Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things – "Are You Addicted to Drama? How to Know & How to Fix it with Dr. Scott Lyons"

Episode Details:

• Title: Are You Addicted to Drama? How to Know & How to Fix it with Dr. Scott Lyons
• Release Date: May 29, 2025
• Guests: Dr. Scott Lyons
• Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
• Description: In this episode, Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist and author of Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos, joins Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle to delve into the pervasive issue of drama addiction. The conversation explores how individuals become dependent on stress and chaos, the physiological and psychological mechanisms behind it, and practical steps toward healing and fostering healthier relationships.

1. Understanding Drama Addiction

Abby Wambach opens the discussion by introducing Dr. Scott Lyons and framing the conversation around our collective "codependent relationship with stress," highlighting how societal pressures and personal traumas contribute to drama addiction.

"We have been in a very codependent relationship with stress... it's time to break that codependency."
[04:46] Dr. Scott Lyons

2. Defining Drama Addiction

Dr. Scott Lyons provides a clear definition of drama addiction, emphasizing that it involves unnecessary stress and turmoil characterized by exaggerated emotions and behaviors.

"Drama's this unnecessary stress and turmoil. It's the exaggeration... blowing a birthday candle out with a fire hose."
[06:14] Dr. Scott Lyons

He explains that drama addiction is not just about creating chaos but about the underlying need to feel alive and connected, often masking deeper traumas.

3. Physiological Underpinnings of Drama Addiction

Glennon Doyle inquires about the brain chemistry behind drama addiction. Dr. Lyons elaborates on how stress triggers the release of endorphins, which provide pain relief and a sense of social bonding.

"Endorphins are these natural chemicals in our brain that produce feelings of pleasure and pain relief and emotional warmth."
[13:20] Dr. Scott Lyons

He highlights that individuals with developmental trauma may have lower baseline levels of these endorphins, making them more susceptible to seeking external sources of stress and drama to achieve a sense of relief and connection.

4. Personal Stories and Experiences

Dr. Lyons shares his personal journey, recounting how growing up in a chaotic environment led him to develop a high tolerance for stress, ultimately resulting in a cardiac arrest that served as a wake-up call.

"I was in a really awful, abusive relationship... I was in New York... I went into cardiac arrest and collapsed."
[23:05] Dr. Scott Lyons

This pivotal moment underscored the unsustainable nature of his drama addiction and the necessity of seeking genuine healing.

5. Identifying Drama Addiction in Yourself and Others

The hosts discuss various manifestations of drama addiction, such as over-scheduling, constant venting, gossiping, and creating high-stress environments to avoid deeper emotional pain.

"You're addicted to the thing that's rushing through your blood... It can be so forgiven."
[16:17] Dr. Scott Lyons

They explore how these behaviors serve as avoidant strategies, preventing individuals from addressing their underlying traumas and fostering genuine connections.

6. Impact on Relationships and Social Dynamics

The conversation delves into how drama addiction affects personal relationships, often leading to toxic dynamics, lack of trust, and superficial bonding.

"We are trying to create an environment where if a kid comes in and tells a story... we can go straight into demonizing them."
[39:20] Glennon Doyle

Dr. Lyons explains that such behaviors fragment individuals from authentic relationships, making it difficult to form meaningful connections and perpetuating feelings of loneliness.

7. Steps Toward Healing and Overcoming Drama Addiction

Dr. Lyons outlines practical steps for recognizing and addressing drama addiction, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, identifying easeful moments in life, and rebuilding a sense of safety and connection.

"Start to recognize where are we contributing to our own level of pain and suffering... What is underneath that?"
[51:27] Dr. Scott Lyons

He encourages listeners to develop a "drama diet," limiting exposure to unnecessary stressors and cultivating habits that promote calmness and genuine well-being.

8. Vision of a Drama-Free Life

The hosts and Dr. Lyons paint a hopeful picture of life without drama addiction, highlighting the richness and fullness that come from authentic relationships and inner peace.

"Life does feel rich. Life feels full. I feel full."
[52:01] Dr. Scott Lyons

They discuss how overcoming drama addiction allows individuals to experience life’s nuances and build deep, fulfilling connections that foster true happiness and peace.

9. Hope and Encouragement

Throughout the episode, there is a strong emphasis on the possibility of healing and transformation. Dr. Lyons shares his experience of finding safety and connection after a traumatic breakup, reinforcing the message that recovery is attainable with time and support.

"You get to come home and fill yourself back with you and the relationships that begin to emerge because you're home."
[53:53] Dr. Scott Lyons

10. Final Thoughts and Call to Action

As the episode concludes, the hosts encourage listeners to take proactive steps toward recognizing their own drama addictions and seeking the necessary support for healing. They recommend Dr. Scott Lyons' book, Addicted to Drama, as a valuable resource for those looking to understand and overcome their dependencies on chaos and stress.

Notable Quotes:

• "We are trying to create an environment where... we can go straight into demonizing them just to keep perpetuating the idea that we have everything figured out over here."
  [39:20] Glennon Doyle

• "People think it's about attention. It's not. It's about sensation. To feel alive."
  [58:31] Dr. Scott Lyons

• "Identity is the repetition of being. That is the definition of identity."
  [57:30] Dr. Scott Lyons

Conclusion:

This episode of We Can Do Hard Things offers a profound exploration of drama addiction, its roots in trauma and stress, and the pathways to genuine healing and connection. Dr. Scott Lyons' insights, coupled with the compassionate dialogue from Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle, provide listeners with both understanding and actionable steps to break free from the destructive cycles of drama and embrace a life of authenticity and peace.