WWDTM: Pedro Pascal, Chris Perfetti, Heather Gay, and more!

Summary

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! (NPR)

Episode: Pedro Pascal, Chris Perfetti, Heather Gay, and More!
Air date: January 12, 2026
Host: Peter Sagal
Panelists/Guests: Tom Papa (guest host), Nagin Farsad, Alonzo Bodden, Paula Poundstone, Eugene Cordero, Chris Perfetti, Heather Gay, Pedro Pascal

Overview

This extra-lively, nostalgia-soaked "Happy Old Year's Day Edition" of NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! features celebrity interviews (Pedro Pascal, Chris Perfetti, and Heather Gay), games, surprising news stories, and the panel's trademark comedic banter. Kicking off the new year by refusing to acknowledge it, the show delivers laughs while highlighting pop culture, absurd headlines, and quirky personal stories from the guest lineup.

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Key Segments and Highlights

Pedro Pascal Interview

Guest host: Tom Papa, with Peter Sagal, Nagin Farsad, Bill Curtis, and panel
[01:33–11:56]

Early Acting Struggles and Waiting Tables

• Pedro recalls his long journey as a struggling actor in New York, candidly admitting:
  • "That was like the longest role of my life was struggling acting." (Pedro Pascal, 02:36)
  • He was a "bad waiter" at first, but got the hang of it after years:

    "I was a waiter, and I was really bad at it..." (02:49)

  • Humorously likens waiting tables to theater: "Act one, the water, act two, the drink, act three, the upsell..." (03:31)

Early Apartments and "The Last of Us"

• Pedro compared his scary NYC apartments to zombie apocalypses:
  • "Maybe to some people, my apartment in Red Hook, Brooklyn (is scarier), but to me, definitely the post-apocalyptic fungal nightmare." (04:23)
  • Jokes: "Although there was a lot of fungal nightmares in that apartment." (05:05)
• His attempt at playing The Last of Us video game:
  • "I tried, I really, really did try...and my nephew didn’t have the patience, so he took the console from me..." (05:36)
  • "I was just like running in a corner and I couldn’t get out of a corner..." (05:59)
• Humorous banter on being named "Grindr's 2024 Hottest Man"—which Pedro doubts is real:
  • "You're lying to me." (06:41)
  • "If that is the truth, then I need to go." (06:48)

Game: 'The Last of Us Weekly'

• Pedro answers questions about Us Weekly magazine trivia, featuring panel jokes about magazine covers, Cher's imaginary lumberjack friends, and mundane celebrity routines.
• Wins the game easily:
  • "Could he do anything better than be a winner?" (Bill Curtis, 11:35)

News & Panel Banter Highlights

[13:20–20:32]

• Miscellaneous stories told with classic panel sass:
  • Strangely famous on TV: An elderly footballer in Bulgaria watches his own memorial live, a delivery man’s speedy run from a dog lands a scholarship, and a man's roofing business booms after being shown in news stock footage about junk food.
  • Game show with listener Kim (from Maine), ending with a quip "You earned a point for her for doing so. But you yourself have won our prize…" (19:51)

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Chris Perfetti Interview (Abbott Elementary)

Guest host: Nagin Farsad
[21:01–30:29]

Barista Beginnings & Theater Mishaps

• Chris talks about using a Starbucks job loophole to support his drama school ambitions:
  • "I sort of used it as a way to get a job elsewhere..." (21:16)
• Theater gone wrong:
  • "Sometimes it rains halfway through, and you flip and fall on your butt in front of everyone." (22:49)

Abbott Elementary Inside Scoop

• Wait Wait fan connection:
  • "Did you know about Wait, Wait... before you were that character?"
    "Are you kidding?...Yes." (23:44)
  • Chris's real life increasingly overlaps with his character, Jacob.
• His mom pitches ideas for Abbott:
  • "Yeah, she totally does. God bless her." (25:02)
  • She gives plot notes every week—"That's always a joy." (25:20)
• On feedback from former teachers: "If they ever saw me in person again, they would probably physically harm me...I made their lives a living hell." (25:48)

Game: Monk Trivia ("Meet the Elementary Abbott")

• Quirky monk facts: monks call cats while silent, a monk feuds with Yelp reviewers, and 500 monks' stomps included in "Law & Order" dun-dun sound.
• Chris aces the quiz, affectionately told:
  • "The teacher is always right. And this teacher got every single one correct." (Bill Curtis, 30:05)

---

Heather Gay Interview (Real Housewives of Salt Lake City)

Host: Peter Sagal
[38:26–47:33]

On Being a "Real" Real Housewife

• Heather on authenticity:
  • "We are all pretty real...We are just messed up enough to keep it interesting." (38:40)
• On Housewives' iconic "taglines":
  • "It's called your tagline...your season tagline." (39:56)
  • Her favorite: "Just like my pioneer ancestors, I'm trying to blaze a new trail." (40:00)
  • Reveals taglines are assigned:
    "They’re allowed to contribute ideas, but they shut those down immediately." (40:34)
• Workshop joke taglines with Heather, panelists.

