We Can Do Hard Things: Glennon – You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons

Release Date: January 30, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Platform: Audacy

Introduction to the Episode's Main Themes

In the episode titled "You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons," hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle delve deep into the complexities of modern parenting. They explore the delicate balance between guiding their children and allowing them the freedom to forge their own paths. The conversation is rich with personal anecdotes, profound insights, and heartfelt reflections, making it an engaging listen for anyone navigating the challenging terrain of raising children.

Letting Go of Control in Parenting

Amanda Doyle opens the discussion by sharing her personal journey over the past two years, marked by an anorexia diagnosis and a conscious effort to relinquish control in various aspects of her life. She emphasizes the importance of trusting her children to navigate their own challenges without constant parental intervention.

Amanda Doyle (06:26): "I will trust that my anxiety isn't actually what's keeping everyone safe. In fact, it's really upsetting everyone in every arena."

This sentiment resonates throughout the episode as the hosts discuss the anxiety many parents feel about ensuring their children's success and well-being. Amanda highlights the transformative power of letting go:

Amanda Doyle (07:09): "We're going to talk about what should we do, what should we not do? And Abby just looks at me and she goes, you can't fuck with the art."

The Significance of the "You Can't F With Art" Message

The phrase "You can't fuck with the art" becomes a central metaphor in the episode. It encapsulates the idea of allowing one's children (or oneself) to engage in their own creative and personal journeys without imposed limitations or excessive control.

Abby Wambach (13:35): "I think that the net metaphor, I love it, but I think that net is this fake belief that we need in order to be a parent."

Amanda elaborates on how this message applies to parenting:

Amanda Doyle (17:22): "It's like you can't fuck with the art. Being literal. Like we have to let this artist go do their art."

This philosophy encourages parents to trust in the inherent resilience and creativity of their children, allowing them to create their own masterpieces in life.

Family Road Trip Experiences

The hosts recount their recent family road trip to San Francisco, highlighting how confined spaces like cars can foster deeper connections and understanding among family members. Glennon shares her initial apprehensions about the trip but ultimately finds it to be a blessing.

Glennon Doyle (34:25): "The best thing about them is they're, like, gargantuan. They can be, like, £5,000. And they rush at each other like they're gonna storm another one."

Through humorous and touching anecdotes, they illustrate how such trips provide opportunities to observe and appreciate each other beyond daily routines.

Redefining Family Time and Interaction

Reflecting on the road trip, Amanda suggests incorporating more frequent family gatherings akin to the Sabbath, rather than limiting quality time to a single week a year. This approach aims to foster continuous, meaningful interactions, allowing family members to see and appreciate each other's true selves regularly.

Amanda Doyle (45:58): "It's also like a shout out to simpler vacations because, oh, you can really just recreate your family trauma with a vacation."

The hosts agree that regular, unstructured time together can significantly enhance family bonds and personal well-being.

Insights on Gift Giving

Shifting the conversation to gift-giving, Amanda discusses the challenges of matching presents to the invisible lists parents often keep for their children’s needs and desires. She and Abby share their innovative approach of reflecting on significant moments from the past year to select meaningful gifts, thereby moving beyond superficial exchanges.

Abby Wambach (29:36): "Have your person write out the things that they really loved about the prior year."

Glennon adds humor to the discussion, recounting how a planned acronym on a gift ring unintentionally spelled out a rebellious message, reinforcing the theme of authenticity over perfection.

Final Reflections and Conclusions

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reiterate the importance of embracing life's uncertainties and trusting the natural unfolding of events. Amanda encapsulates this philosophy by emphasizing the beauty of letting go and allowing each family member to create their own "art."

Amanda Doyle (26:37): "I get to just be art. I get to not be God."

This profound insight encourages listeners to adopt a more relaxed and trusting approach to parenting, fostering environments where children can thrive independently while still feeling supported.

Notable Quotes

• Amanda Doyle (07:09): "We're going to talk about what should we do, what should we not do? And Abby just looks at me and she goes, you can't fuck with the art."
• Abby Wambach (13:35): "I think that the net metaphor, I love it, but I think that net is this fake belief that we need in order to be a parent."
• Glennon Doyle (34:25): "The best thing about them is they're, like, gargantuan. They can be, like, £5,000. And they rush at each other like they're gonna storm another one."
• Amanda Doyle (26:37): "I get to just be art. I get to not be God."

Conclusion

This episode of We Can Do Hard Things offers a heartfelt exploration of parenting philosophies centered around trust, authenticity, and the courage to let children explore their own paths. Through personal stories and candid conversations, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda provide valuable insights for parents striving to balance guidance with freedom, ultimately fostering environments where both parents and children can grow and thrive together.