WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

Summary

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Episode Summary: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

Release Date: December 21, 2024
Host: Peter Sagal
Guests: Comedians Dulce Sloan, Hari Kondabolu, Roy Blount Jr., and celebrity guests Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Location: Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building, Chicago, Illinois

---

1. Introduction

Hosted by Peter Sagal, NPR's weekly news quiz, Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! delivered a lively and entertaining episode featuring stand-up comedians Dulce Sloan, Hari Kondabolu, Roy Blount Jr., and special guests Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone. The episode balanced humorous takes on current events with engaging games, providing both laughs and insightful commentary.

2. Contestant Segments

a. Melanie Morgan from McKinney, Texas

Timestamp: [00:43] - [09:43]

Melanie Morgan, a legal aid attorney and adjunct professor, participated in the show's news quiz. She faced three news-related quotes presented by host Peter Sagal.

Key Discussions:

• New Jersey Drone Sightings: The segment highlighted widespread sightings of car-sized drones in New Jersey. President Biden's clarification that they were "nothing nefarious" sparked humorous debate among the panelists.

  • Peter Sagal [03:05]: “There’s nothing nefarious, apparently.”

  • Hari Kondabolu [03:30]: “As a New Yorker, I find it hilarious and very cute that New Jersey thinks that aliens and the government are interested in its matters.”

• Year-In-Review Trends: The panel discussed the surge of “wrapped” summaries from companies like Starbucks and Tinder, poking fun at the invasive nature of these trends.

  • Dulce Sloan [06:33]: “Cause honestly, if it wasn't the Pope, would they let him write a thing about comedy is good?”

Melanie successfully identified two out of three quotes correctly, earning her a prize and commendation from the panel.

b. Kelly Cullen from Pittsburgh

Timestamp: [15:02] - [28:30]

Kelly Cullen engaged in the “Bluff the Listener” game, where she had to discern factual outdoor trends from fictional ones.

Key Discussions:

• Adventure Catting: The concept of taking cats on outdoor adventures like hiking and paddle boarding was humorously explored.

  • Dulce Sloan [17:51]: “Are these aliens? Do aliens have drones? I thought they had spaceships.”

Kelly chose the accurate story about Adventure Catting, winning her the game and a prize.

3. Guest Interview: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

Timestamp: [28:30] - [32:30]

The highlight of the episode featured an interview with Hollywood power couple Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone. They discussed their collaborative ventures, including their podcast "Hildy the Barback and the Lake of Fire."

Key Discussions:

• Transition to Podcasting: Despite their success in film, Melissa and Ben opted to create a podcast, emphasizing a desire to explore new creative avenues.

  • Melissa McCarthy [22:28]: “Ben, as a child, would just constantly read all of the Lord of the Rings. So this is very much in his DNA.”

• Creative Process and Costumes: The couple shared anecdotes about their unique approach to creativity, including themed costume parties unrelated to holidays.

  • Ben Falcone [23:19]: “We wanted to do a show where men mess everything up and funny women have to come to the rescue.”

• Relationship Insights: They reflected on their long-term relationship, including amusing stories from their early days and Hollywood events.

  • Ben Falcone [25:06]: “We went to an Oscar after party wearing velour tracksuits and people got mad.”

Melissa and Ben excelled in their quiz segment, answering two out of three questions correctly and securing their prize.

4. Panel Games and Discussions

a. "Doctor's Thought"

Timestamp: [34:38] - [51:19]

Panelists Dulce Sloan, Roy Blount Jr., and Hari Kondabolu participated in the "Doctor's Thought" rapid-fire game, filling in blanks for humorous and bizarre medical headlines.

Notable Moments:

• Wild Headlines: The panel navigated through absurd headlines, showcasing their quick wit and comedic chemistry.

  • Hari Kondabolu [35:09]: “I birthed a koala.”

  • Peter Sagal [35:16]: “It was doctors thought I got chlamydia from a koala.”

• Roy Blount Jr.'s Accuracy: Roy demonstrated strong knowledge, correctly identifying multiple headlines related to current events.

  • Roy Blount Jr. [36:05]: “It was Murder Hornet.”

b. "Lightning Fill in the Blank"

Timestamp: [46:02] - [51:19]

In this high-speed game, panelists sought to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as possible within 60 seconds.

Highlights:

• Dulce Sloan's Lead: Dulce emerged as the leading scorer with 16 points, showcasing her quick thinking and familiarity with current events.

  • Dulce Sloan [47:25]: “Drinking.”

• Roy Blount Jr. and Hari Kondabolu's Efforts: Roy accumulated eight points, while Hari fell just short of winning with nine points.

5. Conclusion

The episode culminated with the panelists humorously predicting the best Christmas presents of the year, reflecting on societal trends and personal anecdotes.

Final Thoughts:

• Hari Kondabolu [52:11]: “The Earth is one year closer to getting these pesky humans out of here.”

• Roy Blount Jr. [52:18]: “Jimmy Carter will get heaven with a high five from Abe Lincoln.”

• Dulce Sloan [52:26]: “Mr. Scrooge is going to wake up on Christmas morning and save TikTok.”

Peter Sagal wrapped up the show by thanking the panelists, guests, and audience, wishing everyone happy holidays and encouraging continued engagement with NPR's programming.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Peter Sagal [03:05]: “There’s nothing nefarious, apparently.”

• Hari Kondabolu [03:30]: “As a New Yorker, I find it hilarious and very cute that New Jersey thinks that aliens and the government are interested in its matters.”

• Dulce Sloan [06:33]: “Cause honestly, if it wasn't the Pope, would they let him write a thing about comedy is good?”

• Melissa McCarthy [22:28]: “Ben, as a child, would just constantly read all of the Lord of the Rings. So this is very much in his DNA.”

• Ben Falcone [23:19]: “We wanted to do a show where men mess everything up and funny women have to come to the rescue.”

• Dulce Sloan [47:25]: “Drinking.”

---

Overall, this episode of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! masterfully blended humor with current events, featuring insightful commentary from both the panelists and celebrity guests. Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone's participation added a delightful dimension, highlighting their creative endeavors beyond Hollywood.

