We Can Do Hard Things: Episode Summary – "Living with Bipolar Disorder: Cameron Esposito"

Podcast Information:

• Title: We Can Do Hard Things
• Hosts/Authors: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle
• Description: A heartfelt exploration of life's challenges, where the hosts and guests drop the facade to discuss topics like mental health, relationships, and personal growth with honesty and humor.
• Episode: Living with Bipolar Disorder: Cameron Esposito
• Release Date: June 5, 2025

Introduction of the Guest: Cameron Esposito [02:13]

The episode features comedian, actor, writer, and author Cameron Esposito. Known for her stand-up specials, acting roles on platforms like Netflix and Hulu, and her bestselling book Save Yourself: Love, Accept, and Live Your Truth, Cameron joins the hosts to discuss her personal journey with bipolar disorder.

Cameron Esposito: "Cameron Esposito released their newest standup special, 4 Pills, about being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 40 on comedy streaming service Dropout."

Amanda Doyle’s Experience with Bipolar Disorder [03:17]

Amanda Doyle shares her personal struggles leading up to her bipolar diagnosis. She describes the overwhelming pressure of landing a significant role on a network drama, compounded by the isolation of the pandemic. Amanda recounts how her increasing energy and risky behaviors persisted for 18 months, ultimately leading to her seeking rehab and receiving a bipolar diagnosis.

Amanda Doyle: "So about three years ago, I had this big TV show, 'A Million Things' on ABC... I found that very overwhelming... I noticed an increase in energy and ideas and risky behaviors that persisted for like, 18 months."
[06:39]

The Journey to Diagnosis and Recovery [05:05]

Amanda discusses the process of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She highlights the rarity of accessible information on the experience and emphasizes the importance of recognizing symptoms such as feeling driven by a motor. Amanda reflects on how medication has helped her achieve a more normative experience of energy and thought patterns, though it has also introduced challenges in her comedic performance.

Amanda Doyle: "Being medicated, I feel that I'm having an experience that's a little bit closer to what might be a normative set of brain chemicals... but the goal is not to be cured."
[09:13]

Impact on Career and Creative Expression [13:17]

The conversation delves into how bipolar disorder has affected Amanda’s career as a stand-up comedian. She explains that medication-induced brain fog and cognitive delays have altered her performance style, making it harder to deliver jokes seamlessly. Despite these challenges, Amanda finds that audiences are understanding and even supportive, allowing her to interact more authentically on stage.

Amanda Doyle: "I have notes, I will just openly ask, 'What was I talking about?' And then people will want to jump in. It's kind of a fun thing."
[31:30]

Personal Relationships and Emotional Impact [21:02]

Amanda addresses the strain her bipolar disorder placed on her marriage. She discusses how her manic episodes led to periods where she was emotionally and mentally absent, leaving her wife, Katie, to cope with the fallout. This experience underscores the complexities of supporting a loved one with a mental health condition.

Amanda Doyle: "I wasn't there for 18 months of our marriage... I was present physically and spiritually in a different way."
[21:15]

Coping Mechanisms and Lifestyle Adjustments [30:37]

The dialogue explores the various coping strategies Amanda employs to manage her bipolar disorder. From gardening to modifying her stand-up routines, Amanda illustrates how she adapts her lifestyle to maintain stability. She also touches on the spiritual aspects of her experience, finding balance through community and personal growth.

Amanda Doyle: "I’m gardening a lot right now... Another one is hypersexuality, which we don't talk about a lot and again, is rewarded in this culture."
[45:31]

Acceptance and Moving Forward [39:25]

Amanda reflects on the relief that came with her diagnosis, allowing her to understand her behaviors and take responsibility for her actions. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and the ongoing journey of managing her condition with the support of medication and loved ones.

Amanda Doyle: "This has been so awesome also because... I could feel it in my chest. I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack... it was like, this cannot be right."
[26:42]

Insights and Final Thoughts [54:43]

In the closing segments, Amanda and Cameron discuss the deeper emotional and spiritual connections tied to their experiences with bipolar disorder. They highlight the importance of vulnerability, authentic connection, and the transformative power of understanding one's mental health.

Amanda Doyle: "The thing I think is that I am such good company and such a strong witness to my own experience."
[43:57]

Cameron Esposito: "The special is going to help a lot of people. And it's the good kind of help, which doesn't feel like helping. It feels like entertaining fun."
[52:57]

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding Bipolar Disorder: Amanda provides a personal account of living with bipolar disorder, shedding light on the challenges and triumphs associated with the condition.
• Impact on Career and Creativity: The disorder has significantly influenced Amanda's approach to comedy, introducing both obstacles and new forms of creative expression.
• Personal Relationships: Managing bipolar disorder has profound effects on personal relationships, highlighting the need for mutual support and understanding.
• Coping and Recovery: Medication and lifestyle adjustments play crucial roles in Amanda's journey towards stability and self-awareness.
• Emotional and Spiritual Growth: Embracing vulnerability and authentic connections fosters personal growth and deeper emotional resilience.

Notable Quotes:

• Amanda Doyle [06:39]:
  "I had to take myself to rehab. And so, you know, we can kind of pick up the story there. But rehab is the best."

• Amanda Doyle [09:25]:
  "The special is meant to... really is meant to show the stasis that somebody with bipolar disorder might be in."

• Cameron Esposito [25:09]:
  "Everyone I've ever loved, I'm sure, has experienced that."

• Amanda Doyle [26:58]:
  "I just knew something was not right. Like, this cannot be right."

• Cameron Esposito [34:34]:
  "I have to unmedicate myself because of my unmedicated being. I cry all the time."

• Amanda Doyle [50:40]:
  "The all my fault thing is pretty intense... but that's not who I am anymore."

Conclusion:

In this emotionally charged episode, Cameron Esposito and Amanda Doyle candidly discuss their battles and triumphs with bipolar disorder. Through humor, vulnerability, and deep introspection, they offer listeners a nuanced understanding of mental health challenges. The conversation underscores the importance of seeking help, the complexities of personal relationships affected by mental illness, and the ongoing journey towards self-acceptance and resilience.

For more insights and stories like this, tune into We Can Do Hard Things and join the conversation on navigating life's toughest challenges with honesty and heart.