C (2:34)

Well, I'm so excited to be here. Really looking forward to this conversation.

A (2:38)

Well, we have a lot we want to talk to you about, but we just want to get to know you, the human first. Will you take us back, Melissa? Like growing up, maybe some formative experiences that informed your journey?

C (2:49)

Yeah, I mean, I live in the community that I grew up in in southern New Jersey. Love it. And when I was a child, a teenager, I was not thriving. I failed 9th and 10th grades in high school. I was autistic, but at the time, undiagnosed autism. So I really didn't know how to navigate sort of the traditional school environment. I spent the bulk of my time alone, isolated. There was a basement crawl space in our house where I spent lots of time, turned it into a little office and wrote letters to the president and, you know, thought about. Thought about structures and solutions to the world's challenges. But from that crawl space, and as a kiddo who had never even read a book and had straight Fs on my report card, no way of getting from that crawl space to a place where my voice or my ideas could play a role in the world. And then, you know, one day, a complete stranger who became my mentor walked into my life. And that's what I needed. I needed an individual to reflect back to me my worth and value, to believe that I was more than my labels. And that kind of set me on my journey. You know, having a caring adult mentor in my life made all the difference and, you know, kind of became the foundation of my life's work, which is finding young people that are counted out and creating what Give Back is fundamentally as an organization that reflects back to them their worth and value and help them unlock their full potential. And that's what we are. And that's, yeah, my own journey.

B (4:37)

So many thoughts here. Number one, I am your fellow autistic neurospicy friend as well, recently diagnosed. And two, just the power of lived experience cannot be overstated in any sense. And the fact that people overlooked you and look at what you're doing right now, look at your career, to think that that could have been left in the crawl space. And I think about that through the lens of millions of kids. And now you have this organization that is going in with these fresh eyes they don't see these labels, as you've mentioned.

C (5:15)

They see it at the door. Right?

B (5:17)

Yes. And what it's unlocking is so revolutionary. So I gotta get into it. Melissa, for our listeners just who aren't familiar with your org, like, take us back, share that history, mission, and the programs over at Give Back. Give us like a 10,000 foot view of it.

C (5:35)

Yeah. So Give Back was founded more than 20 years ago by Robert Carr. He's our fearless leader. Bob, you know, walked a mile in the shoes of the young people that we serve. He grew up in Lockport, Illinois. He grew up in poverty. He grew up with a lot of challenges. His father went to prison. He had many siblings, and he saw his mom working two jobs to support his family. He was the first in his family to go to college. And the Lockport Women's Club gave him a $250 scholarship, which, you know, similar to my mentor was someone reflecting back to him that he was worthy of support and being invested in. I think in that very moment, at least, this is what he, what he says and what he's followed through on. He made a commitment that when he became successful, that he would reach back out to young people like himself and he would invest in them. You know, today, Bob has overcome multiple challenges and failures. And his first book was called through the Fires, which is a good reflection of his own journey. He has given more than 100 million to this cause. And I've been with Bob when he's walked into homeless shelters, when he's walked into rooms with children who are in foster care, when he's gone into prisons to talk to moms and dads, to say, I've done all this work in my life. I've been very successful. And what's most important to me is to invest in you. And that's a very powerful statement. And then he talks about, you know, or we talk about as an organization, try to provide examples and support and resources to help unlock that limitless potential that all of these young people have.

A (7:30)

Okay, friend. These stories just are worthy of sitting at for a second and recognizing the small act of generosity that changes the course of not just one life, but now the thousands of people impacted because of that generosity. So the next time you're counting out a $250 gift and putting it in a category as an annual gift over here or a small gift in a nonprofit, recognizing, like, what that did in Bob's life to change the trajectory for.

B (8:00)

Everybody, this happened to us. John, our major gift donor, Boone Pickens at Oklahoma State University. Boone's first gift was $50. By the time we got there, and we're launching a billion dollar campaign, he was dropping hundred million dollar gifts. I think that this is definitely a through line of looking for your believers and making sure that you see people. So I love that you looked at that, John.

C (8:25)

One thought about that is I think sometimes we discount that simple act of kindness in a moment. And I'd never really thought about that until you just said it. But the $250 scholarship, the complete stranger who showed me kindness in both of those instances, the people probably didn't have the length of view to see what that impact is. But it's kind of always the case, isn't it, that when we just do an act of kindness or we put that good into the world, it magnifies, it amplifies, and it just grows in ways that we can never measure. Ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple.

