(BEST OF) Everyone Has a Beige Flag – What's Yours?

Summary

(BEST OF) Everyone Has a Beige Flag – What's Yours?

We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle
Release Date: July 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

This hilarious and heartfelt episode of We Can Do Hard Things is a celebration of the quirks that make us uniquely human. The hosts—Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle—dive into the social media trend of “beige flags”: those peculiar habits or traits we all have that aren’t red flags (bad) or green flags (good), but just... odd. The episode is filled with confessions of their own beige flags, reads from the “pod squad” and TikTok community, and a collective appreciation for the delightful weirdness of being human. Laughter, warmth, and comfort abound.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Beige Flags

• Origin & Evolution
  • Glennon introduces the trend: Not a red or green flag, but something in-between—odd, neutral quirks.
  • Amanda provides context: The original “beige flag” described boring, generic dating profiles (e.g., “I like petting puppies”).
  • Sissy (Amanda): Explains that over time, beige flags evolved from generic to charmingly odd habits that elicit a “huh, interesting” reaction.

    “It’s the thing that I just go, huh, you do that thing. And I can't really tell whether I should be compelled or repelled by that. It's just a real interesting thing.” (Sissy, 06:28)

2. Confessing Personal Beige Flags

• Abby’s Victorian Vocabulary

  • Glennon notes that Abby slips old-timey phrases into modern conversation.

    “It is as if she has been...in a Victorian, like...one of those lace necks or maybe you were in a suit, I don't know.” (Glennon, 08:48)

  • Abby jokes, “I think it might be some sort of, like, need to feel smarter. And I think that going into Victorian mode gives me this worldly sense. I don't know.” (Amanda, 09:17)

• John’s Obsessive Recycling

  • Sissy shares her husband John’s insistence on deep cleaning all recycling, questioning the environmental payoff (09:56–11:02).
  • Amanda defends the practice for its sustainability, but Sissy wonders about water usage, prompting a comic environmental debate.

• Glennon’s Outfit Changes

  • Amanda describes Glennon’s compulsion to change clothes 4–12 times daily, seeking ultimate comfort.

    “Her beige flag is when she comes in and asks, ‘Do I look comfortable?’” (Amanda, 11:19)

• Amanda’s Depression-Era Saving Mentality

  • Glennon and Abby joke about Amanda’s habit of saving Ziploc bags, food remnants, and old clothes.

    “...your commitment to saving things as if you experienced the Great Depression yourself.” (Glennon, 12:54)

  • Amanda laughs off an intervention about her “drawer of washed out Ziploc bags.” (14:37)

3. Listener & TikTok Beige Flags

The hosts review TikTok submissions highlighting the delightful randomness of others’ beige flags.

• Bug-Handling Rituals (20:12)

  • A wife petrified of bugs but won’t allow their death; the spouse must capture and release, sprinting far from the house.
  • Glennon relates, admitting to her hands-off, “paper towel out the door” bug removal method.

    “I will not kill it. I don't. I will not kill. I will not kill. But I also...I have to get it out of my hand as quickly as possible.” (Glennon, 21:29)

• Banana Phone Prank (23:28)

  • A girlfriend pretends her banana is a phone monthly: “Yellow!” The hosts are delighted.

• Windshield Wiper Delay (22:31)

  • A husband waits until the windshield is fully drenched before using the wipers for maximal satisfaction.

• Dead Weight Training (“Boulder!”) (24:31)

  • A boyfriend lays on top of his partner yelling “boulder” to “train her for survival.”
  • Abby relates: “Last month, Abby laid down on the ground, on the ground in our kitchen and wouldn’t move until I showed her that I could perform CPR on her…” (Glennon, 25:05)

• Not Saving Phone Numbers (27:17)

  • Glennon never saves contact names, resulting in awkward confusions:

    “For one year that I was conversing back and forth with Stacy London. ...No, I had Laura Perry saved as Stacy London. ...It’s very confusing. That’s how when I learned my lesson, you can save with the wrong person, so it’s better just to keep it a surprise.” (Glennon, 27:51)

• Untrue Random Facts (28:47)

  • A boyfriend invents plausible-sounding but false facts to amuse himself and his partner.

• Timer vs. Alarm (29:33)

  • Prefers setting a sleep timer to an alarm for waking up—provoking anxiety and debate.

• Present-Giving Impatience (33:47)

  • Can’t wait to give gifts; presents are delivered as soon as wrapped.

• Keeping Clothing Tags (34:36)

  • Leaves tags on everything “just in case” it needs returning—even after use.

• Self-Amused Jokester (39:07)

  • Laughs uncontrollably at own jokes, exclaiming, “I’m so funny.”

• Food Sharing in Motion (43:15)

  • Girlfriend insists on feeding partner across the car and during walks—often resulting in spillage.

• Silent Dinner Aversion (45:39)

  • Someone Googles quiz questions at dinner to avoid silence—hosts deem it sweet.

• “Announcer” Partner (46:04)

  • Must narrate every sensation/action (“My stomach growled!”), reminiscent of “court reporter” synopsis.

4. Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On the Universality of Quirks:

  “The thing about loving people is that eventually you realize nobody is normal. There is no normal. Every single one of us is out here doing something deeply strange and acting like it’s completely reasonable.” (Glennon, 00:17)

• Celebration of Absurdity:

  “People are so absurd and delightful... It is so fun to think about the quirky, not bad, not good things, that neutral, weird area of, ’huh?’” (Glennon, 47:28)

• On Owning Our Neutral Oddities:

  “There’s so many things that I’ve wasted so much time not being pissed about—like 6 plus 5 equals 11. I never thought to have an opinion on that. Not once.” (Sissy, 47:41)

• Endearing Family Tradition:

  • The compulsion to point out cows or horses when passing by on a car ride resurfaces:

    “We have to say cows. Horses. ...It was, like, so subconscious before.” (Amanda, 50:22–51:37)

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Notable Listener Submissions (with Timestamps)

• [20:12] Wife terrified of bugs, but they must be let go alive and far away.
• [22:31] Delayed windshield wiper use for satisfaction.
• [23:28] Banana as a phone prank, monthly.
• [24:31] “Boulder!”—forceful survival training via dead-weight plop.
• [27:17] Not saving phone contacts, leading to mistaken identities.
• [28:47] Random, untrue daily “facts.”
• [29:33] Timer instead of alarm for waking.
• [33:47] Gift impatience—presents never make it to the intended occasion.
• [34:36] Never removing product tags, even from items in use.
• [39:07] Laughs at own jokes and proclaims self-funniness.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:09] What are Beige Flags?
• [04:15] Origin of the Trend (Caitlin McPhail & Logan Ury)
• [07:55] The Pod Squad’s Own Beige Flags
• [08:48] Abby’s Victorian Quirk
• [09:56] John’s Recycling
• [11:19] Glennon’s Quest for Comfort
• [12:54] Amanda’s Depression-Era Saving
• [20:12] Listener and TikTok Beige Flags
• [34:36] Clothing Tag Confessions
• [47:28] The Power of Absurdity and Delight
• [50:06] Pod Squad Daily Delight: Spotting Colorful Cars
• [50:22] Family Beige Flag: Announcing Cows & Horses

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Episode Vibe & Tone

Bright, candid, and filled with joy—the hosts bounce between commiseration, gentle teasing, and genuine awe at humanity’s delightful oddness. Glimpses into their friendships and families add depth, finding humor in daily life’s strangeness.

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Closing Quote

“We love you, Pod Squad. I don’t know whether to say you’re welcome for this episode or we are sorry. Either way, we will see you next time.” (Glennon, 51:57)

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Final Thoughts

This episode hilariously reminds us: quirks are everywhere, and life is richer when we notice, accept, and even celebrate them. Everyone has a beige flag—what’s yours?

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Pod Squatters: Submit your beige flags! Call: 747-200-5307
Follow the podcast here

Transcript

[Glennon Doyle]

Hello, Pod Squad.

Today we're bringing back one of my favorite kinds of episodes. The ones that remind us how weird and wonderful people are. It's a good time to remember that. All right, y'.

[Abby]

All.

[Glennon Doyle]

You remember beige flags. A few years ago, the Internet couldn't

stop talking about this idea.

We all knew about red flags, the things that make you run. We knew about green flags, the things that make you stay. But beige flags. Beige flags are the quirky little habits in other people that make you pause, tilt your head, and think, huh, that's interesting. Not good, not bad. Just delightfully or disconcertingly baffling. The thing about loving people is that eventually you realize nobody is normal. There is no normal. Every single one of us is out here doing something deeply strange and acting like it's completely reasonable. These are beige flags. In this episode, Abby, Amanda, and I confess our own beige flags. You'll learn why I changed clothes approximately 17 times a day in pursuit of the mythical state known as comfortable that other people seem to be in and I never am. We also talk about why Amanda has never met a Ziploc bag she couldn't rewash, re. Rewash, re. Rewash, and save for later. And why Abby occasionally sounds like she arrived here directly from the 1800s. And then my favorite part, we read your beige flags, which remain some of the funniest things we have ever heard, including one that remind of Abby's own secret talent, turning random objects into phones like bananas. This conversation is bananas. It's ridiculous, joyful, and exactly the kind of reminder I need right now that beneath all the seriousness of being human, we are also just wonderfully weird little creatures trying our best. So let's celebrate the quirks today, the oddities, the beige flags. Please enjoy.

Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. I'm already giggling today. We are going to discuss today with you, our beloved POD Squad, the phenomenon, the trend of beige flags in relationships. Now, the idea of beige flags is something that has gained momentum on the TikTok probably nine months ago. Since we have now heard of it,

[Amanda]

it is now a past tense trend.

[Glennon Doyle]

Right, Right. It was a trend. The idea of a beige flag is you're in a relationship, whether it's a friendship. I think we're mostly discussing romantic relationships today. And you're watching the other person. You're monitoring, you're observing, you're getting to know this other person. Sometimes there are red flags. Okay, so a red flag might be if, like, your partner is Shady McShaderton, like, taking phone calls in the Other room doing, you know, problematic things. Red flags, green flags are things you're noticing your person is doing that are lovely and signal like, this person might be great in a relationship. Thoughtful things. Green flags, go, go, go. And then there are beige flags. My idea of a beige flag. And then I can see sister's face and what I think she's bursting at the seams to do. My guess would be that she's about to ruin beige flags for us by giving us the historical context of beige flags, which would be Sissy's beige flag. She knows everything for the feelers out there. In the New York Times article, they described it as a beige flag is simply something that would cause someone to take a three second pause and then continue the relationship. It's just a weird thing, a unique thing. Sissy, where did this idea of beige flags come from?

[Sissy]

Well, so I first heard it when we were talking to Logan urie in episode 219 where she was talking about it specifically in the context of online dating profiles. And apparently that is in 2022. This woman, Caitlin McPhail, on TikTok, she invented this term, beige flags. The original definition was when people lean into specifically online dating profiles, these generic things that are like, I like petting puppies, I like working out. It's this kind of thing that it doesn't offer any special information about the person.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's boring.

[Sissy]

It's boring, but it's, I feel like boring. Plenty of people are authentically boring and I feel like that's great, own your boring. But for me it kind of feels like it's like mealy, you know, like a mealy apple. You might not like apples, but either

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

be an apple or don't be an

[Sissy]

apple, but don't be a mealy soft apple.

[Amanda]

I kind of see beige flags is a little bit like not. There's no meaning to it. It's just like weird quirky things that people do that maybe you've done your whole life that make you them you. But like, there's no like additive or negative value to it.

[Sissy]

But it didn't start that way. It started specifically as not quirky, not interesting, not idiosyncratic.

