WWDTM: Rose Matafeo

Summary

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! – Episode Featuring Rose Matafeo
Release Date: January 18, 2025
Host: Peter Sagal
Guest: Rose Matafeo
Panelists: Maz Jobrani, Helen Hong, Alzo Slade
Location: Studebaker Theater, Fine Arts Building, Downtown Chicago

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Introduction

In the January 18, 2025 episode of NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, host Peter Sagal welcomes listeners to another entertaining installment of the popular news quiz show. With Bill Curtis on assignment, Chieoki Ianson steps in as the announcer, setting the stage for a night filled with humor, wit, and insightful commentary.

Peter Sagal [00:42]: "Bill Curtis is off on assignment for a few weeks and we cannot tell you where he is, but if you notice one of the masked singers has a lot of gravitas, you'll know why."

The panel for the evening includes comedian Maz Jobrani, writer and comedian Helen Hong, and Alzo Slade, an Emmy and Peabody Award-winning journalist.

---

First Contestant: Michelle Kanya

The show kicks off with Michelle Kanya from Knoxville, Tennessee, joining the fun. Michelle, an online athletic trainer and teaching assistant in a blended pre-K classroom, engages in the first round of games hosted by Peter.

Peter Sagal [01:51]: "Michelle, welcome to the show."

---

Quotations Game

Michelle participates in the "Quotations" segment, where she must identify or explain quotes from this week's news. Success rewards her with a voicemail message of her choice.

First Quote:

Chioki Ianson [02:25]: "Our song YMCA is a global anthem that hopefully helps bring the country together."
Source: Victor Willis, lead singer of the Village People.

The panel humorously debates the true meaning behind "YMCA," with Peter highlighting President Trump's affinity for the song.

Peter Sagal [03:43]: "He loves the song about nachos."
Alzo Slade [04:03]: "They sued him the first time around."

Second Quote:

Chioki Ianson [05:45]: "When you lock things up, you don't sell as many of them."
Source: CEO of Walgreens.

The panelists joke about Walgreens' decision to unlock merchandise to boost sales, playfully suggesting it might help customers smell better.

Maz Jobrani [06:07]: "They're all the same."

Third Quote:

Chioki Ianson [08:11]: "I've seen a quarterback eating a hot dog, but I've never seen anyone do that."
Source: Tom Brady, Fox Sports announcer.

This was in reference to A.J. Brown seen reading a self-help book on the sidelines, leading to humorous speculation about NFL players' off-field activities.

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Panel Discussion

Throughout the game, the panelists engage in light-hearted banter, discussing everything from military readiness lyrics to the practicality of unlocked store merchandise.

Helen Hong [03:48]: "Do the gays know that the Village People are not a gay iconic group?"

Alzo Slade [04:05]: "They ran out of money. Yeah, the check is talking."

---

Second Contestant: Olivia from Washington

Olivia steps up to play the "True or False" game, focusing on unusual expressions of love. She navigates through stories about couples inventing languages and those embedding magnets in their skin to stay connected.

First Story: Helen Hong narrates a couple who created their own language to celebrate love, leading to humorous scenarios on Star Trek.

Helen Hong [15:20]: "Their language, in fact, is so complex and realistic that they were cast as aliens in the latest Star Trek show."

Second Story: Maz Jobrani describes a couple who had magnets implanted to stick together when holding hands.

Maz Jobrani [16:36]: "Sadie Rendu and her fiance Hannah Hansman wanted to get, quote, closer and express their love."

Third Story: Alzo Slade shares about a sustainable couple sharing toothbrushes and bathwater, showcasing extreme commitment to eco-friendly living.

Alzo Slade [17:48]: "Ruby loves when David leaves his used dental floss on the bathroom counter."

Olivia correctly identifies Maz Jobrani's story as the true one, earning a prize for her participation.

---

Guest Appearance: Rose Matafeo

The highlight of the episode is the arrival of Rose Matafeo, a celebrated comedian from New Zealand. Rose discusses her journey in comedy, starting at age 15, and her new special on Max titled On and On and On.

Rose Matafeo [21:08]: "I started when I was 15, so it was kind of child labor vibes."

Rose humorously recounts wearing a University of Minnesota shirt in her UK-taped special, emphasizing the small-knit community of New Zealand's comedy scene.

Rose Matafeo [24:13]: "I have accidentally worn University Minnesota shirt that I found in the middle of Malmo in Sweden in a secondhand shop."

---

Couple Game: On and Off Again Relationships

Rose joins Michelle Kanya in a game centered around famous couples with tumultuous relationships. They tackle historical anecdotes, such as Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton's on-again, off-again romance.

First Question: Why did Elizabeth Taylor break off her engagement to another man?

• Answer: A) They were traveling in Asia and he wouldn't let her buy an elephant to bring home.

Peter Sagal [27:52]: "It was the elephant."

Second Question: How did Ryan O'Neill and Farrah Fawcett's relationship begin?

• Answer: C) When Fawcett's husband, Lee Majors, was away filming and asked O'Neill to just be a pal and check in on her.

Third Question: To whom was Glenn Wolf's 31st marriage?

• Answer: B) The person who held the woman's record for most marriages in a lifetime.

Rose answers two out of three correctly, securing a victory for contestant Stephen Ward.

---

Contestant: Lucy from Pittsburgh

Lucy takes on the "Limerick Challenge," where she must fill in missing words from limericks based on recent news events.

First Limerick:

"I've got hips that would make any doula whoop and a waistline. So fine, you'll need a jeweler's loop. So I'm great at a sport that needs no gyms or courts. See, my body is perfect for hoops."

Answer: Hula hoop

Second Limerick:

"In most arcade machines, there's this flaw. A stuffed bear is the best you will draw. But here, you might snag a sweet Hermes bag. Grab some luxury treats with our claw."

Answer: Claw

Third Limerick:

"In a field that they don't know so well, science winners go wild and go tell they see glowing raccoons and hear ghosts by full moon. Their brains rot once they win the Nobel."

Answer: Nobelitis

Lucy impressively fills in all three gaps correctly, earning accolades from the panel.

---

Lightning Fill in the Blank

The episode culminates with the "Lightning Fill in the Blank" game, where panelists race against the clock to complete as many sentences as possible.

Examples of Blanks Filled:

• "On Thursday, Benjamin Netanyahu delayed a vote to approve the ceasefire in Gaza." [44:38]
• "Following an encouraging report on inflation, the Dow Jones surged 700, 103 points this week." [44:46]
• "Sony announced that soon the PlayStation console won't just have great graphics and sound. Players will also experience smell." [35:22]
• "After a woman in Australia attempted to burn down a restaurant, she had to flee the scene because she lit her own pants on fire." [45:25]

Helen Hong leads with six correct answers, followed by Maz Jobrani securing the championship with a total of 15 points.