Transcript

[Capella University]

This message comes from Capella University. With Capella's flexpath learning format, you can set your own deadlines and learn on your schedule. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR. And we see Chicago. This is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. Forget your silver bells. I'm your silver fox, Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Great to see you. We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be Talking to Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone, part of a pantheon of Hollywood power couples like Bogey and Bacall, Ben and JLo, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a series of women who cannot legally rent a car. You can play our games alone or as part of a power couple. We don't care. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You are on Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Melanie Morgan]

Hi, this is Melanie Morgan from McKinney, Texas.

[Peter Sagal]

McKinney, Texas. I don't know where that is. Can you tell me?

[Melanie Morgan]

It's a little north of Dallas.

[Peter Sagal]

A little north of Dallas. And what do you do there?

[Melanie Morgan]

I am a legal aid attorney and an adjunct professor at a community college.

[Peter Sagal]

All right. What do you teach? Okay. What do you teach there?

[Dulce Sloan]

Yeah.

[Melanie Morgan]

I say I have the two lowest paying jobs in the legal profession.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations.

[Melanie Morgan]

I teach family law and mediation.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow. Well, welcome to the show, Melanie. It's a pleasure to have you. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a comedian and correspondent for the Daily show who will be performing stand up at the Philadelphia Punchline on December 27th and 28th. It's Dulce Sloan.

[Melanie Morgan]

Hello. Hi, Dulce.

[Dulce Sloan]

Nice to meet you.

[Peter Sagal]

And he's a comedian whose newest special, vacation Baby, is available on Hulu and YouTube. It's Hari Kondabolu. Hello.

[Melanie Morgan]

Hi, Hari.

[Peter Sagal]

And he's a writer and humorist whose delightful substance is take another little piece of my heart. Now It's Roy Blunt Jr. Hey, how you doing? Welcome, Melanie. Welcome to our show. You're going to play who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose on your Voicemail. Are you ready to play?

[Melanie Morgan]

I hope so. I've been avoiding the news since the election.

[Peter Sagal]

Really interesting way to break your fast call into a newscast. It's broadcast nationally. All right, now your first quote comes from Senator Chuck Schumer.

[Bill Curtis]

What the heck is going on?

[Peter Sagal]

Senator Schumer was one of many people asking that question about what mysterious things in the sky over New Jersey.

[Melanie Morgan]

Oh, the drones.

[Peter Sagal]

The drones. For weeks now, people in New Jersey have been seeing what they say are car sized drones, sometimes by the dozens, floating in the sky. And people want answers. And after many, many demands, finally President Biden said, quote, there's nothing nefarious, apparently. Hey, quick thought. If you're trying to calm people down, don't use the word apparently.

[Hari Kondabolu]

As a New Yorker, I find it hilarious and very cute that New Jersey thinks that aliens and the government are interested in its matters. Like the idea that they think they're that worthy of attention from outer space. Or the Major League Baseball's not interested in New Jersey. The NBA is not interested in New Jersey. The jets and Giants play in New Jersey, but they don't even want to be associated with them. And you're telling me aliens and the government are putting.

[Capella University]

Maybe.

[Peter Sagal]

Maybe the aliens have a particular interest in New Jersey. Maybe like for respiration instead of oxygen, they breathe hair gel.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

I believe that there is a tour that you can take to all the houses and sites of the Sopranos.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, you can. There was that.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

If I were an alien being, I would want to check that out first.

[Dulce Sloan]

Are these aliens? Do aliens have drones? I thought they had spaceships.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, you never know. I mean, maybe they have drones. Maybe they disguise the spaceships as drones. Maybe we think they're drones, but they're really spaceships. Who knows?

[Dulce Sloan]

This is too long for us to not know.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, well, that's the thing.

[Dulce Sloan]

Well, but no. Cause we would have shot these down by now. I don't. As an American. I know. We shoot first, ask questions never.

[Peter Sagal]

Now what happens is people saying, well, there are all these drones. And the government says, no, there aren't. We've looked. They're all perfectly reasonable explanations for all of it. And the whole thing might be this kind of mass hysteria. This is all true. A Pennsylvania state senator tweeted a photo of what he said was a drone that had been shot down. See, it was a Thai fighter from Star Wars. And the former governor of Maryland, Larry Hogan, posted a footage of drones that he said were floating above his house for hours. And again, true. It was the constellation Orion. Okay, fine.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Well, I flew here on one, but maybe that was just a plane.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I know. You never know.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Melanie, here is your next quote.

[Bill Curtis]

Let's look back at some delicious memories.

[Peter Sagal]

That was a message that appeared on People's Starbucks app. Starbucks is one of many companies copying Spotify wrapped this month and offering users.

[Melanie Morgan]

What, like a summary of everything they've done all year?

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Right. A year in review. Right. Everybody's doing their own version of Spotify racks. So, for example, we mentioned Starbucks tells you what you bought, what your favorite drinks were. The Washington Post has a summary of all the articles you read that year. Strava, of course, gives you a summary of all the exercise you did. And I personally loved Boeing's flights. You survived 2024.

[Hari Kondabolu]

No one asked for this. There's an expression like, if you feel like you're about to die, you're like, I saw my life flash before my eyes.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Hari Kondabolu]

When did that become a good thing?

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Nobody wants this information.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Dulce Sloan]

Also, it's just like, Target shouldn't do this.

[Peter Sagal]

Like the Target store.

[Dulce Sloan]

No. Because then you can look at all the times you went to Target and was like, I just need toilet paper. And then you spent $200.

[Peter Sagal]

But you know who actually did this? Tinder. Tinder. Oh, that's awful. Offered their users an end of the year swipe report. Because what everybody wants as a Christmas present is a statistical breakdown of all the people who rejected you. So your top genre was unavailable Guys with glasses.

[Dulce Sloan]

That's why I got rid of date naps. Every time I would open it, I'd be like, man, a whole city doesn't want to sleep with me. Let me put my phone.

[Peter Sagal]

See, the whole point of these summaries is they give you the illusion of having accomplished something with your time. Right. You're still just like, you know, then the same old drudge you were January 1st. But look at all the songs you listen to.

