Episode Overview

Podcast: We Can Do Hard Things
Episode: Martha Beck Changes Lives With This Question
Date: January 13, 2026
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Guest: Martha Beck

This episode revisits the very first conversation the Pod Squad had with the renowned author, life coach, and speaker, Martha Beck. As the new year begins, the hosts and Martha dive deeply into what it means to return to oneself, to move away from a life dictated by external consensus and instead follow the warmth of one’s own knowing—the central, life-changing question: "Does this feel warm or cold?" Through personal stories, practical advice, and Martha’s signature blend of wisdom and humor, the episode offers actionable insight into how anyone can start reconnecting with their truest self.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Returning to the Self: Warmth vs. Cold

• The Transformative Question (00:30–02:50)
  Glennon recalls a pivotal moment when Martha advised her to stop reasoning and instead ask, "When you think about going towards Abby...do you feel warm or cold?" Martha’s simple question redirected Glennon from her anxious thoughts back to her body’s wisdom.

  • Memorable Quote:
    Martha Beck: "Get back into your body, and for one moment, I need you to think about what feels warmer." (01:14)

• The Power of the Body’s Guidance
  This question—what feels warm and what feels cold—becomes a recurring theme throughout the episode as a shorthand for following one’s deepest wisdom.

2. Letting Go of Consensus Living

• Living by Others’ Expectations (07:44–09:29)
  Glennon describes being stuck in life because she tried to please everyone—her Christian friends said "stay," and her feminist friends said "leave." She realized neither group’s opinion was absolute:

  • Quote:
    Glennon: "Good, right, wrong—these are not real things. These are completely subjective...the barking sheepdogs that keep the herd in." (09:12)

• Consensus vs. Senses (10:11–11:22)
  Martha echoes:

  • Martha: "Don’t live by coming to consensus, live by coming to your senses." (10:18)

3. Rock Bottom, Suffering, and the Path to Knowing

• How We Lose Ourselves (22:43–24:48)
  Suffering signals being out of alignment with the true self. Martha encourages listeners to recognize suffering as a guide:
  • Martha: "The single sign that we've lost ourselves is suffering...It’s always telling me that I’ve lost myself." (22:52)

4. Practical Pathways Back to Self

• Expressing Rage and Writing the Truth (33:59–35:52)
  Martha’s advice for when you’re at your limit:

  • "Get out a piece of paper and write what you are sick of...the rage inside you is the wild animal saying ‘no.’" (34:29)

• Freedom as the Taste of Truth
  Memorable Quote:
  Martha: "Enlightenment always tastes of freedom. It may hurt, it may terrify, but it will feel like freedom." (35:52)

5. One Degree Turns: Small Steps to Change

• Accessible Action Steps (56:31–57:05)
  Martha offers a realistic way to begin, advocating for "one-degree turns":
  • Make a list of things you have to do and note which upsets you most.
  • Make another list of things that make you happy.
  • Replace 10 minutes of the worst task with 10 minutes of what you love each day.
  • Repeat weekly for a slow but massive course change.
  • Quote:
    Martha: “It’s like flying a plane 10,000 miles and you just turn one degree. Nobody even notices, but if you do that every week, you end up in a totally different place.” (57:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On following warmth
  Martha Beck: "I tell people just to love each other out loud." (15:23)
• On suffering and self-alignment
  Martha Beck: "Suffering is always a friend, it’s always an ally—it won’t let us continue to abandon our true selves." (23:30)
• On honest living
  Martha Beck: "The moment you start lying, your body starts going to hell, your immune system starts to crash." (40:43)
• On personal change
  Martha Beck: "If you allow yourself to live by love, every time you do something you actually don’t want to do, it’s taking a bit of your life force out." (48:47)
• On letting go of consensus
  Martha Beck: “The whole cultural thing is about force and pushing...but real love always sets the beloved free.” (48:47)

Engaging Q&A and Real-Life Application

Amanda’s Skepticism & Martha’s Response (25:49–33:20)

• Amanda questions the practicality of “just doing what feels warm,” worrying she would never get out of bed or parent properly.
• Martha responds with stories of high achievers who, by letting go and following inspiration, “got more done without the suffering.” She references Eastern philosophy, describing how “relaxing into nature” doesn’t mean inaction—it’s about letting energy flow through you.

Personal Revelations and Embodied Stories

• Abby shares how Martha’s advice has shaped not only their marriage but how they parent their children, encouraging them to discern what feels “warm or cold.” (19:30–20:40)
• Martha and Glennon discuss their own moments of hitting bottom, rage, and eventual freedom through radical honesty and self-trust.

Actionable Takeaways

• Warm/Cold Compass: Use bodily sensations (“Does this feel warm or cold?”) as a North Star for decision-making.
• Start Small: Make one degree turns—swap 10 minutes of dread for 10 minutes of joy, gradually reclaiming your life.
• Rage & Suffering as Guides: See anger and suffering not as enemies, but as signals showing where you’re out of alignment.
• Write the Truth: Don’t sugarcoat or “fake positive”—admit to yourself what feels deadening, and then what (even just a little) would feel more alive.
• It’s Personal: Only you can know your true instructions—no one else can give them to you.

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:30–02:50: Glennon describes Martha’s “warm/cold” question that changed her life.
• 07:44–09:29: Realization of living by others' consensus; breaking away from external definitions of “right.”
• 13:08–15:29: Falling in love with Abby; Martha’s life-changing advice to “love each other out loud.”
• 22:43–24:48: Martha on suffering as an indicator you've lost connection to self.
• 25:49–27:18: Amanda’s skepticism and Martha’s reassurance on “following your bliss.”
• 34:29–35:52: Rage, resentment, and writing down the truth as first steps back to self.
• 56:31–57:05: Martha’s “one degree turn” method—simple, actionable strategy.

Episode Tone & Vibe

The conversation is equal parts raw, humorous, and deeply compassionate—marked by honesty, personal storytelling, and the kind of soulful guidance that’s both mystical and practical. Martha’s language is vivid, direct, and reassuring, repeatedly circling back to the central message: the information you need is already in your body, and reclaiming your life starts with the smallest, warmest choices forward.

For anyone struggling to know what’s next, feeling disconnected from life, or simply hungry for wisdom that affirms both their struggle and their power—this episode is a layered, living guidebook: Come back to your senses. Start with warmth. Tell the truth. And begin, one gentle degree at a time.