Summary of "Cameron Esposito: How to Save Your Damn Self (Best Of)" Episode We Can Do Hard Things Podcast | Released March 2, 2025

Introduction

In this heartfelt and candid episode of We Can Do Hard Things, hosts Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach engage in an in-depth conversation with comedian, actor, and author Cameron Esposito. The discussion delves into Cameron's personal journey navigating gender identity, the challenges of being a queer individual in the entertainment industry, the power of friendship, and the path to forgiveness and healing. Through laughter, tears, and profound insights, the trio explores what it truly means to confront and embrace life's hardest moments.

Guest Background: Cameron Esposito

Cameron Esposito is introduced as a multifaceted artist—a queer, gender non-conforming stand-up comic, actor, writer, and host. Known for her headlining tours, roles in television and film, and her popular podcast Query, Cameron brings a wealth of experience and vulnerability to the conversation.

[04:44] Abby Wambach: "Cameron Esposito is a queer gender non-conforming standup comic, actor, writer..."

Childhood and Gender Identity

Cameron opens up about her early experiences with gender non-conformity. From a young age, she grappled with understanding her identity, often feeling neither fully aligned with being a girl nor entirely detached from it. Her childhood included moments of navigating traditional gender roles, such as auditioning for male roles in school plays, which led to significant internal and external conflicts.

[06:27] Cameron Esposito: "I think there is something going on because I can place people who are like me, so there's something going on."

Cameron recounts how societal pressures and early bullying influenced her perception of self, setting the stage for her future endeavors in comedy as a coping mechanism.

Comedy as a Coping Mechanism

For Cameron, comedy became a sanctuary—a space where she could express her true self amidst adversity. Performing stand-up allowed her to channel her pain and experiences into humor, providing both relief and a sense of control. However, she reflects on the limitations of this approach, especially during personal struggles such as her divorce, which led her to question the sustainability of relying solely on humor for emotional survival.

[24:17] Cameron Esposito: "I got super funny. And actually I have in the last couple of years like really wondered about the long term viability of that skill set..."

Body Image and Self-Perception

The conversation shifts to Cameron's complex relationship with her body. She discusses the dichotomy between her outward appearance and internal identity, highlighting struggles with body dysmorphia and the societal expectations placed upon her as a woman. Cameron shares her strategies for reconciling these aspects, such as tailored suits, makeup, and physical activities that help her feel more grounded and authentic.

[12:55] Cameron Esposito: "I have a very complicated relationship with my body... I'm feeling like a confusing presence."

Cameron emphasizes the importance of physical expression and how engaging in hobbies like running, swimming, and dance classes serves as a bridge between her internal self and external presentation.

Friendship and Connection

A significant portion of the episode centers on the value of genuine friendships. Cameron and Abby discuss their mutual realization of the need to move beyond performing for the public and fostering authentic, supportive relationships. They explore the challenges of vulnerability and the transformative power of connecting deeply with others.

[26:50] Abby Wambach: "It's important. It was like you and I figured out that, like, oh, we just take our trauma and pain and then we spin it up and then we serve it to lots of people."

Cameron shares her personal rule of not sharing anything online or on stage without first discussing it with someone she trusts, highlighting her commitment to authentic interpersonal connections.

Forgiveness and Healing

The trio delves into the theme of forgiveness, particularly Cameron's journey towards forgiving the Catholic Church for past traumas. She recounts her experiences in Jesuit College, the shifting beliefs that led her away from the church, and her eventual return to engage in theology classes as an adult seeking closure and understanding.

[54:22] Abby Wambach: "It's like the antidote to the bite has to have some of the poison from the bite in it to heal it."

Cameron explores the nuanced nature of forgiveness—not as absolving wrongdoing but as a means to liberate oneself from the burdens of resentment and anger.

[55:23] Cameron Esposito: "I think forgiveness is... directional to me, and so I will no longer live that way towards you. Like, I'm gonna move onward."

Current Projects and Hobbies

Cameron discusses her current endeavors beyond comedy, including her roles in television and her ongoing personal development. She highlights the importance of physical activities in maintaining her mental and emotional well-being, mentioning running, swimming, dance classes, and even theological studies during the pandemic.

[35:01] Cameron Esposito: "I love my hobbies. I run. I have a running partner... I take dance classes, which is really cool and new for me."

These hobbies not only provide structure but also serve as avenues for self-expression and connection with others.

Conclusion: Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity

The episode culminates in a touching exchange of gratitude and love among the hosts and Cameron. They emphasize the importance of vulnerability, authenticity, and the courage to confront and discuss life's hardest challenges openly. The conversation underscores the podcast's mission—to foster a community where individuals can share their struggles and support one another in living more freely and courageously.

[65:06] Glennon Doyle: "You don't get to be a part of this community if you're this or that... So I love that, that maybe one day I could find forgiveness in my heart."

[65:43] Abby Wambach: "We love you. We love you too."

Notable Quotes

• Cameron Esposito [06:27]: "I think there is something going on because I can place people who are like me, so there's something going on."

• Cameron Esposito [12:55]: "I have a very complicated relationship with my body... I'm feeling like a confusing presence."

• Cameron Esposito [26:50]: "I have a rule I made for myself. I don't bring something to the Internet or to stage that I haven't told someone else."

• Cameron Esposito [55:23]: "I think forgiveness is... directional to me, and so I will no longer live that way towards you. Like, I'm gonna move onward."

Final Thoughts

This episode of We Can Do Hard Things offers a profound exploration of identity, resilience, and the human capacity for growth and healing. Cameron Esposito's openness about her struggles and triumphs serves as an inspiring testament to the podcast's ethos: that by embracing our vulnerabilities and forging genuine connections, we can navigate life's most challenging moments with grace and courage.