Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things

Episode Title: Amanda’s Breakthrough: Finally Letting Go
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Release Date: November 20, 2025

Episode Overview

In this heartful and candid episode, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda gather on their metaphorical couch for an intimate Pod Squad Q&A. Their "sweet spot" emerges as they spiral together around three core questions: what counts as a true vacation, whether writing memoirs is an act of arrogance, and Amanda’s journey in finally letting go of toxic control in her life post-cancer. Listeners experience a blend of laughter, playful debate, personal breakthroughs, and reflections on what it means to be seen and valued as women and humans.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Vacation vs. Trip: What Counts as a True Escape?

Timestamps: [03:38]–[09:49]

• The core question: "Is camping actually a vacation or just character building family time I have to endure?"
• Abby’s Stance: Sees camping as a way to return to primal roots and embrace challenge:
  • "Being in nature, there’s just something important to take away the modern day conveniences... It forces your brain to work in different ways. I truly think that I’m right about this.” [04:19]
• Glennon’s Hilarious Rebuttal: Uses a biblical analogy to argue against camping, elevating modern comforts as “far greater works” than nature’s basics:
  • “Yes, I made the stars. But you, my disciples, will make overhead lighting… I may have made tents. But you, my beloveds, will make hotels. Far greater works. So I don’t camp because I believe Jesus.” [07:07–08:30]
• Amanda’s Summary: The debate boils down to personal values:
  • Abby = “depriving yourself of modern luxuries so you can enjoy your everyday life more”
  • Glennon = “indulging in modern luxuries so you can enjoy the rest of your life more”
  • “Blessed are the forks. Blessed the couches.” [09:39–09:41]

2. Is Writing Memoir Arrogant and Self-indulgent?

Timestamps: [09:58]–[25:45]

• Listener’s Question: Feeling “self-indulgent” or “egotistical” about wanting to share their story; is it arrogant?
• Glennon’s Deep Dive:
  • Describes her writing as a study of the human condition, using herself as the experiment:
    • “What drives me, what I am most curious about in the world… is the human condition… When you want to spend your life… being curious about the human condition, I suppose you could use for that experiment yourself or you could use other people.” [10:18–11:34]
  • Considers it more arrogant to analyze/criticize others' stories than to dissect her own:
    • “What I can't imagine being arrogant enough to do is be interested in the human experience and only use other people as specimens.” [11:35]
    • “Your story is your fucking right to tell. And by the way, they only say this about women.” [14:52]
  • Highlights a double standard:
    • “Men are writing about life. Women are writing about themselves… Most of the drama and trauma that’s happening in our lives and in our world is because people aren’t doing enough fucking navel gazing.” [15:28]
• Amanda’s Reflection:
  • Sharing your story is a claim to self-worth:
    • “The impulse for somebody to want to tell their story… it’s like putting a stake in the ground, saying I am a person that has a voice and has something to say.” [16:20]
• Societal critique: They discuss how women’s focus on “the interior world” is systematically devalued:
  • “It is called interior because it is a woman exploring it… Everything that you talk about has structural and societal and political implications.” – Amanda [22:17]
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “It takes a lot more arrogance to tell someone they don’t have a right to be a main character than just someone who’s a main character.” – Amanda [20:37]
  • “Anytime a woman dares to speak, people will find a way to hate it.” – Glennon [24:52]
  • “If you say the thing and claim the thing, it defangs the thing.” – Amanda, paraphrasing Audre Lorde [25:45]

3. Amanda’s Breakthrough: Letting Go of Control

Timestamps: [32:17]–[53:26]

• Listener’s Question: "Amanda, you’ve shared a lot about control, handling it all and feeling overwhelmed. Where are you with that right now?"
• Amanda’s Vulnerable Story:
  • After a year of battling cancer, Amanda realized she hadn’t changed her approach to life at all—still hyper-responsible, overwhelmed, and clinging to control:
    • “I thought there would be some transformation… but when I got that [anniversary] text… I realized that I had changed nothing about my life.” [32:26]
  • Admits to chasing the “highest goal” of doing everything, and any reduction in effort felt like failure:
    • “As long as I thought that was the highest goal, I didn’t know how to stop… it felt like a defeat.” [36:26]
  • A Buddhist teaching offered breakthrough perspective:
    • “It’s not to lighten their burden, but to make their burden so heavy that they put it down… That... reframing was like, maybe we’re not helping you because the whole fucking point is to put it down.” [38:59–39:16]
  • Reorients from “must hold all the plates” to questioning which “plates” she even wants to hold:
    • “Do I want that plate? What has that plate done for me? What I’m trying to work on is figuring out which ones are actually mine.” [39:45–41:42]
• Glennon on Peace:
  • Warns against “horizon living”—postponing peace until after the latest challenge.
  • “The path to peace is peace… If peace is the end, then peace has to be the means.” [45:35–46:42]
• Abby’s Reflection:
  • Acknowledges the external rewards of hard work and the need to bravely step off the treadmill:
    • “There has been an extraordinary amount of affirmation related to the toil and the holding up of plates… But there has been a cost.” [46:42]
• Amanda’s New Challenge:
  • Recognizes the discomfort of self-authorship now that she has choice and agency.
    • “It would be much more comfortable, the way I am built, to be like, there’s a path, there’s a rule... I have to like, figure my own path by myself, for myself, and that’s not comfortable for me. So I don’t know what it is… but I’m being forced to consider [it] if I’m going to live honestly according to my reality.” [53:02]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Do you go to the dentist, and when they want to fill a cavity, are you like, ‘Forget the Novocaine. I just want to experience this as my primal self?’” – Glennon [04:46]
• “I may have made tents. I may have made tents. But you, my beloveds, will make hotels. Far greater works. So I don’t camp because I believe Jesus.” – Glennon [08:15]
• “If you think the highest goal is to do all the things, then to not do all of them is just failure to the goal. It’s not a shift in... You have to shift the goal.” – Glennon [35:44]
• “Maybe we’re not helping you because the whole fucking point is to put it down.” – Amanda [39:16]
• “If peace is the end, then peace has to be the means.” – Glennon [46:42]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:38] – Camping vs. vacation debate
• [07:07]–[08:30] – Glennon’s “Far greater works” biblical analogy
• [09:58] – Memoir question: Is it arrogant?
• [10:18]–[15:28] – Glennon's philosophy on memoir and criticism
• [16:20] – Amanda on self-sovereignty in storytelling
• [22:17]–[24:52] – Societal dismissal of women's stories
• [32:17] – Amanda’s control and cancer breakthrough
• [38:59]–[39:16] – Buddhist reframe: “Put the burden down”
• [45:35]–[46:42] – Glennon on peace as both means and end
• [53:26] – Amanda accepting the discomfort of having agency

Final Thoughts

This episode is rich with laughter, wit, spiritual depth, and real-world candor. It’s an honest reckoning with the pressures of modern life—especially for women—and a rallying cry for owning one’s story and putting down what no longer serves. Amanda’s breakthrough about letting go of impossible standards and Glennon’s creative reframing of both ancient texts and modern living make this a must-listen (or must-read) for anyone searching for permission to rest and reclaim self-authorship.

Next Episode: Stay tuned as the Pod Squad dives deeper into the hard and beautiful realities of being human.