← We Are For Good Podcast - The Podcast for Nonprofits
We Are For Good Podcast - The Podcast for Nonprofits
645. Fundraising That Lasts: 8 Practical Strategies for Retention, Revenue, and Campaigns - Tesha McCord Poe
00:40:52
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- [00:01]
A
Hey friends, you know we love powerful tech that tells a story of what's happening within your mission. But when that tech is incredible and free, we have to shout its buttery goodness from the rooftops. GiveButter is the easiest to use, all in one nonprofit fundraising platform that empowers millions of change makers like you to raise more, pay less and give better. Nonprofits use GiveButter to bring together multiple categories of tools including mobile friendly donation forms, fundraising campaigns, events, auctions, email marketing, a built in CRM, and so much more. And thanks to their 100% transparent tip or fee model, GiveButter's core fundraising features are free no matter how many contacts you have. Head to givebutter.com weareforgood to sign up for your free account today and get started in minutes. Hey, I'm John.
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B
And I'm Becky.
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A
And this is the We Are for Good podcast.
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B
Nonprofits are faced with more challenges to accomplish their missions and the growing pressure to do more, raise more, and be more for the causes that improve our world.
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A
We're here to learn with you from some of the best in the industry, bringing the most innovative ideas, inspirational stories, all to create an impact uprising.
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B
So welcome to the good community. We're non profit professionals, philanthropists, world changers, and rabid fans who are striving to bring a little more goodness into the world.
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A
So let's get started. Hey Becky, you're smiling big.
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B
I'm smiling so big because we have just such a positive life force on the podcast today. I know you may have come because you're here to get some practical fundraising strategies, but you're going to get the added benefit of icing on cake of getting to meet Tesha McCord Poe. She is the CEO and founder of Joy Raising. Tesha's really spent more than a decade leading advancement, fundraising, raising and strategy in independent schools and non profits across the Bay Area, y'. All, she knows what she's doing. She has helped raise over a hundred million dollars and so she served as the chief Development officer for, you know, some organizations you may have heard of, the Boys and Girls Club, the Peninsula. She was the Chief Advancement Officer at the Castilla School and most recently as the interim head of school at the Girls Middle School in Palo Alto. And she's been on multiple boards. She has delivered the most powerful TED Talk which we are going to link up in the show notes for you. And she also co authored a transformative book called Beyond Widow that I would highly recommend to everyone but our community. You know, we surveyed you all you have been asking for more support with everything from donor retention, launching capital campaigns, to even diversifying fundraising streams. So, Tesha is the perfect person to guide us through these challenges and help us reimagine what is possible and actually what's working right now in fundraising today. So, Tesha, welcome to the podcast. We're so excited you're here.
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C
Thank you, Becky. And with that introduction. Let's go. Let's go.
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B
You have had such an incredible just story and career across. Across these independent schools and now, like, through your board, leadership and speaking, like, take us back. Where did the journey begin and what anchored you in all these roles?
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C
Yeah, well, thank you so much. I. I won't take you all the way back, except to say that I won the parent lottery. My parents were both educators, believe that I should have rights to everything that anyone else would, even if that wasn't going to be obvious. And I was quite shy as a. As a child, and I still think of myself as shy, although no one who I say that to believes me anymore. So maybe I've grown out of it, I don't know. But my parents were always. Whatever stage I was on, whatever audience I might have been in front of, they were always there rooting me on. And so that's where I start. The next thing I'll say is that when I got into fundraising, I was terrified of it. I was working as an admissions director at an independent school, and I got a new head of school, and he was changing his structure and said, you know, in addition to admissions, I want you to take on managing communications as well as fundraising. And I said, well, who does all that? He said, I don't know, but you're smart. I'll give you the professional development you need and everything. Questions. And so, you know, there's not one way that any of us get into this work. And my journey has really been reflective of a season of life that I'm in as well. And so I've always just wanted to find my way of making impact, and that has evolved over time. And I've never had the full answer, but I've been looking for it along the way. And so fundraising is a really powerful way to do that because it's not just wishing for something, to have the skills to be able to bring together the resources to make it happen. Like, right now, I'm sitting at a client site, which is a school where they have these ambitious goals to raise a whole bunch of money. So I don't know if you can hear the kids that are in.
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B
I love it so much.
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A
I don't.
