Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things Episode: Christen Press & Tobin Heath Protect What Matters Most (Best Of)
Release Date: June 29, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle
Guests: Kristen Press & Tobin Heath

Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon Doyle, alongside Abby Wambach and her sister Amanda Doyle, welcomes two inspiring guests: Kristen Press and Tobin Heath. Both are celebrated athletes with impressive accolades, including World Cup Championships and Olympic Gold medals. Beyond their sports achievements, Kristen and Tobin delve into profound discussions about personal growth, relationships, and maintaining privacy in the public eye.

"[00:10] Glenon Doyle: Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. You are not going to want to miss this episode because today we have Kristen Press and Tobin Heath."

Personal Journeys and Enneagram Insights

The conversation kicks off with a light-hearted discussion about the Enneagram, a personality typing system that both Kristen and Tobin have become deeply engaged with, thanks to the podcast.

"[02:14] Abby Wambach: What numbers are you guys? What's your number, Kristen?"
[02:17] Tobin Heath: Three. Seven."

Kristen shares her experience with therapy and self-discovery through the lens of her Enneagram type, highlighting her journey to understand her "shadow side."

"[03:16] Abby Wambach: Well, Tobin, I don't know. Tobin, did you hear the Suzanne Stabil episode that we did on 'And I'm a seven'? ... trying to discover more about my shadow side, like, the sadder emotions that I don't ever feel or want to feel."

Tobin discusses her own struggles with shadow work and how it affects her relationship with Kristen, leading to a deeper exploration of their personalities and coping mechanisms.

"[05:01] Tobin Heath: ... that's the messy middle. That's not being so black or white. That's what I'm working on in therapy."

Redefining Privacy and Sacredness in Relationships

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to how Kristen and Tobin navigate their relationship's privacy amidst their public personas. They emphasize the importance of keeping their personal lives sacred and private, contrasting it with the often overexposed lives of other public figures.

"[08:07] Glennon Doyle: ... you have a joy for sacredness and that you deeply appreciate privacy and that you have an opportunity to model privacy as a valid way to be even in the public eye."

Kristen explains their conscious decision to protect their relationship from public scrutiny, advocating for a model where personal authenticity doesn't require public validation.

"[12:42] Abby Wambach: ... we are in the queer community, and we're fighting ... it felt like us coming out and being really public in our relationship would be a huge advantage. It felt like we would have a bigger following... and that made it less interesting."

Tobin adds that maintaining privacy allows their relationship to remain genuine and free from societal pressures.

"[17:16] Tobin Heath: ... the only example I have is Tobin. Honestly, the only... she's living in her shadow side."

Innovative Relationship Structures: The Seven-Year Contract

One of the most intriguing topics discussed is Kristen and Tobin's unique approach to commitment within their relationship. Drawing inspiration from sports contracts, they have implemented a seven-year agreement that allows them to regularly reassess their partnership.

"[19:24] Kristen Press: ... relationships need to be like, redefined or reimagined. ... it's an insane expectation that you're going to make a decision and that decision is just going to be like for the rest of your lives."

Kristen elaborates on how this contract provides a structured yet flexible framework, enabling both partners to grow individually while maintaining their bond.

"[20:51] Kristen Press: ... how many years do you want? And then...you sign another contract, or you just go separate ways."

This approach signifies a departure from traditional relationship norms, emphasizing autonomy and mutual respect.

"[23:12] Glennon Doyle: What is that quote? That's like the highest expression of love is to love your person so that they constantly feel free."

Community and Belonging: Airbnb Experience at Angel City FC

Kristen and Tobin recount a memorable Airbnb Experience they hosted at an Angel City FC match. This segment highlights their commitment to fostering community and creating meaningful connections through sports.

"[24:35] Kristen Press: ...we hosted an Airbnb original Experience at the Angel City FC match. ... the community, the culture, and the pride that radiates throughout the whole stadium."

Abby emphasizes the sense of belonging and the vibrant energy that comes from such communal gatherings.

"[25:26] Glennon Doyle: Truth. It's the best."

The experience underscored the importance of sports as a unifying force, beyond mere competition.

Navigating Emotions and Vulnerability in Relationships

The discussion transitions to handling emotions and vulnerability within their relationship. Kristen admits to finding it challenging to express negative emotions, which sometimes leads to misunderstandings.

"[43:05] Glennon Doyle: Kristen has to, like, talk it out. She needs to talk it out, and I'd rather just be like, let's just give it 10 minutes before he dies."

Abby shares her own journey of expressing feelings more openly, despite initial setbacks.

"[46:39] Abby Wambach: ... I just want to tell you that. And she just... she gets this face and she goes."

Glennon reflects on the difficulty of breaking old habits and the importance of continuous effort in nurturing emotional intimacy.

"[47:42] Glennon Doyle: And then you guys. It's the thing, right? What the fuck? Now I know I can't do it because we've talked about it so many times."

Creative Outlets and Future Endeavors

Kristen and Tobin discuss their plans to expand their creative horizons, particularly through their recap show, aiming to highlight women's sports and provide authentic commentary.

"[58:27] Tobin Heath: ... we have big plans for 2024, ... franchising what the recap show is and bringing it to different sports and competitions."

This initiative reflects their dedication to elevating underrepresented voices in sports media and fostering a more inclusive narrative.

"[59:00] Tobin Heath: ... it's all about connecting. We want to support everything you do."

Closing Remarks and Appreciation

As the episode wraps up, Kristen and Tobin express their gratitude towards We Can Do Hard Things for the platform to share their stories and connect with listeners. Their genuine appreciation underscores the podcast's impact on their personal and professional lives.

"[53:04] Kristen Press: ... we really appreciate everything that you brought into our lives."

"[53:17] Abby Wambach: ... you changed my life for sure."

Key Takeaways

1. Authentic Relationships: Kristen and Tobin advocate for redefining relationship norms to prioritize authenticity, privacy, and mutual growth.
2. Personal Growth: Embracing tools like the Enneagram and therapy can lead to deeper self-awareness and healthier relationships.
3. Community Building: Engaging in community-centric activities, such as hosting sports events, fosters a sense of belonging and collective pride.
4. Creative Expression: Expanding creative ventures, like their recap show, can amplify underrepresented voices and promote inclusivity in sports media.
5. Vulnerability and Communication: Open emotional expression is crucial, though it requires ongoing effort and understanding to navigate effectively.

Notable Quotes

• "[12:42] Abby Wambach: Wow."
• "[23:38] Kristen Press: ... the highest expression of love is to love your person so that they constantly feel free."
• "[34:05] Tobin Heath: ... my entire drive for soccer to this day, like, I wonder, why do I do this still? Because I feel like my love was of being successful, and my need was to be successful."
• "[50:06] Tobin Heath: ... the only example I have is Tobin. Honestly, the only example I have for something that I know I like that I chose, that is, like, innate in me, is Tobin."

Conclusion

This episode of We Can Do Hard Things offers a profound exploration of personal and relational growth through the experiences of Kristen Press and Tobin Heath. Their candid conversations about privacy, relationship structures, and community engagement provide valuable insights for listeners navigating their own hard things. By sharing their authentic stories, they inspire others to embrace vulnerability, redefine norms, and foster meaningful connections.

Thank you for reading this summary! If you found it helpful, consider subscribing to We Can Do Hard Things for more inspiring conversations.