisance, felling trees and creating toothy mayhem, these particular rodents seem to have filled out all of the required permits and permissions, building as they did, far from any inhabited farm. We get it, Beavers. You're better than us.

[Peter Sagal]

Beavers save a town in the Czech Republic $1.2 million by building a dam before they could get around to it. Your last story on sale comes from Alzo Slade.

[Alzo Slade]

Henry Jackson, the CEO of a graphic design company in Tempe, Arizona, thought he was doing his sister a favor by hiring his nephew, Rob Phillips, to work in the IT department as a low level intern. He just graduated from a vocational IT school, thinking he's going to be the next Steve Jobs. To the extent that he requested people address him as Rob Jobs, the very first task assigned to Rob was just to renew the company's various software subscriptions. Instead, he canceled all of them permanently and had no idea how to undo it. In A panic. He realized he could take advantage of the various companies free trial offers, but for each, he'd have to open a new account. So, quote, Bilbo J. Baggins gets two weeks of autocad. And Dr. Mundo, a champion from the video game League of legends, got 50% off of scheduling software by using the code. Wait, wait. At checkout the next Monday, he got called into his uncle's office, where instead of being fired, he was praised for saving the company $1.2 million by getting all of that software for free. He doesn't know what he'll do when the free trials start to expire in two weeks. And Bilbo Baggins gets a bill. But like his idol, Mr. Jobs, he just plans to think different.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, somebody saved $1.2 million. Was it from Negeen Farsad, an oil tycoon who ended having to build that water park in his backyard when the designer ran off with his lady friend? From Adam Burke, a Czech town that didn't have to build that dam because the beavers did it for them. Or from Alzo's Slade, a bad IT guy, manages to cancel all the software subscriptions for his company, but the free Trials save them $1.2 million. Which one is the real story of big savings? I think I'm gonna go with Adam's story about the beavers. That would be Adam Burke. One thing appeals to you. You think that the story. I'm sorry, you think that the story about the beavers is the tooth. All right, the whole tooth. Well, to bring you the correct answer, here's somebody who could speak to that real story.

[Mike Bishop]

Environmental experts confirmed that the work was actually better than their original plans, noting that beavers always know best.

[Peter Sagal]

That was Tick hatgoodnewsgirl talking about the real story about how beavers did it best in the Czech Republic. Congratulations, Will. You got it right. You earned a point for Adam. You have won our prize. The voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us today. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Will. Take care.

[Alzo Slade]

Saki building. Gotta get it, yeah we on the move Stack your building Gotta get it, yeah we on the move.

[Peter Sagal]

And now, the game we call not my job. In 1984, a group of musicians and art students at Virginia Commonwealth University started a new band, kind of as a joke, with players in elaborate costumes and even more elaborate fictional backstories. Forty years later, GWAR is still going strong, playing over the top bloody stage shows around the world. They're still based in Richmond and members Mike Bishop and Mike Dirks join us now. Dirks and Bishop of gwar, welcome to. Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Mike Dirks]

Good to be here.

[Peter Sagal]

Now for anyone. I mean, it's been 40 years, so everybody should know who you are. But for the few people who don't. Can you describe what GWAR is? Because it is absolutely like nothing else I've ever seen or heard.

[Mike Dirks]

It's a theatrical shock rock, shock heavy metal band that is very performative on stage. And we are satirical, funny, theatrical show that involves a lot of costuming and set pieces and phony executions and, oh, that old saw.

[Peter Sagal]

Quite literally, they use a saw sometimes.

[Mike Dirks]

We're also from outer space, though. We have a narrative.

[Blothar the Berserker]

Or is a band of extraterrestrial war gods that has been banished to the planet Earth for all the crimes they committed in outer space.

[Peter Sagal]

And do you remember the original name of the band?

[Alzo Slade]

It was Gua.

[Blothar the Berserker]

But that didn't fit on the marquee.

[Peter Sagal]

So just. And you two were right there in the beginning. And when you joined the band, did you pick your own characters?

[Blothar the Berserker]

I inherited mine. I am Balzac the the Jaws of.