[Amanda]

Okay?

[Sissy]

It started as people trying to be as unobjectionable in their dating profiles as possible. So if you listen to episode 219, what Logan's saying is you actually aren't trying to be everything for everyone. You are trying to just be the thing for the person who's supposed to be with you. So pleasing everyone fails everyone, including yourself. Because you're actually trying to weed people out by being your quirky self. So that's how Beige flag started in 2022 was just this mealy ass boring thing. And then people kind of, you know, took the flag and ran with it

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

and made it into.

[Sissy]

It's not the thing that most attracts me about the person. It's not the thing that repels me from the person. It's the thing that I just go, huh, you do that thing. And I can't really tell whether I should be compelled or repelled by that. It's just a real. It's a real interesting thing.

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, I like this definition better because the first one is just kind of like, I don't know, boring. Okay, here we go. Beige flags. We like to offer ourselves up first. So Abby and I did sit this morning and try to figure out beige flags for each other. And I will tell you, it's tricky. It is tricky to think of things about your partner or your friends that are not red or green, that are not good or bad, that aren't. That you don't love or dislike because you came up with like a ton of things. And I was like, no, those are red flags. Yeah, okay. But we did come up with a couple and then we have tons of. For that.

[Amanda]

The.

[Glennon Doyle]

That we have gotten from the TikTok.

[Amanda]

Yes. Okay.

[Sissy]

But we haven't seen them. So we asked Audrey from our team to go through and find what the TikTok was saying about the beige flag because we wanted to see them for the first time on this to see if they are funny or make us scared.

[Glennon Doyle]

I have one for Abby when we were first together and I read her first book for some background to look for red flags.

[Sissy]

Okay.

[Glennon Doyle]

I noticed this weird thing and I thought, this is so weird. Her editor must be really into like old fashioned language because it was almost like every once in a while you'd be reading a modern story about soccer and then there'd be like a Victorian word thrown in or something. And it just. And I was like, this editor is so weird. Like, why didn't they. Oh, no, no, no. That's just how Abby talks. It is as if she has been her in. In her past life. She was in the. In a Victorian, like. Like one of those lace necks or maybe you were in a suit, I don't know. But it'll be in the middle of a sentence and. And. And she'll be like, get in the car. We have to go to soccer. Like, go with it will just come out and I'm like, did you just say go with like it? It's as if when the program was changed to her new life, they forgot it was a glitch in the system. And there's some old Victorian language settings.

[Sissy]

Yeah, they didn't. They were like, we still have the Victorian fun all day. I've told you. And heretofore you have not listened to me.

[Glennon Doyle]

Exactly.

[Amanda]

I think it might be some sort of, like, need to feel smarter. And I think that going into Victorian mode gives me this worldly sense. I don't know.

[Sissy]

It is very bizarre Victorian. And I'm not even sure that's correct.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, we don't know. We don't know. We mean a time before now yonder your. She sounds like she's from yonder York. Okay. What I would say is that that does not feel like a red flag to me. It sure as hell doesn't feel like a green flag. But it makes me pause and go, huh?

[Sissy]

It's quirky. Yeah, it's quirky and cute. I have a John flag.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, good, good.

[Sissy]

John's beige flag is that he deep cleans every item in hot water and soap before he puts it in the recycling bin. And I'm just.

[Glennon Doyle]

It is.

[Sissy]

I just, hmm. Because I think to myself, I think, self, this is ostensibly for the environment, but is 16 gallons of hot potable water to rinse out a yogurt cup really unbalanced? Best for the environment.

[Amanda]

I'm gonna back John up right now because he knows something that I just learned the other day. When you put something in the recycling bin and it is not clean, they throw it in the trash.

[Sissy]

Again, I say to you, you're telling me the 16 gallons of hot drinkable water that people need throughout the universe,

[Amanda]

I can't speak to that. But are that might be the math

[Sissy]

on that is correct for the earth. I'd like to ask the Earth, would you rather have this recycled? Would you rather not waste your water? Potable water.

[Glennon Doyle]

Remember when John got all of his shirts dry cleaned and pressed and like starched and all the things in order to donate them? That was so sweet.

[Sissy]

I know he's very serious about this.

[Amanda]

I like that about John. I have another beige flag for you.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay.

[Amanda]

So you have a tendency to, like, Change your clothes 10, 12 times a day sometimes.

[Glennon Doyle]

That is true.

[Amanda]

And her beige flag, I could actually care less if she changes her clothes that much. Her beige flag is when she comes in and she asks me, do I look comfortable? And I say, I don't. I don't know if I can answer that. Like, are you comfortable?

[Glennon Doyle]

This is a woman who knows herself.

[Sissy]

This is an embodied woman. Do I look like I feel comfortable in my skin?

[Amanda]

That's exactly right.

[Sissy]

I'm sorry to ask, but do I appear unapologetic? Oh, my God.

[Glennon Doyle]

My whole life I'm just trying to get comfortable. And by the way, I need the potswide to understand I'm never going anywhere. Like, I change, and I think 12

[Amanda]

might be like, four times a day.

[Glennon Doyle]

Like four or five times. Okay, for sure.

[Sissy]

That's four more times than I change a day.

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, and you're probably also going places. Like, you leave the house a lot more than I do. All those changes are just. I don't know. I'm just trying to make it through the day. I'm just trying to get an outfit

[Sissy]

change away from being comfortable with my skin. I put on this sweater. This is going to do it.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's always just a sweat sweater, a sweatshirt, a different tank top, a different shorts.

[Amanda]

And if I get confirmation from my wife that I look comfortable, then I am.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, that is.

[Amanda]

That is where her true.

[Sissy]

I'm going to come to comfortable in this lifetime. Do I have beige flags or do my flags.

[Glennon Doyle]

We did think of one for you this morning. And that is your commitment to saving things as if you experienced the Great Depression yourself. Okay. It's. It's amazing.