[Dulce Sloan]

I know. I listen to Megan Thee Stallion the whole time. I don't need nobody to tell me that.

[Peter Sagal]

There you are, Melanie. Your last quote today is actually a punchline to a joke that was written out in a New York Times op ed this week.

[Bill Curtis]

All I can tell you is that it's the Pope who is driving him.

[Peter Sagal]

Who told this joke, among a few others, about the Pope. Oh, the Pope. Yes, the Pope.

[Dulce Sloan]

What?

[Peter Sagal]

Of course it was the Pope. Or as he would say, is the me Catholic? Ooh. Pope Francis wrote an op ed in Tuesday's New York Times entitled There is Faith in Humor, in which he went on to basically tell a bunch of jokes. Great. Another old white guy in comedy.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

How many popes does it take to do something?

[Peter Sagal]

Now, he says that what this is about is, like, how humor is important in coping with life's travails. It's a part of faith that we should embrace humor. Right. But what's going on is that pretty late in life, the Pope obviously wants to start doing stand up, which is fine, but it will be shocking when he starts his sets with so I've been dating again. And he'll do crowd work like, oh, what do you do for a living? Yes. And what are your sins?

[Hari Kondabolu]

I mean, it's hard when Betty White has raised the bar so high for elderly people in comedy.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true.

[Hari Kondabolu]

And then you got like. Cause honestly, if it wasn't the Pope, would they let him write a thing about comedy is good? That was the major point of the article. It's nice to laugh, which I think in the 1400s would have been groundbreaking.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Right?

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Well, he's really interested in comedy, as you may have heard Jim Gaffigan talking about on our show a few weeks ago. He invited a whole bunch of comedians and humorists to the Vatican to meet them.

[Melanie Morgan]

Not me.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, are you Catholic?

[Melanie Morgan]

No.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Oh.

[Dulce Sloan]

Oh, you had to be Catholic.

[Peter Sagal]

Apparently. I don't.

[Dulce Sloan]

Well, most of these comics are heathens.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Is the Pope Catholic?

[Melanie Morgan]

Shut up.

[Peter Sagal]

Bill. How did Melanie do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

She deserves a win, so we're gonna call her a winner. Good job, Melanie.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank Melanie. Bye.

[Melanie Morgan]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Dulce, question for you. Dulce, there's been another breakthrough in pickles. Now, the hot new online trend in pickles is to cover pickles with what?

[Dulce Sloan]

Let's see. Okay, so you could take the one they're doing is a fruit roll up rolled in Tajin. Then you could do it with chamoy.

[Peter Sagal]

Or.

[Dulce Sloan]

Or you could put a little glitter in it.

[Peter Sagal]

Glitter. You got it. Yes. You knew all of them, but you wanted glitter. TikTok has come up with yet another way to torture a pickle. So far as you, I think, were.

[Dulce Sloan]

Trying to tell us, I love torturing a pickle.

[Bill Curtis]

Go ahead.

[Peter Sagal]

You did? Yeah. So far, the tiktokers have wrapped pickles and fried cheese, They've stuffed them with taki chips, and now they are dumping edible glitter into pickle jars to make a treat called a glickle.

[Hari Kondabolu]

It's the glitter Edible.

[Dulce Sloan]

Yeah, they make edible glitter.

[Peter Sagal]

They Do.

[Dulce Sloan]

Yeah.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Where you been?

[Peter Sagal]

Now, does Glitter Pickle sound like the name of an all male strip club in Reno? Yes, of course it does, but that's beside the point. And Glickles apparently are perfect for people who like sparkly things and literally have nothing else to eat.

[Dulce Sloan]

See, I feel like you're judging, Peter.

[Peter Sagal]

I am. For why glitter pickles?

[Dulce Sloan]

That ain't none of your business.

[Peter Sagal]

I guess you're right. If people want to eat their pickles with glitter, you know, it's a free country.

[Dulce Sloan]

It's a vegetable, right?

[Peter Sagal]

Have you eaten glitter pickles or glitter?

[Dulce Sloan]

No. I'm a grown up.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, our panelists go adventuring in our Bluff the Listener game. Call one triple eight. Wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait, wait, don't tell me from npr. Hey, it's Peter Sagal. The year is almost over and now is the time when NPR and I come to you, hat in hand, and ask for your support. Now, interestingly, the idiom hat in hand does not refer to, say, a street performer walking around holding out his hat for people to put in money. I always thought it was. No, it is actually referring to an old tradition when knights would remove their helmets and show humility. So it's really more about my attitude of supplication than it is about asking for money, even though, of course I'm going to be asking for money. Now, if you heard that and you said to yourself, wow, that's fascinating, I was also under that misapprehension as to the idioms meaning then you, my friend, are one of us. That means you enjoy our show where we do trivia and jokes for smart people, dumb jokes for smart people, to be sure, where we give you a break from the week's news, where we make your breakfast on the weekend with your family or your walk with your dog or other interminable tasks bearable with our goofy dumb. But we always think smart humor. Now, if you heard me say that and you said to yourself, well, I know that. Everybody knows that, then you are our ideal listener and you should donate even more. You know what you should do if you're enjoying this little riff on idioms? You should join npr. A small recurring donation gets you special perks for more than 25 NPR podcasts like sponsor free listening and bonus episodes, even discounted items from the NPR shop. It only takes a few minutes to sign up, and you can do it right [e-mail] and if you've already donated to your local station or joined npr. The hat and I thank you. We will be waiting for your donation with bated breath. And that's bated B A T E D short for like a baited I E. We're holding our breath, but come on, you knew that.

[Capella University]

Support for NPR and the following message come from GoodRx. Looking for relief from cold and flu symptoms? With Goodrx, you can save an average of $34 on cold and flu medications, plus find savings on everyday prescriptions. Goodrx lets you compare prescription prices at over 70,000 pharmacies and instantly find discounts of up to 80%. Even if you have insurance or Medicare. GoodRx may beat your co pay price, save on cold and flu prescriptions and [e-mail] wait. This message comes from Capella University. Learning doesn't have to get in the way of life. With Capella's game changing flexpath learning format, you can set your own deadlines and learn on your own schedule. That means you don't have to put your life on hold to earn your degree. Instead, enjoy learning your way and pursue your educational and career goals without missing a beat. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu.