---

Conclusion and Winner Announcement

Peter Sagal wraps up the episode by congratulating Maz Jobrani on his victory and thanking Rose Matafeo for her delightful participation. The show concludes with panelists sharing their predictions for unusual activities NFL players might engage in on the sidelines, maintaining the episode's humorous and engaging tone.

Maz Jobrani [50:24]: "They're going to be playing Wordle on those little tablets that they’re supposed to be reviewing plays on."

Helen Hong [50:15]: "Hating."

The episode underscores the blend of humor, current events, and interactive games that make Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! a beloved staple in NPR's lineup.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Peter Sagal [00:42]: "Bill Curtis is off on assignment for a few weeks and we cannot tell you where he is..."

• Helen Hong [15:20]: "Their language... is so complex and realistic that they were cast as aliens in the latest Star Trek show."

• Maz Jobrani [16:36]: "Sadie Rendu and her fiance Hannah Hansman wanted to get, quote, closer..."

• Rose Matafeo [21:08]: "I started when I was 15, so it was kind of child labor vibes."

• Peter Sagal [35:22]: "Sony says that the technology, when it is introduced, will engage scent to fully immerse you into the world of the story."

---

This episode of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! masterfully intertwines humor with current events, guest insights, and interactive listener participation, ensuring a memorable experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Capella University]

This message comes from Capella University. With Capella's flexpath learning format, you can set your own deadlines and learn on your schedule. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn [e-mail].

[Chioki Ianson]

From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. Filling in for Bill Curtis, I'm the voice silkier than Peter Sager, nightgown Chieoki Ianson. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Chiaoki. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. So Bill Curtis is off on assignment for a few weeks and we cannot tell you where he is, but if you notice one of the masked singers has a lot of gravitas, you'll know why. Meanwhile, we are delighted. We've got Shoki A. Jensen back to keep on keeping score. Later on, we've got comedian Rose Mattifeo joining us. But right now it's your turn. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant this week. Hi, Jerome. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, my name is Michelle Kanya from Knoxville, Tennessee. Hey, how are things in Knoxville these days? Colder than we like it. Full of snow. Oh, too bad. He said from Chicago. I'm so sorry. What do you do there? I'm an online athletic trainer and I work as a teaching assistant in a blended pre K classroom. Well, that's really cool. Well, Michelle, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the comedian you can see at the Miami Improv from January 24th through the 26th. For all dates, go over to mazjobrani.com. that's right, it's Maz Jobrani.

[Maz Jobrani]

Hi, how are you, Michelle?

[Peter Sagal]

Next up, she's a comedian who will be at the Walton Arts center in Fayetteville, Arkansas on January 30th and who hosts the trivia podcast Go Fact yourself. It's now on La Est in Southern California. It's Helen Hong. Hi.

[Helen Hong]

Hi, Michelle. Hi, everybody.

[Peter Sagal]

Helen. And he's an Emmy and Peabody Award winning journalist and comedian and host of the new Nat Geo show, what X does to your Body. It's Alzo Slade.

[Alzo Slade]

What's up, Michelle? How you doing?

[Peter Sagal]

Doing good.

[Michelle Kanya]

How are you?

[Alzo Slade]

So far, so good.

[Peter Sagal]

So, Michelle, welcome to the show. You're going to play who's Chaoke this time Chokey, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our big prize. Any voice from our show you might like for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I hope so. Okay, your first quote is from Victor Willis, who is the lead singer of the group the Village People.

[Chioki Ianson]

Our song YMCA is a global anthem that hopefully helps bring the country together.

[Peter Sagal]

The Village People will undoubtedly bring the country together next week with their performance at what event on Monday? The inauguration. Yes, the inauguration of our next president. The Village People will be one of many entertainers who have been lucky enough to be chosen to play at Monday's inauguration, performing a very favorite song of President Elect, by the way, Mr. Wallace also insists that the song YMCA is not, in fact, a gay anthem. Also, he says their hit in the nav about military readiness and Macho man is just about a guy who likes nachos. But there was a typo.

[Helen Hong]

Do the gays know that the Village People are not a gay iconic group?

[Alzo Slade]

I don't think so.

[Helen Hong]

I don't think so.

[Peter Sagal]

I think so. Yeah. It hasn't got. I'm sorry. If you are gay and listening. I'm sorry. We should have warned you that. Yeah, no, as you know, this has been a big. A big song. President Trump loves it. He loves to play it at his rally.

[Helen Hong]

He loves ymca.

[Peter Sagal]

He loves the song about random.

[Alzo Slade]

They sued him the first time around.

[Peter Sagal]

Did they really?

[Alzo Slade]

Yeah, I think the Village People, he was playing and they sent a cease and desist letter. But I guess the check, they ran out of money. Yeah, the check is talking.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Maz Jobrani]

They also said that this is the last living member.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. Mr. Willis, who is the lead singer. What is the last of living member? The rest, of course.

[Helen Hong]

So it's just.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Why?

[Helen Hong]

Of ymch.

[Alzo Slade]

No, it's not. It's the. Why are you doing this?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. I was about to say it actually makes sense, Ellen, that on Monday that the big. The big song would just be why? Why? And we all remember the big story last time, the first time he was inaugurated was Trump insisting falsely that he had the biggest crowd in inauguration history. So, you know, his people are trying to make it true this time. So be wary if anybody in the D.C. area gets an invite promising a free vacation in exchange for watching a short presentation.

[Alzo Slade]

I tell you what, a lot of the folks that, you know, the people from Florida, the Floridians that are going there, they're not going to stay long because I don't think they understand how cold it is during inauguration. Yeah, that's the coldest I've ever been when I went to Obama's inauguration ever. And if I could do it all over again, I would.

[Peter Sagal]

Not really. It wasn't worth it.

[Alzo Slade]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

Do you have any advice for the people who will be. And it's supposed to be very cold in Washington on Monday. Do you have any advice for the people who might be attending this?

[Helen Hong]

Do the YMCA dance and that'll warm you up.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly.

[Maz Jobrani]

Don't go.

[Alzo Slade]

Stay your ass home.

[Maz Jobrani]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here is your next quote. It's from the CEO of a big national chain.

[Chioki Ianson]

When you lock things up, you don't sell as many of them.

[Peter Sagal]

So what a revelation. What chain might soon stop putting some of the most common items behind lock and key? Target. No, not Target. It's a chain of drugstores. Cvs. Oh, I'll give it to you the other one. It's Walgreens. You had to fit, right.

