We Can Do Hard Things: LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Release Date: February 25, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Guests: Brandi Carlile, Kathryn Carlile, Tish Melton

1. Setting the Scene: A Vibrant Gathering in Mexico [01:48 - 04:05]

The episode kicks off with Glennon Doyle welcoming listeners to a special live recording of We Can Do Hard Things from a lively music festival in Mexico. This event, organized by Brandi Carlile and Catherine Carlile, marks the first large-scale live recording for the podcast, drawing thousands of attendees united by a shared vision of creating an "irresistible revolution."

Glennon Doyle:
"We're just here with thousands of gorgeous, irresistible human beings who are hell bent on creating what we discuss as an irresistible revolution."
[02:28]

2. Embracing Joy Through Music: The Impact of Muna [03:28 - 06:24]

The conversation shifts to the significance of the band Muna, whose joyful expression of queerness resonates deeply with the hosts and the audience. Glennon shares how Muna's music, particularly songs like "Silk Chiffon," showcases queerness as fun and beautiful, contrasting the often traumatic narratives in queer art.

Glennon Doyle:
"What I loved about Muna was that their expression of queerness is so joyful. Sometimes I feel like it's such a beautiful thing for young queer people to just see the joy."
[05:16]

Brandi Carlile:
"Don't worry, folks. I was sitting right there the whole time. I don't believe that Glennon wants Muna as her sexuality."
[05:34]

3. Building and Sustaining Community [13:14 - 38:34]

Brandi, Kathryn, and Tish delve into the essence of community, emphasizing the intentional creation and maintenance of supportive environments. Kathryn reflects on immigrating and integrating into Brandi's established community, highlighting the seamless embrace she experienced.

Kathryn Carlile:
"It was just brandy. And she already had this established community and family and friends around her. They fully embraced me."
[33:56]

Tish expands on the natural, almost instinctual connection people form within the community, drawing parallels to swarm intelligence in nature.

Tish Melton:
"It's a group of thousands of people who are witnessing and enduring a world adjacent to turmoil, coming together for four days every year, not to leave their emotions at the door, but to fully bring them in."
[18:17]

The hosts discuss the challenges of maintaining energy in large communities, especially for empaths, and strategies to manage social exhaustion.

Glennon Doyle:
"It can be a lot for people. What about community is hard for you too?"
[39:26]

4. Navigating Personal Grief and Growth [45:01 - 51:29]

The conversation takes a poignant turn as Brandi shares her experience with grief following her brother Peter’s passing. Glennon recounts a comforting moment where Brandi helped her reframe her fear of death through a meaningful story about St. Peter.

Brandi Carlile:
"My brother's death is such a big lesson that time will go by quickly unless you're paying attention."
[50:14]

Glennon Doyle:
"I have never met anyone who does community like you two."
[33:19]

5. Addressing Political Exhaustion and Maintaining Resilience [60:00 - 66:24]

Crystal, a longtime pod squad member, opens up about her political exhaustion and the challenge of staying engaged without succumbing to numbness. The hosts brainstorm ways to stay informed and resist fascism without draining their emotional reserves.

Crystal:
"I'm fighting the urge to just hide, to just check out, to go away."
[60:27]

Glennon Doyle:
"It's time to figure something else out... We're gonna build it. We'll do it together."
[65:57]

6. Listener Questions: Parenting, Identity, and Forgiveness [73:03 - 76:03]

Listeners submit heartfelt questions about parenting after expanding a family, reconciling past identities with present selves, and the process of forgiveness in relationships.

Listener Question on Parenting:
"What advice would you give somebody that currently might identify as queer because they don't fit in any sort of box with their identity, with gender, and also coming to their queerness later in life and how you reconcile your past with what it is now?"
[72:59 - 73:03]

Discussion on Forgiveness:
Tish and Glennon discuss the radical nature of forgiveness, both of oneself and others, emphasizing self-compassion and growth.

Glennon Doyle:
"When you think about it, we're always just doing the best we can. A new version of you is looking back at an old version of you and saying, oh, I wish I didn't do that. All that is is proof of growth."
[75:31]

Tish Melton:
"The most radical thing you can do is to forgive yourself and forgive someone else."
[73:21]

7. Exploring Gender and Sexuality [66:02 - 73:03]

A listener shares her complex feelings about gender, rejecting traditional binary labels in favor of personalized, meaningful expressions. The hosts engage with her narrative, validating her journey towards authentic self-expression.

Listener's Reflection:
"My gender is Trojan Horse... I don't know how to be in a space with men and not feel myself in a violent situation."
[72:38 - 73:04]

Glennon Doyle:
"I think one of your instincts to stop exposing yourself to this shit is really, really good. Stay informed in a way that doesn't hijack your nervous system."
[62:02]

8. Conclusion and Final Messages [76:03 - End]

As the episode winds down, Glennon and the team address the sunsetting of Together Rising, directing listeners to the Looking Out Foundation for continued support. They urge listeners to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast to sustain its mission.

Glennon Doyle:
"If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things: follow, rate, and share."
[80:09]

Closing Remarks:
The hosts express gratitude, reinforcing their commitment to supporting listeners through shared vulnerabilities and collective strength.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Glennon Doyle:
  "What I loved about Muna was that their expression of queerness is so joyful."
  [05:16]

• Brandi Carlile:
  "Don't worry, folks. I was sitting right there the whole time. I don't believe that Glennon wants Muna as her sexuality."
  [05:34]

• Tish Melton:
  "It's a group of thousands of people who are witnessing and enduring a world adjacent to turmoil, coming together for four days every year."
  [18:17]

• Glennon Doyle:
  "It can be a lot for people. What about community is hard for you too?"
  [39:26]

• Brandi Carlile:
  "My brother's death is such a big lesson that time will go by quickly unless you're paying attention."
  [50:14]

• Tish Melton:
  "The most radical thing you can do is to forgive yourself and forgive someone else."
  [73:21]

• Glennon Doyle:
  "When you think about it, we're always just doing the best we can. A new version of you is looking back at an old version of you and saying, oh, I wish I didn't do that. All that is is proof of growth."
  [75:31]

• Glennon Doyle:
  "If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things: follow, rate, and share."
  [80:09]

Key Takeaways

• Community as Resistance: The gathering in Mexico exemplifies creating a supportive, vibrant community as a form of resistance and positive revolution.

• Joyful Queerness: Embracing and celebrating queerness through joyful expression challenges the often trauma-focused narratives in queer spaces.

• Managing Empathic Exhaustion: Strategies for empaths to engage in large communities without depleting their emotional reserves.

• Grief and Growth: Personal stories highlight the journey through grief, emphasizing growth and the evolving understanding of loss.

• Political Resilience: Addressing political fatigue by finding ways to stay informed and engaged without overwhelming one's emotional well-being.

• Authentic Self-Expression: Encouraging listeners to move beyond traditional gender binaries and embrace personalized expressions of identity.

• Forgiveness as Liberation: Highlighting the importance of forgiving oneself and others as a path to personal liberation and growth.

We Can Do Hard Things continues to foster an environment where listeners can explore deeply personal and communal challenges, offering support, shared experiences, and actionable insights to navigate the complexities of life.