"Good Time Girl" Memoir & Life After Mormonism

• Heather shares a colorful story from her book about a Tijuana senior trip, discovering her "good time" side, and later serving a challenging LDS mission in wine-rich Provence:
  • "Yes, the land of love. And I was preaching celibacy." (42:40)
  • "Sober living? Not so great. Not so great. Not so receptive. The mission was actually closed down." (42:46)

Game: Female Criminals

• Florida robber escapes via Uber, drug scientist in Massachusetts gets busted, and Ma Barker inspires picnicking shootout audiences
• Heather goes 3/3, panelists riff:
  • "I'm a Good time girl, not a great time girl." (45:24)
  • "Don't challenge me with perfection. I will take it." (46:50)

---

Notable Quotes

• Pedro Pascal:

  • "[Being a struggling actor] was like the longest role of my life." (02:36)
  • "I was a waiter, and I was really bad at it, but...I did eventually learn how to wait tables." (02:49)
  • "Maybe to some people, my apartment in Red Hook, Brooklyn [was scarier], but to me, definitely the post-apocalyptic fungal nightmare." (04:23)
  • "I was just like running in a corner and I couldn’t get out of a corner..." (05:59)

• Chris Perfetti:

  • "I really enjoyed school, but school did not enjoy me." (26:10)
  • "My mother has given notes on everything I have done since the day [I was born]." (25:28)

• Heather Gay:

  • "We are all pretty real. And I think Salt Lake City keeps us real." (38:40)
  • "Just like my pioneer ancestors, I’m trying to blaze a new trail." (40:00)
  • "I'm a Good time girl, not a great time girl." (45:24)

• Panel banter:

  • "You have to be a minion? Yeah, pretty much. You just have to be a banana." (32:14)
  • "Dessert-based fragrances now dominate the market...if you put these on...you’re going to attract bees." (33:43)
  • "Grown ups are competing in childhood games...with the energy of youth and the knees of age." (35:50)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:33 — Pedro Pascal joins, discusses acting and waiting tables
• 05:36 — Pedro on failing at The Last of Us video game
• 07:25 — 'The Last of Us Weekly' game for Pedro
• 11:46 — Pedro Pascal’s quiz results; wrap up
• 21:01 — Chris Perfetti interview (barista stories, Abbott Elementary)
• 24:14 — Wait Wait... as a character trait in Abbott Elementary
• 25:02 — Chris confirms mom pitches for Abbott
• 27:12 — Monk trivia game with Chris
• 38:40 — Heather Gay discusses authenticity and taglines in Real Housewives
• 41:03 — Heather reveals the evolution and assignment of taglines
• 42:10 — Stories from "Good Time Girl" memoir
• 43:32 — Heather’s game: female criminals
• 47:21 — Heather finishes the quiz, wins for listener

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains the classic, witty, self-aware "Wait Wait..." tone: irreverent, playful, quick with pop culture references, and densely packed with punchlines. The guests and panelists all share personal tales with a refreshing lack of pretense, and the host keeps the energy high with rapid-fire exchanges, asides, and self-effacing jokes.

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Perfect For

• Fans of comedic quizzes and celebrity interviews
• Admirers of Pedro Pascal, Chris Perfetti, or Heather Gay wanting a personal, humorous glimpse behind the scenes
• Anyone who enjoys spirited, clever, and affectionate tackling of offbeat headlines, pop culture, and the quirks of everyday life

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Transcript

[Nagin Farsad]

Netflix's Stranger Things has reached its end, and we're unpacking the biggest moments in the final season. We'll talk about what we thought of the finale, what happened to our heroes when they set out to battle the forces of evil one last time. And, of course, the terrible wigs. Listen to pop culture Happy hour in the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bill Curtis]

From npr and wbez chicago. This is. Wait, wait, don't tell me. The npr news quiz. That big ball in times square doesn't drop until it hears me count down from 10. I'm bill curtis, and here is your host at the studebaker theatre in the fine arts building in chicago, illinois, peter sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. The new year has begun, but since we're so nervous about what's going to happen, we've decided to just pretend that it hasn't.

[Bill Curtis]

2025 isn't over until I say it's over.

[Peter Sagal]

So we're gonna spend another show forthrightly avoiding the future. And we'll start with something it killed me to miss when it happened. Pedro Pascal is one of my favorite actors. So I was extremely jealous of guest host Tom Papa getting to interview him in August.

[Bill Curtis]

It was better this way, Peter. You would have fainted dead away the second you saw his face.

[Peter Sagal]

Than. Thank you.

[Pedro Pascal]

Thank you for having me.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

So great to see you. It's really nice to meet you. I feel like, we all feel like we know you because you're literally in every movie. How do you.

[Pedro Pascal]

I know. I'm sorry about that.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

No, you're making us all very happy. How do you keep your characters straight? You must be filming some of these things at the same time. Right.

[Pedro Pascal]

There were intersections and, you know, I'm in about 10 minutes of Eddington, and Eddington is 2 hours and 20 minutes. So there was time.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

Right. It's not that hard. But I mean, what a run. I mean, narcos and Game of Thrones, Marvel, dc, Star Wars. Are you going to leave anything for any other actor or. No, no, no.

[Peter Sagal]

It's all mine.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

You started as an actor in New York mainly, Right. You were a struggling actor in New York.

[Pedro Pascal]

Yes.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

Right.

[Pedro Pascal]

Yes. That was like the longest role of my life was struggling acting.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

And how. And you must have started getting parts there and you slowly. Did you do, like, commercial work, that kind of stuff?

[Pedro Pascal]

I mean, I couldn't get arrested, to be honest with you. There was, I had like a little bit of a promising start with jobs that were in Los Angeles actually But as far as New York was concerned, it just was a rough go. I was a waiter, and I was really bad at it, but I still didn't have the skill to learn something else. And I did eventually learn how to wait tables. I became good at it, but, boy, it took years.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

What was the struggle in waiting tables for you? What was the hard part?

[Pedro Pascal]

Just the logistical labor of meeting everyone's needs in the right manner. You know, the act one, the water, act two, the drink, act three, the. You know what I mean, upsell, you know, like the whole everything and making them feel attended to and respected and everything. And I, you know, I desperately didn't want to be there.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

I'm going to be honest with you.

[Alonzo Bowden]

I've never understood the waiter's journey until that moment.

[Peter Sagal]

Pedro, that was. That was beautiful. Like, wow, I'm gonna tip more every time. Like, I see what you're doing, man.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

So at that time, what was scarier? The world in the Last of us or your first apartment in New York?