[Alzo Slade]

They're all the same.

[Peter Sagal]

They're all the same.

[Maz Jobrani]

Keep going.

[Peter Sagal]

Great news for our listeners with herpes. Walgreens may soon be doing away with their locked cabinets. In recent years, Walgreens and other stores, they've been locking up everything from toiletries to snacks to prevent shoplifting. And we assume, you know, to allow the possibility for meet cutes between employees and desperate customers looking for Tide Pods. But Walgreens CEO admitted finally this week on an earnings call that locking up merchandise. Brace yourself. Leads to fewer sales. Who would have thought that having it announced over the PA in the store that you need the laxative case unlocked would be a deterrent to purchasing it.

[Helen Hong]

Nothing deflates buying a razor than standing in front of the razor case and just hearing customer service to razors, customer service to razor. And then just. I'd be like, you know what? I can be Harry for another week.

[Maz Jobrani]

I get surprised sometimes at the items that are locked up.

[Alzo Slade]

Absolutely.

[Maz Jobrani]

I'm like, why is deodorant locked up? If somebody gets the deodorant, that means they're gonna smell better. They should steal it.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, we should be helping them. We should be giving it away.

[Maz Jobrani]

Let's smell better than this town, you know, forever.

[Alzo Slade]

Like, I'd go to the barbershop and dudes would be coming in selling soap and lotion and socks. And I never understood where they got it from. Now I know.

[Peter Sagal]

Did they suddenly stop when. Yes, they have stopped. And of course, the problem is they come and they unlock the case. That's nice. Thank you. And they don't leave. And it is so nerve wracking trying to decide which toothpaste you might want with the employee just standing there. That's why I've been brushing my teeth for the past month with wood glue.

[Alzo Slade]

Well, you know, as soon as they start unlocking, you're going to see me at barbershops again.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here is your last quote.

[Chioki Ianson]

I've seen a quarterback eating a hot dog, but I've never seen anyone do that.

[Peter Sagal]

That was Fox Sports announcer Tom Brady after cameras caught Eagles wide receiver A.J. brown doing what on the sidelines during a game? Reading a book. Yes, that's right. He was reading a book. The self help book. Inner Excellence is Suddenly the number one seller on Amazon after Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver A.J. brown was seen reading it on the sideline between plays. Coaches knew something was up when Brown said after he put the book down that instead of being a wide receiver, now he wanted to be a wide giver. And this is actually an interesting story. So this book, Inner A Self Help Book was published, was self published by the author in 2020 and it is now instantly the number one best selling book on Amazon. So you know, this inner improvement thing, it works. The author's methods for success, in case you want to follow along, are in essence, give the best of what you have that day, be present and get an NFL player to read your book on live national tv.

[Maz Jobrani]

I haven't seen anybody read a book in a long time.

[Peter Sagal]

Anywhere.

[Maz Jobrani]

Anywhere.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Maz Jobrani]

Much less on the sideline of a game.

[Alzo Slade]

I feel like y'all need new friends.

[Maz Jobrani]

Everyone's on their phones. If he were like scrolling on his phone, I'd be all right. But he brought out a book.

[Alzo Slade]

I'm thinking if I'm on AJ Brown's team and he's supposed to be giving like, you know, the speech to rile us up.

[Peter Sagal]

Yep.

[Alzo Slade]

And he's reading a book before the speech and then he comes in the circle and he says, guys, we have the power within ourselves to go out onto the field and defeat the opponent.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, guys, the playbook was inside us the whole time. Joki, how did Michelle do in our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

Well, Peter, you might want to sign up for Michelle's services, but because she gets results.

[Maz Jobrani]

Nice.

[Peter Sagal]

That's great. Congratulations. Thank you. Take care. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Also, a high ranking Polish general has been fired after a shipment of anti tank mines he was in charge of were found where?

[Alzo Slade]

In his kitchen.

[Peter Sagal]

No, not his kitchen, but at a place that has a lot of model kitchens for you to shop at an ikea? At an Ikea?

[Helen Hong]

No.

[Peter Sagal]

What?

[Helen Hong]

That's awesome.

[Peter Sagal]

So this general who's in charge of like logistics for the Polish army had this shipment of munitions on a train and the soldiers who were unloading the train missed one car which kept going in the train until it arrived at an Ike Kia warehouse where the employees were like okay. And they unloaded it and they were probably like okay. Anti take mines. I guess they go in the outdoor furniture department and it turns out it was a good thing. They sold a lot of them under the name Boomlanding.

[Alzo Slade]

Can you imagine? You know, IKEA has the arrows so you can walk through the whole store and then you get to this part and you say, look how many anti tank mines you can fit in a 250 square foot apartment.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh yeah. Coming up, our panelists fall madly in love in our Bluff the listener game. Call 1 Triple 8 wait wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait, don't tell me from npr. This message comes from Cook Unity. Choose from hundreds of restaurant quality meals prepared by award winning chefs, delivered straight to your door. Just heat and eat Flexible commitment Free subscriptions. Skip deliveries. Pause or cancel anytime subscriptions start as low as $11 per meal. Reset your routine with convenient mouthwatering meals crafted with local ingredients by award winning chefs. Go to cookunity.com wait or enter code wait before checkout for 50% off your first week. This message comes from Grammarly. The work week can be fast paced and it's hard to focus on getting everything done. Let Grammarly be your AI writing partner. It can help you write and quickly edit with suggestions wherever you write. 93% of professionals report that Grammarly helps them get more work done. Get more done with Grammarly. Download Grammarly for [e-mail] podcast that's Grammarly.com podcast.

[Rose Mattifeo]

This message comes from Charles Schwab. When it comes to managing your wealth, Schwab gives you more choices like full service, wealth management and advice when you need it. You can also invest on your own and trade on thinkorswim. Visit schwab.com to learn more.

[Peter Sagal]

Support for this podcast and the following message come from Squarespace. Measure your end to end online performance with powerful website and seller analytics. Get insights, track sales metrics and more. Go to squarespace.com NPR for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Chioki Ianson]

From NPR and WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me. The NPR News quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson filling in for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Helen Hong, Maz Jobrani and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you. Jaoki. Thank everybody. Nice. Nice. Thank everybody. Right now, it is time for the Wait, wait, don't tell me. Bluff the listener game. Call 1-88-8, wait, wait to play our game in the air, or you can check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. Atwaitnpr. Hi. You were on Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Michelle Kanya]

Hi, Peter. Hi, panel, this is Olivia from Washington.

[Peter Sagal]

D.C. hey, Olivia, that's great. What do you do there in was?

