Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things – Episode: Processing…

Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Guest: Cher
Release Date: November 19, 2024

We Can Do Hard Things is a heartfelt and candid podcast where hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle engage in deep, honest conversations about the challenges of life. In the Processing… episode, the trio welcomes the iconic singer and actress Cher to discuss her personal journey, relationships, and the wisdom she's garnered through decades in the spotlight.

1. Welcoming Cher and Discussing Her New Book

The episode kicks off with an enthusiastic introduction of Cher by Glennon Doyle. The hosts express their admiration for Cher’s new book, highlighting its personal depth and the invaluable insights it offers.

Glennon Doyle [05:05]: "Your book is so personal. It's such a gift to learn about you as a person."

Cher shares the arduous process of writing the book, emphasizing the difficulty of revealing personal truths while honoring those around her.

Cher [05:34]: "It was such a bitch. I cannot tell you because it's hard. But after a while, it was pretty good. It was never easy."

2. Cher’s Early Relationships and Struggles with Sonny

A significant portion of the conversation delves into Cher’s early career and her tumultuous relationship with Sonny Bono. Cher recounts the challenges of maintaining her identity while being part of the Sonny & Cher duo.

Cher [07:57]: "We weren't acting out parts. We really had a great time, but it was the only place where I had a great time because I couldn't be under his thumb."

Cher opens up about the emotional toll of the relationship, highlighting moments where she felt controlled and lost her sense of self.

Cher [12:14]: "Off stage, he was controlling me. I could not be a human being at all."

3. Overcoming an Abusive Relationship

One of the most poignant moments in the episode is Cher’s account of contemplating ending her life to escape her abusive relationship with Sonny. This revelation serves as a powerful testament to her resilience and the importance of finding a way out of toxic situations.

Cher [13:14]: "I was just going to jump off this thing... I can leave him."

Glennon acknowledges the life-saving nature of this moment, emphasizing its significance for listeners who may be in similar circumstances.

Glennon Doyle [13:17]: "When you’re in a bad relationship, your vision narrows and you think you only have this one option."

Cher advises women in abusive relationships to seek help and find a path to freedom, even amidst significant financial and emotional challenges.

Cher [17:37]: "If you can get out, get out. And if you can't get out, get out anyway."

4. Cher’s Experience with Chaz Bono’s Transition

The conversation shifts to Cher’s relationship with her son, Chaz Bono, and the challenges she faced when he began his gender transition. Cher admits to her initial struggles and fears, offering a raw and honest perspective that many parents can relate to.

Cher [33:26]: "I was terrible. I was just terrible."

However, Cher reflects on the positive transformation in their relationship post-transition, highlighting their strengthened bond and collaborative projects.

Cher [35:05]: "Now, we have a great relationship, really great fun, and we work together on a couple of projects. It’s just great."

Glennon praises Cher's honesty, noting that her transparency provides permission for other parents to navigate similar journeys with compassion and patience.

Glennon Doyle [35:27]: "It's so honest, and it's a gift because it gives parents permission to not get it, nail it the first time, but to keep trying."

5. Insights on Money and Financial Independence

Cher discusses her tumultuous relationship with money, particularly how Sonny manipulated financial agreements to control her earnings. She underscores the importance of financial literacy and autonomy for women.

Cher [29:19]: "It's hard to learn about money, especially when you're poor. It scares you."

The hosts explore the broader implications of Cher’s experiences, acknowledging the systemic issues that allow for financial abuse within relationships.

Amanda Doyle [30:50]: "It's abusive. It's a terrible thing."

6. Parenting in the Spotlight

Cher shares the unique challenges of parenting while being a public figure. She reflects on the difficulties her children faced growing up in the limelight and offers advice for parents striving to balance fame with personal connections.

Cher [38:37]: "It's not easy being the child of a famous person."

7. Coping with Public Scrutiny and Maintaining Authenticity

The hosts and Cher delve into the incessant public scrutiny she faces and how she maintains her authenticity amidst widespread judgment and rumors.

Cher [40:27]: "I just wouldn't give up. I just wouldn't stop. I didn't know how to do anything else."

Cher emphasizes resilience and the importance of persisting through adversity, comparing herself to a bumper car that adapts its direction upon impact.

Cher [40:27]: "It's like a bumper car, and if I hit a wall, I'm going to back up and I'm going to go in another direction."

8. Balancing Acting and Singing

Cher discusses her dual passions for acting and singing, highlighting the different emotional and cognitive demands each art form requires.

Cher [46:27]: "Acting is concentrating, and singing is not. Singing is just letting your voice come out."

9. Future Projects and Dreams

Concluding the episode, Cher reveals her excitement for future collaborations, particularly an upcoming album with her partner Alexander. She reflects on the joy and challenges of continuing to create art later in her career.

Cher [47:06]: "My next dream is this album I’m gonna do with Alexander because I shouldn’t be singing at this age because it’s not easy.”

10. Final Thoughts and Words of Encouragement

In her closing remarks, Cher credits her enduring success to her unwavering determination and refusal to give up, even when faced with insurmountable odds.

Cher [48:31]: "You just don’t give up."

Glennon echoes this sentiment, appreciating Cher’s example of moving forward despite fear and adversity.

Glennon Doyle [48:34]: "You don’t have to have the courage. You can just not stop while you're scared."

Cher humbly attributes her perseverance to a simple refusal to quit, providing a powerful takeaway for listeners grappling with their own challenges.

Notable Quotes:

• Glennon Doyle [05:05]: "Your book is so personal. It's such a gift to learn about you as a person."
• Cher [12:14]: "Off stage, he was controlling me. I could not be a human being at all."
• Cher [17:37]: "If you can get out, get out. And if you can't get out, get out anyway."
• Cher [40:27]: "It's like a bumper car, and if I hit a wall, I'm going to back up and I'm going to go in another direction."
• Cher [48:31]: "You just don’t give up."

Conclusion

In this deeply personal episode, Cher opens up about her struggles with abusive relationships, financial manipulation, and the challenges of parenting in the public eye. Her honest reflections and resilient spirit provide listeners with both inspiration and practical advice on navigating life's hardest moments. We Can Do Hard Things continues to fulfill its mission by fostering authentic conversations that help listeners feel less alone and more empowered to face their own challenges.