Podcast Summary: We Can Do Hard Things

Episode: “Menopause: W.T.F?!?!” (Oct 28, 2025)

Main Theme

In this candid, hilarious, and deeply honest episode, Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle, and a surprise guest, “Madam President,” take on the messy, under-discussed reality of perimenopause and menopause. The conversation is a mix of raw frustration, humor, solidarity, and practical sharing, aimed at validating experiences and dismantling the cultural shame and ignorance around this phase of women’s lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Untold Reality of Perimenopause (00:22–13:24)

• Glennon’s Perspective:
  Glennon opens by saying she has been looking forward to discussing menopause, but dreads that no one is talking about it in a way that matches her experience:
  • “I feel as if my mind and my heart and my body and my life and my relationships and my planet are all on fire.” (00:22–00:41)
  • She details her nightmarish symptoms: insomnia, racing thoughts (“a beehive in my head”), skin itching (“fire ants with tiny daggers”), night sweats, and being soaked in sweat (“Just try to think of it as a water bed.” 06:10).
  • The symptoms extend to daily life: sudden motion sickness, TV making her nauseous, changes in hair and skin, and a creeping sense of internal and external dessication.
  • Vivid self-portrait:
    “I am dried apple Colonial Shrunken Head Barbie…This is not just my appearance. This is my soul.” (11:52)

2. Emotional Toll & Identity Dissonance (13:26–17:13)

• Glennon notes the emotional flattening—and intermittent rage—that perimenopause brings:
  • “It’s not just my appearance…Perimenopause has shrunk my heart three sizes.” (13:26)
  • She describes the loss of joy and connection to positive emotions: “I can look at the exact same thing and be like, I can see objectively that that is a happy thing…Oh, look, a joyful occurrence.” (14:28–15:06)
  • Glennon’s main feeling: “irritation.”

3. The Broken Healthcare System (17:13–20:09)

• Systemic Neglect:
  Abby and Amanda discuss feeling dismissed by doctors and the lack of useful information in the healthcare system:
  • “I went from doctor to doctor saying something feels off. And they just kept telling me I was fine. I was not fine.” – Abby (18:48)
  • Amanda observes: “The healthcare system is failing women in midlife and doctors are uneducated and the guidelines are outdated." (19:23)

4. Impact on Relationships (21:16–29:59)

• Irritation and Negotiation:
  Glennon humorously and authentically describes how menopause-triggered irritability can target loved ones:
  • “I decided recently that the real problem…was that Abby makes too many noises.” (22:13)
  • The couple entered negotiation over “which noises” Abby could make—sneezing, clearing throat, “elephant sanctuary” mornings, etc.
  • “We just had a long list, and we talked about which was most important,” says Glennon (24:18).
  • Both agree that partnership during menopause involves offering each other enormous grace and patience.

5. Societal Expectations and Cultural Neglect (27:09–36:55)

• Invisible Suffering, Lack of Support:
  • “There’s no physical representation. We don’t have a thing we can point to…So it all just looks like you're crazy.” (26:29)
  • Glennon and Amanda discuss how pregnancy receives support and sympathy, but menopause—when women supposedly become "useless" to the culture—does not.
  • Emotional theme: Women have supported everyone else, but now are left unsupported.
  • “We have mothered you, we have sistered you, we have held up your sky, like, and now you’re just annoyed that we're annoyed. There’s just something…a moral wound to me.” – Glennon (45:09)

6. Medical Ignorance and the Need for Solidarity (36:55–49:25)

• Alarming Stats & Systemic Neglect:
  • Only 1/3 of OBGYN residencies have menopause training; 75% of women never receive treatment for menopause symptoms (37:12–38:34).
  • “We have conflated normal with acceptable,” says the medical expert, pointing out that just because menopause symptoms are typical does not mean they should be tolerated as untreatable (39:57).
• Call for Connection & Information-Sharing:
  • “We take care of us,” Glennon repeats, stressing the importance of women sharing their experiences and resources with each other.

