Podcast Title: We Can Do Hard Things
Host/Author: Glennon Doyle and Audacy
Episode: How to Love Your Body Now with Carson Tueller (Best Of)
Release Date: May 24, 2025

Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle engage in a profound conversation with Carson Tueller, a coach, speaker, and activist who identifies as both queer and disabled. The discussion delves deep into themes of authenticity, body freedom, ableism, and the intersectionality of disability and queer identities. Through personal anecdotes and insightful dialogue, the trio and Carson explore the challenges and triumphs of embracing one's true self amidst societal constraints.

Carson Tueller’s Journey to Body Freedom

Carson Tueller begins by emphasizing the podcast’s mission to address hard truths and liberate listeners from societal cages. He states, “We’re introducing Carson to The POD Squad because he has found freedom in his body, teaching us all how to break free from the lies that keep us feeling unworthy” (02:00).

Carson shares his background, revealing that his journey toward powerful living began in 2013 after coming out as queer and subsequently experiencing a life-altering accident that left him paralyzed from the chest down. Despite these challenges, Carson has dedicated himself to empowering others through his work with international nonprofits and presidential campaigns.

Navigating the Haunted House and the Castle Metaphor

Amanda Doyle introduces the metaphor of the "haunted house" and the "castle" to describe the fluctuating experiences of living with disability. She explains, “I am in and out of the haunted house of my body stuff really frequently” (06:08). This metaphor captures the cyclical nature of grappling with physical limitations and embracing moments of wholeness and completeness.

Carson reflects on this by saying, “Life is just this eternity loop back and forth from the haunted house to the castle” (06:40), highlighting the ongoing struggle between moments of despair and empowerment.

Coming Out as Queer in the Mormon Church

The conversation shifts to Amanda’s experience growing up as a queer Mormon. She recounts, “I had told my parents in high school that I’m attracted to men” (10:53), and the subsequent internal conflict she faced between her faith and her identity. Amanda describes her mission to Chile as a suspended period where her sexuality was less of a concern, only to confront it upon returning home.

Amanda shares a pivotal moment when she decided to embrace her authentic self, stating, “This is what's happening. I have such an aversion to hearing the I beat it story” (08:18). This decision marked the beginning of her journey toward living a truthfully self-expressed life despite the suffering and joy that accompanied it.

Dealing with Disability and Ableism

Amanda delves into the concept of ableism, explaining that much of her suffering stems not from her paralysis but from societal constructs that deem her body as "broken." She asserts, “Most of my suffering, especially once I had recovered, was all socially constructed. It was about feeling like something was wrong with me” (43:02).

Carson expands on this by comparing ableism to other forms of societal prejudice, reinforcing that it's not the disability itself but the societal attitudes that cause undue suffering.

Experiences in Dating and Sexuality as a Disabled Queer Person

The discussion moves to Amanda’s experiences with dating post-accident. She shares her fears and eventual triumphs in the dating scene, highlighting the importance of acting "as if someone will love and adore me, even if I don't feel that way" (30:26). Amanda describes her first date, where her partner was understanding and supportive, creating a positive and affirming experience.

When addressing sexuality, Amanda reveals that her lack of prior sexual experience and exposure to pornography allowed her to explore her sexuality freely. She states, “I found all of these really incredible ways to experience pleasure and orgasm in ways that weren't available to me before” (37:18). This exploration led to more fulfilling and communicative sexual relationships.

Internalized Ableism and Homophobia

Amanda discusses her ongoing struggle with internalized ableism and homophobia, particularly concerning traditional notions of masculinity. She reflects, “So much of masculinity is about what your body can do, and I can't do a whole lot” (58:58). This internal conflict impacts her self-perception and interactions within the queer community.

The Impact of Inspiration Porn

A significant portion of the conversation addresses "inspiration porn," a term coined by Stella Young to describe how disabled individuals are objectified and used to inspire abled people, often in demeaning ways. Amanda critiques this phenomenon, stating, “Inspiration porn presents itself in such a feel-good way but carries the most ableist messages” (51:32). She emphasizes the importance of seeing disabled individuals as whole persons rather than sources of inspiration for their struggles.

Advice for The POD Squad

In concluding the episode, Amanda offers heartfelt advice to listeners seeking to free themselves from societal constraints. She urges, “There is a you that is present and always speaking… knowing how to find that and hear it and then live consistently with it” (60:44). She encourages therapeutic practices, journaling, and coaching as means to connect with one’s authentic self.

Carson reinforces this by suggesting that listeners listen to their inner voice and dismiss external societal pressures that seek to define their worth based on arbitrary standards.

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with expressions of gratitude and mutual support among the hosts and Carson. Carson emphasizes the importance of the conversation being freeing and comforting for listeners, while Amanda and Glennon echo sentiments of love and appreciation for sharing such an intimate dialogue.

Notable Quotes

• Carson Tueller (02:00):
  “We’re introducing Carson to The POD Squad because he has found freedom in his body, teaching us all how to break free from the lies that keep us feeling unworthy.”

• Amanda Doyle (06:08):
  “I am in and out of the haunted house of my body stuff really frequently.”

• Amanda Doyle (10:53):
  “I’m gay, but I’m not gonna be gay. I’m just gonna feel gay.”

• Amanda Doyle (43:02):
  “Most of my suffering, especially once I had recovered, was all socially constructed. It was about feeling like something was wrong with me.”

• Amanda Doyle (37:18):
  “I found all of these really incredible ways to experience pleasure and orgasm in ways that weren't available to me before.”

• Amanda Doyle (51:32):
  “Inspiration porn presents itself in such a feel-good way but carries the most ableist messages.”

• Amanda Doyle (60:44):
  “There is a you that is present and always speaking… knowing how to find that and hear it and then live consistently with it.”

Final Thoughts

We Can Do Hard Things offers a raw and authentic exploration of the intersections between disability and queer identities. Through Carson Tueller’s inspiring journey and Amanda Doyle’s candid reflections, listeners gain valuable insights into overcoming societal barriers, embracing self-worth, and fostering meaningful connections. This episode serves as a powerful reminder that while life presents countless challenges, with courage and honesty, we can navigate them and live authentically.