Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things – Kristen Press: How to Get Your Bliss Back (Best Of) Release Date: January 1, 2025
Introduction and Guest Background
In this episode of We Can Do Hard Things, host Glennon Doyle welcomes Kristen Press, a two-time World Cup champion, Olympian, entrepreneur, and advocate for inclusivity. Kristen, known for her role as a forward for the Los Angeles Angel City FC, joins Glennon Doyle, her wife Abby Wambach, and Glennon's sister Amanda Doyle to discuss her journey through the highs and lows of a professional soccer career, personal growth, spirituality, and activism.
Early Career and Challenges in Soccer
Kristen begins by sharing her early experiences growing up in Southern California, a competitive hub for women's soccer. As a middle child in a high-pressure family environment, Kristen explains, "Soccer was the way that I thought I was going to [gain] that [parental] attention" ([07:31]). The relentless pursuit of greatness in a toxic and pressure-ridden environment led her to question her self-worth, which was tied directly to her performance on the field. Kristen recounts, "The better I got, the worse it was for me" ([10:40]).
Turning Point: Embracing Meditation
A pivotal moment in Kristen's life was observing her sister's struggle with mental illness and her subsequent turn to meditation. Kristen describes her first encounter with meditation: "I walked into the hotel room, and you were on the bed with your back straight up against the headboard, and your eyes were closed" ([03:09]). This inspired her to adopt a meditation practice, which transformed her approach to both life and sport. She explains, "The meditative nature of letting things go... was like a breath of fresh air" ([11:52]).
Joining the National Team: Staying True to Herself
While in Sweden, Kristen received a call-up to the U.S. Women's National Team from a coach who noticed her dedication. Reflecting on this unexpected opportunity, Kristen shares, "It was the scenic route to the National Team" ([12:09]). Determined to remain authentic, she faced social challenges, stating, "I have to be me, that kind of put a divide between me and a lot of people off the field" ([12:16]).
Spirituality and Redefining Suffering
Kristen delves into her philosophy on suffering and discipline. She asserts, "There's a fine line between discipline and suffering" ([43:57]). Kristen believes that accepting and integrating spirituality into her athletic life allows her to transform suffering into discipline, fostering a state of bliss and flow during her performance. She emphasizes the importance of finding joy in the process rather than fixating solely on outcomes: "I can actively work towards a flow state where playing soccer would be the most blissful and joyous thing that I ever did" ([43:52]).
Grieving and Evolving Relationship with Her Mother
A significant portion of the conversation focuses on Kristen's relationship with her mother and her unique process of grieving. After her mother's sudden illness and passing, Kristen shares how she redefined their relationship beyond the confines of soccer: "My mom already accepted me... I have this relationship with my mom that's growing" ([38:15]). She describes her grueling career during her mother's illness and how she eventually realized the need to cultivate a relationship independent of her athletic achievements.
Activism and Justice Work
Kristen's commitment to activism, particularly in the realm of gender and racial justice, is a central theme. She discusses her role in the Equal Play Equal Pay campaign, highlighting how collective action within the U.S. Women's National Team led to substantial changes: "We have such a huge value in our market. Why aren't we being compensated that way?" ([60:13]). Kristen ties her inner work and spirituality to her activism, stating, "I believe that in order to help others be well, you must be well yourself" ([51:41]).
Boundary Setting in Personal Relationships
Kristen emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries to maintain personal well-being. She shares a profound example of a relationship where she limits interactions to daylight hours to protect her emotional safety: "I have revolutionized my boundaries... It allows me to love them" ([59:02]). This boundary-setting practice exemplifies her ability to balance love and self-preservation.
Reflection on Equal Pay Settlement and Legacy
Reflecting on the 2015 Ticker Tape Parade, Kristen connects it to the subsequent Equal Pay settlement. She recalls the joyous yet eye-opening experience: "There was no hiding our value because there was thousands of people throwing tiny pieces of paper at us" ([60:13]). Kristen acknowledges the responsibility of carrying the torch forward: "We are handed this torch and you carry it as hard, like, as high and as far as you can" ([63:14]).
Final Thoughts and Advice
Kristen offers heartfelt advice on overcoming the societal glorification of suffering. She encourages embracing joy and acceptance to navigate life's challenges: "Letting go of that fixed goal is the letting go of the suffering" ([48:07]). Kristen also underscores the importance of energy exchange and collective well-being, stating, "The more well that I am, the more well that you are" ([54:36]).
Kristen's journey exemplifies resilience, self-discovery, and the profound impact of integrating spirituality with professional and personal life. Her insights provide valuable lessons on maintaining authenticity, setting healthy boundaries, and the interconnectedness of personal well-being and activism.
Notable Quotes:
-
On the Toxic Pursuit of Greatness:
“The better I got, the worse it was for me.” ([10:40]) -
On Meditation's Impact:
"The meditative nature of letting things go... was like a breath of fresh air." ([11:52]) -
On Defining Greatness:
“The intention of my journey is to grow and to get better every day and to be well.” ([19:15]) -
On Grieving:
“My mom already accepted me... I have this relationship with my mom that's growing.” ([38:15]) -
On Activism and Inner Work:
“I believe that in order to help others be well, you must be well yourself.” ([51:41]) -
On Boundary Setting:
“I have revolutionized my boundaries... It allows me to love them.” ([59:02]) -
On Suffering vs. Discipline:
“There's a fine line between discipline and suffering.” ([43:57]) -
On Energy Exchange:
“The more well that I am, the more well that you are.” ([54:36]) -
On Letting Go:
"Letting go of that fixed goal is the letting go of the suffering." ([48:07])
Conclusion
Kristen Press's candid discussion on We Can Do Hard Things offers listeners an inspiring narrative of overcoming adversity through self-awareness, spiritual growth, and unwavering commitment to justice. Her story serves as a testament to the power of authenticity and the importance of nurturing one's inner well-being to effect meaningful change in the world.