A (9:05)

So I want to go back to kind of how you introduced this story that you said. You describe give back as a place for people who've been counted out. How did that come to be lifted specifically in your work? And how do you view that?

C (9:18)

Well, I think, I mean, just in a very practical sense, if I walk into, which I did recently walked into a high school that had close to 2,000 students, and we had a meeting where we specifically invited young people who experienced homelessness, foster care, maybe had a caregiver that was incarcerated, and we brought them together to talk about the college application process. And they all wanted to go to college. Some of them were even prepared to, but none of them had met with a guidance counselor because they were the kiddos that are counted out. You know, they're not in a school. That's all these schools are under resourced today. They're all under resourced. There's no school that's fully resourced. And if you have just a few guidance counselors to deal with 2,000 students, they're dealing with the valedictorians, the certain percentage, the high performers, and then everybody else is kind of left to fend for themselves. And then there's a whole group that are just counted out. Right? But I think statistically, and very few of the scholarship programs, very few of the leadership academies or extracurricular activities are specifically prioritizing the enrollment of the young people that we empower. They're usually the ones that are counted out.

B (10:42)

I want to flip this on its head and say, what have you seen? What have you observed? When you start to put a lens on Them and their capabilities. What have you discovered?

C (10:55)

What I've found is that every single time, it's life changing. Right? Like, I've never met a young person who, when given the support and when trading a label of foster youth or homeless child, you know, whatever that is for scholar, entrepreneur, leader, given a mentor, given a pathway, has failed. The young people that we serve, they don't just kind of make it through, but when they emerge through their challenges, they lead. They become world changers, they become oncologists, they become mayors, they become student council presidents. I can't tell you how many of our students are their graduation speakers at their college graduations. And the thing that I think is profound is that I'm thinking about two of our youth who, for their graduation speakers and still homeless, right? Because we're not. Their lives aren't changing their lives. You're not taking them out of those situations necessarily. We're giving them college scholarships and coaches and mentors and those kinds of things. But we're giving them some tools to navigate those circumstances. But those circumstances are still at play. They're working to achieve their dreams and their full potential. So it's just, you know, it's just extraordinary to see.

B (12:21)

I just have to, like, talk about the power of reframe here on what you just said, because identity is one of the most powerful things that we can glom onto in this world. And when you have been told that you are insert negative label, what you're doing here is reframing to scholar, entrepreneur leader. And I can imagine that when you've had that negativity lobbed at you and someone calls you a scholar or a leader, it feels like drawing to an oasis. And I just think as we move through this world and we think about words and we think about identity and we think about compassion, that can be the catalyst to change. As much as the opposite is true, when you say something negative, it takes somebody down. And so. So I think that is what I'm hearing that is just so fundamental in your mission right now. That is a powerful, powerful unlock. So bravo to you for that.

C (13:28)

Yeah, it's a true gift, you know, it's authentic. I mean, it's reflecting back to you who you really are. You know, that's the definition of love, right? Is to be truly seen and heard. And I think that's kind of the fundamental transformative power of what we do, is just to see beyond, you know, those labels and the surface level to the true self.

A (13:51)

Gosh, we like you so much.

B (13:53)

Yeah, I totally like you so much. I love this mission so much.

A (13:57)

Which I wonder if you could get practical with us in terms of what your programs look like. Because I also want to thread in the how because you center dignity and you do that already in your words, in the way that you talk about the students you get to work with. But maybe if you could share about the programs and kind of how you thread dignity, I think that could be a powerful.

C (14:17)

Yeah, sure. So we, we recruit in a variety of ways. We recruit young people. I mean, the earliest is usually seventh, eighth grade. And we do that through partnerships. You know, we'll go into the schools, we go, we'll partner with Department of Children and Families, we'll go into correctional facilities and we'll do information sessions for caregivers who are incarcerated. And then they'll refer their children and then we go meet with their children and enroll them into the program. We meet with young people who've experienced community violence. And we're just always looking for the young people that have the lowest statistical likelihood of making it, who are the most vulnerable, the most marginalized. And then we enroll them into our program and then they're matched with a professional success coach who is available to them to meet with them twice a month or more, you know, if the need is there. And those coaches are trained, supervised, they have ongoing training. It's a community of coaches. And they have a specific way that they work with young people that's around goal setting, improving executive functioning, and they develop a written goal plan with the students. And then over time there's, there's sort of the career exploration and figuring out what is that young person born to do, right? What is it that they want to become. And then we do a lot of work around that career exploration and development. And they develop what we call a career action plan that is there how to get from here to their plan. And when that plan is looks viable to us, we sign off on it. And that plan always has kind of a post secondary component to it. Like they want to go to a trade school, they want to become a welder, want to go get a degree from Rowan University in psychology. Whatever that plan is, we sign off on it and then we will pay for the gap between their financial aid and the cost of attendance.