[Pedro Pascal]

Oh, gosh.

[Bill Curtis]

Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow.

[Nagin Farsad]

Okay.

[Pedro Pascal]

Yeah, exactly. I mean, you know, I thought my apartment was really cute. And when I moved out to Brooklyn, the only place that I could afford was a tiny little place in Red Hook. And I remember taking a friend of mine to it years, years, years later while I still had the lease. And she looked like she was gonna cry knowing that I lived there for 12 years. Like, she just was dumbfounded and it was hilarious. So, I don't know, maybe to some people, my apartment in Red Hook, Brooklyn, but to me, definitely the post apocalyptic fungal nightmare.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Pedro Pascal]

Although there was a lot of fungal nightmares in that apartment.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

I was curious for the Last of Us, which is so brilliant, but I know so many people. And Peter, who I'm filling in for today, he played the last of us on his PlayStation, the video game. And he was so moved. He talks to me about it like he's so moved by that game. It really hooked people in a profound way. Did you play that game before you start in the adaptation?

[Pedro Pascal]

No, I tried. I really, really did try. I tried, I tried. And my nephew didn't have the patience, so he took the console for me and I said. And I was just like, well, then you do it.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm sorry.

[Pedro Pascal]

And, and, and, and so I just watched him play. It's a skill. It's such a thumbs. I was like, it is. You know, I mean, you know, I was just like running in a corner and I couldn't get out of a corner. You gotta, like, pick up the ladder and you gotta. You know, all these things. I couldn't figure it out.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

It's funny to think of you going through the script when you get the role and looking like. Where'? Corner scene.

[Pedro Pascal]

Yeah, exactly.

[Peter Sagal]

Very good.

[Pedro Pascal]

Running in place.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

And you've been recognized by so many award committees. How did it feel to be named Grindr's 2024 Hottest man of the Year?

[Peter Sagal]

You.

[Pedro Pascal]

Are lying to me.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

You don't. You. You're not aware of this.

[Pedro Pascal]

You're lying to me. I'm not. If that is the truth, then I need to go. Except it's 2025.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

You're probably. Yeah, the buzz is worn off. All right.

[Peter Sagal]

My ear.

[Pedro Pascal]

And I didn't.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

All right, Pedro Pascal, we've asked you here to play a game we're calling.

[Bill Curtis]

The Last of Us Weekly.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

You star in HBO's the Last of Us, but what do you know about Us Weekly, the celebrity gossip magazine for folks who think People magazine is too literary? Answer 2 out of 3 questions raised and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Pedro playing for?

[Bill Curtis]

John Biba of New Market, New Hampshire.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

All right. All right. You ready to play?

[Pedro Pascal]

I'm ready to play.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

Okay, here's your first question. Us Weekly is one of the best selling magazines in the world, but some issues sell better than others. According to a former employee. Which of these is the kiss of death for an issue of Us Weekly? A, when the note from the editor at the beginning of the magazine starts with, listen, they can't all be winners. B, when the issue includes the rare stars, they're just like us, only much, much better column. Or C, when the magazine's cover has a picture of literally any man on it?

[Pedro Pascal]

That's too many words.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

Let's do C. C. The answer is C. You're right. According to the employee, having a picture of a man on the COVID pretty much guarantees that the magazine will undersell. Which is crazy, because who doesn't want to know about Kevin Jonas skincare routine? Here's your next question. Slate called Us Weekly Celebrity Questionnaire 25 Things yous Don't Know About Me, the best magazine feature in all of media. As proof, they cited Cher's 2013 profile where she revealed what? A, that she's gone by just Cher for so long she's completely forgotten what her last name is. B, that all of her imaginary friends growing up were lumberjacks. Or C, that the original lyrics for if I Could Turn Back Time were about stopping the JFK assassination.

[Pedro Pascal]

My God. I mean, it's Gotta be B. Those were my friends.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

You're right, it was B. Cher also revealed that she owns, quote, a large collection of elephants.

[Pedro Pascal]

Real ones.

[Peter Sagal]

You can't have a small collection of elephants.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

All right, all right. Here's your last question. Without a doubt, the most popular section in Us Weekly is Stars They're Just Like Us, where the magazine posts pictures of celebrities doing everyday things with captions including which of these A, they tie their own shoes, B, they eat Mexican food or C, they squint in the sun.

[Peter Sagal]

What?

[Pedro Pascal]

I'm allowed to get, like, help from the audience right between A and C.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

What they said.

[Peter Sagal]

All of them.

[Nagin Farsad]

All of them.

[Pedro Pascal]

All of them. They would literally say they eat Mexican food.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

You're right. All of the above. But thankfully, they don't do all those things at the same time. BILL how did Pedro Pascal do on our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Could he do anything better than be a winner? Pedro yeah.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

Pedro Pascal is starring in the Fantastic Four and he's up for an Emmy for HBO's the Last of Us. Pedro Pascal, thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait, the Entombment.

[Peter Sagal]

Great job. When we come back, some of our panelists, best lies of the past year and how Abbott Elementary Celebration subtly let you know that one of its characters was secretly a genius. That's when we return with more of Wait, Wait, don't tell me from NPR. On NPR's wildcard podcast, heavyweight host Jonathan.

[Heather Gay]

Goldstein talks about his early years as a writer.

[Pedro Pascal]

I was writing and no one was buying what I was selling. I just couldn't get anywhere. And I just kept doing it because I felt compelled to do it, like a spider spinning a web.

[Peter Sagal]

Listen to that Wildcard conversation on the.

[Heather Gay]

NPR app or wherever you get your podcast.