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C
Sorry for that, but. But, yeah, I'm now in a portable. The space I'm in, we're trying to make a permanent building. And so, you know, to have the skills to help a community do that is, like, it's. It's so rewarding for me.
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A
I mean, and you call it joy raising, which we're completely obsessed with because you're connecting the dots of, like, the power of this work that we get to be part of. It's not a burden. Like, what a joy to connect people and their story and what matters and, like, bring these things to life. So thank you for bringing us back to that. I mean, we look back, and your bio says you've helped raise more than $100 million. What a staggering figure. What is the through line that you would say, Tesha, of, like, the things that lead to fundraising success? What really matters in hindsight, looking back at that.
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C
Okay, so there are a couple things that I always say. One is, let's ask the question, have we earned the right to make this ask? And whether that's $50 or $5 million, I've done both. Have we earned the right to make the ask? And what that means is, first of all, just because someone has money in their pocket and just because we have need doesn't make that money ours. So. And if we ask them, like, we've done the research to figure out what our ask amount should be, if we ask them tomorrow for that amount that we've arrived at, will they give it? And if not, why? What do we need to do? Sometimes what we need to do is give them more information. Sometimes what we need to do is get to know them better.
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D
Right.
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C
Figure out who should be in the room to ask them, for example. So have we earned the right to make the ask? And then the second thing I always say is, I never ask for money that I don't need with the caveat I can always find a need. Right. Always have a need. So it's not that I'm gonna say, oh, we don't need it. It's just like, we've got to have the discipline to figure out what are asking for. Why have we prioritized what we're asking for? And why should someone else. Yeah, and so that's the through line.
- [07:02]
B
Yeah, that. That's just a very powerful reframe I think of. And it brings me back to the reciprocity of the giving experience, and it also brings me back to those days where people would Say, how can you fundraise? How can you ask people for money? And it was like, well, I believe in this so deeply. That part is just so short and easy, you know, even though it's hard to get over that hump. So we got to talk about the elephant in the room, though, the question that everybody's asking this year, which is just like, how are we fundraising during uncertain times? And so we mentioned that we have recently surveyed our audience, and we're just so excited to have you here because some of the biggest things that lifted out of that survey were that our listeners are really worried about donor retention right now.
- [07:49]
C
Yes.
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B
Can you help our listeners, you know, find some practical things just that organizations could do to keep donors engaged even when the economy and the world feels so shaky right now?
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C
Yeah, a couple of things. One is one of the ways that I got better as a fundraiser is I got better and more active as a donor. So my empathy around what I was asking people to do grew. Also, my understanding of what that experience is grew. And so I would say, if we're not giving more, if we've dropped off on our own giving as fundraisers, then why wouldn't someone else?
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D
Right.
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C
And so people get so much messaging. So, yes, it's around what's happening and how. How wealthy people feel or not. But it's also that we are getting messages constantly in all these different ways.
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Right.
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And AI is only going to increase that because, you know, as fundraisers, we hear AI is going to help you send 20 more, you know, touch points to your donors. And I said that to a group, to a board this weekend. Like, as donors, do you want to get 20 more touch points from me? No, they do not. No, they do not. And so when we think about retention, it's like, well, you know, who do we want to be retained by? I have this privilege of having had a lot of education, which means I have several alma maters. I want to be involved in those communities still. Right. I went to a K12 and I just joined their alumni board and going, you know, this weekend to their. To my first meeting. I can't wait to get in there and see how we're going to, you know, make things better for the kids who are there now and will be there, you know, in years from now. So the retention is around recommitting ourselves to the work of helping people understand why we are their priority.
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D
Right.
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C
And I know that sounds. That might sound, you know, flippant. I don't mean it that way. We are asking People just like when we say we want people to volunteer, they're giving volunteer time. I always say, no, this is leisure time. Because my alternative to volunteering for you could actually be laying on my back sleeping.
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A
That's right. That's powerful. Yeah, it's true.
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C
So if I'm asking you for your leisure time, if I'm asking you for your. We call it discretionary income to invest with us, I need to do that with a lot of thought and care. And the reality is that maybe some of our organizations got really used to the rinse and repeat of who our donors were, the events that we had for them, the why, like, why we don't need to tell them why they've been giving for 10 years. They know what we do. Do they? And is it the same for the past 10 years? I sure hope not. I hope we are evolving. And so I don't have an easy answer for people. I just think that we need to recommit ourselves as donors if we're going to ask other people to do that. And we need to do the work of making sure that we have done our best work to frame our priority should be theirs. And there are going to be some organizations that won't be able to continue. It's. It's unfortunate. And I think that it will also. That retraction will also rebirth new needs. What we saw in Covid, and I talk about this all the time like it is such a transferable framing, which is that when we decided to respond to the issue of COVID fewer kids in Chicago were hungry than they had been before.