[Michelle Kanya]

I work in abortion rights, which is always an exciting time. But when I'm not doing that, I am just kicking it with my cat and playing curling.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm sorry, you said playing curling?

[Michelle Kanya]

I do play curling. Shout out to the Potomac Curling Club in Laurel, Maryland.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, that's great that you're a curler. You must be so excited for the impending invasion of Canada, then. Well, welcome to the show, Olivia. You're gonna play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Chioki, what is Olivia's topic?

[Chioki Ianson]

Have I told you lately that I love you?

[Peter Sagal]

Valentine's Day is only a few weeks away, and we're already seeing proof that true love still exists. In fact, we saw an amazing story about an unusual expression of love in the news this week, and our panelists are each gonna tell you about it. Of course, only one of them is telling you about the real story. Pick that panelist. You will win the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play?

[Michelle Kanya]

So ready.

[Peter Sagal]

First up, let's hear from Helen Hom.

[Helen Hong]

Researchers in England have discovered a new language invented by a couple to celebrate their love and to trash talk others in public. Lisa and Jim Newman have been together for 14 years and in that time have created an entirely new language that only they understand. Early on, I tried to tell her what I loved about her in Klingon, which we both speak fluently. But there was no word for the light that glints off your hair when it's slightly greasy after a day and a half of not showering. So we made one up. Linguists, in fact, cannot believe the complexity of the invented language, which also has an individual word. For a whiff of your musty beard makes me feel like Uhura flirting with Spock in the Man Trap. Episode of the original series. Their language, in fact, is so complex and realistic that they were cast as aliens in the latest Star Trek show, Strange New Worlds, only to later reveal that what they were talking about on camera was how lame that show is compared to Deep Space Nine.

[Peter Sagal]

A couple so deeply in love that they have invented their own language. Completely inscrutable to anybody else. Your next true or false story of true love comes from Maz Jobrani.

[Maz Jobrani]

You've heard the phrase don't get too attached. Well, a couple just did the opposite when they got magnets implanted under their skin. So when they hold hands, the magnets actually pull their skin together and they stick. I know.

[Peter Sagal]

Yuck.

[Maz Jobrani]

Sadie Rendu and her fiance Hannah Hansman, both in their 20s, wanted to get, quote, closer and express their love and voila. Every time they hold hands, the magnets go click. What the hell is wrong with 20 year olds? How much closer can hands get when they hold each other? Did they consider just intertwining their fingers like the rest of us? Rain Du stated the magnets aren't painful to use or to the touch. If anything, you could forget it's there. Really? How about when you go to open the fridge and the outside of your hand gets stuck on the metal door? Or how about when you try to give someone a quarter but it won't disconnect from your hand?

[Peter Sagal]

A couple so much in love that they installed magnets and they hold hands. They are really holding hands. Your last walk down Lovers Lane is from Alzo Slade.

[Alzo Slade]

As people become more self conscious about their role in global warming, having a sustainable household has become increasingly attractive. One couple in Tallahassee, Florida didn't think their love could run any deeper until they made the commitment to sustainability. Ruby and David Summers said it started when David mistook Ruby's toothbrush for his. He felt like he could feel her spirit when he was brushing. They decided to just have one toothbrush. They said since we swapped saliva when we kiss, it's basically the same thing, right? They now share and recycle many items between them that most of us would find strange. Ruby loves when David leaves his used dental floss on the bathroom counter. When she uses it, they not only are being sustainable, but she feels as if they're sharing a meal when she finds a piece of spinach or corn. They also enjoy sharing each other's bath water. There's nothing that says love like sitting in the tub of your partner's floating dirt.

[Peter Sagal]

Nope. So one of these is a real story. Deepest, deepest kind of Love that we saw in the news. Was it from Helen Hong, a couple who have invented their own extraordinarily complex language. From Mazda Bruni, a couple who actually had magnets installed subcutaneously so when they held hands they were truly bonded. Or from Alzo Slade, a couple that decided to take sustainability as far as it could go.

[Michelle Kanya]

You know, I think Maz's story of magnet implants is going to become the hot romance trope of 2025.

[Peter Sagal]

You really. All right, that's your choice. It's Mazda Ronnie's story of the couple that installed magnets in their hands. To bring you the real story, we actually spoke to a reporter who covered it.

[Rose Mattifeo]

They say they can't even feel the.

[Michelle Kanya]

Magnets, but it's become a fun party trick.

[Peter Sagal]

That was Rania Shimona from Fox 2 Detroit reporting on that real couple. Congratulations, Olivia. You got it right. You have earned a point for Maz just for telling the truth. And you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail.

[Michelle Kanya]

Thank you so much.

[Peter Sagal]

Take care. Oh, but it only gets better. If we stick together, we can make it better. We sing together. And now the game we call not my job. Rose Mattuffeo got her start doing stand up comedy in New Zealand as a 15 year old. Since then she's gone on to win best show at the Edinburgh Festival, write and star in her own comedy series, Starstruck, and she has a new comedy special on Max. But most importantly, she, like so many other ambitious people, has found her way to the pinnacle of entertainment jobs. Game show host Rose Mattifeo. Welcome to Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Maz Jobrani]

Hello.

[Michelle Kanya]

Thank you for having me.

[Peter Sagal]

So you are, I think, the first great comic I've talked to out of New Zealand. And you were very successful there before you went to the UK with your show in 2020. Right? You won all these awards and had TV shows and stuff, is that right?

[Michelle Kanya]

Oh, yeah. But as you say, I started when I was 15, so it was kind of child labor vibes. I was thrown into the comedy minds to star stand up as, as a teenager. Yeah, I started quite young. There's not many people in New Zealand, so I think I just, you know, they eventually give you an award if.

[Maz Jobrani]

You can read it long enough.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Is it true, by the way, that like you like everybody in New Zealand knows each other? Cause it's so relatively small. Like we read for example, that the Prime Minister of New Zealand, either before or after she was prime minister, used to like open up your shows for You?

[Michelle Kanya]

Yeah, well, she did Jacinda Aden. She was the Minister of Arts and Culture, so it did make sense that she kind of knew some of us. And she did do a sort of monologue that we did improv comedy based on. So I know it's horrible to make generalizations, and New Zealand is a large place. It's a metropolitan capital of the world, all of that. But it is true that lots of us do know each other.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Michelle Kanya]

And.

[Peter Sagal]

Really cool.

[Michelle Kanya]

I mean, when your prime minister is doing. Yeah. Monologues for you and like a hundred seater, you're like, yeah. That country's quite small, isn't it?

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Maz Jobrani]

Well, Donald Trump is the opening act of this show.