[Amanda]

I've never known somebody to save, like, the amount that's at the end of your parmesan cheese bottle. And I'm like, oh, she just put it back. She didn't want to throw it out. No, no, no. She was going to use those ten measly crumbs.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes.

[Amanda]

On something.

[Glennon Doyle]

Or when she used to drink wine and we would open up our refrigerator in the morning, an entire wine glass would splash out because she had put a half drink glass of wine into the.

[Amanda]

Into the door. You know, the door part where it's very movable?

[Glennon Doyle]

Or she'll go to, like, a sporting event and, like, she'll have cool seats and they will have a buffet of food that she gets. So she takes food home.

[Amanda]

It's like Ross from Friends how he takes all this stuff from the hotel room. Do you do that?

[Glennon Doyle]

Are you like, oh, my God, Abby in her upstairs closet? Next time we go to her house, you're gonna go upstairs. You're gonna go to the little closet between her room and Bobby's room. It's not okay. All right. If a whole entire army of Smurfs came to her house, they Would have enough shampoo and conditioner for a generation because she has so many small bottles.

[Amanda]

What are you doing now that.

[Glennon Doyle]

What are you saving it for?

[Amanda]

Well, the hotels now are doing, like, the bigger bottles where you have to squeeze it into your hand like you

[Glennon Doyle]

bring it home and sack on a

[Sissy]

nice back spot forever.

[Glennon Doyle]

I'm set.

[Sissy]

Remember when I was moving and I thought you were gonna have an intervention with me because you found my drawer of washed out Ziploc bags?

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, my God.

[Sissy]

You were actually so upset about it.

[Amanda]

You were so upset.

[Glennon Doyle]

Washed out Ziploc bags to reuse them. I mean.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I mean, the.

[Glennon Doyle]

I think we may have crossed over to red flag.

[Amanda]

No, I mean, look, it's her. That's what she likes. Who fucking cares? It's not hurting us. I care a little bit, and it's also kind of saving the fucking environment. Like, I actually appreciate it.

[Sissy]

I got to make up for all that water that my husband's using.

[Amanda]

I want to be the kind of person, in some ways that, like, wants to feel like I should wash out the. The Ziploc bags.

[Sissy]

I'll tell you what saves a lot of money when, you know, speaking of trends, you're like, oh, now we're doing high rise jeans. So now. Well, don't worry, because I still have my jeans from 23 years ago. I'll just put them back on.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's not. Not true. That is the truest thing that you've said. You will look so trendy. But your jeans are from eighth grade.

[Sissy]

It's true. I did literally wear an outfit the other day. That was from 11th grade.

[Glennon Doyle]

No, she wore a dress somewhere a couple years ago, and I saw the picture. That dress is so pretty. And she said it was my ninth grade homecoming dress.

[Amanda]

What?

[Glennon Doyle]

She's moved 20 times.

[Amanda]

Like, how many storage units do you have?

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, don't get us started on storage units.

[Sissy]

Also, I don't have any storage units.

[Glennon Doyle]

But you used to.

[Amanda]

Oh, you have an attic now.

[Sissy]

And before everyone who's gotten divorced has had a storage unit.

[Glennon Doyle]

Right, right. It's a bit of a metaphor. This is not the episode where we try to get to the root of this. So I'm just gonna. I mean, we do want to ask

[Sissy]

what's happening with my hoarding cycle?

[Glennon Doyle]

Right. Can we. Maybe we should do an episode about, like, relationship to stuff and where it comes from.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Sissy]

And I. And I don't want to say hoarding, because hoarding is, like, an actual psychological issue, but there is something that's just below hoarding, which is what I do, which is just holding very tight items.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I feel like I have the opposite problem though.

[Glennon Doyle]

Same.

[Amanda]

I'm like, I just like new things and then.

[Sissy]

Which is why it's a problem. I get all your old things.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, she's usually wearing happy stuff.

[Amanda]

I'm like enabling your issue and you're also enabling mine.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Glennon Doyle]

Okay, let's hear from these lovely tiktokers about their beige flags. Here we go. This is from. They say my wife's beige flag is that she's absolutely petrified of bugs, but she also won't let me kill them. So whenever one gets in the house, I have to chase it around with a cup and a piece of paper to try to capture and release it. But she also makes me take it at least 500ft from the house. So I end up sprinting down the street with the captured bug while fighting

[Sissy]

the feeling that it escaped and is crawling all over me.

[Glennon Doyle]

I love Emily.

[Sissy]

That person is.

[Glennon Doyle]

I get that. I feel like these are green flags on both their parts. Green and green and green. They are living correctly to me.

[Amanda]

Yeah. I always feel so bad when I kill the spider.

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, you shouldn't do that.

[Amanda]

But I'm so scared. How do you overcome the scare, the

[Sissy]

fear with a piece of paper.

[Glennon Doyle]

Tell sister why there's so many paper towels on our front porch.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Jesus.

[Amanda]

I go outside and like some days, like the water, the sprinklers will go off. So now this piece of paper is totally eroded into, like, a mushy pile of. Ugh. Well, anytime I go out there, I know that Glennon has found some sort of insect. Gotten it. And then just opened the front door and thrown the paper towel outside because

[Glennon Doyle]

I will not kill it. I don't. I will not kill. I will not kill. But I also. It can't be responsive. I can't. I have to get it out of my hand as quickly as possible.

[Sissy]

So you take a paper towel, you sort of capture it around your hand in the paper towel, and then you eject the paper towel from the house.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. Which I guess is just littering again. I'm saving a life, but kind of.

[Amanda]

I know. But it's like this funny game that you and the spider have. I think the 500ft away from the house is the right move because the spider's like, oh, I was here last week. And then it crawls back into the house. And then she does this whole charade, like, the next week.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, I haven't gotten brave enough for what this person says. I haven't done the sprinting and screaming and going 500ft. I might need to try that.

