We Can Do Hard Things Podcast Episode Summary

Title: Gillian Anderson: How to Get What You Want (in Bed and in Life)
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Guest: Gillian Anderson
Release Date: October 29, 2024

In this compelling episode of We Can Do Hard Things, hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle engage in a profound and heartfelt conversation with the acclaimed actress and activist, Gillian Anderson. The discussion navigates through themes of sexual empowerment, personal authenticity, rebellion against societal norms, and the intersection of the personal and political in women's lives.

1. Introduction to Gillian Anderson

The episode opens with a warm and enthusiastic introduction of Gillian Anderson, highlighting her multifaceted career and her role as a beacon of representation for many women, especially within the LGBTQ+ community.

Abby Wambach introduces Gillian by saying, “Gillian Anderson, congratulations for being such an incredible icon for so long. You are so unbelievably talented and such a trailblazer” (06:38).

2. Exploring Sexual Fantasies and Their Cultural Significance

A significant portion of the conversation delves into Gillian Anderson's latest book, Want: Sexual Fantasies from the Women Who Have Them and Why They Are Important. The hosts and Anderson explore how sexual fantasies are not merely personal desires but are deeply intertwined with cultural and societal constructs.

Abby Wambach reflects on a key theme from the book, stating, “Everything in the world is about sex except for sex. Sex is about power” (15:03). This highlights how sexual fantasies can be a manifestation of empowerment and the desire for agency.

Gillian Anderson explains the genesis of her book: “I put the call out to women from around the world and my imagination... to take a look at the degree to which things may or may not have changed for women since the 70s” (07:49). She emphasizes the importance of giving women a platform to voice their innermost desires anonymously, fostering a sense of community and shared experience.

3. Rebellion Against Wellness Culture

The discussion shifts to Anderson's experiences with and critique of wellness culture. Both Anderson and the hosts express frustration with how wellness standards often impose restrictive "shoulds" on women, leading to internal conflicts and self-judgment.

Gillian Anderson candidly shares, “Fuck wellness culture” (15:05), signaling a rejection of societal pressures to conform to specific health and wellness norms.

Amanda Doyle adds context to her own battles with wellness expectations: “...refusing internally to do the things that I felt people were telling me that I should do” (07:33). She discusses the impact of social media and societal standards on women's self-perception and mental health.

4. The Intersection of Personal Empowerment and Political Rights

A pivotal part of the conversation explores how personal empowerment, especially in intimate relationships, mirrors broader political struggles for women's rights and bodily autonomy.

Amanda Doyle connects personal empowerment to political activism, stating, “If we can’t do it in our bedrooms, how can we have power outside of it?” (28:05). This underscores the idea that the ability to express desires and needs in intimate settings is reflective of broader societal freedoms.

Gillian Anderson ties this concept to recent political changes, noting the timing of her book’s launch with the overturning of Roe v. Wade: “Nancy Friday... was when Roe became law. You start your project in 2022, which is when Roe is overturned” (19:05). This highlights the precarious nature of women's rights and the importance of personal autonomy in the face of political challenges.

5. Embracing Choice and Pleasure as Forms of Resistance

The conversation emphasizes the importance of embracing personal choice and pleasure as acts of resistance against oppressive norms. The hosts discuss how prioritizing one's own desires and needs, both in and out of the bedroom, is a powerful statement of self-worth and autonomy.

Abby Wambach passionately remarks, “I have to think, does this make me feel good or do I just feel obedient?” (31:23). This question encapsulates the struggle between genuine self-care and conforming to externally imposed standards.

Gillian Anderson expands on the concept of pleasure as a form of power: “Is there power in being like, I have the right to feel pleasure?” (20:38). She advocates for women to openly declare their needs and desires without shame, reinforcing the notion that pleasure is a legitimate and vital aspect of one's well-being.

6. Closing Thoughts and Future Initiatives

As the episode draws to a close, Gillian Anderson shares her vision for continued dialogue and community building through her media hub, ThisIsGeode.com. The hosts express their gratitude and admiration for Anderson's openness and advocacy.

Glennon Doyle concludes with heartfelt appreciation: “For all of the lesbians out there, you've been an icon, like a North Star for so many of us... thank you for being that for us all these years” (44:31).

Notable Quotes

• Abby Wambach: “Everything in the world is about sex except for sex. Sex is about power.” (15:03)
• Gillian Anderson: “I felt like this isn't my book. This is every woman's book.” (07:49)
• Amanda Doyle: “If we can’t do it in our bedrooms, how can we have power outside of it?” (28:05)
• Abby Wambach: “Is there power in being like, I have the right to feel pleasure?” (20:38)
• Glennon Doyle: “If you can't even do it in your bedroom, how can we have power and outside of it?” (32:19)

Conclusion

This episode of We Can Do Hard Things serves as a powerful exploration of the connections between personal desires, societal expectations, and political rights. Through candid conversation and shared experiences, Gillian Anderson and the hosts shed light on the importance of authenticity, empowerment, and solidarity among women. The dialogue encourages listeners to embrace their true selves, challenge oppressive norms, and advocate for their rights both personally and politically.

Timestamp References:

• 06:38: Introduction of Gillian Anderson
• 07:33: Amanda Doyle discusses being an outsider
• 07:49: Gillian Anderson on her book
• 15:03: Abby Wambach on sex and power
• 15:05: Rejection of wellness culture
• 19:05: Connection to Roe v. Wade
• 20:38: Power in feeling pleasure
• 28:05: Personal empowerment and political rights
• 31:23: Feeling good vs. feeling obedient
• 32:19: Importance of empowerment in personal spaces
• 44:31: Appreciation for Gillian Anderson

Note: Timestamps correspond to the provided transcript and indicate when each notable point or quote occurs within the episode.