[Peter Sagal]

NPR's podcast, Trump's Terms, is your source for same day updates on big news about the Trump administration. Short, focused episodes, one topic at a time, about five minutes or so. We carry out reporting from across all of NPR's coverage. So you are always getting the biggest, most urgent stories. Listen to Trump's Terms on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell Me. The NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. So thank you. So we know the calendar says it is now 2026, but we are refusing to look at it.

[Bill Curtis]

Imagine saying la, la, la. We can't hear you, but with your eyes.

[Peter Sagal]

In our world, it's still 2025 and it is so great here. For example, here are our panelists lovingly lying to you in a show we did in March.

[Nagin Farsad]

Hi, Peter, this is Kim and I'm calling from Cumberland, Maine. I was born and raised in Saskatchewan.

[Peter Sagal]

Right, so you moved from Saskatchewan, Canada to Maine, the United States?

[Heather Gay]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Do you regret that now?

[Nagin Farsad]

Sometimes, yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

What do you do there in Cumberland, Maine?

[Nagin Farsad]

So I'm a primary care doctor.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, you are?

[Nagin Farsad]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Yep. That's the best kind of doctor as far as I'm concerned.

[Nagin Farsad]

Yeah. All about the preventative care.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, exactly. Well, welcome to our show, Kim. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kim's topic?

[Bill Curtis]

Honey, you're on tv.

[Peter Sagal]

It's always fun to be on tv, whether it's being interviewed in the local news or maybe seen in the crowd at a football game or French kissing your brother on the White Lotus. This week we heard about somebody getting on screen for a somewhat surprising reason. Our panel is each going to tell you about it. Pick the real story. You will win our prize. The wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes. All right, let's hear first from Paula Poundstone.

[Paula Poundstone]

Just before the start of their recent soccer game, Bulgarian team Arda paid tribute to recently deceased former team member Petko Gonchev. Both teams lined up and bowed their heads for a moment of silence. Meanwhile, the 78 year old Goncheville was running late to get home to watch the game on tv, as was his practice. He wasn't dead when he pulled up at his house. His wife came out crying and shouting, Petko, Petko. They announced on TV that you were dead. Guanchev was so shaken by not being dead, he downed a glass of brandy. So many people called me relatives, friends, acquaintances and not so big acquaintances, Gontschev said. Like maybe Stoyan, Ivan's friend from the bar that he met that time. Petko? Yes, it's me, Stojan. Do I know you? Yes, we met at the bar that time. I'm Ivan's friend. Were you wearing a striped shirt? No, I had a blue shirt. Oh, yes. Stojen. Hello, Petko. Are you dead?

[Peter Sagal]

Petko may not have been dead, but he did watch a moment of silence for himself on the TV before a soccer game. Your next story of a television tale comes from Alonzo Bowden.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Matt Collins worked for Amazon. Everyone thought Amazon prime one day delivery was fast. Then they saw Matt run Kcab obtained this video from a neighbor's ring camera. Matt was dropping a package when Thor, a notorious neighborhood German shepherd, got loose. In the video, Matt ran past his truck, leaped a small garden hedge and increased the distance between himself and Thor until Thor simply gave up. Thor wasn't the only one to see Matt run. Pete Walker, who once coached Deion Primetime Sanders, said Matt was the fastest man he's seen since he saw Deion run a 42440 in college. Pete had to find and time Matt. Matt ran a 435 fourty now. It's rumored Thor's 40 time was about 4 5, but no one's been brave enough to verify that. It turned out Matt had been a high school player, but he didn't get recruited for college and was working at Amazon to help pay for his education. Well, Matt won't have that problem anymore since he didn't play college ball. Even at age 21. Matt had his full eligibility and is now a full time scholarship as cornerback at Alcorn State University.

[Peter Sagal]

An Amazon delivery man is caught on camera outrunning a German shepherd and gets himself a football scholarship. Your last story of somebody getting screen time comes from Eugene Cordero.

[Eugene Cordero]

When Jason Estrellas of Alhambra, California began his day with his usual cup of coffee and switching on the local morning news, he was met with a story asking, are we too addicted to junk food? During the segment, it showed stock footage of various people eating fast food or drinking soda. There was one noticeable snippet to Mr. Estrellas of a man drinking an extra large soda, holding a hot dog and wearing a green T shirt that read got a bad case of bad shingles. We can cure it. Estrellas Roofing this was, in fact, Jason Estrellas himself in the video, and he was shocked. I was excited at first that I was on the news until I saw what the story was about, said Astrellis. But lucky for him, more people were intrigued with the shirt than they were about his quick meal options that he chose. Business has picked up quite a bit, Mr. Estrella said. I hope they keep using the footage. It's free advertising. Plus, a few customers have had hot dogs ready when I arrived to do the job.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here are your three choices. Somebody was surprised to see themselves on tv. Was it from Paula Poundstone, an elderly former soccer player who watched his own memorial service with a moment of silence even though he was still alive to watch it? From Alonzo Boden, an Amazon delivery guy who was caught on camera and then on the news sprinting so fast he got himself a gig in a football team. Or from Eugene Cordero, a man who saw himself used as an example of an unhealthy lifestyle, but it ended up bringing him some business. Which of these is the real story of a surprise TV appearance?

[Nagin Farsad]

I think I'm gonna go with Paula' story.

[Peter Sagal]

You're going to go with Paula's story? Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter covering the real story at a football match in Bulgaria. There was a minute silence for a former player of PFC Arda who wasn't actually dead. That was Guardian reporter Paul McIn talking about the moment of silence at the soccer game. Congratulations, Kim. Paula was telling the truth. I took a moment to glare at the people who objected. Paula was telling the truth. You earned a point for her for doing so. But you yourself have won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail.

[Paula Poundstone]

Awesome.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations. Well done. Thanks for calling and playing.

[Alonzo Bowden]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Here is another interview I am really eager to revisit because I missed it the first time.

