Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things – "Find Your Tawanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)"
Release Date: January 22, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Guests: Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne
Introduction
In this heartfelt and engaging episode of We Can Do Hard Things, hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle welcome stand-up comedian Tig Notaro and writer/director Stephanie Allynne for a special double date conversation. The episode delves deep into personal growth, sexuality, relationship dynamics, and navigating life's challenges with authenticity and humor.
Guest Introductions
Abby Wambach introduces Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne, highlighting their impressive careers and collaborative projects:
- Stephanie Allynne: Writer, actor, producer, director with credits in The L Word, Generation Q, One Mississippi, and Twin Peaks. Currently developing the feature film Time and Space with Tig Notaro.
- Tig Notaro: Emmy and Grammy-nominated comedian and actress, known for Army of the Dead and Star Trek: Discovery, and host of the advice podcast Don't Ask Tig.
Navigating Sexuality and Relationships
A significant portion of the conversation centers on Tig and Stephanie's journey in understanding and embracing their sexuality within the framework of their marriage.
Tig Notaro shares her early experiences and confusion about her sexual orientation:
"I thought the world of you. I love hanging out with you. I think you're so funny... But, unfortunately, I'm just too straight." [04:31]
This led to a series of misunderstandings and self-discovery, culminating in Tig realizing her true sexuality after marrying Stephanie.
Stephanie Allynne reflects on the transition:
"It's terrifying. I think, if people are holding these secrets or thoughts, that's when things get rough." [09:32]
Together, they discuss the concept of "Tawanda," a metaphorical transformation akin to the character from Fried Green Tomatoes, symbolizing personal reclamation and empowerment.
Tawanda: Embracing Change and Growth
"Tawanda" becomes a central theme as both Tig and Stephanie explore how they've evolved individually and as a couple. They discuss the challenges of balancing personal growth with maintaining a strong, loving relationship.
Tig Notaro explains:
"Our love got stronger and being able to kind of go, oh, this is how I feel. This is who I am now." [27:19]
Stephanie Allynne adds:
"It's Tawanding where I'm like, this does not work for me in a way that I have not been before." [33:53]
Their candid conversation highlights the importance of open communication, mutual support, and the willingness to adapt and grow together.
Conflict Resolution and Communication
The guests share effective techniques for managing disagreements and maintaining harmony in their relationship:
- Musical Intervention: Stephanie recounts using impromptu singing to defuse tension.
- Humorous Cues: Mimicking a dog’s paw gesture to lighten the mood during arguments.
- Couples Therapy Insights: Emphasizing empathy and the question, “How can I help you feel okay?”
Tig Notaro elaborates on their approach:
"If you're not gonna say you're sorry, but go up to the person and go, how can I help?" [63:58]
These strategies underscore the value of humor, empathy, and proactive problem-solving in sustaining a healthy relationship.
Parenting and Family Dynamics
The conversation also touches on parenting twin six-year-olds, illustrating the joys and challenges of raising children while maintaining a strong partnership.
Stephanie Allynne shares:
"They are so loving and protective of each other. We cannot reprimand one without the other one getting so upset with us." [51:53]
The guests discuss fostering a nurturing environment, emphasizing connection and mutual support among family members.
Personal and Professional Growth
Both Tig and Stephanie emphasize the importance of personal development and pursuing passions:
- Stephanie Allynne talks about her creative ventures and the significance of working together in their production company.
- Tig Notaro reflects on embracing her authentic self and the continuous journey of self-discovery.
Philanthropy and Activism
The episode concludes with a heartfelt discussion on giving back and supporting causes that align with personal values. Stephanie and Tig commend the hosts' organization, Together Rising, for its impactful contributions, particularly in supporting those affected by crises like the Ukraine conflict.
Stephanie Allynne states:
"Intention is so crucial... I trust the intention behind your organization." [67:57]
Tig Notaro adds:
"If you have a problem with something, don't complain about it. Do something, donate money, lift a finger, and help people." [65:26]
Conclusion
The episode wraps up with expressions of mutual appreciation and a reaffirmation of their commitment to facing life's challenges together. The guests and hosts share a sense of community and encouragement, embodying the podcast's core message that "We Can Do Hard Things."
Glennon Doyle concludes:
"Nothing matters. So do it. Take the risk, but just remember, nothing matters." [50:02]
This powerful statement encapsulates the episode’s essence—embracing vulnerability, fostering genuine connections, and courageously navigating life's complexities.
Notable Quotes
- Glennon Doyle: "A single source of truth that provides the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions." [21:01]
- Tig Notaro: "How can I help you feel okay?" [63:58]
- Stephanie Allynne: "Nothing matters. So do it. Take the risk, but just remember, nothing matters." [50:02]
- Abby Wambach: "We laugh and cry and help each other carry the hard so we can all live a little bit lighter and braver, free-er, less alone." [03:26]
Key Takeaways
- Authenticity in Relationships: Embracing one's true self is crucial for personal happiness and relationship strength.
- Effective Communication: Utilizing humor and empathetic questions can defuse conflicts and foster understanding.
- Continuous Growth: Both personal and professional development are essential for a fulfilling life.
- Community and Support: Building a supportive network enhances resilience in the face of life's challenges.
- Philanthropy: Acts of giving and supporting meaningful causes contribute to a sense of purpose and connection.
This episode of We Can Do Hard Things offers an inspiring and candid exploration of love, self-discovery, and the strength found in vulnerability. Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne provide valuable insights and relatable experiences, making this a must-listen for anyone navigating their own hard things.