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D
Right.
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C
So when there's a will, we find a way. And we don't want it to come through the devastation of a pandemic. But how can we use some of those learnings to make sure that what we're asking people to invest is in really is the best priority of their. Of their resources.
- [11:32]
A
I mean, it connects to me with what you let in with saying is that we should know what we're asking for and know that it matters. Because I think if we just assume everyone can just get into autopilot, they'll stay with us, but we have to stay engaged with the why and the reason and the need and all of those things. So I think such a good point. And there's not a magic bullet. Let's just go ahead and call that out. There's nothing that we can say in this podcast. Fix the retention.
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C
Yeah, that's.
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That's reality. Like, it's going to take work. And I Think it's also going to take trust. And you know we talk about trust. I once looked back in our show notes. You can kind of search the transcripts and it's like we talk about trust all the time because I think so much of our work comes back to trust and we look at across the landscape right now we've got generational shifts, we definitely have a political climate that's completely out of control and so much more. What can we do as orgs and human to human to build trust in these times? What do you think Tesha? Hey friends, here's a bit of real talk. This movement doesn't happen without community and that includes our incredible ecosystem partners, big.
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Their support helps bring you the free tools, education keynotes and summits because they believe like we do, that investing in people is what powers real impact.
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- [13:14]
A
You want to learn more, head over to weareforgood.com Rex that's weareforgood.com recs for VIP access to orgs and amazing humans doing really great work.
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C
I think always staying rooted in the why. Trust is just based on information. Information about the issue, information about me, information about you and I might be telling the truth and you still don't trust me. How much of that about me and how much is that about you? So I can't control you, but I can control me. So being authentic, staying close to the why not, trying to do flashy things to get people to give, but definitely letting them know the impact that they're making.
- [14:04]
B
That builds trust for those leaders that are hesitant to put themselves out there or maybe they just don't want to be too salesy. What kind of advice can you give them? You know they're struggling to meet their goals, they're feeling a little lost. We don't know what's going to come down in a new executive order ground us on why. We need to step out into that light and really speak about our why authentically.
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C
I think that one thing we need to name is that our boards have an opportunity to be more supportive of our leaders and so there shouldn't be a Leader who is worried about putting themselves out there and feeling like they need to figure that out on their own, trying out their ideas with board members, figuring out will the board members be willing to go with them to present or to solicit to reinforce that it's not just them that believes this is the. This is what they should be doing, but there are other. Their peers that can be a part of that. But if we're talking also about, you know, is this appropriate as a time to ask. Well, of course there's research that we can do our diligence to do, you know, do the work to find out is this the right match between our needs and the alignment of this potential donor, for example. But also, we have to give ourselves grace. I mean, I've been in solicitation meetings where we ask for, you know, a gift, and they say, well, you know, unfortunately last month we lost our job and so we're not going to be able to commit right now. Well, there's your opportunity to actually show up and affirm and support someone who is. Is experienced something that they didn't expect to experience.
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Right.
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And so the point is, it's not just about the dollar amount. Obviously, the gifts are always going to. The monetary gifts are always going to be important. We need them to. To execute our mission. But relationships are really important. I've had beautiful relationships with donors where most of the relationship, you know, has a certain rhythm to it. And then you have these inflection points of life happening and, and it shifts things a little bit and it deepens it. And so I would say for those people who are feeling like, I'm not sure that it's appropriate now for me to make the request that I'm doing or I don't even know where to start because it feels like the world is so up in the air and it feels overwhelming because the, you know, the needs are so great. I would just say keep talking, keep asking, stay curious, and keep rooting yourself in. Why? Why would you put yourself out there? The other thing is that, you know, I host a conference that is for development directors, and I say to them, you know, we behave as if what our goal is, that we get to a place where we're so good that we send out one letter with an ask amount, and that comes back immediately before, you know, it can either even it dry, comes back immediately at the ask amount, and then we can put a. Tie a bow on and be done with our. With our efforts for the year. If that was the way the gig worked. You all would not be the people doing this work.
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Exactly.
