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Bill Curtis
From.
Dulce Sloan
NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is. Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. Get out your diaper cream. I am the voice as smooth as a baby's butt. I'm Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal. Dulce Sloan.
It's a me. Thank you. Thank you, Bill. And thanks, everybody. We have a great show for you today. Now, I know some of y'all are wondering, how did she get this job filling in for Peter Sagal? I mean, well, who knew that a man who runs so much couldn't beat me in a leg wrestling match? Later on, we'll be talking to sports power couples Sue Byrd and Megan Rapinoe about their new podcast, A Touch More. But first, it's your turn to touch us more. I'm single by giving us a call. The number is 888-wait-wait. That's 888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, my name is Katie Peele and I'm calling from Denver, Colorado. Now, what do you do when this here Denver, Colorado, up there in the mountains where you can't breathe? Well, I am a recently resigned public school teacher and I manage a small coffee shop in a farm to table restaurants. Ooh. Okay.
Helen Hong
That's very Colorado, very npr.
Dulce Sloan
Well, Katie. Hey, girl. Hey. Let me introduce you to our panel. First, as a comedian performing soon in Sunnyvale, California, and Eerie, Pennsylvania, and host of the trivia podcast Go Fact Yourself, airing now on LAS Public Radio, it's Helen Hall. Hello. Hi, Katie. Hi, everybody. Next, a comedian will be part of Kyle Kanane's Kanaansgiving show on November 27th at the Talia hall in Chicag. Adam Burt.
Alonzo Bowden
Hello, Katie.
Dulce Sloan
And the comedian will be at Helium Comedy club in Philadelphia November 9th through the 11th. It's Alonzo Bode. Hello, Katie. Hey. Hey, girl. Welcome to the show, Katie. Now you're going to play who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you choose on your voicemail. You ready? Yep. Okay. Here's your first quote.
All the single ladies. All the single ladies. All the single ladies. All the single ladies.
That was somebody adding her name to the many celebrities endorsing Kamala Harris this week.
Who was it?
Beyonce. Beyonce. With less than 2 weeks til election day, the celebrity endorsements are rolling in. Harris has now wrapped up Beyonce, Eminem, Taylor Swift, and Bruce Springsteen, while Trump has earned the endorsements of Joe Exotic from Tiger King and a bunch of people on Jeffrey Epstein's flight dossier. And it's not officially an endorsement. You know, Beyonce just appeared at a Kamala Harris rally in Houston yesterday. You know, it was a move that, you know, she said, I support Kamala, but not enough to fly the Pennsylvania. And that is my Beyonce impression.
Adam Burke
I love that.
Helen Hong
I love that. Because they keep saying, oh, it's unofficial. It's unofficial. Like, really? Really? Beyonce is unofficially endorsing. Come on. I think we're a little bit past coy.
Alonzo Bowden
What if she was a big RFK person? What if Beyonce was like, I don't know. There's just something about him?
Bill Curtis
That's the question. Where's the surprise? Is anyone surprised that Beyonce is supporting Kamala Harris? Only people who surprise are the people who still claim to be undecided. Right. Those geniuses who are like, oh, well, if Beyonce's involved, maybe I'll. Maybe I can make a decision. I mean, what. What other endorsement? Who. Let's see. Who else could there be?
Dulce Sloan
Well, we did have a very. According to my notes this week, we also got the October surprise, the endorsement that could change the race. Now, Kamala Harris. This is true. Got the endorsement of. Wait for it. The Insane Clown Posse. Cause, like, you know, things are getting crazy when Shaggy 2 Dope is out here calling for a saner clown posse.
Bill Curtis
All right, all right, Dolce. You backed me into a corner. I, Alonzo Bowden, now officially endorse Kamala Harris.
Dulce Sloan
Thank you.
Bill Curtis
I'm in.
Helen Hong
Alonzo, I'm in. I'm shocked.
Dulce Sloan
I'm in.
Helen Hong
I was at the edge of my.
Dulce Sloan
Seat the entire time.
Alonzo Bowden
I didn't even know you were a juggalo. But didn't Trump got a huge endorsement this week? Trump was endorsed by E. Coli.
Dulce Sloan
Oh, yeah. He was pretending to work at that McDonald's.
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, and five days after he worked at McDonald's, E. Coli was like, well, if you let him in, you kind of let us.
Dulce Sloan
All right, Katie, here's your next question.
Are you sure? Would you like three more months at half price?
Those are questions we may never see again thanks to a New federal ruling making it easier to do what?
Adam Burke
I'm not sure.
Dulce Sloan
Could I have a hint? Okay, I can give you a hint. Like, say you want to stop the gym. Like, you know how Planet Fitness will con you into thinking you gonna come back. This new law will make it easier for you to not have to eat donuts in a gym. Gym members. You know what, Katie? You were close enough. It's cancel subscription. Cancel subscription. The new law is called Click to cancel. It requires that you be able to cancel a subscription the same way you signed up for it. Right. This is the kind of news that is going to have million Americans going, wait, I subscribe to Peacock.