[Amanda]

That would be an amazing visual. It's just Glennon Doyle running down the street with a freaking paper towel filled with.

[Sissy]

Yeah. Emily, the next time this happens, can you please record running down the street? Because I think that that's what we deserve to see.

[Glennon Doyle]

We really do.

[Amanda]

All right, let's.

[Sissy]

Okay, this next one is Katie Cappelli. And they say my husband's beige flag is that he waits until the last possible second to use his wind wipers. When it starts to rain, he will let the entire windshield cover with droplets until it's almost fully covered and then manually turn wind wiper on. This continues for the full ride.

[Glennon Doyle]

I think I know why. Because it's so satisfying. You know when it's, like, a bunch of water and then it goes swish all at once and a bunch goes off at the same time? It's satisfying.

[Amanda]

I don't know about that. I like to be able to see through the window. Well, yeah, 100% of the time.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

This is a good.

[Sissy]

Sort of like our obsession, Abby, with beating the gps. Yeah. Is it, like, how few wipes do I need to make it through this ride safely?

[Amanda]

Yeah, maybe. Ugh.

[Sissy]

I don't know.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's gotta be scary for the passenger.

[Amanda]

It is.

[Sissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Okay, so this is posted by the Zombie Slayer. My girlfriend's actual beige flag is that once every month she'll get a banana for lunch. And after I've let my guard down, she'll frantically search for her phone, freak out, ask me to call it, because she can't find it. And when I do, she'll pick up the banana instead. It'd be like, yellow, and I fall for it every time. I hate banana phone. Oh, my God.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, my God.

[Amanda]

Yellow.

[Sissy]

Yellow.

[Glennon Doyle]

That is such a green flag.

[Amanda]

It's gold to me every time.

[Glennon Doyle]

You keep that one. That is a keeper. That is a keeper. Who understands the absurdity of life.

[Sissy]

Let my guard down.

[Amanda]

And she does it once every month.

[Sissy]

Yellow. Yellow. Just freaking out.

[Glennon Doyle]

You just queen her. You just queen her. My boyfriend's beige flag is he does this Thing where he will randomly lay directly on top of me, completely dead weight, and yell boulder. And makes me push him off to, quote, train me for survival. He does not move for any reason at all. The only way out from under the boulder is to push him off myself.

[Amanda]

Oh, my gosh. At Kayleigh Apple, we love this.

[Glennon Doyle]

To dream survival. Survival. Last month, Abby laid down on the ground, on the ground in our kitchen and wouldn't move until I showed her that I could perform CPR on her

[Amanda]

and move me around and move her around. I was just dead weight. Because if I go down, I think I'm a goner.

[Glennon Doyle]

I do, too.

[Sissy]

Yeah, I do, too.

[Glennon Doyle]

I do. I'm sorry about that.

[Amanda]

I think I'm a goner. I like to have to prepare. I just ordered an AED machine just in case I go down, so she has some sort of tool to help revive me back to life.

[Glennon Doyle]

I was freaking out even during this simulation. She's like, I don't know what to do.

[Amanda]

I was, like, crouched over and I'm like, you gotta move me. Like, put me on my back. She's like, I can't. You're too heavy. And I'm like, I am. So now I'm gonna, like, I'm gonna get one of those buttons that she. Or like one of those bracelets like that.

[Sissy]

Like the 99 year old.

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Sissy]

No.

[Amanda]

But I told her.

[Glennon Doyle]

I told her I think I'd be able to do it if I knew this was real, because I think I've heard people get superhuman adrenaline. So I think. I think I could do it if it's real. Okay.

[Sissy]

Might want to practice the boulder. I don't know. All right. Okay. The Becca Murray. My partner's beige flag is that whenever I lose something and ask if he's seen it, he looks at me quizzically and hesitantly explains that the thing I'm looking for died 40 years ago. For example, have you seen my phone? I don't know where I put it down. Phone. Extended pause and worried. Look. Phone died 40 years ago.

[Glennon Doyle]

People are so wonderful. People are so wonderful. That's wonderful. Okay, your turn.

[Amanda]

All right. KateAustin, my wife's beige flag is that she thinks reels are funny and absolutely refuses to download TikTok. She constantly shows me videos that were viral on TikTok two months ago like they're brand new material. This is literally what our children say to us because we don't watch TikTok.

[Glennon Doyle]

This is literally what we're doing. This is what we're doing now.

[Sissy]

Kate Austin, inspired by your wife is this episode.

[Glennon Doyle]

She's gonna love this episode.

[Amanda]

Another beige flag of Glennon's is that she gets a phone number or somebody calls her or texts her, but she just doesn't. She doesn't save them.

[Glennon Doyle]

No, Never.

[Amanda]

She doesn't ever.

[Sissy]

I'm telling you, she has five people saved in her phone. Every other person is just like, well, can't be known who's calling me.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

And so the amount of times she's like, hey, can you type this phone number into your ph so that when I type it in, it comes up and she is like, oh, so that is who it is. And yet still does not go ahead and save that person's name to the phone number attached.

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, I learned my lesson right now is when I admit to you that for one year. All right, Laura Perry. She is probably listening. I love you, Laura. Okay. I thought for one year that I was conversing back and forth with Stacy London. Okay, Stacy London, right. Stacy London emails me and says, how are you? I haven't talked for so long. And I was like, what do you mean we were texting for a year. No, I had Laura Perry saved as Stacy London. So I have been having a friendship with so both of them. Anyway, it's very confusing. That's how when I learned my lesson, you can save with the wrong person, so it's better just to keep it a surprise.

[Amanda]

Oh my gosh.

[Sissy]

I kth wang my boyfriend's beige flag is that he'll casually tell me the random facts throughout the day that aren't even true. Hey, did you know that the reason ripples on waves exist is because of the sensitivity of water to tectonic movements? Oh, really? Ha.

[Glennon Doyle]

That was a lie.