[NPR]

Support for NPR comes from Google. This year, Google is celebrating the breakout searches of 2024 captured the world's attention and shaped our year in ways we never saw coming. Watch the film at G Co YearinSearch Google search on.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't TELL Me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Hari Kondabolu, Dulce Sloan and Roy Blunt Jr. And here goes your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, don't tell me bluff the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. To play our game on the air, you can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, atwaitnpr. The information you need is there. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Melanie Morgan]

Hi, this is Kelly Cullen from Pittsburgh.

[Peter Sagal]

Hey, I love Pittsburgh, one of my favorite places. What do you do there?

[Melanie Morgan]

Well, for the next two weeks, I'm going to spend as much time as I can with my family, including my son who's home from college in London.

[Peter Sagal]

That's great. I have to ask only because it's so typical. Did he come back from college in London with a pretentious British accent Yes.

[Melanie Morgan]

He won't stop telling me how brilliant I am and I will take it every day of the week.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, that's great. Well, welcome to our show, Kelly. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kelly's topic?

[Bill Curtis]

Get me to rei.

[Peter Sagal]

There's so much you can do in the great outdoors. You can kayak, rock climb, get malaria. Our panel is going to tell you about a whole new kind of outdoor activity that's becoming popular. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to go?

[Melanie Morgan]

I am ready.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, let's do it then. Let's hear first from Dulce Sloan in.

[Dulce Sloan]

Today'S installment of hey Get Off My Lawn. The Growing Phenomenon of Urban Wandering Based on the British tradition of wandering through fields in the countryside called rambling, Americans have started taking back their environment by walking aimlessly through businesses and people's yards. Rambling in the UK is protected by the Right to Roam law, allowing enthusiasts to access publicly and privately owned land because of centuries old footpaths that predate modern property lines. Urban wandering, on the other hand, is a bunch of white people trusted passing through a neighborhood they don't live in by jumping fences, walking through rose bushes and then descending upon a Starbucks. The leader of the Wandering Society of Eagle Colorado stated, it's all right to enjoy the world we live in. Property lines are fictional, nature is real. And so was the trespassing citation her group received after trudging through a gated.

[Peter Sagal]

Community Urban wandering in which people just barge their way through whatever they want because I guess they can. Your next word from the Wild comes From Roy Blunt Jr.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Adventure Catting, it's called, and it's a full blown trend, complete with special cat harnesses and social media feeds. People are taking their cats hiking, paddle boarding and mountain climbing as if they were dogs or people. Anything but cats, one adventure catter told npr. Taking them on adventures is such a good bonding activity, I wouldn't want to leave them at home. The cat had no comment. It breaks the stereotype of cats, we are told. Well, I guess it does. Our cat Jimmy is adventurous all right when it comes to climbing way up behind a motel room sink or yowling with wildlife at 2am, but can I see him swinging along a sylvan hiking trail with us, much less paddle boarding and all the other distinctly non feline sports that adventure cats, we are told, get up to what I can See is Jimmy taking one look at the little Nike snowshoes somebody got him and laughing his little ass off.

[Peter Sagal]

Adventure catting, the new trend of taking your cat with you when you go out into the great outdoors. Your last inside scoop from the outside comes from Hari Kondabolu Golf.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Some would call it a pastime, others a lifestyle. And if you're under 30, boring. Very, very boring. In response to golf's declining popularity with young people, some country clubs have introduced a new variation of the game called combat golf. A golfer tees off and then has a two minute head start before the other members of the foursome give chase. The three attackers are allowed to do anything they like to hinder the golfer, outside of injury, at least intentionally. Wink, wink. The inventor of combat golf goes by the name of Payne Stewart Paine, spelled P A I N. He says, quote, my daddy loved golf more than he loved me. When it was his weekend to have me, he made me caddy for him. Oh, the destruction I imagined causing with his golf clubs. Who knew my revenge panties would turn into a legitimate team sport?

[Peter Sagal]

All right, so here are your choices. One of these things is going on somewhere outside. Is it from Dulce Sloan, urban wandering, where people just sort of wander through people's property and yards just because you know it's there. From Roy Blount Jr. Adventure Catting, where people are doing the typical outdoor things. Hiking, paddle boarding, but bringing their cats. Or from Hari Kondabolu, combat golf, a new variation on the ancient Scottish game in which you can try to keep your opponent from hitting the ball by hitting him first. Which of these is the real story of a new outdoor activity?

[Melanie Morgan]

Well, although I love the UK tie in and I am a dog person, I'm going to go with Roy's story about adventure catting.

[Peter Sagal]

Adventure catting. All right, that is your choice. You believe Roy's telling the truth. Well, here is someone who has firsthand experience with this particular activity.

[Melanie Morgan]

I think we were doing adventure catting.

[Dulce Sloan]

Before adventure catting was a thing.

[Peter Sagal]

That was Nicole Alcaine talking to Oregon Public Broadcasting about her experience adventure catting. Funny, they never get the cats on tape talking about it. Congratulations, Kelly. You got it right. You earned a point for Roy. You have won our prize. The voice of your choice in your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing and enjoy the holidays with your son home from England. Take care. Thanks. Bye bye. And now, the game we call not my job. Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone have been married for 19 years, and in that time they have written, produced, directed and or starred in six films together, including the Boss and Thunder Force. And that is apart from the other movies. Melissa has starred in like Bridesmaids and Can youn Ever Forgive Me. And yes. Also they produced two children. Their latest project is a podcast called Hildy the Barback and the Lake of Fire. Melissa and Ben, welcome to. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

So let me start here. I always wonder this. You guys have been at the height of Hollywood fame and power. You have your own production company. Melissa, you've been nominated for two different Oscars. Why throw that all away to do a podcast?