[Peter Sagal]

Death, Ball Sack, the Jaws of Death.

[Blothar the Berserker]

And I was the third Jaws of Death. There had been a couple incarnations because the first few shows that Gore played, they were. It was just a collective of whoever, whatever artists and musicians they could grab from VCU and the surrounding areas to throw on these costumes and do a show.

[Adam Burke]

Yeah, I love how folksy that sounds. You know, like my father is Mr. Balzac. Call me Balzac. But his grandfather was the Jaws of Death and his grandfather before me.

[Peter Sagal]

And Bishop, who are you on stage?

[Mike Dirks]

So originally I was Beefcake the Mighty, who was the bass player.

[Peter Sagal]

Beefcake has some fans here.

[Mike Dirks]

Yeah. And I did create the character along with Don Draculich, who's one of the artists in the band. You know, just sort of developed it over time. Now I am the singer following the passing of the original lead singer, Dave Brocki, who everybody knows and loves. And I came back and now I play the Berserker Blowthar.

[Peter Sagal]

The Berserker Blothar. And for people who haven't seen it, these costumes you wear are not just. I mean, like. Like the guys from Kiss, for example, are just amateurs when it comes to you guys. You've got like enormous headpieces and huge full body costumes that often have, shall we say, over the top anatomy.

[Mike Dirks]

Oh, yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah.

[Alzo Slade]

I think you guys. I think you guys should show up in those costumes. To one of the Civil War reenactments.

[Peter Sagal]

See what they think. And one of the things that I find fascinating is you guys usually don't do any appearances not in costume. And you're not in costume right now.

[Mike Dirks]

Yes, that's right.

[Peter Sagal]

And how does it feel?

[Blothar the Berserker]

It's really odd. We usually have the characters to put on and to hide behind, and so we always know how to behave. We never really had to just be ourselves.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Alzo Slade]

I mean, don't we all do that ultimately?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Even if we don't have enormous, fleshy protuberances, it's really. It's something we all deal with. This is not your first time in npr, because famously, GWAR did a Tiny Desk concert. This is true. And. And you are. I'm not a. You know, I'm not an absolute expert, but I do believe you were the first musicians ever to play a song at Tiny Desk called Sex Cow. Yeah, probably. I mean, Regina Spector tried, but she just didn't have jobs. By the way, I recommend everybody watch this. When you walked into NPR headquarters in the full guar regalia, what was the reaction from our colleagues there?

[Blothar the Berserker]

It was enthusiastic. No, they made us go around the whole studios, and I think Michael was on. What were they? What were they?

[Mike Dirks]

Yeah, they were kind of using us to scare their.

[Peter Sagal]

Wait a minute. What do you mean? It'd be like, hey, Scott Simon, could you step out of the office just for a second?

[Mike Dirks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Sylvia.

[Adam Burke]

I love the thought of someone showing up to NPR for the first day, seeing you guys and, like, man, Ira Glass does not look how he sounds.

[Peter Sagal]

What's amazing is in the Tiny Desk concert, your character, Blothar the Berserker, proclaims his incredible enthusiasm for Terry Gross.

[Mike Dirks]

Oh, yeah. Who doesn't have a driveway Moment.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. You gwar very popular in Richmond, of course. And you even have a Gwar bar. We do. People have been to for fans and Dirks. You work there sometimes, right?

[Blothar the Berserker]

I do. I bartend and I'm one of the managers there.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. And do people ever come in and I. Presumably, they're guar fans. They recognize you.

[Blothar the Berserker]

We'll get people in there all the time. I'll be bartending, and people will come up and ask me, like, so, do the guys in GWAR ever hang out here? Not very often, no.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, Mike Dierks and Mike Bishop, we have invited you here to play a game we're calling.

[Chioki Ianson]

You Guys are gwar. Meet Jaguar.

[Peter Sagal]

We're gonna ask you about Jaguars. Answer two out of three questions about Jaguars. Of Various kinds. You'll win our prize for one of our lists listeners. Joki, who are Mike and Mike playing for?