Alonzo Bowden
So this works. So this allows you to cancel the same way you signed up. So do I have to be drunk?
Dulce Sloan
I think that's between you and your God.
Alonzo Bowden
I don't think.
Dulce Sloan
Cause, like, under the rule, like, if you sign up with one click, you have to be able to cancel with one click. So, you know, you just look for, like, a little button on the screen that's like a little puppy that says, but if you cancel, I'll stop.
Bill Curtis
I'm gonna. Now, do you have to subscribe to click to cancel in order to click to cancel? That's gonna be the next thing. Are you subscribed to click to cancel? No. Well, then you can't click to.
Dulce Sloan
I don't know if we've hit that rabbit hole yet.
Alonzo Bowden
Can they just have a button to tell duolingo just to calm the hell down? Like, just like, I'll learn French on my own time. Just stop yelling at me.
Dulce Sloan
All right, Katie, here's your last quote.
For fonder farewells, please use the parking lot.
That is a new sign at an airport in New Zealand. The first in the world to institute a rule limiting what to three minutes or less? Like a goodbye hug? Yes. Citing the delays caused by long goodbyes, an airport in New Zealand is now limiting hugs in the drop off zone to three minutes or less. So get ready to look over from that long hug and see a TSA agent standing there with a stopwatch and a tailor.
Alonzo Bowden
They're gonna regret the specificity of that language, of that word hug. When people are like, well, technically we're having sex. I'm not. My arms aren't anywhere near, which still.
Bill Curtis
You can get done in three minutes.
Alonzo Bowden
If you got a fight.
Bill Curtis
You know, my thing is, and I don't know what, airports. I guess it's different in New Zealand. Any airport I've been to, you can't have your car parked in Front for three minutes.
Dulce Sloan
Yeah.
Bill Curtis
How you stop? And that cop's like, wait a minute. Keep moving, keep moving.
Dulce Sloan
So, I mean, I would love to meet the bitter, lonely, can't get a ride to the airport ass person who came up with this.
Helen Hong
This is from an airport in New Zealand, which I feel like this is so off brand for New Zealand that I'm convinced this is one airport official in New Zealand who just has a really clingy mother who's just like, honey. And he's like, mom, I know, but the rules. And also, you can't feel my left shoulder anymore. I'm sorry, I have to go.
Bill Curtis
Well, it could be the fact that every flight from New Zealand is so long that you gotta say goodbye like, you know, I may never see you again. You're about to board this 19 hour flight to civilization.
Dulce Sloan
Oh, like flying Spirit Airlines. It's like this hug gonna be long. Cause I might not make it out of the bad neighborhood that is this plane.
Helen Hong
A three minute long hug is a really long hug.
Dulce Sloan
No, it's not.
Helen Hong
Yes, it is.
Dulce Sloan
What is wrong with y'all? Three minutes is not a long time.
Helen Hong
We'll say you can microwave two frozen burritos in three minutes.
Dulce Sloan
Do you know how much you can.
Helen Hong
Get done in three minutes? That is an epic hug. Three minutes.
Dulce Sloan
All right, Bill, how did Katie do on our qu.
She's a championship. She got them. All right.
Yay.
Helen Hong
Go, Katie.
Dulce Sloan
Good going, Katie.
Don't worry, Katie. I'll do your voicemail, girl. All right.
Helen Hong
Thank you so much.
Dulce Sloan
Thank you. The clock is ticking.
Kristen
I think we're out of time.
Dulce Sloan
Right now, panel, Time for you to answer some questions from this week's news. All right now, Alonzo, if you work in New York City, a new bill says that you can use a sick day, not just when you're sick, but also when your what is sick?
Bill Curtis
Your dog? Your pet? Yes, absolutely.
Dulce Sloan
When your dog is sick. A New York city councilman is introducing a law that would require. Require employers to let people use sick days if their dog is sick. That makes sense, because you don't want to be the guy in the office who gave everybody heartworms.
Bill Curtis
Well, this is an interesting law in New York because they're New Yorkers. If a New Yorker calls in sick and you say, what's wrong with you? You get, none of your business, I'm sick. And they go on about, you know, their day.
Helen Hong
Do you have to prove, like, do you have to get on a zoom call with your boss and hold up, you know, buddy? And Buddy's just like, and what if.
Alonzo Bowden
It'S one of those breeds that always looks sick?
Helen Hong
Yeah, it's like a Frenchie or something that's just like. And you're like, see, he can't even breathe.
Dulce Sloan
Come on.
Bill Curtis
Also, I don't know about all these anti dog people, but if my dog is sick, I ain't showing up.
Dulce Sloan
I hear.
Alonzo Bowden
I yeah, all right. All right. We're clapping that because that's the most American nonsense I've ever heard.
Dulce Sloan
Like.
Alonzo Bowden
Sick days for dogs and Amazon employees don't get any. Like, if I was an Amazon employee, I would start dressing up like a Shih Tzu just so I could get a couple of days off.
Dulce Sloan
Coming up, our panelists send their greetings in our Bluff the listener game call 1888-wait- wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, wait, don't tell me from NPR.