[Melanie Morgan]

Well, it was Ben's idea. I mean, Ben, as a child when I was like, God knows what I was doing, would just constantly read all of the Lord of the Rings. So this is very much in his DNA. It's kind of a Middle Earth comedy. And, well, you explained it.

[Dulce Sloan]

It's out of your book.

[Jim Gaffigan]

While other people like Melissa were probably dating, I was playing and reading these books. And so a friend of ours, Steve Mallory, who co created the podcast with us, came to me with this idea of just doing sort of that style, fantasy style of podcast. Because one thing about these worlds is that women are very rarely featured. So we wanted to do a show where men mess everything up and funny women have to come to the rescue.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, of course. We read this, that when you perform this thing, this fantasy thing, you're wearing costumes even though no one can see you. Is that true?

[Melanie Morgan]

I would wear a costume to brush my teeth. So if you put me in the Middle Ages, I'm gonna have some kind of armor and helmet on no matter what. So that means I'm definitely not a nerd.

[Peter Sagal]

That's true. Definitely. We read that you have a remarkable collection of costumes and wigs in your home. Is that the case?

[Melanie Morgan]

Yeah. I thought everybody had that.

[Peter Sagal]

That sounded I Dolce.

[Melanie Morgan]

Thank you. Thank you. Like, our Christmas parties are costume parties that have nothing to do with Christmas.

[Peter Sagal]

So do the costume parties have like a theme that's a non Christmas theme?

[Melanie Morgan]

Yes. I mean, it comes like we did. What was the Christmas. A Christmas Flock of Seagulls. So it was 80s hair bands with. But with a Kiss of Christmas. And then we did Hollywood Bears. And what was that one called? We did Hollywood Bears and other woodland Creatures.

[Peter Sagal]

Woodland creatures, right.

[Melanie Morgan]

So you could come as a Hollywood bear, which is a super cute, gay, hunky guy from West Hollywood. Or a squirrel.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. I read, by the way. And by the way, I read a lot of this in a Incredibly elaborate People magazine chronology of your entire relationship, which I guess is a cool thing to have out there in the world.

[Melanie Morgan]

Does that exist?

[Peter Sagal]

It does. It does. It starts when you were both teenagers in Illinois, and it extends to the present day. And one of the things it mentions is that you, both of you once went to an Oscar after party wearing velour tracksuits and people got mad.

[Melanie Morgan]

Yeah, I flipped off a lot because everybody, so many people change and they're in yet another kind of beautiful, but maybe not the most comfortable thing or someone's in like another pair of high heels. And then Ben and I came in in tracksuits and like, you know, shell toe Adidas shoes. And people were, can I, can I. I don't know if I can throw fingers. I'll keep it clean. But literally you just see people that you hadn't met yet. But I was like, oh, I can't wait to meet that person. And they were just like, really? But I do it again now. I'm sure. I felt like I cracked the code.

[Peter Sagal]

Sure. Speaking of that timeline of your relationship, you guys met as teenagers here in Illinois, right? You both grew up here.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. So I'm from Carbondale, Illinois, where SIU is.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Hey. All right. And I remember I was sort of like, you know, so this is the 80s, and I had like the swooped haircut and the earring and a Clockwork Orange T shirt and, you know, that vibe. And a lot of my friends all had that sort of similar vibe. And we saw these people walk across the Strip, we call it, down there, and they looked, you know, very goth and very cool. And I remember one of my friends going, I wish my mom would let me dress like that. And it was Melissa. It was Melissa.

[Melanie Morgan]

And it was probably. I probably had a full length capon and God knows what else. And it was probably like in Southern Illinois, like 98 degrees, pure humidity. And I'm sure it was like a real clam bake going on in there.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Moving on. The People magazine timeline of the marriage of Ben and Melissa. You saw each other, or at least Ben, you saw Melissa, but you actually met doing like in an improv comedy group in la, famously the Groundlings. Do you remember Melissa? If, like, what caught your attention about Ben?

[Melanie Morgan]

I actually do. The first class we had when we he. We all had to do like quick monologues and everyone was so loud and we were all trying so hard to be funny, but it was just loud and crazy and obnoxious. And then Ben got up there and was super quiet, super creepy. He was a prison inmate and he was welcoming his new cellmate. And he's like, I just think we're going to get along so well. And he was so quiet. And I was like. And for some reason, when I say it out loud, I realize I'm like, boy, this guy's super creepy. Maybe I'll get to marry him.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Well, Melissa and Ben, it is a real pleasure to talk to you, and we've invited you here to play a.

[Bill Curtis]

Game we're calling Melissa and Ben. Meet Melissa and Doug.

[Peter Sagal]

Melissa and Doug, since you're parents, you might know that that is the company founded in 1988 by Melissa and Doug Bernstein to sell traditional wooden toys. We're going to ask you three questions about this company and its products. Answer two of them correctly, you'll win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of whomever they like from our show. Bill, who are Melissa and Ben playing for?

[Bill Curtis]

Jeff Spray of Anderson, South Carolina.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here's your first question. Although they eventually became very famous and successful for their wooden puzzles and playsets, their first big product, Melissa and Doug, was what? A, a half hour long VHS videotape that encouraged kids to make friends by playing the kazoo. B, a blank block of wood and a chisel sold with the name Imagination playset. Or C, a quote, anti war toy that was a flower you could stick in the barrel of other kids toy guns.

[Melanie Morgan]

I want all three of these to be real.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think maybe it's the A, A.

[Melanie Morgan]

I would say A too.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, that was very collaborative. Yes, A. You're right. It is A. The video is called you on kazoo. It did not sell well, so they moved on to actually making toys. But you can see it online because that went viral in the 2000s and it is terrible. Here's your next question. In 2023, Melissa and Doug sold their company to a billion dollar toy conglomerate called Spin Masters. But even that giant company had humble beginnings. What was Spin Masters very first toy? A, a box of cereal rebranded as a food fight kit. B, a short yo yo called yo that all with a string. So. So with a string so short it just dangled. Or C, Earth Buddies, which was a nylon sock stuffed with sawdust and grass seeds.

[Melanie Morgan]

I find myself drawn to C. Yeah, me too.

