We Can Do Hard Things Podcast: How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things with Sonya Renee Taylor

Release Date: February 18, 2025

In this deeply insightful episode of We Can Do Hard Things, host Glennon Doyle, along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle, engage in a meaningful conversation with Sonya Renee Taylor, renowned author and advocate for radical self-love. The episode delves into the challenging yet essential task of discussing difficult topics with children, such as climate change, sex, racism, and emotional well-being. Sonya Renee Taylor provides practical strategies and heartfelt advice to equip parents and guardians with the tools needed to navigate these conversations authentically and effectively.

1. Navigating the Climate Crisis with Children

Abby Wambach opens the discussion amidst growing climate concerns, highlighting the urgency of communicating these realities to the younger generation. She expresses gratitude for Sonya's presence, emphasizing the importance of honest dialogue without imposing rigid narratives.

Abby Wambach [04:35]: "Sonya, the reason why I am so grateful that you're here is that we are also people who are watching this all happen around us. And for many of us, the most important part of this is how on earth, literally, do we speak of this to our children?"

Sonya Renee Taylor responds by advocating for truth-telling as a foundation for building resilience and imagination in children. She underscores the detrimental effects of shielding kids from harsh realities, arguing that honesty prepares them better for the world they inhabit.

Sonya Renee Taylor [06:40]: "We have been talking about our dear friend Adrienne Maree Brown, and how she's been telling us to, you know, gather your people, get your go bags... set a different narrative."

She emphasizes the power of young people’s innate creativity and their ability to envision a sustainable future when guided by honest and supportive adults.

2. The Role of Reliable Narrators in Parenting

A pivotal concept introduced by Sonya is that of adults serving as "reliable narrators" for children. This means consistently providing truthful and compassionate narratives about the world, enabling children to develop self-trust and critical thinking skills.

Sonya Renee Taylor [11:22]: "If we don't tell the truth, we become unreliable narrators of the world."

Amanda Doyle adds that failing to be reliable narrators can lead children to internalize unfairness and blame themselves for external injustices.

Amanda Doyle [12:22]: "You have to find a way to be a reliable narrator so that when something hurts them, they don't think it's their fault."

3. Initiating Conversations About Sex

Transitioning to more personal topics, Abby asks Sonya how to approach conversations about sex with children. Sonya advocates for a two-pronged approach: addressing both the biological aspects and the emotional connections involved in sexual relationships.

Sonya Renee Taylor [21:10]: "Our bodies were made to experience pleasure... it's about our right to pleasure in our bodies and to connect with each other."

She recommends starting these conversations early and tailoring them to be age-appropriate, ensuring that the information is clear and devoid of unnecessary fear.

Sonya Renee Taylor [23:29]: "As soon as your young person has access to externalized information, I believe that's when you should start having these conversations at age appropriate levels."

4. Addressing the Impact of Pornography

Abby inquires about the implications of pornography on children's understanding of sex. Sonya warns against the commercialization and distortion of sexual experiences through pornography, stressing the importance of guiding children towards healthy and consensual views of sexuality.

Sonya Renee Taylor [25:12]: "Pornography gives us a distorted view about what sex really is... it's used for money, not connection."

She advises parents to discuss the realities of porn critically, helping children differentiate between genuine connections and commodified sexual interactions.

5. Evolving Conversations with Growing Children

As children mature, so do their questions and understandings. Sonya emphasizes the importance of adaptability in conversations, likening the process to software updates that ensure ongoing relevance and effectiveness.

Sonya Renee Taylor [33:27]: "If we don't transform, then we beget all of our trauma and disconnection... it's our job to transform first."

This approach allows parents to remain relatable and trustworthy as their children’s perspectives evolve.

6. Supporting Children Through Social Challenges

The discussion shifts to handling situations where children experience exclusion or bullying. Sonya highlights the significance of empathy and reframing negative experiences to prevent long-lasting self-blame.

Sonya Renee Taylor [52:25]: "There's a place in me that absolutely understands that. And so the first location is just deep empathy and witnessing."

She advocates for guiding children to see beyond isolated incidents, fostering a resilient self-image that is not tied to the actions of others.

7. Cultivating Critical Thinking and Compassion

Sonya underlines the need for fostering critical thinking and compassion within children, enabling them to question societal norms and injustices rather than internalizing unfair treatments.

Sonya Renee Taylor [40:38]: "Young people are naturally, you know, like, they're inquisitive and naturally relatively compassionate."

By encouraging open dialogue and modeling vulnerability, parents can nurture a generation capable of thoughtful and compassionate action.

8. Authenticity Over Perfection in Parenting Conversations

In concluding the discussion, Sonya stresses that being a "reliable narrator" does not equate to being a perfect one. Authenticity and connection take precedence over having all the answers, allowing for genuine and supportive interactions.

Sonya Renee Taylor [60:26]: "Your job is to be as authentic as you can be inside of the connection... it's okay to be fumbly and messy."

This authentic approach ensures that children feel heard and supported, fostering a secure environment for navigating life's complexities.

Key Takeaways

• Honest Communication: Engaging in truthful conversations about difficult topics prepares children to face reality with resilience and creativity.

• Reliable Narrators: Parents and guardians should consistently provide accurate and compassionate narratives to build trust and self-awareness in children.

• Age-Appropriate Discussions: Tailoring conversations to be suitable for a child's developmental stage ensures clarity and reduces unnecessary fear.

• Empathy and Reframing: Addressing negative experiences with empathy helps prevent self-blame and encourages a positive self-image.

• Critical Thinking and Compassion: Encouraging children to question and think critically fosters a generation capable of compassionate action and societal improvement.

• Authenticity in Conversations: Being genuine and connected in discussions, rather than seeking perfection, strengthens the parent-child relationship and supports meaningful dialogue.

Conclusion

This episode of We Can Do Hard Things provides invaluable insights into the delicate art of parenting amid challenging societal and personal issues. Sonya Renee Taylor's expertise and compassionate approach offer a roadmap for parents striving to equip their children with the tools necessary to navigate a complex world with honesty, resilience, and love. By embracing these strategies, adults can help cultivate a generation of empowered and compassionate individuals ready to tackle hard things with grace and courage.

Quote Highlights:

• Sonya Renee Taylor [06:40]: "It is possible to say to young people, here's what we have been doing and here is what it's created. Here is where we got it wrong."

• Abby Wambach [10:12]: "They will not believe our what could be if they don't believe our what is is."

• Sonya Renee Taylor [16:22]: "The answer isn't that we don't know. There are things we do know and we just don't like the answer."

• Sonya Renee Taylor [25:20]: "Pornography gives us a distorted view about what sex really is."

• Sonya Renee Taylor [60:26]: "Your job is to be as authentic as you can be inside of the connection."

For those seeking to deepen their understanding and enhance their ability to discuss hard topics with their children, Sonya Renee Taylor's book, The Book of Radical Answers, comes highly recommended. It serves as a practical guide curated from genuine questions children are asking, providing a foundation for ongoing and evolving conversations.