B (16:25)

Oh, thank you for doing that for.

C (16:26)

That post secondary pathway. As long as they stay on track.

A (16:37)

Hey friends, here's a bit of real talk. This movement doesn't happen without community. And that includes our encouragement.

B (16:43)

Incredible ecosystem partners, big gratitude to give butter RKD Group, Donor Doc, Feather, Whiteboard and Sewin. These aren't just sponsors, they're mission driven allies showing up to fuel change alongside us.

A (16:56)

Their support helps bring you the free tools, education keynotes and summits because they believe like we do, that investing in people is what powers real impact.

B (17:06)

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A (17:18)

You want to learn more, head over to weareforgood.com Rex that's weareforgood.com recs for VIP access to orgs and amazing humans doing really great work.

B (17:37)

The investment is, is on many levels I'm seeing here. I mean one, thank you for the financial investment. I mean Bob, what a legacy. It's all Bob, from $250 scholarship to this, but also this investment of time and emotional energy and I'm with you and let's do this together. And John, I know you're obsessing about the goal, like written goal planning because you, you were the one who taught me about the power of that. But I, I think just seeing something written and chasing it, you know, every day is, is a very powerful thing.

C (18:12)

And, and having an accountability partner who can help you like work through, like how do I do, I want to do this thing, but how do I get there?

B (18:21)

And you're not alone, which I'm sure has been like a through line for a lot of these kids is that for sure is feeling alone. And so I, I, you just mentioned that you have thousands of these students across the, the country. And I want to know what are the first steps you take to start restoring hope, to build trust? What is that?

C (18:45)

I think there's a couple of things. Obviously consistency is critical, you know, being consistent but also competent. Right. One of the things we found with kind of our early mentoring is that the mentors weren't equipped to handle or to help navigate some of these complex things. So our coaches are so extensively and continuously trained to navigate. I mean, I think that's one of the things that give back is best at. You know, how you try to figure out like what's your core competency as an organization? I think our core competency is we know more than anyone else about how to help a young person who's homeless, doesn't have a permanent address, has dealt with extensive trauma, navigate the path from being a sophomore in high school through to college. Graduation without knowing where they're going to go on winter break or how they're going to outfit their dorm room or what they're going to do when all the kids the first weekend want to go out to get pizza and they don't have pizza money or hangers to hang their clothes on or a comforter for their bed or even how to get their records to apply. Right. It's like if I'm homeless, do I have my birth certificate? Like what address am I putting down? There's just so much complexity to filling out a piece of paper when you're homeless. And so the training of the coaches and developing that deep knowledge I think is the starting point. Point. Because then when a young person comes to us with something complex, we're able to start to untangle that one piece at a time.

A (20:28)

To have somebody as a guide, to have somebody there that is showing you how but also letting you be in control is everything. So I think that's a beautiful model that y' all have. I wonder if there's a story that lifts of this in action of somebody that's come through give back. That it represents not just their changed life, but their family, their community. The ripple that we talked about.

C (20:53)

Oh my gosh, so many stories. I wish.

B (20:55)

We've got four hours. Go on, keep going.

C (20:58)

Yeah, no, I was thinking, like, I was thinking about how one of the things that we really leverage is example, you know, is taking the college seniors and making sure that they're talking to the high school freshmen and the way, the ways in which we do that. So there's a, there's a young man in my office who's been with us since he was 12, into the program. He was in foster care, lost his mother. You know, just multiple challenges over the years, multiple opportunities to sort of quit and give up and fail in school. And his mother died, you know, at a key inflection. Like when is it not a key inflection point in a young person's life? But you know what I mean, at a certain moment. And he graduated high school, then he got his associate's degree, then his four year university, you know, earned his four year degree and now he's a coach. He's one of our success coaches. So we try to. That's kind of our long term model is that these young people come through the programs to try to bring them back on as success coaches because they've walked a thousand miles in the shoes of the students and can really speak to those give up moments with so much Authenticity.