[Bill Curtis]

In June, guest host Nagin Farsad interviewed actor Chris Perfetti from the hit sitcom Abbott Elementary. And they talked about what makes Chris character the smartest, most sophisticated person ever seen on tv.

[Nagin Farsad]

Chris, I, first of all, love the show. You're so funny. We have something in common. We both started out our careers in entertainment as baristas, apparently. You were a Starbucks barista, is that right?

[Chris Perfetti]

I was. I still feel bad about it to this day, but I sort of used it as a way to get a job elsewhere. I knew about this kind of like, Starbucks loophole that if you got hired, you could be transferred somewhere. And I knew when I went to drama school, I needed a job, and so I didn't tell them, but I, you know, applied and got a job in my hometown just so that I would have somewhere to work when I went to school.

[Nagin Farsad]

Oh, wow, okay. So then they just put you at another Starbucks?

[Chris Perfetti]

Yeah, there's like, a few of them, I guess.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Nagin Farsad]

And then. Okay, so as a Starbucks barista, did you intentionally screw up names on the cup?

[Chris Perfetti]

I was not trusted with the customers. They learned very early to put me at the bar to make the drinks. I was really good at that. I could, you know.

[Nagin Farsad]

But were you doing the hearts, the heart shapes and the palm tree shapes on the foam?

[Chris Perfetti]

Oh, no. There was no time. What are you talking about? There was. I feel like I worked at quite possibly the busiest Starbucks in the world. And so you were just lucky if your order came out.

[Peter Sagal]

Correct.

[Nagin Farsad]

So you spent this time at Starbucks, but you did a. You know, you put a lot of time in serious theater. Is there, like, a favorite theatrical piece that you did?

[Chris Perfetti]

I don't know. I think doing Shakespeare in the park really kind of, like, came up first for me. You're doing a play for, first of all, just so many people. It's outdoors, and sometimes it rains halfway through, and you flip and fall on your butt in front of everyone.

[Nagin Farsad]

Did that happen? You fell on your butt in front of everyone?

[Peter Sagal]

Maybe.

[Chris Perfetti]

Maybe it happened more than once.

[Nagin Farsad]

Now, let's actually. Let's talk about Abbott elementary, and there's something about that show, the elephant in the Room, which is that you have one major quirk in the show. Your character is a huge. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Fan. Now, that's. Yeah. Huge fan of the show. Now, I want you to be honest. Did you know about. Wait, wait. Before you were that character?

[Chris Perfetti]

Are you kidding?

[Peter Sagal]

Negeen?

[Chris Perfetti]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, thank God.

[Chris Perfetti]

And you saying that just kind of has renewed my fears about season five. I'm terrified about, you know, the line between Chris and Jacob is getting very blurry and decided to not share with Quinta any other personal details about my life because, you know, we show up to a table read, and there it is. So, yeah, I'm so glad that that made it into our show.

[Nagin Farsad]

So, like, so when that trait was given to you, did that affect, like, how you did that character? Was it. Were you like, oh, no, I got this. Like, how did.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

What.

[Nagin Farsad]

What did you change about the character? Knowing that you could go full weight. Wait, Dork.

[Chris Perfetti]

Really? Not much. I mean, I feel like Quinta has given us such permission to, you know, be sort of the authority on these characters, and I think it made perfect sense. And once again, I'm just, like, I'm terrified about what's going to show up next year.

[Nagin Farsad]

Now, actually. So I heard this rumor, and I wonder if it's true. I heard a rumor that your mom pitches ideas for Abbott Elementary.

[Chris Perfetti]

Yeah, she totally does. God bless her. She's. She reminds me that the show is on, and she likes to, you know, kind of, like, go through the plot of that week with me when I.

[Nagin Farsad]

Call on Sundays and she gives notes.

[Chris Perfetti]

That's always a joy. Yeah, yeah, she thinks.

[Nagin Farsad]

I'm sure. Did she also do that with Shakespeare in the Park?

[Chris Perfetti]

My mother has given notes on everything I have done since the day.

[Nagin Farsad]

So you play this iconic teacher on tv, have your own, like, teachers from the past approach you with tips or feedback?

[Chris Perfetti]

Oh, no. I think they. I think if they ever saw me in person again, they would probably physically harm me. I made very clear of them and probably they of me. I made their lives a living hell. But I'm very.

[Nagin Farsad]

Were you, like, not a good student?

[Pedro Pascal]

Were you?

[Chris Perfetti]

No, not at all. No, no, no. I really enjoyed school, but school did not enjoy me.

[Nagin Farsad]

All right, Chris. Well, we've asked you here to play a game we're calling Abbott Elementary.

[Bill Curtis]

Meet the elementary Abbott.

[Nagin Farsad]

So you star in Abbott Elementary. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. It's going to be okay.

[Chris Perfetti]

I wasn't good at school, Nagin.

[Nagin Farsad]

Okay, so you star in Abbott Elementary. So we thought we'd ask you three questions about another kind of Abbott. That's right. We're talking about monks. Answer two out of three questions correctly, and you'll win a prize for one lucky listener, the voice of anyone they choose for their voicemail. Bill, who is Chris Perfetti playing for?

[Bill Curtis]

Jake Evans of Los Angeles, California.

[Peter Sagal]

Jacob, let's go.

[Nagin Farsad]

Okay, here's your first question. A group of monks in the French Alps have taken a vow of silence, but they are allowed to speak in certain conditions, including which of these Is it A when singing along to their favorite Bad Bunny song? Is it B when they really need to talk about a cool leaf they saw? Or is it C when calling the monastery cats to dinner by making kitty calling noises?

[Chris Perfetti]

I really didn't think I needed to hear any more options after A, but I'm glad I did. I'm gonna go with C, I think.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow. That's right.