[Chioki Ianson]

Sharon Lowry of Richmond, Virginia.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, hands down, lady, if you win, maybe she'll come by the bar to thank you. All right, here we go. Now, the Jacksonville Jaguars are an NFL team that's had some good seasons, but they have also been very unlucky, including one year when their punter suffered a unique injury. What was it? A, he bet somebody he could punt a 35 pound kettlebell and broke all his toes. B he accidentally chopped himself in the leg with the inspirational axe kept in the locker room, or C he joined the team's cheerleaders for a kick line and ruptured his groin on the first kick.

[Mike Dirks]

C. Sounds real.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, the kicker joining a kick line.

[Blothar the Berserker]

But I know that they have strict rules against fraternization between the players, and so I'm thinking it's the. He broke his toes.

[Peter Sagal]

Broke his toes. So let me get this right. Dirks, you're picking. He broke his toes trying to punt a kettlebell.

[Blothar the Berserker]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

And Bishop, you're choosing. He got in the kick line with a Julie. It was actually the other one. The coach kept an axe and a stump in the locker room to inspire his team to, quote, keep chopping. What if that happened and one day the punter did? All right, that's okay, guys. You still have two more chances. Here is your next question. The Jacksonville Jaguars mascot is Jackson deville. It's a person in a skin tight suit and a big jaguar head. And he has been so innovative in the mascot arts that he has actually inspired a rule change for all mascots across the NFL. What is that rule change? A, no mascot may ever mime intimate acts with the other team's mascot. B, all mascots must be drug tested before each half. Or C, no mascot may get closer than six feet to the field of play. Especially not if they are carrying a life size dummy of the opponent's quarterback that they intend to stomp on midfield.

[Blothar the Berserker]

Well, it sounds like a very guar answer. So having the rubber dummy of the opposing quarterback.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, it really could be inspired by guar. Maybe it was. That's the real answer. Of course, the rule arose from an incident in a game against the Steelers in 1998. Okay, let's start talking about real Jaguars. According to the scientists who work at a wildlife reserve in Guatemala, the best way to attract one of the big cats they can do it without fail is to do what? A Turn on music by Kenny G. Which the Jaguars find irresistible B, wear lots of Obsession by Calvin Klein, which draws them like flies. Or C, dress like Jackson deville, the Jacksonville Jaguars mascot.

[Mike Dirks]

I bet it's Kenny G, man.

[Blothar the Berserker]

Oh, wow.

[Peter Sagal]

The audience is saying B. B. The audience is shouting B saying Calvin Klein. Obsession by Calvin Klein.

[Blothar the Berserker]

I don't know. Cats don't have a super sensitive smell like dogs do.

[Mike Dirks]

Yeah, well, they got that thing where they go like that.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, all right.

[Blothar the Berserker]

We're trusting. These people are obviously more intelligent than us.

[Peter Sagal]

So you're gonna go for B. Yes, that's right. Congratulations, everyone. So, J, how did Dirks and Bishop do in our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

The scum dogs of the universe do not know defeat.

[Peter Sagal]

Well done. One more victory for our visitors from the Asteroid. Mike Bishop and Mike Dierks are members of the intergalactic heavy metal band Gwar, which you can catch on their 40th anniversary tour later this year. More [e-mail] Bishop and Dirks, thank you so much. Give it up for gwar, everybody. In just a minute, Chiocchi has a new way to avoid me at the office. It's the Listener Limerick challenge. Call 1-88-HAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me. From npr.

[Ron Rutson]

This message comes from Better help online therapy. Relationships of all kinds are complicated and they tend to come with a lot of tough questions. From questions about co workers to family to romantic partners, therapy can be your safe space to talk about challenges you face in any of life's relationships. BetterHelp offers therapy 100% online, and sign up takes only a few minutes. Visit betterhelp.com NPR to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com NPR support for NPR and.

[Pemco Mutual Insurance]

The following message come from Fisher Investments. SVP Judy Abrams shares how their fiduciary duty comes to life while helping clients plan for retirement.

