Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things – "How to Heal with Alex Elle (Best of)"

Episode Information

• Title: How to Heal with Alex Elle (Best of)
• Release Date: December 11, 2024
• Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
• Guest: Alex Elle

Introduction to Healing with Alex Elle

The episode features a heartfelt discussion with Alex Elle, an author, certified breathwork coach, podcast host, and restorative WR teacher. Alex shares her profound journey of healing, emphasizing the complexities of personal growth and the importance of addressing deep-seated emotional wounds.

The Reality of Grieving and Healing Over Time

Abby Wambach opens the conversation by reflecting on her own experiences, expressing surprise at feeling closer to her childhood traumas in her 40s rather than expecting increased healing with age.

• Notable Quote:
  Abby Wambach [04:36]: "I am closer to my childhood traumas and crap than I have ever been, which to me felt like a bit of a failure."

Alex Elle confirms this trend, explaining that as one delves deeper into self-awareness and confronts past wounds, more layers of healing reveal themselves.

• Notable Quote:
  Alex Elle [05:56]: "The older you get, the more your childhood wounds surfaced. But also, I have the tools that I didn't have back then."

Intergenerational Healing and Breaking Cycles

Amanda Doyle probes into Alex's determination to break the cycle of survival-mode parenting observed in her family lineage. Alex shares her courage to parent differently despite societal and familial pressures.

• Notable Quote:
  Alex Elle [10:10]: "I refused to be who people said I was going to be because there was no way I was going to let anyone continue to tell me who I could and couldn't be."

She recounts her transformative relationship with her mother, highlighting the power of intentional healing and the impact it has on subsequent generations.

• Notable Quote:
  Alex Elle [13:29]: "When we heal ourselves, we heal our lineage. It's a love offering to the world."

Self-Soothing Techniques: Breathing, Walking, and Writing

A significant portion of the discussion centers around practical self-soothing strategies that Alex employs to maintain her mental and emotional well-being.

1. Intentional Breathing: Alex introduces "intentional breathing" as a cornerstone of her healing practice, detailing techniques like the box breath to manage anxiety and regain composure.

   • Notable Quote:
     Alex Elle [47:04]: "The box breath is my absolute favorite breath. Inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four. You can do it anywhere."

2. Walking as a Healing Practice: Inspired by fellow author Libby Delana, Alex describes how daily walking has become a ritual for self-discovery and emotional regulation.

   • Notable Quote:
     Alex Elle [53:20]: "Walking has shown me who I am. It has shown me that I don't have to know where I'm going."

3. Writing for Self-Advocacy: She emphasizes the importance of journaling and gratitude lists in fostering self-awareness and celebrating daily joys.

   • Notable Quote:
     Alex Elle [47:04]: "Writing is a way to talk to myself and keep a gratitude list simple. One thing a day that I'm grateful for."

Redefining Self-Soothing and Emotional Expression

The hosts delve into the societal perceptions of self-soothing methods and emotional expressions like crying. Alex advocates for redefining these practices as vital, life-giving acts rather than signs of weakness.

• Notable Quote:
  Alex Elle [55:52]: "Self soothing equals nourishment. How are we nourishing ourselves in a way that is healthy and sustainable?"

Abby Wambach parallels this by sharing her experiences with self-soothing habits and the importance of embracing vulnerability.

• Notable Quote:
  Abby Wambach [61:34]: "Crying is an actual biological healing. It's a baptism. It's getting it all out."

Practical Tips for Intentional Healing

The conversation culminates in actionable advice for listeners aiming to embark on their healing journeys:

1. Daily Self Check-Ins: Encouraging regular introspection to understand one's emotions and needs.

   • Notable Quote:
     Alex Elle [43:22]: "Who are you outside of your roles today? How are you feeling?"

2. Intentional Self-Care: Choosing deliberate actions that replenish and nourish the self, such as making tea, going for walks, or writing.

3. Acceptance and Boundary Setting: Recognizing the limits of what one can change in others and focusing on personal growth and healing.

   • Notable Quote:
     Alex Elle [26:11]: "Our work is to lead by example. Everything else is a bonus."

Conclusion: Embracing Continuous Healing

The episode wraps up with the hosts reiterating the importance of intentional, ongoing healing practices. They encourage listeners to take small, deliberate steps toward self-care, emphasizing that healing is a lifelong journey.

• Notable Quote:
  Alex Elle [68:12]: "Just pick one thing to do with intention today and you will have started your healing."

Final Takeaway:
Healing is not a linear process but a continuous, intentional practice involving self-awareness, vulnerability, and the adoption of healthy self-soothing techniques. By embracing these practices, individuals can break free from past traumas, foster intergenerational healing, and cultivate a more joyful and authentic life.

Highlighted Quotes:

• Abby Wambach [04:36]: "I am closer to my childhood traumas and crap than I have ever been, which to me felt like a bit of a failure."
• Alex Elle [05:56]: "The older you get, the more your childhood wounds surfaced. But also, I have the tools that I didn't have back then."
• Alex Elle [10:10]: "I refused to be who people said I was going to be because there was no way I was going to let anyone continue to tell me who I could and couldn't be."
• Alex Elle [47:04]: "The box breath is my absolute favorite breath. Inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four. You can do it anywhere."
• Alex Elle [55:52]: "Self soothing equals nourishment. How are we nourishing ourselves in a way that is healthy and sustainable?"
• Alex Elle [68:12]: "Just pick one thing to do with intention today and you will have started your healing."