[Peter Sagal]

Absolutely.

[Michelle Kanya]

He's got a kill of five men he's coming after.

[Peter Sagal]

I mean, I assume that you eventually went to the uk eventually you relocated there because everybody in New Zealand had already seen you, so there was nobody left to come see your show.

[Michelle Kanya]

You think that's a joke? That's kind of true. My nan would come to my shows all the time to the extent where she would start coming back to shows with heckles for jokes that she had heard before.

[Peter Sagal]

Wait a minute. Harsh.

[Alzo Slade]

Was your grandmother just as funny as you?

[Michelle Kanya]

Nah, she's really not funny at all. She won't be listening to this. No, she's very funny, I think. But, you know, in that way that they aren't. They're not. They don't really know that they're funny. What's very sweet is my. My grandmother is so lovely and sweet that the heckle that she came up with for one of the jokes was. I think I was mocking her for the way she pronounces. For some reason, a certain generation pronounces musely as moosely. And. And I was, you know, really ripping into her for that because, you know, my comedy is cutting edge.

[Alzo Slade]

You started it.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah.

[Michelle Kanya]

And then she. And then. And she's the kindest person that her hair color was. Well, next time I'll make you something else. Her version had absolutely taken me down. Was just offering me another breakfast option.

[Peter Sagal]

You have a new special. It's on Max. I've watched it. It's called on and on and On. I have a question for you that comes from a very American perspective. It seems that in. Thank you. It seems that in this comedy special, which is very funny and charming and original and different and surprising that you taped in. You are from New Zealand. You taped it in London in front of a British audience, but you seem to be wearing a University of Minnesota Shirt.

[Michelle Kanya]

Don't get me started on this. I have never had. Not many people, like, you know, hey, great to watch the special. You know, usually get those kind of comments. I have never got a public reaction as big as the fact that I have accidentally worn University Minnesota shirt that I found in the middle of Malmo in Sweden in a secondhand shop. And I was like, that's a cool yellow T shirt with my last name initial on it. I'm gonna wear that. I won't be living that down for a while. No Gophers, I guess.

[Peter Sagal]

Golden gophers.

[Alzo Slade]

So what?

[Peter Sagal]

The Golden Gophers.

[Michelle Kanya]

You best believe I. I was straight to the Wikipedia page to see if there had been any massive controversies at the University of Minnesota.

[Alzo Slade]

Yeah, clearly.

[Michelle Kanya]

Am I good?

[Peter Sagal]

You're looking for massive controversies. You've never been to Minnesota, have you?

[Michelle Kanya]

Maybe I could get, like, an honorary doctorate or whatever people get. I've never been offered one of those.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Michelle Kanya]

So maybe the University of Minnesota can step up and offer one of those little hats or something. I just want to wear those little hat. That little hat that. That people tend to wear. I don't know.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. So I want to talk to you about something close to my heart. You are hosting a game show now. The greatest job you could ever have. Taskmaster Junior, which is based on a show Taskmaster, which has a bunch of comedians doing silly tasks for points. Except in your version, instead of comedians, it's kids. Right.

[Michelle Kanya]

I was asked alongside Mike Wozniak to be the taskmaster. Who's the person who gives out the points and sort of judges five children gives up. That's a hard job. I had to really.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, it is.

[Michelle Kanya]

Figure out how to do that. But you're doing with children.

[Helen Hong]

You're ranking little kids.

[Peter Sagal]

Look, I work with. Oh, yeah, yeah. So you're very. The conceit of the show is the taskmaster. That's. You are a very imperious figure sitting in a big chair. You don't smile much, and you are, like, rating these children. You have sent these children out to do these difficult tasks of discovering this or figuring out that or competing in this. And then you have to judge them.

[Michelle Kanya]

Oh, and you know what I'll say? When I did the pilot for the show, I was like, how am I gonna do this? They're just gorgeous children. They're the future, you know, I want to kill their spirits. Young. And after about two episodes of it, I was like, this is easy. This is so easy. I don't.

[Peter Sagal]

I don't care anymore.

[Michelle Kanya]

Those Children are lovely and they're cute, but they fight back.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, Rose Mattifeo, it's a real joy to talk to you, and we have asked you here to play a game that this time we're calling on and off and On. So your special, as we have discussed, is called on and on and On. So we thought we'd ask you about some of those famous couples that have gone on and off and on again. Get two out of three questions right about these tempestuous and flighty people. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Chioki, who is Rose playing for?

[Chioki Ianson]

Stephen Ward of Atlanta, Georgia.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, you get two out of three right here. You win.

[Michelle Kanya]

Let's do it for Steven.

[Peter Sagal]

Let's do it for Stephen. Here's your first question. The most famous on and off again relationship was, of course, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. But Ms. Taylor wasn't just kind of indecisive with him. She once broke off her engagement to another man just because of what? A, they were traveling in Asia and he would not let her buy an elephant to bring home. B, he chewed with his mouth open one time, or C, his habit of saying wee right before they got into bed together.

[Michelle Kanya]

You know what is weird?

[Peter Sagal]

What?

[Michelle Kanya]

I think I know the answer to this question.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Michelle Kanya]

Because I am fascinated by her. I think it is.

[Peter Sagal]

B, here's the funny thing that's not right in this case. In this case, it was the elephant. She said, I'd like to bring this elephant home. And he said, you can't bring it.

[Michelle Kanya]

That's a classic Liz move.

[Peter Sagal]

It really is.

[Michelle Kanya]

That's really gutting that I got that wrong. I feel bad, I feel sick, I feel scared, and I feel. Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Here's your next question. You have two more chances. The most notorious on again, off again couple of the 1980s was Ryan O'Neill and Farrah Fawcett.

[Michelle Kanya]

Tell me about it.

[Peter Sagal]

Now, their relationship even started in a kind of wild way, as their first date happened when A, after she saw him in a store buying that Farrah Fawcett poster and followed him home. B, after the Dodgers 1981 World Series win, they had gone out and were looting a store together, or C, when Fawcett's husband, Lee Majors, was away filming and asked O'Neill to just be a pal and check in on her.

[Michelle Kanya]

Oh, dirty dog. If that's true, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go see.

[Peter Sagal]

And you are right. That's what happened. Classic story. Okay. Yes. Lee said to Ryan, could you go check in on Farrah and Ryan checked in and she was fine. If you get this one right, Rose, you win, okay? And you will be happy with yourself for a fleeting moment. So here we go. The American record holder for most marriages in a lifetime is a man named Glenn Wolf, who was married 31 times.

[Alzo Slade]

Yeah, buddy, sorry.