[Mike Dirks]

As a fiduciary, we must make decisions in our clients best interest. So we work with them in consultation to be on a glide path so when they want the option to retire, that portfolio is still going to keep working for them at this stage of life.

[Pemco Mutual Insurance]

Learn [e-mail] Investing in securities involves the risk of loss.

[Chioki Ianson]

From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't TELL me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ayanci. We're playing this week with Negin Farsad, Adam Burke and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at the Altria Theater in Richmond Virginia Peter Saal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Choki. In just one minute, it's time to sit. In just a minute, it's time to sit your kids down and have the talk about limericks. It's our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at one one triple eight. Wait, wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Alzo.

[Alzo Slade]

Yo.

[Peter Sagal]

We've all gotten used to having these big screens on the dashboards of our cars, but Jeep owners are now complaining that their screens keep showing them.

[Alzo Slade]

What Their screen keeps showing them. I don't know. Can I have a hint?

[Peter Sagal]

I'll give you a hint. Yeah. It seems pointless because they've already bought the car.

[Alzo Slade]

What? An ad?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. It keeps showing them ads.

[Negin Farsad]

Is it that one Harrison Ford ad?

[Alzo Slade]

Oh, man.

[Negin Farsad]

Over and over.

[Peter Sagal]

That would be terrible. That would be.

[Alzo Slade]

Is it like the screen in the backseat of the Ubers that you can never turn off?

[Peter Sagal]

Sorta, yeah. It's the screen on their dashboard. You knew this day was coming. Car companies were not giving us those huge full color screens just to distract us into fatal crashes. No. Jeep owners have been complaining about ads for extended warranties on their car that pop up every time they come to a stop. The company says that's just a glitch not supposed to happen. But it's hard to believe that when every time the driver gets within two feet of another car, the ad pops up again and says, are you sure?

[Adam Burke]

This is like when you're watching Netflix and it shows you ads for Netflix. And it's like, I'm already watching. I can't watch more Netflix while I'm watching Netflix. Netflix. And then you realize you're talking to Netflix.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, it's a problem.

[Alzo Slade]

Those ads are for the people that are stealing your account.

[Peter Sagal]

Buy it yourself. And like I said, Chrysler says, no, we didn't mean to do this, but they all mean to do this. Right. Ford Motor Company has already applied for a patent for a system. All true. That will use your camera in a car to identify the driver and then show that driver personalized ads on the screen.

[Negin Farsad]

Oh, so you're comparison based on.

[Peter Sagal]

Right, right. And these ads will be based on its observations of you while driving. So it will be extra hurtful when you start seeing ads for, like, voice lessons near you. Alzo. For more than a decade, a man in Ireland has been pleading with authorities to let him search the town's landfill after his girlfriend Threw away a bitcoin wallet worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

[Alzo Slade]

Sucker.

[Peter Sagal]

Now the town has always refused his request. So now the guy has offered to do what?

[Alzo Slade]

Buy the lake? Not the lake, the body of water that the.

[Peter Sagal]

Not the body of water. It's a landfill.

[Alzo Slade]

Oh, by the landfill.

[Peter Sagal]

By the landfill, that's right.

[Adam Burke]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Twelve years ago, James Howell put a hard drive containing 8,000 Bitcoin in a digital wallet in a garbage bag for easy storage. And his girlfriend threw it in the trash. Correction, ex girlfriend. It's hard to win an argument when you're like, honey, what do you mean you threw away my garbage bag? Now the wallet is right now worth $800 million.

[Alzo Slade]

Oh yeah, we digging, bro. We are digging.

[Peter Sagal]

So he says, okay, absolutely, I will buy the whole land. And his odds are good. He says that through careful, you know, research, he has narrowed the search down so he will only have to sift through 10,000 tons of garbage. Meanwhile, by coincidence, a seagull has moved into a 40 million dollar landfill.

[Negin Farsad]

So he has enough money to buy a landfill. I mean, I've never bought one myself.

[Alzo Slade]

No, he's going to pay.

[Negin Farsad]

Just how much are these landfills running these days?

