Podcast Summary: "Bad with Money? Get Better with Tori Dunlap"
We Can Do Hard Things is a poignant and empowering podcast hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle. In the episode titled "Bad with Money? Get Better with Tori Dunlap", released on July 29, 2025, the trio delves deep into the intricate relationship women have with money. They are joined by financial feminist expert Tori Dunlap, author of the instant New York Times Bestseller "Financial Feminist", host of the Financial Feminist podcast, and co-creator of Treasury, an investing education platform.
Introduction to Tori Dunlap
Amanda Doyle opens the conversation by highlighting Tori's impressive credentials and her impact on over five million women seeking financial empowerment. Tori herself humbly shares her excitement to discuss money— a topic she admits she was once terrified to address publicly.
Notable Quote:
Amanda Doyle [02:05]: "Tori Dunlap... has helped over 5 million women negotiate salary, pay off debt, build savings and invest..."
Breaking the Silence: Emotional Barriers to Money
The discussion kicks off with Tori addressing the emotional barriers that prevent many women from engaging confidently with their finances. She introduces two relatable scenarios:
- Ostrich Effect: Ignoring financial issues in hopes they'll resolve themselves.
- Self-Imposed Shame: Feeling guilty about not managing money "correctly."
Tori explains that these behaviors stem from deep-seated shame and societal conditioning, where women are often made to feel inadequate about their financial acumen.
Notable Quote:
Tori Dunlap [08:15]: "We believe somehow that we were either born with the good with money gene or born with the bad with money gene."
Societal Narratives and Gender Biases
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to unpacking how societal narratives shape women's relationships with money. Tori eloquently contrasts the financial advice dispensed to men versus women, highlighting a stark double standard.
- For Men: "Make more money," "invest," "negotiate your salary."
- For Women: "Don't spend frivolously," "stay humble," "control yourself."
Tori passionately argues that this double standard not only limits women's financial growth but also perpetuates harmful stereotypes about women and wealth.
Notable Quote:
Tori Dunlap [10:51]: "When we grow up and we're internalizing these narratives, what then starts to happen when women say, you know what? I am deserving of more money... Society then weaponizes that altruism."
Money Imprints: Childhood Memories Shaping Adult Finance
The hosts and Tori share personal anecdotes reflecting their earliest memories of money, illustrating how these experiences imprint lasting beliefs and behaviors. These stories reveal connections between childhood perceptions and adult financial habits, emphasizing the need to reframe our money narratives.
Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach [17:34]: "If rich men are powerful, rich women are conniving."
Strategies for Financial Health and Empowerment
Tori offers actionable strategies to help listeners transform their financial narratives:
- Un-Ostrich Yourself: Confront your financial situation head-on rather than avoiding it.
- Align Spending with Values: Redirect spending towards what truly brings joy and fulfillment.
- Automate Savings: Set up automatic transfers to build savings effortlessly.
These steps aim to replace guilt-driven spending with intentional financial management that supports personal well-being and future security.
Notable Quote:
Tori Dunlap [53:50]: "You can have both. You can take care of your finances, you can save money and you can invest and you can pay off your debt, and you can also have nice things."
Empowering Women Through Collective Support
A recurring theme is the importance of women supporting each other in their financial journeys. The hosts emphasize that building a community where women celebrate each other's successes rather than viewing them as threats is crucial for collective empowerment.
Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach [62:47]: "We are done with tearing down other women. We need to support each other."
Conclusion: Taking the First Step
In wrapping up, Tori encourages listeners to take proactive steps towards financial empowerment. Whether it's addressing financial fears, realigning spending with personal values, or automating savings, the path to financial health begins with a single, intentional action.
Notable Quote:
Tori Dunlap [53:50]: "Make it something you can look forward to, take out from your favorite restaurant, like have an actual date with your money."
Final Thoughts
This episode of We Can Do Hard Things serves as a crucial conversation starter about the often-taboo subject of money among women. With Tori Dunlap's insights and the hosts' empathetic facilitation, listeners are left with a profound understanding of their financial challenges and the tools to overcome them. The blend of personal stories, expert advice, and actionable strategies makes this episode an invaluable resource for anyone looking to redefine their relationship with money.
Resources Mentioned:
- Tori Dunlap's Book: Financial Feminist
- Podcast: Financial Feminist by Tori Dunlap
- Investing Platform: Treasury
Additional Recommendations:
For those intrigued by the themes discussed, We Can Do Hard Things offers future episodes that continue to explore various facets of life's challenges with honesty and support.