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You like the challenge, you like the strategy. And by the way, you'd just be given a bigger goal. Like, that's what, that's what our organizations do. If it came back too fast.
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Right.
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They'd say, oh, there's more you could get. So let's not behave as if that's our goal. The struggle is part of the challenge, the struggle is part of the reward.
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Yeah. And it's humans. It's messy. You know, it's not on our timeframe. It's on our individuals, the people we're working with on all sides. So such good counsel. I know. It's so symbolic that you're sitting in this, like, temporary building with a vision behind you of this school building that wants to be built. And I think a lot of our listeners may be considering launching a capital campaign. You're clearly guiding and advising folks on this. Where does someone start if they're looking at a capital campaign over the next few years? What's some good groundwork? What's step zero, if you will?
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C
Yeah, yeah. Well, again, going to that point of have earned the right to make this ask, that's one thing to think about. Often a campaign will come out of a strategic planning initiative. So what has surfaced as priorities for us to look at as we move forward? And what are the resources that we need to do that to accomplish that? So for, you know, this organization, it's really around outgrowing certain spaces and needing classrooms that are, you know, equipped to do this next century work that we're doing. And so it feels obvious. The hard part is how expensive it is to do it. So another part of a campaign is do we have the constituency to support our ambitious goal and you can get creative about, well, maybe we don't have the capacity within our, within our ranks, but, you know, are there nuanced ways of financing what we want to do or do we have to scale down our ambitions about what we do? So it's. If that's useful information, you've got to have a board that's ready to take this on. You've got to have a chief executive who is willing to spend half their time doing this, you know, doing a campaign. And so that means that the rest of the leadership, that that layer beneath them needs to be ready to step up, to take on added responsibilities as that focus turns away. You have to talk about trust. You have to have trust.
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D
Right.
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If I'm asking you to step up and make an investment at a higher level than you would typically do. You need to trust that what I say I'm going to do, I'm going to do. And then patience, flexibility, collaboration, it is a huge undertaking. But I say this all the time. I did not get the memo that said because something's hard, we don't do it. I got the memo that said if it's not hard, don't make it hard unnecessarily. But if it is hard and it's worth it, let's go, let's do the work, let's get it done. Because what'll happen as a result is worth it.
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D
Right.
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So being planned and organized and investing in, you know, and support, whether it's a new employee or counsel to step alongside you along the way, all of those things are important. But at the end of the day, it needs to be super compelling. You need to be organized and you need to believe it, believe in it and be willing to take the time to do what it takes to get there.
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B
Yeah, I think that step zero is everything in a campaign. Knowing that why, knowing the story, knowing the potential of the impact. And thank you for bringing up just the bent bench that you need because it's going to take a village to pull off a capital campaign. Especially if you are working in an organization where you have higher ups that just give you the number that you're supposed to raise with no context. I'm just, I'm. That was a funny that I'm just throwing out because John and I actually did work at an organization where they did no research. They were like, this is how much it costs to build this thing. So go find it. And so. Which is always wild. But I want to talk about that bridge that happens from step zero to the point where you really start to socialize the idea with major donors. And I want to be really clear with the audience. This is so much the discovery phase. This is not cultivation. This is, well, maybe a little bit, but you're in the identification phase. How do you approach those first conversations with major donors to just get the campaign off the ground and get buy in?
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C
Yes, I often, it's not just because I'm in California, but often talk about low hanging fruit, you know, the fruit that's ready to be picked. It just takes a little bit of a tug to get there. That's where I would start in part because you're going to get feedback that's going to be helpful to you, that's going to improve your story, improve your why, setting your context of what you're asking for. So starting with people who are already bought into your, you know, your best supporters is going to be helpful. Also starting with those who can make the greatest impact by size of their gift. Sometimes people have an aversion to only, only valuing big gifts. I get that. And it's the big gifts that are really going to make or break whether or not we can pull off or what we can pull off.
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Right.
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And they can inspire others to give their best gift. So ultimately you're looking for everyone's best gift, but you want to go for the low hanging fruit. Go for those that are, that can really move the needle and stay curious, ask questions. Here's what we're thinking. How does that resonate with you? What else are you thinking about? Obviously doing your research.
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D
Right.
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C
So sometimes we see, oh well, they funded a pool across town. That means they've got a pool to fund here with us too. Or it could mean that that pool is something. Funding that pool is something they worked with a financial advisor with to say you are, you have huge gift to give, what do you want it to be? And that pool has been the priority.