[Alzo Slade]

Also, he's gonna pay them on the back end.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, he's just gotta get along.

[Negin Farsad]

Promissory note.

[Peter Sagal]

He's just going into every bank in Ireland saying, look, I'm good for it.

[Adam Burke]

Can we find this ex girlfriend and give her an award for creating the perfect metaphor for bitcoin?

[Peter Sagal]

It really is amazing because it's either.

[Adam Burke]

Worth everything or it's just another piece of garbage.

[Peter Sagal]

It really is something. Coming up. It's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago or come see us on the road. For example, we will be at the Walt Disney Theater in Orlando, Florida on March 20th. For tickets and information to all of our live shows, go to NPR present. Hi Erin. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Mike Bishop]

Hi, this is Vanessa calling from Cane Hill, Arkansas.

[Peter Sagal]

Cane Hill, Arkansas. Okay. What do you do there?

[Mike Bishop]

I work as the director of a non profit historic and cultural site.

[Peter Sagal]

Historic in Cane Hill. What interesting history does one have in Cane Hill, Arkansas?

[Mike Bishop]

Well, it's a really special place. Probably my favorite thing is it was the first co ed college in the state of Arkansas.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow.

[Negin Farsad]

Nice.

[Peter Sagal]

That's exciting. What was the name of the first co ed college?

[Mike Bishop]

Cane Hill College. There was a women's seminary that closed and the women went to Cane Hill College which was previously a men's only college and it became co ed.

[Alzo Slade]

So Cane Hill College and they got busy.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, that's where my mind went. Well, Vanessa, welcome to the show. Chiochi. I am Hansen, right here is going to read you three news related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to go?

[Mike Bishop]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Here's your first limerick.

[Chioki Ianson]

Like strong whiskey, cocaine is just fine. We'll have tastings where folks try a line. They will find a dry white where the blend is just right. Cause we'll sell it like bottles of wine.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. The president of Colombia, Gustavo Petro has envisioned a future, he says, where cocaine is sold around the world and valued and appreciated just like fine wines.

[Alzo Slade]

He's a bit late. Yeah, I think we're already there.

[Peter Sagal]

Possibly. I just want to say, hey, NPR wine club, I have an idea that might make us a lot of money.

[Adam Burke]

What do you pair cocaine with other than a 14 hour long story about your dad?

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here's your next limerick, Vanessa.

[Chioki Ianson]

Saying buddy and pal feels real lame. Oh, hey you. Hello chum. Glad you came. I once had a trick I found charming and slick. But it's creepy repeating a name.

[Peter Sagal]

A name. Yes. You have all heard that advice. If you want to make a good impression on someone you have just met, just repeat their name. Keep repeating their name. You know Jeff. Great to meet you, Jeff. By which I mean you, Jeff. But the Wall Street Journal reports that people are really getting tired of that trick. They call it pushy and creepy. You have to be careful not to cross that line. From like co worker trying to make the new guy feel welcome all the way to dad talking to the Applebee's waitress.

[Adam Burke]

Do you think Jesus hates this?

[Peter Sagal]

He better not.

[Adam Burke]

He's like, I get it. You know me.

[Peter Sagal]

It's like, dude, I appreciate you saying my name. Could you do it once when you haven't stubbed your toe? All right, here's your last limerick, Vanessa.

[Chioki Ianson]

Chatty colleagues are not worth exploring. They keep hoping you'll laugh and start roaring. But they might go away if you simply go gray. Don't engage them. Stay listless and boring.

[Peter Sagal]

Boring. Exactly. A self described introvert wrote to the New York Times workplace advice columnist. They have one saying that she had a colleague who simply wouldn't stop bothering her and the advice was to quote, go gray. That is to make her responses so dull that the other person would just give up and go away. That's easy for her to do. Some of us have no off handle on our charisma faucet.

[Alzo Slade]

You know what'll do it? Like just play. Role play. Peter, you ask me a question, I'll show you.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey Alzo, what you been up to?

[Alzo Slade]

Do you know your Lord and savior Jesus Christ?

[Peter Sagal]

I don't know.