[Bill Curtis]

Very good.

[Nagin Farsad]

That's right, every Abby make an exception to their vow of silence. As long as the monks are being adorable. Okay, here's your next question. Monks are known for living lives of peaceful contemplation, which is why one monk in Japan got in trouble when he started doing. What was it? A. Halfway through meditation time, he loudly said, boring. Is it B angrily responding to every negative Yelp review about his monastery, or is it C trying to jazz up the chants by doing some sick harmonies?

[Chris Perfetti]

I feel like I want to go with B.

[Nagin Farsad]

That is right.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Nagin Farsad]

When one reviewer complained about the food at the abbey, the monk responded, and this is true. Yeah, it's monastic cuisine. You uneducated.

[Peter Sagal]

2025 will do that to a monk. Oh, ye.

[Nagin Farsad]

All right, here is your last question. Though it surprises a lot of people, monks have unknowingly made a huge impact on pop culture, as proven by which of these Is it a Law and Order's Dun Dun sound is partly a recording of 500 monks stomping on a wood floor. Is it B, the members of the band One Direction first met during a school trip to a monastery, or C, the reason Vin Diesel shaves his head is because a monk came to him in a dream and told him he'd look cool bald.

[Chris Perfetti]

God bless you. Wait, wait, don't tell me. I'm going with those are so funny. I'm gonna go with a.

[Peter Sagal]

A. That's right.

[Nagin Farsad]

The Dun Dun also includes the sound of a hammer hitting an an. If you listen closely, the scream of a man who just hit his thumb with a hammer. Bill, how did Chris Pervetti do?

[Bill Curtis]

The teacher is always right. And this teacher got every single one correct.

[Nagin Farsad]

Yeah.

[Bill Curtis]

Mama's gonna be proud.

[Nagin Farsad]

Congratulations, Chris. You're a big winner. And Chris Perfetti is one of the stars of Abbott Elementary. All four seasons are streaming now. Chris Perfetti, thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait, don't tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Chris.

[Heather Gay]

Love you.

[Nagin Farsad]

Thank you so much, Chris.

[Peter Sagal]

When we come back, we talk to a Real Housewife of Salt Lake City, and we've got the receipts, proof, timeline and screenshots to prove it. Thank you. That's when we come back with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from npr.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. We have decided to spend the start of the new year desperately clinging to the old one.

[Bill Curtis]

Come back. 20, 25. Come back.

[Peter Sagal]

We knew all year that no matter how stressful the week was, at least at the end we got to hang out with our panelists who always made things seem, well, if not better, at least sillier. Here are some examples of what I mean. Luke, an expert on automated customer service lines, has offered some tips on how to get through it to a real person. For example, he suggests you should say one word over and over. What is that word? I don't think I can say it on public radio. That's right. We've all tried that word. But this is something you can say perhaps, if your children are listening. Oh, okay. I usually start out yelling, human. Yep. And then when that doesn't work, then I break out the F word. Right. Because I. There's an alternative to both of those. Okay. He says it'll work. Okay. Can I get a hint Give you a hint? Yeah, it might get confusing if you're calling, say, customer service for the Chiquita Corporation. Banana. Banana. Banana. You can now stop being the worst version of yourself every time you call customer service and end up screaming, speak to human representative. Representative. Now you can just say banana. Banana. Banana. Say it over and over again. The automated system is looking for certain words, so repeating a nonsense word or a word it's not programmed for over and over will get you transferred to a real person quickly. Whoa. You have to be a minion? Yeah, pretty much. You just have to be a banana. Wow. Of course, even if this works, it's hard to feel like you're winning when you're the one going banana. Banana. Banana. Paula, according to the Wall Street Journal, the cosmetics industry is finally moving away from floral and natural scents. The latest trend in perfumes and shampoos, stuff like that, is being scented. Like what?

[Eugene Cordero]

Fish?

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, no, I don't think so.

[Paula Poundstone]

I'm assuming it's popular industrial waste.

[Bill Curtis]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

I'll give you a hint. Insiders say that you should only wear. You have to be careful. You should only wear, for example, Krispy Kreme when the fresh hot sign is lit.

[Paula Poundstone]

Do you smell like donuts?

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Donuts are the new sense. According to the Wall Street Journal, dessert based fragrances now dominate the market. These are all true. There's Native's Boston Cream shampoo, Dove's Confetti Cake, Body Scrub Homeworks Apple Cider Donut fragrance. They say if you put these on, they give you this aura that says, tonight I am hitting the club and I am going to attract bees. Never dated so many cops in my life. I don't know what the hell's going on. But really it's the reaction. I think my understanding is this, this makes sense because as far as I know, it's the reaction every woman wants to a. Excuse me, miss, but I have to ask her, you wearing Duncan number five?

[Paula Poundstone]

I mean, do they make a toilet water with donut smell? Because isn't that what they call one of the products?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, toilet water. It's called toilet.

[Paula Poundstone]

Boy, that seems a turn off.

[Peter Sagal]

Toilet water, I think. It doesn't mean toilet in the sense that you're thinking.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yes, but it's the same word. Peter. And it's pronounced much the same.

[Peter Sagal]

Peter. In the latest nostalgia craze, more and more 20 and 30 somethings are getting injured. Doing what? Opening a coconut water?

[Pedro Pascal]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

Did that happen to you here? That happened to me when I cleared 40. Not a coconut. Just being like they're getting nostalgic. Jamming themselves into telephone booths. No. Is it something nostalgic like that that people, young people used to do? Well, it's nostalgic from their youth, not from, say. Oh, well, as a member of that generation. Let me just harken back. No, I'll take a hint. I'll take a hint. It's like duck, duck. Ow, my acl.

[Bill Curtis]

Oh, duck, duck, goose.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, that's a great hint. And other sort of summer camps, playground, southern guests. What you said exactly.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

Ding.