[Peter Sagal]

Alzo's a fan. Before he died at the age of 88, to whom was his very last his 31st marriage? Was it to A, the very last woman left in his Iowa town that he had not yet married? B, the person who held the woman's record for most marriages in a lifetime, or C, wife number one, because as he said, I've tried all the rest. She was the best.

[Capella University]

Whoa.

[Alzo Slade]

Ooh. Snap, snap, snap.

[Michelle Kanya]

All of these are spicy options, for sure.

[Peter Sagal]

They are. They are.

[Michelle Kanya]

No, I'm actually gonna go with B because I feel actually that Glen Wolf is a PR hound. He's probably doing it for the fame. And he's going, why not? Let's get in the Guinness Book of World Records. Let's get that photo. And I'm gonna die in style.

[Peter Sagal]

You are exactly right. Yeah. Thank goodness that is what he did. He married the woman who had the most, the record for the most number of marriages. And they both did it for the publicity and to, you know, get in the Guinness Book. I don't know how long the marriage lasted. So this is where I turn to Chiochi and I say, Chiocchi, how did Rose Mattefeo do in our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

New Zealand's finest conquered Edinburgh. She conquered Britain, and now she's conquered npr.

[Peter Sagal]

There you go. Clip that out. Clip that out. Absolutely. Rose Matteoffeo is an actor and comedian whose new special on and on and on is charming and funny and surprising. It is now streaming on Max. Rose Mattifeo, thank you so much for being with us and staying up late. Bye bye. In just a minute. Chiocchi spends all his money at the arcade. Stick around to see what he's won in our listener Limerick challenge. Call 1-88- wait wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait wait, don't tell me. From npr.

[Rose Mattifeo]

Support for NPR and the following message come from Mint Mobile. If saving more and spending less is one of your top goals for 2025, switch to Mint Mobile. Maximize your savings with plans starting at $15 a month. When you purchase a 3 month plan, go to mintmobile.com wait. $45 upfront payment required. New customers on first 3 month plan only. Speed slower above 40gb on unlimited plan additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

[Capella University]

This message comes from Capella University. Learning doesn't have to get in the way of life. With Capella's game changing Flex Path learning format, you can set your own deadlines and learn on your own schedule. That means you don't have to put your life on hold to earn your degree. Instead, enjoy learning your way and pursue your educational and career goals without missing a beat. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella. Edu.

[Chioki Ianson]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me the NPR News quiz. I'm Chioki Ayanson filling in for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Helen Hong and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Chiocchi. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute, Chiocchi reveals that he has the heart and soul of a poet in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-89-24. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Alzo the tech millionaire Brian Johnson has become famous for his ambitious plan to live to 150 years old. But he's just learned that one particular drug he was taking to slow the aging process was actually doing what I.

[Alzo Slade]

Feel like any drug to enhance something shrinks something.

[Peter Sagal]

You went right there, didn't you? That's what you think.

[Alzo Slade]

I mean, I'm just, I was thinking shrinking the brain. What were you thinking?

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, the same. I was thinking shrinking the brain. Absolutely. Also. Absolutely. I was. So yes, the brain, I don't know.

[Alzo Slade]

Can you give me a hint, please?

[Peter Sagal]

It's sort of, let me put it this way, it wasn't helping. It was hurting. Right. Meaning it was it's painful. No. If he was taking it to slow the aging process, instead the drug, oh.

[Alzo Slade]

He'S gonna die soon.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. It sped up the aging process. Brian Johnson poured millions into various elaborate and advanced techniques to stop himself from physically aging, including getting blood transfusions from his teenage son, taking a vast array of experimental and off label drugs and pretending he really likes skibidi toilet. But this week, Johnson admitted to his followers that one drug he'd been taking to slow his aging was actually speeding it up. And as soon as he realized something was wrong, he was like, dagnabbit, my Apothecary is hoodwinked.

[Alzo Slade]

How did he notice that it was speeding it up?

[Peter Sagal]

That's a good question.

[Maz Jobrani]

Probably he was watching the commercial and they say side effects may include speeding up your death.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, shrinkage.

[Maz Jobrani]

Shrinkage.

[Alzo Slade]

He just started watching, like daytime television out of the blue, Right.

[Peter Sagal]

All of a sudden, he found himself really interested in that Matlock reboot.

[Maz Jobrani]

Only watching CBS.

[Peter Sagal]

Maz. This week, Sony announced that soon the PlayStation console won't just have great graphics and sound. Players will also experience feelings. No, that will never happen.

[Alzo Slade]

No.

[Maz Jobrani]

Give me a hint.

[Peter Sagal]

I will give you a hint. It makes the rotting flesh of the zombies you're fighting that much more realistic.

[Maz Jobrani]

Smell.

[Peter Sagal]

Smell. Yes. Yes. Amazing. So many discoveries to be made. For example, just as you always suspected, Lara Croft uses natural deodorant. Sony says that the technology, when, when it is introduced, will engage scent to fully immerse you into the world of the story.

[Helen Hong]

No, I don't need that.

[Alzo Slade]

No need that.

[Helen Hong]

That is something that nobody asked for, Sony. Nobody asked for this.

[Maz Jobrani]

How does that work? Does a guy just show up with a spray?

[Peter Sagal]

This may not be like high tech. They might just put a piece of old cheese in the console and then seal it and send it. It kind of works. Yeah. Helen, Apple users are panicking. This week, Apple discovered that the newest iOS update may disable what iPhone function.

[Helen Hong]

Can'T be cameras because that's too essential.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. I'll give you a hint. A lot of people are going to have a new excuse for being late to work.

[Helen Hong]

Oh, the alarm.

[Peter Sagal]

The alarm function. Yeah. Users have been reporting the same glitch in the latest iOS version, where their alarms trigger hours after they've set them, or sometimes not at all. And nothing gets you a good night's sleep than thinking, well, there's a 50, 50 chance my alarm won't go off.

[Alzo Slade]

I mean, that's real. It's like your alarm doesn't go off. That's the universe speaking.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, it is.

[Helen Hong]

I have defaulted to using my iPhone alarm solely and not using any other alarms.

[Peter Sagal]

You know what I mean?

[Helen Hong]

So if it didn't go off, I would not be here right now.

[Alzo Slade]

What other alarms are there? Do people still have clocks next to their bed? Like, you know, the old.

[Maz Jobrani]

Those were great.

[Peter Sagal]

What I need from Apple is their guarantee that if I'm late for something, Tim Cook will personally write a note saying it's his fault.

[Alzo Slade]

I need him to write a million dollar check.

[Maz Jobrani]

Or they can give everybody roosters. That's the solution.

