Summary of "How to Parent While You Heal: Live on Tour" Episode from "We Can Do Hard Things" Podcast

Release Date: July 31, 2025

Introduction and Reflection on the Live Tour (02:11 - 04:32)

Amanda Doyle welcomes listeners back to the podcast, expressing immense gratitude for the overwhelming love and support received during their live episodes. She reflects on the significance of their "We Can Do Hard Things" tour, which aimed to create a sacred and joyful space amidst times of isolation, fear, and anxiety. Amanda highlights the transformative power of community, hope, and togetherness, emphasizing how these elements have been pivotal in navigating challenging times.

Amanda Doyle [02:20]: "And those are the things that are gonna get us through this. Every one of these nights reminded us of that connection and the power of being together and of feeling alive..."

Navigating Internalized Sexism and Personal Experiences (07:14 - 31:05)

Listeners engage with the hosts through heartfelt questions and personal stories, delving deep into topics like internalized sexism, fear, love, and the complexities of parenting while healing.

Listener Maggie's Query on Love and Fear:

Maggie shares her struggle with reconciling deep love for her transgender spouse with overwhelming fear due to societal challenges. She seeks advice on balancing these intense emotions.

Maggie [07:14]: "How do I reconcile deep love that has turned into such deep fear?"

Response from Tish Melton:

Tish eloquently addresses the intertwined nature of love and fear, emphasizing that true bravery lies in maintaining love despite fear. She underscores the importance of community and collective resistance against efforts to erase marginalized identities.

Tish Melton [08:14]: "Love is the opposite of fear. It always has been. And you know how much you love them, and you're gonna keep showing up because of that love."

Abby's Insight on Balancing Parenting and Self-Parenting:

Maggie further explores the challenge of parenting children while simultaneously healing oneself, questioning how to embrace self-care without neglecting parental responsibilities.

Maggie [17:41]: "How do you not only parent your kids the way that you wish you had been parented, but also at the exact same time, parent yourself the way that you wish you had been parented?"

Abby's Reflection on Self-Care in Motherhood:

Abby shares her personal struggle with balancing maternal instincts and self-healing, illustrating the constant interplay between caring for her children and tending to her own emotional needs.

Abby Wambach [20:07]: "I have a good instinct for what they need. Then I remember, oh, now I give that to myself. Yes, that gentleness, that forgiveness, that caring, that is what I need right now."

Redefining Bravery and Healing from Within (31:05 - 36:19)

The conversation shifts towards redefining what it means to be brave, especially in the context of personal healing and overcoming past traumas.

Abby's Definition of Bravery:

Abby recounts her journey through relapse and how she learned to recognize and manage the influence of her younger self that surfaces during moments of fear. She redefines bravery as the ability to take control of her actions and set boundaries, ensuring that her adult self remains at the wheel.

Abby Wambach [32:26]: "So I just pulled over, took a minute, said, thanks, sweetheart. Like, I know that you think that this is how we stay safe, but I have some bigger, more beautiful ideas for us."

Building and Sustaining Community Support (36:19 - 50:35)

Listeners continue to share their experiences, seeking guidance on building supportive communities and friendships that sustain them through life's challenges.

Listener's Struggle with Lack of Village Support:

A listener, a dean at a law school and primary caregiver to a terminally ill parent and neurodivergent children, expresses difficulty in finding a supportive community in the absence of traditional support systems like PTAs or church groups. She poses a poignant question about managing hard times without a readily available village.

Listener [47:53]: "How do the rest of us do in the meantime when we don't have a village around us to help support us while we're doing the hard things?"

Tish's Thoughtful Response on Friendship and Community:

Tish addresses the listener's concerns by sharing her own revelations about the true essence of friendship—not just as a support during crises but as a source of energy and lightness in daily life. She encourages embracing the "magic" of genuine friendships that offer mutual support and joy.

Tish Melton [50:43]: "Having friends is what makes life bearable. It's not that, like, they show up when it is. It's some kind of magic magnifier... You have energy... it’s magic."

Closing Remarks and Inspirational Messages (50:35 - End)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts express heartfelt gratitude towards their listeners—referred to affectionately as the "Pod Squad." They reiterate their commitment to supporting each other through life's challenges and end the episode with an empowering affirmation.

Abby Wambach [53:35]: "Thank you, Pod Squad. Thank you for showing up and for helping us stay human with your brave and beautiful questions."

The episode concludes with a moving musical performance by Brandi Carlile, encapsulating the theme of overcoming adversity and embracing one's journey.

Key Takeaways

• Resilience Through Community: Building and maintaining a supportive community is crucial for navigating life's hard times.

• Balancing Love and Fear: Understanding that love and fear are interconnected emotions can help in managing personal relationships and internal struggles.

• Redefining Bravery: Bravery is not just about grand gestures but also about taking control of one's actions and setting healthy boundaries.

• Authentic Friendships: Genuine friendships provide not only support during crises but also enrich day-to-day life with joy and energy.

• Parenting While Healing: Effective parenting involves simultaneously addressing one's own need for healing and providing for the emotional well-being of children.

Notable Quotes

1. Maggie on Love and Fear:

   "How do I reconcile deep love that has turned into such deep fear?"
   [07:14]

2. Tish on Love as the Opposite of Fear:

   "Love is the opposite of fear. It always has been. And you know how much you love them, and you're gonna keep showing up because of that love."
   [08:14]

3. Maggie on Parenting and Self-Care:

   "How do you not only parent your kids the way that you wish you had been parented, but also at the exact same time, parent yourself the way that you wish you had been parented?"
   [17:41]

4. Abby on Bravery:

   "So I just pulled over, took a minute, said, thanks, sweetheart. Like, I know that you think that this is how we stay safe, but I have some bigger, more beautiful ideas for us."
   [32:26]

5. Tish on the Magic of Friendships:

   "Having friends is what makes life bearable. It's not that, like, they show up when it is. It's some kind of magic magnifier... You have energy... it’s magic."
   [50:43]

This episode of "We Can Do Hard Things" poignantly addresses the intricate balance between personal healing and the responsibilities of parenting. Through heartfelt conversations and shared experiences, Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle offer insightful perspectives on overcoming internalized societal pressures, fostering authentic connections, and redefining what it means to bravely navigate life's challenges.