[Sissy]

Like, then he'll proceed to laugh to himself, proud that he succeeded to fool me.

[Glennon Doyle]

Dad used to do that. Remember when he swear to us that spam was called spam because they used it in the Spanish American War?

[Sissy]

Yeah, I think half the things that I think are lies.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. My boyfriend's beige flag is that he sets timers instead of alarms. It's midnight and he needs to wake up at six. He'll set a six hour timer.

[Amanda]

Oh my God.

[Glennon Doyle]

I bet his brain just works differently. Like he needs to think of it not in terms of time but in terms of hours. That makes sense to me.

[Amanda]

Well, just real quick, before you go to sleep, does everybody here count how many hours before they're going to wake up? Like how many they're going to Get.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Sissy]

And then I lay there and, well, that's because you're always going to get like 35 hours if you don't go to sleep now, Doyle, if you don't, oh my God, now it's six and a half now. Oh, now it's five. Now it's go to bed. And then I just berate myself. I get so anxious that then the time keeps going down. Then I get more anxious and that's how I live happily and balanced.

[Glennon Doyle]

Red flag.

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[Sissy]

Jen Fricker says my boyfriend's beige flag is that he cannot wait to give a present as soon as it's wrapped. He is telling you what it is. If your birthday is next week and he has the present now. You're getting it now.

[Amanda]

Oh, I can't handle it either. I can't handle it. I don't know what that is about. This is at J Dubs 22 my girlfriend's beige flag. She drinks two, maybe three sips of her iced coffee that she can't start her day without. Small, medium, large, doesn't matter. Two to three sips. She'll carry it around for two hours. No additional sips. 85% full. Why'd we get her a venti? No idea. Only two, three sips.

[Glennon Doyle]

She likes the feel of it. It's tethering her to the earth. Okay. It's helping her have gravity. Yes.

[Sissy]

Yep. Collins app 4. This one is a person after my own heart. My wife's beige flag is that she keeps tags on everything just in case she wants to return it. Pillows we bought a year ago. Still has tags. Patio furniture tags still intact.

[Abby]

Yes.

[Sissy]

I feel like it's important to cover yourself. You never. You don't want to over commit.

[Glennon Doyle]

Me too. A lot of times people will be like, oh my gosh, your tag's still on. Whatever. And then I have to pretend that it was an accident and I'll go

[Amanda]

Oh, no, it's not an accident.

[Glennon Doyle]

No, I. Sometimes I just. It feels like such a commitment. You know how I return a lot of things.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I know, but, like, after the second wear, isn't it.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Amanda]

Just after first wear.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. You know when you're like, I don't know. Well, we have.

[Sissy]

She's just wearing it, you know, it's her 6,000 for the day. I'm wearing 25.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Sissy]

She has to make sure she looks comfortable. I feel this way. I do the same thing. If I have a shirt with a stain on it and I put it on, but I, like, really like the shirt that I just wear it. And then the first time someone says, oh, you gotta stain, I say, oh. Like, I pretend I didn't. Like, it just happened.

[Glennon Doyle]

I do that with watches. I have two watches. Neither of them have ever worked. Not one time. I've never set them. Never.

[Amanda]

I mean, they work. You just have never set them.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay, well, isn't that. The important part of working is that clock tells the time.

[Amanda]

Yeah, but they're automatic watches, so you actually have to set them every time.

[Sissy]

She's saying they're not broken, I'm saying they're not broken. And you're saying functionally they are.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, but I still wear them all the time. And then when anyone asks me what time it is, I look at my watch and go, oh. Because I can't say I don't use my watch for that.

[Sissy]

Cassandrapolumbo. My partner's beige flag is that he doesn't put his phone on silent mode throughout the night because he's scared. It means his morning alarm won't go off no matter how many times I tell him or secretly do it and it still goes off. He just won't risk it. And I have to be consistently woken up all night by all of his notifications. Oh, that's terrible.

[Amanda]

That's horrible.

[Sissy]

That's. That's an example of maybe not beige flag. Because I feel like what beige flags are. Are. They are not objectionable. Right?

[Glennon Doyle]

That's objectionable.

[Sissy]

It's objectionable.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. But then you also have sympathy, because maybe he has some, like, major anxiety around things.

[Sissy]

But it doesn't mean that it's not objectionable. Her ass is getting woken up all night long.

[Amanda]

Just test it out.

[Sissy]

Also, it's verifiable.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Sissy]

Test viable that that will work.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Test it on your phone so that he can, for one night, that it will still work and then he will turn them off.

[Sissy]

But I feel like Cassandra. I mean, she's tried a lot of things. I don't think it's the lack of trying logical explanations that Cassandra's still waking up all night every night.

[Glennon Doyle]

This is not about logic. Okay? My boyfriend's beige flag is that he thinks he's a Waze influencer.

[Sissy]

I was like, you never thought they were.

[Glennon Doyle]

He works it. There is no cop. He makes note traffic. He'll confirm it's there. Stuck in dead stop traffic. He writes funny notes to everyone else. He gets really excited when people like his notes. He got 114 likes on a note the other day.

[Sissy]

It was a big deal.

[Glennon Doyle]

He would rather use a paper map than Apple or Google Maps. This man is loyal.

[Amanda]

Oh, Anna Redmond feels like public service influence.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, Anna Redmond.

[Sissy]

He's like, you know, this is the future TikTok. Influencers be damned. The ways influencer is the one of the future. Get this guy a contract.

[Glennon Doyle]

Super helpful.

[Amanda]

I've always wondered, like, when it shows up, like, still here or whatever. I'm always like, who's touching that?

[Sissy]

Yeah, well, I'll tell you who is Anna's boyfriend. And apparently you get, like, preferential treatment or some kind of points. I just learned about this. And so if you click this still there, somehow you know it's taking you

[Amanda]

the best, fastest route you're tracking.