[Adam Burke]

Is that the only reason people get into the priesthood in the first place?

[Peter Sagal]

Joki, how did Vanessa do in our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

Another first for Kane Hill. Vanessa got all three right.

[Peter Sagal]

Well done, Vanessa. Hang that on your museum. Congratulations. Thank you. Thanks so much for calling. I'm just so boring.

[Mike Dirks]

I'm just so boring.

[Ron Rutson]

This message comes from netsuite. What does the future hold for business? Can someone invent a crystal ball? Until then, over 41,000 businesses have future proofed their business with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one Cloud ERP, bringing accounting, financial management, inventory and HR into one platform. With real time insights and forecasting, you're able to peer into the future and seize new opportunities. Download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning for free at netsuite.com story.

[Peter Sagal]

Now onto our final game. Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth 2.5. Joki, can you give us the scores?

[Chioki Ianson]

Adam and Alzo have three. Negin's got two.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, so Negin, you are in second place. That means you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. After a phone call with Russia on Wednesday, President Trump said negotiations to end the war in blank would start immediately.

[Negin Farsad]

Ukraine.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Sunday, the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Kansas City Chiefs to win the blank Super Bowl. Right. This week, automakers Nissan and Blank announced they were pausing their merger.

[Negin Farsad]

Honda.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. According to new data, rush hour commute time in blank has dropped 30% thanks to congestion pricing. New York City Right this week, the Chesterfield, Virginia Snowball festival was rescheduled due to blank. They were here for it.

[Negin Farsad]

Congestion prices?

[Chioki Ianson]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

A snowstorm on Tuesday, former Beatle Blank surprise show to 600 fans in New York.

[Negin Farsad]

McCarthy. What? McCartney.

[Peter Sagal]

McCartney. McCartney, after being told his in laws were considering buying a house in his neighborhood just to be closer to the family. A wealthy man in California blanked He.

[Negin Farsad]

Decided to marry his robot.

[Peter Sagal]

No, he didn't. He secretly bought the house so the in laws couldn't move in. When the in laws excitedly told the guy, well, they'd put in a bid and this house will be right around the corner. He then formed an LLC under another name and bought the house in cash so they could not get it.

[Alzo Slade]

That's gangster.

[Peter Sagal]

That's gangster. He was very proud. It was quick thinking. So that has ensured for all time that the in laws he apparently hates will have to stay in his house whenever they visit Chioche. How did Negeen do in our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

Nagin got five right for 10 more points. That's a total of 12. Negeen has the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Adam, I am arbitrarily cheating choosing you to go next. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Senate voted to confirm blank as Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard. It was this week US Blank jumped by 3% inflation. Right after firing the entire board, President Trump was named chairman of the Blank center.

[Adam Burke]

The Kennedy Center.

[Peter Sagal]

How did he manage that this week?

[Alzo Slade]

I don't think they like that.

[Peter Sagal]

No, apparently not.

[Adam Burke]

I think they're just. They're just booing. The Kennedy scene.

[Peter Sagal]

This week, a Georgia representative introduced a bill to rename Greenland Blank.

[Adam Burke]

Oh, Red, White and Blueland.

[Peter Sagal]

That's right. On Monday, NASA announced the astronauts stuck on the blank would return home sooner than planned.

[Adam Burke]

The International Space Station.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Tuesday, a giant schnauzer named Monty won best in show at the Blank.

[Adam Burke]

The Westminster Dog Show.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, singer Bryan Adams announced he had to cancel a concert in Perth, Australia because the city was dealing with a giant blank.

[Adam Burke]

Infestation of other Bryan Adams.

[Peter Sagal]

No, they cancelled the concert due to a giant fatberg.

[Adam Burke]

Oh, that's right.

[Peter Sagal]

Fatbergs are giant sewer blockages made of discarded grease that all clumps up together. And one was so close to the venue where Bryan Adams was set to perform that the concert was canceled over fears that all the toilets would back up. This is, of course, a huge display disappointment to Adam's fans who weren't able to hear his hits like Summer of 69 and the encore performance of Summer of 69.