- [23:11]
D
Right.
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C
So before we go and ask them to put another pool where we are, we want to understand what's behind their philanthropy as best we can. And sometimes we can do that through wealth screening and, you know, and, and doing our own research. And sometimes we've got to do the really hard work of actually talking to people and asking them. That's why I think that the people who do this work are people who, who are strategic. I'm talking about fundraisers are strategic also. Really enjoy connecting with people. It's really brave work to do. It terrified me when I first started doing it. It truly terrified me. I still would get uncomfortable the night before a seven figure ask. I think you all always have a bit of.
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B
Every time. Even if I knew them well and I knew it down, there's just some. Yes. It's like sending an email to 50,000 people. Yes. It just gets going.
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C
Yes, exactly. So that I think that's healthy. But at the same time, you know, the whole process of it gets easier the more you do it as well.
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A
I mean, it's all about relationships, you know, I think this conversation is so centering. I feel like this is like core curriculum to someone coming into the sector. Because we're getting back to just like the basics here. But I'm curious, like how do you approach a project that doesn't exist? Like it's almost like this idea. It's not physical yet. How do you, what advice do you have when you're trying to get someone to see this vision and find those early believers in it, but the tangible is not there? How do you do that?
- [24:41]
C
Well, it depends on what it is. Sometimes I will suggest that they see a version of this so they have a model of what it could be. So it's like a building that would be similar. It's not here yet, but it's on a different campus, for example, or really focusing on the impact that you're trying to have. So let's say it's, you know, funds that would go towards creating a program that would have outcomes that you haven't realized yet. And so really focusing on what do we want to have happen as a result of this. And sometimes when, when it's not so concrete, that's when you can have donors come in and really help you to form it.
- [25:26]
D
Right?
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C
Because they have ideas, they have life experience that can help inform how you, how you design what you're doing. And you might find out something that you wouldn't know otherwise. And so having this balance of confidence that what you, what you have envisioned could be really, you know, impactful, but openness to feedback about other ways that you might do it can be really fruitful in terms of getting something right that, that doesn't, just doesn't detract you from where you were headed, but enhances where you end up.
- [26:02]
B
I'm really obsessed with the fact that you're talking about a co build here because I do believe it is about what does the movement think is going to, to move us forward and get this mission to its most thriving potential. And you simply cannot do that if you're in your office in a vacuum talking to the people on your team. And so I, I would even challenge and say we should not only just ask big donors, we should be asking people who are really active and really passionate in our community what they think. They're going to bring us the words, they're going to bring us the stories, and guess what? They're going to bring us network with their, their believers to see it. And it's going to have a compounding effect. So I, I want to keep going on this grassroots conversation because I think we find that there's a lot of smaller nonprofits and we're, I mean, 80% of nonprofits are, you know, have a budget of less than a million dollars. And so we want to talk practically to those organizations and if they are starting development from scratch and they, whether It's a campaign. Whether they're starting a development program, what are the first few things you would recommend they should prioritize that is going to build something that lasts.
- [27:19]
C
Yeah. Well, one thing I sometimes advise, because I have helped start from scratch, is thinking about, you know, who cares most about what you're doing, who would care if what you, if you had to stop doing what you're doing. And can you develop a plan where someone might fund, you know, give you a capacity building grant to be able to invest in an infrastructure that you can maintain?
- [27:46]
D
Right.
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C
And so, and also thinking about, I often ask nonprofits, what would you do if a million dollar gift came through your door, like unsolicited came through your door? Do you know what you would do with it? So often they don't know what they would do with it, but knowing what you would do with it helps give the discipline for where you're like how your energy is being guided even unconsciously.
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D
Right.
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C
So if you know what you would do with a million dollars, then you know that you, you can say no to some things that might distract you or you can redirect some conversations back to where you're headed.
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D
Right.
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C
So I think capacity building grants, where you think about who's do who cares about most. You don't have to build out robust systems from the beginning. Again, if we're thinking about this is about managing relationships and aligning needs and you can have your systems grow with you as you need them to, but you don't have to start with huge things. If what I need right now is to manage relationships, Right. I don't need huge systems to manage a few relationships. And I think having vision that people can buy into.
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D
Right.
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C
So here's what we want to do in the next six months. Here's what we want to do in the next five years. So I'm on the board of an organization called Eat Real. And we believe that the biggest fast food provider in our country are our public schools who provide lunches every, every day.