[Peter Sagal]

Earth Buddies, you're both drawn to C. And you're both correct. It was really successful. They sold sold thousands of them and went on to great things. All right, here's your last question. These days, their most popular products, Melissa and Doug, include Playsets that allow kids to pretend they're doing adult things, including a get well doctor activity center that is so realistic. It even includes what? A, a real working X ray machine. B, a credit card swiper for when your insurance doesn't cover the visit, or C, an exam table with stirrups. What?

[Melanie Morgan]

Inclusive. Inclusive it is.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, very much so.

[Melanie Morgan]

I want it to be C, but I think it's B. What do you think?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think maybe. Maybe A. But now it's going to be B, because I did. I'm wrong.

[Melanie Morgan]

I'm going to say C. We're parting ways.

[Bill Curtis]

All right.

[Peter Sagal]

This is fascinating. I think it's an amazing sort of glimpse into your working process. So, Ben, you're picking A, which was the real working X ray machine. Melissa, you're picking C, the examiner.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No, I'm going to switch.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm switching to C. You're switching to C. Oh, wow. All right, now we see how the movie gets made. All right, so you're both choosing. Ben, you're following Melissa's lead and going to C. The exam table with stirrups. It was actually B, the credit card swiper, the detail.

[Melanie Morgan]

You talked me out of it.

[Peter Sagal]

The detailed medical playset is supposed to, quote, ease kids fears of doctor's visits, including the part where the insurance company refuses to cover the visit, I guess. Bill, how did Melissa and Ben do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Well, they did great. Two out of three means you're a winner here.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations.

[Melanie Morgan]

Thank you.

[Bill Curtis]

Bill.

[Peter Sagal]

You'Ve won. You can now change into your tracksuits to be comfortable at the after party. We don't mind. Ben Falcone and Melissa McCarthy are the husband and wife duo behind Lemonada's hit podcast, Hildy the Bar. Back on the Lake of Fire. You can listen to all of season one wherever you might get your podcasts. Melissa and Ben, thank you so much for joining us. And wait, wait, don't tell me what it would like to meet you. Take care. Welcome.

[Melanie Morgan]

Bye, you guys.

[Peter Sagal]

Bye.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Bye.

[Peter Sagal]

In just a minute, Bill offers a delicious beauty tip that will give you that medium rare look in our Listener limber challenge. Call-18 8- wait- wait to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, don't tell me from npr.

[NPR]

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[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't TELL Me the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Roy Blount Jr. Hari Tondabolu and Dulce Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thanks so much, everybody. In just a minute, Bill wants you to simply have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas rhyme.

[Dulce Sloan]

Aww.

[Peter Sagal]

And our listener Limber Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But first, it is time for a.

[Bill Curtis]

Game we call Doctor's Thought.

[Peter Sagal]

The news was filled recently with stories about doctors thinking they had the diagnosis right, only for it to turn out to be something else. So we're going to ask you to fill in the blank Rapid Firestyle on some of these headlines about what doctors thought. Get yours right. You get a point. So what we'll do is we'll just ask you to take your best guess as what the blank is. Here we go. First one's for you, Hari. Fill in the blank on this headline from the Telegraph newspaper, doctors thought I blanked a koala.

[Hari Kondabolu]

I birthed a koala.

[Peter Sagal]

No, it was doctors thought I got chlamydia from a koala.

[Dulce Sloan]

They have it.

[Peter Sagal]

Yep. I thought they got vaccine.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Didn't they come up with a vaccine?

[Peter Sagal]

They did. But the koalas that still got it turns out that this particular patient just had pneumonia. Apparently, as you indicate, chlamydia is very common in koalas. It's really easy to catch it from them. At least that's what that koala told me when she turned me down for a date. Dulce full in the blank on this headline from the Washington Post, doctors thought she had a deadly disease, but she was just allergic to blank talking to men. No, the real headline was doctors thought she had a deadly disease, but she was just allergic to her own tattoo. Roy, fill in the blank on this headline from the Telegraph. Doctors thought she was pregnant with twins, but it was blank.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

It was very small. Triplets.

[Peter Sagal]

No, you went the other way. The real headline was the doctors thought she was pregnant with twins, but it was just one giant. Thank you for playing doctor's thought, because remember, malpractice makes malperfect. And now some questions about the rest of the week's news. Roy. This week, a new study found that what has five times as many germs as toilet seats?

[Roy Blount Jr.]

It's a food thing, right?

[Peter Sagal]

It's not a food thing.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Not a food thing.

[Peter Sagal]

It's a thing that a lot of people have in their homes on a seasonal basis. And this is the season.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Christmas tree.

[Peter Sagal]

Christmas tree. Something on your Christmas tree?

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Oh, well, a little bulb, yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Christmas ornaments.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Ornaments, yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

It's the most filthy time of the year. Because they are handled so often and never washed. Christmas ornaments can be one of the germiest things in your house. So for a safer holiday, you can either disinfect the decorations as you put them on the tree or go the easy route and start putting all your presents underneath the toilet bowl.

[Dulce Sloan]

But they're not handled that often, and they're only handled once a year.

[Peter Sagal]

It's true. But then you never clean them. So over years, you know, all that grime and hand stuff gets all over them.

[Hari Kondabolu]

So there's a whole civilization growing on the ornaments over the course of a year?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, exactly.

[Bill Curtis]

Hello?

[Dulce Sloan]

Where's this Pixar movie?

[Peter Sagal]

Hari. A group of entrepreneurs in Russia is offering to take some of the work out of the holiday season. Offering what? For sale to anyone who wants it on the Internet for up to $50 a pair.

[Hari Kondabolu]

There's two. That means there's two of them.

[Peter Sagal]

Two of them.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Okay. Shoes.

[Peter Sagal]

No shoes.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Hands. Feet.

[Peter Sagal]

They rep eyes. They represent hands and arms. Hands and arms for a specific purpose.

[Bill Curtis]

This sounds gross.

[Peter Sagal]

I'll give you a hint. Some of them come in a package deal with a carrot and a corn cob pipe.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Oh, a Frosty the Snowman kit.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, I'll give it to you. Snowman hands. That is. Sticks.