[Peter Sagal]

That's the solution.

[Maz Jobrani]

That's a great solution.

[Peter Sagal]

Up at dawn, you got an Apple phone.

[Maz Jobrani]

You get a rooster.

[Alzo Slade]

Helen has roosters.

[Helen Hong]

So you're awake whether you want to be or not.

[Maz Jobrani]

Well, that's, that's between you and the rooster. You gotta train your rooster.

[Helen Hong]

Your alarm could be for 10:30.

[Maz Jobrani]

10:30. And I heard if you tap the rooster on the head, you get 10 more minutes.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, it's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-88-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-92-4892. You can catch us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago, Illinois. You can also come see us on the road. We'll be in Richmond, Virginia, Chiocchi's hometown, on February 13, and in Orlando, Florida on March 20. For tickets and information for all our live shows, go to nprpresents.org and you can also check out our sister podcast, how to Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian talk with Saturday Night Live's James Austin Johnson about how his Donald Trump impression has changed over the years. Spoiler alert, Trump got sleepier. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Michelle Kanya]

Hi, this is Lucy calling from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, we love Pittsburgh. One of the best places I know of. What do you do there?

[Michelle Kanya]

I'm a surgical tech in the operating room.

[Peter Sagal]

Wait a minute. A surgical tech in the operating room? So what do you actually do in the operating room?

[Michelle Kanya]

So if you've ever seen any medical drama when the surgeon's up at the table and they ask for the scalpel, I'm the person that hands them the scalpel.

[Peter Sagal]

Whoa.

[Maz Jobrani]

That's so cool.

[Peter Sagal]

Do you ever think to yourself when you go into work, like today, I'm gonna mess with him and he's gonna say scalpel and you'll say feather duster, rubber chicken.

[Michelle Kanya]

I'll have to use those next time.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, Lucy, welcome to the show. Chioka Janssen is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

[Chioki Ianson]

I've got hips that would make any doula whoop and a waistline. So fine, you'll need a jeweler's loop. So I'm great at a sport that needs no gyms or courts. See, my body is perfect for hoops.

[Peter Sagal]

Close enough. Well, hold on what kind of hoop? It rhymes with the common phrases doula whoop, Jeweler, jeweler hoop. Hula hoop. Yes. Scientists have discovered the ideal body type for successful hula hooping. Using physics, geometry, and va va voometry, they've determined a curvy waist and hips and a flexible badonkadonk are all you need. These findings were published in the academic journal Maxim magazine.

[Helen Hong]

I'm still stuck on doula whoop, dula.

[Peter Sagal]

Whoop and which is, you know, when would a doula whoop?

[Alzo Slade]

Right when the baby's born.

[Maz Jobrani]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here is your next limerick.

[Chioki Ianson]

In most arcade machines, there's this flaw. A stuffed bear is the best you will draw. But here, you might snag a sweet Hermes bag. Grab some luxury treats with our claw.

[Peter Sagal]

Claw? Yes. Arcades around the country are adding claw machines featuring luxury prizes in order to attract older players. Prizes include designer handbags like Hermes, high end gaming consoles, and a sticky hand toy that doesn't get stuck to your ceiling. One arcade owner In Queens charges $50 a try. What? And says that on average, it takes about four to seven tries to finally get something out of it. It's a great deal. By playing six times, you can win a $150 Nintendo Switch for about 300 bucks.

[Alzo Slade]

I know. I've spent too much money trying to get the thing that pushes the coins off.

[Peter Sagal]

That never works.

[Alzo Slade]

That never works.

[Peter Sagal]

That's a suckers game.

[Alzo Slade]

Yeah, all of them are suckers. Did you just call me a sucker?

[Peter Sagal]

Indirectly, I think I did, yes.

[Alzo Slade]

But I was a sucker, though.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, you went for that sucker.

[Alzo Slade]

But, you know, if you can't win a bear with the claw, what makes you think you're gonna win a Hermes bag?

[Helen Hong]

Faith.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, Faith in yourself. All right, here's your last limerick.

[Chioki Ianson]

In a field that they don't know so well, science winners go wild and go tell they see glowing raccoons and hear ghosts by full moon. Their brains rot once they win the Nobel.

[Peter Sagal]

Right, The Nobel. This week, a science site wrote about Nobel disease or nobelitis. It's an observed phenomenon where scientists who win a Nobel prize suddenly become really dumb. It turns out you would be amazed by the number of Nobel prize winning scientists who accept the award and then say in their speech, and my next area of research is ghosts.

[Alzo Slade]

Isn't it crazy? They do all of this studying and all this hard work to get to the Nobel prize and become dumb. And us, just regular folks, we don't even have to do all that. We get dumb from the beginning.

[Peter Sagal]

We just beat him to it. It's great. We don't know why this happens to the extent that it does. Maybe they make those Nobel medals out of lead. Chucky, how did Lucy do in our.

[Chioki Ianson]

Quiz is it's well known that the listener Limerick challenge is the only thing more difficult than surgery. And Lucy handled it. She got all three right.

[Peter Sagal]

Well done, Lucy.

[Michelle Kanya]

Thank you so much.

[Peter Sagal]

Thanks for playing.

[Rose Mattifeo]

This message comes from BetterHelp. Every January brings you 365 blank pages waiting to be filled. What do you want your 2025 story to be? Therapy can help you craft the next chapters with purpose. BetterHelp offers therapy 100% online with a diverse network of over 30,000 therapists worldwide. Visit BetterHelp h e l p.com NPR today to get 10% off your first month. This message comes from Spectrum Business. Small business owners put in unlimited hours, unlimited effort and unlimited passion. Why? Because only you know that your business has unlimited potential. That's why Spectrum Business provides fast, reliable Internet, advanced WI fi with security shield and an unlimited mobile line, all for one low price. Built to work for a small business budget. Connect your business to unlimited possibilities. Learn [e-mail] business now on to our final game.

[Peter Sagal]

Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth 2 points. Jochi, can you give us the scores?

[Chioki Ianson]

Alzo and Maz have three points. Helen's got two points.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, so that means the pressure. The pressure. Helen, you're going to be up first because you're in second place. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Benjamin Netanyahu delayed a vote to approve the ceasefire in Blank, Gaza. Right. On Monday, two Russian cities were hit with a drone strike. From Blank, Ukraine. Right. Following an encouraging report on inflation, the blank surged 700, 103 points this week.

[Helen Hong]

Dow Jones.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Monday, SpaceX launched two missions to the Blank.