[Adam Burke]

I'm sorry, the theme from Robin Hood. Everything I do, I do it for you.

[Peter Sagal]

Excuse me, Mr. Adam? Stan.

[Alzo Slade]

Yeah, I think he took offense.

[Peter Sagal]

I think so, Chiocchi, how did Adam Burke do on our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

Adam got six right for 12 more points. Total of 15. Adam is in the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

Alright, so how many then? Does also Slade need To win this big thing.

[Chioki Ianson]

Six to tie, seven to win.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, this is for the game. On Monday, President Trump announced 25% blanks on steel and aluminum tariffs. Right. On Tuesday, the chair of the Federal Reserve said they were in no rush to cut blanks interest rates. Right. This week, flights were delayed as severe blanks hit the east coast winter storms. Right. On Thursday, Israel said that Hamas must release more hostages by Saturday or the war in blank would resume.

[Alzo Slade]

Gaza.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, a man in Minnesota was charged with arson after he tried to put out a fire. By blanking.

[Alzo Slade]

By starting it?

[Peter Sagal]

No, but he actually did start it. But he tried to put it out by dousing it with alcohol. That's what he had in his hand. Due to botulism, a recall was issued on several brands of canned blank tuna. Right. On Wednesday, Outkast, Billy Idol, and Fish were among the nominees to be inducted into the Blank Rock and Roll hall of Fame. Right. This week, a woman in the UK in a bad first date excused herself to the bathroom to text a friend, tell them the date was awful, they should call with a fake emergency. But she accidentally blanked.

[Alzo Slade]

Texted him.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, she did. Yes. Everything I'm about to tell you is true. This woman was on this first date. She was having a terrible time. She goes into the bathroom and she texts her friend, and I quote, this date is rubbish. He's brutally ugly, and I'm not having fun. Can you call me in about five minutes and I'll pretend there's an emergency? And she pressed send right to him at the table. So. And again, this is true. The guy looked at it, turned to the waiter and said, you know, I've got to leave in a hurry. An emergency has just come up. My lady friend is in the bathroom, but she has the credit card and she'll take care of the bill.

[Alzo Slade]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Skipped out the door. He is the hero we needed. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Burke]

Until he got another text from her going, he's cheap as well.

[Alzo Slade]

Well, at that point, it wouldn't matter.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I know. Chiocchi. Did Alzo do well enough to win?

[Chioki Ianson]

Oh, yeah. Alzo got seven. Right. For 14 more points, total of 17. Alzo Slade is this week's winner.

[Peter Sagal]

There you go. Yeah. In just a minute, our panelists will predict now that pennies are being phased out. What will we do with all our leftover pennies? Wait, wait, don't tell Me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord Philip Gaedecker writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Altria Theatre in Richmond, Virginia. And a special thanks to our wonderful partners at bpm. DJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey. Our jolly good fellow is Hannah Anderson. Peter Guinn's got that big dinner energy. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will we do with all those pennies?

[Alzo Slade]

Also, Slade, I gotta buy some fresh loafers to put them in Negeen Farsad.

[Negin Farsad]

The pennies will be equally distributed among bereavement from coast to coast.

[Peter Sagal]

And Adam Burke.

[Adam Burke]

We're gonna take all those pennies over the next four years and throw them into fountains and make a wish over and over again.

[Chioki Ianson]

And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you. Chaoke I Anson, filling in for Bill Curtis, who will be back the next time you hear us. Thanks also to Nagin Farzad and Birkin Alzo Slater, our fabulous audience here in Richmond, Virginia. And thanks to all of you for listening wherever you are on Peter's tagl. We'll see you next week. This this is npr.

[Ron Rutson]

This message comes from Capella University. With Capella's flexpath learning format, you can set your own deadlines and learn on your schedule. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn [e-mail].

[Pemco Mutual Insurance]

This message comes from Capital One. The Capital One Venture X business card earns unlimited double miles on every purchase. Capital One what's in your wallet? Terms and conditions apply. Find out [e-mail] venturexbusiness.