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Dulce Sloan
And the following message come from Autograph.
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Dulce Sloan
Around the world, each exactly like nothing else.
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Hand selected for their inherent craft, each.
Dulce Sloan
Hotel tells its own unique story through distinctive design and immersive experiences, from medieval falconry to volcanic wine tasting. Autograph Collection is part of the Marriott.
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Bill Curtis
From.
Dulce Sloan
NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Adam Burke, Alonzo Bowden and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal. It's Dulcelone.
Thanks, Phil. Right now it's time for the. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Bluff the listener game, call 1-888-wait-WAIT to play our game on air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. Eight. Wait. Npr. Hi, you're all. Wait, wait, don't tell me.
Adam Burke
Hi, this is Kristen from Pittsburgh.
Dulce Sloan
Pittsburgh. I've been to Pittsburgh. What you doing, Pittsburgh girl?
Adam Burke
I'm a high school teacher and in my spare time I volunteer at a.
Dulce Sloan
Cat rescue called Pittsburgh Cats. Yeah, right. Thank you for helping the kitty cat snow. So nice to have you, Kristen. Now you're gonna play our game, in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic? Bill?
Greeting cards in the news.
Ooh, greeting cards. The perfect way to tell someone you do care about them, but not enough to send an actual gift. Our panelists are gonna tell you about an incident involving a greeting card that made the news this week. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play, Kristen? I am ready. Ay. First up, it's Helen Hong.
Helen Hong
Getting laid off is never fun, but getting laid off and not even getting a goodbye card from your co workers, well, that's just criminal. That's what a woman claimed in court when she sued British Airlines for not giving her a farewell card when she left the company. The cardless woman, who happened to be named Karen, was so offended that she took legal action. Cardless Karen and the obviously not great lawyer who took on her case had a rude awakening in court when a former colleague testified that they did buy a card, but they didn't give it to her because only three people signed it. Awkward. Undaunted, cardless Karen is now preparing lawsuits against a busload of strangers who didn't all say bless you after she sneezed.
Dulce Sloan
A greeting card lawsuit from Helen Hong. Your next noteworthy note card comes from Adam Burke.
Alonzo Bowden
Nothing says you care for someone like a homemade greeting card. And nothing says you really care for them like getting a professional to make it for you. But not everyone can afford their own writers and artists, which is where bespoke greeting card startup Heart Murmurs comes in. The Iowa based company seeks to automate the process by using AI to write and design cards tailored to your loved ones, explains founder Hans Bowman. For our initial testing, we wanted to see what we'd get with zero human intervention. It was here the limitations started to show, with participant Lisa Crowther having to apologize to her 72 year old mother after the latter received a gaudily decorated card that read, roses are red and neither are you. F. Patrick Mahomes, you're 72. As Bowman explains, the AI scrubs your social media to sound more like so if you say a lot of profane things about the chiefs, that might come up. Even more bizarre were some of the attempts at festive missives. With one Ellis Hoskins getting her card reading, happy holidays, Ellis, Santa is coming for you. There is no escape. Ho, ho, ho. Clearly, we've got some work to do, says Bowman.
Dulce Sloan
All right, AI going a little too far from Adam Burke. And your last story of some paper in the paper comes from Alonzo Bowden.
Bill Curtis
When Motor Week magazine writer Peter Seat finally met with the famous Airbags car club in Detroit, it wasn't just their collection of old cards that stood out. It was their collection of greeting cards. What's with all the cards? Well, founding Airbags member Gonzo Raymond isn't just the owner of a 1963 Impala convertible. He's also the owner of some very passionate opinions about e cards. Turns out he hates them. So everyone started sending him cards. Not just birthday and Christmas cards, cards for everything. Did you know April 14th is National Ex Spouse Day? January 21st is Squirrel Appreciation Day. National Left Handers Day is August 13th. They even got him a card for nothing on January 16th because that's National Nothing Day.
Dulce Sloan
Okay, Kristen, you got Helen's story about a woman suing for not getting a Fair World card, only to realize she had one. It was just too pathetic to give to her. Adam's story about an AI Company writing cards that are a little too personal. And from Alonzo Bowden, E Cars turn an old car collector. And to a greeting card collector, which story is the real story?
Adam Burke
Okay, this is pretty tough, but I think I'm going to go with Adam's story, because as a teacher, I encounter a lot of bad AI sometimes from students who are rushed to get an assignment in.
Dulce Sloan
Oh, okay. Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to someone covering the real story. They discovered that the company had a card for Karen, but only two or three people were actually willing to sign it. That was Allison Levins from the Hammer and Nigel show talking about the real story of the card no one wanted to sign. I'm sorry, Kristen, but Helen had the real answer. That's so sweet. I'm sorry you didn't win, but you did earn a point for Adam. Thanks for playing with us. Goodbye. Thank you. Thank you.
Adam Burke
Bye.
