We Can Do Hard Things: Gloria Steinem – Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
Release Date: March 9, 2025

In this compelling episode of We Can Do Hard Things, hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle engage in a profound and heartfelt conversation with iconic feminist leader Gloria Steinem. The dialogue delves deep into personal histories, systemic challenges, and the power of authenticity and laughter in the journey toward liberation. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing the essence of their discussion.

1. Personal Background and Mother's Influence

Gloria Steinem opens the conversation by reflecting on her mother's struggles with mental illness and unfulfilled ambitions. She shares poignant insights into how these early experiences shaped her understanding of systemic failures and personal resilience.

[06:18] Gloria Steinem: "I think many of us had mothers who could not be fully their own talented, autonomous, independent selves. And that's a source of sorrow for us."

Gloria discusses her mother's role as a pioneering journalist whose career was derailed by a nervous breakdown, leading Gloria to step into a caretaker role from a young age. This dynamic instilled in Gloria a sense of responsibility and an awareness of the societal structures that limit women's potential.

2. Authenticity and the Power of Talking Circles

The conversation shifts to the importance of authenticity and creating safe spaces for women to share their truths. Gloria emphasizes the significance of talking circles as a foundational element in social justice movements.

[10:22] Gloria Steinem: "I think this simple act, whether it's a talking circle or two women at a kitchen table or whatever it is, of being able to tell the truth about your feelings and your life experience and be heard and hear someone else's truth is how we understand the collective truth."

She highlights how movements like civil rights and anti-war activism began with personal testimonies, reinforcing that genuine connection and shared experiences drive collective action more effectively than statistics alone.

3. The Role of Laughter in Liberation

A central theme of the episode is the transformative power of laughter. Gloria articulates how laughter serves as a "proof of freedom", fostering communal bonds and resilience.

[12:00] Gloria Steinem: "Laughter turns out to be the one emotion that can't be compelled. It's a proof of freedom."

Glennon Doyle shares her personal struggle with compulsory laughter in male-dominated spaces, illustrating how authentic laughter contrasts with forced responses intended to placate or conform. The hosts and Gloria explore the duality of laughter—as a genuine expression of joy and a tool for resistance against oppressive dynamics.

[14:28] Glennon Doyle: "It felt like a war. He would talk, and then I would refuse to giggle."
[15:01] Amanda Doyle: "A fake laugh is exactly like a fake orgasm... it's for keeping the outside steady."

This discussion underscores the necessity of authentic emotional expression as a means of maintaining one's integrity and challenging societal expectations.

4. Intersectionality and Challenging White Feminism

The dialogue addresses the complexities of intersectional feminism, critiquing white feminism for its tendency to prioritize hierarchical power structures and exclude marginalized voices.

[25:03] Gloria Steinem: "If feminism doesn't include all women, it's not feminism. There really is no such thing as white feminism."

Gloria argues that true feminism must embrace diversity and address the intersecting oppressions faced by women of different races, sexual orientations, and socioeconomic backgrounds. The hosts discuss historical and contemporary examples, emphasizing the movement's need to be inclusive and equitable.

5. Voting with the Patriarchy and Expanding Choice

A significant portion of the conversation explores how many white women inadvertently vote with the patriarchy, often due to economic dependencies or limited awareness of alternative choices.

[26:37] Gloria Steinem: "A large proportion of white women are dependent on the identity and incomes of white men. So they may be voting the interests of their husbands."

Gloria stresses the importance of expanding voting choices and empowering women to recognize their agency in political decisions. The hosts reflect on how personal actions, such as equal caregiving responsibilities, can influence broader societal shifts.

6. Sustaining Activism and Avoiding Burnout

The discussion turns to the sustainability of activist efforts and strategies to prevent burnout. Gloria underscores the necessity of community and mutual support in maintaining long-term commitment to social justice causes.

[48:42] Gloria Steinem: "We are social creatures. We need each other."

Glennon and Abby share personal anecdotes about navigating criticism and reinforcing the importance of collective resilience. Gloria highlights that being part of a movement provides the emotional sustenance needed to continue combating systemic injustices.