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D
Right.
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C
Millions of lunches of processed foods often. And so we believe that if we can increase the nutritional value of lunches, we can eventually change a student's life in terms of their health, health outcomes. When I started on that board, oh gosh, I don't even know, I think it's five years ago now, it might be more. Anyway, they had, they had two months and then they were going to have to close and then they hired an amazing executive director and she's a force of nature and they're having a board meeting in the next week or two, and we got the information like it is. It is almost unrecognizable, their dashboard at this point. And it came over time. We still have the same mission. The way that it's being executed and the way it's been broadened is extraordinary to have watched.
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D
Right.
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C
But she had to focus on those relationships that were there when she arrived, when they were about to close, who would hate, who would lose sleep because we close. That's who she started with. And guess what? They're still. They're still there with her because the mission hasn't changed. The impact has broadened. And so I think not starting with the end in mind, we have a national vision for what we're going to do. And. But she's got a plan that she's rolling out to do that and making great headway with it. But it started because of this belief that every child should have a nutritional lunch. And so how do we make sure that the ones that we can impact right now, we actually do, and we don't miss this moment and have to walk away from this mission.
- [30:54]
B
Who is that leader?
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C
Name her.
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B
We want to give her a shot.
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C
Yeah, yeah. Nora latorre. She's great.
- [30:59]
B
Nora to go.
- [31:01]
A
Yeah. Come on the show and let's talk about this. Because the power of stepping back, asking better questions, you get a different result. And I think there's so much hope in that because we've. Becky and I've kind of threaded in here, everything happening around us and all the fear and all the scarcity. But if we could just step back, we could understand that there are believers around our mission. There's opportunities that we haven't thought about. There's conversations that definitely haven't been had. There's some truth that probably needs to be told that we all have opportunities in front of us, but we're probably so in the weeds, it's hard to see sometimes. So what an amazing story. Thank you for going there. And I'm going to ask you about story because we ground our episodes talking about moments of philanthropy that just hit us in the gut. And I would ask you, is there a moment that you've witnessed philanthropy that's changed you or stayed with you in some way? What would you take us into it?
- [31:55]
C
Yeah. I have. Have two, and they're personal. One of them is the gift that felt the best to ever give, and the other was an unexpected gift that I received. Okay. So the one that was the best to ever give was actually Giving the, the shoes off of my feet at a church service. So there was some national international weather event, like a flood or something. And so we were asked, you know, what people need right now are shoes. Would you give your shoes today? And it, it, you know, you hear about giving the shirt off your back. Like, there was literally opportunity to give the shirt off my back right now. What made it so impactful, what will move me every time thinking about it, is that my children got to watch me do that.
- [32:49]
D
Right?
- [32:50]
C
And so in the work that I do, because I do so much work in with schools where there's young families and they choosing to invest, you know, by paying tuition for their kids to go to these schools because they want to give their, Their, Their kids the best. And for most of these families, it's not actually about material things. There are more material things that they could give their kids than they do. It's about how do I use my privilege of the position of being their parent to invest in. In things that will make them the best human that they'll know how to be.
- [33:21]
D
Right.
- [33:22]
C
I had this unexpected opportunity to do that, that it wouldn't have mattered what shoes they were. The fact to show my children that I would be willing to do that hope with the hope that maybe one day they would too. That was the best gift I ever gave.
- [33:37]
D
Wow.
- [33:39]
C
The best gift I ever. I would say to answer, like a gift that stands out for me, that, that is just so important. So. I lost my husband almost four and a half years ago, unexpectedly awful. Awful. And what I really, you know, my. I have two daughters. We were, you know, all of a sudden in the world without him and needing things, not knowing what I would need. But I don't, I mean, and I don't mean like material things, but just. He took the garbage out every week, right? So like all kinds of things. Like, like all kinds of things. And so, so much generosity was. Was coming our way. And I was embarrassed to have need. I was embarrassed that to. To have pity. Pity is an awful, awful emotion to project on someone. And I had to learn to resist because there was. There was a lot of pity. I understand why, but it, it just never felt good.
- [34:49]
B
Good.