[Sissy]

No, no, no, no. But you're somehow you're getting. You're getting the equity, the social equity. Okay, something's happening that's good for you. Oh, my God. That's good stuff. I love it. All right, here we go. This is Natro. My girlfriend's beige flag is that she laughs so hard at her own jokes like she just invented comedy. She is her own entertainment. This girl will be tearing up by herself nonstop and will end with a I'm so funny. Even by just bringing up her beige flag, she will giggle.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, that's sweet.

[Sissy]

That's actually lovely.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. Enjoying your own company. Green flag.

[Sissy]

I am so funny.

[Amanda]

All right.

[Sissy]

Get a kick out of me.

[Glennon Doyle]

Get a real kick out of me. Okay. My partner's beige flag. They refuse to charge their phone until it dies. 5%. 5%. Just wait until it's dead to plug it in. Doesn't matter if there's a cord right there. It's not being charged.

[Amanda]

That is good. That is a beige flag for sure.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

And that is by rlfleabag.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay.

[Sissy]

Dumpling Kingdom.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

My cat.

[Sissy]

My cat. Oh, we're doing cats now? My cat's beige flag is that she only Stays calm in the car. If I meow the national anthem.

[Glennon Doyle]

I'm so glad this is a cat, because when my eyes went down to this one, I didn't see the cat part, so I thought this was someone's partner that needed to be meowed. The national anthem.

[Sissy]

So that's good, whatever you're into.

[Amanda]

Can you guys. Can you guys try to meow the national anthem?

[Glennon Doyle]

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Like that.

[Amanda]

I just couldn't figure it out, how to do it. And he did it so easily.

[Sissy]

I would like to look at her up because maybe she does it with a little more gusto. Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, wait. It says that they have a video if you want to see it. On the TikTok of her meowing to the tune of the national anthem while their cat sleeps in their lap. That has 6.5 million views. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

[Amanda]

All right, so at smelly belly, my husband's beige flag is that every time I'm watching my own show, he will join in and watch an episode, then proceed to call it our show, which means I cannot watch it without him. I have zero shows that I can watch on my own. This smelly belly, Bella Moncada. This is upsetting to me. This feels like a red flag.

[Sissy]

Out of all of them, this is what you're picking?

[Amanda]

Yes, because he can't just, like, sit down and claim that now it's our show.

[Glennon Doyle]

Right.

[Amanda]

That has to be mutually agreed upon.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay, all right. Red flag, red flag. I think it's sweet that he wants to watch all the shows with her.

[Amanda]

I don't know if he wants to, because he would have done it from the beginning.

[Glennon Doyle]

Could be a little controlling. Okay, all right. My boyfriend's beige flag is that he hates. He hates the number 11, specifically the fact that 6 plus 5 equals 11. He says that 6 and 5 are just too good of numbers to simply equal 11. And it really bothers him that the number that these two super cool numbers total up to is just 11th. And it's anticlimactic and unsatisfying to him for some reason. I understand this because I think it's very unsatisfying that Chicago is a city inside of a state called Illinois. I feel like Illinois should be a city and Chicago should be a state. It's wrong. So I understand this and like this dude a lot. Not a lot. Of people give that much respect to things like this.

[Amanda]

This is from faith at not faith core.

[Sissy]

I can get behind that. 6 and 5 are cool numbers. I wonder why 11 is so decidedly objectionable.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, I don't know. But you know what? To me, it feels so satisfying. Six plus five equals eleven. That's a good. Eleven's a good combination of six plus five.

[Amanda]

I don't think so. I think five is a terrible number.

[Glennon Doyle]

What?

[Amanda]

Six is also like.

[Abby]

I knew.

[Sissy]

I knew that people had such.

[Amanda]

I'm like, the opposite of this guy. I feel like 11 is wonderful. How could 11 be consumed by this? Five and six. Oh, okay.

[Sissy]

All right. This is amazing. This one is at Clarify for me. My girlfriend's beige flag is. She will make absolute messes trying to feed me all of her food, Afraid her to go in the car. All of her trust on a plastic fork, trying to get it across my console while I'm driving. She's tried feeding me meatloafs and red sauce with a spoon across our fresh, clean, ready to stain bed sheets. Ice cream. You know, that cone's coming at me a million times an hour while we are walking. I would say 50% of the shared food is on the floor of my car now.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, she just has an experience, and it's so good that she's desperate for her partner to experience it, too. Regardless of how it happens.

[Sissy]

That's ice cream. You know, that cone's coming at me a million miles an hour while we are walking.

[Amanda]

That's good. All right, so this is Mike Gottschalk. My girlfriend's beige flag is that she doesn't know her left and rights, but also has a GPS in her brain. You could drop her in the Amazon with nothing and she'd find her way out in 30 minutes. But if you tell her to turn left, she has to take five and make an L shape with her hands to figure it out. Oh, my gosh. I mean, I feel like I do that still. I'm all.

[Glennon Doyle]

Me, too.

[Amanda]

Okay. Left. Yeah, this is the left side.

[Glennon Doyle]

An idea I had for an invention is that I think they should make yoga pants that have an L and an R on the bottom. Because the yoga instructors always say, lift your left foot or your right foot. But it's so confusing because, I don't know. I'm not like, that's not automatic. Left and right are not automatic for me. I can tell that for most people they are, but it's not automatic. Takes me a minute. And also, the teacher's looking at you It's a mirror effect.

[Sissy]

Yeah, they're opposite.

[Amanda]

Yep. Yeah, that's confusing.

[Sissy]

And also, it's always like, don't be thinking. Be in your body. Don't be in your brain. But then they give you a pop quiz every 30 seconds. It's like calculus. Right arm, left leg.

[Abby]

And I'm like.

[Sissy]

I'm like, but you just told me specifically, I didn't have to be in my brain.