B (22:15)

I just think the lived experience is so powerful in something like this. And I have to tell you, as I'm hearing the story, what is going through my mind is like the tremendous privilege that I, and so many of us have grown up around. And it's this notion of community. And you have so much community around you when you are privileged. And I say privileged in a spectrum of ways. In the fact that I had teachers rooting for me, I had coaches because I was able to play Little League. I had a Brownie, you know, leader. I had student council advisor. When I just. I'm seeing all these faces wrap around my childhood and not to mention incredible parents. And it's like when one of those or a couple of them go away, the circle is not as tight. But when you have no one or very few around you, that can create a catechismic shift. And so what you are doing here is. It's so deep to me, Melissa, in such a powerful way of building this community of belief, of support, of abundance, and that you can be a part of abundance. In fact, we need you to play whatever special role it is because you have gifts within you that no one else has that are waiting to be unlocked. And the fact that you're doing it at scale with thousands today tells me that in five years, you're going to have 10,000, and five years after that, we're going to have 100,000. And this is how we start to break cycles of not just poverty and incarceration, but cycles of loneliness, disconnection, of not believing in ourselves. So I want to go back, like, to Bob, because it takes a really radical vision to do something like this. And I think there's just a really powerful intergenerational thread in this story. You've said even though Bob has started this, you've said you felt this calling to carry this work forward. What does bridging generations in this mission mean? And that's one, and then two. How does the shared vision of compassion evolve between you?

C (24:38)

You know, one of the things for Bob is the hundred million he's given is the hundred million he had, right? There's not like 500 million and he gave a hundred million. It's like he's given everything that he has. And so quietly and humbly. And, like, he doesn't like to talk about it. You know, he's just. I've never met anyone like him. And he personally knows many, many, many, many of our students. You know, they have a cell phone number. I'll see a picture that they've posted on Facebook, that they had some award that they received at some event in their community. And there's Bob. It's like, how did he get there?

A (25:20)

He's a legend.

C (25:21)

How'd he get there? You know, what is Bob doing there? They're, you know, some big event in their lives. Their graduations, you know, those kinds of things. And I think when I think about intergenerational, I think about the challenges that were teeing up for this generation.

B (25:37)

Right?

C (25:38)

Many to choose from, a few. Right? Yes. And I think from Bob's perspective, there's no better investment than investing in these young people who are going to be saddled with tremendous challenges, social issues across every sector. But also, Bob is such an optimist. You know, if you were to say to him, like, the world's a mess right now, which a lot of people are saying, he would point out all the reasons why this is the best moment in history that a person could be around. Because what those challenges present is such an opportunity for innovation and breakthrough. And I think that when you're investing in young people that have to face adversity in their own life and know how to break through, and then they get equipped and then they apply that kind of persistence and breakthrough thinking and problem solving, and I don't quit when I face a challenge and all of that. It's like these young people who are counted out are the young people that we're counting on, is what we always say.

B (26:41)

That's it.

A (26:42)

This whole conversation, I just feel like it's kind of almost a gut punch of, this is the stuff that really matters. I hope you listening, like, feel that in this conversation because there's a lot of agency in, like, how this applies to each of us, that what's the thing that pains you? What's the thing that keeps you up at night or that nags at you, that was part of your burden, like finding a way to channel that positive for others to help fill that gap is the way, like, there's enough. There's so much. There's abundance when we all do that well.

C (27:12)

And that's why what you're doing is so important, because it's those stories that inspire us. Now, I think about when I was in that crawl space and learning about Dr. Viktor Frankl or people who went through these horrific things that would stop most people. But when you can transform tragedy into triumph and adversity into change, it's like, I mean, that is the point of it all. So how do we do that? And It's. We have seen the examples, the Bobs of the world who. His father went to prison first in his family to go to college. He had so many obstacles, and it's in the persistence that we find hope. There's so, so many stories of people.

A (27:59)

While you're teeing me up that we.

C (28:00)

Get to surround ourselves all day with.

B (28:03)

She is teeing you up really well.

A (28:05)

Like, you're teeing me up. Like, you know, oh, am I? Oh, yeah. I love it so much. Like, we always hold space for story, and we ask, you know, what's a moment of philanthropy that's moved you? And it doesn't have to be big because it rarely is. It's just a moment of generosity that stuck with you in your life. Would you share that with us?