Dulce Sloan
And now it's time for a game we call Not My job. Basketball and soccer legends Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe are a true sports power couple with seven Olympic medals, countless championships, and a presidential medal of freedom between them. Oh, where y'all keep all these medals at? They're also the hosts of A Touch More, a show about women's sports that's, given their track record, will probably be the first podcast to win a Nobel prize. Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe, welcome to. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Okay, so since y'all got all these accolades, do you prefer legends or goats? Like, how do you like to be referred to Legend?
Adam Burke
Legend.
Dulce Sloan
Okay, that's classy. So I do have a question about Yalls podcast. It's called A Touch More Correct. Now, I want to know, how did you shift the podcast from like, a tipsy Instagram live to, like, a full podcast?
Adam Burke
Well, we took out the tipsy part of the house, got a couple of Google Docs going, and that's basically it. That's basically it. We're pretty much doing the same things. We have no idea what we're doing.
Kristen
Sam's is really what it is.
Adam Burke
I know. We're like, who gave us these jobs?
Helen Hong
We did.
Dulce Sloan
So, Ms. Sue, who's a dream guest for the podcast.
Adam Burke
Ooh, a dream guest. I mean, we wouldn't mind having Kamala Harris on, so that would be nice. This is Megan praying for President Harris. Yeah.
Helen Hong
Have you called Beyonce? Because she knows her.
Adam Burke
She's got an end. Yeah, yeah, I'll have to. I'll text her when we're done. Hey, Beyonce, we need Ms. Harris's number.
Helen Hong
Thank you.
Dulce Sloan
Okay, now I do have some questions. Since y'all are, like, just like this, you know, super sports power couple. Just the strongest calves of any relationship. I do have a question, since y'all are just these, like, iconic, like, legends of sports. Do you remember watching each other play? Like, before y'all met each other? Did y'all, like, were y'all fans of each other before y'all met Megan?
Adam Burke
Megan says yes. Megan watched me in college. How do we feel about this.
Dulce Sloan
Now? I do wonder, like, are y'all very competitive because you are sports? Like, does it make sense? You know, medals and stuff? A family game night? Is it better if y'all are on the same team or opposing teams?
Adam Burke
Megan won't play games. Y'all, Like, Megan won't play games. It's so frustrating.
Dulce Sloan
Really?
Adam Burke
She won't play cards. She won't play anything. I'll play some cards, but I don't like to be competitive. In life, Even on the field, I was like, wow, so much, girl.
Dulce Sloan
What? You have medals. They gave you a big ass shoe.
Alonzo Bowden
Have you? I always figured the person who won four World Cups wasn't that competitive.
Adam Burke
I mean, we were gonna win, you know?
Dulce Sloan
I like that. So there's seven Olympic medals. There's championships, there's a giant shoe, a medal of freedom. Where do y'all put all these awards? Does your living room just look like a high school lobby like you said? Where do y'all?
Adam Burke
We actually have none of it in the house. None of it. It's all, like, in storage or in a safe or something. We basically. So one year we decided, let's be smart about this and buy a safe. So we bought, like, one of those, you know, small ones, whatever you put in, like, a closet, and then we put it in there. But we never got to the part where you have to, like, drill it into the wall so somebody could just really come and take the safe is really what I'm talking.
Alonzo Bowden
This sounds like the most insane episode of Storage wars in about 10 years.
Bill Curtis
I'm just thinking of all the people you two have beaten for championships and medals and honors, and they're like, they don't even care. I trained my whole life. They don't even care. The medals locked away somewhere.
Alonzo Bowden
I cried when I lost.
Helen Hong
Unsecured safe just floating around somewhere.
Alonzo Bowden
I could have just waited and got a jackhammer.
Adam Burke
Basically.
Dulce Sloan
Yeah.
Helen Hong
Might as well be in a shoebox.
Dulce Sloan
Jeez.
Adam Burke
It was at one point. It was. This is the upgrade.
Dulce Sloan
Wow.
Helen Hong
Are you against just being ostentatious? Do you feel like it's too flashy? It's too gaudy? Like, why don't you have these a little bit? Yeah, really, you are.
Adam Burke
And, like, you're not gonna wear them. They're heavy.
Helen Hong
If I won a giant shoe, I would be wearing that thing around my neck every single day.
Alonzo Bowden
I would like your podcast to start with the sound of you just taking all your medals out. Clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk.
Adam Burke
It's the first 20 minutes of every.
Dulce Sloan
It's actually. Well. All right. Sue and Megan, we've asked you here today to play a game we're calling.
Partners in literal Crime.
So you two are a famous power couple. So we decided to ask you about an infamous power couple. Bonnie and Clyde, who also have seven Olympic medals for bank wines.
Adam Burke
I want to know where they keep theirs.
Dulce Sloan
In their coffins. Cause they dead. Now. Answer two of three questions right, and you'll win a prize for one of our listeners. The voice of anyone from our show on their voicemail. Bill. Who are Sue Byrd and Megan Rapinoe playing for?
Ren Hauptman of Seattle, Washington?
Hey. All right, friends, friends. Here's your first question. Bonnie and Clyde committed crimes across the US In a stolen car before being gunned down by Texas Rangers. A surprising thing happened after their deaths. What? A, the local baseball team decided to change their name from the Texas Bank Robbers to the Texas Rangers. B, their life insurance policy was fully paid out because insurance companies did not yet have an exception for dying while committing a crime spree. Or C, the next year, the site of the shootout became the top location for weddings in all of Texas.