7. Spiritual Perspective and Setting Boundaries (35:02–36:55)

• Glennon describes menopause as a spiritual culling—a time when she can no longer tolerate what doesn’t serve her:
  • “I am unable to enter anymore into situations that aren’t right for my soul…So I do understand that there’s something good spiritually going on with, you know, like a deep culling of shit." (35:02)
  • Many women share feeling adrift, despite resources and support—this is a structural, not personal, failing.

8. “The Do Not Care Club” w/ Surprise Guest: Madam President (51:00–55:10)

• “Madam President,” founder of the viral “Do Not Care Club,” brings levity and empowerment:
  • Membership in the club means: let go of unnecessary burdens and social expectations, embrace comfort, refuse to shrink or apologize.
  • “We do not care if we hurt your feelings. We said what we said. And we do not care if we have cellulite on our legs. Legs is legs. That’s it.” – Madam President (52:40)
  • Glennon’s list includes: no more stilts (high heels), no more makeup, no more “hard pants,” and—above all—no more fake laughs.
  • Madam President: “You are absolutely a member of this club. Approved.” (55:01)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I feel as if my mind and my heart and my body and my life and my relationships and my planet are all on fire.” – Glennon (00:22)
• “It feels like bees activate…the second I lay my head down.” – Glennon (04:07)
• “I am dried apple Colonial Shrunken Head Barbie. This is not just my appearance. This is my soul.” – Glennon (11:52)
• “Perimenopause has shrunk my heart three sizes.” – Glennon (13:26)
• “Irritation…That is as close as I can get to a feeling.” – Glennon (16:25)
• “I went from doctor to doctor saying something feels off…they kept telling me I was fine. I was not fine.” – Abby (18:48)
• “Unreasonable times call for unreasonable measures.” – Medical Professional/Expert (26:11)
• “Only 1/3 of OBGYNs are trained in menopause management. One-third. And that’s deliberate.” – Medical Professional/Expert (38:00)
• “We have conflated normal with acceptable. We say, ‘It’s typical,’ but it should mean, ‘What are we going to do about it?’” – Medical Professional/Expert (39:57)
• “We take care of us. Who gets information to each other? We do.” – Glennon (44:28)
• “There is nothing more natural than being 90 and not getting an erection. But the DOD is gonna make damn sure that you can get [ED meds] by mail, and it's covered by your insurance.” – Medical Professional/Expert (47:27)
• “We do not care if we hurt your feelings. We said what we said.” – Madam President (52:40)
• “If Chad can walk around with his face hanging out, so can we.” – Glennon (54:06)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Nightmare Symptoms & Self Portrait: 00:22 – 13:24
• Emotional Flatness & Irritation: 13:26 – 17:13
• Medical Dismissal & Systemic Failures: 17:13 – 20:09
• Relationship Challenges: 21:16 – 29:59
• Society’s Indifference: 27:09 – 36:55
• Medical Education Gaps: 36:55 – 38:44
• Call for Solidarity & Information: 44:28 – 45:30
• Surprise Guest—Do Not Care Club: 51:00 – 55:10

Resources Mentioned

• Menopause Society (menopause.org): Directory of credentialed menopause providers (49:01)
• MIDI Health (joinmidi.com): Telehealth platform for perimenopause/menopause care (various mentions)

Tone & Language

The conversation is frank, vulnerable, and layered with self-deprecating humor and warmth. The speakers don’t shy away from raw truths or messy details but always return to connection, empathy, and the clear message: you are not alone.

Takeaways

• Perimenopause and menopause are uncharted territory for most women, filled with physical and emotional upheaval.
• The medical system is failing women at midlife, with stark gaps in knowledge and empathy.
• Social conversations, humor, and honest sharing—instead of shame and silence—are forms of collective care.
• Solidarity is essential: “We take care of us.”
• It’s time for women—and their partners—to “not care” about outdated expectations or performative suffering, and to demand the care, answers, and comfort they deserve.

If you’re experiencing perimenopause or menopause—or love someone who is—this episode is a validating, riotous, and necessary listen.