- [34:50]
C
And the reason why, you know, this moment was so impactful is because I had to talk to myself because I was. I had shame about having need. And then I said, wait, wait, wait a second. You have a whole career where you actively every day are talking to people, working with people to actually raise funds for other people who you expect to receive the Generosity of those people. And you yourself are too good to do that. How dare you? How dare you feel like you are somehow doing for others what you would not have. Be willing to have done for yourself? Like there's some other way that. That to receive the resources that you need than generosity? Because somehow the general being beneficiary of generosity is. Is not. Not. Is not where you want to be. I had to talk to myself. And what that did was one, give me deeper empathy for the work that I was doing, but also have me set a new standard for myself, that if I were not willing to be the subject matter of the solicitation, letter, conversation, whatever, then I hadn't done my work enough.
- [36:02]
D
Right?
- [36:02]
C
So that. That moment, that. That wave. It's. My sister called. You had a tsunami of generosity, goodwill, all the stuff coming towards you, you and your daughters. I had to be willing to receive that. And so what would happen is that people would say, what can I do to help you right now? And I learned and disciplined myself to say, if I didn't have an answer, can I hold onto that offer until I have a response? Because something tells me I'm gonna have one one day. And I'm hoping that you still would be willing to respond. And the most beautiful thing would happen was because when I. When it wasn't like I needed to respond right away, I could respond in the timing that was best. Best for them to actually give their. Their best gift, right? So things would happen. I'd come up with something like, who I actually need help. Who can help me right now? And I would have resources to the point now where my. My daughters are like, mom, do you have a friend who. Whatever something is. Including. Including Coachella tickets, which, my gosh, priorities. So I. It. That. That just really stands out to me deep in my work and deep in my purpose.
- [37:17]
B
I'm just sitting here thinking that you named your company so beautifully to reflect the gratitude and joy that I always feel every time I'm in your presence. But I. I love this reciprocity of joy raising and showing up for people. And sometimes you're the beneficiary, and sometimes you are the benefactor. And I just think every single one of us go through life switching between those roles. And it is a gift to be in community with people who want to keep showing up for you. So love both of those one good things. I can see you walking out of that room completely shoeless, like, in a beautiful dress, walking out to your car. And I. And I. And I can imagine all of These people walking barefoot at him and like, what a anthem that is. Again, of community. So, Tessa, you know us, we're going to put a big bow on this with a one good thing. So what can you leave behind with our listeners that's your one good thing that's bubbling up today?
- [38:26]
C
That there's always a choice around being kind.
- [38:32]
B
Do you think we've lost that, that, that notion? Do you think we've forgotten?
- [38:37]
C
You know, I, I named my company Joy Raising. My middle name is Joy. And so I feel like my parents gave me the opportunity and the right to, to claim it, but I had pause about doing it because it, I, it could be perceived as soft and unserious. And I think kindness can be the same. And so, you know, I, I lead with kindness and I expect it back. And I don't knowingly put myself into situations where, or where, where that's not going to be the case if I don't have to. And so it is a value that I claim. And so I don't know. I don't know if we've lost it. I haven't. The people I choose to spend my time with haven't. And hopefully, you know, we haven't. We absolutely haven't. I think about, you know, where I've been over the past two months in beautiful places and. No, we haven't.
- [39:37]
B
I don't think we have either. I think it's just the choice to rise up and claim it each day, despite the things that are noisy in our life. So what a good human you are. Thank you.
- [39:49]
A
What a way to bring this whole conversation home. I mean, Tessa, share. Please share all the ways that you show up online. How can people find you? Connect with their work at Joy Raising. What's your social platform of choice?
- [40:00]
B
All the things.
- [40:02]
C
So thank you. I'm on LinkedIn a lot. I'm Tessa McCord, PO. I don't think there's another one of that. So that's an easy way to find me. And then joy-raising.com is the website and those are the two main ways to find me. The dash is really important. It's based on the dash poem. I don't know if you know it, but it talks about. I first heard it at a funeral. It talks about on our tombstone. We have the year we were born and the year we pass away, the year we. Most of us don't choose those years.
- [40:32]
D
Right.
- [40:33]
C
The dash in the middle. We get to choose every day.
- [40:35]
B
It's.
- [40:36]
C
What are you doing every day? So Joy Raising is my dash. It's my dream come true. I don't ever want to forget that. I don't want other people to forget it either. So joyraising. Com.
- [40:46]
B
Thank you, my friend, for coming in and absolutely joy incarnate.
- [40:50]
A
Such an honor. Thank you.
- [40:51]
C
Thank you so much.