Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things – "Get Free from Perfectionism | Live on Tour" (August 21, 2025)
Episode Overview
In this heartfelt and candid live episode from Minneapolis, the final stop of the We Can Do Hard Things tour, hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle (Sissy) gather with their audience to explore the struggle of perfectionism, parenting, family boundaries, the pain of being human, and the messy magic of making life up as they go. The episode features honest Q&A exchanges with audience members, reflections on handling feedback and setting boundaries, and a surprise on-stage vow renewal between Glennon and Abby, all wrapped in a deeply supportive, humorous, and vulnerable atmosphere.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Myth of Knowing What You’re Doing — Parenting & Life
- Parenting’s Reality (05:20)
- Abby: “Nobody knows what they’re doing. You’re gonna make it up for you, and you’re gonna find things that work. You’re gonna find things that don’t work. ... That’s parenting in a nutshell.”
- Being Broken by What You Love (06:25)
- Sissy: “Expect your child to absolutely break you ... but break you in the way that is most painful for you because it is the way you need to be broken.”
- Glennon: “The end. But go with God.”
2. Perfectionism & Internal Family Systems
- Understanding the Root of Perfectionism (10:04)
- Sissy encourages curiosity over self-shame. “Every single part of ourselves is working for us. … It thinks it is working the way that we need it to work.”
- Protective Nature of Perfectionism (12:20–13:23)
- Sissy: “My perfectionist, I realized, was a protector ... not trying to be perfect, it was trying to protect me from what would happen if I wasn’t perfect.”
- Letting Go (13:40)
- Glennon on new approaches: “I see you, but we’re not hanging out anymore.”
3. Navigating Feedback and Growth
- Dealing with Criticism Publicly and Privately (19:04)
- Glennon: “I finally realized that doesn’t matter ... Why don’t I just go do something good and keep doing good things and keep showing up for people ... They just need us to show up and do the right thing.”
- Self-Reflection over External Validation (21:48)
- Sissy: “That’s right.”
- Glennon: “The most important feedback is the feedback you give yourself at the end of the day when you look in the mirror.”
4. Family, Boundaries, and the Pain of Change
- Sisterhood and Boundaries (23:32–28:38)
- Glennon: “It is very hard because ... those core wounds come right to the top every time.”
- Sissy: “You will lose that relationship if you know in your heart ... you said what you needed, she balked, and you took it back.”
- Abby: “Grow the spine to be strong enough to stand up and walk out of any fucking room you need to walk out of.”
- After the Boundary Comes the Storm (28:19–29:17)
- Glennon: “Never in the history of the world has anyone in a family unit said something that was different than what we all agreed on before ... When somebody on stage goes off script and says a new line, everybody else freaks the hell out.”
5. The Anxiety of Growing Older
- Comparison and Milestones in Twenties (31:05–35:38)
- Audience (Kylie): “All my friends are married and have babies.”
- Glennon: “They just got FOMO and grabbed the first person that they saw because their friend was getting married.”
- Abby’s hack: “I choose to only hang out with older people. And so I always feel young.”
6. Self Care and the Futility of Seeking Only Happiness
- Normalizing Hurt and Slowing Down (36:11–39:14)
- Glennon: “I never stop hurting ... being human isn’t about feeling happy. It’s about feeling everything.”
- Measure mental health by Zillow time: “If I’m looking for a cabin with no electricity in the middle of the woods ... maybe I just need a minute by myself in my house.”
- Visionaries and Sadness (39:37–40:38)
- Glennon: “The sadness is the gap between the vision you have inside of yourself about how things should be and the reality of how things are.”
7. Facing Overwhelm & Collective Resistance
- Historical Perspective as Comfort (45:41–48:53)
- Sissy: “A lot of the overwhelm ... is an intentional strategy ... historically a repeated process.”
- “Read stories about freedom fighters of the past ... it is horrifying to read and strangely comforting ... this is the human story.”
- “People rise up to take totalitarian power and then the people either take their place ... or they don’t ... Dictators are gonna dictate, people are gonna people.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)
- Abby on Parenting:
“Nobody knows what they’re doing ... making it up as you go along. That’s parenting in a nutshell.” (06:07) - Sissy on Being Broken Open:
“Expect your child to absolutely break you, but ... in the way you need to be broken.” (06:25) - Sissy on Perfectionism’s Purpose:
“My perfectionist ... was trying to protect me from what would happen if I wasn’t perfect.” (12:20) - Glennon on Feedback:
“I realized ... why would I spend one minute arguing with you about whether I’m a good person? Why don’t I just go do something good?” (19:04) - Glennon on Family Boundaries:
“Never in the history of the world has anyone in a family unit said something that was different ... and then everyone in the family went, ‘Oh, okay, that sounds good.’ No, no.” (28:38) - Sissy on Sisterhood’s Intensity:
“If it was a video game, like, you’d know exactly the place ... that’s what makes it so intimate. And that’s also what makes it ... dangerous.” (27:04) - Glennon on Pain & Happiness:
“Being human isn’t about feeling happy. It’s about feeling everything.” (36:37) - Glennon on Sadness:
“Visionaries have the biggest sadness, because ... you feel the vision inside of you and you see the reality and there’s such a distance, and that distance is the sadness.” (39:37) - Sissy on Overwhelm in Activism:
“A lot of the overwhelm ... is an intentional strategy ... when we’re so flooded like that ... read stories about freedom fighters of the past ... it is the human story.” (45:41–48:53) - Abby’s Life Hack on Aging:
“Hang out with older people. And so I always feel young.” (34:35)
Special Live Moments
- Audience Connections
- The episode features wide-ranging questions from attendees about parenting, perfectionism, family conflict, aging, and enduring through difficult times.
- Vow Renewal Surprise (51:09–52:44)
- Abby surprises Glennon by asking her to renew their vows on-stage:
Abby: “Glennon, will you please renew your vows with me and marry me again?”
Glennon: “I will.”
The crowd cheers, providing a heartfelt, awkward, and joyful moment.
- Abby surprises Glennon by asking her to renew their vows on-stage:
Closure
The episode ends with music by Tish Melton and words of gratitude from the hosts, encapsulating the raw, communal spirit of the tour and the podcast’s central message: We can do hard things — together, imperfectly, and with love.
For listeners who crave honesty, community, laughter, and the comfort of not having all the answers, this episode delivers connection, insight, and solidarity for anyone walking through the messiness of life.