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, I enjoy the whispering.
Dulce Sloan
Why? Okay.
Adam Burke
What would you call it? Megan thinks it's C. Okay.
Helen Hong
Oh, my.
Dulce Sloan
Wow. And Ms. Steuberg, do you agree with your final answer? Do you agree.
Adam Burke
We'Re gonna go B. Join it together?
Dulce Sloan
The answer is B. Their life insurance policy was fully paid.
Adam Burke
You did it, Joe.
Dulce Sloan
Here's your next question. Bonnie and Clyde are two of the most famous criminals of all time. But Frank Hamer, the Texas Ranger who finally caught them, has his own claim to fame. What? He's A, one of the earliest people on record to use the phrase bust a cap. B, he's the Frank that frankfurters are named after. Or C, he hit number one on the chart with a song called I Shot Bonnie and Clyde. He's okay.
Adam Burke
A. A. It's B.
Dulce Sloan
You know what? Actually, yeah, it's A. After the shootout, Hamer said, quote, I hate to bust a cap on a woman. However, if it wouldn't have been her, it would have been us. And gangster rap was changed forever. What a thing to learn. All right. Yeah. Here is your last question. Bonnie and Clyde have a preferred getaway vehicle, the Ford V8 Model B. Apparently, Clyde loved the card so much that he once did. What? A, got a tattoo of one on his arm next to the word zoom. B. Called the editor of the Dallas Morning News insisting the paper refer to them as Bonnie and Clyde and their Ford V8 model. B or C, wrote Henry Ford a letter praising the car, quote, sustained speed and freedom from trouble.
Adam Burke
Sue thinks it's A.
Dulce Sloan
I can read the answers.
Adam Burke
I think it's C. The answer's C.
Dulce Sloan
But sadly for Ford, everyone knows that today the best getaway car is the Nissan Altima. Bill, how did sue and Megan do.
On our quiz, proving they are always winners?
They got the polls. Come on, medals.
Alonzo Bowden
We would send you a trophy, but what would be the point?
Adam Burke
Not worth it.
Dulce Sloan
Going to a storage unit in Silver Lake. Anyway, Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe are legends in their respective sports. New episodes of their podcast A Touch More drop every Wednesday wherever you get your podcast. So, Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. In just a minute, we reveal the underground wedding scene and our listener Limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from mpr.
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Dulce Sloan
Donald Trump's on his way back. Want to know what's happening as the presidential transition is underway? The NPR Politics Podcast has you covered with the latest news and analysis. Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast.
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Helen Hong, Adam Burke and Alonzo Boden. And here again is your host at these two DeBaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Dulce Sloan.
Yay. Big move. In just a minute, Bill has dinner with Busta Rhymes and our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, call us at 1888. Wait, wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel some more questions from the week's news. Adam?
Alonzo Bowden
Yep.
Dulce Sloan
Now you're familiar with Tech Neck, right?
Alonzo Bowden
Nope.
Dulce Sloan
Okay. You're not up on the latest terms. Uh, so technic the Quasimodo look you get after staring at your phone all the time. Okay well, this week, we read about a new way to get rid of it. What is it?
Alonzo Bowden
Throw your phone into the ribbon.
Dulce Sloan
Okay, what about a way to cover it up?
Alonzo Bowden
Oh, cover up tech. Is it like, where, like, wear one of those travel pillows all the time?
Dulce Sloan
You might say, not all heroes.
Alonzo Bowden
Oh, is it. Oh, they're special. Like, tech neck capes.
Dulce Sloan
Yes, they are telling people to wear a cape, cover up your tech neck. If you weren't getting beat up enough. Cause we're all, you know, crumbled over our phones 100 hours a day, giving our neck that fresh off of a, you know, roller coaster accident look. And it's called tech neck. Or as your mother used to call it, stand up straight.
Helen Hong
But now you can look like Supergirl doing it.
Alonzo Bowden
Or like, yeah, the crappiest superhero. It's Instagram stalker man.
Helen Hong
No, I don't understand. I don't understand how the cape covers up the hunchback. Doesn't it just. Doesn't it make you just look like you have a hunchback with a cape on it?
Dulce Sloan
No, that's what the pleats are for, Helen. The pleats.
Bill Curtis
Yeah, well, we also have the increasing intensity of these storms. Now, God forbid you're wearing your cape When a Category 4 blows in, you are gone. What happened to him? Oh, that cape was tied a little too tight. Last seen floating over Indiana. I don't know.
Alonzo Bowden
So, yeah, when you. When your cape gets caught in a revolving door and you get strangled to death, it'd be like, well, at least he doesn't have tech neck.
Dulce Sloan
He has no neck, but he's fine now. Helen.
Helen Hong
Yes.
Dulce Sloan
Companies are trying a new way to capture buyers attention in the store. It's packaging their products.
Helen Hong
How Packaging their products? I think I need a hint.
