**Podcast Summary: "We Can Do Hard Things" – Episode: How to Be More Alive with Cole Arthur Riley (Best Of)
Release Date: January 12, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Guest: Cole Arthur Riley, Author of this Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories that Make Us
Introduction
In this poignant episode of We Can Do Hard Things, hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with Cole Arthur Riley, the acclaimed author of this Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories that Make Us. The discussion navigates through themes of dignity, liberation, the intricacies of the human body, the significance of place, and the profound concept of wonder. Riley's work, which intertwines personal narratives with spiritual contemplation, serves as the foundation for exploring how to truly live a more alive and authentic life.
Announcing the Next Right Book: this Here Flesh
Amanda Doyle introduces Cole Arthur Riley’s book as the episode's focal point, declaring it the "Next Right Book" and emphasizing its importance as a sacred text rather than just a conventional book. This sets the stage for an in-depth exploration of Riley's insights on living authentically amidst life's inherent challenges.
Notable Quote:
Amanda Doyle [03:14]: "The Next Next Rite book. This might be the only damn Next Rite book you ever get."
Defining Contemplative Practice
The conversation delves into the meaning of being contemplative. Riley challenges the conventional notion of contemplation as mere intellectual or silent reflection, suggesting it encompasses a sacred attention to both the external world and one's internal state.
Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach [05:53]: "To me, I thought a contemplative was like the people who go off and sit in silence in an empty room and just think for hours on end."
The Intersection of Awe and Anxiety
Riley and the hosts explore the delicate balance between awe and anxiety. They discuss how deep attention and presence can simultaneously evoke feelings of fear and wonder, highlighting the complexity of human emotions.
Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach [14:42]: "I think there's something about awe and fear, that they're operating the same muscle almost."
The Role of Dignity in Liberation
A significant portion of the discussion centers on dignity as the foundational element for liberation. Riley shares personal anecdotes, including a transformative childhood experience where her father responded to her distress not with affirmations but with physical comfort, fostering a profound sense of unashamed self-acceptance.
Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach [33:11]: "If you don't understand that there is something inherent that can't be taken from you, it makes it very hard to even want liberation."
Intergenerational Trauma and Body Image
Riley poignantly addresses intergenerational trauma and its impact on body image and self-perception. She recounts her grandmother's struggle with body shame and her own battle with bulimia, illustrating how early experiences of shame can lead to long-term disconnection from one's body.
Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach [47:35]: "I think that distance can become disdain. That's it."
Connection to Place and Land Stewardship
The conversation shifts to the concept of place and our relationship with the land. Riley discusses her experiences with land ownership, highlighting a shift from seeing land as something to possess to viewing it as a space to nurture and protect. This perspective fosters a deeper connection to both the environment and one's sense of belonging.
Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach [59:37]: "Whenever I prune the path, whenever I bend down on the reeds and start picking the reeds to clear the path, I do that out of my own love. It's a very mysterious restoration."
Embracing Wonder as a Way of Being Alive
Riley emphasizes the importance of wonder in cultivating a richer, more alive existence. She contrasts the typical way people seek wonder in grand achievements or acquisitions with a more authentic appreciation for everyday beauty and human connection.
Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach [73:33]: "I think it's really difficult. I mean, if you're witnessing beauty, I think you're gonna be inclined to protect it."
Belonging Without Sacrifice
The discussion culminates with the theme of belonging, where Riley advocates for a form of love and community that doesn't demand sacrifices or strict adherence to beliefs. She stresses the importance of mutual witnessing and the authenticity of relationships as essential for genuine belonging.
Notable Quote:
Amanda Doyle [85:54]: "Belonging is a love that does not require a sacrifice at the altar of acceptance."
Conclusion
The episode beautifully weaves personal narratives with profound philosophical insights, offering listeners a roadmap to navigate the complexities of being truly alive. By embracing dignity, fostering authentic connections, honoring one's relationship with the land, and cultivating a sense of wonder, Riley and the hosts inspire a transformative approach to life's challenges.
Final Notable Quote:
Avery Doyle [89:09]: "The rest of you get the book and then we'll see you here next time. Bye."
Key Takeaways
- Dignity as Foundation: Recognizing inherent self-worth is essential for any journey toward liberation and authentic living.
- Contemplative Presence: True contemplation involves a sacred attention to both the inner self and the external world, fostering deeper self-awareness.
- Awe and Anxiety: These emotions are intertwined, with deep attention capable of evoking both fear and profound wonder.
- Intergenerational Trauma: Early experiences of shame and body image issues can have lasting impacts, necessitating healing through self-acceptance.
- Connection to Place: Viewing land as a space to nurture rather than possess enhances our sense of belonging and responsibility towards the environment.
- Authentic Wonder: Embracing everyday beauty and human connections can lead to a more fulfilled and alive existence.
- Inclusive Belonging: Fostering communities based on mutual witnessing and authenticity without demanding sacrifices.
Recommended Listening:
For anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of life with authenticity and grace, this episode offers invaluable insights grounded in personal experience and profound reflection. Cole Arthur Riley's this Here Flesh is a must-read for those eager to embrace the hard yet rewarding journey of being truly alive.