[Helen Hong]

The moon.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. After an Alabama District court judge deemed two opposing lawyers to be acting unprofessionally to one another, he filed an official order requiring them to Blank mud wrestle. Requiring them to have lunch together. That's not fun. On Thursday, it was announced that podcaster and former late night host Blank would receive the Mark Twain Prize for comedy.

[Helen Hong]

Oh, David letterman.

[Peter Sagal]

No. Conan O'Brien. Best known for Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive and Twin Peaks, legendary director Blank passed away at the age of 78.

[Helen Hong]

David Lynch.

[Capella University]

Right.

[Peter Sagal]

This week, a man in Australia who attempted to burn down a restaurant, had to flee the scene because he blanked.

[Helen Hong]

Burned his clothes.

[Peter Sagal]

No, because he. Well, no. Right, you're right. I'm sorry, what? He lit his own pants on fire. Well done. Wow. Totally guessed that one. Yeah, good one. The security. Security footage shows the man dousing the restaurant in some flammable liquid, lighting a match, and then being quite shocked when the only thing that caught on fire were his own pants. So, important note for arsonists, when you bring your gas to the crime scene, do not carry it in your pockets. Giocchi, how did Helen do in our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

Helen got six right for 12 more points. She now has 14 points and the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, let's arbitrarily pick. Fill in the blank. Also on Wednesday, Blank delivered his farewell address to the nation.

[Alzo Slade]

Biden.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Weeks after being impeached for declaring martial law in his country, the president of Blank was arrested on Monday.

[Alzo Slade]

Korea.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Thanks to an incoming Arctic blast, the US will face its Blankest temperatures in over a year.

[Alzo Slade]

Warmest. Oh, coldest.

[Peter Sagal]

Right, yes.

[Alzo Slade]

Arctic is the key.

[Peter Sagal]

Arctic would be the key. This week, officials in the UK said that residents should not be concerned about the loud bang and giant. Giant mushroom cloud of smoke emanating from the local.

[Alzo Slade]

Blank explosion.

[Peter Sagal]

No, emanating from the local nuclear plant. On Monday, Starbucks announced they were reversing a policy that let anyone use their Blank without making a purchase.

[Alzo Slade]

Bathroom.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, a woman in Russia walking to her gate at the airport stepped onto a moving walkway and discovered Blank.

[Alzo Slade]

It was not moving.

[Peter Sagal]

No, that it was actually the baggage conveyor belt. A woman was seen on closer circuit TV footage stepping under the conveyor belt and getting pulled through the small doorway into bag processing. Thankfully, she's fine and says the worst part was actually all the other people who lined up to get sucked into the baggage carousel, even though their group hadn't even been called yet. Joki, how did Alzo do in our quiz?

[Chioki Ianson]

All right, Alzo got four right for eight more points. A total of 11, which means Helen is still in the lead.

[Alzo Slade]

All right, why are y'all clapping?

[Peter Sagal]

How many then, does Maz Jobrani need to win? Choki.

[Chioki Ianson]

Maz needs six points. All right, you got this, Maz.

[Peter Sagal]

Here we go, Maz. This is for the game. On Tuesday, confirmation hearings for Blanks Cabinet picks began. Trump's right. On Wednesday, Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass warned that the city was not safe from the danger posed by Blanks fires. Right. This week, the Royal Family reported that Blank was in remission from cancer Kate Middleton. Right. On Tuesday, the House passed a GOP led bill banning some blank athletes from participation participating in their chosen sports.

[Maz Jobrani]

Transgender.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. After charming fans by riding a lime bike to a movie premiere this week, Timothee Chalamet blanked.

[Maz Jobrani]

Fell off the bike.

[Peter Sagal]

No. He was fined $79 for not docking the bike properly.

[Maz Jobrani]

Hilarious.

[Peter Sagal]

On Tuesday, social media app RedNote jumped to the top of Apple's charts thanks to the potential ban of blank.

[Maz Jobrani]

TikTok.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. According to a new report, 1 in 20 people who caught blank may suffer long term effects.

[Maz Jobrani]

Covid.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. After multiple warnings from the city, a woman in Memphis has a court appearance because she refuses to remove blank from her yard.

[Maz Jobrani]

From Memphis. She refuses to move blank from her yard. That would be barbecue.

[Peter Sagal]

No, the giant 12 foot skeleton.

[Maz Jobrani]

What?

[Peter Sagal]

The woman who had planned to leave the skeleton up and then, you know, she put it up for Halloween and she planned to leave it up all year and decorate it based on whatever holiday was closest. But the city is demanding she take it down, which is a real shame because nothing says Happy Valentine's day than a 12 foot skeleton. Jokey. Did Maz do well enough to win?

[Chioki Ianson]

Oh, snap. Maz got six right for 12 more points. So with a total of 15, your champion is Maz Jobrani.

[Michelle Kanya]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations.

[Maz Jobrani]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Wow.

[Alzo Slade]

I feel like I want to be a hater, but champion is too strong a a word.

[Maz Jobrani]

Let me have this.

[Peter Sagal]

Come on.

[Maz Jobrani]

Let me have this. Come on.

[Peter Sagal]

In just a minute, our panelists will predict what unusual thing will an NFL player next be spotted doing on the sidelines. But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord Philip Ga writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shayna Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grumboss and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Binyom Bazuma and Monica Hickey. And a special welcome this week to our new jolly good fellow, Hannah Anderson. Welcome to hell, Hannah. Peter Guinn can do five sets of 47 push ups every morning. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical directors from Lorna White. Her CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newman. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what's the next surprising thing we'll see on an NFL sideline, Helen.

[Helen Hong]

Hating.

[Maz Jobrani]

Maz Jobrani players testing out mattresses.

[Peter Sagal]

And also Slade.

[Alzo Slade]

They're going to be playing wordle on those little tablets that they supposed to be reviewing plays on.

[Chioki Ianson]

And if any of that happens happens, we'll ask you about it on. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Jerikai Yance. And thanks also to Alzo, Slade, Mozgo, Barney and Helen Hong. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is npr.

[Capella University]

This message is brought to you by NPR sponsor Leesa in collaboration with West Elm. Discover the new natural hybrid mattress expertly crafted from natural latex and certified safe foams, designed with your health and the planet in mind. Visit leesa.com to learn more. This message comes from NPR sponsor Leesa. Good sleep should come naturally. And with the new natural hybrid mattress, it can. A collaboration between Leesa and West Elm, the Natural Hybrid is expertly crafted from natural latex, natural wool and certified safe foams to elevate your sleep sanctuary and support a greener tomorrow. Plus, every purchase helps fuel Lisa's work with shelters and those in need. Visit leesa.com to learn more. That's leesa.com.