Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things – Episode featuring Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Why We All Lie & How Honest Can We Be? (Best Of)"
Release Date: April 12, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Guest: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Introduction to Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Amanda Doyle opens the episode by warmly introducing Julia Louis-Dreyfus, highlighting her illustrious career, including her roles in iconic shows like Seinfeld, Veep, and The New Adventures of Old Christine. She acknowledges Julia’s impressive achievements, such as winning 11 Emmys and receiving the White House's National Medal of Arts, underscoring her impact on the arts in the United States.
Notable Quote:
Amanda Doyle [02:04]: “We all know her as one of Hollywood's most influential iconic actors and producers.”
The Power of Female Humor
The conversation delves into the significance of women embracing their sense of humor. Abby Wambach shares her personal journey of recognizing humor as a powerful trait, especially nurtured in an all-girls educational environment. Julia echoes this sentiment, discussing how attending an all-girls school fostered her assertiveness and ability to be outspoken.
Notable Quotes:
Abby Wambach [04:17]: “I'm funny enough to have it be one of my favorite things about myself.”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [07:02]: “I do believe it's a powerful way to communicate. And I think there are certain boys that can be threatened by that.”
Navigating Family Relationships and Therapy
Julia shares a poignant moment about initiating therapy with her mother at the age of 60. She recounts receiving a heartfelt letter from her mother, leading to their decision to seek therapy together. This segment emphasizes the importance of open communication and the courage to address unresolved familial issues.
Notable Quotes:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [09:14]: “It was really a wonderful experience. Hard, hard, but also ultimately very gratifying.”
Amanda Doyle [12:52]: “It's beautiful to normalize the idea of the review of the... being open to later with your adult children.”
Balancing Motherhood and Career
The hosts explore Julia’s experiences as a working mother, balancing a demanding career while raising her children. Julia candidly discusses the perpetual struggle of balancing professional aspirations with parental responsibilities, advocating for the acceptance of imperfections in parenting.
Notable Quotes:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [13:53]: “Nothing's perfect. You are gonna fuck up as a parent under all circumstances.”
Amanda Doyle [22:30]: “It's a monster transition” when children leave for college.
Understanding and Accepting a Complex Father
Julia opens up about her relationship with her father, describing him as a charismatic yet narcissistic figure who struggled with unresolved childhood trauma. This honesty sheds light on the complexities of familial love and the journey towards understanding and forgiving a flawed parent.
Notable Quotes:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [18:19]: “He was super interesting... but I reconciled that by understanding his limitations.”
Amanda Doyle [20:46]: “Just relax.”
Julia's Battle with Breast Cancer
A deeply personal section where Julia discusses her breast cancer diagnosis following an Emmy win for Veep. She parallels her experience with a life-threatening situation she faced while snorkeling, emphasizing the mental fortitude required to navigate such challenges.
Notable Quotes:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [34:27]: “I kept my mind on that ladder, and that is what I'm about.”
Abby Wambach [38:39]: “The only thing you can control is your movement and your focus.”
Launching "Wiser Than Me" Podcast
Julia introduces her new podcast, Wiser Than Me, a series of candid conversations with women over 70. Inspired by the lack of narratives from older women, the podcast aims to uncover wisdom and life lessons from their rich experiences.
Notable Quotes:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [25:31]: “Older women are this demographic... an untapped natural resource that we have as a culture.”
Amanda Doyle [27:35]: “These are the stories we need.”
Discussing Her New Film: "You Hurt My Feelings"
The discussion shifts to Julia’s latest film, You Hurt My Feelings, where she plays a character grappling with the realization that her husband has not been truthful about his opinions of her work. The conversation highlights themes of honesty, love, and the impact of small lies in relationships.
Notable Quotes:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [46:50]: “The notion that her husband has not been telling her the truth about her writing is... gutting.”
Amanda Doyle [47:39]: “Is unfiltered truth what we need? Or is love the filter that we put on the truth?”
Long-Term Marriage Insights
Julia reflects on her 36-year marriage, emphasizing the strength and resilience built through shared experiences. She credits her successful partnership to having the right partner and trusting her instincts when they married young.
Notable Quotes:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [52:10]: “We've been through so much life arm in arm, and that is just magnificent.”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [53:12]: “I have pretty good instincts.”
Closing Remarks and Gratitude
In wrapping up, the hosts express their deep appreciation for Julia's contributions to the arts and her openness in sharing her personal struggles and triumphs. Julia reciprocates the gratitude, highlighting the meaningful connections forged through the conversation.
Notable Quotes:
Glennon Doyle [53:34]: “I know that you have had to go through so much bullshit being a successful woman. I just wanted to say thank you.”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [54:07]: “Thank you. That's so nice of you to say.”
Key Themes and Insights
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Authenticity and Honesty: The episode underscores the importance of being truthful with oneself and loved ones, while also acknowledging the complexity of navigating truth in relationships.
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Mental Resilience: Julia’s experiences with therapy and battling cancer illustrate the strength required to face life’s adversities head-on.
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Generational Wisdom: Through her new podcast, Julia emphasizes the value of learning from the experiences of older women, bridging generational gaps with shared stories.
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Balancing Personal and Professional Life: The struggles and triumphs of managing a demanding career alongside motherhood are candidly discussed, offering relatability and encouragement to listeners.
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Complex Family Dynamics: The conversation delves into understanding flawed parents, seeking therapy, and the journey towards acceptance and forgiveness.
Conclusion
This episode of We Can Do Hard Things offers a profound and candid exploration of honesty, resilience, and the multifaceted nature of human relationships. Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s openness about her personal challenges, coupled with the hosts’ insightful questions, provides listeners with valuable lessons on navigating the hard things in life with courage and authenticity.
Notable Moment Timestamps:
- [02:04] Amanda introduces Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
- [07:02] Discussion on women and humor.
- [09:14] Julia talks about starting therapy with her mother.
- [13:53] Balancing motherhood and career.
- [18:19] Understanding her complex father.
- [34:27] Julia shares her breast cancer journey.
- [25:31] Introduction to Wiser Than Me podcast.
- [46:50] Insights into her new film.
- [52:10] Reflections on her long-term marriage.
- [53:34] Closing gratitude and remarks.
Note: This summary excludes all advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content sections to focus solely on the meaningful conversations and insights shared during the episode.