[Peter Sagal]

You're so smart.

[Pedro Pascal]

Boy.

[Peter Sagal]

I did that all by myself. Adult field days are all the rage right now. Grown ups are competing in childhood games, sack races, dodgeball, tug of war. They're doing these things with the energy of youth and the knees of age. They've even invented new games. The most popular one is called limping back to the car. But it's people in their 20s and 30s. Yeah, they shouldn't be getting injured doing that. They should be still doing it. Well, one social club in Utah drew over 300 people to their Field day event. And the only complaint was people who thought the capture the flag game involved, and this is a real quote, too much running.

[Paula Poundstone]

Yeah, that is a little weird that in their 20s and 30s they should be injured from these things.

[Peter Sagal]

They should not be getting injured. That's like people in the Olympics are that old, right? Yeah, I'm sure they are. Yeah, exactly. I think I would do it if I could could play children, because I think I could beat them. I think I could beat children, says Peter Sagal of NPR's Hotel.

[Paula Poundstone]

You know what? The federal government just pulled their funding again.

[Peter Sagal]

I know, Joyel. A recent survey of kids in the US shows 40% of children think bacon is what? Delicious? Perhaps I shall give you a hint, Joyel.

[Nagin Farsad]

For sure.

[Peter Sagal]

I would appreciate that. I think we all would. Thank you so much. And say to the kid, you know, eat all you want. It grows on trees. Oh, gosh.

[Paula Poundstone]

A plant.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. They think bacon is a plant. A survey in the Journal of Environmental psychology showed 40% of kids surveyed think bacon is a plant. The same amount of adults think it's a donut top, which is even weirder. Okay. I did used to work at a diner that had vegetarian options. And I did once serve what was supposed to be a tempeh blt, an actual BLT to a vegetarian. Ooh. And I was like, how is everything? And I saw it, and they went, this is the best tempeh I've ever had. And I just looked at Them and went, it's really good. Finally, one of the surprise TV hits of the year was Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. John Oliver, for example, said that no matter what your favorite show was, Real Housewives of SLC was better.

[Bill Curtis]

So, of course, when we visited Salt Lake in August, we welcomed that show's breakout star, Heather Gay. Peter asked the obvious question to a real housewife. Is she real?

[Heather Gay]

We are all pretty real. And I think Salt Lake City keeps us real. Like we're all each other has in this community. And we have grown up here, we have lived here, we have roots here. And we are just messed up enough to keep it interesting.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Do you think you are representative of the Housewives of Salt Lake City? Like a random sample could have ended up with the same cast?

[Heather Gay]

Yes, I feel like we are representative of the Housewives of Salt Lake City. There's a little something for everybody.

[Peter Sagal]

There you go. Now, I just want to make everybody clear to people who aren't familiar, this is not Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Okay? Different show for someone who's new to it. How would you tell the two shows apart?

[Heather Gay]

I would say that we are the Mighty Oak and Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is the acorn that fell and sprouted as a result of us.

[Peter Sagal]

Whoa. Oh, wow.

[Chris Perfetti]

You gotta tell them.

[Heather Gay]

We proved the market.

[Peter Sagal]

Tell em, baby.

[Heather Gay]

And we created, you know, a little bit of Mormonism in the zeitgeist and created intrigue.

[Peter Sagal]

I think that Mighty Oak is casting some shade. So housewives shows are known for the Housewives. Starting the show every season by turning to the camera. Right. And giving your opening, like line. Was there a technical term for that? The opening.

[Heather Gay]

It's called your tagline.

[Peter Sagal]

Your tagline?

[Heather Gay]

Yeah, your season tagline.

[Peter Sagal]

Can you share some of yours?

[Heather Gay]

My first one was just like my pioneer ancestors, I'm trying to blaze a new trail.

[Peter Sagal]

That shoulder rotation is so important to this.

[Heather Gay]

And then I think season two was. I was raised Mormon, but now I'm raising I a glass of champagne.

[Peter Sagal]

That's good.

[Heather Gay]

Yeah. I've had a couple. I've had six now. No. Yeah, six.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow. Do you workshop them? Do you try them?

[Heather Gay]

No, they're assigned.

[Peter Sagal]

No, no.

[Heather Gay]

You're allowed to contribute ideas, but they shut those down immediately.

[Peter Sagal]

Wait a minute. My world has been rocked. Somebody wrote that for you?

[Heather Gay]

Well, I had alluded so much to my pioneer ancestry that it kind of wrote itself in a weird way. But yeah, like they, you know, and you can kind of like they'll give you three or four to keep you guessing. And you can kind of try to mess up the ones that you know you don't like that don't represent you fully.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Do you remember any of the bad ones? The ones you tried to kind of fumble?

[Heather Gay]

Well, they're usually picked. I remember. Like, I may be a bad Mormon, but I'm always a good time. And I think I said that in a funny way. And they used the funny way, which made it invariably worse.

[Peter Sagal]

Heather, huge fan. So glad you're here.

[Heather Gay]

Love you.

[Peter Sagal]

I cannot believe that my worlds are quieting like this. Would you indulge me? Could I workshop a tagline?

[Heather Gay]

Anything, please.

[Chris Perfetti]

I don't. Wait, wait.

[Peter Sagal]

But I always tell. There you go. Love it.

[Heather Gay]

And then I turn.

[Peter Sagal]

It's pretty good.

[Heather Gay]

Very good. That would have been pretty good if.

[Peter Sagal]

The world could have seen. Shane, you're smoldering glass.

[Nagin Farsad]

Thank you.

[Pedro Pascal]

That would have been awesome.

[Peter Sagal]

And I am willing to relocate to Salt Lake City. You have a new book called Good Time Girl.

