We Can Do Hard Things - Episode: Mean Girls & Mothers-in-Law: HOW TO DEAL
Release Date: June 26, 2025

Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of We Can Do Hard Things, hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle tackle two significant challenges faced by their listeners: navigating the tricky dynamics of preteen friendships and setting boundaries with family members on social media. Additionally, they offer guidance on coping with personal crises and share uplifting listener stories.

Navigating Preteen Friendships and Mean Girls

Guest: Nicole from East Tennessee
Timestamp: 02:36 – 15:29

Nicole reaches out with concerns about her 12.5-year-old daughter, Ella, who is grappling with the harsh reality that "girls are just mean." Ella experienced public embarrassment when a friend, referred to as Jackie, announced her new relationship with Ella's crush, Jack, during a volleyball banquet. This incident has left Nicole feeling disappointed and unsure about how to help her daughter handle such social dynamics.

Key Points Discussed:

• Relational Aggression in Youth: Abby highlights that nearly half of all youth experience relational aggression—ranging from exclusion to physical violence—twice a month or more (07:04).

• Gender Differences in Conflict Resolution: Amanda shares her observations from teaching third grade, noting that boys are generally more comfortable resolving conflicts directly, whereas girls often internalize their feelings, leading to behind-the-scenes tensions and "backstabbing" (10:14).

• The Importance of Open Communication: Glennon emphasizes the need for maintaining open dialogues with Ella, ensuring she feels supported without overreacting to every incident, which can discourage her from sharing future struggles (14:42).

• Role-Playing and Empowerment: Amanda suggests role-playing with Ella to prepare her for handling similar situations, fostering resilience and confidence in managing peer conflicts (13:00).

Notable Quote:
Glennon Doyle (06:15): "Girls learn to stab each other in the back because they can't address the hurt directly."

Setting Social Media Boundaries with Family

Guest: Kim from Nebraska
Timestamp: 24:32 – 35:12

Kim voices her frustration over her mother-in-law's impersonal approach to celebrating her daughter's birthday—posting a simple "Happy Birthday" on Facebook without any personal touch like a call or card. She seeks advice on addressing these social media boundaries within her family.

Key Points Discussed:

• Underlying Relationship Issues: Glennon and Amanda interpret Kim's concern as a symptom of deeper relational issues with her in-laws, rather than just a boundary problem on social media (25:22).

• Expressing Deep Needs: Amanda encourages Kim to identify and articulate her deeper desires for a more meaningful relationship with her in-laws, moving beyond surface-level frustrations (29:28).

• Vulnerability and Communication: The trio advocate for vulnerability, suggesting that Kim express her longing for a closer relationship rather than focusing solely on the perceived slight (31:03).

• Acceptance and Letting Go: Glennon advises accepting that while Kim may desire a different form of interaction, she might need to embrace the current state of her relationship and find peace within it (32:20).

Notable Quote:
Amanda Doyle (34:04): "You're creating a new culture with your family while navigating the existing ones—with grace."

Coping with Personal Crises and Finding Strength

Guest: Kylie from Nebraska
Timestamp: 37:25 – 48:18

Kylie shares her struggle with intense personal crises that are pushing her out of her comfort zone. Despite being adept at processing emotions internally, she feels the need to "leave her cocoon" and seeks strategies to dig deep and persevere through fear and pressure.

Key Points Discussed:

• Embracing Vulnerability: Abby relates to Kylie's experience, emphasizing the strength found in embracing vulnerability and the importance of accepting both success and failure as part of the journey (42:06).

• Mental Preparation: Drawing from her athletic background, Abby explains how accepting potential outcomes—whether victory or defeat—helps in building resilience and confidence (43:24).

• Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone: Amanda encourages Kylie to shift focus from internal processing to active engagement with the world, suggesting music and creative rituals as tools for motivation and courage (47:07).

• Continuous Growth: Glennon and Amanda highlight the importance of ongoing efforts to face fears, acknowledging that while discomfort never fully disappears, each challenge builds capacity for handling future obstacles (48:18).

Notable Quote:
Abby Wambach (44:14): "This is about opening wider and experiencing as much as possible, even if it means more failure."

Listener Stories and Community Support

Guest: Megan
Timestamp: 37:27 – 51:20

Megan shares a touching story about how friends supported her after a double mastectomy by sending a humorous life-size cardboard cutout, bringing laughter and comfort during a challenging time. This gesture exemplifies the power of creativity and love in healing and maintaining connections.

Key Points Discussed:

• Creative Expressions of Support: Examples of friends organizing "boob voyage" parties and sending humorous gifts to lighten the emotional load (50:31).

• Importance of Community: The hosts emphasize the significance of having a supportive community that brings joy and relief through thoughtful and playful actions (51:04).

Notable Quote:
Glennon Doyle (50:31): "People are so creative. I love how creative people are with their love."

Conclusion

In this episode of We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda offer compassionate and practical advice on navigating the challenges of preteen social dynamics, setting healthy boundaries with family on social media, and finding inner strength during personal crises. Through their insightful discussions and listener stories, they reinforce the message that while life is undeniably tough, facing these hard things together makes us all a little bit braver and lighter.

Notable Quotes Overview:

• Glennon Doyle (06:15): "Girls learn to stab each other in the back because they can't address the hurt directly."

• Amanda Doyle (34:04): "You're creating a new culture with your family while navigating the existing ones—with grace."

• Abby Wambach (44:14): "This is about opening wider and experiencing as much as possible, even if it means more failure."

• Glennon Doyle (50:31): "People are so creative. I love how creative people are with their love."

For more insights and support, tune into We Can Do Hard Things on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your preferred podcast platform.