[Glennon Doyle]

Exactly. So I do think that that would be good. If anyone wants to make that L

[Sissy]

and R. Remember when I thought that we were all going to get really rich because I had an incredible new idea for an invention of a mirror app? And then I realized that everyone had a camera on their phone? I was like, I cannot believe this doesn't exist.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, that's good. Okay. My fiance's beige flag is that he doesn't like to eat dinner in silence. He will Google couples questions or relationships quiz and ask me the most random yet intimate questions in a room full of people as if we're in our own world.

[Amanda]

Naya Hurt. That's why. Naya. It's good.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's really sweet, actually. Green flag. Oh, God.

[Sissy]

Cody.

[Glennon Doyle]

Ev.

[Sissy]

My girlfriend's beige flag is that she announces everything. Her stomach just growled. I have to know dinner is ready. She's telling me. She has to tell me, like, it's the most important thing in the world. She's cold. She's calling me to let me know her FaceTime calls are just a daily news report.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God.

[Sissy]

I like the news report.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's so true.

[Sissy]

Some people like to tell you everything. John. Another beige flag he has is. I'll be like, well, how'd the conversation go? He'll be like, okay, well, I said. And then they said. And then I said, and then. And then you just repeats. Just repeats the conversation verbatim.

[Amanda]

And I'm like, huh?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

That's it.

[Sissy]

So it's like, basically, you're. You're giving me a transcript, then so then really not a synopsis, like a. Like, next time, maybe like an executive summary of the conversation. Not like, you know, court reporter.

[Glennon Doyle]

Because then what has to happen is you really have to decide how that conversation. Conversation. Based on the full report,

[Amanda]

you have

[Glennon Doyle]

to draw the conclusions that you were actually asking for. Okay. I just have to say this. This whole idea, I think, is going to help me. People are so absurd and delightful.

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, it is so fun to think about the quirky, not bad, not good things, that neutral, weird area of.

[Abby]

Huh?

[Glennon Doyle]

It's a good place To. To be with people.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Sissy]

Also, it's a new opportunity. There's so many things that I've wasted so much time not being pissed about. Like 6 plus 5 equals 11. I never thought to have an opinion on that. Not once.

[Glennon Doyle]

I have a lot of them about cities and states. If you want to know when I did give the. The first speech to my family about how it's obnoxious that Chicago is not a state, but Illinois, as if anyone's ever heard of that, is a state. You know, everyone's heard of Chicago. So anyway, Abby was looking at me at the table like she's looking at me right now in a little bit of embarrassment and disdain. And one of my kids goes, exactly. I have always thought that. All right, before we close Pod Squatters. Also, feel free to call in your beige flags.

[Amanda]

Yeah, call in 747-200-5307.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, if nothing else, just to make us laugh a lot, but we realized last week that we forgot to do Pod Squatters of the week for a year and a half. So that's our beige flag. So we are back with a Pod

[Sissy]

Squatter of the week after episode 217 where we were talking about our daily delights. Carolyn called in with her daily delight. So if you haven't checked out that amazing episode 2 17, do that for

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

a whole hour of delight.

[Glennon Doyle]

Great.

[Abby]

This is Carolyn. I am a suburban mom, and I'm always in the car with my two kids. They are 6 and 4, and they are so delighted by any car that is not white, black, gray. I mean, if they see, like, a purple car or, like a green car, I mean. I mean, I just. I get, like, a shout from the back. Purple car, purple car, pink car. I mean, it's just. And it's like the delight has, like, spilled over to me. So even when I'm, like, alone in the car and I see a purple car, I'm like, you know, it's like, I just get so delighted now by all the bright colored cars on the road. Maybe you'll spot some bright colored cars now while you're driving around. All right, love you. Keep up the good work. Bye.

[Glennon Doyle]

So sweet. I'd like to end with a beige flag that I think we all have, because you and I got in a little debate about this. I think it's precious that all of us, if we are in a car and we pass by cows.

[Amanda]

Oh, my gosh.

[Glennon Doyle]

Or horses. We have to say cows. Horses. Okay.

[Sissy]

I just say move.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay, well, something you have to acknowledge the existence of cows. And Abby told me that's not true. People go buy cows all the time and never. So this was like, a couple years ago. So we're in the car, then the time after this conversation debate, we're passing a herd of cows, and we are in a game of silenced chicken.

[Sissy]

Don't say don't.

[Glennon Doyle]

Do.

[Abby]

Don't.

[Glennon Doyle]

And I'm like. And I can feel the energy. She knows how wrong it is that no one's yelling cow. She knows it, but she can't. But she can't say it because then

[Sissy]

it will make me, right?

[Glennon Doyle]

And so we are, I don't know, a half mile past the cows. I'm feeling like we broke a law of the. Of the universe. And she goes, cows.

[Amanda]

Did you see the cows? You saw those cows?

[Sissy]

God, what the hell is that?

[Amanda]

I was like, I don't say that. That is just not true for me. And it is true for me. And now I'm like. Like cows. I'm surprised by myself. It was, like, so subconscious before.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's like the Color Purple thing. It's like this has got off. If you see a herd of cows and you don't yell moo.

[Abby]

Or cow.

[Amanda]

Is it herd of cows?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, gaggle.

[Amanda]

It's a herd.

[Glennon Doyle]

A school of cows.

[Amanda]

It's a herd.

[Sissy]

A murder of cows.

[Amanda]

You.

[Sissy]

It's a murder of crows.

[Glennon Doyle]

I know, that's weird. That's really weird.

[Sissy]

I feel like, of all the animals, really, crows. I mean, I get, like, a murder of hippos.

[Glennon Doyle]

No. Crows are scary. Yeah, they look. They're scary. They look like they're about to murder. They really do. They're suspicious as. Okay. We love you, Pod Squad. I don't know whether to say you're welcome for this episode or we are sorry. Either way, we will see you next time. We are proud to say that We Can Do Hard Things is an independent production brought to you by us, TREAT Media. Treat Media makes art for humans who want to stay human. And you can follow us at. We Can Do Hard Things on Instagram.