Dulce Sloan
You thought they were. You thought you were getting MMs, but.
Helen Hong
Surprise, it's paperclip packaging their products in just the completely wrong packaging.
Dulce Sloan
That is right.
Helen Hong
What?
Dulce Sloan
In a trend called chaos packaging, companies are putting perfume. Perfume and cleaner spray bottles. Gin. In motor oil containers. And for when you accidentally drink motor oil thinking it's gin, just look for your first aid kit in a nearby soup can.
Helen Hong
What?
Dulce Sloan
Like, companies are doing this for the same consumers that are eating Tide Pods in the correct packaging?
Helen Hong
Isn't this called fraud?
Dulce Sloan
I would think so, but also, and this is true, there's an ice cream tub of tampons.
Helen Hong
Oh, man.
Dulce Sloan
It's either brilliant marketing or Ben and Jerry's. Worst flavor ever.
Helen Hong
This is definitely somebody at the factory. Quiet quitting. Like, quiet quitting really hard. And Then just being like, ah, you know, just. Just put monorail on. I don't know.
Bill Curtis
Does this work both ways? Can I take a can of peas to Nordstrom and say, I'm returning these designer shoes. I'd like my money back.
Dulce Sloan
Ooh, that's good. Or I can take my ex and return him to his mom and be like, hey, you lied to me. On the outside, he was a good man, but on the inside, he's trash. I want. I brought a receipt. Here, ma'am. Take him back. Coming up, it's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks, including next week, for a fun Halloween show right here at the beautiful Studebaker Theater in Chicago. We'll be back at the Fox Theater in Detroit on the 14th of November. You can also join us in New York City at Carnegie hall in December. For tickets and info, go to MPR presents.org also check out this week's how to Do Everything. Ian and Mike help you optimize your Halloween candy and talk to the Fonz himself about how to be a cool. Hi. You're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me. How is everybody? My name is John Blankenship. And where you from? My family and I live in Franklin, Tennessee, just a few minutes south of Nashville. I have been through Franklin, Tennessee. It is very nice. And what do you do for a living? I work at a small marketing digital marketing agency that one of my best friends started a couple years ago. I don't know what that job does. Welcome to the show, Josh. I don't know what the job does half the time either. It's okay. We're in the same boat. All right, Bill Carter is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you're a winner, baby. Now here is your first limerick on a rail car.
Don't dress like a schlub. Hey. And don't stand in the cheap catered grubs way. Champagne corks will pop as they're calling out stops. Cause our wedding is held on the subway.
Yeah, that's right.
Bill Curtis
Kidman.
Dulce Sloan
In nasty news, there's a growing trend where people are holding weddings and receptions on the subway. It's perfect if Your only guests are breakdancers, a mariachi band, and a tall person coughing directly onto a short person's head.
Helen Hong
Is this in New York City?
Dulce Sloan
Yes, and according to the New York Times, the N train is the most sought after wedding venue this year. And the wedding DJ is some guy watching YouTube without headphones.
Helen Hong
I wouldn't mind going on a morning commute and suddenly being like, yeah, I'll have some cake. Sure, yeah, have some champagne.
Bill Curtis
When the train stops, just randoms jump on the train and like, hey, look, we're at a wedding.
Dulce Sloan
Yeah, you can't hold up the. It's Babylon every time you get on a train car. Anyway, all right, here is your next limerick.
My love for green foods began rock. But I know that they're good for me luckily and that sulfurous smell helps my body feel. Well, now I'll really start eating more broccoli.
Hey, broccoli. Jonathan, the New York Times clearly had some extra time this week because after a thorough investigation, they're reporting that broccoli is healthy. What? I mean, of course it is. Look at it. It's a tiny tree.
Alonzo Bowden
So did they have like a guest editor this week that was just every mother from the 1970s?
Dulce Sloan
Or it's some type of farm to table con job where somebody's like, I got this broccoli you gotta push. Call my brother at the New York Times.
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, big cauliflower. I couldn't afford it because it was.
Dulce Sloan
Too busy being pizza. All right, Jonathan, here's your last limerick.
This resort meal is scenic and cool but I got my eggs wet like a fool. There's chlorine in my drink Drop my fork, now it sinks still I love breakfast served in the pool.
Hey, the fun new way for to be ridiculous is to eat breakfast in the pool. The Washington Post reports that this is popular with influencers and other people trying to convince you to eat wet toast.
Alonzo Bowden
Also with the Washington Post and the New York Times having a competition for the dumbest article.
Bill Curtis
Definitely a slow week on the newsstand.
Dulce Sloan
Phil, how did John do?
John is a perfect player. Thank you, John.
Hey.
Helen Hong
Hey.
Dulce Sloan
Thank you, John, for listening. Thank you so much. It was great to be on with you all. Thank you.
Alonzo Bowden
Thank you.
Bill Curtis
Have a good one, John.
Alonzo Bowden
Take care.
Dulce Sloan
Thank you.
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Dulce Sloan
Now on to our final game. Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the skulls?
Hannah and Helen each have three. Alonzo has two.