[Heather Gay]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

And this book is sort of a recounting of your various exploits. Presumably, once you left the LDS Church. Can you give everybody sort of a taste, a sample of the stories you tell. Your new book, Good Time Girl.

[Heather Gay]

My senior trip to Tijuana, where I discovered that I might be more of a good time girl than I anticipated. As one does in Tijuana.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, it's right there in the name.

[Heather Gay]

Yeah. And I thought I was having the most worldly foreign experience of my life.

[Peter Sagal]

Tijuana.

[Heather Gay]

Right. But then I later went on a mission for my church in the south of France, which ended up being even more of an adventure.

[Peter Sagal]

It's amazing. I didn't realize that you had gone on an LDS mission to the south of France. If only the church had not sent you to a place with wine.

[Heather Gay]

Yes, the land of love. And I was preaching celibacy.

[Peter Sagal]

And how'd that go?

[Heather Gay]

Sober living? Not so great. Not so great. Not so receptive. The mission was actually closed down.

[Peter Sagal]

When in Provence.

[Heather Gay]

Yeah. Don't be Mormon. That's what they say.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, Heather gets. We could talk to you all day, I think. But we have asked you to play a game we're calling Good Time Girl. Meet good Crime Girl. As you know, some women aren't as virtuous as you, and they cross the bright red line of the law. So we're going to ask you three questions about female criminals. Answer two correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is Heather Gay playing for?

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

Melissa Snyder of Mill Creek, Utah.

[Peter Sagal]

Ooh, I love Mill Creek.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

There you go.

[Peter Sagal]

Everybody does here. So here's your first question. A woman in Florida took a lift to a gas station, robbed it, and then when tried to get back in the Lyft, the driver refused. So what did the woman then do? A, gave the driver one star and sent a detailed complaint to Lyft. B, returned all the stolen goods, gave up on the robbery, and got back in the car. Or C, just called an Uber instead because they'll do anything.

[Heather Gay]

Well, I'm wondering if the lift had a pink mustache attached to the fender. Oh, yeah, because that could be a factor as an Uber fan. I'm gonna go with C. You're gonna go with Uber? Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

That's what she did.

[Heather Gay]

I'm applauding for myself. We have to do that on Housewives because no one else.

[Peter Sagal]

The Lyft driver called the police, and the police found her waiting for the Uber she had ordered. All right, very good. Here's your next question. A Massachusetts woman convicted of making and possessing cocaine, meth, LSD and other drugs in 2016 got sent to prison, but also, of course, lost her job. What was her job? A, she was the president of dare, the police program to encourage kids not to use drugs. B, the scientist in charge of drug testing for police across the state of Massachusetts. Or C, Harvard law professor.

[Heather Gay]

I'm just gonna, like, zero in on the making of and assume that there is some scientific background for the chemical creation of such a litany of drugs, which I'm completely unfamiliar with.

[Peter Sagal]

Absolutely. Wait a minute. Let me quit. Quickly check the index of your new book.

[Heather Gay]

I'm a Good time Girl, not a great time girl.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, we all know our limits.

[Heather Gay]

So I'm gonna go with B.

[Peter Sagal]

You're gonna go with Bea. That's right. She was in charge of drug testing. She says that she went to work high on cocaine every day for eight years.

[Heather Gay]

Wow, she sounds like a real housewife.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, yeah. All right, you're doing great. Let's go for perfect. One of the most famous lady lawbreakers of all time was mob Barker, whose kids and husband were part of a notorious gang of bank robbers back in the 1930s. But she was also a beloved cultural figure, as evidenced by what? A Barker House Rolls based on her family recipe, which were later changed to Parker House Rolls because of her bad press. B. B, people came out to have picnics while watching her final shootout with the FBI. Or C, while on the run, she got an endorsement deal from Smith and Wesson, which she called, quote, Mama's Little Helper.

[Heather Gay]

I mean, I Believe that Angie Dickinson started a movie called Big Bad mama in the 70s. Was that based on Mama Barker?

[Peter Sagal]

I don't know.

[Heather Gay]

Well, I only could watch it when my parents were at home on HBO in segments. So I'm going to go with Bea.

[Peter Sagal]

You're gonna go with Bea? They came out to watch her have her shootout. That's right. Wow. Yeah. It happened.

[Heather Gay]

Don't challenge me with perfection. I will take it.

[Peter Sagal]

It happened naturally in Florida. And the shootout with the FBI lasted so long that people were like, oh, this will be fun. And they packed a picnic lunch and they came out and they watched the gunfight.

[Heather Gay]

Wow.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Well, I mean, you got it right. And that just goes to show you, kids, please stay up late and sneak and watch hbo.

[Heather Gay]

Yeah, right.

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

You'll be a winner.

[Heather Gay]

It is good to be gleaned from rated R movies.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. There you go. Also, how did Heather Gay do in our quiz?

[Guest Host (Tom Papa)]

She did criminally well.

[Peter Sagal]

3 out of 3. Heather Gay is an author, but of course, one of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Her new book, Good Time Girl, is available now. Please give it up for Heather Gay. Thank you. Thank you so much for being on that.

[Pedro Pascal]

Wake up.

[Peter Sagal]

That's it for us. Our Happy Old Year's Day edition. We'll be back next week with a new show, but first, let me tell you all that. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent Overlord. Philip Ga writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shaina Donald. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Doornbos and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey. Pete. Peter Gwynn is our real house husband. Our visuals host is Emma Choi. Technical direction is Malna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer. That's Ian Chillog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Thanks to everybody you heard on our show this week. That would be all our panelists, our guests, our guest hosts, Tom Papa and Nagin Farsad, of course, Bill Curtis. And thanks all of you for listening. I am Peter Sagal. We'll grudgingly admit it's a new year when we see you next week. This is npr.