7. Indigenous Wisdom and Egalitarian Cultures

Gloria emphasizes the wisdom inherent in indigenous cultures, particularly their egalitarian practices, which predate and inform modern democratic institutions.

[44:30] Gloria Steinem: "Before European explorers set foot on this land, there were already cultures that were egalitarian."

She advocates for incorporating indigenous perspectives into educational curricula to foster a deeper understanding of cooperative governance and gender equality. This acknowledgment serves as a foundation for dismantling patriarchal structures and embracing more inclusive societal models.

8. Reproductive Justice and Bodily Autonomy

The conversation delves into reproductive justice as a cornerstone of gender equality. Gloria explains that control over reproductive rights is fundamental to dismantling patriarchal dominance.

[22:31] Gloria Steinem: "The very definition of patriarchy is controlling women's bodies as the means of reproduction because we happen to have wombs."

She recounts historical contexts, such as the witch trials, to illustrate how controlling women's reproductive capabilities has long been a tool of oppression. Gloria underscores that reproductive autonomy is essential for women to achieve full human potential and equality.

9. Power and Its Sources

Gloria defines power not as domination but as the capacity to create equality and kindness within various institutions.

[49:21] Gloria Steinem: "But I'd like to have the power to do, you know, to create more equality and kindness in whatever the institution is."

This redefinition shifts the focus from hierarchical power structures to empowering individuals and communities to effect positive change. The hosts explore how everyday actions, such as equitable caregiving and authentic self-expression, contribute to this transformative power.

10. Legacy and Continued Activism

In the concluding moments, Gloria reflects on her enduring legacy and the vital role of authenticity and community in sustaining the feminist movement. The hosts pay tribute to Gloria's influence on their lives and the broader movement, highlighting the ongoing need for inclusive and joyful activism.

[54:48] Abby Wambach: "So your voice. Giving women a platform gave the 1972 Title IX law traction. That gave me a chance."

Gloria expresses gratitude for the progress made and emphasizes the importance of continuing to create spaces where women can vote for themselves and live authentically.

Key Takeaways

• Authenticity and Vulnerability: Creating safe spaces for genuine expression fosters collective understanding and strengthens social movements.

• Intersectionality: True feminism must embrace and address the diverse experiences and challenges faced by all women, dismantling exclusive practices like white feminism.

• Power Redefined: Power should be viewed as the ability to create equality and kindness rather than domination, emphasizing collaborative and supportive structures.

• Sustaining Activism: Building strong, supportive communities is essential for preventing burnout and maintaining long-term commitment to social justice causes.

• Role of Laughter: Authentic laughter serves as a powerful tool for resilience and communal bonding, reinforcing freedom and resistance against oppression.

• Reproductive Justice: Control over reproductive rights is fundamental to achieving gender equality and dismantling patriarchal systems.

Notable Quotes

• Gloria Steinem on Talking Circles:
  "[10:22] Gloria Steinem: I think this simple act, whether it's a talking circle or two women at a kitchen table or whatever it is, of being able to tell the truth about your feelings and your life experience and be heard and hear someone else's truth is how we understand the collective truth."

• Gloria Steinem on Laughter:
  "[12:00] Gloria Steinem: Laughter turns out to be the one emotion that can't be compelled. It's a proof of freedom."

• Gloria Steinem on Power:
  "[49:21] Gloria Steinem: But I'd like to have the power to do, you know, to create more equality and kindness in whatever the institution is."

• Gloria Steinem on Feminism's Inclusivity:
  "[25:03] Gloria Steinem: If feminism doesn't include all women, it's not feminism. There really is no such thing as white feminism."

• Gloria Steinem on Reproductive Justice:
  "[22:31] Gloria Steinem: The very definition of patriarchy is controlling women's bodies as the means of reproduction because we happen to have wombs."

Conclusion

This episode of We Can Do Hard Things offers an enriching exploration of Gloria Steinem's enduring wisdom and the multifaceted nature of the feminist movement. Through personal anecdotes, critical analysis, and heartfelt dialogue, the hosts and Gloria illuminate the pathways to a more inclusive, joyful, and authentic liberation. The conversation serves as both a tribute to Gloria's pioneering efforts and a call to action for continued solidarity and self-expression in the pursuit of equality and justice.