All right, Alonzo, you're in third place, so you're up first. Fill in the blank. During her CNN town hall on Wednesday, Kamala Harris said she believes that Donald Trump is a. What?
Bill Curtis
Wow. We just gonna leave that open like that? I think it was fascist.
Dulce Sloan
Yes. This week, states reported that over 28 million people had blanked early.
Bill Curtis
Voted yes.
Dulce Sloan
This week, the US announced that ceasefire talks with blank would resume.
Bill Curtis
Israel yes.
Dulce Sloan
On Tuesday, the International Monetary Fund said that global blank rates have continued to fall. Interest inflation rate.
Bill Curtis
Oops.
Dulce Sloan
Is that the same thing? Last week the BBC apologized after their weather app forecasted blank in London.
Bill Curtis
Pennies from heaven.
Dulce Sloan
13,000 mile per hour wind.
Bill Curtis
That was my next guess.
Dulce Sloan
Absolutely. On Thursday, the New York Liberty was honored with a ticker tape parade after winning the blank championship.
Bill Curtis
Wnba.
Helen Hong
Hey.
Dulce Sloan
This week it was revealed that the big secret behind a German restaurant's best selling pizza was that it came with.
Bill Curtis
The side of pizza from Italy.
Alonzo Bowden
I know this one. Do you know this one?
Adam Burke
I know this one, yeah.
Dulce Sloan
Cocaine. So police said that anyone who ordered the number 30, you know, they thought it was weird it would come with like breadsticks to drink and like a bag of cocaine. And weirdly enough, the same thing happened at that Chuck E. Cheese where the animatronic band was really into EDM. Bill had it. Alonzo do four, right.
Eight more points, total of 10 puts him in the lead.
Okay, Adam, you're up next. Fill in the blank. After an E. Coli outbreak linked to the restaurant. Blank said its food is safe to eat.
Alonzo Bowden
McDonald's.
Dulce Sloan
Right. On Thursday, the DA in Los Angeles announced to resentence the Blank brothers, the Menendez. Right. This week, the White House confirmed that North Korea was sending soldiers to aid Blank's war against Ukraine Russia. Right. On Tuesday, it was ruled that Rudy Giuliani must turn over his Manhattan apartment to the Blank workers.
Alonzo Bowden
He defamed election election workers.
Dulce Sloan
Right. Weeks after it was discovered that many zoo pandas were just dogs in disguise, a shark at an aquarium in China was found to be a Blank.
Alonzo Bowden
A panda in disguise.
Dulce Sloan
A Robot. On Tuesday, LeBron James made history by playing in an NBA game with his Blank son. Right. On Wednesday, a Polish radio station announced it had replaced all its journalists with Blank.
Alonzo Bowden
Uh. AI.
Dulce Sloan
Right. This week, it was revealed that a team of hackers successfully overrode robot vacuums around the country and forced them to.
Alonzo Bowden
Blank rise up against their human oppressors.
Dulce Sloan
Ah. Forced them to chase their human oppressors pets around the house. The company that makes the vacuum said not only were the hackers able to remotely control the vacuums to chase pets around, but they were also able to talk through the built speakers. Which raises the question, why does a vacuum need speakers? No one's ever been like, man, I love my vacuum. I just wish it was louder.
Alonzo Bowden
If my. If my Roomba's chasing my cat, can I call in sick in New York?
Dulce Sloan
Yes.
Alonzo Bowden
Okay, good.
Dulce Sloan
Bill, how did Adam do?
He got six rights. 12 more points, and the total is 50. 15 in the lead. Woo.
Okay, so, Bill, how many does Helen need to win?
6 to tithe. 7 to win.
Helen, you ready for the game?
Helen Hong
I'm ready.
Dulce Sloan
Okay, sis. On Wednesday, striking airplane mechanics again rejected a contract offer from Blank Boeing. Ha. Right. On Monday, aid workers warned of dire conditions for refugees trapped in blank Gaza. Right. On Friday, President Biden formally apologized for the government's role in boarding schools that stripped Blank of their culture and language.
Helen Hong
Native Americans.
Dulce Sloan
Right. For the first time, Vice President Kamala Harris said she supported raising the blank.
Helen Hong
To $15 an hour federal minimum wage.
Dulce Sloan
Right. This week, footage revealed a sheriff in Georgia had called in three deputies for backup when he blanked, um, clogged a toilet when he got the wrong order. At Burger King. This week, investigators confirmed that a newly opened fire station in Germany burned down because the fire department forgot Blank pay the water bill. They forgot fire alarms.
Bill Curtis
Because they were eating pizza with cocaine on it.
Dulce Sloan
Now, the firefighters could have saved it. The problem is they're taught to go down the pole. No one's ever taught them how to go back up. Bill, Did Helen do well enough to win?
All right. Eight more points, total of 11 means Adam Burke is the winner this week.
Congratulation, Adam. You are this week's Chompeen. Now. Now, coming up, our panelists predict after the 3 minute long hug, what will be the next surprising rule at the airport. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Hair Care Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent Overlord Philip Gotika writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shayna Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studa Baker Theater. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dorenbots and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Binium Bazuna and Monica Hickey. This week, Peter Gwynn goes by Dulce Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical director is by Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next rule at the airport?