[Hari Kondabolu]

What?

[Peter Sagal]

They're selling snowman hands. Russian online marketplaces are flooded with ads for artisanally plucked natural snowman arms with prices ranging from about $5. And basically those are just sticks to $50 for. Well, those are also just sticks. The ad for the $50 pair reads, we have a super offer. New, shiny, creative hands for your snowman. Your snowman will become a star and your neighbors will definitely envy you. Unquote.

[Dulce Sloan]

Is this for other Russians?

[Peter Sagal]

Presumably, yes.

[Dulce Sloan]

They're going to get killed.

[Hari Kondabolu]

How are they going to get killed?

[Dulce Sloan]

Because they're going to realize I can go outside and get sticks.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, no. No, they won't because the last thing you want to do is cross Russian arms. Deal coming up. It's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago. And come see us on the road. Check back in the new year for upcoming roadshows near you. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org and you can also check out our sister podcast, how to Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian make me taste some new eggnog recipes and I barely escape with my life. Hi, you were on. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Melanie Morgan]

Hi, Peter.

[Peter Sagal]

This is Becky from Madison, Wisconsin. Oh, Madison is great. A beautiful and cultured town. I love it there. What do you do for fun?

[Melanie Morgan]

For fun?

[Peter Sagal]

I guess I jigsaw puzzle and read.

[Melanie Morgan]

And go hiking and walk around the lakes.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh yeah, they have those there.

[Dulce Sloan]

Does she take her cat?

[Peter Sagal]

Do you take your cat when you hike around the lakes? I wish. I think that will be a goal in the new year. Sure. Absolutely. For you, if not the cat. Well, welcome to the show, Becky. Bill Curtis is going to perform for you 3news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two little limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to go? I'm ready. Here's your first limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

Brushing Fido's a bit of a slug, but as pet owner, I go whole hog. First I taught him to sit, now I use him to knit. I spun yarn with the hair from my dog.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, from your dog. Dog fur knitting is back, baby. According to a new op ed, after its initial heyday in the 90s, people are once again collecting their dog's hair, spinning it into yarn, and knitting it into disgusting little sweaters. Why stop there? You know, why not collect all your dog's drool and throw it in your Brita? People advocating for dog hair garments argue it's warmer than sheep's wool. And also animal shelters just don't have any sheep. You can also collect all the material you need by sitting on any dog owner's couch.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Wait, this was a trend in the.

[Peter Sagal]

Past, this is a Trend in the 90s and it's come back making sweaters out of your dog hair. You take the dog hair, you collect it, brush it out, whatever you have to spin it into yarn, and then you knit a sweater. And nobody will know that you're wearing clothing made out of dog fur. Unless, of course, you wear it in the rain.

[Dulce Sloan]

Y'all wear it. You mean to tell me that there's people in here that act like that they wouldn't wear a dog hair sweat.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Too good for your own dog?

[Peter Sagal]

Here is your next limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

Hot men aren't hard edged or feudal and rodent dudes pack your caboodle. A modern cute gent, eh? He's barely al dente. He is skinny and limp like a noodle.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, noodle. Move over, rat Boys. The new Hollywood heartthrob archetype is noodle boys. Actually, stay there, Rat Boys. A lot of you are the same people. We're talking about these floppy haired, wispy, armed Hollywood stars like Timothee Chalamet and Finn Wolfhard, who I refuse to believe is not a character from the Flintstones. According to the New York Times, our pop culture fixation has moved away from men who look like they spend hours in the gym to men who look like they've just coughed up blood into a handkerchief.

[Dulce Sloan]

I don't like this man. I don't like this man. I've never liked this man.

[Peter Sagal]

Which man?

[Dulce Sloan]

A wisp of a man.

[Peter Sagal]

A wisp of a fellow girl I.

[Dulce Sloan]

Don'T want a man is going to fall through a crack in the floor. I'm a whole woman.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Wait, so the rat boy craze. Who, who was in the Rat Boy?

[Dulce Sloan]

That was last summer.

[Peter Sagal]

Last summer we were told that all the guys were into rat boys. Who were these sort of vaguely feral or I guess looking guys?

[Dulce Sloan]

Timothy Chalamet.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, basically whatever Timothy Chalamet looks like. Now that's the trend, right?

[Dulce Sloan]

I can't wait till that boy hits puberty.

[Peter Sagal]

Here is your last limrit.

[Bill Curtis]

From this tallow, my skin gets relief. But the Internet's giving me grief. The fat from a cow makes a wrinkle free brow. So I'm rubbing my face with some beef.

[Peter Sagal]

Beef?

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

According to the New York Times, more and more people are turning to beef tallow. That's beef. Fat is a cheap and natural alternative to commercial skin care products. So stop shopping for skincare at Sephora, start shopping at the dumpster behind a Ruth's Chris steakhouse. Users claim slathering pure beef fat on their faces makes their skin look nourished and gives them that fresh off the grill glow.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

So it's dog hair and beef tallow?

[Peter Sagal]

Basically, yeah.

[Dulce Sloan]

So basically we're just England in the 1500s, right?

[Peter Sagal]

Bill, how did Becky do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

She is a champion. Becky, good job.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations, Becky. Well done.

[Dulce Sloan]

You still cheer for Becky? Is this okay?

[Peter Sagal]

You can cheer for Becky. Congratulations and thanks so much for playing. Thank you. This was fun. Bye bye.

[NPR]

This message comes from BetterHelp. This holiday season, do something for a special person in your life. You give yourself the gift of better mental health. BetterHelp online therapy connects you with a qualified therapist via phone, video or live chat. It's convenient and affordable and can be done from the comfort of your own home. Having someone to talk to is truly a gift, especially during the holidays. Visit betterhelp.com NPR to get 10% off your first month support for NPR. And the following message come from Mint Mobile. If saving more and spending less is one of your top goals for 2025, switch to mint Mobile. Maximize your savings with plans starting at $15 a month. When you purchase a three month plan, go to mintmobile.com wait. $45 upfront payment required. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 GB on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. This message comes from Instacart. The holidays are all about sharing with family meals, stories, Grandma's secret pecan pie recipe, and now you can also share a cart. With Instacart's family carts, everyone can add what they want to one group cart from wherever they are. So you don't have to go from room to room to collect votes for sugar cookies versus shortbread. Just share a cart, download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.