C (28:25)

Oh, my gosh. This one is. There's so many, and they're all in a certain category, which is what? The biggest thing that I've learned in life is that when I think I'm helping someone, how much they help me. It's like I've gone into a jail and met with someone and thought, gosh, you know, I'm coming in to help you. And then two months into the relationship, I'm realizing that they are that kind of wake up moment when you realize they're enriching my life more than I'm enriching theirs. And so, I mean, there's just so many times where, like, our students. I went through cancer recently, and you know what the students. Some of the students gave to me during that time? Encouragement. Like, I had a student come with me to one of my appointments, you know, one of my radiation appointments and things. And it's just like you just in these environments, we. We lose sight. We think, like, I'm helping. It's just not the way it actually is. We're learning as much, if not more from the students than we're giving to them. We're being so much more enriched. And there's a real gratitude in that. And it's just the way that it is. The revelation, you know, that you have in the work is. It's extraordinary.

B (29:50)

Yeah. The reciprocity in this work.

C (29:52)

The reciprocity. That's a good way of putting it.

B (29:55)

Is the thing that keeps giving back. And that's what I think is so cool about philanthropy, about generosity. When we choose to be generous, it will come back. And I also just want to say I'm so glad that you look so healthy today. I hope your cancer journey is behind you, and I feeling very grateful that you have had, had such a vibrant community to help lift you up during that time too. So, Melissa, I want to ask you what give back needs from the larger community. Okay, Give it to us. Tell our community how they can help without hesitation.

A (30:32)

You know it's right.

C (30:34)

I mean, don't we all just need encouragement right now?

B (30:37)

Yeah, we do.

A (30:38)

That's baseline.

C (30:39)

It's like baseline. It's a weird time. It feels like a weird time to be a nonprofit. Like, even the sector feels a little bit under attack in the moment, you know, for sure. So I think not being isolated helps. We need to get the word out that we exist so that we can find more kids that we can come into community with. We were in Covid for so long, it's like coming out of isolation. So if anybody is listening to this and they are affiliated with organizations, you know, in different communities or places where what we do and what you do together could make an exponential difference. We're looking for partners.

B (31:23)

Come on over. Come on over. Come on over.

A (31:25)

Lock those arms.

C (31:26)

We have to come together right now. We've got to figure out at the grassroots level, at the 1. On one level, it's like, how do we pull together in a way that's gonna help us imagine what the next phase of our. Our nation, our community, is going to be. It's an important moment.

B (31:46)

It is an important moment, and it's up to the doers to seize it.

A (31:51)

I mean, we round out all of our convos asking for a one good thing. This could be something that's true to you, like a mantra or a piece of advice. What's lifting for you today?

C (32:02)

What's lifting for me is nobody gets. We don't get there alone. None of us. Everything privileged. Not privileged. We. Anyone who has any quality of life, it's because of all the people who've come around you and helped you. And so I would say, you know, the good is how many pe. How many helpers there are. And I always tell people like, don't be ashamed or embarrassed that you need help because it's universal. Literally no one who is successful got there without immense help. And as an autistic person, just the amount of help that I've received, it's like overwhelming, overwhelming gratitude for it, but also kind of permission to others to seek help and get help, because success isn't. It's not a one person operation.

B (33:04)

Can you tell me the first name of your mentor?

C (33:07)

Lee.

B (33:08)

Lee. I just want to say, Lee, thank you for seeing our friend. Thank you for unlocking what is rippling in this organization. Thank you to all the LE's out there who take a second and step back in this frenetic, busy world that we live in, the people who stand and pause and look around and notice who's not at the table and brings them in. If you didn't have that in your life right now, friends, be that for somebody because that is part of the ripple. And so I just want to tell you that I am so glad that we have met you. I am so glad to know about Give Back. Shout out to Maya. Thank you for bringing this wonderful story to our community. People are going to want to connect with you, Melissa. Tell us how they can find you. Where do you hang out online and how can they connect with the entire Give Back community and mission?

C (34:09)

Yeah, I mean, you can reach out to Give Back. You can email me. M Helmbrecht. M H E L M B R E C H t@Giveback NGO.

A (34:24)

I mean, that's generosity in action. You're giving your email address and check out Giveback ngo. Is your full website where you can.

C (34:32)

It is, yeah. Call the office. There's coaches ready to help. There's people ready to partner. Until we reach the last one, which was like millions in this country, I.

B (34:44)

Just believe in the power of what this is and how it is helping fuel this world. So if you feel called to come into this work, please reach out to Melissa because we could always use more hands in it. Thank you.

C (35:00)

Thank you.

B (35:01)

Keep going.

A (35:02)

Appreciate you.

C (35:03)

Appreciate you, too.