Bill Curtis
ALONZO bowden, the don't you know who I am? People are not allowed to board the airplane because they don't know who they are.
Helen Hong
HELEN hogg, if if you get randomly selected for a pat down inspection, the TSA officer first has to have a staring contest with you for three minutes.
Alonzo Bowden
ANN ADAM Burke, if your plane is a Boeing, your boarding pass will have a handy last will and testament printed on the back.
Dulce Sloan
Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, don't tell me.
Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Adam Burke, Helen Hong and Alonzo Boden. And thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Dulce Sloan and we'll see you next week. This is npr.
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Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Episode Summary: Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe
NPR’s "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" delivers its signature blend of humor, current events, and engaging quizzes. In this episode titled "WWDTM: Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe," host Dulce Sloan steps in for Peter Sagal to guide listeners through a lively show filled with interactive games, witty banter, and insightful conversations with special guests—sports legends Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe.
Dulce Sloan opens the show with her vibrant energy, amusing the audience with playful remarks about her role as a temporary host:
She introduces the panelists—Helen Hong, Adam Burke, and Alonzo Bowden—setting the stage for an entertaining and interactive episode.
Listener Katie Peele from Denver, Colorado, participates in a news quiz challenge. The panelists present her with three news-related quotes, and she must identify or explain two to win a prize.
Katie correctly identifies Beyoncé's unofficial endorsement of Kamala Harris, leading to humorous discussions about celebrity endorsements in politics.
The segment highlights the playful camaraderie among the panelists as they navigate quirky and satirical news snippets.
Kristen from Pittsburgh engages in a game where panelists share three stories about greeting cards in the news—two fictitious and one true. Kristen must discern the genuine story to win.
The real story involved a woman named Karen suing British Airlines for not providing a farewell card, only to discover that a card was indeed sent but lacked sufficient signatures.
Kristen's thoughtful participation underscores the show's interactive nature and the panelists' sharp wit.
Listeners John Blankenship from Franklin, Tennessee, and Josh participate in a limerick game, filling in missing words related to current events.
John correctly fills in the missing word, showcasing his quick thinking and familiarity with the show's humor.
The limerick segment blends poetry with news, adding a creative twist to the quiz format.
In this rapid-fire segment, panelists answer fill-in-the-blank questions based on recent news within 60 seconds. Each correct answer scores points, contributing to the competitive spirit of the show.
His humorous response reflects the lighthearted approach the panel takes toward even the most bizarre news items.
Panelists swiftly navigate through the questions, maintaining the show's brisk pace and engaging listeners with their quick wit.
Sports icons Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe join the panel to discuss their collaborative podcast, "A Touch More." Known for their illustrious careers and numerous accolades, they offer insights into transitioning their podcast from informal Instagram Live sessions to a fully-fledged production.
The conversation delves into the dynamics of being a sports power couple with achievements like seven Olympic medals and a Presidential Medal of Freedom between them.
Their candid discussion about managing their awards with a touch of humor resonates with listeners, highlighting their grounded personalities despite their fame.
Their playful banter underscores the strong partnership they share, both personally and professionally.
Throughout the episode, the panelists engage in humorous debates and commentary on various news topics, enhancing the show's entertaining atmosphere.
The panelists joke about Beyoncé's unofficial endorsement of Kamala Harris, making light of the sometimes ambiguous nature of celebrity political support.
A discussion ensues about a new federal ruling requiring subscription services to offer easy cancellation methods.
The panelists humorously explore the implications of the law, imagining exaggerated scenarios where easy cancellation could lead to unforeseen complications.
A lighthearted take on New Zealand’s new airport rule limiting goodbye hugs to three minutes.
The panelists playfully critique the practicality and cultural fit of such a rule, blending real news with imaginative humor.
As the show wraps up, Dulce Sloan acknowledges the panelists' contributions and teases upcoming segments and episodes.
The episode concludes with gratitude towards the staff and crew, ensuring listeners are left anticipating future episodes filled with more laughs and engaging content.
Engaging Interactivity: The episode's various games foster listener participation, making the audience feel like active contributors to the show's dynamic.
Humorous Commentary on Current Events: Panelists adeptly blend humor with news, providing both entertainment and insightful takes on contemporary issues.
Insight into Celebrity Lives: The guest segment with Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe offers a glimpse into the lives of two sports legends, their collaborative efforts, and their approach to fame and achievements.
Dulce Sloan [00:20]: "Get out your diaper cream. I am the voice as smooth as a baby's butt."
Helen Hong [01:56]: "That's very Colorado, very NPR."
Alonzo Bowden [46:44]: "If my Roomba's chasing my cat, can I call in sick in New York?"
Adam Burke [22:29]: "Megan watched me in college. How do we feel about this."
This episode of "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" exemplifies NPR’s ability to combine sharp wit with current events, all while celebrating notable guests and fostering a sense of community among listeners. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the show, this episode offers plenty of laughs and engaging content to enjoy.