[Peter Sagal]

Now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

[Bill Curtis]

Dulce and Roy each have two and Hari has three.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, so why don't we do this since Dulce and Roy are in second place? Dulcie, I will start with you. You ready to play? Because you were eager to go. Here we go. Dulce, you're up first. The clock will Start when I begin. Your first question. Fill in the blank. On Monday, doctors in Louisiana confirmed the first severe human case of blank flu in the us. Yes. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case that could effectively ban social media app blank TikTok. Right. This week, the Biden administration set new pollution goals to help combat blank climate change. Right. On Thursday, the Teamsters launched the largest ever strike against online shopping giant blank Amazon. Right. This week, a man in Singapore who drove directly into a guarded military camp said he did it because he wanted to blank get. No, he just wanted to see. He said how security would react. On Wednesday, the CDC confirmed that US Blank had risen to 78.8.4 years average agency life expectancy. Right. According to a new study, moderate blanking may be healthier than teetotalling. What?

[Dulce Sloan]

Oh, drinking.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. 80 people got food poisoning at an LA Times event celebrating blank food. Good enough. They got food poisoning at an event celebrating the best restaurants in LA. A norovirus outbreak linked to oysters poisoned 80 people who paid $159 to get into a celebration of the finest cuisine in the city. With the people who paid 350 for VIP tickets getting VIB. Very important. Vomiting.

[Dulce Sloan]

Yeah.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Yeah. Well, oysters are worth it.

[Peter Sagal]

Are they? Bill, how did Dulce doing? Our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Dulce got seven. Right. For 14 more points. A total of 16. Dulce has the lead.

[Dulce Sloan]

All right.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, Roy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a House panel voted to release the ethics report on blank.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Matt Graetz Gates.

[Peter Sagal]

That's right. On Monday, Olaf Scholz, the Chancellor of Blank, lost a no confidence vote.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Sweden?

[Peter Sagal]

No, Germany. This week, the Federal Reserve cut blanks by a quarter point.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

We got the interest rate.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Wednesday, the FAA reported that over 100 blanks have been hit by laser pointers this month.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Planes.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Airplanes. This week, a woman in California sued her parents because she claimed they gave her blank chlamydia. No, they gave her all of their ugliest jeans. On Monday, US entomologists confirmed that the invasive Blank Hornet threat had been eliminated.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

The Bandit Hornet. The Outlaw Hornet. The Illegal Hornet. The.

[Peter Sagal]

You're so close. No, it's the Murder Hornet.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Murder Hornet.

[Peter Sagal]

This week, a criminal in Massachusetts was caught by police after he got stuck.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Trying to blank get through a miserable round of questioning.

[Peter Sagal]

Whoa. No, he. He was caught while trying to escape down a family's chimney after evading police by jumping from roof to roof. The man made a huge mistake when he got stuck trying to escape down a chimney. There's the nice list. And there's the naughty list. But it's so rare we get somebody on Santa's stay in your lane list. Bill, how did Roy do in our quiz? Three.

[Bill Curtis]

Right. Six more points. Total of eight for Roy.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, how many then does Hari need to win?

[Bill Curtis]

7 to win.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here we go. Hari. This is for the game. On Thursday, Luigi Mangione agreed to be extradited to Blank for his trial. New York, right. On Wednesday, OpenAI announced that you can now use a 1-800-number to call Blank Domino's Nicole Chatgpt this week, NASA confirmed that the two astronauts stuck on the blank will be there till late March Spaceship. Right. Well, space station. On Wednesday, Taylor Swift through a huge party to celebrate the end of her Blank tour. Eras Tour Right. This week, a report revealed that the owner of the New York jets scuttled a trade for star receiver Jerry Judy because Blank slept with his wife. No, because his player rating in the Madden video game was too low. In a possible link to climate change, researchers warned that some blanks had become carnivores.

[Hari Kondabolu]

Herbivores?

[Peter Sagal]

No, squirrels. A squeamish man whose wife was in the bathroom sickly with food poisoning was able to comfort her and keep his distance by Blanking hiding under the bed? No, he comforted her from a safe distance by rubbing her back with a Swiffer mop while his wife cradled the toilet. The husband was hiding in the hallway and rubbing her back from about 4ft away with her Swiffer. It was a gesture just around the corner from Sweet. It was so nice. He also sent the Roomba in when he had to step away, so there was somebody there at least to repeatedly bump her bill. Did Hari do well enough to win?

[Bill Curtis]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

He got three. Right.

[Bill Curtis]

Six more points. Nine is the total. But guess who won.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, our panelists predict what would be the best Christmas present of the year. But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent overlord Philip Gauedka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Lederman, composer atheme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Drombos and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey. Santa's little helper is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, Technical director. From Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillock. And the executive producer of Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the best present received this year?

[Hari Kondabolu]

Hari kondabolu, the Earth is one year closer to getting these pesky humans out of here.

[Roy Blount Jr.]

Roy Blunt Jr. Jimmy Carter will get heaven with a high five from Abe Lincoln.

[Dulce Sloan]

And Dulce Sloan, Mr. Scrooge is going to wake up on Christmas morning and save TikTok.

[Bill Curtis]

Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it right here on Wait Wait, Don't Tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Roy Blunt Jr. Dulce Sloan and Harry Kondaboulou. Thanks to all of you for listening. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater. Happy holidays from everybody here. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR Support for this podcast.

[NPR]

And the following message come from Autograph Collection hotels. With over 300 independent hotels around the world, each exactly like nothing else, Autograph Collection is part of the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio of hotel brands. Find the [e-mail] this message comes from GiveWell.

[Capella University]

GiveWell provides rigorous, transparent research about the best giving opportunities so that donors can make informed decisions about high impact giving. To learn more, go to givewell.org and pick podcast and enter NPR at checkout.

[NPR]

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